Leandra Medine's Blog, page 49

Trust Me, Try It: A Pill Remover that Basically Renews Your Sweaters

The product: Steamery’s Pilo Fabric Shaver

The price: $50

The reason: Last May I bought this fancy cashmere sweater by The Row from Bergdorf Goodman during what I guess was an end of season sale even though, again, it was May. I wore it home from the store because I’d been wearing only a white tank top that day even though it was like, 65 degrees. My nipples were showing and I was freezing and I’m pretty sure I was also hungover, so, really, I didn’t have a choice. I put it on and thought to myself: LUXURY. Then on my merry way I went with a straw bag on my arm, down a flight of stairs to the downtown-bound 6-train. When I got home, I put my bag down and noticed that a huge block of the side of my sweater had pilled like a poodle’s mane post-shower. It was curly and limp-looking and I wanted to punch myself for not knowing better than to let a straw bag rub up against a new cashmere sweater.

But there was nothing I could do, you know, save for pick at the pills (or balls, whatever you prefer to call them) with my finger nails, so that’s what I did and from that day on, whenever I wore it, people would ask what happened to the side of my sweater as if they had never seen knitwear pill before. It was pretty fucking annoying if I’m being really honest. But then! One fateful evening during the purgatory period between Christmas and New Years, I was on my couch, head lodged between two pillows, brain turning to mush as I tapped voraciously through the platter of Instagram stories roping me in further when zing! a public service announcement appeared in the form of a series of before and after, 15-second videos, to tell of a pill remover less analog than my fingers.

It was Steamery’s pilo fabric shaver, and my friend Rachel was chanting its praise.

All you have to do is press a button and run it over the impacted areas on your sweater, your boyfriend’s sweater, your boucle coat–whatever. It’s like magic, but not, because it’s also real.

See All 1

Influenced and on impulse, I ordered one immediately and you know what I did? I saved my sweater. Delivered it from criticism, removed the pills and did not look back.

Only forward, in fact, which led me to a pile of sweaters I love, but rarely wear because I’m trying to preserve them before the pills get too bad. So I doctored those, too–straight up made them new and did not look back.

Only forward, in fact, to the future me, who might never need to buy another new sweater again.

This is all to say that if you love your sweaters but they pill too much, don’t pick at them manually or restrict yourself by wearing them less. Don’t buy replacements, don’t drive yourself crazy. Just get this electric fabric shaver. It really, really works.

You can trust me when I say that you should definitely try it.

Photos  by Alexis Jesup of Colors Collective. Prop Styling by Rose Kennedy.

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Meet the People Rewriting the Rules of Sex

The first time I heard the term “sex positive” was in 2017. I was having drinks with a close girlfriend when we began divulging some of our kinks. As the conversation got louder, funnier, and more x-rated, she suggested I join “Sex Positive Universe for Womxn,” a Facebook group and dedicated safe space founded by sexuality doula Isabella Frappier. “It’s kind of beautiful,” my friend said. “Women ask questions about dating, share lingerie brands, swap gynecologist recommendations…. You’ll love it.”

She was right. After I was accepted (joining required filling out a brief and straightforward form), I spent hours scrolling through the myriad comments, pictures, and questions from fellow members. People asked about alternative birth control methods, shared favorite sex toys, and posted pictures of themselves on “Feelin’ Your Selfie Friday.” It was the estrogen-filled refuge I didn’t know I needed. The repressed 13-year-old in me was finally vindicated.

A lot has happened since I watched Allison Hannigan detail her adventures at band camp (which I was actually kind of into).

As a teen, I begged my friends to share their first-kiss stories, and was the first to instigate games of “Never Have I Ever.” I once swapped out the Madeline VHS for American Pie at a Blockbuster so that I could watch the infamous pie sex scene after my parents had gone to bed. My copy of White Oleander was worn and tattered from how often I read the chapter where Astrid loses her virginity. Like many teenagers, sex was my private obsession. Eventually I realized the majority of my friends were also interested in sex—and, like me, they just felt awkward and stupid talking about it.

Tiana Peters is one of the people challenging the old guard. As a self-described “conscious hedonist,” she’s dedicated to destigmatizing alternative lifestyles.

The term “sex positive” was first attributed to a controversial doctor named Wilhelm Riech who, in the 1930s, posited that “some societies view sexual expression as essentially good and healthy, while others have a generally negative view of sexuality and seek to repress and control libido.” (You can guess where Americans netted out back then.) Over the next 90 years, his ideas would be adapted and reinterpretted through many cultural movements, like the sexual revolution of the ’60s and each wave of feminism. But mainstream attitudes around sex have lagged behind, making teens like me feel like freaks for having normal sexual curiosity as recently as the 2010s.

When I joined Frappier’s Facebook group and started paying more attention to the work being done to change the conversation, a newer, more modern definition of sex positivity emerged for me. With the progress made in the LGBTQ space, a broadening scope of sexual expression and gender identity, and some much needed conversations regarding consent and harassment, mainstream attitudes toward sex are becoming increasingly open and fluid. A lot has happened since I watched Allison Hannigan detail her adventures at band camp (which I was actually kind of into), and even more is happening now. Below, some of the forces shaping the future of sex positivity.

Sex-ed but without the bananas (unless you’re into that)

One of the reasons my friends and I were so hesistant to talk about sex is because we grew up with a sex education that was either lacking critical information or steeped in stigma. Inside the classroom, we learned about prophylactics and reproductive organs, and outside of the classroom, the conversation was clouded with patriarchal and heterosexual norms our young minds couldn’t parse. I ignored my first girl crush because I had historically liked boys and hadn’t registered that bisexuality was an option. Many of my girlfriends and I were persuaded into our first sexual experiences. We knew about condoms but we didn’t understand consent, sexual expression, or self-love.

