Leandra Medine's Blog, page 690

MR Round Table: The Word “Slut”

Leandra Medine: The reason I wanted to have a conversation about the word “slut” is because of the Halloween story we published last Friday and the response it garnered. Readers seemed to be frustrated with our liberal use of the word. So I wanted to know how everyone feels about it, whether or not women should feel comfortable using and what it means to everyone.

Kayla Tanenbaum: Whenever I hear the word “slut” I think of what Tina Fey said in Mean Girls: “Women need to stop calling each other sluts because it gives men permission to call us sluts.” I guess my own issue with the word “slut” is that I’m sick of politicizing people’s sexual activity. Part because that happens to women far more than it happens to men, but also in general, it’s 2014.

Cristina Couri: Right. Making them feel inferior for something that gives them pleasure.

KT: It takes two people to do something and usually only one person gets the “blame.” I think sexuality and morality are not the same thing but we just have this obsession with conflating them.

Amelia Diamond: I think I have a double-sided point of view here. Similar to when we talked about the word “bitch,” the word “slut,” for me, and how I react to it, depends on context and who said it. I think I’m far more likely to be offended if a guy uses it than if a girl does, but I’m also quite liberal about what offends me and what doesn’t. I think I have a higher threshold for being offended, and I personally err on the side of, “If it’s funny, it’s funny.” I know that’s not always a popular POV to take, and also that online, things can be misconstrued if you don’t know someone’s personality.

“Slutty Halloween costume” has become such a part of our vernacular. I’m not sure in the case of this story that it was only including just women. I think men can have “slutty” Halloween costumes. A guy can wear a thong, he’s wearing fewer clothes, too.

LM: But that’s always considered funny. That’s not considered sexy.

AD: I’m just saying that in the context of this article it was semi-opened ended. For me, that’s not a place where I’m going to get offended, or where I’m going to choose to get offended. I always talk about the fact that I think in this day and age, everyone is hyper politically-correct, and I think that’s opened the table for lots of good and positive discussions, but at the same time, I think people get riled up about a word that doesn’t have to rile them up.

Charlotte Fassler: I think there’s also a difference between using “slut” to describe a manner of dress versus describing a person’s actions. I found people were much more liberal to use the word when they’re discussing clothing or dress rather than behavior. That’s an important distinction to me.

AD: I agree, and I know that one of the commenters said something along the lines of, “Isn’t the MR ethos supposed to be whether it’s a bra and a thong and a pair of hiking boots or a turtleneck and sweatpants, you do you?” Yes. Wear what you want. There shouldn’t be rules placed on how women dress. I understand that, but I agree with what you’re saying too: there’s a difference between saying someone’s dressing slutty and someone is a slut.

LM: In rereading the story, I took issue with her saying, “If you want to unleash your inner slut for the night…” because the word used outside a descriptive costume that’s been co-opted a million times over isn’t easy on me. It’s sort of like the word “cunt” in that I cringe at it.To be a slut is to have loose sexual morals, right? I find it hugely inappropriate for a man to call a woman a slut.

AD: It means to have loose sexual morals and that there’s someone wrong with that.

LM: The fundamental problem is the connotation.

KT: It’s a gendered word as much as we want to be “liberal” about it.

LM: If we’re talking about “slut” relative to a term like “pimp,” even though I know pimp does not mean the same thing…

AD: Or player, but I think guys get called sluts all the time.

LM: It’s complimentary

KT: I think calling a guy a slut and calling a girl a slut have very different consequences. As much as we want to say, “Men can be sluts! Woohoo!” It’s just not the same conversation. It’s not equal. It doesn’t have the same repercussions. Calling a man a slut, however you mean it, even if you mean to say he sleeps around, is just not as heavy, not as big of a deal as a woman who sleeps around. It’s interesting that you bring up the word “cunt.” I recently read this article about groups of people reclaiming slurs used against them — I think women can take back “cunt.”

CF: I think that’s an interesting conversation because that point has tried to be made. Like, “bitch,” there was this feminist reclaiming of bitch.

KT: As a feminist, I can reclaim “cunt.” I really hate the word “slut.”

CC: I’ve heard both of you, and I’m not sure if you’ve even realized it, but it’s been said that it’s okay for a woman to say it, and that for one of your girlfriends to call you a slut bothers you less. I think that right there is problematic because that makes it acceptable for men.

