Diogenes Ruiz's Blog, page 10

Easter Bunny is Special Guest at Conclave

EB was a special guest at the Conclave at the Vatican today. He was among a group of special dignitaries that were invited to attend. He bought along several copies of “A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story” for the new pope.

When it was time to officially begin the Conclave, the papal master of ceremonies, Msgr. Guido Marini, said the words “extra omnes”, which means “everyone out”. Several dozen attendants, clergymen and Vatican officials left, including the man that had been Benedict’s longtime personal secretary, Archbishop Georg Gänswein.

But before all the Cardinals retired behind locked doors to conduct Conclave business and elect a new pope, they each shook EB’s hand and spoke words of blessings on this amazing rabbit. Later, at 7:41 pm, black smoke emerged from the special chimney signifying the world was still popeless. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Easter Hit: A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story

Every once in a while you get a boost that you did not expect. I just can’t help but share with you this review I received from someone who has been one of my heroes. He did not have to write this and it makes it that much more special.

“Make no mistake about it. This is not a fairy tale. It’s a well written, insightful and imaginative, “tale” that flows easily and has a solid kick of an ending. The characters are described with clarity and poignancy. And as you’re reading along don’t be surprised if you smile often and even laugh out loud. Diogenes is a great story teller. Without fear of over stating it, if you’ve read John Updike’s “Run Rabbit Run,” then you catch glimpses of how a simple theme can unfold in the hands of a master.” – Fr. David McBriar, O.F.M.

A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story will be available as a free download for two days: 3/15 and 3/16 at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BEIQYPC

Is There an Emmy in the Easter Bunny’s Future?

EB met with Emmy Award winner Tim Finkbiner outside his eight million dollar mansion. Tim was this year’s Emmy recipient in the category of documentary film, for ”Birth of a Colony: North Carolina. Tim wanted to talk to EB about “A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story”.

Tim: EB, I read the book and it was great. I’m thinking of making it into a movie. What do you think?

EB: You realize that the main character in the book is not me don’t you? It’s some fictional character named Juan Arias.

Tim: Yeah, I realize that, but the story is so good, with the glimpse into his childhood, then we see him as an adult, and that really wierd accident happens. Wow, then the strange side effects, and that dangerous ego maniac is absolutely despicable. There is some great suspensful stuff in it and I couldn’t put it down.

EB: Yeah, well I think a nice movie about a cute bunny who delivers chocolate covered eggs and yellow peeps on Easter might be more interesting.

Tim: I don’t know EB, this book really got me. There was a good Easter message in it and some other really cool and funny stuff. I might read it again. The reviews on Amazon are pretty spot on. I think they are all five out of five stars. Besides, maybe we can write in a cameo apperance for you. After all, you are the Easter Bunny.

EB: Well, I’m glad you noticed. And you must realized that my acting brilliance can’t be wasted on just any movie.

Tim: Of course, of course.

EB. And I would have to have my own dressing room with a constant supply of peeps and organic carrots.

Tim: Why yes, I think we might be able to accomodate that.

Tim: Do you think you can speak to the author about it. I understand you and he are close friends.

EB: Yeah, I could, but I don’t think he’s much interested in the movie thing. He probably would want to make it into a musical. The guy’s a musician. What can I say?

Tim: That makes no sense. This is not a musical. It’s a suspenseful, wild ride of a page-turner, kind of funny too.

EB: Yeah, well, I’ll have to talk to Diogenes about it.

Tim: Is that his real name.

EB: Unfortunately, it is.

Tim: I think it’s kind of cool.

EB: More like being a boy named “Sue” if you asked me. Like in the Johnny Cash song.

Tim: Hmmm, yeah it might have been rough growing up with a wierd name like that.

EB: That explains why he’s a wierd guy.

Tim: Well, see if you can talk him out of the musical and into the movie idea.

EB: I’ll do my best. If all else fails, I play him a game of chess for the movie rights.

Tim: Thanks EB

EB: Don’t mention it… and remember peeps and organic carrots. They must be yellow peeps.

Tim: Got it.

