Diogenes Ruiz's Blog, page 8

Dixie Doggy Wisdom

While the humans were away, Dixie and I took the opportunity to lay around outside and ponder the meaning of life. She is an extraordinary hound.

EB: How old are you Dixie?

Dixie: I celebrated my fourteenth birthday this week. That means that I am 98 in human years.

EB: Did you have any difficulties training your humans.

Dixie: No, I’ve got them trained to give treats after I poop and peep!

EB: Wow! That is extraordinary.

Dixie: You’ve got to be consistent in their training. But more importantly, you must let them think that they are training you.

EB: What is the best advice you can give to others.

Dixie: Dogs or humans?

EB: Both.

Dixie: To my fellow canines I would say, trust your nose. If it smells like a old poop it probably is. To humans I would say they need to find a cure for their angry man disease. They have all the symptoms except foaming at the mouth. If they’re not careful, the world might go to the dogs.

EB: What is the meaning of life?

Dixie: Nothing, unless you take the time to be kind and enjoy the sniff. As you probably know we are here to look after humans. Some of them suspect this but most are oblivious and are obsessed with collecting green paper, plastic rectangles and hoarding inorganic material.

EB: Are you worried about humans.

Dixie: Yes, they are very confused about right and wrong.

Happy Unplugged 4th of July

OK, here’s the thing. I took June off. So sue me! I had some planting to do in my garden and I was helping “you know who” with his second book. Plus, sometimes you just need to unplug and not do any online stuff.

I’m wishing you all a Happy 4th of July. Don’t just celebrate your freedom, practice a little of the freedom that you had, by not checking your Facebook page. The irony is that many of us will claim to be celebrating freedom by being balled and chained to our computers and cell phones.

Don’t get me wrong. I love technology and people. But sometimes the crap that is posted is beyond me. Do I really care? is the question that I ask myself after reading some of the stuff people, (nice people) post on Facebook. Below are just a few examples that I copied and pasted to illustrate. I won’t mention any names so I don’t get hate mail. If you see your post,I still love you, but your posts stink.

We have A/C on all three floors now!  – EB: I’m not unsympathetic, but I don’t care.
Packing up the kids for a swim lesson. – EB: Don’t care.
A friend from Virginia visited last night...- EB: Don’t care.
Almost boarding time. -EB: Don’t care.
I’ve been very inspired by my clients recently. – EB: Don’t care.
I’m unpacking and not knowing where anything is. -EB: You’re an idiot.

Maybe I’m just a little annoyed because my new rose bushes are taking a long time to bloom. But it seems that between the online fodder and bad news on TV, we all should take our freedom and exercise it to pull the plug for at least a day.

Have a wonderful 4th of July.

Book Critic and Lover of Lebanese Food?

me: What have you been up to these past few weeks, EB?

EB: I’ve been out cruising around North Carolina, checking out good places to eat. I’ve driven over 2000 miles checking out different eateries.

me: What’s your favorite place so far?

EB: Well, ironically, my favorite place is within 3 miles of home, on Strickland Rd, just off Six Forks. It’s called “Neomonde,” which means new world in Lebanese.

me: Why is that one your favorite?

EB: Great carrots is only the beginning! They have an assortment of fresh Mediterranean food, so I never get bored, although I tend to eat the same things over and over.

me: I go there all the time, EB. In fact, I go there and sit for several hours working on my book. It is a great place.

EB: How come you never took me there?

me: I didn’t know you liked Mediterranean food.

EB: You’re joking right? You pretty much know that if you put a carrot in it, I’ll try anything. Well, almost anything.

me: I know, but it just never occurred to me to take you there.

EB: Well, you’ll just have to make up for your lack of rabbit sensitivity. And you call yourself a writer?

me: Sorry. I will make it up to you. We’ll go there this week.

EB: Yeah, let’s plan to do that. We have much to discuss.

me: Like what?

EB: For one, I want to know if you had the final edit done on “A Rabbit’sTale.” You put that book out with all those grammatical errors and you still go great reviews. You are lucky you didn’t get hate mail.

me: The final editing is done, both the paperback and Kindle version have had the corrections made. As of yesterday, all copies are cleaned up.

EB: Well, there are other things we need to discuss, like the draft of your new book.

me: You read it? What do you think?