But modern sex education is getting a queer-friendly and comprehensive makeover. California initiatives like Informed and In Charge and Teen Talk provide schools with curriculums focused on respect, discovery, sexual orientation, gender expression, and qualities of healthy relationships—all things my 13-year-old self (and all kids of my generation) could have seriously benefited from. And where structural solutions lack, a generation of YouTubers have cropped up to fill the gaps. (If you click that link prepare to lose a couple hours.)

“Sex positivity asserts that we deserve to make our sexual choices without fear of repercussions,” says Lila Donnollo, the creator and host of the 5-star rated horizontal with lila, which broadcasts intimate conversations recorded while lying down.

Sex ed 2.0 isn’t just for kids, either. At 29, I find myself learning the things I once yearned to know, this time through podcasts (The Ersties Podcast and Horizontal with Lila), Instagram accounts (Raquel Savage), and Facebook groups. The conversation is about more than just products and pleasure—it’s about treating and having open discussions surrounding sexual health (like STIs, endometriosis, PCOS), declining sex drives, or sexual trauma. Sexual embodiment programs, like that of Cara Kovacs, are dedicated to helping clients reclaim ownership over their sexuality. Much of Kovac’s work focuses on changing any limiting sexual beliefs a client might be subconsciously latching onto.

“Many of us don’t have a positive relationship with our bodies, or we think that something about our body is not normal or good enough,” Kovacs tells me. “The basis for this narrative is the whole ‘I’m not worthy of love’ idea, and we can change that.”

Everyone’s talking about sex, and it feels good

Because our education is expanding, it’s becoming easier and more common to have casual conversations about sex. This can be especially powerful when it seeps into public discourse; when I saw The Incendiaries author R.O. Kwan come out as bisexual via Twitter and Dan Levy explain that he liked “the wine, not the label” on Schitt’s Creek, I felt my own vocabulary, and thus my identity, expanding.

“When we have words for something, we can conceptualize it, and if we can conceptualize it, then we know there are possibilities beyond the ones we’ve been taught by church or family,” says Lila Donnollo, host of the podcast Horizontal With Lila. “So the fact that words like nonbinary and genderqueer and nonmonogamous relationship and pansexual are showing up in our media, on our streaming TV shows, in the mouths of actors and celebrities and Instagram stars, that means more and more people are being made aware.”

In other words: When we watch Orlando Bloom and Malin Akerman’s adorably awkward attempt at a threesome in Easy, it makes it easier to imagine the same for ourselves.

Katie Bianchi is a member of the Shrill Collective production team, a theatre company dedicated to giving female and non-bianary voices a platform to share their artistic perspectives. “Sex positivity is a radical action,” she says. “Accept your sexual desires and those of others, practice consent, and remember that you’re not alone out here, you’ve just got to find your people.”

Katie Bianchi, who actively participates in NYC’s kink scene with her partner, says it’s made her relationship much stronger. “By not ignoring the fact that our sexualities are nuanced and complex, it’s helped us not look at our relationship as something fragile and temperamental.”

“It can be very frightening to talk to your partner about what you want, but it’s also deeply freeing,” says Sean Grady, who is engaged to his partner of nine years. “Our version of sex positivity looks like talking about what we want without shame and making space for each other to do so as well.” Like many, Sean and his boyfriend have reexamined their definition of monogamy. And while the tenets of sex positivity don’t require a break with tradition, they do entail partners discussing their sexuality without fear or judgement, and allowing for diverse approaches to sexual fulfillment.

Enter: the cuddle puddle

As sex talk reaches new realms, organizers have responded—by starting communities, founding programs, and throwing parties that don’t look like their forebearers. The iconic Palm Springs swinging scene is probably still thriving (more power to it), but I’m talking about events specifically focused on sensuality, connection, and consensual experimentation. Many of these events don’t require any intercourse or nudity at all: Shibari (or Japanese rope play) workshops at the Hacienda Studio in New York City and Cuddle Puddles in San Francisco focus on sensuality and intimate connection over sex. Hacienda also offers pool parties and socials where guests can simply get to know other like-minded individuals without the added pressure of trying to make something happen.

It’s a refreshing change from the soul-sucking how-to-drive-him-wild perspective so many of us grew used to as confused tweens.
Sex activist Tiana Peters says owning your sexuality comes in many forms: “Knowing your sexual health status, having open honest dialogue about desires in and out of the bedroom, and understanding and practicing consent—especially exercising your right to say no.”

“People are searching for spaces to feel vulnerable without judgement,” says Tiana Peters, an event host and activist in the sex-positive community. “That’s only going to continue as more curious people join the community or create their own.”

“It truly is a Goldilocks game,” adds Bianchi, who has attended events at Bound NYC and Hacienda Studio. “So many people are doing the same things we are, trying to figure themselves out and feel free, and it’s not always the people you’d expect.”

These communities aren’t just inclusive—they’re spearheaded by queer folks, POC, and women. It’s a refreshing change from the soul-sucking how-to-drive-him-wild perspective so many of us grew used to as confused tweens. In that way, the sex-positive movement has become a political force, encouraging people claim ownership of their sexuality instead of letting others define it.

