Rebecca Eanes's Blog, page 25

How to Chill Out Guide for Parents and Caregivers by Bryan Post & Susan Kutchinskas

How to Chill Out Guide for Parents and Caregivers by Bryan Post & Susan KutchinskasIn the event of an emergency, put the oxygen — or oxytocin — mask on yourself first, and then help the person beside you. Here are three simple ways to trigger your oxytocin response when you need a quick dose of calm:

1. Ten deep breaths: People always tell you to take a deep breath because it really works.
It’s difficult to breathe slowly and deeply when you’re stressed and, conversely, breathing as though you feel calm tells the body/mind to relax. Inhale slowly through your nose, counting to 10. Then, exhale for another count of 10, trying to empty your lungs completely. Don’t gasp or force in more air than your lungs can hold; just find a comfortable, consistent pace for drawing air in and out. Repeat 10 times.

2. Make eye contact: Gazing into the eyes of someone you’re close to helps trigger the oxytocin response. Our brains naturally switch into the mode of connection when we look into each others eyes. It’s not necessary to stare or get into a contest to see who blinks first. Instead, feel free to look away for a moment and then return your gaze to the other person’s.



3. Hug: A hug is a safe, socially acceptable way to get a little hit of connection when we need it. (Although it seems like an obvious oxytocin producer, scientists haven’t studied the effects of hugging on oxytocin levels.) Hugging brings us back to our baseline of calm and connection.


Source: Oxytocin Parenting by Bryan Post and Susan Kutchinskas

This parenting resource is available in the Essential Parenting Collection which you can buy in it's entirety or this title is included in the Parenting in the Early Years mini bundle which you can purchase separately if you choose.












*This post contains affiliate links.

Introducing the Essential Parenting Collection

Welcome to the Essential Parenting Collection, the biggest online collection of Mindful Parenting products! This digital bundle offers a wide array of eProducts, including eBooks, audiobooks, eCourses, workbooks, audio, coloring pages.

The Essential Parenting Collection is offered at $49.97, fractions of the retail value of $751.48.

We have divided the products into 5 categories. Scroll down the page to learn more about ALL of these wonderful resources
.
Each mini bundle is available for $19.97.

Pregnancy and BirthThe Early YearsChild DevelopmentResources for Parents Mindful GuidanceFree Gifts with purchase of the Full Collection
Dig into these amazing resources!

Pregnancy and BirthFrom Maiden to Motherhood  Stephanie Brandt Cornais, Mama and Baby Love, 46 pages, retail value $6.99

It's everything I know about conception, pregnancy, and postpartum. And I know a lot! I mentored hundreds of parents in childbirth classes when I was a Birthing From Within Mentor and in labor as a Certified Doula. I have also been a Licensed Massage Therapist for 14 years, specializing in pre-conception, pregnancy, and postpartum. And of course, my sweet Penelope, my oh so wanted, but oh so difficult baby (now almost 4!) has taught me a thing or two as well.

This ebook is just good, fast, easy-to-understand information about everything you absolutely must know as you begin your journey to motherhood. I am giving you all the juicy tidbits and lessons I have learned from working with pregnant couples for the past decade as well as my own experiences with being pregnant and a new mom.

It's everything I have ever told friends or clients, plus some things I wish I had known before getting pregnant with my daughter and other things I will do differently if I am blessed with another baby.
I have also included advice from my team of writers at Mama and Baby Love and some from other bloggers that I love, like The Pregnant Chicken, Code Name: Mama, Mother Rising, Dou-la-la, The Homeopathic Pregnancy, Naturally Knocked Up, Mommypotamus, and more.

As usual around here, I tell it straight, no beating around the bush or sugar coating things, which of course means there are a few curse words, but it's a funny read. You will laugh out loud, I promise."
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection

The Postpartum Herbal GuideLaura Schuerwegen, Authentic Parenting, 18 pages, retail value $2.99
The Postpartum Herbal Guide is an introductory booklet to herbs for new mothers.
Topics include: how to make a herbal infusion, herbs for the postpartum time, traditional chinese postpartum bone broth recipe, herbs and breastfeeding and how to make your own sitz bath mix.
Learn how to use herbs to support and strengthen your postpartum body and to heal minor ailments. Make your postpartum time a nourishing one.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
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The Business of Baby: What Doctors Don't Tell You, What Corporations Try To Sell You, And How to Put Your Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Before Their Bottom Line.
Jennifer Margulis, audiobook, retail value $20
Why does the USA have among the highest maternal and infant mortality rates in the industrialized world? Why do pregnant women who plan to breastfeed receive� samples of infant formula from American obstetricians? Why are American newborns given a vaccine at birth against hepatitis B, a sexually transmitted disease? This eye-opening work of investigative journalism exposes how our current cultural practices during pregnancy, childbirth, and the first year of a baby's life are not based on the best evidence or the most modern science, revealing how American moms and their babies are being undermined by corporate interests.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
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Birth Relaxation KitJeremy Dyen and Mavi Gupta, Birth Relaxation Kit, audio and booklet, retail value $79
The only hypnobirthing program by Board Certified Doctor; hypnosis mp3s, scripts, nutrition guide, birth music; less than half the price of most hypnobirth programs.

