Leandra Medine's Blog, page 17

For Aurora James, Brother Vellies Is Just the Beginning

In this series, Man Repeller shines a light on standout independent, Black-owned fashion labels we think you should know about (and shop from!). Today we have Aurora James, creative director of Brother Vellies and founder of 15 Percent Pledge.

The designer and founder:

Aurora James

The brand:

Brother Vellies, a luxury accessories brand founded in 2013 with an emphasis on keeping traditional African design practices and techniques alive. 

Partially as a response to changing needs brought on by the pandemic, Brother Vellies has expanded recently with Bodega, a collection of small-batch goods like Cloud Socks and handmade mugs made from Oaxacan clay, and Something Special, a subscription service that sends you something sustainably- and ethically-made for your home each month during quarantine.

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Saturday Nights in December

New York City’s Reinvigorated Pride Weekend Started With a Bike Ride & Drag Show

On Friday night, for the first time in my life, Pride was really Pride. In recent years, I haven’t felt much “pride” toward the month of June—I’d go to the parade in Manhattan and spend the entire day partying, not truly thinking about what it is we should have been fighting for. But this year was different: Black Lives Matter and Bushwig joined together to kick off the weekend on Friday by bringing back the truest feeling of what created this movement—the Pride of Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, and Stonewall.

Bike riders started at Maria Hernandez Park in Bushwick, Brooklyn, led by amazing Black drag queens. I watched bikers and non-bikers go ahead of the crowd to block upcoming streets, clearing a path for the rest of us. I watched people pass out water and masks and hand sanitizer. I watched my community and our allies take care of each other.

The bike ride ended at McCarren Park in Williamsburg, where hundreds of people joined to sit on the dirt and grass and learn. We listened to stories from Black sex workers, Indigenous people, and amazing performers. Then, we danced our asses off—all while looking simply fabulous. Like many other people said on Friday night, this year was more than just a party for me. During a time when more people are seeing the injustices toward Black and Brown people and the LGBTQIA+ movement, this year was significant. It was Black Pride for me. It was my first Pride as it should’ve been, and continued to be, from the beginning. Here are some of the people I met there.

What I’m wearing:

I biked over in Keds and a pastel pink and cyan starburst skirt I scooped from a Proenza Schouler sample sale, paired with a bootleg Vogue shirt with a iridescent ruffle poof. Wigs were suggested, so I brought out my pink bob which I sewed pink and white flowers into for a floral-themed night at House of Yes. I dress in a joyful way for special occasions because I think we all should celebrate the beautiful parts of our lives as often as possible. The community here is something to celebrate, even if we’re out because we’re outraged by injustice.

What Pride means to me this year:

Pride is finding creative ways to be tender with myself and take care of my mental health so I can show up for my friends and my community. 2020, honestly, has been a tough year for growth and I hope to survive it.

—Rashida Prattis, she/her, Bed-Stuy

What I’m wearing:

Just a lovely black marble neoprene number with a mask to match. As a community, we’re beautiful and strong like stone when we look out for one another. So let’s get our voices heard but keep our masks up.

What Pride means to me this year:

Pride has gone back to its roots. Pride was and is a riot. We have the rights we have because of Trans women of color, Marsha and Sylvia. 50 years later, we’re still fighting that same fight. Pride became a party with corporations, and this year they cancelled that aspect, but they didn’t cancel Pride. The riot continues.

—Arya Klos, she/her/hers, Bed-Stuy

What I’m wearing:

My outfit is a second-hand find from a local thrift store in Brooklyn. It’s light and flouncy and really snugs my cleavage. Perfect for pounding the pavement!

What Pride means to me this year:

This year, Pride, for me, is about self-reflection and how I can use my privilege and voice to elevate Queer and Trans people of color. Pride is a protest! This year, we’ve shed the consumeristic and sanitized Frosted Flakes Capital One version of Pride. We’re taking it to the streets and fighting against systemic racism, police brutality, and institutionalized white supremacy! Enough is enough!

