Rebecca Eanes's Blog, page 16

Love Courageously Challenge - Day 9 (Loving Courageously Through Burnout)

By the nature of it, parenting can set you up to burn out. It's the only job which requires your attention 24/7 all year round. Clinical psychologist Robin F. Goodman, PhD, says it's often trying so hard to be a good parent that can set a parent up for burnout. Setting a high standard for the kind of parent you want to be and not being able to meet that standard adds pressure.

"Burnout can also be related to feeling a lack of control in the job, being under appreciated, or not being rewarded," says Dr. Goodman. Other jobs offer rewards and incentives to employees to let them know that they're doing a good job, but parenting is expected to be its own reward. The lack of immediacy of that reward can make it tough.

Read the entire post here, then come back for your challenge.

List one thing you can do for yourself starting today - one small step toward taking better care of yourself. Make it happen. Don't be afraid to reach out to others. Call a friend. Have a heart to heart with your partner. You don't have to go it alone.

Join me tomorrow for Loving Courageously Through Sleep Deprivation.




**************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

The "I CHOOSE LOVE" bracelets you requested have been ordered! You can preorder yours now in red or purple, debossed with white lettering (available in the US only, free shipping).

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

Love Courageously Challenge - Day 8 (Loving Courageously ThroughTantrums)

Pick out the trantrum:

Sophia has simply had enough. Her emotions center in her brain is screaming red alert! She throws the item she has in her hand and it smashes against the wall. Tears start to flow uncontrollably. She screams at her kids, letting out her frustration as wide little eyes stare back at her.

Allie is so tired and doesn't want to be in the boring supermarket. She's sleepy and cranky. She asks for a sucker and the "no" is her tipping point. She throws herself on the floor. Tears start to flow uncontrollably. She screams at her parents, letting out her frustration as narrow, irritated eyes stare back at her.

Nothing has been going Blake's way lately. His friend betrayed him. His parents are constantly on his back. School is hard; his grades are dropping. When Adam makes a snide remark at lunch, he loses it. He punches Adam in the face, letting out his frustration as startled eyes stare back at him.

Damon is really stressed out about work. He's putting in 12 hour days to try to make ends meet at home, yet the company is in trouble, and he isn't sure how much longer he'll have his job. Coming home isn't a relief as his marriage is rocky, and his wife is frustrated and worn out at being home alone so much. When she vents about him being late again today, he loses his cool. In a fit of rage, he screams at her to back off, taking out his frustration as frightened eyes stare back at him.

Yes, all 4 of these are tantrums. None of these people were in control of their emotions and reactions.

Tantrums are a strong emotional reaction to a stimulus. When the information coming in trips an alarm and gets sent to our more primitive limbic system rather than our cortex (or thinking brain which houses logic and reasoning), a tantrum can result. It actually takes a lot of maturity and self-control to not react in such a way, because when that alarm gets tripped, our bodies get flooded with hormones that make us want to fight or run.

This is tough stuff to love courageously through, but if we want to teach children the emotional control they need to keep from acting like Blake, Sophia, and Damon, then we have to start loving them courageously when they're having tantrums like Allie.

I realize this isn't your typical tantrum post. I'm not supposed to be calling out the parents here. I'm supposed to be telling you how to stop your kids from having tantrums. Yet, if nothing else, we need to see the humanness of tantrums. The same basic biological process that happens to you when you yell is happening to your child. Let's acknowledge that it isn't manipulation or done for the sole purpose of annoying you, but it is a human reaction. Let's see the human behind the behavior.

This isn't a behavior problem to be squashed, but a human in distress. Help.

Sure, I understand that sometimes kids have a tantrum just to get their way.

This is embarrassingly similar to our parental tantrums, isn't it? "My kid won't do anything I say until I start screaming!" So, we pitch a fit to get our kid to act. Then, we get really mad when our kid pitches a fit to get us to act. 
But see, that doesn't mean that you are manipulative or mean or bad. It doesn't mean your kid is either. It simply means that, at that particular moment, both of you are out of resources. You have no idea how to get your need met in that moment other than to tantrum. 
So it stands to reason that what you and me and the children all need are more resources. 
Two things need to happen in order for people of all ages to avoid a tantrum.
1. Understanding of emotions, triggers, and reactivity.
2. Self-control.