With all three Birth Relaxation Kitâ„¢ hypnobirthing programs you will overcome anxiety and fear so you can give birth confidently, feeling empowered and relaxed. You can enjoy a shorter, more comfortable and even pain-free birth!

Why Hypnosis For Pregnancy and Childbirth?
We are dedicated to serving moms and moms-to-be seeking an empowered, safe and more comfortable childbirth experience.  We Are On A Mission to empower you with real tools to birth confidently and without fear...And the movement is rapidly growing as thousands and thousands of women are successfully using hypnobirthing and self-hypnosis for birth, pregnancy and motherhood.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
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Simply Natural Pregnancy
Megan Kimmelshue, The Boho Mama, 40 pages, retail value $5.99

Simply Natural Pregnancy is a back-to-basics eBook for mothers who want to "go green" but are overwhelmed and stressed by all the alternatives available. Using concise information, actionable but powerful baby steps, and resources for digging deeper, Simply Natural Pregnancy is a transformative tool for every expectant mother.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
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Stay at Home Yoga
Jennifer Hoffman, Stay at Home Yoga, Every Breath I Take, 3-Month Premium Membership, retail value $23.97

Bundle purchasers will receive three months of unlimited access to four types of yoga classes and all membership bonuses! Your physical alignment plays a vital role in your pregnancy, labor and delivery, but very few prenatal exercise programs teach moms to restore healthy alignment. Each Stay-at-Home Yoga class is designed to provide you with both information and exercises to restore natural alignment, reduce pregnancy aches and pains and prepare you for a natural birth.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
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Parenting the Early Years

The Colic Solution
Nicolette Roux, Powerful Mothering, 29 pages, value $9.95
The colic solution is an ebook to help new mothers with colic symptoms in their babies. I have detailed my experience with colic three times over, and given examples for what to look out for and how to start applying some tried and tested relief methods.

Every baby is different, unique, not one solution will work for every baby. That is why my ebook has many suggestions, angles of approach and views. One WILL work for your baby!

You will sleep again and you will be able to finely drink that cup of HOT tea or coffee that has been eluding you for weeks! There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Buy the Parenting the Early Years Module
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Twin Manibreasto: A Success Story of Milk and Multiples
Mercedes R. Donis, Project Procrastinot, 54 pages, retail value $6.99

A first time mom reflects on her journey of breastfeeding twins.Don't  judge your entire experience based on the first three months,� she cautions, as she shares the challenges faced during the "fourth trimester" and beyond. Part memoir, part manual, Mercedes shares her story as well as suggestions on what gear to buy (and what to skip), recipes, links for further reading and a printable feeding log. Topics include: positions for tandem feeding twins, pumping and milk supply, and scheduling feeds vs. feeding on-demand.
Buy the Parenting the Early Years Module
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Oxytocin Parenting - Womb through the Terrible Twos.
Susan Kuchinskas and Bryan Post, The Post Institute, retail value $0.99

Did you know that a child's ability to love and connect is shaped after birth? The way you parent your child actually influences the way her brain cells wire together to form the circuits she'll use in social situations throughout her life.

A key to forming healthy relationships is the oxytocin response. Oxytocin is naturally released inside the brain when we feel safe and can open to intimacy and connection. The oxytocin response probably begins to develop in the womb, is influenced by the birthing process and then continues to develop in the first three years of life. It's shaped by the love and care a baby gets in this period.

This book is valuable reading no matter how old your child is. Parenting understanding of oxytocin and advice for all ages (works with spouses too!).
Buy the Parenting the Early Years Module
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The Natural Parent's Guide to Babywearing.
Lauren Wayne, Hobo Mama, 154 pages, retail value $11.97

Babywearing gives you a convenient way to carry along a little one, keeping your child engaged while allowing you as the parent or caregiver to continue with the routines of life - walking, using your hands for tasks, and even breastfeeding while keeping your child secure.