EB: I read part of it, and….well, it sucks as much as a book can suck.

me: Geeez, what do you mean?

EB: I’ll explain it all to you when you take me to Neomonde for lunch. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Neomonde-Cafe-Market-Strickland-Road/52209815962?fref=ts And, make sure you bring a large notebook so you can take notes. You have much to learn my human friend.

Koontz – Big Little Surprise

I asked EB if he wanted to read “a big little life” with me. He was hesitant at first, but once we started, he was hooked, so was I. It’s a memoir of Dean Koontz’s dog, Trixie, a wonderful golden retriever. EB didn’t think he would be interested in a book about a dog.  As it turned out, he made me sit in the truck and keep reading until we finished it. EB can be a little OCD. Anyway, he loved the book and so did I. This is not like most of Koontz’s books since its a memoir, but it was a great read. We both fell in love with Trixie. It was full of magic moments and insights as a result of his relationship with this beautiful animal.

One of the things that made this book special was getting a glimpse into the life of Dean Koontz. What type of person is he? Personally, I think he’s a great writer who can appreciate the extraordinary in the ordinary.

WIth so many fallen heroes today, it was nice to find out that someone that you admire is in reality a generous and kind person. I will enjoy reading his books even more having had a glimpse of the person behind the thrillers.  I have to admit that having read several of Koontz novels, he was one of the inspirations for the villain in A Rabbit’s Tale an Easter Story. As I was writing it, I kept asking myself how might Dean Koontz construct, Monty, my villain. So, I guess I owe Mr. Koontz a bit of thanks as well for helping me come up with a character readers love to hate.

If you are Koontz fan pick this one up but know that it is a different type of book. If you haven’t read Koontz, dig in, there are plenty of juicy selections. Happy reading!

 

Instrument of Hatred or Instrument of Peace?

It has been a rough week. Haven’t posted anything since all the madness started in Boston. All the needless suffering, lost lives and fear inflicted by two men…makes no sense. As I write this post, I get a message that my niece has given birth to a baby boy, makes no sense if you don’t believe in anything. Makes perfect sense if you believe in the God’s grace.

I thought it fitting to share a photo I took a few winters ago in Shelley Lake Park, along with a quote by one of my favorite people, St. Francis of Assisi.

Everyday day, in every part of the world, people act out things based on what they believe or think they believe. We don’t all have to agree with each other, but we do have to make a choice. What kind of instrument am I? What kind of instrument are you?

May God’s Peace be with you.

Meet EB’s Friend, Amazing Grace

This weekend EB and I went to the Durham Arts Walk. There were a lot of vendors selling great art, jewelry and all kinds of neat things. EB stopped by one table featuring  really cool organizational stuff. Grace, the lady who created all of it, spend a lot of time chit chatting with EB. They really hit it off. EB said if I didn’t write about his new friend, he was going to poke my eyes out with his carrot. So, here is EB with Grace as she showed some items to my impulsive friend.

He was particulary taken with the animals and thought the ipad holders were cool too. EB sat down with Grace and told her that she had to let more folks know about her products. So Grace set up her first blog and EB wants to have his friends show her some love by stopping by at http://gracefulorganization.wordpress.com.

When you stop by let Grace know that you are a friend of EB’s, that way I won’t have to worry about getting my eyes poked out.

The Easter Bunny Discovers Chesterton

I had a chance to spend some time enjoying the outdoors with my good friend, EB. It was a good opportunity to talk about what’s ahead.

me: So EB, Easter Sunday has come and gone. Do you take it easy between now and next Easter?

EB: Are you kidding? A rabbit’s work is never done! I’ve got a ton of things to do, for starters I’ve got bunny appearance events throughout the year. There’s the fan mail that has piled up and of course keeping my eye on you and helping you with the book. And, I’ve decided to read the Bible this year.

me: Wow, so you’re finally going to read it? Maybe this is a sign of the apocalypse. I never thought you’d actually read it.

EB: Well, I found out that the Bible is really a collection of books, not just one book. It’s a library of sorts.

me: And what led you to this sudden curiosity about the books of the Bible?

EB: I’ve been reading GK Chesterton. The guy was either a complete loon or one of the most brilliant people on earth at the time he was alive. Here are a few of his quotes that I really like.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love

our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.

me: You’re turning into quite the sophisticated rabbit. Next, you’ll be eating caviar.