The part of the brain that allows us to think logically - to reason about what will happen if we do something - is still very underdeveloped in Allie. That's also the part that houses higher emotional control. We're expecting more of Allie than she's capable of. It's still developing in Blake, too, though he should have enough control to keep from punching someone. Damon and Sophia have fully developed thinking brains now; they just need the self-control.

If it's hard for us, imagine how much harder it is for children. Often, these tantrum throwers are 12-36 months old. They're so new, still learning, still developing. How can we help hem develop optimally?

When we withdraw love and attention, we send the message that they aren't worthy of us at that time. This is common advice, though. Ignore the child who tantrums. That'll teach them. Yes, it will. It will teach them that they have to win your love. That's not giving courageous love; that's giving conditional love.

But you don't want to give her the idea that throwing a tantrum is okay. I know. Here goes the cat out of the bag. Love doesn't teach her that.

Love just teaches her that she's loved. 

Now, if she's having a tantrum over that sucker and you give her the sucker to shut her up, then I can see where she might conclude that having a tantrum gets her what she wants. However, loving her courageously through her tantrum while not giving her the sucker gives her what she needs.

So, here's how to love courageously through a tantrum.

1. Never withdraw your love and attention. You don't have to necessarily give the child more attention as some may feed off of that, especially if it's when they get the most attention, but don't ignore his very existence. That hurts. Acknowledge his distress and empathize with it, even if from a distance. Some children want held, some want left alone, all want to feel loved and understood.

2. Make sure she gets lots of loving and positive attention every day. If the only time she gets attention is when she pitches a fit, she's more likely to pitch fits. Not really out of a manipulative mind, but basic cause and effect.

3. Teach about emotions. There are a lot of ways to do this besides just naming them as they happen. Check out these free printables from Kidlutions or play games. Also, help them see and acknowledge what triggers them. "You get really upset when it's time to leave grandma's. Let's work on ways to help you feel better about that."

4. Teach specific ways to deal with emotions. My son used to love to pop a balloon when he was angry. He was probably 2 at the time. It was a release for him. All kids (and adults) have different ways of calming themselves. Some like music. Others reading. Still others need to do something physical like clap their hands or rip paper. If they have an appropriate outlet for releasing their frustration, over time they'll learn to seek that outlet first.

Talk about whatever caused the tantrum after it's over and talk about ways to improve. It's difficult to hear during a raging storm, but much easier when the waters are calm. Wait until emotions are back to baseline before teaching the lesson. During the tantrum, just be courageous.

5. Control yourself. Tantrums often cause us to have our own strong reaction that we have to learn to control so we can show up and help our kids.

6. A little grace. Hey, we are all human beings here. That doesn't excuse poor behavior, but if you've ever lost it on your kid or partner, you can at least empathize with that strong feeling that seems to suck us all into the pit at some point. Learn better. Teach them better. And give a little grace when it's needed.

It takes strength to offer gentleness to a screaming child. It takes self-control to be steady in the face of an emotional storm. If being present and loving while still holding a limit through your child's raging emotions isn't courage, I don't know what is.


Think about your initial gut reaction to tantrums. What happens in your body? What thoughts go through your mind? What can you do to calm your own reaction enough to love your child courageously through that time? When does your child normally have a tantrum? Can you see a pattern? Are there changes you can make to help your child?

Join me tomorrow for Loving Courageously Through Burnout.


**************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

The "I CHOOSE LOVE" bracelets you requested have been ordered! You can preorder yours now in red or purple, debossed with white lettering (available in the US only, free shipping).

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

Love Courageously Challenge - Day 8 (Loving Courageously ThroughTantrums)

Pick out the trantrum:

Sophia has simply had enough. Her emotions center in her brain is screaming red alert! She throws the item she has in her hand and it smashes against the wall. Tears start to flow uncontrollably. She screams at her kids, letting out her frustration as wide little eyes stare back at her.

