Leandra Medine's Blog, page 23

The Outnet Sale Makes Me Want to Wear Something Girly Again

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Last week Amalie told me she’s been feeling a strong urge to dress girlier. I get it: All I want right now are flowy dresses and ruffled blouses, too. I know some of you are feeling the same way, because I saw a lot of comments on the personal shopping story I published last week asking for a similar vibe. I think it’s a response to the time we’re living in right now—when you have to suit up like Charlize Theron in Fury Road just to buy Raisin Bran Crunch, the idea of an alternative that’s pretty and soft is very appealing.

As it turns out, The Outnet sale has some really excellent markdowns on super-girly stuff to address this situation. Below, read a convo between me and Amalie about what “dressing girlier” means and shop some of the best pieces I found on sale (most of which is under $200). –Eliz

Elizabeth: I’ve been thinking about the “vibe” of my dressing preference ever since you mentioned you’ve found yourself wanting to dress girlier on our editorial video call.

Amalie: I know it’s weird to couch this impulse in such gendered terms, but I guess it all kind of goes back to what makes me feel “hot,” per Harling’s recent piece. And right now the thing that would make me feel most attractive, based on my gender performance and personal preference, is a ruffled blouse or a frilly mini skirt. Whether that’s “feminine” or “romantic” who knows, but that’s what I’m drawn to right now. You know?

Eliz: I think the extravagance of “dressing girly” may be what you desire right now. You need that extra oomph during a really stale moment in time.

Amalie: Totally! Something to make me feel like I’m a character in an Elena Ferrante novel. What are some of the things that have caught your eye? Or—what are some things that you feel like are missing from your closet? I feel like I have nothing frilly or femme in my closet, especially for summer.

Elizabeth: I was actually going to bring up “character dressing!” In the story I wrote where I asked people to let me find them market to satisfy their ~needs~ a lot of people referenced characters like Marianne from Normal People and the sisters from Little Women who dress in feminine dresses and ruffled blouses from a specific period in history! It got me thinking: where is my long skirt!? Do I need one???

To answer your q: When I think of feminine dressing a lot of specific designers come to mind: Valentino, Maggie Marilyn, Rebecca Taylor, Rosie Assoulin, Zimmerman, Ulla Johnson, De La Vali, Marchesa, Chloe, Pucci… the list goes on. And through my Outnet crawl, I noticed designers whose names I don’t necessarily associate with being uber feminine having those sorts of designs from seasons of yesterday.

Amalie: That’s exciting! Begs the question of whether this impulse is really from me or whether I’m being influenced by the larger trend cycle… either way I’m not mad about it. Oooh love that dress…

Elizabeth: Yeah! Like… denim! Can denim be girly? I think so if it has the proper silhouette.

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Or these Derek Lam pants—Derek Lam doesn’t make me think feminine and the check isn’t super girly but the cut is (imagine paired with a lacey cami?). Must also bring to your attention these pleated trousers, also paired with said cami.

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Would that outfit scratch your itch?

Amalie: Omg yes. I’ve always wanted to be the kind of girl who just wears a lacy cami but for some reason I’ve never believed that it was the right look for me. Then in the summer I boil in cotton t-shirts like a fool. This might be the moment!!!

Elizabeth: I think it’s time. I also DID NOT FORGET you are a fan of pants for summer (rather than shorts) so I found some for you. I think any of these could be styled similarly (see: cami) and be very appropriate:

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These pants are mostly all silky—so now I’ve talked about silhouette and material to constitute a specific style.

Amalie: Those Dodo Bar Or pants you styled me in for that story have been the best summer pants I’ve ever owned. I wore them to death last year and plan to this year, as well. Yes to summer pants!!! But I’ve also been really drawn to skirts, lately, since I have two in my closet and I don’t even like them very much. Skirts are always a hard find for me, but I’m imagining something romantic and long or flirty and short?? I know you have thoughts.

Eliz: I was just about to dive into skirts and dresses! Skirts first. I love a skirt for you! Personally, I rarely wear them but there are endless good ones:

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I also found this one that I’d like to take a moment to dive into. It’s like an open-front apron. So while a distressed pair of jeans isn’t girly… you could suddenly make your outfit romantic with this guy over them:

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(I am so tempted to buy it. Look at it on the model!)

Amalie: WOW

Elizabeth: I think there is something to be said about the versatility of a really good frilly storybook skirt.

Amalie: Man, I agree. I don’t have a single one in my closet because up until now it’s just never felt right. But I really like the idea of folding more of the feminine into my closet! Because I have such neutral pieces that I feel like the balance will be really right.

I can’t stop thinking about that outfit.

Eliz: Yeah. It’s a good one, I agree. And speaking of jeans! I know you’re a huge fan… you made your case! Are you open to using denim as a base and wearing something that is more girly on top? Or even with that apron I sent you?