—Jason Hill, he/him/his, Bed-Stuy

What I’m wearing:

I got my outfit from Rainbow on Fulton St. and my “Chromatica” boots from Demonia. Then I threw on some cut-off shorts, fishnets, and called it a day.

What Pride means to me this year:

Pride is a way of life! We should all be proud regardless of our sexual orientation. This Pride is somewhat different this year with COVID-19 and the continual #blacklivesmatter—so I call this year’s pride “BLACK PRIDE.”

—Dezi 5, he/him, Bed-Stuy

What I’m wearing:

It’s an easy, breezy summer tube dress with a mes- front neon-green ‘do.

What Pride means to me this year:

This year pride means “fuck rainbow capitalism”

—Alan, he/him, Crown Heights

What I’m wearing:

My outfit is a combination of thrifted pieces and independent designers including I Do Declare and Bagtazo! Pastels are my very favorite and pretty much my exclusive palette. I love playing with different shades to create dynamic looks.

What Pride means to me this year:

Pride means acknowledging your legacy and wearing your identity with honor. I take so much pride in my place in Queer community and this year I feel so at home in these changing times. Pride means loving yourself and celebrating that love as a form of solidarity and activism for your fellow people! Pride. is. Strength.

—C’était Bontemps, he/they, Crown Heights

9 PHOTOS
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Friday night’s event raised nearly $10,000 for GLITS (Gays and Lesbians Living in a Transgender Society)—go here to learn more and donate.

The post New York City’s Reinvigorated Pride Weekend Started With a Bike Ride & Drag Show appeared first on Man Repeller.

Summer’s Simplest (But Arguably Best) Outfit Recipe

I can basically get through summer wearing nothing but some variation of this uniform: 1 part denim shorts, 1 part white shirt. Which denim shorts? Which white shirt? That’s the magic part. Start with whatever’s in your closet, and get creative.

That’s what I did here, in collaboration with two of my denim-shorts-and-white-top-wearing friends, Samra and Patricia. To come up with our ideas, we dove into conversations with you on Man Repeller’s Thoughtline and explored the comments from this personal shopping story. Here, our best bets for styling these two summer staples.

Make It Short and Sweet, By Me (Elizabeth)

A vintage white blouse is one step more stylish than a plain, white tee—and it requires fewer accessories to pull everything together. I recommend a vintage cotton option with fun embroidery or other detailing. When buying a vintage blouse, check your material! Breathable linen or cotton will treat you best in hot weather. The sleeves will stay rolled-up far better than, say, silk, when it gets too hot to have your arms fully covered.

I paired my cotton shirt with a pair of casual cut-offs to tone down the top’s sweetness. I’ve had these shorts for many years; to keep them soft, I wash them minimally and let them have some time in the sun—giving them a bit of a fade, which I like. For a pair that’s a bit more fun, I very much love these $55 upcycled shorts from Studio One Eighty Nine, which come in size XS to XXXL.

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Samra Michael Embraces Length

I tucked my white sleeveless mock-neck top into my black denim Bermuda shorts, offsetting the casual combination with a pair of white loafers. I kept my accessories simple yet fun by mixing a pair of silver abstract earrings, a gold watch, and my favorite funky rings.

Bermuda shorts have been a staple in my wardrobe because I find them to be figure-flattering and also pair nicely with crop tops and cute kicks. You could say this is my summer uniform. I am also really just a sucker for longer-length shorts in general: linen, denim, low-rise, high-rise, distressed, I’m here for all of it. As for the top half: I paired the long shorts with the sleeveless top because I enjoy the little-top-big-pants aesthetic.

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Patricia Nygaard Deconstructs the Basics

Here’s the simple approach: I was inspired to mirror the knots on my favorite white knotted sandals. White button ups feel really proper to me, so having a deep open-neck and wearing it braless is a fun play on a classic look.

To take it a step further, I tied the sleeves around my chest and tucked away the ends of each sleeve. From there, I brought the tails of the shirt around the front to my waist. 

