Rebecca Eanes's Blog, page 22
June 10, 2014
Do Consequences Have a Place in Redemption?
In yesterday's post, When I Resorted to Punishments, I discussed redemption versus retribution.
I've discussed consequences several times on this site.
What's the Deal with Consequences?
Consequences that Teach
Alternatives to Spanking
Biggies and Smallies
What's the Deal with Consequences When They're Older?
As I stated in "What's the Deal with Consequences When They're Older?"
So to answer the question of "Do consequences have a place in redemption" the answer is "yes." Sometimes consequences can help redeem the child by righting their wrongs. An example that comes to mind is when my son once wasted a can of compressed air at the bank while I chatted with friends. We problem-solved and he decided to do chores to earn the money to pay for the can. He did the chores and took the money back to the bank. This consequence was something we agreed on mutually as a result of the problem-solving process and didn't harm his self-concept but actually improved it as he felt a sense of responsibility. It taught him that he has the ability to make things right again, and that he is the kind of person who fixes his mistakes. Redeemed.
Another example was given in "What's the Deal With Consequences When They're Older" of a young lady who broke a window with a ball. It was decided that she'd earn the money to pay for the window. Again intent and empathy are keys. A consequence delivered with a harsh or demeaning tone and enforced with grit is going to feel like a punishment, which will focus the child more on his or her feelings of anger or irritation at the parent than on righting his or her's wrongdoing. However, when delivered with empathy, working with the child to fix his or her mistake and maintaining and conveying belief in the child's goodness and ability to make things right, the consequence can aid in redeeming the child.
It's important though to not go straight for the consequence every time your child makes a mistake. It can be easy to get stuck in that rut as it seems to "fix the problem" quickly, but we need to remind ourselves of what I was unable to see in the problem I discussed in yesterday's post, that behavior is communication. Rather than a consequence, the child may need taught a skill or helped with a problem they're dealing with.
Finally, whether a consequence is needed or not, it is invaluable to our children to convey to them our belief in their goodness, in their value, and in their ability to overcome whatever they are dealing with and shine. Our consistent belief in them is how they build a consistent belief in themselves, and that will benefit them for a lifetime.
Redemption: The act of redeeming or the condition of having been redeemed.
Redeemed: To restore the honor, worth, or reputation of:
Retribution: Punishment for doing something wrong
Do I want to seek to restore his honor, worth, and reputation, or do I want to punish him?
The world says children need punishment. I think children need redemption.
They will grow and mature and come to naturally understand how the world works. They will come to understand laws and consequences without being "primed" for them with smaller punishments now. We think if we punish them for little things, they'll want to avoid punishment for the big things later, but that's not really how it works. Punishment highlights their faults. Punishment eats away at their self-concepts. Punishment is retaliation, not teaching.
Redemption restores honor and worth. How do you redeem a wayward child? By highlighting their strengths, not their weaknesses. By shining a spotlight on their rights, not their wrongs. By believing in their goodness and making sure they believe in their goodness. By ensuring that "kind," "helpful," "compassionate," "responsible," and "good" are part of their self-concepts because humans behave according to what they believe of themselves, and children believe of themselves what their parents believe of them.
Correction is necessary, but shining that big light on their mistakes only makes them grow. Correct gently, shining the light always on their decency, listening to the communication of the behavior, and seeking always to redeem them.It's been a popular post, and I'm thankful that the philosophy of positive parenting is reaching so far. There have been some comments after that post about the need for consequences, which I'd like to address today.
I've discussed consequences several times on this site.
What's the Deal with Consequences?
Consequences that Teach
Alternatives to Spanking
Biggies and Smallies
What's the Deal with Consequences When They're Older?
As I stated in "What's the Deal with Consequences When They're Older?"
First, I think it's important to define punishment and consequences.
pun·ish·ment noun \ˈpə-nish-mənt\: suffering, pain, or loss that serves as retribution
Punishment is making your child suffer, experience pain, or experience loss in order to serve as retribution. So, obviously spanking (causing pain), grounding (causing suffering or loss), or taking away toys or privileges (causing loss) are all about one thing, you intend to make the child suffer because of her behavior. The thing about punishment is that "serving as retribution" doesn't last. That's why the majority of offenders who get out of jail repeat an offense. Retribution doesn't really teach us anything valuable. In most cases, it serves to just make us angry and vengeful.
con·se·quence noun \ˈkän(t)-sə-ˌkwen(t)s: something that happens as a result of a particular action or set of conditions
That sounds more helpful, except we have an uncanny knack for turning these into punishments, too. This is where the line gets blurry. I fought with myself over the semantics of consequences and punishments for quite a while, and I came to the conclusion that intent is really what separates the two. There are 2 keys in turning from retribution to teaching: INTENT and EMPATHY.
So to answer the question of "Do consequences have a place in redemption" the answer is "yes." Sometimes consequences can help redeem the child by righting their wrongs. An example that comes to mind is when my son once wasted a can of compressed air at the bank while I chatted with friends. We problem-solved and he decided to do chores to earn the money to pay for the can. He did the chores and took the money back to the bank. This consequence was something we agreed on mutually as a result of the problem-solving process and didn't harm his self-concept but actually improved it as he felt a sense of responsibility. It taught him that he has the ability to make things right again, and that he is the kind of person who fixes his mistakes. Redeemed.
Another example was given in "What's the Deal With Consequences When They're Older" of a young lady who broke a window with a ball. It was decided that she'd earn the money to pay for the window. Again intent and empathy are keys. A consequence delivered with a harsh or demeaning tone and enforced with grit is going to feel like a punishment, which will focus the child more on his or her feelings of anger or irritation at the parent than on righting his or her's wrongdoing. However, when delivered with empathy, working with the child to fix his or her mistake and maintaining and conveying belief in the child's goodness and ability to make things right, the consequence can aid in redeeming the child.
It's important though to not go straight for the consequence every time your child makes a mistake. It can be easy to get stuck in that rut as it seems to "fix the problem" quickly, but we need to remind ourselves of what I was unable to see in the problem I discussed in yesterday's post, that behavior is communication. Rather than a consequence, the child may need taught a skill or helped with a problem they're dealing with.
Finally, whether a consequence is needed or not, it is invaluable to our children to convey to them our belief in their goodness, in their value, and in their ability to overcome whatever they are dealing with and shine. Our consistent belief in them is how they build a consistent belief in themselves, and that will benefit them for a lifetime.
June 9, 2014
When I Resorted to Punishments...
Our waters have been troubled lately. My 5 year old has taken to teasing his highly sensitive brother. There have been daily, seemingly constant hurtful words hurled at my oldest son. Why would he do that? Hadn't I taught him to be kind? To respect others? Was I raising a bully?
Doubts began to creep in my mind. Fear took over. My mother said he needed punished. I began to wonder if maybe she was right. After all, I couldn't let it go on. It was affecting my oldest. I'd talked to him about it. I'd asked him to empathize with his brother. I'd called him out on it every time I heard a put-down and told him it was inappropriate.
Effectively, what I'd done is shone a great big light on it, and it fed off that light. The problem grew.
I began to think maybe he did need punished. I had to protect my oldest son. I had to let my youngest know that he could not hurt people. I was angry and could no longer see this problem through my usual lens, but all I could see was this ugliness rising up in him that needed to be stopped immediately.
Knowing the "natural consequence" of hurting his relationship with his brother apparently didn't mean anything to him, I began taking away the only thing I knew that did. His allowance. Every time he did something "wrong", I told him he lost a dollar off his allowance. I kept a record of it.
-1 for teasing.
-1 for pinching.
-1 for a put-down.
They kept adding up. He was very upset that he was losing money, but it didn't stop the problem. Now he was teasing his brother and really mad at me both. I felt defeated, and I didn't know what else to do. Everyone in the house was now feeling the negative effects of this issue, and the atmosphere here was suffocating.
Then, one morning, I was scrolling my newsfeed and I saw this:
The anger I felt toward my 5 year old dissipated and I was able to see him as a hurting child who needed my help. I'm normally able to do this, but in this particular situation where he was hurting another child of mine, my judgment had become clouded, but suddenly it was clear to me again.
Why? Why was he hurting? When did it start? What caused his feelings? What was he trying to communicate?
I looked at his allowance deduction list. I saw a record of wrongs.
Love keeps no record of wrongs....
I crumpled it up and tossed it in the trash.