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Amalie: Okay wow @ those Frame wide-legs

Eliz: Are you still hard no on shorts? I found these really gorgeous bloomers:

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Amalie: CUTE. I’m not a hard no on shorts anymore, I’ve actually been looking at a few kind of flowy-looking white ones.

Eliz: Here are some that fit that bill! The Acne ones are $50!!!

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Those last ones also come in purple and I imagine them paired with a top like this one to make them fit your need.

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All that being said, I do love these shorts if they’re something you’d consider:

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I think there’s something so romantic about printed silk pajama shorts worn with a more structured top:

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That Stateside one—with the tiered sleeves—is so shockingly romantic for a pretty basic button down cotton shirt, no?

Amalie: Yes I looove that with the pj short. I wish I thought of things like this more often! There’s been no greater joy than when you’ve styled me in the past because you’ll put things together that I would never normally assume go together and they just… harmonize.

Eliz: You just made me blush from my home office (the couch). That means a lot! I love dressing you. You’re so open to it!

I really wanna help you with your needs here so I want to propose some extremely on-the-nose dresses.

Amalie: Please! I have maybe two summer dresses in my closet. One of which is a literal muumuu

Eliz: Here’s this one, which is puffy and pink. Then: a long one with a bow in blue! This long dreamy white one. A silky floral midi. A cute and youthful mini pink number. Embellished ones from Marchesa and this one that is a romantic dream.

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I’m also including this knit one that could be worn over or under a ruffly blouse or jacket with proper accessories and this robe-style one because I’m so into robes right now.

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I think the robe one’s details are so sweet. Imagine it worn with some pretty heeled mules and a bunch of necklaces.

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Amalie: Cough, cough speaking of heeled mules…. All of my summer shoes look like, in the words of LMC, I’ve “sustained a foot injury.”

Eliz: I think you can dress up more casual dresses like this one with some pretty pumps or strappy sandals:

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Amalie: Wow, I want to wear that white dress with the red heels immediately.

Eliz: I’m a firm believer that shoes make an outfit. Kinda hard for me right now.

You know what I was thinking when I came across these? Sunglasses (’tis the season!) can really change an outfit. Imagine wearing a cat eye with any one of those dresses, rather than these (which I also love).

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A cat eye makes it just so much more flirty, non?

Amalie: Oh, both of these are so cool. I’m such a sucker for sunglasses.

Eliz: I know you are! You have the best ones.

Amalie: I used to believe that one shape and style was all I needed and then I realized that certain outfits look BETTER with the right pair of sunglasses

Eliz: I agree. What are you going to wear today?

Amalie: Ooh man. It’s 84 degrees today in New York, can you believe??? I think that calls for a Real Outfit.

Eliz: Yes because I walked my dog at 6:30 AM and felt! it!

Amalie: Haha, I haven’t been outside yet! Okay, I have a linen skirt from Uniqlo that I really really love. The only skirt I own that I like. Going to throw that on with this top, adding cat eye sunglasses, some gold hoops and some Mary Jane flats from Hereu. Inspired by: ELIZ

Eliz: That is such a good outfit. I hope you wear those sunglasses all day on your video calls.

I’m going to wear running shorts with a silky cami. I was inspired by… myself.

I really wanna wear this top but I’ll have to wait 3-5 biz days. I bought it from the sale (and this jacket). I now kind of wish I got the checkered version of the top because there are these matching shorts with it. But I digress.

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Ok. I have a video call in 2. See ya on Slack!

Amalie: The checkered top and shorts are so good! Okay, I’m running out to go pick up a lizard from my friend, lol. Bye!

Feature Image via The Outnet featuring a Loewe dress.

The post The Outnet Sale Makes Me Want to Wear Something Girly Again appeared first on Man Repeller.

Founders Discuss: “How Are You Really?” With Krissy and Chloe of Sky Ting Yoga

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In this week’s edition of Founders Discuss, Krissy Jones and Chloe Kernaghan of Sky Ting Yoga talk to Leandra about the challenges of running a studio-based fitness brand and how they have been able to quickly and nimbly pivot to keep their business alive.

Leandra Medine Cohen: How are you guys?

Krissy Jones: My back hurts but–

LMC: Alexa!

Chloe Kernaghan: Alexa is talking.

LMC: That was so dramatic. She voluntarily turned on music. But onwards! How are you, really?

CK: I feel we’ve hit a nice enough groove right now with the offerings that we have, and there are sponsorship classes that are coming through, which have been great for us. We’re doing a lot of work on the backend, updating our website, because, of course, once you start to see more people come in, all of a sudden other little things that you didn’t really think about before become problems, and you’re like, “Oh right, this needs to be changed and that needs to be changed.”