Easter Bunny Falls In Love With An ELF

EB visited the world headquarters of Organic Transit in Durham, North Carolina, where they are revolutionizing transportation with the ELF (Electric Light Fun). It’s a cross between a compact car and a tricycle.

The ELF is a classified as a bicycle. It has a motor which is charged by the solar collector on the roof of the ELF, so you can pedal it with motor assist or without. Or you can travel without pedaling and let the motor do all the work. You never have to plug it in or fill it up with gas. The ELF has mirror on both sides, headlights and brake lights.

Inside, the controls are comfortable. The seat is adjustable. The ELF weighs approximately 120 lbs and can zip along at 35 mph. It can legally be driven anywhere you can ride a bicycle. You can carry groceries or whatever you need to carry, in the rear compartment. The cost of the ELF is $4000. If you want to find out more visit http://www.organictransit.com/

EB is saving up his carrot money so that he can purchase his very own ELF. It will hold a lot of Easter eggs and make delivering Easter baskets a snap with no pollution.

Support Your Local Bookstore

EB is out today delivering copies of “A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story” to CIMOS RALEIGH, a local shop featuring a local authors section.  http://www.cimosraleigh.com/.

Local book stores are a great place to discover great books written by local authors.  Many of them have book signings and you can have opportunities to talk to the author about their books.  I encourage everyone who loves to read to visit their local book store and discover some great local reads. Sure, there is always Amazon and online book sellers, but keep in mind that buying local directly supports your local economy and community.

Happy shopping and happy reading,

EB

Chess with EB – Big Mistake!

EB and I sat down for a couple of games of chess. I won the first three, so we played a fourth. I won that one too. Then, EB said we should make the game more interesting.

EB: How about we play for some peeps.

me: OK, but if I win you clean the house, while I relax and read a book.

EB: Wow – that’s a lot of work. We have to make it a fair equivalent.

me: what do you think cleaning the house is worth in terms of peeps value?

EB: I’m thinking somewhere around six or seven tons.

me: What are you crazy? That way out of wack!

EB: Well, they are light.

me: Yeah, but that will cost me a fortune.

EB: OK, we’ll keep it cost of cleaning a house to cost of peeps.

me: OK, that sounds reasonable. If I win you clean the house. If I win I’ll buy you however many packs of peeps you can get for the cost I would pay a cleaning service to clean the house.

EB: OK, sounds fair. The house is pretty dirty though.

me: No it’s not!

EB: Well, my standard for clean might not be your standard for clean.

me: Do you want to play or not?

EB: OK, Let’s flip a coin to see who goes first.

Less than 15 minutes after the start of that fifth game, I wound up owing 40 cases of peeps to EB. I’m embarrased to admit it, but I was hustled by the Easter Bunny.

Best Dressed Easter Dog Gets 5 Carrot Award

EB came across this picture which he just had to share with you. It’s of his newest friend Dante. http://thedantediaries.wordpress.com/2013/01/01/rabbit-rabbit-rabbit-16/

Dante is one of the best dressed dogs, in the world. No other canine has such a highly developed sense of fashion. Note the matching pink ensemble. EB wanted to award his prestigious 5 Carrot Award to Dante.

Congratulations my fine canine friend!

Rock and Roll Bunny Jams with Nick Driver

Last night I had the pleasure of playing with my good friend Nick Driver at a show at the Assisi Cafe. I had to step away for a few songs so Nick asked EB to play percussion. The first song EB played with Nick “Let’s Stay Together” was awesome. EB has great rhythm. When Nick started the second song “Song of Peace”, he looked over to see why no sound was coming from the congas. He noticed that EB has slipped away to get a carrot. Nick Driver is a perfectionist when it comes to his music. Boy, was he pissed! He let EB have it. He yelled so hard that EB’s ears went flapping to the right.

Nick: What the ^&*&$%^$% do you think you’re doing getting a carrot while we’re supposed to be playing? Have you lost your %&&&(*&$% mind?

EB: Sorry, Nick – I did get a carrot, but I really stepped away to get my lucky tie. I realized that I didn’t have it on. I have high standards too you know.

Nick: Well, OK – I see you have it on now. Can we do “Song of Peace” now?