LM: I don’t like calling other women “bitches” either. I think it’s a silly term. I think there are other words that we should learn to use to properly characterize our emotions. “Bitch” is not an all-encompassing word; it shouldn’t be treated that way. I feel that’s true of “slut” too. It’s become so ubiquitous that it’s taken on so many different definitions. The problem is we are not necessarily properly identifying the descriptions we’re trying to convey. That’s my thing with slut. I don’t like the word, I don’t like the use of it.

CC: I feel like you could just as easily use the word “promiscuous” to describe an item of clothing or an outfit.

KT: But that implies that in some way what you wear makes certain activities acceptable or unacceptable. If a girl is dressed “promiscuously” and goes to a club, she can hook up with no one, she can have sex with two people. The outfit shouldn’t make a difference.

CF: “Promiscuous” is an action. It’s a descriptor. It connotes a certain sense of values.

Esther Levy: I’m not put off by the word “slut” at all. I don’t know if it’s because of the reclaiming of it or maybe subconsciously I’m just desensitized to the word. I feel like “slut” now is used so playfully, if someone called me a slut, obviously I don’t think I’m a slut; I don’t do things that would qualify my being a slut, but I wouldn’t be offended. I don’t know… I don’t think calling someone a “slut” necessarily means that they do promiscuous things or that they’re dressed in that way.

LM: Here’s the thing about a woman owning the term “slut”: to own that term would mean that you are sexually promiscuous, and if you’re comfortable with that, that’s totally fine, but think of it this way: I’m comfortable as a Jewish person but I am certainly not trying to reclaim the term “kike” because the connotation is always going to be hugely vulgar. I feel like a woman trying to recapture the term slut is almost regressive.

CC: It’s a label, like anything else.

KT: The problem with the word is that it still means, at its core, that a “sexually loose” woman is somehow wrong. It’s not. It’s not wrong for men, and it’s not wrong for women. I feel like you could apply it to whatever you want and say it’s not what you mean, but it is what the word means. I don’t think it can ever be separated from that, and that’s why I’ll never reclaim the word “slut.”

EL: Why is “cunt” different?

KT: To me, “cunt” is a horrible word for a body part.

AD: It’s a demoralizing word for a body part.

KT: It’s a horrendous word, but “slut” is not a thing that exists. It’s a behavior. And what does it even mean? How many guys do you sleep with before you’re a slut? Five? Eleven? Five in two years but not four? It doesn’t mean anything.

CF: It’s kind of a term that girls discover in high school. I think, as girls get older, to a degree, it feels passé to hear women calling each other sluts.

EL: It feels silly.

KT: This might be an angry feminist thing to say, but when women call each other sluts they’re agreeing with the patriarchal morality and it implies that you are okay with the way that a woman’s sexuality is perceived and controlled.

AD: I think there are words that, because of the context in which we first heard them, really resonate with us. Each word is personal and I think that’s what makes this hard for me, especially as someone who has to edit stories. It can be completely opinion-based. I think what’s so hard online is that so many opinions are put forward for public consumption, and you hope that the one you put forward is the “popular” opinion.

I have a friend who wears the lesser side of clothing in Halloween costumes. She has a banging body; she’s confident. She feels good when she does it. She has so much fun with it, and she respects herself. You have to agree that there’s something about women and Halloween. I remember when I was in college, there was a girl who walked around in lingerie, and put on wings…

Sometimes there are words that get lost in translation and for better or for worse, they are softened.

LM: It’s funny that a word like “asshole” which by definition is gross, is a funny, descriptive noun to use on your friends. Is this because it’s not a gendered word?

KT: And “douchebag.” There’s an article in GQ this month about how “douchebag” can only apply to a man and “bitch” can only apply to a woman. I thought it was interesting.

AD: I would totally call my friend a douche, but that’s what I mean. I’m not calling you a feminine hygiene product that doctors don’t approve of because it gives you yeast infections. It’s taken on a new definition. It means you’re being a douche. But then again, it’s hard to offend me, but when you do…

LM: Again, that’s you not using words to appropriately appraise emotions.

CF: People’s word-choices are a bit over-scrutinized. But at the same time, there’s no restraint. Anyone can say anything and post it on the Internet. Words have less meaning but people are letting them carry more weight.

EL: Because everyone can be a critic.