In some ways we’re working more than we ever were, and it’s on our computers. Krissy and I used to teach for a good portion of our work week, so it’s a weird, interesting shift in our own work ethics.

LMC: Isn’t it so wild how problems arise no matter how solid the solutions are—life is like a game of whack-a-mole.

KJ: I feel we’re always in a state of, “Oh, when this happens we can chill and work less.” But it’s never been that way. I’m not complaining. We’re both pretty driven, and we’re lucky that we’re even surviving this mess.

CK: And that we have work to do!

KJ: But yeah, I am doing less yoga than ever. My lower back hurts.

LMC: You mentioned finding a groove in your programming. What is some of that programming?

CK: We have our live schedule, which we’re calling Sky Ting Live. It’s the daily live classes that we offer. So once a day, we have a full-length class. Right now we’ve hit the mark of 45 minutes, and it appears to be the sweet spot for home practices. If it’s longer than that, there’s a ton of drop off right around then.

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I’ve Upgraded My Beauty Routine to… Bronzer and Perfume

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Disclaimer: One of the products mentioned below (the bronzer) is from a brand (Kosas Cosmetics), in which I invested last Spring. 

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror the other day. My skin was so white it was green—that same, drained-looking translucency I see in the winter when I’m spending so little time outdoors that we—my skin and me—become a stranger to natural light. The bags under my eyes were starting to droop and there was a ring of white around my lips like I had not washed my mouth after brushing my teeth.

Damn, I thought, I don’t think I can’t go on looking like this.

Now, this thinking might run counter to what you believe about me and the broader Man Repeller brand given that: (1) I don’t really wear makeup and (2) There is a misconception out there that our philosophy is rooted in looking “ugly.” But I will debunk these ideas and clarify that (1) I do wear some makeup (brow gel, lip tint), it’s just the no-makeup-makeup kind. And when I do choose not to wear any, it’s not because I’m trying to make a point. I genuinely prefer how I look without it, so the reason I don’t wear makeup is motivated by the same vanity that would probably compel me to wear it. And (2) this brand is not rooted in looking ugly. Looking ugly is as subjective as is looking pretty, but I never wish to look either because I don’t think such opaque adjectives, co-opted by predefined standards that don’t leave enough to develop my own, allow for the kind of nuance that makes an outward aesthetic interesting to discuss.

Beautiful, on the other hand, that’s a loaded fucking word. And I have a strong opinion on what is beautiful. You might call it ugly, you might call it pretty, and I am very loyal to this opinion. I do not wish to persuade you to buy into it but I do wish to persuade you to reconcile the world’s beauty standards with your own, then act out the latter. That’s what Man Repeller is really about.

When I say I could not go on looking like this, by the way, what I meant was: I could not go on feeling like this. The wilting in my face was at risk of becoming the wilting of my spirit, so I went to my bathroom to visit my makeup cabinet but did not extract the quotidian “essentials” of my erstwhile routine (the aforementioned brow gel and lip tint) but rather picked up two artifacts that would become the sum of a new routine.

Kosas Moisturizing Bronzer


Lake & Skye Oil Rollerball


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Under a “regular” circumstance, I would probably consider them the frivolities—as interchangeable and insignificant to the beholden’s gaze as the color of my underwear, but from quarantine, they have become the most used—the only!—products in my paltry rotation. I’ve spent the last 48 hours trying to figure out how to put in words the reason why, but I think it’s simpler than I’m letting on.

The reason I’m loyal to my opinion of what’s beautiful is because as time tweaks me, I let it (the opinion) change. It contracts and fluctuates and redefines itself to accommodate my shit.

And right now, I just wanna smell good. I wanna smell good because I don’t shower as much and even though the perfume does not stop Abie from participating in his new favorite hobby of shoving his nose in my armpit to see if I have body odor (nor does it change the fact that most days, I do), catching a whiff of 11:11 is a unique kind of unilateral luxury that provokes this little voice in my head who says, “See, Leandra. You haven’t given up.”

And I want my skin to look like it has been kissed by the sun because there is either a gigantic window or a cloth face mask that stands between our contact under a normal circumstance, but when I feign liveliness on my face with a dab here and a dab there, I am reminded that I’m not dead inside. It’s not a great thing that I have to be reminded, I admit, but it’s refreshing to remind myself that I’d never let that happen! I care too much!

And that caring—it’s a beautiful thing, you know?

The post I’ve Upgraded My Beauty Routine to… Bronzer and Perfume appeared first on Man Repeller.

Open Thread: Has Quarantine Changed Your Relationship?