EB: You can keep the caviar, I’ll keep my peeps.

North Korea’s Kim Jong-un – EB’s Exclusive Interview

EB visited North Korea this weekend at the invitation of North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un. Reluctant at first EB, was permitted by President Obama to make the trip. It would be classified as an unofficial diplomatic gesture. President Obama figured that perhaps talking to a bunny rabbit was exactly what the North Korean leader needed, as the tensions continue to rise between North Korea and the rest of the world. EB was warmly greeted by the dictator and he presented Kim Jong-un with a copy of A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story and a package of marshmallow peeps which brought a big smile and a hearty salute from the dictator.

Here is the transcript from this historic meeting which sheds new insight into the mind of the North Korean leader.

EB: 김 음, 여기 새기는 아니 었습니다. 나는 여러 군데 줄을 댔 당신을 방문 할 수 있도록 많은 부탁 전화를했다. Well Kim, it wasn’t easy getting here. I had to pull a lot of strings and call in a lot of favors to be able to visit you.

Kim: 네,와 주셔서 감사합니다. Yes, thank you for coming.

EB: 그럼, 당신에게 무슨 일이? 당신에게 무슨 일이 사람들을 공격하고자? So, what’s going on with you? What this about you wanting to attack everybody?

Kim: 내 나라를 보호하는 것이 제 의무 죠. It’s my duty to protect my country.

EB: 자, 당신은 아무도 것을 구매가 없다는 건 알아요. 나는 토끼 고, 난을 구입하지 않습니다. 당신은 데니스로드 만 그 말을 믿지 얻을 수 있지만, 난 아니야. 지금, 무슨 일이야? 당신은 깨끗 올 필요하거나 여기 outa이고, 더 이상 초콜릿 당신을 위해 부활절 달걀을 적용, 나는 당신이 주를 먹어 본 적이 말할 수 있습니다. C’mon, you know nobody buys that. I’m a rabbit and I don’t buy that. You might get Dennis Rodman to believe that, but I don’t. Now, what’s up? You need to come clean or I’m outa here and no more chocolate covered Easter eggs for you, and I can tell that you’ve eaten your share.

이 EB와 독재자의 시제 순간이었다. 그리고 모두의 놀라움에 김정일 취소 고장 및 EB에 모든 흘 렸어. 학교 소년처럼 우는의 잠시 후 김 EB의 발을 잡고 계속했다. This was a tense moment for EB and the dictator. Then to everyone’s surprise Kim Jong-un broke down and spilled it all to EB. After a moment of sobbing like a school boy, Kim grabbed EB’s paws and continued.

Kim: 아, EB 나는 무엇을 해야할지 모르겠어요. 시체가 저를 좋아하지 않아 그리고 내가 다시 사용하도록 설정할 수 있습니다 생각하지 않습니다. 당신은 내가 작은 땅콩을 참조하십시오. 끔찍입니다. 나는 문제를 해결하는 방법을 모르겠어요. 나는 어떻게해야할지 모르겠어요. Oh, EB I don’t know what to do. No body likes me and I don’t think that I can turn back. You see I have small peanuts. It’s terrible. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know what to do.

EB: Your English stinks, but I think I understand. Can’t you get a farmer or a doctor to take a look at it? Maybe something can be done? 귀하의 영어 냄새가 나는,하지만 난 이해할 것 같아요. 당신은 농부 또는 살펴하는 의사를 가져올 수 없습니다? 월 뭔가를 수행 할 수 있습니다?

Kim: 난 그게 해결 될 수 있다고 생각하지 않습니다. 하지만이 모든 것은 아닙니다. 우리 나라에 초코가 없습니다. 안주인은 더 이상하지 않습니다. I don’t think it can be fixed. But that’s not all. There are no Twinkies in my country. Hostess doesn’t make them anymore.

EB: 내가 당신의 고통의 동생을 생각하지만, 당신은 심각하게 생각하지 마세요! 당신이 작은 땅콩을 가지고 있으며 북한의 안주인의 초코을 할 수 없기 때문에 세상을 날려 버리고 싶어요! I feel for your pain brother, but you can’t be serious! You want to blow up the world because you have small peanuts and you can’t get Hostess Twinkies in North Korea!