KT: But I don’t feel like the slut thing is an issue of political correctness. I wasn’t offended by the Man Repeller article, I think she was making a distinction between women who were having fun with it for themselves and women who were just doing it because it’s a thing that is done. Without being dramatic, I think it’s bad for women to call each other that. It’s bad for the cause.

CF: But what about websites like Slutever, which is run by a feminist?

KT: That website is empowering, though.

EL: In reclaiming the word, you’re saying that to be slutty, to be promiscuous, is whatever. It’s not a big deal. It can be empowering, but also, like Amelia, I think to be PC all the time is exhausting.

AD: I always think that with these words and with these discussions, what we should be paying attention to—the word is there, it’s not like we can ignore it—but the larger issue is the context. The word slut pisses some people off, some people think it’s hilarious, some people can’t even hear it. What’s important is behind the word, there’s the issue and the conversations that the issue presents. The emotions and the implications.

KT: It’s funny because I’ve referred to myself on multiple occasions as a “bronzer slut” because I always buy bronzer. I have no problem with that, when you attach the word to mean that you’re always doing something or doing something excessively. My issue is when you problematize women having multiple sexual partners.

AD: So it’s not the word for you, it’s the association.

CC: To take it a step further, it’s that men never want to be with a girl that has slept with a certain number of other men. Why? What’s at the root of that? Men don’t want to be where several men have been before?

KT: There’s this poem written by a nun in the 16th century, which says, “Men, you hate women because they give you what you want, and you resent them if they don’t give you what you want.” We’re fucked either way. To think that a nun wrote that so long ago and we’re still sitting here thinking, “Is a woman a bad person if she’s slept with a certain number of people?” blows my mind.

CC: It’s interesting how differently we all seem to feel.

LM: How do you feel about it being attached to a mode of dress on Halloween?

CF: It’s interesting that Kayla brought up Mean Girls because for me “slutty” is tied to “slutty Halloween costumes.” You know how they say, “Halloween is the one time of year a girl can dress like a complete slut and no one can say anything.” It’s kind of a two-fold thing.

KT: And it’s such a weird phenomenon. Are women doing it because it’s the one night of the year they can get away with it and they secretly want to do it all the time? Or is it not empowering but because it’s expected that it’s what you do.

LM: I’m voting #2. My inclination is to never wear anything tight and short. Never, ever.

CC: I know, I actually saw your body for the first time on Halloween.

AD: How did you feel when you wore that?

LM: Unusual. I wouldn’t have gone out like that. I don’t feel like myself. I feel the most me when I’m in clothes that are sized too big. I wonder if we were to abandon our convictions all together about the term “slut,” and never let these conversations occur, never feel offended by the use of the term, if our problems as women and among feminists would still exist. Our story on basic bitch dressing elicited a similar conversation — if no one had taken issue with the term, if no women were to take issues with these terms at all, would we be better or worse off?

KT: I don’t think the word is the problem. I think it’s the misogynistic attitude that the word contains. If the world weren’t already sexist, “slut” wouldn’t be as much of a problem.

AD: Do we institute a Man Repeller Mandate? No more use of the word “slut” in any context?

LM: That’s a good mandate.

CF: There’s never an instance where the word “slut” needs to be used.

LM: That’s the point I was trying to make earlier — figure out what you’re trying to say. This is my problem with the word “bitch,” too.

CF: There’s just never a context where that’s the only word that can be used.

KT: But that’s making it seem like our issue is with lazy writing. My issue with the word “slut” is that you should have a much more diverse lexicon.

CF: But by not using it, you are taking an issue with the word.

LM: No more slut on Man Repeller. The community spoke, and we’re listening.

Shake it Off Like It’s 1989

Who cares if you’ve already seen this 500 times today? It can’t get old, and nothing will take away the joy that is Taylor Swift’s “rapping” portion of the world’s catchiest song set to these spandex’d athletes at the 2:24 mark.**

Nothing.

**Update. The video has been removed. As Lao Tsu said in Te Tao Ching, “The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.”

That said, you can kind of DIY your own version by playing “Shake it Off” in a different, hidden browser at the same time as this video (which you should start around 1:10):

And then realize that not only does Taylor narrate your life whether you want her to or not, but this music video does too. See below:

When you fit into really tight high-waisted jeans even if it meant your friend had to sit on your gut like you’re a human suitcase to get them to zip:

When you have the perfect comeback and you’re like, “BYE”:

Answering the door once you become friends with the Seamless guy:

Me and my friends when we see three hot guys at the bar:

Me and my best friend when we nail a joke together:

When “bae” texts you first:

When it’s Friday:

Gifs via BuzzFeed

Are You Couch-Coasting This Weekend?