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Having been with the same partner on and off for nearly a decade and a half, I am no stranger to the way a relationship can–and inevitably will–take numerous distinctive forms. While it’s possible to deliberately renegotiate a relationship’s terms, it also happens organically, shaped by maturity, circumstance, mood, opinion, the pursuit of milestones–or the lack thereof. Historically, only hindsight has made me aware that a new iteration of my relationship came to pass–a sense of clarity that crystallizes years later, the byproduct of forward motion. That’s why this current era of social distancing is so unique: It has made me conscious of my relationship’s evolution in real-time.

I knew we’d be entering a new phase this summer, I just thought it would be a different one. We were supposed to get married, go on our honeymoon, and begin life as newlyweds–a special chapter, a period of growth–or so I’m told. There is a certain irony to the fact that instead of taking that step, we are remaining still, treading in the warm backwash of days that look and feel exactly the same.

If you were in a relationship before quarantine began, or if you started one during it, how has this experience reshaped the dynamic?

The other night, when we were watching TV, a mound of sofa pillows between us, I leaned over and rested my head on Austin’s shoulder and joked, “Remember when we were in love?” His immediate instinct to assure me that we still are made me feel silly for fishing and tempted to do it again. My penchant for spinning neediness into sarcasm when I’m anxious is no match for his tendency toward sincerity–a good thing, since it’s a game I’m always trying to lose.

The New Yorker‘s Rachel Syme interviewed Esther Perel a couple weeks ago about navigating romantic relationships under the stressful circumstances of quarantine, and this quote keeps resurfacing in my mind: “I think, in general, when people live in acute stress, either the cracks in their relationship will be amplified or the light that shines through the cracks will be amplified. You get an amplification of the best and of the worst.”

I have friends whose relationships have experienced both extremes over the last two months, the cracks amplifying thoroughly enough for a permanent split to occur, or the light shining so brightly it bleaches away previous doubts. For many relationships, though, mine included, there seems to be a little bit of both–new cracks, new light sources, and a new form along with them.

I’m curious to hear more perspectives, though. If you were in a relationship before quarantine began, or if you started one during it, how has this experience reshaped the dynamic?

The post Open Thread: Has Quarantine Changed Your Relationship? appeared first on Man Repeller.

Micro Life Upgrade: Have a Candle-Lit Dinner Every Single Night

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Each weekday morning, my one-bedroom apartment splits into two home offices. My boyfriend Michael takes the bedroom, working from the small writing desk we have tucked into one corner, while I work from the dining table in our living room. Come dinnertime (if we’re not bent over bowls of red curry on the couch) we sit either side of that same dining table, and I can’t help but feel like I should be listening for a Slack ding or fumbling for my headphones in preparation to join a video call as soon as we’re done. The transition from desk-to-dining-table has made switching from work to rest feel borderline impossible… until I started lighting candles.

I’ve had a gold candelabra holding two tall white candlesticks in the middle of my dining table since Christmas, when I hosted a group of friends staying in the city for the holiday. In the rush of serving—then enjoying—Christmas lunch, I forgot to light them. Until a few weeks ago, they’d been standing untouched for months. I’d become so accustomed to their presence at my dining-desk I’d basically become blind to them.

The night I first lit them, everything felt particularly dull, at the end of a day that felt like it had actually been a week. I was craving, even more than usual, something—anything—to make the night feel even the tiniest bit special. I set the table as normal then, before serving, grabbed a lighter and sparked those bad boys to life. For the first time since quarantine began, sitting across from Michael at the same table I’d spent my entire day working actually felt festive. Dare I say, even romantic!

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Serving drinks for two

A post shared by Fanny Ekstrand (@fannyekstrand) on May 9, 2020 at 9:41am PDT

Much like setting candles atop a birthday cake or lighting a scented candle after a morning of cleaning, eating dinner by candlelight is a small ritual that makes a huge difference. We might not be able to go to restaurants right now, but at least we can make our dinners at home feel like something worth celebrating. And so far, lighting my candles is the quickest way to make that happen.

This life upgrade works whether you light a fancy-ass candlestick in a fancy-ass candelabra or just a simple flickering tea light candle. However, if you’re in the market for something new to admire while dining, I have some suggestions!

If You Want Some Candlesticks to Call Your Own

These tapered candlesticks are the perfect amount of drippy and come in all the colors I want in a candle, including navy, petal pink, and a perfect mustard yellow. I also quite enjoy these striped candy-colored sticks and these ombre candles that prove it’s the color trend that will never die.

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If You Have Candlesticks but Wouldn’t Mind Something New to Hold Them

I’m obsessed with this blown glass holder, which I would personally like in the amber and pink if you’re listening, Santa. I’m also really into these candle holders that can house either a candlestick or a tealight candle because why not get you a holder that can do both?! These glass holders are also exceptionally cool and something I would very much like to be eating in front of ASAP.

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Or, If You Want a Candle That Doesn’t Need a Holder at All

What you need is a layered pillar candle! Or one of these sculptural candles! Orrrrr these twisted candles that somehow manage to be both a candlestick and candlestick holder at! the! same! time!