“In order for women and queer people to feel safe expressing themselves sexually, we need straight men to be on board and acknowledge where we’re coming from historically,” Bianchi notes. “They’re absolutely vital allies, but women and the queer community are having moments right now.”

Kovacs describes this era as a reclamation of the divine feminine, or, in less woo woo terms: the idea of leading from a place of softness, emotional honesty, and having tough conversations with an open mind. This is one of the things that made me fall in love with Sex Postive Women of the Universe back in 2017; the interactions felt as though they were symobolic of a larger shift in our cultural landscape, one that is heading towards compassion and curiosity. It’s also what I’m most excited for in 2020: a broader, more inclusive conversation that untangles shame and allows us to explore our authentic selves, even if we’re still learning what that looks like.

Photos by Makeda Sandford.

The post Meet the People Rewriting the Rules of Sex appeared first on Man Repeller.

Office Apropos: 6 Winter Outfits Inspired by Instagram, Couture Week, and More

Welcome to Office Apropos Winter 2020! It’s the first Office Apropos of the decade and the second in our new publishing format, in which we share the outfits we wore to work one day at a time. Below are six outfits we wore to work on Monday.

And might I suggest checking out what we wore to work last week on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Leandra

I saw a picture of Camille Charriere in her Instagram stories wearing a blazer over a white button-down with a sweater over, a mini skirt, tights, and jewel-encrusted sandals then thought to myself: I love this. I dress like this. I want to wear this. So I swapped her skirt for jean shorts and sandals for boots eyyyy voila: an outfit to take me from breakfast in Soho to office in Noho to dinner in Flatiron with a brief interlude for kids around 5:30 p.m.

Harling

This outfit is the rare product of me actually laying (well, in this case hanging) out my clothes the night before, because I was so excited to wear this new smocked top from Doen that is technically intended for springtime but easily winterized with the help of a cardigan and wool pants. I was very stuck on what shoes to wear though, and I don’t think sneakers looked quite right, but I didn’t have anything else that was better. Please advise in the comments if you have any ideas. To their credit the sneakers did shepherd me along my morning commute quite comfortably and made me feel less stuffy when I traversed the Williamsburg bridge for a dinner later in the evening, so there’s that.

Jasmin

A friend from Turkey introduced me to this designer who makes these amazing faux fur coats and I’m nothing if not a simple-outfit-with-a-wild-outer-layer kind of person. Then surprise, surprise these jeans and boots make another appearance, it’s most definitely a uniform at the moment. Perfect for a full day in the office followed by a night at home with zero plans for literally the first time in a full week. I cooked, read, and was in bed by 10 p.m.

Maggie

You know what? When I planned this outfit in my head over the weekend, it did not involve the button-up underneath the cardigan. It didn’t even involve the button-up at all. I guess I was feeling a little ~crazy~ this morning when I woke up and just went for it. Glad I did, though. I am both warmer and prouder because of my layering techniques. Once again, my favorite pants but in the OTHER color, have made their debut. These are—and I cannot stress this enough—my new closet staple. They’ve set a new high that is hard to beat. The cardigan is my newest vintage baby. And she has a bow. Isn’t that precious? I don’t necessarily identify myself as such but with this cardigan I feel like I can be anyone I want to be. And today I want to be precious.

Mikaela

I had one of those mornings today. I was hellbent on wearing an outfit I’d envisioned the night before, only to find the real thing looked NOTHING like its profile picture (a.k.a. my imagination). Cut to 25 minutes later, every sweater & pair of pants I own is strewn across the chair I had just cleared of laundry and I am still unconvinced. In these situations, I find it best to return to the tried and true ‘fits that never fail you. Entrè vintage balloon jeans, white turtleneck, and red lip (for confidence). Doubling down on confidence boosters, I went for my fluffy, takes-up-too-much-space-on-the-L faux sherpa coat that moonlights as an office blanket.

Gyan

I woke up with a cold today, so I was feeling very uninspired while getting dressed. The only things that got me feeling slightly excited were these new Weejuns (bought on Eliz’s expert recommendation) that arrived over the weekend and this story we published today, which featured a white-socks-and-loafers Chanel couture show look. I bought this jacket from Zara when I moved to NYC in 2017 and I get asked about it so much—it’s one my favorite fall or unusually-warm-winter-day staples.

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6 Ill-Fitting Pants Tailored to Be Good Pants

“Did you lose a bunch of weight or something?”

I’m standing in front of our photographer Sabrina in a massive pair of khakis. I haven’t lost weight, but her question is fair, and it’s making me laugh. Why do I own these pants? The “high waist” is sagging around my hips, the hems are puddled on my feet, and my legs are swimming in fabric. At some point I’d personally ordered these, tried them on and, impossibly, thought, yes, these are correct.

We’re at a tailor in Tribeca called Shopboy (which I heard about from Gossamer founder Verena von Pfetten and read about in New York mag) and I’ve brought six pairs of pants for “possible” alterations. Over the course of trying them on, it’s become comically clear that my strategy of always sizing up—inspired, I’m certain, by an instance of weight gain in college that made everything in my closet tight—isn’t working. My clothes don’t look “slouchy,” they look like someone else’s. In some cases, they look like they belong to someone seven feet tall. What’s weirder is, until now, I hadn’t thought of these pants as ill-fitting. I’ve just cuffed them or belted them or ignored them and moved on, maintaining the ever-present idea that I need more pants, when the truth I just need more that fit.

Which brings me here, flanked by beloved Shopboy founders Desmond Brooks and Kendall Khanna, finally disabused of the idea that I need more instead of better. I’m here because I do have enough pants. Most people reading this probably do, too. So in honor of finding creative ways to consume less, I present to you: How to get six new pairs of pants from your own closet.