REDEMPTION NOT RETRIBUTION
Redemption: The act of redeeming or the condition of having been redeemed. Redeemed: To restore the honor, worth, or reputation of: Retribution: Punishment for doing something wrong
Do I want to seek to restore his honor, worth, and reputation, or do I want to punish him?
The world says children need punishment. I think children need redemption.
They will grow and mature and come to naturally understand how the world works. They will come to understand laws and consequences without being "primed" for them with smaller punishments now. We think if we punish them for little things, they'll want to avoid punishment for the big things later, but that's not really how it works. Punishment highlights their faults. Punishment eats away at their self-concepts. Punishment is retaliation, not teaching.
Redemption restores honor and worth. How do you redeem a wayward child? By highlighting their strengths, not their weaknesses. By shining a spotlight on their rights, not their wrongs. By believing in their goodness and making sure they believe in their goodness. By ensuring that "kind," "helpful," "compassionate," "responsible," and "good" are part of their self-concepts because humans behave according to what they believe of themselves, and children believe of themselves what their parents believe of them.
Correction is necessary, but shining that big light on their mistakes only makes them grow. Correct gently, shining the light always on their decency, listening to the communication of the behavior, and seeking always to redeem them.
I realized my 5 year old was feeling rejected by his brother because he didn't play with him much anymore. We called a family meeting. Both children were heard. A solution was agreed upon. I am now working on repairing our relationship and restoring his honor, worth, and reputation.
Don't wade through troubled waters. Build a bridge. Redemption is the bridge.
Redemption not retribution. Love never fails.
Doubts began to creep in my mind. Fear took over. My mother said he needed punished. I began to wonder if maybe she was right. After all, I couldn't let it go on. It was affecting my oldest. I'd talked to him about it. I'd asked him to empathize with his brother. I'd called him out on it every time I heard a put-down and told him it was inappropriate.
Effectively, what I'd done is shone a great big light on it, and it fed off that light. The problem grew.
I began to think maybe he did need punished. I had to protect my oldest son. I had to let my youngest know that he could not hurt people. I was angry and could no longer see this problem through my usual lens, but all I could see was this ugliness rising up in him that needed to be stopped immediately.
Knowing the "natural consequence" of hurting his relationship with his brother apparently didn't mean anything to him, I began taking away the only thing I knew that did. His allowance. Every time he did something "wrong", I told him he lost a dollar off his allowance. I kept a record of it.
-1 for teasing.
-1 for pinching.
-1 for a put-down.
They kept adding up. He was very upset that he was losing money, but it didn't stop the problem. Now he was teasing his brother and really mad at me both. I felt defeated, and I didn't know what else to do. Everyone in the house was now feeling the negative effects of this issue, and the atmosphere here was suffocating.
Then, one morning, I was scrolling my newsfeed and I saw this:
When our kids say hurtful things, they're hurting.
When our kids lash out, they're hurting.
When our kids resist and rehash, they're hurting.
When our kids get rigid, they're hurting.
When our kids are chaotic, they're hurting
When our kids ignore, pretend, defend and act out, they're hurting.
What if we *started* with the hurting instead of bypassing the hurt in favor of behavior and how to quash it?
How would we see our kids' intention and motivation differently?
How would we treat them differently?
How would they respond differently?
What would we have to change in our own hearts in order to embark on this process?
When the hurt is accessed, the heart heals, the behavior is understood as the symptom, not the cause. - Lu Hanessian Parent2ParentU
The anger I felt toward my 5 year old dissipated and I was able to see him as a hurting child who needed my help. I'm normally able to do this, but in this particular situation where he was hurting another child of mine, my judgment had become clouded, but suddenly it was clear to me again.
Why? Why was he hurting? When did it start? What caused his feelings? What was he trying to communicate?
I looked at his allowance deduction list. I saw a record of wrongs.
Love keeps no record of wrongs....
I crumpled it up and tossed it in the trash.
REDEMPTION NOT RETRIBUTION
Redemption: The act of redeeming or the condition of having been redeemed. Redeemed: To restore the honor, worth, or reputation of: Retribution: Punishment for doing something wrong
Do I want to seek to restore his honor, worth, and reputation, or do I want to punish him?
The world says children need punishment. I think children need redemption.
They will grow and mature and come to naturally understand how the world works. They will come to understand laws and consequences without being "primed" for them with smaller punishments now. We think if we punish them for little things, they'll want to avoid punishment for the big things later, but that's not really how it works. Punishment highlights their faults. Punishment eats away at their self-concepts. Punishment is retaliation, not teaching.
Redemption restores honor and worth. How do you redeem a wayward child? By highlighting their strengths, not their weaknesses. By shining a spotlight on their rights, not their wrongs. By believing in their goodness and making sure they believe in their goodness. By ensuring that "kind," "helpful," "compassionate," "responsible," and "good" are part of their self-concepts because humans behave according to what they believe of themselves, and children believe of themselves what their parents believe of them.
Correction is necessary, but shining that big light on their mistakes only makes them grow. Correct gently, shining the light always on their decency, listening to the communication of the behavior, and seeking always to redeem them.
I realized my 5 year old was feeling rejected by his brother because he didn't play with him much anymore. We called a family meeting. Both children were heard. A solution was agreed upon. I am now working on repairing our relationship and restoring his honor, worth, and reputation.
Don't wade through troubled waters. Build a bridge. Redemption is the bridge.
Redemption not retribution. Love never fails.
May 23, 2014
Montessori Education at Home for Your 3-5 Year Old ($10 Off Code Inside)
I am really excited to be collaborating with Montessori by Mom. If you want to give your child a Montessori education at home, Montessori by Mom offers everything you need to focus on having fun and teaching your kids, not doing research and creating materials. Their main goal is to help you "bring Montessori home." The subscription has everything (video instruction, curriculum, and materials) to make it easy for even someone with no experience to have the benefit of Montessori at home.
The materials they provide are high quality. They are designed to last and be used with all of your kids for years. They also search for beautiful items that engage the imagination.
Each month you get:
Curriculum for 6-8 activitiesVideo instruction for each activityVideo instruction for basic Montessori principlesAll necessary materialsBonus activities and suggested ways to more using a few materials at homeEach box is themed, so your kids will love them. They think it’s fun, and you know it’s learning.
When you subscribe, your first box will include:
- Full Curriculum (that start with simple activities for young children and goes up to 5 or 6)- Video explanation for all the activities (on our website)- A list of bonus activities- A Blue Mat- Small White Tray - 2 Stainless Steel Shell Dishes- 50 Starfish Bead Counters - A Small Seashell Shaped Spoon- A Set of Cards numbered 0-9- A Set of Sandpaper Numbers 0-9- Bag of Small Shells (real ones)- 8 Real Shells (including a star fish, clam shell, and more)
I'm happy to offer you a discount of $10 off your first month!! Just subscribe here and use the code AFFBEPP.
Watch this video by Montessori by Mom to see the materials and an explanation of some of the activities.
Right now, they only offer a subscription for the 3-5 age range, but they hope to expand that as their business grows!
Everything is created by two teachers running a small business. They really did start Montessori By Mom to help parents and make Montessori more accessible for everyone!
Inspiring Stories of These Kids Today - Part 3
We hear it all the time! Kids today are bratty, entitled, and disrespectful.
I want to debunk this common myth about today's youth. Sure, there are a few disrespectful, bratty, and entitled kids out there, but a great many of them are wonderful! I've had stories pour in from all across the globe and I want to share with you today just a few of the inspiring and beautiful hearts of "these kids today."