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Whatever candle you choose, light one tonight and let me know how it goes.

Feature Image via Luke Edward Hall.

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How Does Leandra Dress Leandra? (And 14 More MRTV Videos to Watch Now)

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TGIF! Or as I like to say these days, IF! (It’s Friday.) Have you exhausted all the offerings on streaming platforms Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Criterion Channel, Platypus, Showtime Anytime, HBOGO? (I made one up, if you didn’t notice.) Then do I have a weekend plan idea for you: Watch every episode of MRTV. I’ve made them all available to “stream” in one tidy place below (and we’ll update this story periodically as more episodes are released).

Here are a few reasons why I love MRTV, in no particular order: the way Amalie MacGowan says “extravaganza” like she’s a secondary character in a Christopher Guest movie, how endearingly deadpan Tiffany is while making dal (though my main takeaway was that I desire her pants by Juliet Johnstone), and how Harling’s banana bread recipe quickly turned into a surefire Harry Potter spinoff called Harling Ross and the Cursed Egg. (In an exclusive interview, Harling admits to me, in the midst of filming this video, she also had to “emergency FaceTime [her] sister because [she] couldn’t figure out how to dislodge the beaters from the Mixmaster.”)

And there is nothing more true-to-form than Leandra narrating her own thought processes, as she does in Pumped Up for Pumpkin. Some juicy intel just came my way: It turns out Leandra blended her engagement ring with the pumpkin pudding, but she reports that it made it out in one piece. Is engagement pumpkin pudding the new engagement chicken??

I asked Amalie MacGowan’s phone, from which all of Man Repeller’s social media content is deployed, how it felt after being put in her oven, and the phone declined to comment for this story.

Pour yourself a tall glass of chocolate milk, throw your remote control out the window, and tune into MRTV:

1.Leandra Dresses Leandra

Monday

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WELCOME TO A WEEK’S WORTH OF GETTING READY WITH @leandramcohen!!!! New outfit ideas every day. They’re freebies. THE VALUE? Unbeatable. Today: what to wear to a buttoned-up workplace when you also need to get stuff done. (

We Tried 5 Celebrities’ Favorite Workouts, and Now Harling Has Biceps Like Stanley Tucci

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Whether I’m outdoors or indoors, I exercise for two reasons—mental clarity and vanity, in that order. During quarantine, I’ve felt excited by all of the available options online (Good Day Pilates, The Fit In, The Class, SLT, Tracy Anderson, Forward Space, Indigo Fitness, Sky Ting, Y7, Yoga to the People, LEKfit, a lesson in choreography by the Haim sisters), but I also find it challenging to keep tabs on all of the schedules for virtual exercise classes.

To help streamline choosing which classes I’d partake in, I crafted a rubric for exercise in quarantine, and determined that a good at-home workout satisfies the following: It feels as novel as biking a new route that leaves you winded in an uncomfortable way. It’s something that you find a little difficult, that you haven’t tried before, that you might even be a little bad at, but the joy of being out of your depths stirs up excitement. Nothing gives me an adrenaline rush like head-on confronting my fear of failure. Thinking of exercise as a project I can incrementally improve upon allows me to look forward to it rather than dread it.

Still, I need help separating the wheat from the chaff, and I’ve noticed that celebrities seem to be similarly picky about their exercise routines and trainers, so I did some research on classes that had gotten the star-shaped Hollywood stamp of approval. And boy, were they all over the map! But what better way to change the chemistry of your day and exit your comfort zone than by opting for a workout performed by an A-List celebrity? Harling, Mikaela, Tiffany, Amalie, and I had no idea what awaited us when we set out to test these five celebrity-approved at-home workouts. Read on for our reviews, with the workouts measured against my very scientific specifications on a scale of 0 to 5, below.

Sweatfest With Ryan Heffington

A dance class with zero inhibitions, where the only prop is something microphone-shaped for lip-syncing.

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• keeping it real •

A post shared by Ryan Heffington (@ryan.heffington) on Mar 18, 2020 at 4:45pm PDT

Per the recommendation of this celebrity: Andrew Scott, a.k.a. Fleabag’s Hot Priest

Test run by: Amalie, social media manager

Cost: Free on Instagram Live, though you can donate to Heffington’s LA-based dance studio, the Sweat Spot, here.

Break a sweat level: Was it as strenuous as you hoped it would be? 5/5. I think there’s a way in which you could get heinously sweaty doing this workout if you really let loose, but I kept it under control.

Enjoyability level: Would you look forward to doing this again? 7/5. I can’t measure it on the 0-5 scale. This scale is now arbitrary because I’ve never felt so happy after working out.