EB: Let’s rock!

Nick and EB rocked the house. After the show Nick asked EB if he would go on tour with the band. EB had to decline because of his Easter commitments. And he promised to help promote “A Rabbit’s Tale and Easter Story” by Diogenes Ruiz now on Amazon in e-book and paperback.

EB is a big Nick Driver music fan and he got a thrill to be able to play with him. To check out Nick’s incredible music visit http://www.nickdrivermusic.com. Nick was the winner of the John Lennon Songwriting Competition, and he’s always on tour. If you want Nick to come to your town give him a shout out. He is a great performer and one of the nicest people that EB knows (when he is not blowing your ears to kingdom come).

Is there really a God?

For those of you who are still pondering that question, I submit to you that all you have to do is look at my precious little friend, Emma, or any child for that matter. It’s that simple. While Emma likes pink just like me and has a great sense of fashion like me, I submit to you that children are born with God’s disposition to love. They are filled with His nature. Slowly, as they grow up, they learn how to hate by watching what the rest of us do. They learn about getting ahead, being independent instead of interdependent, getting your’s, being entitled, being important, getting rich, having prestige, being right, being democrat or republican, being a fan, getting plastic surgery, getting the latest app, getting high, worshiping beer, finding that loophole, being free to kill, being a real man, being a real woman, being a star, being jealous, holding a grudge, getting revenge, being politically correct in an aggresively secular world …

What happened to the God in us? What happened to the God in you? The good news is that He is still there. We just need to learn from His actions and His Word and not necessarily the actions or words of one another, or the mind zapping fake-made-real world of entertainment and the media. Too harsh? Tough bunny poop!

As for my wonderful friend Emma, I think that she will remain in God’s nature, because the people around her work hard at being Christ for each other. That’s is something worth learning.

Easter Bunny not Singing the Blues

EB Performed at a solo concert today for some of his closest friends. He wanted to celebrate winning a Liebster Award and also the release of “A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story”.

me: EB, I didn’t know you could sing and play guitar.

EB: There is a lot you don’t know about me. I am a rabbit of mystery.

me: What else might I not know, that you want to share?

EB: Well, for one thing, I can read lips.

me: You’re kidding! That is a strange skill for you to have.

EB: No, I’m not kidding. It’s kind of a hobby. I’m like HAL in the movie “2001 A Space Odyssey” only, I won’t lock you out in the vacumm of space to watch you die.

me: That’s comforting to know. Have you red my lips.

EB: On occasion. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.

me: No, I’m really glad you did.

EB: Now, you will be paranoid knowing that I know everything you’re up to.

me: That’s OK. I have nothing to hide, like some rabbits.

EB: What’s that supposed to mean?

me: You know what I mean, don’t play innocent?

EB: What? Read my lips. “I   d o n ‘ t   k n o w”.

me: You told me that you were going to spend the day in contemplative prayer, and you were really out buring rubber in your Maserati.

EB: I did spend the day in contemplative prayer. All afternoon I was contemplating the fine performance of that incredible automobile, and thanking Jesus for winning the Liebster Award.

me: I thought you weren’t feeling too good.

EB: I wasn’t at first, but Maserati is good medicine. Man, I wished Elvis could have been there!

me: What is it with you and Elvis, you dream about him and you act like he’s still alive and is your best buddy.

EB: We were tight.

me: You never met him!

EB: Yeah, but we would have been tight. In fact, he would have loved your crazy Rabbit’s Tale book.

me: How would you know that.

EB: It’s rabbit intuition. It’s never wrong. He would have liked Juan, your main character. I even wrote a song for the occasion. Wanna hear it?

me: Not really,

EB: OK, here goes, I borrowed a few lines from Elvis but the rest is mine.

It’s one for the money

two for the show

three to get in my Maserati

and go baby go.

Don’t you talk to me about no hot toddy

You can do anything but don’t touch my Maserati

You can take my carrots and step on my face

You can pull me by the ears all over the place

You can do anything that you wanna do,

Ohh but honey stay off -a- that hood

Don’t you talk to me about no hot toddy

You can do anything but don’t touch my Maserati