I have two sons - Maison, who is almost 4, and Zachary, who just turned 2. Maison from the start has been an incredible big brother who continues to make me proud! The moment that I am sharing really touched my heart. I brought the boys to Chuckee Cheese where they have an indoor play tunnel connected to the ceiling. You have to climb all the way up which for an incredible tiny two is a HUGE deal. Maison bustling through climbed up with the speed and agility of a powerful three. When he got to the top he called out for Zach. Zach yelled, "Down here!" Maison climbed back down where he saw Zachary struggle. He then proceeded to tell Zach, "Ok, bubba I will help you". He lifted Zach up each level all the way to the top 3 or 4 times. No questions asked and with joy in his heart. Finally, Zach could do it "by self" as he says. Maison smiled and called over to me, "Mom, he can do it! Yay!". You see this was something so little, yet the smallest things are what make the biggest difference. Taking the few extra steps can make a world of difference to one person. I hope Maison continues to be the person to take those extra steps. The world needs more of those. Zach and I are lucky we get to keep him. - Samantha
My niece recently turned 7 years old. For her birthday this year she asked that instead of presents for her this year, people donate money to Princess Margaret Children's Hospital in the name of her older sister who died 18months ago. She is also about to cut her hair very short so that she can donate it for a child's wig She hopes other kids don't have to know what it's like to lose a sibling. - Kirsty L***
Yesterday my 12 year old son walked a couple of my 7 year old daughter's little friends home. There were two girls and they only had one bike, so my son let them use a second bike he had. Then he realized he couldn't get two bikes back. A teenage boy walked him home and carried the bike for him. - Gina J***
When our youngest was 14, he and his best friend waited for an elderly woman neighbor to leave her house and then swooped in to clear her driveway and walkway from piles of snow. They came in so excited and watched her return peeking out from behind our curtains. She never knew who did this, but what struck me was their absolute delight. He still is a very thoughtful, helpful and kind person. - Cornelia S***
My three-year-old, Audrey, is the most loving and compassionate little person I've ever known. When she was 18 months old a little girl on the playground fell and hurt herself. Audrey heard the little girl crying and walked across the playground to comfort the little girl and make sure she was okay.***
Fast forward to present day, last week we were going through a drive-thru and she was saying "hi!" to the workers in the windows, making them smile. As we drove away she says to me, "I love, love, love people!"
She is teaching me to be a better person every day. I love her heart. I'm one proud mommy! - Melissa F
Small thing but I saw your post on fb. My son, when given the choice to return duplicate presents from his birthday party to buy something else or give it to children who don't have as much, he insisted on giving it to children who don't have as much. He is four. Got the idea from friends who have a six year old and did the same thing.***
My four year old also, on his own accord, asked to make a thank you note for his teachers who stayed on the playground longer when he got there late so he could have some play time. He said "that was so nice of them".
I have also observed his friends coming over to give him hugs when he's crying. One of his friends told his mom he was worried about my son when my son had to leave school early because of an injury.
I see it all the time. Thanks for doing the blog! - Christina B
I love this idea and want to share a little story of my 2 year old daughter. We've recently had a baby boy and so her life has been turned upside down, but she's still so generous. I took her out for a mummy-daughter date to the coffee shop whilst her brother slept. I bought one piece of cake to share with her, but she decided she wanted to give her bit to her daddy. She loves cake so this was very special. <3***
Looking forward to reading all the other stories.
Rebecca
***
My 5-year-old son received $20 for Easter from his grandparents. He was planning all the things he would buy with it then he thought for a minute and said "Mom, you know what? I don't think I need all that money. I would like to give some of it away to help people." So we did!
My 3-year-old daughter always runs out of holiday candy quickly (Halloween, Christmas, Easter, etc.) because she is so busy giving it away. She remembers people's favorite candies, too, and makes a special effort to give it to them from her stash.
We have never forced or incentivized them to give or share....we just talk about how good it feels to give and how they feel when someone shares with them. - Sara L
My son Brayson is 2.5 yrs old. A few weeks ago we were in Walmart standing in line to pay. Behind us was a lady with a little girl who I believe was struggling financially. The little girl was crying asking for something and I overheard the woman say "No not today we can't afford it". As I paid for my items, my son kept staring at the little girl with a deep look of concern on his face. He reached for me to pick him up and pointed at the little girl. He gave her his balloon I had bought for him and said "Here baby don't cry". The little girl smiled from ear to ear and said thank you. I was so touched I couldn't help but cry. So very proud of my little boy. We went for ice cream after that :) -Jamie***
A few weeks ago I made dinner, and Laila, who usually eats everything in sight, refused every bite that I offered her. The foods I had made that night were all foods that she really enjoys, so Eder decided to just force feed her one bite. He thought that if she just ate the one bite, she’d eat the rest. The food didn’t even make it past her teeth before she was gagging and crying. I told Eder to let her down and when she was hungry, she’d tell us. I fully expected her to run off and play with her toys while we ate. Instead she walked over to my plate and picked up a green bean. Haha Eder! Gentle parenting works! She just wanted to feed herself! To my surprise, she put the green bean in my mouth! She fed me one green bean after the other, then potatoes, and then little bites of fish. Once the larger portion of the plate was gone, she fed herself the rest.
I was so touched by this little act of kindness. Laila had seen me taking care of her, and this time she wanted to take care of me! - Mary M.
***
I have a very hyper boy (7) and he always has been. I consider it just him being a boy. I used to be a very punitive parent because I bought into the idea that children must be perfect and behave and stay still and silent. Once I checked myself, I noticed a lot more of my son's natural wonderful qualities. He's empathetic, helpful, kind, shows initiative, imaginative, and many more. He is the first one to rush to anyone who has tripped or is crying to find out how he can help. Today, he carried his sister by piggy back for almost a mile during our 3 mile walk. Once we got to our destination, we met a little boy (5 years old) whose mother was busy talking with her friend, so my son played with him. When the little boy needed to go to the bathroom, his mom got frustrated with him, brought him to the bathroom and left him there because her other child was crying. I saw my son go to check on his new friend and said he helped him wash his hands because he couldn't reach the sink. I can only imagine my son giving this boy a boost to reach the faucet. When we got home, he said he wanted to take a bath and he washed the tub all by himself the way he saw me do it he said. I was surprised by his initiative. When I went to check, the tub was really shiny!***
Also, my 3 year old heard me talking to her younger brother about changing his diaper, and she went to get the diaper and butt paste and brought them to me! I didn't even ask her! She saw what I was doing and observed from previous diaper changes what I use, and she brought them to me. - Maranela B
My almost 4 year old son, thanks to the efforts of positive parenting, is probably more emotionally mature than I am.
I grew up horribly emotionally and mentally abused by my father. I have been in therapy for 10 years and I struggle with severe depression and postpartum depression and possibly adult ADHD. I suffer from confusion with feelings of anger, self-hatred, and sorrow. We have really made the commitment to positive parenting and emotional development in our children so that they do not have to ever suffer the way that I did.
Today, I started to digress into a place of anger and was a little aggressive with my words towards my husband about house organization and tidiness. Something mediocre, not requiring my agitation. However, because I was descending into that angry place, my son came to me and put his hands on my stomach in a loving way and said, "Mom, mommy...everything's going to be okay" and he smiled.
It makes me cry to think that he has the emotional maturity and strength to help his damaged mommy heal herself of years of tragedy. Needless to say, I was able to put myself back into a calmer place.
I encourage people to understand that emotional development in children does not manifest into "entitlement" or "brattiness." It helps them learn to collaborate, stay calm in the face of adversity, and give strength to those around them. It is about balance; it is about connecting with them at many moments so that they do need to "act out" to garner attention. It is understanding that they, too, are human and that they have wants and needs. And why is it we teach our children that they cannot ever have what they want? Why do we insist on teaching them a circular argument of going after what they want yet when they want it, we deny them consistently? Collaboration, limitations, and connection help to create assertive children who respect others and respect themselves.
I realise this is really harder said than done... that mistakes get made and we try to remedy those mistakes in the best way we can. I certainly am not perfect by any means. That said, my son makes great strides to remind me that everything will be okay.
Melanie T.
May 12, 2014
Jesus, the Gentle Parent - A Review and a Big Giveaway!
There are many Christian parenting books out there which condone and even advise harsh treatment of children based off proof-texting a few select Scriptures. Such books written by the Pearls, Ezzo, Dobson, Williams, and Tripp have dangerous messages which have led to deadly outcomes.
"A parent must recognize and see clearly that Biblically beating his child sensitizes that child not only to the fact of sin but also to its ugliness. In addition, the child will see that the penalty must always be paid when we sin...The one who does not Biblically beat his child, in a loving and consistent way, in a very real sense predisposes that child for hell and even has a very direct part in sending him there." (Ronald E. Williams, The Correction and Salvation of Children)
L.R. Knost challenges the views and beliefs of these popular Christian authors by breaking down the very Scriptures they use to support such harsh treatment of children to the original text. By looking at the original text and their meanings, we can clearly see there is no foundation whatsoever for the rigid, harsh treatment of God's gifts to us.