독재자는 흐느껴 울다 계속하고 EB를 두들 기는 소리가 히스테릭 울음 김정일 취소를 무리를 기절. The dictator continued to sob and EB stunned the crowd by slapping the hysterically crying Kim Jong-un.

EB: 이봐, 자신을 함께 해! Get yourself together, man!

Kim: 하지만 그건, EB 뿐만이 아닙니다. 나는 농구를 너무 짧은이야! But that’s not all, EB. I’m too short to play basketball!

EB: 당신은 단지 북한에서 그물을 낮출되지 않는 이유는, 그 법률 만드나요? Why don’t you just lower the nets all across North Korea, make it a law?

Kim: 늦은 게다가, 난 제니퍼 로페즈에게 호감을 가지고 있습니다. 하지만 그녀는 나의 사랑의 편지에주의를 지불하지 않습니다. 난 너무 외로워입니다. 나는 친구가 없습니다, ​​내 아내는 땅콩 알레르기가 있습니다. 난 정말 좌절입니다. To late, besides, I have a crush on Jennifer Lopez. But she doesn’t pay attention to my love letters. I’m so lonely. I have no friends and my wife has a peanut allergy. I’m so frustrated.

EB: 이봐 요, 당신은 엉망입니다! 그냥 과일 케이크처럼 행동 중단하고 로켓을 치우 게 어때? 당신이 더 많은 친구 그렇게 할 거에요. Man, you are a mess! Why don’t you just stop acting like fruit cake and put your rockets away? I think you’ll make more friends that way.

Kim: 나는 과일 케이크를 좋아하지만 우리는 우리 나라에 아무도 없어. 당신이 Trix 아이를위한 말해야한다고 생각하지 않기 때문에, 저는 특히 화가입니다. I love fruit cake, but we have none in my country. But, I’m especially angry because I don’t think you should say Trix are for kids.

EB: 그건 단지 오래된 상업 있었고, 전 Trix 아이를위한 말하는 사람이 아니 였어. That was just an old commercial, and I wasn’t the one saying that Trix are for kids.

Kim: 오, 내가 혼란 스러워요. 나는 어떻게해야할지 모르겠어요. Oh, I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.

EB: 왜 필라테스 나 요가 같은 걸하려고하지 않습니다. 당신이 잿더미로 북한 켜기 전에 머리를 바르게보십시오. Why don’t you try pilates or yoga or something. Try to straighten out your head before you turn North Korea into an ashtray.

Kim: 무슨 뜻 이죠? What do you mean?

EB: 당신은 다른 나라에서 지적마다 로켓를 들어, 20 명이며, 더 큰 당신을 다시 지적했다.수학을 수행합니다. For every rocket you point at another country, there are twenty, bigger ones pointed back at you. Do the math.

Kim: 심지어 한국? Even South Korea?

EB: 특히 한국과 그녀의 동맹. 김, 당신은 당신이 보는 것보다 훨씬 멍청 알고 있습니다. Especially South Korea and her allies. Kim, you know you are a lot dumber than you look.

이 시점에서 독재자가 다시 우는 시작했다. At this point the dictator started sobbing again.

Kim: 봐, 당신은 더 이상 날 좋아하지 없다. See, you don’t like me anymore either.

EB: 내가 당신을 많이 좋아해요. 당신이 필요로하는 것은 묶은 적이 있습니다. 그리고 당신은 사람들이 행복한 삶을 영위하도록 할 수 있습니다. I like you plenty. All you need is a good spanking. Then you can let your people lead happy lives.

Kim: 하지만 아빠가 날 자랑스러워하지 않을 것입니다. But my dad would not be proud of me.

EB: 아빠가 죽었어요. 살아 모든 사람들이, 특히 제니퍼 로페즈 널 자랑스러워 할 것입니다. Daddy is dead. Everybody alive would be proud of you, especially Jennifer Lopez.

Kim: 모르겠어요. I don’t know.

EB: 음, 당신이 지금도 생각하거나 전혀 땅콩에 휩싸 일 수 있습니다. Well, you think about it amigo, or you might wind up with no peanuts at all.