The weekend is here, and so is the cold weather, which means sitting on your couch from approximately 7 PM tonight until 11:59 PM Sunday evening is looking like the best itinerary your datebook has seen since “grandma’s bachelorette party” was etched in ink.

Movies are great, but sometimes attention spans are short (not to mention the need for multiple pee breaks and constant pausing to answer the door for the 8th Seamless delivery of the day, which can ruin a 3-hour musical tragedy). So instead, behold, three TV shows for you to binge-watch on Hulu, Netflix, On Demand, through your neighbor’s window or via real time programming should you never actually leave the couch once Monday starts either.

(#1st3commentersget2borrowmyNetflixpassword – JK)

Nathan For You (Comedy Central)

Nathan Fielder is a comedic genius who, in his own words, “graduated from one of Canada’s top business schools with really good grades” and is now using his knowledge to “help struggling small business owners make it in this competitive world.” Each 22 minute episode revolves around Borat-type situations in which Nathan plays an off-kilter version of himself. He approaches struggling business owners with his dumb (yet ingenious) ideas in the hope of improving their sales.

In season 2’s “Dumb Starbucks” episode, Nathan convinces the owner of a struggling independent coffee shop to parody the mammoth coffee chain in order to increase sales. Dumb Starbucks made local and national news headlines, unbeknownst to those reporting that Nathan Fielder had been behind the whole thing. Nathan For You has been renewed for a third season, and seasons one and two are available on Amazon Prime  for your binging pleasure.

Transparent (Amazon Prime)

Transparent is an Amazon Prime original series starring super talents Jeffrey Tambour and Gaby Hoffmann. A quirky LA family must learn to deal with their father (Jeffrey Tambour) as he transitions from male to female. I won’t say too much, other than that this show is touching, funny and uncomfortable in all the right places.

Bojack Horseman (Netflix)

Netflix can now add “animated satire of Hollywood” to its list of conquests. The show’s eponymous star is a former beloved sitcom actor who’s still reeling over the cancellation of his show, Horsin’ Around, over ten years ago. And yes, he is half horse, half man. He’s also oddly attractive despite his animal torso and fondness for breakfast foods that include vodka and tranquilizers.

If you experience random pangs of longing for Daria, than Bojack Horseman is the show for you.

Now, super important because I am blazing through these: what are you watching?

Writer’s Club Pow Wow: Why Do or Don’t You Wear Makeup?

It’s that fancy time of week again where we’re not just out of shit to say but confident that whatever you’ve had to, or will have to say is at least 27 degrees more interesting than what we’ve said or, you know, will say. Up today: why do or don’t you wear makeup? Last April, I published a story that detailed why I tend not to wear makeup, the chief reasons being self-comfort and laziness. I’ve thought about writing a follow up called “And When I Do Wear Makeup, Here’s Why,” but resolved that the bottom line would have looked the same and boiled down to confidence, comfort and my value of self.

Also, I’m sick of talking to myself so I would love to hear from you — why do or don’t you wear makeup? If you do, is it simply because you like how it makes you look? Or is there a larger nod to your ability to self-manipulate at play? If you don’t, is it because you, too, are lazy? Or are you making a much larger statement about the way in which women are perceived in popular culture, positioning yourself as a matriarch of counter culture with every wrinkle that defines itself and eye bag that inflates.

Maybe I’m wrong all together — I hope I’m wrong all together. That’s why this series is here. So tell us, in ~500 words, why do or don’t you wear makeup?

The deadline for submission is next Friday (11/14) at 12PM. Submissions should be emailed to write@manrepeller.com and if you’re feeling particularly social, share your progress using the hashtag #MRWritersClub.

Image shot by Michael Flores for Twelv Magazine

5 Things That Are Still Funny

There are jokes that are meant to wear out and die, and then there are those that surpass the theory of Darwinism and thrive. These are this week’s survivors, alive and well and doing the damn thing:

1) Gizoogle 

Gizoogle was dropped up in 2005, went away up in 2011 n’ then came back from tha joke cemetery up in May 2013. Now, over one year later, it remains just as funky ta copy/paste yo’ entire MBA dissertation ta re-read it up in tha voice of Snoop Ta Tha D-O-Double-Gizzle. Especially when mah playas is tryin ta work.