This book is a Babywearing 101 class, giving an introductory overview of babywearing, along with troubleshooting ideas for special circumstances. We'll talk about the benefits of babywearing, types of common carriers, how to babywear safely, pictorial how-tos for how to tie and wrap the most popular carriers, tutorials for making your own carrier, and a list of helpful resources for information and support on your babywearing journey.
Buy the Parenting the Early Years Module
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What Not to Say - Tools for Talking with Young Children
Sarah MacLaughlin, Sarah MacLaughlin, LSW, 96 pages, value $12
Whether parent, teacher, grandparent, or nanny, this book will help you see the importance of not only your role as parent or caregiver, but the relationship, too. Changes in your approach, words, and tone can have lasting beneficial effects in your relationship with a child and on that child's behavior as well.
Buy the Parenting the Early Years Module
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JUNO Magazine
Juno Magazine (e-magazine), 1-year subscription: 4 issues, retail value $24.74

JUNO promotes a natural approach to family life that inspires and supports parents as they journey through the challenges of parenting. We have an ethos based on conscious parenting, sustainability, social justice, non-violence and a commitment to personal growth and spiritual awareness and share fresh perspectives in this fast-paced technological world, creating a non-judgemental community for those who are keen to follow "a natural approach to family life."
Buy the Parenting the Early Years Module
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Child Development

Reaching for the Moon
Lucy Pearce, The Happy Womb, 82 pages, value $3.99

Written for girls aged 9-14 introducing them to the menstrual cycle in simple, soulful language, taking the form of a gentle, meaningful initiation into womanhood.
Reaching for the Moon incorporates stories, real womens' experiences of their first periods, and answers girls' most burning practical questions about periods and their bodies in a loving, age-appropriate way. This is the guide that empowered and caring mothers, aunts and godmothers want for the girls in their lives.
Buy the Child Development Module
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How Children's Emotions Work
Hand in Hand Parenting, retail value $7

Your child has a vital need to connect with you. This booklet helps you understand your child's emotional life, and how you can best fill his needs.
Buy the Child Development Module
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Why Does He Do That? A Parent's Guide to ASD
Stella Waterhouse, stellawaterhouse.com, 32 pages, retail value $3.23

This book looks at the difficulties children with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) have including lesser known problems such as sensory problems to anxiety and explores the effects these can have.
Buy the Child Development Module
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Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers
 Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, Post Hypnotic Press, audiobook (13 hrs 42 mins), retail value $26
A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children. A phenomenon they term peer orientation, it refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. Peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident - as do the solutions, none of which are impossible or even costly to undertake.
Buy the Child Development Module
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The Drama Years: Real Girls Talk About Surviving Middle School - Bullies, Brands, Body Image, and More
Haley Kilpatrick, Post Hypnotic Press, audiobook, retail value $16; 6 hrs 39 mins

"The Drama Years is a great overall primer for anyone with a young teen girl in there life. And the girls will love it too! I will highly recommend it to the parents, teachers, and girls I work with." (Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes)

The Drama Years is the definitive guide to the pressures that middle school girls experience every day. Speaking to parents of both middle school girls and high school girls alike (and the girls themselves), it is packed with the voices of middle school girls, who share their experiences, anecdotes and thoughts on everything from stress to body image, from frenemies to getting along with parents. Throughout the book, high school mentors share their own similar experiences and offer parents advice for how to help their girls survive this tricky time.
Buy the Child Development Module
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Gender Neutral Parenting: Raising kids with the freedom to be themselves
Paige Lucas Stannard, Parenting Gently, 134 pages, retail value $9.99


Our culture has strict rules for acceptable behavior for men and women. But what about kids who fall outside the boundaries of prescribed roles? This book is a guide for parents in the practical application of Gender Neutral Parenting - a parenting style based on respect for a child's self-identity and providing latitude in exploring their own version of gender and gender expressions.
Buy the Child Development Module
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Mindful Guidance


Positive Parenting in Action
Rebecca Eanes & Laura Ling, Positive Parents, 180 pages, value $7.49
There is an abundance of resources available which tell parents why traditional parenting practices are not optimal, but few help parents learn what to do in place of traditional practices. In this book, we'll discuss the principles of positive parenting, and then we will go through more than 40 scenarios to show you what it looks like when these principles are put into action.
Buy the Mindful Guidance Module
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection


Setting Limits with Young Children
Hand in Hand Parenting, 26 pages, retail value $7

What do you do when your child acts out? How do you tell a child "No" without triggering a power struggle? This booklet teaches you to set healthy boundaries, interact with both warmth and authority and create cooperation and closeness.
Buy the Mindful Guidance Module
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection


The ABCs of Conscious Parenting
Lori Petro, TEACH through Love, 47 pages + audio download, retail value $68

Create a stronger relationship with your kids by changing the way you speak. Lori Petro will show you how to create peace in your home without sacrificing your influence.
Buy the Mindful Guidance Module
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Raising Mindful Kids
Yvonne Woloszanskyj, Mindful Parenting Skills, 13 pages, retail value $27

Discover The Physical, Emotional & Spiritual Needs Your Child Has And How To Quench Their Thirst In Today's Society, A Guide To Developing And Nurturing Mindfulness In Children
Buy the Mindful Guidance Module
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Parenting Softly
Bryan Post, Post Institute, 44 pages, retail value: $9.95

Simple guidance for developing healthy attachments with your child from conception to age two, for raising a child who laughs lots, loves big, and learns exceptionally.

Taking a look at raising your baby from a neurological point of view, Bryan Post's latest book will help by providing parents with what he calls "seven gifts of parenting softly." It is guaranteed to provide insights you may have never considered.  A perfect gift for new or expecting parents!
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A Survival Guide. Positive Parenting for Children with ASD
Stella Waterhouse, stellawaterhouse.com, 35 pages, retail value $4.16

Following on from 'Why Does He Do That?', A Survival Guide suggests relatively simple ideas that, although they do not offer a 'quick fix' or a miracle cure, are easily implemented and can be very effective.
Buy the Mindful Guidance Module
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Keep Your Cool - How to Stop Yelling, Spanking and Punishing: What to Do Instead
Flo Gascon, 157 pages, retail value $25

Your kids are your pride and joy, but sometimes conflict arises and it can be overwhelming. You lose your temper when you don't mean to. In this guide, I break down an interaction into 5 manageable pieces, making your issues easier to define and act upon effectively. There is not a one-fits-all solution, so you have opportunity to customize your Cool Down and Help Strategy. This is about knowing your individual triggers and your individual child and getting on a path to a strong and peaceful relationship.
Buy the Mindful Guidance Module
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Resources for Parents

The Sane Parenting Challenge
Amy Phoenix, Presence Parenting, 6-week eCourse, retail value $50

Parenting kind of crazy? The Sane Parenting Challenge is a six week journey to transform how you respond when parenting feels intense. Each week you are invited to incorporate a simple, yet effective practice into your life to gradually begin choosing your response when parenting feels crazy so you can experience more ease - and still keep the joyful crazy parts that only parents can understand.
Buy the Resources for Parents Module
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The Transgender Child

Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper, Post Hypnotic Press, audiobook: 8 hrs 11 mins, narrated by Michael Puttonen, retail value $20

"This beautifully written, meticulously well-researched book is a godsend for parents and professionals in search of clear, reliable, and up-to-date information about all facets of parenting and caring for transgender children. Combining real life experience with the latest research, Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper have written an indispensable guide that will save lives and empower families to ensure that transgender children receive the love and support they need to thrive." — Shannon Price Minter, Legal Director, National Center for Lesbian Rights
Buy the Resources for Parents Module
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Liberation Parenting Program
Teresa Graham Brett, Parenting for Social Change, 131 pages plus 2+ hours of audio, retail value $47

The Liberation Parenting Program is a multimedia e-course that helps parents to do the inner work needed to move through blocks that keep them from sustaining relationships with children that are grounded in trust, respect, and freedom. Using tools for transformative learning, parents will experience greater wholeness and connection for themselves and support the children in their lives to do the same.
Buy the Resources for Parents Module
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Calm Authority for Fathers Marcy Axness, Parenting for Peace, audio coaching session, retail value $19.95

Parenting can blindside us when it pushes our buttons from how we were treated as a child. "Calm Authority for Fathers" is an easy, relaxing way to harness the latest scientific finding: the more you can make sense of your own past, the healthier and more successful you child will be! The bonus: It cultivates an inner calm and self-possession that's essential for effective parenting, and that makes most discipline issues evaporate before they ever appear.
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Embracing a Child-Centered Divorce: Because You Love Your ChildrenRosalind Sedacca, Child-Centered Divorce, retail value $9.99

As a Divorce and Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, Rosalind Sedacca shares valuable advice, tips and insights for divorced parents on helping children cope with divorce and transition after divorce with the best possible outcome. She helps parents understand the emotional effects of divorce on children and how to protect their children from hurt, anxiety and long-term damaging consequences. Learn how to co-parent more effectively and become aware of your child's needs at differing ages and stages during and after divorce.
Buy the Resources for Parents Module
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12 Steps To A More Natural Family Home
Emma Weatherall, So Natural Baby, 15 pages, retail value $8.17