In Jesus, the Gentle Parent, Knost beautifully illustrates the heart of the Father. She gently points readers' eyes directly to where Christian eyes should be fixed, the Cross - the Cross, where we all received the gift of an undeserving grace and an unconditional love which our children should not be deprived of. Jesus paid the penalty for our sin, yet self-proclaimed experts like Williams maintain that the smallest of us must continue to pay the penalty for theirs.
"Grace is the point. The whole point. Everything leading up to the Cross pointed to the Cross, everything was settled on the Cross, and on the cross,in the outstretched arms of Jesus is where grace was born. (L.R. Knost)
This book, however, is not just a book which discusses Christian theology, but is a practical guide for parenting children from infancy to adolescence. Newborns, toddlers, preschoolers, middle childhood, and teens and beyond are all addressed by the author as she explains how to parent our little ones responsively, consciously, and with a compassionate heart in each age and stage.
The Discussion Questions and Points to Ponder near the end of the book are invaluable as they implore us to look inside ourselves to see what our true beliefs are and where we acquired our beliefs, and more importantly to seek God for wisdom in our parenting choices. She doesn't expect you to take her word blindly but to seek counsel from the Creator.
Jesus, the Gentle Parent is a breath of fresh air for Christian parents. It is a paradigm-changing resource that I recommend to every parent who wants to show their children the heart of our God. Lay down your rod and pick up your child in loving arms as you gently point them to the Cross. One of the chapters is titled "Grace has a Face." I love that, because it's true. Jesus is the face of grace, but to little children, the face of grace is you.
***
Look for Jesus, the Gentle Parent on Amazon in paperback or Kindle and at other retailers.
****
I'VE TEAMED UP WITH L.R. KNOST TO DO A HUGE GIVEAWAY!
We are giving away 3 of L.R. Knost's books to lucky Facebook fans! Here's what's up for grabs!
Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages (A Little Hearts Handbook)Gentle Parenting is about guiding instead of controlling, connecting instead of punishing, encouraging instead of demanding. It's about listening, understanding, responding, and communicating. Written by children's book and parenting author, L.R.Knost, 'Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages' is an introduction to the ideas behind gentle parenting and to its application in each of the developmental stages of childhood.
Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood (A Little Hearts Handbook)Communication is the key to peaceful, effective interactions between parents and children. When normal childhood behavior is viewed as normal instead of something to be corrected and controlled, communication creates the bridge to developmentally appropriate growth, maturity, and independence. Written by best-selling parenting and children's book author and mother of six, L.R.Knost, 'Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood' is a rethinking of mainstream parenting's perception of normal childhood behaviors coupled with simple, practical approaches to parent/child communication at each stage of development from tots to teens.
Petey's Listening Ears
In this first release in L.R.Knost's Wisdom For Little Hearts children's picture book series, lovable little Petey and his furry friend, Beans, are having a difficult day until Petey’s mommy and daddy step in with some gentle guidance and help him remember to turn his ‘Listening Ears’ on, turning his very bad day into a very good one! The Wisdom For Little Hearts series is designed as a tool for parents, teachers, and caregivers to use in implementing Gentle Parenting techniques in their homes and schools. Concrete imagery and positive discipline techniques woven into humorous, engaging stories make the Wisdom For Little Hearts series ideal for children ages two to six.
RULES TO ENTER
To enter to win one of these fantastic books, simply go to my Facebook page where this post will be pinned to the top of the page. Find it, share it, and leave a comment that you have shared. Three winners will be chosen at random at the end of the giveaway.GIVEAWAY ENDS May 15, 2014 at midnight EST. Check the Facebook post for the announcement of the winners. It will stay pinned to the top until then.
L.R.Knost/Parenting and Children's Book AuthorWebsite: http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/littleheartsbooks
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/lrknost/
Twitter: LRKnost_Author
May 9, 2014
Mother's Day Kindle Sale
Friday, May 9th through Sunday, May 11, enjoy a huge savings on our Kindle eBooks.
About the Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting:
The relationships we build with our children last a lifetime. Ultimately, love is the only leverage we have with our kids. Fear-based parenting only works as long as it can be physically or emotionally enforced, but love is a more effective motivator over time. Through being kind and firm, consistent and empathetic, we allow our children optimal development. When the child-rearing is done, the loving bond you have built is what will make your relationship with your adult child fruitful and enjoyable. Positive parenting keeps that relationship intact while teaching and guiding your child to his or her fullest potential.
What people are saying:
This book is great! It has a wonderful layout, provides relatable examples of problems all parents go through at least once with a child and it explains what to say and how to say it. I encourage everyone from new parents to seasoned veterans to read this book, it will give you positive ways to turn conflict into better outcomes.
The chapters range from explaining what positive parenting is, changing your mindset, teaching tools, and changing the world. If you are in the trenches of parenthood and the old way doesn't feel right, I encourage you to purchase this book and learn from it. - Stephanie R.
If you want an easy-to-read primer on unconditional parenting - this is a great place to start. It outlines the principles for shifting your mindset from punitive parenting to parenting with connection in simple terms. The ten tools for putting it all into practice are proactive and are changes that any family can easily implement. A plus is the real-life examples with sample language to help you change your approach in word, tone and attitude. Great primer for anyone looking to learn more about respectful relationships with children. - Lori Petro, TEACH Through Love
I think this book is wonderful! It is a great blend of philosophy, with practical tips for how to apply the principles. I love some of the cute ideas you have in there! You phrased it so beautifully...that children are often punished for being human and are held to an ideal that we ourselves cannot attain. You have packed a lot of great info into this book. Highly recommend! - ConsciousParents.org
Get your 99¢ copy here.
About Positive Parenting in Action:
Parenthood is a beautiful journey. We don't have to become adversaries with our children; doing so is very unnatural to our humanity. We are all wired for connection, for closeness, and for love. Positive parenting frees us to move from the traditional parenting roles which create friction and rebellion and allows us instead to move into a more natural role which creates cooperation and peace. The inevitable conflicts that arise in a relationship no longer define the relationship, but serve as stepping stones to greater understanding and connection.
There is an abundance of resources available which tell parents why traditional parenting practices are not optimal, but few help parents learn what to do in place of traditional practices. In this book, we'll discuss the principles of positive parenting, and then we will go through more than 40 scenarios to show you what it looks like when these principles are put into action.
What people are saying:
"This new book educates parents with real life scenarios, showing simply and accessibly how to put positive parenting into action in daily life. The user-friendly format takes daily scenarios that stump even seasoned parents, tells us what's going on in the child to cause the behavior, and recommends specific parenting interventions to get the child back on track. Divided into sections like Nighttime, Potty Learning, Hitting and Whining, it addresses all the usual challenges of life with young children." - Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
Was lucky enough to find this book at the recommendation of a Montessori teacher. My daughter went from having 5 tempter tantrums a day (3 years old) to just one a month to one in six months. It changed how I view consequences and development of my very normal daughter. I had originally thought she was feisty and out of control but learned she was just frustrated and once I learned to hear her story better, she calmed right down and became a very easy child. SO grateful to the ladies who wrote this book! - Heather H.
Sometimes a parent can become completely lost on their parenting journey.
There are many so called "experts" who base their theories on traditional methods of parenting.
As an Early Years professional and parent, I was overjoyed to have found a book explaining how we can interact with our children to encourage positive behaviour and be the positive parent that we strive to be. This book is about giving our children the life skills they need for the future.
When life becomes very busy, our little ones can be overlooked. This book helps me stop, slow down and reconnect with my little ones as well as explaining how we can interact with our children in a positive manner.
Thank you for writing this!!! My children are incredibly happy - most of the time. - A. Leenheer
Get your 99¢ copy here.
Inspiring Stories of "These Kids Today" - Part 2
We hear it all the time! Kids today are bratty, entitled, and disrespectful.
I want to debunk this common myth about today's youth. Sure, there are a few disrespectful, bratty, and entitled kids out there, but a great many of them are wonderful! I've had stories pour in from all across the globe and I want to share with you today just a few of the inspiring and beautiful hearts of "these kids today."
See part 1 for more inspiring stories.
Ok, this story took place when June was 5. I was at the park with all 4 of the kids. I was with the little three in a sand pit, a bit away from the playground structures. I glanced over to see June come down a swirly slide and then turn around and face the slide again. I watched as a young one-year-old came down after him. His mom looked panicked a moment as she realized she was at the top of the structure and her baby was at the base of the slide. Without hesitating, June gently lifted the little girl off the slide, turned around, and put her gently back on the ground. I'm sure her mom was even more panicked, originally, when she saw a 5 year old pick up her child, but June knew exactly what to do to help the little girl down. He was so gentle and kind and the mom thanked him when she finally got to the slide. It was heartwarming to "catch" him being so caring and sweet. He had no clue he was being watched. He didn't do it for recognition or praise. He helped the little girl because he saw a need. That was one of the moments where it his you "I might just be doing something right." -Susie C.