The tube top inversion creates an easy canvas for accessories, so I’m wearing all my staples: jewelry passed on from family and given to me by sweet friends. The fan is a summer essential from Glazed NYC’s 2019 “Follow Me” collection, created by my friends Shelby Macklin and Banna Nega, and it paired perfectly with these vintage gold foil and lucite heels.

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How do you wear your summer uniform? Any additional summer market requests for us? Pop em in the comments!

The post Summer’s Simplest (But Arguably Best) Outfit Recipe appeared first on Man Repeller.

An Ethically-Made Swimsuit for Your Fire Escape This Summer? All Signs Point to lemlem

In this series, Man Repeller shines a light on standout independent, Black-owned fashion labels we think you should know about (and shop from!). And in turn, they’re passing the baton and spotlighting a handful of businesses they know and love. Today we have Liya Kebede, founder and creative director of lemlem.

The brand:

lemlem, an ethical label informed by Kebede’s Ethiopian roots with all garments and goods made by local artisans in Africa.

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To everyone who has recently joined our Lemlem family, who has tagged us and shared the love, thank you

How I’m Teaching a New Way of Looking at U.S. History

Niles Mattier teaches fifth and sixth grade at his alma mater, the Boston Collegiate Charter School, and in December 2018, he debuted an Instagram feed meant to be a gathering space for other queer, Black educators. We asked him to lead us through his current lesson plan: American History, from Early American Cultures to the present day. If you were in fifth grade more than 10 years ago, Mattier’s perspective might represent a worthy, and foundational, paradigm shift.

Every summer, I sit down and create what’s called a “scope and sequence.” I’ll look back at the curriculum to figure out what went well, what improvements I can make, and then I’ll plan out the units for the year — everything I want to teach the kids.

With this age group, they’re still very open. When I worked with high schoolers, some of them were, like, “I’m just not a math person.” Or, “I just don’t like science.” At this age, they haven’t formed those opinions yet. They’re still open to trying everything. That’s a really unique place.

I have six units currently:

I. Early American Cultures

This is a really important unit — Native American cultures are often glossed over, and I think this is a huge disservice to the kids. They’ll think that Native American people never existed — and that this land was always the United States. A lot of my fifth-graders originally thought that Native American people no longer existed — because we kind of present the history in a way where it’s, like, “Okay, yes, Native American people were here — and then real history starts when people come over from European countries. And snap, no more Native Americans.” I want to humanize that experience. There’s so much rich history on this land before colonialism, and that’s something we can’t ignore. That’s a history I don’t want to be erased.

II. American Colonization

One of the themes I try to weave through my classes is perspective: Who wrote this source? Whose voice is being heard? Whose perspective are we not hearing? Are there any biases here? If we’re reading a diary entry from Christopher Columbus, the way he sees people is going to be so different from the way he’s seen by Native American people. Unfortunately, a lot of those primary documents are from the European perspective, because much of the art and language of those Native American peoples was destroyed.

I want them to consider these loopholes — and then consider what they mean.
III. Government and The New Republic

We look at the binding documents of our country — The Declaration of Independence, The Constitution — and we look at where it’s written that all men are created equal. When we celebrate the Fourth of July, the American colonists are celebrating freedom from British rule. But whose Independence Day is this not? Of course, these documents change and evolve, but we look at the loopholes that persist anyway — like the 13th Amendment, which forbids slavery, “except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted.” I want them to consider these loopholes — and then consider what they mean: What’s the relationship between that loophole and current-day mass incarceration of African-American people?

IV. The Civil War and Reconstruction

Reconstruction is a pretty brief period of time — from about 1865 to 1877 — and some curriculums gloss over it. But it’s an important point in our history, when African-American people really are free, and they set up organizations and institutions that allow them to support themselves financially and educate their children. This is when we see the first African-American people elected to government positions. Five years earlier, someone could have been enslaved — and now they’re holding office.