2) That time everything was big.

Tell me you did  not look at this and laugh, and then tell me you did not just glance back again and laugh. [BuzzFeed]

3) Clickhole

Current quizzes include such gems as, “How Well Do You Know the Words to ‘Hey Ya’?” and, “Who Gives a Fuck?” Also on today’s Clickhole roster is an article titled, “What To Do After The Job Interview When You’re Standing In A Closet That You Thought Was The Exit.”

4) Bridger Winegar

Two recent gems includes:

I feel like self-control is one of those things that works better in theory

— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) October 15, 2014

Everything changed for me when I realized you don’t have to go on a picnic to eat food off the ground — Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) November 4, 2014

5 ) When Oprah Released the Bees

This > Her lame “Favorite Things” list of 2014.

Ok. We did it you guys. We reached 5 PM on a Thursday, which means it’s almost Friday. Now share your shit that’s still funny below.

Image shot by Mario Testino from his book Let Me In

Book Club: At the Emperor’s Table

Mr. Valentino loves beautiful things.

This is a point he brings home several times while we are seated on a couch that could be mistaken for a piece of modern art, discussing his new photo book, “At The Emperor’s Table,” published by Assouline and set to release this month. The panoply of exquisite imagery from the dining tables of his multiple homes is being called a celebration of luxury and beauty by its foreword writer, the great André Leon Talley.

“Fashion today is not only what you wear on your back. It’s the glass you serve your water in,” Talley says before he explains that, “When you’re in the world of Valentino, it is special. It’s not a pompous world. This was not a pompous book for me to participate in. It’s a book that is a celebration of the life of a man who loves luxury and beauty, and has high standards — and there are very few left in the world today, in the world of style and fashion.”

We’re in an apartment on 58th street replete with floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook Manhattan. Mr. Talley is seated to Mr. Valentino’s left, explaining with the enthusiasm and conviction of a football coach who has just won the Super Bowl that “old school is new school, and it’s good school,” to echo Mr. Valentino’s modus operandi, which includes:

Colorful tablecloths;

And underskirts;

Intimate stories about Elizabeth Taylor;

And dear, departed friend, Jackie Kennedy Onassis;

Spectacularly labored china, which, Mr. Talley calls “the poetry” of Valentino’s tables;

Strategic seating: the oldest or closest friend always sits to his right while the most important guest takes the left-side seat;

And, perhaps most importantly, a fundamental sense of respect for beauty.

Valentino reiterates one of Talley’s early points: “I was quite afraid when I came out with the book…because I thought it was a show-off book, showing my things which I’ve collected for a long, long time. And after, of course, thinking very carefully about it, I realized all the things I needed — 30, 35 and 40 years collecting one by one — [are] things I’ve always loved, so I said to myself at the end, ‘But why should I be not happy. Why should I be worried if people criticize? Why?’ Because I did all those things on my own. I bought it on my own, with my money, with my creations.”

And you believe him. There is an unflinching sense of earnestness and humility in his tone. In spite of the decadent photos that appear in his book, in spite of the lifestyle that Mr. Valentino has committed himself to, he is not just acutely self-aware but seems to be mindful of the vicissitudes of lifestyles that exist outside of his own. This is proven when he cuts Mr. Talley off while he is describing the spread for the pre-marital luncheon of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West at Mr. Valentino’s chateau to ask if we are shocked.

Shocked?

“The Russian plates, amazing food. You are not fatigued? Doing what I did, creating clothes, I put together my mind in objects and antiques, for this reason I am this way now. It’s not because I want to impress the bourgeois.”

Far more impressive, frankly, is that we aren’t fatigued. None of his anecdotes, his stories, the likening of his studied couture gowns to his extravagantly set tables register as outwardly gluttonous. Not the mention of a fruit bowl made entirely from sugar. Or the twelve ceramic swans that decorate his most important serving tables. Or the mere fact that his most casual wear includes cableknit cashmere sweaters from goats I’d guess he’s been herding on his properties and corduroy pants made from the most sophisticated woven tuft.

Maybe that’s simply because you get the sense that this corner of New York maintains the last iota of glamour left in the world we occupy, and that’s chiefly because of the suited man who sits on the couch that could be mistaken for a piece of modern art.

Photography by Oberto Gili for Assouline

A Walk in the Parka

A very good test to tell if you’re an adult yet:

Do you have a winter coat?