***
Last weekend while we were at an Easter Egg hunt, my 6 year old son did something wonderful.
We were sitting on a bench in the park opening all the eggs my son had found when another kid, maybe 4 years old, sat on the bench adjacent to us. He proceeded to look into his bag at the two lonely eggs inside and his bottom lip curled out like I've never seen before. He didn't scream or wail, but he was obviously heartbroken. He tried to pull himself together to find his mom, but he took two steps away from the bench and his little legs just crumbled beneath his body, and that bottom lip made a second appearance. His poor face was just crushed.
Without hesitation, my son reached into his bag of eggs and started putting eggs into the other little guy's bag. Soon another kid saw what my son was doing and came over with some of his eggs to share with the little boy too. Before we knew what was even happening, several kids at the park were coming to offer eggs to the little boy who had only found two. His eyes dried up, and that bottom lip turned into a smile. His mom reminded him to say thank you and he bounded away with a bag full of eggs.
To say that I am proud of my son is an understatement. I've shared this story with all his grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and my son beams with pride every time I share it. I am just so proud of the compassionate person he is becoming. - Jill
***
About a year ago my girls and I were walking from to a nearby park to play. As we walked, we passed our neighborhood K through eighth grade elementary school. It was around 3 pm, so the school was letting kids out for the end of the day. As we continued and got closer to the park, a group of older students were all huddled around a younger student. My oldest, Charlee, was five at the time. She is a very outgoing, friendly, caring and tender soul. She is also not one to shy away from a party. So she ran ahead of me and approached the crowd (still well within my sight and ear). As she approached the kids, one of the older boys pushed the younger boy down to the ground. I saw her immediately kneel on the ground next to him and ask if he was ok. Then I over heard her scold the older kids. When I approached them, the entire crowd was apologetic and giggling at the fact that she told them, "To treat others kindly and that God does not want them to hurt others". Here was this little five year old preschooler standing up to sixth, seventh and eighth graders. I was so proud of her. -Lindsey
***
My son is 7 years old and is currently a second grader in the Maumee area. For the last two years we have held an event called Conner's Giving, where we collected goods/items to deliver around the holiday times. The first event he made his own flyers and we made a Facebook page to advertise to everyone. We ended up collecting so much food, paper/cleaning products, money etc that we were able to donate to The Beach House in Toledo and Mom's House in Toledo as well. Each time we received something we would take his picture and post it to FB to keep the momentum going. This last year we collected for The Humane Society. He wanted to help those in need. Channel 13 News even did a story on him! He has also volunteered the last two years for the Glass City Marathon at a water stop with the Agility Angels, and last year for the Race For Hope at North Cape Yacht club to help end Cancer. He helped with preparing food and setting up tables. - Jodi G
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***One of the reasons positive parenting is so important to me is that I want my kids to be considerate and thoughtful of the feelings of others, as I think the world is really lacking in considerate adults. My son, 5, can really struggle with behavior. We started out using punitive discipline and I think his behavior relects some of those past hurts. But he is also a kid who really thinks about others. A few months ago we were coming in from the car. I had his two younger siblings so and was frustrated that he was taking so long. I was about to shout to him to hurry him up when he turned the corner carrying a bag I needed carried in. I hadn't asked him to bring it in, so I asked why he had it. He said "Because I knew it would help you out and I like to see you happy". When positive parenting gets hard I like to think about this story and remind myself that positive parenting is about nurturing character, not controlling behavior. -Brandy
***
My 5 yo son made up Easter baskets for his teenage cousins. He picked out their favorite candies from his own stash. It was all his idea, he was so excited to play Easter bunny after he learned which candy they loved. We point out how sharing often gives other people joy and fun but we don't "force" sharing. All the sweeter when they genuinely do. His cousins thought it was the coolest thing ever.- Alyssa C
***
My son is involved in our local youth theatre and is the youngest one. I have been blown away by how wonderful this entire group of kids are (there are over 100 of them!), from some of the elementary kids who have taken him under their wings, to the teenagers who make sure to always say hi, give high fives and hugs, want to take photos with him, etc. And I've been so impressed how much the older kids always encourage the younger ones, and help anyone who needs help with anything. Most of the "kids these days" are pretty darn awesome! - Shannon O
***
Just wanted to say my now 19yr old daughter is an incredible help to me and our family. While most teens get a bad rep these days about being selfish and self absorbed I've been so blessed to have a teenager that spends about 1/4- 1/2 her week taking care of her 2 younger siblings (12 and 14yr difference) so that her step dad and I can work and they don't have to be in daycare. She picks them up from school walks them home - takes them to the park - out for hot chocolate and home for dinner - many nights she has done bath and bedtime too - she has been an integral support for out family and her brother and sister are so much better off having been in her care :)
***
She leaves for school in the fall and while we are so happy to see her off on this new adventure will miss her dearly but she has created a bond with them that will stay strong for a lifetime. - Sam
Last week, we were at our cooperative and one of the parents came up to me and said they needed to tell me what happened in one of my daughter’s classes. She proceeded to set the scene by saying that one of the little boys in her class (they are all between 4 and 6) had a really hard time with some happenings in the class and he needed to be escorted outside with his mom to calm him down. When the two returned, my daughter spoke to him and said, “We all know how you feel. It’s hard when you don’t get your way and sometimes it makes you really frustrated! And it’s also hard that your mom is teaching the class and she can’t give you all the attention you need because she has to give it to the rest of us! I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time.” Of course, she is just repeating what she sees me doing with our toddler at home, but the other teachers thought it was super cool. I was so happy for her that she picked up on his pain and was able to empathize with him. I don’t know if these are the kinds of stories you’re looking for, but I thought I’d share. - Kelli H.***
Heard of Zach Bonner? This teen has undertaken projects to help others since he was seven years old. Now a movie is being made about his inspiring life. 'Realize that you have incredible power as an individual,' he advises. 'You really can change the world.' Read his inspiring story here.
May 1, 2014
Inspiring Stories of These Kids Today - Part 1
We hear it all the time! Kids today are bratty, entitled, and disrespectful.
I want to debunk this common myth about today's youth. Sure, there are a few disrespectful, bratty, and entitled kids out there, but a great many of them are wonderful! I've had stories pour in from all across the globe and I want to share with you today just a few of the inspiring and beautiful hearts of "these kids today."
I recently brought my two young children, Jackson (2 and a half) and Tayva (14 months) to a community Passover Seder at a Rabbi couple's home in Portland, Oregon. There were several families there with young children, and some older kids as well. And there was one very elderly woman in a wheel chair being cared for by her daughter.
Upon arriving and settling in, I took my children to the bathroom. When we returned to the gathering of attendants getting ready to light candles and begin the evenings event, my son Jackson headed right over to the woman in the wheelchair.
This 90-something year old woman was half-blind, totally mute, propped up in a reclining wheel chair, and covered in woolen slippers, hat, and blankets. Besides her daughter who was wheeling her around, no one was interacting with her. But Jackson was completely drawn to her. He immediately put his little hands on her wrinkled hands resting in her lap, and leaned in and introduced himself with his name with his sweet toddler voice.
When the Seder began, Jackson came back to sit with me and his baby sister. Throughout the evening, he continued to get up and go to her across the room, saying first, "I'm going to go see my new friend!" And he would again touch her hands and lean in close to her face to talk to her. Or he just stood very close to her and just observe the happenings in the room comfortably, as if standing near a relative or close friend.
What a remarkable thing to witness: his pure, innocent, completely unbiased love from his soul to another soul. My son has had no prior experience with someone so elderly let alone incapacitated, for neither his father nor I have any grandparents left. When we go to parties or community events, he often chooses one person to connect with, but it usually is a friendly teenage girl who's good with kids or another child. That he was so drawn and unafraid to connect with a woman in her state warmed my heart beyond words. I actually teared up witnessing it, and have shed a few more tears retelling the beautiful story.
Since the Seder a few weeks ago, Jackson asks often if we can go back to the rabbi's house so he can see his new friend, "Grandma Nomi". I learned from speaking with her daughter that all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren live in Israel and she hasn't had any children around her for a long time. Her daughter said she could tell that little Jackson's loving attention to her warmed and lightened her mother's heart.