I definitely think the news coverage has activated some fire in these students. They’ll ask me: “I’m 10 — is there anything I can do? My mom won’t let me go to the protests.”
V. The World Wars and The Civil Rights Movement

We talk about the Japanese internment camps — how after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and the U.S. goes to war with Japan, the government created this hysteria that Japanese Americans might be on the side of Japan and forced them into internment camps. They’re not killed there, or abused as people were in concentration camps, but people [in the U.S.] were taken from their homes, children weren’t educated, people were forced to give up their businesses. It’s a hurtful, harmful part of American history. Ignoring it is an injustice.

We’ll also talk about the Civil Rights movement. I try to bring in voices that aren’t often heard — like Bayard Rustin, who worked alongside Martin Luther King but didn’t come to the forefront of the movement because he was gay, and [civil rights leaders] thought he might distract from their message. Claudette Colvin was 15 and pregnant during the Montgomery bus boycotts. She decided she wasn’t going to give up her seat — nine months before Rosa Parks. But she didn’t become the face of the movement because she was a pregnant teenager.

VI. The Modern Day

The “resurgence” — and I put “resurgence” in quotes — of police brutality against African Americans is happening simultaneously with teaching it. One aspect of the classroom I really love is what’s called a fishbowl discussion. We’ll have a question — “Is the U.S. a fair and just country?” — and the students will have time to prepare for their positions. We’ll sit in a circle, they’ll bring quotes from texts they’ve read, charts and graphs and data. — and I think a lot of kids might have had different answers to that question, had this not been happening at the same time. Sometimes we’ll learn about the Civil Rights movement and they’ll think, “This stuff happened so long ago” — but no, it’s like, “This is happening now, and there’s a protest in downtown Boston, 15 minutes away from school.” They’re seeing all these things happen right in front of their eyes — and they’re able to use all these tools we’ve talked about, so they can analyze the media, they can talk about who wrote this story, and what kind of bias they might have. They can talk about those things when they watch the news with their parents.

I definitely think the news coverage has activated some fire in these students. They’ll ask me: “I’m 10 — is there anything I can do? My mom won’t let me go to the protests.” And I’ll say, “It’s okay if you can’t go to the protests — this is our district attorney, and if you want, I can help you send an email to them, saying how they can support schools better.” Even if you’re 10, there are things you can be doing. You can talk to your friends and your family. You can show them the evidence you’ve collected. And I hope they’ll bring those skills along with them, for the rest of their lives; I hope they’ll ask questions, and stay inquisitive. I’m a history teacher. That’s the job.

Graphic by Lorenza Centi.

The post How I’m Teaching a New Way of Looking at U.S. History appeared first on Man Repeller.

Swimsuits, Sandals, and More, From Brands That Are Giving Back and on Sale

The way we choose to spend our money has always been a political decision, and in this moment of historic unemployment and massive social change, each person’s shopping checklist may look a little bit different. We usually do a summer sale story around this time of year, and we decided that this time it would be most helpful to divide it into sections that make it easy to shop according to your needs or priorities right now. Below, you’ll find our edit of discounted pieces, for those keeping a close eye on their bank account, and a section for brands giving back, for those who want to make a positive impact with their spending.

This list will be updated over the next few weeks as sales are updated, so check back regularly.

Small Things to Spruce Up Your Shorts and Tee

Blobb via Café Forgot


B-Low the Belt


By Chari


Le Specs


I'MMANY


NOTTE


Blo_oberry via Café Forgot


Donni


SVNR


Michael Kors


Maryjane Claverol


Emilia Wickstead


Mounser


Benoît Missolin


Dodo Bar Or


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Speaking of Shorts…

Re/Done


Yevu Clothing


Eloquii


Lemlem


Nili Lotan


Marques'Almeida


Osklen


A.P.C.