1. The Aforementioned “Oversized” Khakis

This before pic really had us laughing. They were on super-sale! I liked the detailing! I’ve been belting them like this, but mostly they’ve been sitting on my shelf not looking worth the effort. Per my annotations, Kendall took them in around the waist and down the leg, transforming them into the pair of high-waist utility khakis Bassike intended them to be. In terms of satisfaction, buttoning pants that fit your waist perfectly is on par with executing a complex Tetris move.

Conclusion: Taking something down a size is something most tailors can do easily, provided you’re not looking to entirely makeover the shape (although some tailors, like Shopboy, can do that too).

2. The Runs-Large Online Purchase

I loved these Ssōne jeans so much that I’d been rolling them at the waist so I could wear them (very cringe since the denim and tailoring are high quality). Because I liked the Japanese-inspired shape of the barrel leg, we decided to just take them in at the waist/butt area and leave the rest. Zipping these babies up and feeling them stay firmly above my hips was such a relief. I didn’t realize how much attention I’d been paying to their consistent droop. This new adjustment made the leg look more neat and streamlined, too.

Conclusion is obvious but: If you have pants you’re constantly pulling up, consider having a tailor take in the waist a bit. Not only will be more comfortable, they’ll fall how they were intended to.

3. The Over-Statement Pants

I was more nervous about tailoring these Staud pants than any other, because I’m obsessed with them. But in reality, they were just a little too long for all my shoes, and the shape was a hair too dramatic for my style. So Kendall took some length off the bottom and pared back the flare a bit to make it more subtle and I’m over the stupid moon about it! I wish I had these pants in every color, which is the opposite of what this story is about.

Conclusion: If you have a pair of pants you love but rarely wear, perhaps ones that have a more retro shape, consider whether a small change or two could modernize them a bit and make them more wearable for you. And consider what shoes you want to wear them with—these lilac pants always looked great with no shoes, but never quite right with. Now they look nice with sneakers and loafers, which are the shoes I wear the most.

4. The Sample Sale Trousers

I bought these Lemaire trousers at a Creatures of Comfort sample sale and deluded myself into believing they fit perfectly because I loved them. In truth, the waist was falling down and I had to cuff them about four inches. But their cut and (thick) fabric are unlike anything I own, so I was eager to bring them into heavier rotation. Kendall took these in at the waist, through the leg, and at the bottom. A full-body makeover. I’m now wearing them as we speak and I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.

Conclusion: If you’re feeling feverish at a sample sale, add $50 to the price for tailoring and ask yourself if you still want them. If yes, go straight to the tailor afterward to avoid that awkward six-months-in-your-closet period.

5. The Absurdly Long Jeans

I’m not mad about the puddle hem trend, but ultimately it doesn’t work with my tailored sense of style. I even think these Trave jeans look kind of cool with bare feet all long like this, but they look ridiculous with shoes. The after is much more practical! I might have left them a hair longer if I could do it again—it was hard to visualize their shape without the weight of the hem—but that element of surprise was kind of fun too. This feels like a different pair of jeans entirely.

Conclusion: Don’t forget you can always go shorter but not longer! Be prepared for a new shape if you’re taking a significant amount of length off.

6. The Too-Slouchy White Jeans

Over the summer I wore these MM6 Margiela jeans, which I got from a Totokaelo sale, so much I felt panicky that I only had one pair (what’s wrong with me). But the relaxed shape that made me love them only worked with sandals and in beachy contexts, and even then it was still a bit much. Still, I was nervous to hand them over in case they lost their perfect slouchiness, so we were sure to only take them in around the waist and butt. And they turned out perfectly: fit to my waist without feeling too tight.

Conclusion: Tailoring something to fit you doesn’t mean it can’t still look oversized, if that’s what you’re after.

I felt spoiled walking out of Shopboy, and so much more satisfied than I would have had I just bought six new pairs of pants. Putting resources into the clothing I already have instead of accumulating more stuff I don’t technically need was refreshing. Good tailoring isn’t cheap—see Shopboy’s price breakdown here—but it’s an investment I can see paying off for years. If you’re prone to feeling like you have nothing to wear when you’re standing in front of a full closet, consider how to make what you’ve got work harder for you. You probably have more than you think.

Photos by Sabrina Santiago and Beth Sacca.

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Who Walks the Bridge in the Dead of Winter? (And What Are They Wearing?)

The Williamsburg Bridge is my favorite place in New York. During the past six years that I’ve lived here, I’ve walked across it hundreds of times. I remember the first time I did it, and feeling overwhelmed in the best possible way—bikers on the left, walkers on the right, graffiti splashed everywhere—and all that stimulation, combined with the rhythm of the trains passing by, ignited a euphoric feeling in me that still has not gone away. Over the years, the bridge has become my designated destination for the times when I need to clear my head, and I’ve become attached to the architecture of the bridge’s criss-crossed steel beams and the soothing way that light cascades through them.

As I’ve spent more time on the bridge, I’ve realized that it serves lots of different purposes beyond commuting, too—from being a spot for recreation to sight-seeing to good old fashioned loitering. It’s always a busier scene during the warmer months, but for those of us who’ve become addicted to life on the bridge, not even winter’s most frigid mornings can keep us away from it. So I decided to meet my fellow wintertime bridge walkers, to find out more about them. Who are they? Where are they going? What kind of secrets do they have about dressing to keep warm while suspended over the East River? (For starters, everybody except for one person told me they were wearing precisely three layers.) 