Serotonin spike: Did it give you a boost afterward? 10/5. I don’t even know what to tell you. Exercise will never be the same for me.

Ease for doing inside level: Was it easy enough for you to do at-home? Did it require any equipment that you did or didn’t have?: 4/5 The only equipment that was required was a towel and a handheld item that you could use as a faux-microphone. I used a dish rag and a pepper grinder.

Overall takeaway: By the time this class ended, I was aching for it to just keep going. This is easily one of the most joyful things I’ve done since quarantine started. The pleasure of feeling like I was dancing at the same time as… however many people watching this video was honestly rapturous. And the moves were just… euphoric. At one point, Heffington yelled, “Y’all ready to sell some cars?” which fully confused me and then I saw that his movements were mimicking an inflatable tube guy in front of a car dealership. We lip-synced to Stevie Nicks with pepper grinders and wine bottles while we whipped towels around our bodies to the beat. We even danced to “Mystery of Love” by Sufjan Stevens, (anyone who knows me knows…). I laughed, I exulted, and now I’m not sure I want to do any other form of exercise. Imagining Andrew Scott doing this has also lit me up like a Christmas tree, and I’m going to hold on to this joy… for a very long time.

Eastwood Movement Method

A strength-training session with a focus on lateral movements that combines elements of pilates and high intensity interval training.

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Just a reminder that Stanley Tucci is my man and while @harlingross’s take on why he’s the perfect quarantine celeb (link in bio) is PG my feelings about him are *not* (art by @craftsnool)

A post shared by Man Repeller (@manrepeller) on Apr 29, 2020 at 8:51am PDT

Per the recommendation of this celebrity: My dear friend Stanley Tucci

Test run by: Harling, brand director

Cost: £15 (~$18)

Break a sweat level: Was it as strenuous as you hoped it would be? 5/5. It was quite challenging, and definitely as strenuous as I hoped it would be (perhaps even more so, but in a good way).

Enjoyability level: Would you look forward to doing this again?: 4/5. It was enjoyable because Monique was so lovely and encouraging, and I could tell I was getting a really good workout. That being said, I got frustrated with myself about halfway through because I was so tired and sweaty and wobbly that I found it difficult to do every exercise “perfectly” (let’s just say my body did not resemble a plank during the planking). I think I would enjoy this workout even more if I had a few more reps under my belt and felt like I was starting to “master the moves,” as my dad might put it.

Serotonin spike: Did it give you a boost afterward? 5/5. In addition to spiking my serotonin, this workout also majorly spiked my appetite. After eating lunch, I had a sizable handful of chocolate chips, a bag of popcorn, and some turkey bacon at various intervals, and then rounded out my snacking extravaganza with a piece of quiche at 3:25 p.m.

Ease for doing inside level: Was it easy enough for you to do at-home? Did it require any equipment that you did or didn’t have? 4/5. One point of consideration was having enough space to move from side to side for some of the exercises, which might be tough in a super-cramped apartment setting, but the only equipment we used was a pair of light weights. It was very easy to do from home in that respect.

Overall takeaway: If I did this workout every day I legitimately think I would have biceps like Stanley Tucci. Also, at the end of the session, Monique told me I could email her with questions anytime and that she “loves to nurture people.” If that’s not the socially distant equivalent of a post-workout sweaty hug, I don’t know what is. All in all, a very rewarding 60 minutes.

Jane Fonda’s Step Aerobic and Abdominal Workout

Exactly what you’d expect a 1992 VHS tape of step aerobics to look like. 

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Join me for a Virtual @firedrillfriday !!! . Join our virtual #FireDrillFriday

What Alison Roman’s Controversy Proved About Gossip in Quarantine

Have you signed up for MR Thoughtline yet? It’s Man Repeller’s new text-based service that lights up phone screens with good bits from around the internet, opportunities to chat with cool people, and digital recesses to help your mind take a break from the news in favor of a recipe, physical activity or, trust us, very useful WFH outfit ideas. Subscribe here.

Not to be nosy, but… have you been gossiping at all during quarantine? I ask because I can’t stop thinking about an article published last on Vice entitled, “Why We Need Gossip Now More Than Ever.” In addition to emphasizing how the social benefits of gossiping (bonding, increased cooperation, and encouragement of good behavior and self-reflection) are even more significant during this time of unprecedented isolation, it also points out that gossip is harder to come by these days–to the extent that the author and her boyfriend have instituted a nightly “gossip sesh” to imbue relatively mundane observations or information with a certain degree of intrigue.