Many of the materials used in household items can leach chemicals into the air that we breathe and onto our children's delicate skin, causing problems and health issues that can affect your family's quality of life. This eBook will help you identify the 'nasties' in your home and give you ideas on what you can easily do to replace them or reduce their effects.
Buy the Resources for Parents Module
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Free gifts with purchase - exclusive to the Full Essential Parenting Collection


Gentle Parenting Coloring Pages
Hugo Smits, retail value $2.99
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection


Conscious Communication
Lori Petro, TEACH through Love, 17 pages, retail value $20
Mindful Mondays: A collection of language examples exploring everyday parenting challenges using the process of compassionate communication
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection


HighSelfEsteemKids
Dr. Joe Rubino, highselfesteemkids, audio, retail value $147
Learn the tools to champion children to build soaring self-esteem as a Certified Coach in Self-Esteem Elevation for Children.
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection

Mama is Having a Baby - A Journey to Tandem Breastfeeding
Joni Rae Latham, Tales of a Kitchen Witch, coloring book, 15 pages, retail value $3.99
This is a 15-page coloring book with line drawings by Joni Rae Latham. The drawings depict a story done in coloring pictures of a nursing toddler who still spends much of his/her day breastfeeding, and the new baby that is suddenly in the house.
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection





*This post contains affiliate links.

A Parenting Collection You Don't Want to Miss!

I'm thrilled to announce the newest offering from my affiliate partner Mindful Nurturing!


Mindful Nurturing's Essential Parenting Collection contains 35 eProducts on the topics of Pregnancy and Birth, Parenting the Early Years, Child Development, Mindful Guidance, and Resources for Parents. It includes coloring books, eCourses, eBooks, Audiobooks, Workshops, online yoga courses and more.

Unlike other eProduct bundle sales, this one will be around awhile to give you time to absorb the incredible scope of the resources and learn more about them from me over the course of the sale.
Response to this new take on the bundle concept has been massive, and we've been able to get huge names to contribute, including Teresa Graham Brett, Brian Post, Jennifer Margulis, Gabor Mate, Gordon Neufeld, Lori Petro, and many more.

Some of the titles in this collection will make your world shake: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers, What Not to Say - Tools for Talking with Young Children, Parenting Softly, Positive Parenting in Action, Positive Parenting for Children with ADD, and more!

This bundle truly is an essential collection!

The full collection will be available starting Monday, February 10, for $49.97, a fraction of the more than $740 total retail value.

Topical mini-bundles will be available at $19.97 for those who're only looking for specific information.

Be sure to check my Facebook page on Monday, February 10th for your link to buy! 

Newbie's Guide Book Sale through February 2014

Who doesn't love a good sale?

The paperback book is on sale for $3.99.  Go HERE to get it now. (If it isn't showing the sale price yet, please give it a day or so and check back. It takes time for the price change to take effect, and I'm not told how long that will take.)

The Kindle version is on sale for $1.99. Go HERE for that.

The PDF version is on sale for $1.99. Go HERE to get the PDF.

The sale ends on February 28, 2014.

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About The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting:

 Do you want to create a more positive and peaceful home? Are you tired of parenting formulas and techniques that just don't work and leave you feeling at odds with your child?

Learn the 5 principles of positive parenting and discover how to bring connection and peace back into your relationship with your child. You'll learn a new way in which to relate to your child, one which fosters connection rather than disconnection, respect rather than rebellion, and cultivates a healthy relationship which you can enjoy throughout the years. 
This is what you're getting:

TABLE OF CONTENTS　
Introduction
One: What is Positive Parenting
Two: This is Not Permissive Parenting
Three: Changing Your Mindset
Four: Self-Regulation-Peace Starts With You
Five: Leader of the Pack
Six: Building a Positive Self-Concept
Seven: The Power of the Tongue
Eight: Teaching Tools
Nine: Consequences and Problem-Solving
Ten: Limit Enforcement Versus Punishment
Eleven: 10 Alternatives to Punishments
Twelve: 10 Things That Are More Important Than Discipline
Thirteen: Bring It Home
Fourteen: Change the World
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Take a moment to visit these charities:

Orphan Outreach
Compassion International
ASPCA

5 Steps to Stop Yelling

Yelling is nothing more than a habit, and habits can be broken. Here are 5 steps to breaking the yelling habit and bringing peace to your home.

1. Admit and accept that you have a problem. Acknowledging that you have a habit you'd like to break is vital. Think about the ways the habit interferes in your relationships, affects your stress levels, and impacts your children. Ask yourself: Why is this habit bad? What things or people are keeping me from breaking this habit? What are my triggers? What can I do about them?