I couldn't help but ponder if they were friends in past lives. Or ponder whether it was the spiritual similarity between the very young and very old, as the time distance toward and from Spirit is the same. It really was a spiritual phenomenon, as Jackson was able to connect with someone who could not communicate, by connecting with her soul essence.
Blessings on our children, that they keep their hearts pure of love! Thank you for the inspiring blog!
Alana W
****
My son is 15, he'll turn 16 in Sept, and my story isn't anything that he did that went above and beyond or was any random act of kindness it's just about him being there for me.
My father died about a month and a half ago and it was a pretty tough time as you can imagine. My father and I had a very strained relationship, we hadn't really spoken in the past 3 years, which made it both hard and a little easier. Well, I can honestly say I don't know if I'd have made it through it without the constant love and strength that my son gave to me.
The funeral was particularly tough on both of us, we sat together for the majority of it and sometimes just cried amoungst each other, I held him and he held me. Then it came time to go up and say our final goodbyes, I damn near lost it, but there was my son by my side practically holding me up being the strength I needed. My son, my rock, my best friend, my 1st true love, my boy. I don't know what I'd do without him. - Nicole H
****
Hello, I just wanted to share my daughters story in an effort to help you bust the myth of entitled bratty kids.
Last holiday season, I set out to change what it means to our family. I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old, and my oldest was getting very excited about Christmas, I wanted the true meaning of Christmas to shine through, and not have my girls get into the mindset of getting gifts. I gave some ideas and thoughts on what we could do, and my 3 year old named Penelope decided she wanted to make presents for all the boys and girls that didn’t have mommys and daddys to buy them presents (I refuse to lie to her about santa, so she knows we buy her gifts) She chose the home here locally to donate to, and we made homemade caramels to give all the children. She now talks of the holidays in terms of what she is going to do for others and not what she is going to get. In our home, it truly is the gift of giving, and I hope to keep it that way. - Amanda
****
My mom was shopping at a local thrift shop. She noticed two teenage girls both wearing cute hats. She approached the girls and asked them where they'd gotten their hats. In an effort to explain why she was interested, she mentioned she'd lost her hair to chemo, was wearing a wig, and was always on the lookout for a cute hat. The girls replied to her questions & continued on their way out the store. A few minutes passed and the girls returned, both of them giving the hats they'd been wearing moments earlier to my mom. I don't know if they realized the impact they had on her. We both cried at their kindness when my mom related the story to me later. They will probably never know that their story is still told (8 years later) and will be forever remembered by me. They acted on an impression to do good. If I could meet those girls, I would give them all the love and appreciation I have through a great big hug. My mom has since passed on, but I keep those hats as a reminder of the goodness there is in the world. Often it comes through most clearly in the youth! - Joy C
****
Just wanted to share a story about my 15 month old daughter. Her older brother, who is almost 4, has cerebral palsy and developmental delays. He can't walk or talk. Every time we take them to the park, she will pick flowers and put them in his hands. Every night she won't go to bed until she's given him a kiss. I don't see a child being spoiled by gentle parenting. I see one learning empathy and kindness at a remarkably young age. - Aubri T
****
My daughter, Scarlett, is 8 years old. Last year for her 7th birthday she decided that instead of presents for her party, she wanted her friends to bring donations to the animal shelter.
She also cares greatly for the environment. When we go for walks she always wants to bring garbage bags so she can clean up the litter. - Lindsey U
****
When I was pregnant there were a couple kids sitting next to me at the beach while I was eating. Older, teenage kids. Both boys. One lit a cigarette and the other told him they should take it elsewhere because I was pregnant and apologized to me for being rude and lighting up right next to me. I wanted to thank his mamma! - Jennifer N
****
When my oldest daughter Keely was voted on the homecoming court, I asked her if another girl we knew had been voted for the homecoming court as well. She said "I don't know Mom, I don't hang out with her." I said, "I thought you girls were friends" She said, "We are friends, I just don't hang out with her. She has lots of people to hang out with. My main people that I hang out with are a really overweight girl, and a gay guy that has no other friends....if I didn't sit with them at lunch, they would have to sit alone..." When she told me this, I started sobbing. I knew that I had done the job I set out to do with parenting! It was awesome! - Kendra S
****
I saw a group of young men park their cars and begin to clean up some of the garbage along the streets and lots by my house today. - Mary Jo B
****
I recently moved to a new city and went to pick up some sandwiches (with my toddler son in tow) for a worker who was doing some projects in my house. As soon as I pulled up to the sandwich shop, I saw it was packed with teenagers. (They must have been on their lunch break.). After waiting in the long line with my toddler on my hip, I waited for my order and when I went to pick it up, my wallet slipped out of my hand and onto the floor. Without a beat, one of the girls at a nearby table popped down, picked it up, and handed it back to me with a smile. I got myself pulled together and then walked toward the door. One of the punkier-looking boys jogged ahead of me and I figured he must have been on his way out. But no - he just opened the door for me and my son with another kind smile. I have to admit, it made me feel great about my new hometown - and hopeful that my son will be equally as thoughtful when he is their age. - Jessica K
****
My daughter's class of 6-8 year olds is putting up their art work for auction to get LifeStraw water filters for Ethiopian kids who do not have access to clean water. Just like anyone, when kids are in balance, loved and respected for who they are, they show amazing empathy for those less fortunate. My daughter is so attached to the project that she is planning to set up donations for LifeStraw, as well as a lemonade stand at her summer birthday party to continue to raise funds. I'm not sure if I was thinking about people other than myself when I was 6! - Efsun S
****
My 3 year old likes to draw pictures and make things for her friends for no reason at all besides it making her happy.
She also offers me the same empathy I offer her when I am sad or upset. She always asks me if I would like a hug. I ALWAYS take it and sometimes just cry. She waits patiently and tells me what I tell her "I am here for you and I love you."
It melts my heart every time!! - Heather B
Lifesong Orphan Advocacy May 2014
"If our effort to love only affects ONE person...it is worth it!" -Ivan Zhykhariev, Ukraine Graduate
Child Sponsorship. It's easy to underestimate the impact sponsorship has on a child. Not only are basic needs (such as food, clothing, shelter) met, but also a sense of belonging is given that money can't buy. Sponsorship speaks "YOU MATTER TO ME." to a child who is longing for love from a family, security and hope for a future.
Giving FAMILY to Evelyn {HONDURAS}Testimonies like Evelyn's reminds us of the work God is doing to change lives in Honduras. Children who lose their earthly father, learn about their heavenly Father. Children who lose their family can say they have a new family. Children with little hope are taught that they can change their nation!
Currently, Evelyn has not been chosen by a sponsor to help support her Christian education and hopeful future. By sponsoring a child like Evelyn , you can be a part of changing a life, letting a child know they matter by bringing joy and purpose to their lives.
Will you help us find Evelyn a sponsor?
Learn more about Child Sponsorship at www.lifesongchildsponsorship.org . Testimony: More than Money {LIBERIA}Listen in as Carla Cornell, Liberia Child Sponsor shares on sponsorship...
"Meeting Thomas, Sharine and Prince was something we had been picturing for months and to finally feel those arms around us was a priceless, God-given moment. It was then we realized that sponsoring a child can be so much more than just sending money.
It can be an opportunity to open our hearts and share the love we so often take for granted with a child who needs it desperately. A child who may never have the same blessings and opportunities that most of us enjoy but with our help, they can have hope and they can know Jesus loves them and has not forgotten them. And we can be blessed beyond measure to be a tiny part of God's plan for them."Read her full testimony>>#31kids31days
This month, Help us find 31 sponsors in 31 days! Each day, we feature a child that does not yet have a sponsor. Will you join us in advocating on their behalf?Meet a few of our kids waiting for sponsorship....
Yididiya, 11 years old, Ethiopia
Momo, 8 years old, Liberia
Samuel, 12 years old, Zambia
Antonina, 12 years old, Ukraine
See all featured kids for the #31kids31days Campaign at lifesongfororphans.org/31kids31days
April 21, 2014
The Essential Parenting Collection Sale is Ending!!
SALE ENDS FOREVER ON APRIL 26, 2014!
CLICK HERE TO BUY
The Essential Parenting Collection is coming to an end! This digital bundle offers a wide array of eProducts, including eBooks, audiobooks, eCourses, workbooks, audio, coloring pages.