Elenore, 45

Destination: I’m going to get lunch at The Butcher’s Daughter.

Bridge-walking frequency: I do it more in the summer because I live over on the Bowery, so I usually run back and forth in the morning. Right now I’m doing anything to try and get this baby out.

Wearing: My coat is Damir Doma, the turtleneck is Jil Sander, my pants are a vintage mens tuxedo style, and my shoes are Ann Demulemeester. 

Bridge attire strategy: Right now I can only wear what I can fit in because I’m 41 weeks pregnant, so I’m just walking to try to get the baby out. In general, I like to wear something that I feel good but also comfortable in. I kind of wear the same thing all the time. 

Ashley, 21

Destination: 12 Chairs Cafe in Williamsburg. 

Bridge-walking frequency: I’d say probably 4 times a week. When I first moved here, I felt like it was the only place I could get fresh air. 

Wearing: My jacket is Champion and my shoes are Air Force 1s. Everything else is Alo.  

Bridge attire strategy: I kind of always wear my Air Force 1s—shoes are most important. 

Beatrice, 25

Destination: Monument across the bridge, it’s a plaza skate spot.

Bridge-walking frequency: Lately it’s been cold, so not every day, but in the summer every day. It gets you from Manhattan to Brooklyn and it’s free! 

Wearing: Everything I’m wearing is Supreme. Oh, and my Vans. 

Bridge attire strategy: I mean, I always bring my board. I love that when you finish the steep incline to the top then it’s pretty much a straight shot down. 

Johnny, 21

Destination: I’m just walking over the bridge to enjoy the weather.

Bridge-walking frequency: This is actually my first time walking the bridge.

Wearing: My jacket is from Goodwill, the pin is a picture of my aunt and I when I was a kid. My pants are oversized slacks from eBay and all of my jewelry is eBay too. eBay is a very amazing place, don’t slack on it.  

Bridge attire strategy: There really isn’t a formula of what to wear, just be yourself.

Che, 34

Destination: I’m going downtown to shop with a friend, just cruising, really.

Bridge walking-frequency: I just got to New York not too long ago, but within the last week I’ve come three times and I love it. I walk one way and then turn around and walk back, it’s great for clearing my head. 

Wearing: My cargo pants, turtleneck, and boots are all thrifted, my jacket is my boyfriend’s. These glasses I found on Amazon. 

Bridge attire strategy: Wear things that are sturdy. Like, these boots are well-traveled, so I wear them when walking long distances.

Emily, 29

Destination: Chinatown. 

Bridge walking-frequency: Every day. 

Wearing: My coat is Max Mara, my pants are vintage and I’m wearing Nikes. 

Bridge attire strategy: Comfy shoes, always!

Emma and Matthew, 20 and 22

Destination: To Williamsburg to visit a friend.

Bridge-walking frequency: Emma: Probably twice a year; Matthew: Twice a week.  

Wearing: Emma: My jacket is from Forever 21 surprisingly, sweats are from Target, my shirt I made and my shoes are Dolls Kill; Matthew: Nothing I’m wearing is that interesting other than my Nike Blazers.

Bridge attire strategy: Matthew: Whatever I’m feeling that day, really; Emma: We’re both sweats people.

Reginald, 72

Destination: Home to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn.

Bridge-walking frequency: Every single day. 

Wearing: My joggers are by Penguin and my jacket is Aquascutum. My earrings are from Thailand. 

Bridge attire strategy: Nothing specifically, just me.

Photos by Sabrina Santiago.

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Office Apropos: Putting Larry David’s Half-Dressed Theory to the Test

Welcome to Office Apropos Winter 2020! It’s the first Office Apropos of the decade and the second in our new publishing format, in which we share the outfits we wore to work one day at a time. Below are six outfits we wore to work last Friday.

And don’t forget: You can also see what we wore last Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Leandra

To file under outfit ideas I would have assumed you should not expect from me, ever: any version of a midlength skirt, particularly as paired with knee high, flat boots. (Reason being: my yeshiva primary school education and the mandatory below-the-knee skirts burned in my memory as antithetical to good style.) And yet! Here I am. Remember what I said yesterday about unlikely clothes helping you discover new dimensions of yourself? Yeah, that. I think it works because of the cardigan. You can practically see my nipples! Risque.

Harling

I don’t have a clue what I was thinking when I got dressed this morning but maybe that’s because I wasn’t… thinking. I just decided I wanted to wear these trousers that I got at The Row sample sale and then I let things waterfall from there. I don’t love how the outfit looks in this photo but I did feel good while I was wearing it. I hate when that happens. Sometimes there is no avoiding it, cameras are much better than mirrors at detecting outfit expiration, c’est la vie etcetera. But anyways I’m rambling now the thing I actually wanted to talk about here are these white sneakers which might just look like nice regular white sneakers but are in fact 100% recyclable, which is really cool and almost makes up for the outfit’s inability to withstand the challenge of being captured for this here story.

Jasmin

Quite literally the most end-of-the-week outfit, I also believe we call it being “half dressed.” One nice thing (the coat, obviously) plus a bunch of extremely comfortable low key things. I’ve recently discovered that investing in good trousers and having them hemmed is totally worth it which is exactly what I did with this new pair. I threw this together in quite literally five mins to make a 9 a.m. meeting but still managed to look somewhat put together, the power of an all black outfit is not to be underestimated!