Roman accuses two Asian women of selling out simply because they have pursued different paths to success in the lifestyle sphere, which notably lacks in diversity

I read it after spending the whole weekend immersed in the controversy that ensued when Alison Roman criticized Chrissy Teigen and Marie Kondo in a viral interview. There are many legitimate reasons why outrage spread so quickly and vehemently in response, largely stemming from the disappointing fact that Roman accuses two Asian women of selling out simply because they have pursued different paths to success in the lifestyle sphere, which notably lacks in diversity. But I’m fairly certain there was also another element at play that had nothing to do with the interview and everything to do with the excuse it provided–an element that lit up the discourse like gasoline on an open flame, capturing the internet’s fickle attention with self-perpetuating fervor: Two months of pent-up desire for gossip.

Just as social distancing inhibits side conversations, it also impedes both fodder and mechanisms for gossip

This particular scenario was proof of why gossip gets a bad rap, its penchant for toxicity all the more evident on the rare occasions when it explodes across hundreds of different Twitter handles, but gossip doesn’t have to be mean-spirited to be nourishing. As MR contributor Meghan Nesmith points out in an essay on the psychology of gossip, “at its best… [it] provides a shared language and a platform for deep, communal understanding.” The Vice article echoes this sentiment with a quote from W.H. Auden’s 1937 essay, “In Defense of Gossip”: “There’s no reason whatever why gossip should make mischief. As a game played under the right rules, it’s an act of friendliness, a release of the feeling, and a creative work of art.”

My enjoyment of this type of gossip isn’t going anywhere–I’m only human, and I’m not immune to the thrill of bonding with someone else over a juicy tidbit or two. At the same time, I’m keenly aware of how difficult it is to do that right now. Just as social distancing inhibits side conversations, it also impedes both fodder and mechanisms for gossip. My tidbits from the last few weeks are about as juicy as a stale lime. So I’m curious: Have you found ways to enjoy gossip of the harmless variety during quarantine? If not, do you miss it, or are you glad for a reprieve? I’m eager to hear your thoughts.

Feature Image via CW.

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Bagel Bites and Video Games: The Indulgent Phase of My Quarantine Has Begun

Have you signed up for MR Thoughtline yet? It’s Man Repeller’s new text-based service that lights up phone screens with good bits from around the internet, opportunities to chat with cool people, and digital recesses to help your mind take a break from the news in favor of a recipe, physical activity or, trust us, very useful WFH outfit ideas. Subscribe here.

Remember when I said quarantine had turned me into my best and worst self? Lately it’s just been feeling like one of those. I’ll let you wager a guess as to which self it is.

I’ve entered a new phase of my quarantine existence: The Era of Indulgence. That makes it sound lavish, but it’s really more about catering to my smallest desires, like I’m ten years old again, and it’s really working for me.

For the past two weeks, once I’ve clocked out of work, I’ve melted into my couch. I’ve watched innumerable episodes of Sailor Moon, impulse-purchased Tollhouse cookie dough rolls and Bagel Bites and mini corn dogs from the grocery store, and played endless hours of a Nancy Drew PC game from 2004. At this point, the only thing missing from the equation is Saturday morning “Courage the Cowardly Dog” with fistfuls of dry Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

In addition to Nancy Drew, I also downloaded ‘Gone Home,’ a mystery PC game from 2013. Sleuthing is hard.

Anything that requires real mental or physical labor is basically too tall of an order these days. As long as I can take my inherent judgment off the table in those moments of indolence, that feels good right now. It’s taken me two weeks to get through a book that would have otherwise taken me two days, and that’s okay. Going for a run uphill with a mask on has sounded extremely unappealing—so the most exercise I’ve done is a couple crunches and a headstand in my bedroom. That’s also okay. I purchased a folding screen to serve as a headboard in my bedroom and it’s been lying flat in my living room for three weeks now. That’s less okay because it’s annoying the crap out of me, but at the same time I know it will happen when I feel like it can happen.

I’m not going to deny the correlation between these feelings and depression. It’s very much there. I’ve been depressed before, and I’ve been medicated before. I know this sadness. I remember what it’s like to not feel like I can move my body to even feed it. I remember what it’s like to not feel excitement in meals or conversation, or even in being outside. I remember what it’s like to ache for friendships and intimacy I’m not even sure I ever even had in my life.

One of my favorite current activities!

All of these feelings are back. Knowing this grief is collective, not just my own, is the first balm to the wound. The acetaminophen is to listen to the smallest needs that are coming from my body and my spirit. If unhappiness is the foundation upon which we’ve built our houses now, then you need to furnish that metaphorical house with things that can revive you. Whether that’s a Tollhouse cookie for breakfast or an hour of meditation, that’s for you to decide.

We’ve received this same message many times since entering quarantine. But after the initial adrenaline-rush of being our best, doing our best, exploring every corner of ourselves–it’s time for a recalibration. Going into week nine, I think it’s never been more urgent: Allowing yourself to settle into the jacuzzi-warm waters of compassion for yourself, your desires, your needs is about the best choice we have. Permit yourself the Era of Indulgence, if only to keep your head above water.