The Essential Parenting Collection is offered at $32, fractions of the retail value of $751.48.
We have divided the products into 5 categories. Scroll down the page to learn more about ALL of these wonderful resources
.
Each mini bundle is available for $19.97.
Pregnancy and BirthThe Early YearsChild DevelopmentResources for Parents Mindful GuidanceFree Gifts with purchase of the Full CollectionDig into these amazing resources!
Pregnancy and BirthFrom Maiden to Motherhood
Stephanie Brandt Cornais, Mama and Baby Love, 46 pages, retail value $6.99It's everything I know about conception, pregnancy, and postpartum. And I know a lot! I mentored hundreds of parents in childbirth classes when I was a Birthing From Within Mentor and in labor as a Certified Doula. I have also been a Licensed Massage Therapist for 14 years, specializing in pre-conception, pregnancy, and postpartum. And of course, my sweet Penelope, my oh so wanted, but oh so difficult baby (now almost 4!) has taught me a thing or two as well.
This ebook is just good, fast, easy-to-understand information about everything you absolutely must know as you begin your journey to motherhood. I am giving you all the juicy tidbits and lessons I have learned from working with pregnant couples for the past decade as well as my own experiences with being pregnant and a new mom.
It's everything I have ever told friends or clients, plus some things I wish I had known before getting pregnant with my daughter and other things I will do differently if I am blessed with another baby.
I have also included advice from my team of writers at Mama and Baby Love and some from other bloggers that I love, like The Pregnant Chicken, Code Name: Mama, Mother Rising, Dou-la-la, The Homeopathic Pregnancy, Naturally Knocked Up, Mommypotamus, and more.
As usual around here, I tell it straight, no beating around the bush or sugar coating things, which of course means there are a few curse words, but it's a funny read. You will laugh out loud, I promise."
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection
The Postpartum Herbal GuideLaura Schuerwegen, Authentic Parenting, 18 pages, retail value $2.99The Postpartum Herbal Guide is an introductory booklet to herbs for new mothers.
Topics include: how to make a herbal infusion, herbs for the postpartum time, traditional chinese postpartum bone broth recipe, herbs and breastfeeding and how to make your own sitz bath mix.
Learn how to use herbs to support and strengthen your postpartum body and to heal minor ailments. Make your postpartum time a nourishing one.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection
The Business of Baby: What Doctors Don't Tell You, What Corporations Try To Sell You, And How to Put Your Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Before Their Bottom Line.
Jennifer Margulis, audiobook, retail value $20
Why does the USA have among the highest maternal and infant mortality rates in the industrialized world? Why do pregnant women who plan to breastfeed receive� samples of infant formula from American obstetricians? Why are American newborns given a vaccine at birth against hepatitis B, a sexually transmitted disease? This eye-opening work of investigative journalism exposes how our current cultural practices during pregnancy, childbirth, and the first year of a baby's life are not based on the best evidence or the most modern science, revealing how American moms and their babies are being undermined by corporate interests.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection
Birth Relaxation KitJeremy Dyen and Mavi Gupta, Birth Relaxation Kit, audio and booklet, retail value $79
The only hypnobirthing program by Board Certified Doctor; hypnosis mp3s, scripts, nutrition guide, birth music; less than half the price of most hypnobirth programs.With all three Birth Relaxation Kitâ„¢ hypnobirthing programs you will overcome anxiety and fear so you can give birth confidently, feeling empowered and relaxed. You can enjoy a shorter, more comfortable and even pain-free birth!
Why Hypnosis For Pregnancy and Childbirth?
We are dedicated to serving moms and moms-to-be seeking an empowered, safe and more comfortable childbirth experience. We Are On A Mission to empower you with real tools to birth confidently and without fear...And the movement is rapidly growing as thousands and thousands of women are successfully using hypnobirthing and self-hypnosis for birth, pregnancy and motherhood.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection
Simply Natural Pregnancy
Megan Kimmelshue, The Boho Mama, 40 pages, retail value $5.99Simply Natural Pregnancy is a back-to-basics eBook for mothers who want to "go green" but are overwhelmed and stressed by all the alternatives available. Using concise information, actionable but powerful baby steps, and resources for digging deeper, Simply Natural Pregnancy is a transformative tool for every expectant mother.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
Buy the Full Essential Parenting Collection
Stay at Home Yoga
Jennifer Hoffman, Stay at Home Yoga, Every Breath I Take, 3-Month Premium Membership, retail value $23.97Bundle purchasers will receive three months of unlimited access to four types of yoga classes and all membership bonuses! Your physical alignment plays a vital role in your pregnancy, labor and delivery, but very few prenatal exercise programs teach moms to restore healthy alignment. Each Stay-at-Home Yoga class is designed to provide you with both information and exercises to restore natural alignment, reduce pregnancy aches and pains and prepare you for a natural birth.
Buy the Pregnancy and Birth Module
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Parenting the Early Years
The Colic SolutionNicolette Roux, Powerful Mothering, 29 pages, value $9.95
The colic solution is an ebook to help new mothers with colic symptoms in their babies. I have detailed my experience with colic three times over, and given examples for what to look out for and how to start applying some tried and tested relief methods.
Every baby is different, unique, not one solution will work for every baby. That is why my ebook has many suggestions, angles of approach and views. One WILL work for your baby!
You will sleep again and you will be able to finely drink that cup of HOT tea or coffee that has been eluding you for weeks! There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Twin Manibreasto: A Success Story of Milk and MultiplesMercedes R. Donis, Project Procrastinot, 54 pages, retail value $6.99
A first time mom reflects on her journey of breastfeeding twins.Don't judge your entire experience based on the first three months,� she cautions, as she shares the challenges faced during the "fourth trimester" and beyond. Part memoir, part manual, Mercedes shares her story as well as suggestions on what gear to buy (and what to skip), recipes, links for further reading and a printable feeding log. Topics include: positions for tandem feeding twins, pumping and milk supply, and scheduling feeds vs. feeding on-demand.
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Oxytocin Parenting - Womb through the Terrible Twos.
Susan Kuchinskas and Bryan Post, The Post Institute, retail value $0.99Did you know that a child's ability to love and connect is shaped after birth? The way you parent your child actually influences the way her brain cells wire together to form the circuits she'll use in social situations throughout her life.
A key to forming healthy relationships is the oxytocin response. Oxytocin is naturally released inside the brain when we feel safe and can open to intimacy and connection. The oxytocin response probably begins to develop in the womb, is influenced by the birthing process and then continues to develop in the first three years of life. It's shaped by the love and care a baby gets in this period.
This book is valuable reading no matter how old your child is. Parenting understanding of oxytocin and advice for all ages (works with spouses too!).
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The Natural Parent's Guide to Babywearing.
Lauren Wayne, Hobo Mama, 154 pages, retail value $11.97Babywearing gives you a convenient way to carry along a little one, keeping your child engaged while allowing you as the parent or caregiver to continue with the routines of life - walking, using your hands for tasks, and even breastfeeding while keeping your child secure.
This book is a Babywearing 101 class, giving an introductory overview of babywearing, along with troubleshooting ideas for special circumstances. We'll talk about the benefits of babywearing, types of common carriers, how to babywear safely, pictorial how-tos for how to tie and wrap the most popular carriers, tutorials for making your own carrier, and a list of helpful resources for information and support on your babywearing journey.
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What Not to Say - Tools for Talking with Young Children
Sarah MacLaughlin, Sarah MacLaughlin, LSW, 96 pages, value $12
Whether parent, teacher, grandparent, or nanny, this book will help you see the importance of not only your role as parent or caregiver, but the relationship, too. Changes in your approach, words, and tone can have lasting beneficial effects in your relationship with a child and on that child's behavior as well.
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JUNO MagazineJuno Magazine (e-magazine), 1-year subscription: 4 issues, retail value $24.74
JUNO promotes a natural approach to family life that inspires and supports parents as they journey through the challenges of parenting. We have an ethos based on conscious parenting, sustainability, social justice, non-violence and a commitment to personal growth and spiritual awareness and share fresh perspectives in this fast-paced technological world, creating a non-judgemental community for those who are keen to follow "a natural approach to family life."
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Child Development
Reaching for the MoonLucy Pearce, The Happy Womb, 82 pages, value $3.99
Written for girls aged 9-14 introducing them to the menstrual cycle in simple, soulful language, taking the form of a gentle, meaningful initiation into womanhood.