Maggie

I’ve had the bottom half of this outfit planned in my head ever since I saw Eliz wearing printed tights the other day. The top is my interpretation of a photo in my outfit inspiration board (fittingly named “Cool Clothez”) on Instagram. Yes, I’m that person who hyper-organizes my IG saved images. I think I have, like, 24 different folders. I think I’m also ashamed to admit that. MOVING ON. This is an old jacket, but new to me, as of a trip home for Christmas. My favorite vintage shopping happens to be also in my hometown and this jacket is just one of the reasons why. I feel ready for anything in it. Like, seriously, anything. Try me, I dare you.

Mikaela

Have you ever played that game where you choose what you’d wear if you were a cartoon character and had to be “drawn” the same way every single day? THIS is my cartoon outfit. The pants are like a slinky, comfy vacation from the restriction of my usual denim selection and the turtleneck (my second skin) has been worn and loved for so many years the elastic is popping through the fabric. Together, they are just *Chef’s—and I can’t stress this enough—KISS.

Gyan

I have to credit both Harling and Haley for the creation of this outfit. The navy sweater layered over a white turtleneck is inspired very much by Harling, who I saw wearing a navy cardigan layered over a white turtleneck. The bottom half of this outfit is inspired by this story Haley wrote about her ideal fall outfit formula (cropped pants and a nice neutral sock), which I’ve carried into winter.

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Writers Club Winner: I Look at My Closet and See an Ecosystem

Below, the winning respondent to January’s Writers Club prompt: If your closet could talk, what would it say?

I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if, one day, as I stood indecisive in my socks with one hand on the mirrored door, my wardrobe heaved itself to life. It’s always reminded me of an ecosystem, with its cycles, dominant parts, and weak links. It wouldn’t be the biggest leap for it to gain consciousness, too.

My closet is nothing if not alive, constantly evolving, heeding the rules of survival of the fittest. The strongest items are those that give birth to variations of themselves in different colors or silhouettes, passing on their DNA. My first pair of Doc Martens were such a success that eight offspring now stand at attention on the floor of my wardrobe, a regimented family of commonly thick soles in varying shapes: parental boots, a sensible elder sibling loafer, the youngster a tearaway sandal that tugs at the limits of my comfort.

One of my most prized possessions is a lion’s roar of a dress.

There are of course natural predators. One of my most prized possessions is a lion’s roar of a dress. Scalloped by Dries Van Noten, its tubular sleeves and dark florals mean that it has risen to several important occasions. And yet, as I know all too well myself, parties take their toll. If it were to whisper to me in the back of a midnight black cab, it would tell me about the small hole in the hem that I’ve been willfully ignoring and plead for a break. I’m tired, it would say, and I would nod and say I’m tired too.

I’ve become a somewhat intelligent breeder. Sometimes I grow brave, predicting a success on a shop floor and grab twin items with the confidence of a fortune teller. Prophetically I stood in Uniqlo two winters ago peeling turtlenecks off their stands in both black and grey. Woven in lambswool, they were soft enough to feel decadent and cheap enough to be bought in a pair. During bitter winters spent with my family in Scotland, I wear them most days; harmonious under dresses or as a companion to a velvet skirt.

A sudden epiphany that I rarely wear jeans once introduced an alien pair of blue cropped flares onto a shelf where they have stiffened and never been worn.

And still, my wardrobe will sometimes birth a changeling, an outsider ushered in under a shift in confidence or period of strange weather. A sudden epiphany that I rarely wear jeans once introduced an alien pair of blue cropped flares onto a shelf where they have stiffened and never been worn. Then there was the heatwave of last year, when I welcomed a cream lace dress that I hoped to wear with a straw basket bag. It still hangs there, peerless, like a ghost.

It’s possible that some components of my wardrobe will outlive me—and what stories will they tell then? Will my waxed Barbour jacket ever hug someone else against a chill, calmly assuring them that they’ll be home soon? Will my high school prom dress, unworn for nearly 10 years but still beautiful, help someone else find their voice as they teeter on the cusp of adulthood? It’s a strange thought, but also a reassuring one. I guess it’s the way of life.

Graphic by Lorenza Centi.

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Outfit Tutorial: How to Recycle Your Holiday Clothes and Wear Them Post-Cheer

Do you ever feel like your December wardrobe is a metaphor for Jason Alexander’s life? He played George Costanza’s character on Seinfeld and effectively went on—while Julia Louise Dreyfus became VEEP, and Michael Richards became problematic and Jerry Seinfeld drank coffee—to remain the neb in the glasses. He was “typecast,” I learned sometime several years ago when I told someone, as if by phenomenal, independent thought that “I could never see George past Costanza.” And now I tell you that for a long time, I could never see sequins past Christmas. Sequins or velvet or plaid or this one bedazzled headband.

But to typecast my clothes runs counter to the newfangled agenda I know a lot of us are trying to push wherein we actually wear the clothes we own. So shocking, right? Shocking!

Anyway, in the spirit of pushing, I took apart a classic holiday look featuring a tartan blazer, velvet shorts, a shiny headband, and sequin blouse, then styled each of the garments to eradicate the doldrums of January.

Here’s how that went.