Have finished exactly one of these books.

I keep returning to the song “On I Go” from Fiona Apple’s quarantine album “Fetch the Boltcutters” (sorry if she’s not your girl). In it, Apple repeats over and over: “On I go, not toward or away / Up until now it was day, next day / Up until now in a rush to prove / But now I only move to move.” In a Vulture article, she explained that she started repeating this to herself when she was walking or hiking, and as she repeated it, it started to take on meaning: “What I really wanted it to be about was, there doesn’t have to be any specific meaning or reward or consequence of the things I’m doing. I do them for the doing of them, not for the results…I do things because I want to do them, because I like to do them. I don’t do them for any other reason.” I’m allowing it to be my mantra, too.

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I Don’t Know How Else to Say This, But… I Miss Feeling Hot

Have you signed up for MR Thoughtline yet? It’s Man Repeller’s new text-based service that lights up phone screens with good bits from around the internet, opportunities to chat with cool people, and digital recesses to help your mind take a break from the news in favor of a recipe, physical activity or, trust us, very useful WFH outfit ideas. Subscribe here.

A caveat: I did not move through the world pre-COVID thinking I was extremely hot all the time, or even some of the time. However, in hindsight, I did experience a feeling that I would now describe as hotness–mainly because there is no better way of describing it. It’s the feeling of getting dressed up to go out on a Saturday night. Of putting on a flick of eyeliner. Of pretending to argue when you’re really just flirting. Of a hand on your lower back. Of a bite of pasta stolen from a friend’s plate. Of staring across at a face, flushed warm and pink with candlelight. Of feeling especially attractive because your jeans make your gluteus maximus resemble a summer peach, or because of how someone looks at you when you walk into a room, or because you’re dancing to a song so bouncy it makes you want to jump in the air. Hot.

Look closely if you want to see the hole in my sock!!!!!!

Like I said, I wasn’t even really aware of this feeling until after it disappeared altogether, stymied by the mandate to stay inside, my subsequent lack of motivation to wear anything but pajamas and sweats, and the reality that instead of living alone with my soon-to-be-husband, I am now living with my parents, sister, grandmother, and significant-other-turned-quasi-sibling in what can only be described as the plot of a bizarre sitcom.

My three main activities are sleeping, working, eating, and re-watching Game of Thrones (currently on season four, thank you for following this journey). I haven’t worn pants without an elasticized waist in weeks. The word “eyeliner” might as well sound like “googoogeeksejkak”–i.e. pardon me? I love both of my parents dearly, but the way my dad chews bananas and the way my mom pronounces coronavirus (coronaVYrus) for some reason make me want to drop to the floor and lizard crawl to the nearest exit. The two most recent photos in my phone are of a massive tangle in my hair that I’m choosing to ignore and a piece of quiche I ate cold at 3:25 p.m. because I was too lazy to microwave it. Not hot–literally.

I told Austin that I miss feeling hot and he said, “you are hot!” but in the same tone of voice you might use when humoring a small child by talking to their imaginary friend Barbara. In fairness to him, my feelings vis à vis my hotness are not of particular importance in the grand scheme of life in quarantine, or even life in general, but the more I think about it the more I’m convinced that hotness–in its most figurative sense–encapsulates the unique joie de vivre of human existence, and boy do I miss it.

 

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A post shared by Man Repeller (@manrepeller) on May 5, 2020 at 2:51pm PDT

According to legend, otherwise known as my group chat, this yearning is widespread. One of my friends confessed that she misses having a reason to put on a lacy bra, or any bra at all really. Another said she never feels “hot” normally but quarantine is making her want to. Another mentioned she’s been more tempted to post thirst-trappy photos on Instagram recently.

My flirtation with flirtation.Fleur du Mal dress -- another option here

She’s not alone–based on the current contents of my social media feeds, which include far more underwear pics than usual, the desire to both access and consume hotness is rampant. And just look at what happened when Hulu released Normal People–a show that follows the romance of two horny Irish teens! The internet dripped with collective drool for days. An entire Instagram account was created to celebrate the hotness of Connell Waldron’s necklace. It is broadly acknowledged to be the perfect entertainment for These Times–not because it’s moody or poetic or emotional–but because it is so very, very hot.

The closest I’ve come to feeling hot during quarantine was a few weeks ago when I put on a strappy silk dress for the sole occasion of taking a few photos in golden-hour sunlight. There was something about the sensation of the fabric, and the warmth on my skin, and the way the shadows fell across my chest that filled me with a fraudulent kind of thrill. Afterward, I changed back into my sweats and braided my hair into pigtails and scraped off the browned bits in a container of guacamole so I could dip a chip into the bright green mush underneath. Not hot, but not terrible either.

Graphic by Lorenza Centi.

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