Allie is so tired and doesn't want to be in the boring supermarket. She's sleepy and cranky. She asks for a sucker and the "no" is her tipping point. She throws herself on the floor. Tears start to flow uncontrollably. She screams at her parents, letting out her frustration as narrow, irritated eyes stare back at her.

Nothing has been going Blake's way lately. His friend betrayed him. His parents are constantly on his back. School is hard; his grades are dropping. When Adam makes a snide remark at lunch, he loses it. He punches Adam in the face, letting out his frustration as startled eyes stare back at him.

Damon is really stressed out about work. He's putting in 12 hour days to try to make ends meet at home, yet the company is in trouble, and he isn't sure how much longer he'll have his job. Coming home isn't a relief as his marriage is rocky, and his wife is frustrated and worn out at being home alone so much. When she vents about him being late again today, he loses his cool. In a fit of rage, he screams at her to back off, taking out his frustration as frightened eyes stare back at him. 

Yes, all 4 of these are tantrums. None of these people were in control of their emotions and reactions. 

Tantrums are a strong emotional reaction to a stimulus. When the information coming in trips an alarm and gets sent to our more primitive limbic system rather than our cortex (or thinking brain which houses logic and reasoning), a tantrum can result. It actually takes a lot of maturity and self-control to not react in such a way, because when that alarm gets tripped, our bodies get flooded with hormones that make us want to fight or run.

This is tough stuff to love courageously through, but if we want to teach children the emotional control they need to keep from acting like Blake, Sophia, and Damon, then we have to start loving them courageously when they're having tantrums like Allie.

I realize this isn't your typical tantrum post. I'm not supposed to be calling out the parents here. I'm supposed to be telling you how to stop your kids from having tantrums. Yet, if nothing else, we need to see the humanness of tantrums. The same basic biological process that happens to you when you yell is happening to your child. Let's acknowledge that it isn't manipulation or done for the sole purpose of annoying you, but it is a human reaction. Let's see the human behind the behavior.

This isn't a behavior problem to be squashed, but a human in distress. Help.

Sure, I understand that sometimes kids have a tantrum just to get their way. 
This is embarrassingly similar to our parental tantrums, isn't it? "My kid won't do anything I say until I start screaming!" So, we pitch a fit to get our kid to act. Then, we get really mad when our kid pitches a fit to get us to act. 
But see, that doesn't mean that you are manipulative or mean or bad. It doesn't mean your kid is either. It simply means that, at that particular moment, both of you are out of resources. You have no idea how to get your need met in that moment other than to tantrum. 
So it stands to reason that what you and me and the children all need are more resources. 
Two things need to happen in order for people of all ages to avoid a tantrum.
1. Understanding of emotions, triggers, and reactivity.
2. Self-control.

The part of the brain that allows us to think logically - to reason about what will happen if we do something - is still very underdeveloped in Allie. That's also the part that houses higher emotional control. We're expecting more of Allie than she's capable of. It's still developing in Blake, too, though he should have enough control to keep from punching someone. Damon and Sophia have fully developed thinking brains now; they just need the self-control.

If it's hard for us, imagine how much harder it is for children. Often, these tantrum throwers are 12-36 months old. They're so new, still learning, still developing. How can we help hem develop optimally?

When we withdraw love and attention, we send the message that they aren't worthy of us at that time. This is common advice, though. Ignore the child who tantrums. That'll teach them. Yes, it will. It will teach them that they have to win your love. That's not giving courageous love; that's giving conditional love.

But you don't want to give her the idea that throwing a tantrum is okay. I know. Here goes the cat out of the bag. Love doesn't teach her that.

Love just teaches her that she's loved. 

Now, if she's having a tantrum over that sucker and you give her the sucker to shut her up, then I can see where she might conclude that having a tantrum gets her what she wants. However, loving her courageously through her tantrum while not giving her the sucker gives her what she needs.

So, here's how to love courageously through a tantrum.

1. Never withdraw your love and attention. You don't have to necessarily give the child more attention as some may feed off of that, especially if it's when they get the most attention, but don't ignore his very existence. That hurts. Acknowledge his distress and empathize with it, even if from a distance. Some children want held, some want left alone, all want to feel loved and understood.