Tartan blazer with velvet lapels by Racil

I wore this to a holiday dinner at Il Buco in Noho in Manhattan on December 13th of last year with a silver lamé crew neck blouse, cropped black wool trousers and white patent leather booties. The year before I wore it with “fancy leggings” (e.g. the ones with zippers down the front) and a pair of gold sandals. I’ve had the blazer for three years, but have never worn it outside the parameters of holiday party season. I recycled it with:

A striped button-down shirt with a frilly collar, black leggings, tube socks and a pair of sneakers. The logic is that the most obvious solution would have been a pair of jeans, but I have a curious aversion towards blazers and jeans–the combination is too predictable or something, so instead I thought to myself: what is the most likely way I’d take a relic of holiday party dressing and turn it on its head? I went into errand-runner mode, resigning myself to an old graphic t-shirt and leggings but that was also kind of obvious, so I exchanged the t-shirt for stripes on thick poplin et voila: what to wear to work on a Friday if your boss is OOO or you simply work at Man Repeller.

Velvet shorts by Alice & Olivia

I wore these to a party held at someone’s home over metallic tights that my husband is never slow to tell me maintain a shelf life of exactly two nights a year between December 10th and 18th, and paired that with a black taffeta sleeveless, turtleneck bubble-hem top. I don’t have a visual, but imagine if I cut three holes into a black garbage bag made from taffeta for my head and my arms then tucked the bag trim into itself to create a bubble effect at the hem. I recycled it with:

Ye olde grey henley, a cardigan, and chunky sole brogues. Call it a marriage between the doldrums: pajamas (the henley) and the grandpa cardigan, and cheer: a classic rich fabric plus some jewelry-2-boot.

A shiny headband by Zara

I almost wore this with a mid-length red suspender dress styled over a white poplin button-down shirt but honestly took it off before I left home in the spirit of that motto about taking one thing off before you leave the house, which I had previously never, not once, stood behind. I recycled it with:

Two layers of camel knits, some wool khaki pants and a pair of tiara-wearing sneakers. I’ve worn this outfit before, once with black kitten heel boots, once with white patent leather boots. I’ve never worn the whole shebang with sneakers, but do regularly pair blouses and collarless jackets with these pants and then add sneakers. In creating a casual sandwich — that is, pairing the pants with the sweater and sneakers, I set out to make room for a puffy headband to join the conga line.

The sequined top by Altuzarra

Welcome to the most prototypical holiday party feature: a bevy of sequins to cover your chest. I wore with a turtleneck underneath it, the velvet shorts and tartan blazer, both pictured above and, if you can believe it, the very same headband we just spoke about. On my legs were sheer tights. My shoes were black satin sandals covered in rhinestones. And this is what I wore to dinner at a fast-casual restaurant in Nolita on Monday, December 16th, 2019. I recycled it with:

Not quite straight, not quite wide-leg baggy jeans, a pair of beige suede round-toe boots (I describe them as a cross between the classic Chelsea boot and a work boot; they’re not as soft as an English Chelsea boot, but definitely not as rugged as a work boot either), and a chunky gray knit worn like a sash over my naked upper body. The logic? Create a dichotomy! Look like you might be going to do manual labor on the one hand, impersonate Donna Summer on the other. Add a sweater as a sash to further confuse and net out exactly where January wants you to be: definitely not typecast, but kind of in purgatory.

The end. What do U think? Will ye try it? How many more times can I speak in slices of old English before you call thy out? And finally: here’s another outfit tutorial, in case you care.

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How to Do Anything: 5 Ways to Become More Flexible With Very Little Effort

Here is some relevant information to know about me as we embark on this narrative journey together:

1. I want my muscles to feel less like rubber bands pulled uncomfortably taut and more like supple lengths of bubblegum.

2. I’m lazy! And the effort of waking up early to go to the gym in the morning feels arduous as is, much less waking up even earlier to thoroughly stretch before or after.

These facts have existed in constant friction with one another for a while now. I want to increase my flexibility but I also don’t, because it requires time and energy that could be devoted elsewhere–like sleeping, or spending 30 minutes working out instead of 20, or binge-watching two seasons of Babylon Berlin. Something had to give–and it did, a couple weeks ago, when I attempted pigeon pose during a yoga class and the instructor visibly supressed a laugh. I didn’t blame her. I looked absurd. I also resolved then and there that I would get serious about stretching posthaste, but ideally in a way that was easy to maintain consistently.

I reached out to Jeff Brannigan, the Program Director at Stretch*d–an assisted stretching studio in New York where you can make an appointment to be “professionally stretched.” (I tried it once about a year ago and it’s exactly as nice as it sounds.) After I explained what I was looking for–an expert’s guide to becoming more flexible without too much effort, no biggie!–he assured me that he would strip his recommendations down to just the essentials.

Below are the five stretches Brannigan advises doing once a day to improve overall flexibility. He suggests holding each one for 2 to 3 seconds and repeating 10 to 12 times, so based on my advanced calculations, this routine should take no more than three minutes tops.

#1: A Calf Stretch That Doubles as Toe-Tapping Practice

Calves are involved in literally every step we take, so in the words of Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music, they’re a very good place to start. Brannigan’s recommended calf-stretching protocol resonates with me both spiritually and emotionally because you can do it lying down, so it’s basically a nap with productivity built in. All you have to do is loop a band (or a jump rope or belt) around the ball of one of your feet and point and flex for 2 to 3 seconds each time. Rinse and repeat on the other leg. Don’t fall asleep!

#2: A Quadratus Lumborum Stretch That’s Particularly Good for Desk Workers

In addition to being the name I would give to my celebrity baby, the “Quadratus Lumborum” is a muscle located in your lower back (though technically it’s a super-deep abdominal muscle). It helps support good posture and stabilize your spine, and it’s really important to stretch because it often takes over when your hips are tight (my hips are always tight, which Brannigan says is common for people who sit at a desk all day).