North Korea’s Kim Jong-un Exclusive Interview with EB

EB visited North Korea this weekend at the invitation of North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un. Reluctant at first EB, was permitted by President Obama to make the trip. It would be classified as an unofficial diplomatic gesture. President Obama figured that perhaps talking to a bunny rabbit was exactly what the North Korean leader needed, as the tensions continue to rise between North Korea and the rest of the world. EB was warmly greeted by the dictator and he presented Kim Jong-un with a copy of A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story and a package of marshmallow peeps which brought a big smile and a hearty salute from the dictator.

Here is the transcript from this historic meeting which sheds new insight into the mind of the North Korean leader.

EB: Well Kim, it wasn’t easy getting here. I had to pull a lot of strings and call in a lot of favors to be able to visit you.

Kim: Uhm – yes, I tank yu kuld koming.

EB: So, what’s going on with you? What this about you wanting to attack everybody?

Kim: It’s mi doote tu pratek mi cuntree

EB: C’mon, you know nobody buys that. I’m a rabbit and I don’t buy that. You might get Dennis Rodman to believe that, but I don’t. Now, what’s up? You need to come clean or I’m outa here and no more chocolate covered Easter eggs for you, and I can tell that you’ve eaten your share.

This was a tense moment for EB and the dictator. Then to everyone’s surprise Kim Jong-un broke down and spilled it all to EB. After a moment of sobbing like a school boy, Kim grabbed EB’s paws and continued.

Kim: Oh, EB – I dunt no wat ti du. Nobadee lyk mi and I no tink i can tirn bak. U see, I hav smal peanuts. Is terible. I dunt no hau to fix.

EB: Your English stinks, but I think I understand. Can’t you get a farmer or a doctor to take a look at it? May something can be done?

Kim: No tink it can be fix, but dat nut al, ders no mor twinky in mi kuntry. Hostess dont maik no mo.

EB: I feel for your pain brother, but you can’t be serious! You want to blow up the world because you have small peanuts and you can’t get Hostess Twinkies in North Korea!

The dictator continued to sob and EB stunned the crowd by slapping the hysterically crying Kim Jong-un.

EB: Get yourself together, man!

Kim: but dat nut all, EB. I tu short tu pla baskitball!

EB lowered his head and nodded to avoid from laughing and to try to show some sympathy with the grief stricken dictator.

EB: Why don’t you just lower the nets all across North Korea, make it a law?

Kim: Tu lat fo dat besid, I hav crush on Jennifer Lopez, but she no pai attesun to mi luv letrs. I so lonlee, hav no frends plus wif hav peenut allergy. I so fruztatid.

EB: Man, you are a mess! Why don’t you just stop acting like fruit cake and put your rockets away? I think you’ll make more friends that way.

Kim: Mi luv frut kak but no hav in my cuntry no mo, but i espacilee mad, mi no tink Trix shuld be just for kidz, lik u say.

EB: That was just a commercial, and I wasn’t the one saying that Trix are for kids.

Kim: Ohh, mi so confuzd. I not wat to do.

EB: Why don’t you try pilates or yoga or something. Try to straighten out your head before you turn North Korea into an ashtray.

Kim: Wat yu meen?

EB: For every rocket you point at another country, there are twenty, bigger ones pointed back at you. Do the math.

Kim: Evin South Korea?

EB: Especially South Korea and her allies. Kim, you know you are a lot dumber than you look.

At this point the dictator started sobbing again

Kim: See yu no lik me no mo eider.

EB: I like you plenty. All you need is a good spanking. Then you can let your people lead happy lives.

Kim: But dadee no be proud of mi.

EB: Daddy is dead. Everybody alive would be proud of you, especially Jennifer Lopez.

Kim: I dunt no.

EB: Well, you think about it amigo, or you might wind up with no peanuts at all.

Irene’s Art

This is my friend Irene. She lives in the Philippines and has an incredible gift of creating bold art with wonderful patterns. Below is a picture of me that she did for Easter. It’s great, she even gave me extra long whiskers. You should check out the post on her web site.

Irene’s art would make great book cover art for anyone who is looking for an artist. Visit her site and check out some of her illustrations.

http://www.hellocotton.com/to/iDKA#http://inadifferentplaceblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/this-should-have-been-posted-on-easter-sunday/