2. Make sure she gets lots of loving and positive attention every day. If the only time she gets attention is when she pitches a fit, she's more likely to pitch fits. Not really out of a manipulative mind, but basic cause and effect.

3. Teach about emotions. There are a lot of ways to do this besides just naming them as they happen. Check out these free printables from Kidlutions or play games. Also, help them see and acknowledge what triggers them. "You get really upset when it's time to leave grandma's. Let's work on ways to help you feel better about that."

4. Teach specific ways to deal with emotions. My son used to love to pop a balloon when he was angry. He was probably 2 at the time. It was a release for him. All kids (and adults) have different ways of calming themselves. Some like music. Others reading. Still others need to do something physical like clap their hands or rip paper. If they have an appropriate outlet for releasing their frustration, over time they'll learn to seek that outlet first.

Talk about whatever caused the tantrum after it's over and talk about ways to improve. It's difficult to hear during a raging storm, but much easier when the waters are calm. Wait until emotions are back to baseline before teaching the lesson. During the tantrum, just be courageous.

5. Control yourself. Tantrums often cause us to have our own strong reaction that we have to learn to control so we can show up and help our kids.

6. A little grace. Hey, we are all human beings here. That doesn't excuse poor behavior, but if you've ever lost it on your kid or partner, you can at least empathize with that strong feeling that seems to suck us all into the pit at some point. Learn better. Teach them better. And give a little grace when it's needed.

It takes strength to offer gentleness to a screaming child. It takes self-control to be steady in the face of an emotional storm. If being present and loving while still holding a limit through your child's raging emotions isn't courage, I don't know what is.


Think about your initial gut reaction to tantrums. What happens in your body? What thoughts go through your mind? What can you do to calm your own reaction enough to love your child courageously through that time? When does your child normally have a tantrum? Can you see a pattern? Are there changes you can make to help your child?

Join me tomorrow for Loving Courageously Through Burnout.


**************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

Love Courageously Challenge - Day Seven (Courageous Love Sees the Best)

Courageous love sees the best.
Think about this. The people in our lives who look past our faults and see our beauty, the ones who still see the light in us during the times we feel only darkness, those are the people who save us from the depths of blackness. Those are the ones who help us see our own beauty and light again.

Do you have someone like that? We all need that person - someone who reflects our light back at us so we can see it, too.

That's what a parent should be.
Look for the light in your child. Notice the way he cares for his sibling or the family pet. Notice his compassion, his goodness. Notice the way she always comforts or tries to help out. Stop focusing on what she does wrong and focus on what she does right. Just a small shift in focus can change your life.

If we are to love courageously, we need to be light-noticers and not fault-finders. They'll be knocked down enough in life. Home should a place where you get picked up and held. Can we be as quick to point out the right as we are the wrong?
In your journal today, write down all of your child's positive qualities that you can think of. Point out a positive quality to him/her every day of this challenge.

Join me tomorrow for "Loving Courageously Through Tantrums."




**************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

Love Courageously Challenge - Day Six (Courageous Love is Expressive)

Actions speak louder than words. We know that, right? So, in addition to telling our children how much we love them, we must express our love in actions.

Every child has a love language. If you'd like to learn more, read The Five Love Languages of Children.

The five basic love languages are:

Touch - This child feels most loved through affection and physical activities like wrestling or racing.

Words - This child feels most loved with kind words and praise.

Quality time - This child feels most loved when the parent takes time to focus on her alone.

Gifts: This child feels most loved when given something - a gift or token of your love.

Service: This child feels most loved when you do nice things for him, like help him with his chores.

Ask your child to name 3 things that make him or her feel loved the most. Write these 3 things down in your journal and make it a point to express it daily.


Join me tomorrow for "Courageous Love Sees the Best."





**************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

Love Courageously Challenge - Day Five (Courageous Love is Attentive)

We're busy people. The world is dinging and buzzing around us. The days are whirring by. We move at a dizzying speed to get everything accomplished before we crash in bed for a few hours and get up to do it all again.

Whoa, horse. Slow down! Pay attention. As far as I know, we only come through here once. Let's not miss out on all the wonder and joy and delight. Here's how to slow down and enjoy your life and your littles.