For this stretch, find a chair or flat surface to sit on where you can place both feet on the floor, put your hands behind your head, rotate your spine to one side, and bend down at an angle with your elbow moving toward your knee. After holding for 2 to 3 seconds, sit back up and repeat the same steps on the other side.

#3: A Quad Stretch That Can Help Your Posture

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Stretching your quads can help with back pain, knee pain, and all around posture–not to mention enhancing your performance while working out. This stretch can be done lying down or standing up, depending on your preference and where you are. Grab hold of one of your ankles and bend your knee until you feel a stretch in the front of your thigh. Make sure you aren’t arching your back (it helps to deliberately hold your ab muscles in and push your hips forward (this will give you a bonus hip flexor stretch as well). Hold the stretch for 2 to 3 seconds before releasing slightly and doing it again. Repeat 10 to 12 times and then switch legs.

 

#4: A Hamstring Stretch That Does More Than Just Stretch Your Hamstrings

I’ll be hamstrung if I go one more day with hamstrings that feel tighter than my highest-waisted jeans, so I was pleased that Brannigan mandated this stretch in his recommended repertoire.

“The hamstring plays a big role with a lot of other things in the body,” he told me. “It can affect your back, your legs, and, of course, knees.”

Just like the calf stretch, you can and should do this one lying down. Once you’re situated, begin by encircling the rope around the *middle* of one of your feet and raising your leg up as far as you need to go in order to feel a stretch, hold for 2 to 3 seconds, lower it, and repeat 10 to 12 times. Then do the same thing with the other leg.

#5: A Neck Stretch You Can Do Anywhere and Everywhere

Stretching your neck extensor muscles regularly is a gift you can give not only to yourself but also apparently to your upper back and all the muscles that run down your spine. “It’s all connected!,” as they say in the middle-school science biz.

To do so effectively, find a seat where you can put your feet on the ground, place your hands behind your head, and use them to gently guide your head up and down, holding the stretch for 2 to 3 seconds each time. This might be my favorite stretch of the bunch because it’s so easy to do literally anywhere–my desk, a subway car, a sofa with Netflix for company, etc. Low effort, high reward–I feel instantly better afterward.

As for the long-term effects, I’ll have to report back after I’ve been diligent about doing all of these in tandem for at least another few weeks, but I can attest that I already feel much more mentally flexible now that I have an expert-approved, time-efficient game plan, and that counts for something, right?

5 PHOTOS
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Stylist:  Harling Ross

Market: Elizabeth Tamkin

Model: Sheilah Renninger at We Speak Models

Hair & Makeup Artist: Shideh Kafei 

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Office Apropos: Styling Slip Dresses for Winter and the Curse of Shiv Roy’s Pants

Welcome to Office Apropos Winter 2020! It’s the first Office Apropos of the decade and the second in our new publishing format, in which we share the outfits we wore to work one day at a time. Below are six outfits we wore to work last Thursday.

Oh and, if you haven’t already, go take a peek at what we wore last week on Wednesday and Tuesday.

Leandra

This was a fun one! I went to a workout class before coming into work, sweated my boobs off, did not shower or change out of the t-shirt I was wearing, but did replace my leggings with high waist black jeans, and festoon my sweaty t-shirt with this very warm Cecilie Bahnsen cardigan. It’s kind of the unsung hero of my closet—one of those things you get on a whim, wonder if you’ll wear that much, then find yourself returning to over and over again. Don’t you love when that happens? It’s like discovering a new dimension of your interests, or something. The slingbacks are by The Row.

Harling

I love this outfit, mostly because it embodies my lifelong goal of figuring out how to style a slip dress in a way that feels “me” (I’ve historically struggled with this seemingly simple endeavor). Turns out the answer is wearing one in the winter with an oversized cardigan and tall boots that you bought at Barney’s with a gift card exactly one week before said gift card was no longer valid for use (RIP).

Jasmin

Eliz told me that she liked my color palette today and it made her want a mocha latte, I’ll take it! Back again with my favorite jeans of the moment and I’ve also been wearing these boots non-stop since I got them. The jacket was a rogue impulse purchase from Century 21 the other weekend, I love it so much. I was mostly in the office all day and was suitably snug.

Maggie

“I’m the highlighter at the bottom of your pencil pouch.” That’s it. That’s the whole tweet.

Okay, fine, I’ll say more. Writing utensils weren’t necessarily the inspiration for this outfit but it does sound pretty creative so let’s go with it. These pants, in all their blinding joy, were yet another find on The RealReal, but I must admit, I had no dang clue how bright they were until I could practically see them glowing through the box.

Mikaela

My coworkers are good at coats. I mean reaaally good. I have one very cool coat in my closet (which it did not occur to me to wear), but other than that I am sorely lacking. Therefore, I mostly approach winter style based on how I want to feel in the office after removing my outer layers. This ’60s vintage sweater vest fits like a glove and, as such, IS SO WARM. It beats a drafty office building any day. I paired the vest with 70s wide-leg pants from Seven Wonders to fully lean into the “candy cane” of it all. The sneakers are Air Max 1s, in dire need of a clean and also the most important things in my life. I highly suggest.

Gyan

Since the mania of Succession season two hit, I’ve been finding it hard to wear these Frankie Shop pants without feeling like a budget-version Shiv Roy. I got this Naadam sweater a few weeks ago and hadn’t thought about pairing it with said pants until this morning—I’m quite happy with the result. I’m still definitely treading the line of Sarah Snook cosplay but I’m okay with that.

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