A) Yes

B) No

Answer key: If you chose mostly As, congratulations! You are an adult. If you chose mostly Bs, you are Peter Pan!

Here’s the thing, Peter: green tights will only keep you warm for so long. The sweater that you’ve been layering over a thermal and under some flimsy leather jacket is doing nothing save for giving your grandmother yet another reason to send you weird, all-caps texts about how she’s worried about you, then signing it, “Love, Grandma” — as if she were some stranger you gave your number to at a bar who cared very much about your vegetable intake and temperature.

Though to her credit, you never know.

It’s easy to put off the winter coat search primarily because it always feels too soon. November’s already 6 days in and despite the alarming abundance of Christmas decorations, you’re probably only just starting to officially retire the last of your ambiguously-summery clothes. This is the month for telling everyone you’re going to start going to the gym then not going, for drinking pumpkin beers on Sundays and praying your neighbor will rake leaves into a pile that you can obliterate. It’s not for coats! There’s no snow! Winter isn’t real, it can’t be.

But it is, Peter. And it’s coming for you.

This is where the parka comes in. It’s a season-easer. Parkas do everything a “coat” is supposed to do: protect you from the elements, seal-in body heat, look nice, cover up a weird outfit, offer a place for your hands when you’re feeling awkward, etc., but a parka doesn’t feel as dramatic as a coat. Buying a parka isn’t a whole big To-Do. Coats feel like a process — they often require that you think long and hard about them; that you factor in who you’re “going to be” that winter, or if you’re prepared to sleep in a yurt for a month or two to subsidize said purchase.

A parka, however, is easy. There’s none of that stress, no need for yurt-sleeping. No feeling of lifelong commitment to a particular style, although Aritzia, Canadian castle of clothes and parkas, has a whole assortment divided into 5 different categories (classic, city, military, expedition and eco) in case you like options but loathe overwhelming menus and too many decisions, like at the Cheesecake Factory.

The best thing about parkas is that you can wear one now without looking like, “Whoa hey winter kid, what’s up?” At the same time, they’re made for both the season we’re in and the one that comes next, which makes you, dear Peter…an adult.

In partnership with ARITZIA

Why Cook for the Season

As popular culture becomes further imbued with eating clean, remaining healthy and mindfully selecting that which enters our bodies, one important element toward this pursuit of a healthy lifestyle is still consistently overlooked: how to eat in season. Here, Seattle-based Brittany Wright of Wright Kitchen explains the importance of eating in season and takes bad ass photos that miraculously make radish look as delectable as cheesecake.  

I recently attended dinner at a dimly lit restaurant in downtown Seattle. The chef, who was also the butcher and farmer, explained the ingredients in her dishes in great detail. She’d foraged mushrooms by hand earlier that day; her tomatoes were on their way out but she’d use the last of them for a soup she was about to serve; the eggs and meat, which she raised, were used to make the soup, too. Impressively, every fruit and vegetable presented was handpicked from her farm. This underscored how valuable it is to eat in season.

I’ve been watching the last bits of summer disappear in local markets. Last week, corn and blueberries went out. Carrots, leeks, cauliflower, greens like kale and several varieties of squash have taken their place. This is something you might not realize stepping into your local grocery shop, where everything is made so available, so here are two things to look out for:

1. Price. When the prices go up, that typically means the produce you’re interacting with is not in season. People tend to believe that the cost of food is higher when being purchased directly from a farm, or while in season but it’s quite the opposite — it’s only when you begin to buy out-of-season that prices inflate.

On this note, too, in-season and local eating can mean less money spent on fuel for delivery. You’ll notice that some of your food has been shipped across the world to you. What you might overlook is that someone had to harvest, pack up and transport that nourishment to your city, offload and distribute it to the correct locations, and then put it out for you to purchase.

2. Abundance. This is typically a good thing — the more there is of something, the more likely it is that the item in question is in season.

3. Taste. Foods that are in season tend to retain a much more powerful and poignant taste than ones that are being grown out of season. Blueberries today, for example, will taste considerably duller than the ones that are grown in the peak of summer.

It’s important to keep in mind what grows seasonally because this allows us to gain higher nutritional worth from the foods we’re consuming — eating out of season tends to mean you’re only retaining a portion of the food’s nutrients. It also provides an opportunity for farmers to honestly and healthfully harvest.