1. Do less stuff. Cut out what isn't necessary. Make a conscious choice to focus only on what is really important to you.

2. Be present. It takes practice not to let your mind wander to all the things you need to do. Work on focusing your mind to what is going on around you in this moment.

3. Disconnect from devices and connect to loved ones. Want inspiration to let go of those distractions and embrace what really matters? Pick up Rachel Macy Stafford's book, Hands Free Mama. Good stuff.

4. Open your eyes to the joy around you. A small hand molding playdough. The comfort of a warm bath. The smell of cookies baking. The kitty curled up on your couch. There is a lot to be thankful for. Notice.

5. Go clock free for a day and release yourself from the restraints of time. Probably best done on a weekend. You may notice you have a lot more time when clock isn't taunting you with it's incessant ticking.

Being attentive is all about slowing down and enjoying your life and your time with family. Today, carve out an hour or more to slow down, be present, and take notice of the joy that surrounds you. In your journal, write down how it felt to go at a slower pace and as many joys as you can see.

Join me tomorrow for "Courageous Love is Expressive."





**************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

Love Courageously Challenge - Day Four (Courageous Love is Kind Love)

Courageous love is kind love. We speak of being kind to strangers. We speak of being kind to our neighbors and our friends. We speak of being kind to our spouses. We speak of disciplining our children.

Let's make it a point today, and for the rest of this challenge, to show out-of-the-way kindness to these little human beings we get to share our lives with. Kindness begets kindness, and I believe you just may find at the end of this challenge that your kids are kinder, too.

Ideas to show out-of-the-way kindness:

1. Do a chore for them. Make their bed and then top if off with a little love note.

2. Write on their bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker. "You're so loved!"

3. Put away all distractions for an hour and just play.

4. Visit your child at school and have lunch together.

5. Plan a special date with your little one.

6. Make heart-shaped pancakes or sandwiches.

7. Stick a love note in your child's lunch, or even a small balloon with a message written on it.

8. Give your child an extra-long hug and one extra story at bedtime.

9. Make a coupon book redeemable for such lovely gifts as 1 ice cream cone, stay up 30 minutes past bedtime, or you choose the movie for movie night.

10. It doesn't have to be a birthday to order a cake. Celebrate your child with a cake that just says "I love you!" String up balloons and everything!

For 100 more ways to show kindness to your child, check out this great post.

Today, do an unexpected kindness for your child. In your journal, write what kindness you did, how made you feel, and your child's reaction.

Bonus: Do one for your partner, too!

Join me tomorrow for "Courageous Love is Attentive."



**************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

Love Courageously Challenge - Day Three (Courageous Love Isn't Critical)

Courageous love isn't critical. Constantly criticizing children tears them down. Our job, courageous parents, is to build up. Turn your criticisms into encouragements. Here are some examples:

Criticism: Why can't you understand this?
Encouragement: If you keep trying, you'll get it. I believe in you.

Criticism: Your room is a pigsty.
Encouragement: Keeping your room tidy shows responsibility, and I know you're a responsible kid. Remember that time you (name something responsible your child has done).

Criticism: Your clothes don't match. Again!
Encouragement: I like your unique style.

Criticism: This grade is pathetic. You can do better than this!
Encouragement: I know you're very capable in this subject area. Is there something you need help with?

Criticism: You're so clumsy! You always spill your drink!
Encouragement: Oops! Let's clean this up.

Words are powerful. Use yours to cover your child in love and grace.

Today, resolve to not let any critical words escape your lips. Practice flipping any critical words that come to mind into encouragement. In your journal, write down a few criticisms that you've said to your child that come to mind and then write a positive encouragement for each one. You'll be ready to encourage the next time it happens!

Join me tomorrow for "Courageous Love is Kind Love."


*****************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

"Let your words cover your child in love and grace" digital download print is available in the shop!

Love Courageously Challenge - Day Two (Courageous Love is Patient)

Courageous love is patient love. It doesn't flip out over spilled milk. It is steady in the face of challenges. How do we grow patience?

1. Stop expecting (and demanding) perfection from yourself and your children. Live well, love well, and try your best. If you slip up, ask forgiveness. If they slip up, forgive. Keep moving and don't remain with Guilt for too long.