2. Change your environment. Once you have identified triggers, you can begin to change your environment to get rid of those triggers. If clutter and mess is a trigger, make a tidy organization system with labeled bins. If getting out of the door in the morning is a trigger, set out clothes the night before, make a chart for your child to follow so the routine goes more smoothly, pack lunches and backpacks the night before as well, or get up 30 minutes earlier. If you find yourself constantly yelling at your toddler for getting into a cabinet or climbing on a shelf, child lock the cabinet and move the shelf.

You can also positively impact your environment to uplift your mood with pleasant smells, sights, and sounds. A delicious candle, upbeat music, and a vase of beautiful flowers can go a long way!

3. Create barriers to the habit. Get a support group for yourself. We have one here. Also involve your family members to hold you accountable. Pay up. Use the same rationale behind a swear jar: every time you yell, put a dollar (or more) in a can or jar. Set an amount that you'll hate to cough up whenever you give into the urge, and stick to it. When you've successfully kicked the habit, spend the money on a reward or donate it to a charitable cause. Take a picture of your mad yelling face and keep it on your camera roll on your phone. Look at it when you want to yell. If your reason for avoiding the habit is more pressing than your desire to engage in it, the behavior will become continually easier to avoid.

4. Find a replacement habit. Utilize some of these tips at the time you feel like yelling. If you do it consistently, each time you want to yell, your replacement will become your new habit.
a) Whisper
b) Do push ups
c) Sit down and cup your mouth.
d) Pray
e) Clap
f) Go outside
g) Hug
h) Look a picture of your child as an infant
i) Tap the inner corner of your eyebrows.
j) 4-7-8 breaths. Breath in for a count of 4, hold for 7, breath out for 8. Repeat 3 times.

5. Be kind to yourself. Changing a habit can sometimes take awhile. As long as you're trying, you're succeeding. Don't hold yourself to a standard of perfection, but rather to a standard of progression. Celebrate each success, no matter how small. If you fall down, get back up, dust yourself off, and try again. A fall is not a failure unless you don't get back up.

*Modified and adapted from Wiki How's post on How to Break a Habit

Nourish Your Child's Mind with Positive Affirmations (Yell-Free Year Challenge Post #2)

Many adults use daily affirmations to overcome obstacles of insecurity, poor self-esteem, lack of confidence, and more, or to maintain mental well-being and a positive attitude. Positive affirmations can transform our thought life, creating a positive internal dialogue. But what if we didn't wait so long? What if we'd received positive affirmations as children and learned a healthy inner dialogue from the start?


If we give our children daily affirmations now, they will grow up with a healthy internal dialogue and not have to face the challenge of changing their thought patterns in adulthood. Children, like all human beings, need to feel worthy and loved, appreciated and wanted.

I'm not talking about empty praise, but rather seeking out and speaking out all that is good in them. Some affirmations you may want to try are:

You are valuable to us.
You are so loved.
You are going to do great things in this world.
I'm so happy to have you.
We are lucky to have you in our family.
I will always love you, no matter what.
You can do anything you set your mind to.
The world is a better place because you're in it.
Your smile lights up my whole day.
I love to hear you laugh.
Your brother/sister is blessed to have you.
Your kindness and compassion amaze me.
You are a wonderful person.

Did you grow up hearing something like this every day? How would it have made a difference if you had?

You may be wondering what this has to do with the Yell-Free Year Challenge. Children who feel good inside, who have a positive self-concept, are better behaved. If they're behaving better, then you have less need to yell.

Positive affirmations can also be used in moments of frustration to calm you down.

Even though I'm upset right now, I love you so much.

Would you like some ideas to add even more positivity to your home?

1. Start a gratitude journal, and have your children start one, too. Even if they aren't old enough to write, they can tell you what they are grateful for and you can write it in their journal.

2. During the bedtime routine, talk about 3 "roses and thorns" from your day. A rose is something good that happened, and a thorn is something you didn't like. See if you can then find something positive about the thorn. This will help them to look for the positive in every situation. "I fell down today and really hurt my knee, but you got me a Band-Aid and that made me feel really cared for."

3. Get in a habit of saying "Do you know what's great about this?" all throughout your day. It will help you look for the positive and will teach your children to do the same. Having fun playing together? "Do you know what's great about this? We are having so much fun together!" Do you have a sink full of dishes? "Do you know what's great about this? We all ate good today."

4. Drop the agenda and turn up the music. Sometimes, you need to take a break from adult drudgery and just dance with your children. Do it at least once a week. Seriously.