Particular fruits that are currently in season: pomegranates, apples, pears, and fresh cranberries.

Vegetables that are currently in season: Beets, Bok Choy, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage, Carrots, Cauliflower, Celeriac, Celery, Greens, Green Beans, Leeks, Lettuce, Mushrooms, Onions, Parsnip, Peppers, Potatoes, Pumpkins, Shallots, Sunchokes, Winter Squashes

Going forward, I will be highlighting one fruit or vegetable each week on Man Repeller, cataloging its nutritional benefits and providing a recipe for us to try. Stay tuned.

Ask a French Girl

At some point a girl has to face not only the mirror, but her genealogy, and accept that she is not French.

(Unless she is French.)

For out-of-country Francophiles, however, coming to terms with this fact in no way softens the blows of the daily minutiae: hair that doesn’t automatically muss itself artfully yet casually, greetings that are awkward and full of accidental cheek-missing, mouth-kissing fumbles. But just because someone will never have a Parisian accent or look appropriately dressed in every situation due to said accent doesn’t mean that she can’t absorb the advice of an actual French woman (who still doesn’t get what the fuss is all about).

That’s what we decided to do. Meet Laura, our resident French friend who works in fashion, lives in Manhattan and navigates the same world as us, only through a decidedly different lens. This week we asked her about first dates in NYC; next round she’ll answer what you’d like to know, so leave your questions in the comments below. She’s like Dear Abby and Google combined, only way more French.

MR: How is dating different in NYC than in Paris?

Laura: The concept of dating different people at once doesn’t exist in Paris.

MR: What’s the best date spot in NYC?

Laura: Who cares about the spot when the date captivates you?

MR: Ideal date?

Laura: Wine and conversation.

MR: Dress up for a first date, or dress down?

Laura: Dress down.

MR: In your mind, what does the ideal first date outfit look like?

Laura: White shirt, denim, favorite watch and shoes made for walking.

MR: What’s the best thing someone could say to you on a date?

Laura: “What are you doing this weekend?”

MR: What’s the worst?

Laura: “Are you seeing other people?” I am French, I dont understand how you can see more than one person at once.

MR: What’s better: kale stuck between your teeth, or having everything on your fork fall off just as you’re about to take a bite?

Laura: Kale stuck in my teeth while opening my mouth to take a bite and everything falls of my fork.

MR: What do you do if you’re on a date, and you really have to pee, but you have already peed three times?

Laura: So let me guess this straight…you are on a date, and you know the person since you are having dinner together. If you want to use the bathroom five times, you do so. Just say it and stand up.

MR: Do you follow rules about more-than kissing after a first date?

Laura: It takes two to play tango.

MR: What about a high five?

Laura: Equivalent to a peace sign.

MR: Do you follow any post-date protocol? Do you text, let him text, believe he should he call? Should you be the one to text/call?

Laura: I was brought up to always thank whoever invites me to dinner.

MR: What if you don’t get butterflies, but don’t hate him/her, either — and that person asks you out again. Should you go?

Laura: You should always give a second chance.

I only have one problem about all of this, though. I don’t date.

Humpday Happiness, Vol. 2

Another week, another Wednesday, another hump to get over. Good thing we’re in this together, huh? Let’s get grateful!

1. Sleeping with a heavy comforter and an open window

2. No shave November — that goes for legs, too, right?

3. The Kendrick Lamar/Taylor Swift friendship. He covered “Shake it off,” and she turned around and rapped (yup) a verse of his. Listen to both and tell me on a scale from 9-10 how badly they need to collaborate.

4. Kanye took a break from ranting and fashion show viewing, and made some music. He produced Theophilus London’s new song, “Tribe,” and it’s awesome. The video’s not too shabby, either. Watch here

5. When the bass takes forever to drop so you kind of forget it about it, and then it does drop, and you’re like WHOA, that’s the bass

6. Oprah has released her famous “Favorite Things” list, and it is unique: smoked salmon, dog beds, weird hats, and cheese made the cut.

7. When your phone is on its last legs but somehow stays alive until you’ve made your plans, had your conversation and posted an Instagram photo

8. Finding lipstick or money in a purse you haven’t used for a while

9. Realizing that whatever you just consumed is really good for you even though you weren’t trying

10. When Miuccia Prada decided that she trusted us enough to design our own shoes

11. This Japanese hamster who tends bar

What’s making you happy today?

Feature Originally from Harper’s Bazaar