2. Breathe. I know that sounds cliche, but have you really tried deep, focused breathing to calm yourself? Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 8. Repeat 4 times.

3. Let go of unnecessary baggage on your agenda. You don't have to do it all. The world will keep on turning, and you'll be happier. Promise.

4. Find some humor. It's good to laugh for a whole host of reasons, and many of us aren't doing it nearly enough. Find reasons to laugh every single day, preferably with your children, and look for the humor in typically frustrating situations. When my sons spill water (which seems to happen daily), I say, "Oh no, look at that! You made a clean spot there! That's going to stick out!" It's not all a big deal.

5. Speaking of big deals, shift your perspective. Ask yourself if the thing that's making you feel impatient is going to matter tomorrow or next week or 5 years from now. It's probably not.

6. Build you self-confidence. You may have a nagging critical voice in your head. Like mine, for instance. Tell it to shut up and sit down. Speak kindly to yourself, like you would a friend. Focus on your good qualities.

7. Make prayer and/or meditation a daily part of your life. A few minutes a day can make a big difference.

8. Grab hold of that small space between action and reaction. Acknowledge it with "I have a choice" and then choose a better response.

9. Plan ahead. Visualize how you will react to reoccurring issues or common frustrations.

10. Practice patience every day. Keep at it until it becomes a habit. They say that takes 21 days, so by the end of this challenge, you should be quite patient.

Today, work on growing your patience by trying some of the above techniques. In your journal, write what worked best for you. Also jot down some of the common frustrations you deal with and how you would like to respond ideally.

Join me tomorrow for "Courageous Love Isn't Critical."



*****************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.

Love Courageously Challenge - Day One (Let's Begin)

Are you ready to release control and embrace courageous love for the next 28 days? Want to see the amazing difference that courageous love makes? Come along!

Today, let us start from right where we are and take one step forward to a better tomorrow.

What does it mean to love courageously?

Courageous love is unconditional - not based on behavior or achievements but ever-present and given freely.

Courageous love is not fearful - it doesn't worry about spoiling the recipient. Love doesn't spoil.

Courageous love is patient, kind, attentive, welcoming, forgiving, respectful, encouraging, bold, faithful, understanding, protective, and responsible.

Courageous love means we release our need for power and embrace the power of love. 

Loving courageously does not mean we don't correct or teach. Loving courageously does not mean that we sacrifice our own needs. Courageous love respects everyone, including ourselves.

During this challenge, we will first look at the different characteristics of courageous love. Later, we'll learn together how to love courageously through all types of behaviors and problems. We'll learn how to grow patience and be steady with our emotions, how to curb criticism and offer encouragement, and much more. And we'll learn it all for free this month!


Here is an excerpt from the original post that sparked the Courageous Love challenge:

We've always been told to love conditionally - to offer love, affection, and kindness only when children are doing what we like.

What would our world look like if we parents became the givers of unconditional love at all times? We worry that, if we soothe the crying baby, she'll never learn to sleep. We worry if we give attention to a tantruming child, he'll learn to throw fits for attention. We worry if we don't punish the child who hits, he'll end up violent. We worry if we don't squash that bad attitude, she'll get out of control. We worry if we don't come down hard on his bad decisions, he'll end up behind bars.

Worry is based in fear. And where there is fear, love cannot thrive.

I suggest keeping a journal over the next 28 days to write down your thoughts, ideas, and progress. My hope is that, through this challenge, we learn to grow wiser, live fuller, and to love better.

Ready to get started?

Today, begin your journal after reading this post and the original Love Courageously post. Write down the thoughts and feelings that came up for you while reading. Journal why you are choosing to commit to this challenge.

Invite a friend! Two heads are better than one, right? Grab someone to do this challenge with you. Encourage each other along the way.

I'll see you tomorrow with "Courageous Love is Patient."



*****************************************************

Read the post that inspired the Love Courageously Challenge.

If you'd like a wearable daily reminder, pick up a Love Courageously reminder band in my shop (available in the US only, free shipping). *limited number available*

Order my bestselling book for more ways to embrace love.