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Did you miss Post #1. Here it is!

Join the Yell-Free Challenge: We have started a private support group for parents on Facebook. Please be advised that all spammers will be deleted from the group. We've already had quite an issue with that.

If you're new to Positive Parenting, we recommend getting The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting, and if you're looking for more concrete examples, Positive Parenting in Action provides you with over 40 scenarios and shows you how to handle them positively and peacefully.

Finally, Laura and I put a lot of time and effort into coordinating all of this. If you'd like to support Positive-parents.org, you may make a donation through the donate button below. All donations are greatly appreciated.




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Yell Free Year Challenge Post #1

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. -Paulo Coelho

If this isn't your first attempt to stop yelling, do not be disheartened. If you've tried and failed before, there is still hope. You can change.

For the first month of our Yell-Free Year Challenge, I would like for you to work on speaking to yourself in a positive voice. Turn off your inner critical voices. For tips on how to silence your inner critic, go here. I want you to say to yourself several times daily - out loud, in the mirror, when you're driving, when you wake up, before bed - "I am capable of change." Be still and meditate on this statement at least once a day, every day, until you feel it's positive impact. This is how you change neural pathways - repetition. For more on brain plasticity, read this.

Take this challenge in small bites. It's overwhelming to think of not yelling for a whole year! You don't have to conquer the whole year today. You just have to conquer today. It may be cliche to say "one day at a time" but really that's all we can do anyway. Just focus on today. We'll focus on tomorrow when it gets here.

The second thing we're going to do to kick off this challenge is to start a journal, and the first thing we are going to record is our observations about our triggers. Each time you feel yourself getting angry and wanting to yell, record in your journal what was happening and what events surrounded this incident that may have contributed to your frustration. Were you sleep deprived? Overwhelmed with your to-do list? Having expectations that were too high? Jot down your feelings as soon as you can and later, when you are alone, think about why this triggers you. When we become aware of our triggers and patterns, we can take steps to prevent our anger from boiling up in the first place.

MONTH ONE STEPS:
1. Silence your inner critic and speak to yourself in a positive voice. When your inner critic tells you that you can't do this, tell it to "STOP!" Repeat "I am capable of change" to silence your inner critic and several times throughout the day. Meditate on that statement.

2. Journal your triggers. Look for patterns and think about why these are triggers for you. Here is an article on deactivating anger triggers.

3.  Lastly, remember to take it one day at time and celebrate your successes! Come and celebrate with us in the support group here.

Try this exercise: Go to your mirror, preferably when you actually are angry and feel like yelling (this is a good time to take a time out and go to your bathroom anyway) and yell into the mirror just like you would yell at your child. Notice your facial expression, your tone, your body language. Is that the parent you want your child to remember? Is that the face of the mom or dad you want to be? Imagine being a small child on the receiving end. (You may need to yell into the mirror without letting sound actually come out to keep from scaring small children. You will still get to see what you look like when you're yelling.) The next time you feel like yelling at your child, remember the mirror.

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We will be discussing Dr. Laura's book Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting throughout the year, so if you'd like to participate in those discussions, you can pick up that book at Amazon here.

If you're new to Positive Parenting, we also recommend getting The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting, and if you're looking for more concrete examples, Positive Parenting in Action provides you with over 40 scenarios and shows you how to handle them positively and peacefully.

**
We have started a private support group for parents on Facebook. Please be advised that all spammers will be deleted from the group. We've already had quite an issue with that.

**
Finally, Laura and I put a lot of time and effort into coordinating all of this. If you'd like to support Positive-parents.org, you may make a donation through the donate button below. All donations are greatly appreciated.