Reaching for the Moon incorporates stories, real womens' experiences of their first periods, and answers girls' most burning practical questions about periods and their bodies in a loving, age-appropriate way. This is the guide that empowered and caring mothers, aunts and godmothers want for the girls in their lives.
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How Children's Emotions WorkHand in Hand Parenting, retail value $7
Your child has a vital need to connect with you. This booklet helps you understand your child's emotional life, and how you can best fill his needs.
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Why Does He Do That? A Parent's Guide to ASDStella Waterhouse, stellawaterhouse.com, 32 pages, retail value $3.23
This book looks at the difficulties children with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) have including lesser known problems such as sensory problems to anxiety and explores the effects these can have.
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Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers
Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, Post Hypnotic Press, audiobook (13 hrs 42 mins), retail value $26A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children. A phenomenon they term peer orientation, it refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. Peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident - as do the solutions, none of which are impossible or even costly to undertake.
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The Drama Years: Real Girls Talk About Surviving Middle School - Bullies, Brands, Body Image, and More
Haley Kilpatrick, Post Hypnotic Press, audiobook, retail value $16; 6 hrs 39 mins"The Drama Years is a great overall primer for anyone with a young teen girl in there life. And the girls will love it too! I will highly recommend it to the parents, teachers, and girls I work with." (Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes)
The Drama Years is the definitive guide to the pressures that middle school girls experience every day. Speaking to parents of both middle school girls and high school girls alike (and the girls themselves), it is packed with the voices of middle school girls, who share their experiences, anecdotes and thoughts on everything from stress to body image, from frenemies to getting along with parents. Throughout the book, high school mentors share their own similar experiences and offer parents advice for how to help their girls survive this tricky time.
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Gender Neutral Parenting: Raising kids with the freedom to be themselvesPaige Lucas Stannard, Parenting Gently, 134 pages, retail value $9.99
Our culture has strict rules for acceptable behavior for men and women. But what about kids who fall outside the boundaries of prescribed roles? This book is a guide for parents in the practical application of Gender Neutral Parenting - a parenting style based on respect for a child's self-identity and providing latitude in exploring their own version of gender and gender expressions.
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Mindful Guidance
Positive Parenting in Action
Rebecca Eanes & Laura Ling, Positive Parents, 180 pages, value $7.49
There is an abundance of resources available which tell parents why traditional parenting practices are not optimal, but few help parents learn what to do in place of traditional practices. In this book, we'll discuss the principles of positive parenting, and then we will go through more than 40 scenarios to show you what it looks like when these principles are put into action.
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Setting Limits with Young ChildrenHand in Hand Parenting, 26 pages, retail value $7
What do you do when your child acts out? How do you tell a child "No" without triggering a power struggle? This booklet teaches you to set healthy boundaries, interact with both warmth and authority and create cooperation and closeness.
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The ABCs of Conscious ParentingLori Petro, TEACH through Love, 47 pages + audio download, retail value $68
Create a stronger relationship with your kids by changing the way you speak. Lori Petro will show you how to create peace in your home without sacrificing your influence.
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Raising Mindful KidsYvonne Woloszanskyj, Mindful Parenting Skills, 13 pages, retail value $27
Discover The Physical, Emotional & Spiritual Needs Your Child Has And How To Quench Their Thirst In Today's Society, A Guide To Developing And Nurturing Mindfulness In Children
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Parenting Softly
Bryan Post, Post Institute, 44 pages, retail value: $9.95Simple guidance for developing healthy attachments with your child from conception to age two, for raising a child who laughs lots, loves big, and learns exceptionally.
Taking a look at raising your baby from a neurological point of view, Bryan Post's latest book will help by providing parents with what he calls "seven gifts of parenting softly." It is guaranteed to provide insights you may have never considered. A perfect gift for new or expecting parents!
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A Survival Guide. Positive Parenting for Children with ASDStella Waterhouse, stellawaterhouse.com, 35 pages, retail value $4.16
Following on from 'Why Does He Do That?', A Survival Guide suggests relatively simple ideas that, although they do not offer a 'quick fix' or a miracle cure, are easily implemented and can be very effective.
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Keep Your Cool - How to Stop Yelling, Spanking and Punishing: What to Do Instead
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Flo Gascon, 157 pages, retail value $25
Your kids are your pride and joy, but sometimes conflict arises and it can be overwhelming. You lose your temper when you don't mean to. In this guide, I break down an interaction into 5 manageable pieces, making your issues easier to define and act upon effectively. There is not a one-fits-all solution, so you have opportunity to customize your Cool Down and Help Strategy. This is about knowing your individual triggers and your individual child and getting on a path to a strong and peaceful relationship.
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Resources for Parents
The Sane Parenting Challenge
Amy Phoenix, Presence Parenting, 6-week eCourse, retail value $50Parenting kind of crazy? The Sane Parenting Challenge is a six week journey to transform how you respond when parenting feels intense. Each week you are invited to incorporate a simple, yet effective practice into your life to gradually begin choosing your response when parenting feels crazy so you can experience more ease - and still keep the joyful crazy parts that only parents can understand.
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The Transgender Child
Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper, Post Hypnotic Press, audiobook: 8 hrs 11 mins, narrated by Michael Puttonen, retail value $20
"This beautifully written, meticulously well-researched book is a godsend for parents and professionals in search of clear, reliable, and up-to-date information about all facets of parenting and caring for transgender children. Combining real life experience with the latest research, Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper have written an indispensable guide that will save lives and empower families to ensure that transgender children receive the love and support they need to thrive." — Shannon Price Minter, Legal Director, National Center for Lesbian Rights
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Liberation Parenting Program
Teresa Graham Brett, Parenting for Social Change, 131 pages plus 2+ hours of audio, retail value $47The Liberation Parenting Program is a multimedia e-course that helps parents to do the inner work needed to move through blocks that keep them from sustaining relationships with children that are grounded in trust, respect, and freedom. Using tools for transformative learning, parents will experience greater wholeness and connection for themselves and support the children in their lives to do the same.
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Calm Authority for Fathers
Marcy Axness, Parenting for Peace, audio coaching session, retail value $19.95Parenting can blindside us when it pushes our buttons from how we were treated as a child. "Calm Authority for Fathers" is an easy, relaxing way to harness the latest scientific finding: the more you can make sense of your own past, the healthier and more successful you child will be! The bonus: It cultivates an inner calm and self-possession that's essential for effective parenting, and that makes most discipline issues evaporate before they ever appear.
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Embracing a Child-Centered Divorce: Because You Love Your ChildrenRosalind Sedacca, Child-Centered Divorce, retail value $9.99
As a Divorce and Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, Rosalind Sedacca shares valuable advice, tips and insights for divorced parents on helping children cope with divorce and transition after divorce with the best possible outcome. She helps parents understand the emotional effects of divorce on children and how to protect their children from hurt, anxiety and long-term damaging consequences. Learn how to co-parent more effectively and become aware of your child's needs at differing ages and stages during and after divorce.Buy the Resources for Parents Module
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12 Steps To A More Natural Family HomeEmma Weatherall, So Natural Baby, 15 pages, retail value $8.17
Many of the materials used in household items can leach chemicals into the air that we breathe and onto our children's delicate skin, causing problems and health issues that can affect your family's quality of life. This eBook will help you identify the 'nasties' in your home and give you ideas on what you can easily do to replace them or reduce their effects.
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Free gifts with purchase - exclusive to the Full Essential Parenting Collection
Gentle Parenting Coloring Pages
Hugo Smits, retail value $2.99
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Conscious Communication
Lori Petro, TEACH through Love, 17 pages, retail value $20
Mindful Mondays: A collection of language examples exploring everyday parenting challenges using the process of compassionate communication
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HighSelfEsteemKids
Dr. Joe Rubino, highselfesteemkids, audio, retail value $147
Learn the tools to champion children to build soaring self-esteem as a Certified Coach in Self-Esteem Elevation for Children.
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Mama is Having a Baby - A Journey to Tandem BreastfeedingJoni Rae Latham, Tales of a Kitchen Witch, coloring book, 15 pages, retail value $3.99
This is a 15-page coloring book with line drawings by Joni Rae Latham. The drawings depict a story done in coloring pictures of a nursing toddler who still spends much of his/her day breastfeeding, and the new baby that is suddenly in the house.
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