Too Many Voices

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” - Steve Jobs
I don't want to be another voice in your ear telling you that you're screwing this parenting thing up, or even how to do it right, because I don't know what's right for you. 
I wanted to be that voice before. Not the one telling you that you're screwing up, but I wanted to be a voice telling you how to do it right because I believe that love is always, always right. I told myself I was evoking positive change in people's lives. And I was, to some extent. I told myself I was standing up for children's rights. I told myself if people would just listen to this message of gentleness and empathy and compassion, the world would be a much better place for my own children to grow up in.
And it would.
I wrote blog posts and Facebook statuses and books because I wanted to help make families closer, gentler, and more connected.
But somewhere along the way I got so lost. So lost in the sea of opinions. There were too many voices in my head and they were drowning out my own inner voice. Studies show this, experts say that. I tried my best to follow the advice of experts that I admired and trusted, but I got so stressed out about it. Stressed that every wrong move would scar my child for life. Boy, that will suck the joy out of parenting!
If I can be really honest here, after I wrote my books, the pressure felt suffocating. My kids can't act like this in Target! I'm a parenting book author for Pete's sake!  I felt this totally unrealistic pressure that we all needed to be perfect; like everyone was watching us. Which is silly because I'm sure nobody in any public place we ever went knew I wrote a book. But I knew it, and suddenly my kids had to be perfect and I had to be perfect to prove to the world that this really does work.
I became depressed. Like can I please hide in my bed and no one speak to me ever depressed. Because if I get out of bed, I'll screw something up. 
And that's when I quit writing. I quit reading studies and Facebook pages and blog posts. I cleared my head of all the chatter clouding my brain. 
I gave myself permission. Permission to not need permission from anybody else to raise my kids the way I felt they needed to be raised.
Exhale.
That's when I realized that the last thing I want to be is just another voice in anybody's head telling you to do this and not do that. Who needs that? There are enough voices.
All I want to be is a friend. A supporter. An encourager. A builder-upper. Because that's what people really need.
I'd like for you to give yourself permission to not need permission to parent your way as well. Free yourself from the have-to's and better never's and the pressure of it all and just breathe. Enjoy your days. Slow down. Listen to your own voice. Laugh more. Be silly. Don't let the pressure of raising your kids become so much that you don't enjoy your kids. They are gifts. Today is a gift. Unwrap it with joy. <3
Your friend,Becky

Thanksgiving Sale on PDF eBooks!

Through December 1, you can get the PDF versions of our books, The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting and Positive Parenting in Action, for $1.99 each.

That's half off the original price of $3.99!



Do you want to create a more positive and peaceful home? Are you tired of parenting formulas and techniques that just don't work and leave you feeling at odds with your child? Learn the 5 principles of positive parenting and discover how to bring connection and peace back into your relationship with your child. You'll learn a new way in which to relate to your child, one which fosters connection rather than disconnection, respect rather than rebellion, and cultivates a healthy relationship which you can enjoy throughout the years.





 

Parenthood is a beautiful journey. We don't have to become adversaries with our children; doing so is very unnatural to our humanity. We are all wired for connection, for closeness, and for love. Positive parenting frees us to move from the traditional parenting roles which create friction and rebellion and allows us instead to move into a more natural role which creates cooperation and peace. The inevitable conflicts that arise in a relationship no longer define the relationship, but serve as stepping stones to greater understanding and connection.









*Please note these are PDF files for which you will be given the download link upon purchase. We hope you have a blessed Holiday Season.

To download on your iPad or iPhone, download a PDF reader (iPad or iPhone edition) from the app store.

For an android phone, get the Kindle app.

To get the file on your Kindle, email it to your Kindle email address.

**I'm not techy. If you have any trouble with getting the file onto your mobile devices, please Google it, which is the only thing I can do. :) Once the link has been delivered, I am not responsible for getting it onto your devices.**

The Yell-Free Year Challenge

I love the fresh start of a new year! It feels to me to bring hope, promise, and new opportunity.

We here at positive-parents.org and Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond are starting a new community challenge for 2014. We hope you'll join us in taking a vow of yellibacy! I'm really excited about this challenge! No parent wants to be a yeller, but in the commotion and distraction of our daily lives, it seems to creep up on us - the irritation, the short fuse - and we get caught in a cycle. There are ways we can change our responses and teach our brains to access that space between stimulus and response so that we choose a calmer tone, and we're going to spend 2014 learning how to do that together!

Throughout the year, I'll be sharing posts, techniques, and inspiring stories to help us stay on the right path. We're kicking it off a little bit before the new year! Our challenge begins one month from today, on December 22, 2013! I guarantee this will end up being one of the best Christmas gifts we give our families.

To join our community challenge, comment on this post or on our Facebook page announcement post (pinned to the top of our page) that you're taking the Yell-Free Year Challenge.

Subscribe by email to catch all of our Yell-Free Year posts, join us on Facebook, and share this on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+ and anywhere else you can share so others can get involved!
Change starts with us, and what a positive change this will be for us all!

To get you started, print off the peace dove symbol here and place it around your home as a reminder of the challenge. This peace dove will serve as an icon for our Yell-Free Year Challenge.

For more positive change in 2014, may I suggest you also take the Hands Free Challenge! Join Rachel over at Hands Free Mama and scroll through her fabulous blog for a ton of inspiration. Also pick up her book, which I am reading right now. It is life-changing! I will post a full review once I have finished it.

So go ahead, comment below, print off your doves, and let's get ready to change our habits and our homes!