Han Kjøbenhavn


Citizens of Humanity


J.Crew


Leset


Faithful the Brand


PacSun


Li-Ning


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Swimwear Because it is Indeed Summer

Jade Swim


Nubian Skin


Andrea Iyamah


Eloquii


Oséree


Onia


PacSun


Made By Dawn


Lygia & Nanny


GabiFresh x Swimsuits for All


JETS


Solid & Striped


Solid & Striped


Mara Hoffman


PacSun


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Sandals, Sneakers and a Couple of Flats for Summer

Nomasei


Alice Lancaster via Café Forgot


WANT Les Essentials


J.Crew


Brother Vellies


Adidas


Zouxou


& Other Stories


Staud


Brother Vellies


Staud


& Other Stories


Ancient Greek Sandals


Puma


Birkenstock


Arizona Love


Kurt Geiger


Camper


Loeffler Randall


Manebi


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Brands Giving Back:

AGMES – Donating 100% of net proceeds from their 5 best-selling styles to the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund through the end of June.

Anastasia Beverly Hills – Pledged to donate $1 million to various organizations. You can shop the sale of 25% off summer favorites.

Brooklinen – Donating to Black Lives Matter, Campaign Zero and Act Blue Bail Funds. You can shop the summer sale here.

By Chari – Donating to women and youth organizations including Equal Justice Initiative, NAACP, Black Girls Code, Girl Trek, and The Loveland Foundation for the remainder of June. You can shop their sale assortment here.

Café Forgot – Donating 100% of total sales from Café Forgot’s Donations Shop will go to Black Lives Matter.

Citizens of Humanity – Donating 100% of the retail selling price from website sales of masks to various causes fighting injustice for the month of June.

COCOACENTRIC – Donating 10% of online sales to the organization Until Freedom.

DONNI – Donating a portion of sales this season to The Bail Project. You can shop their sale here.

Eileen Fisher – $25,000 donation to the Loveland Foundation and a $25,000 donation to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. You can shop with an extra discount on sale items.

Frankie’s Bikinis – 20% of the proceeds from The Pride Collection will be donated to the Stonewall Community Foundation to support their mission to assist the LGBTQ+ community as well as specific Covid-19 related projects they are spearheading.

Glossier – Committing $500K in the form of grants to Black-owned beauty businesses.

Harlem Candle Company – Donating a portion of profits from the entire month of June to A Better Chance in celebration of Juneteenth and the Black Live Matter movement,

Honest Beauty – Pledged to donate $100,000 to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund and the Equal Justice Initiative.

I’MMANY – Donating 30% of the profits from their Flower Power Collection to The Loveland Foundation.

J.Hannah – All website proceeds from J.Hannah’s Dune nail polish will be donated to human rights non-profits like the Minnesota Freedom Fund, LA CAN, the NAACP.

Jacqueline Loekito – Donating 25% of the profits of the “Love Unites US” T-shirt to The Okra Project.

Jibri – Buy a mask and Jibri will donate to a worker on the front lines.

LACAUSA– Continuing to make contributions to the NAACP, Lunch on Me, and LA Food Bank and has previously donated to The Okra Project and Black Lives Matter LA.

MAC Cosmetics – Pledging $250K to nonprofit organizations fighting racial injustice and a 500% match to employee donations.

Marques’Almeida – 20% of every purchase will be donated to Black Lives Matter.

Mented Cosmetics – Donating a portion of every sale to support protestors around the country for entire month of June.

MIKOH – 30% off sales items with code ‘FIREWORK30’ from 7/2 – 7/5.

Nike – Pledged to donate $40 million over the course of four years to social justice organizations that support the Black Lives Matter movement.

Nili Lotan – Launched NL Giving Back which offers discounted pieces from previous seasons and donates 10% of proceeds to the NAACP’S Legal Defense and Education Fund.

Nomasei – Donating 10% of proceeds through the month of July to The Loveland Foundation.

Noto Botanics – Donating a portion of profits of the Agender Oil to civil rights-based organizations.

NOTTE – Donated 20% of proceeds from last week’s sale to Black Girls Smile. The brand is also currently donating 50% of the proceeds from the collection to Food Bank for New York, as an on-going donation program. You can use code ‘TAKECARE’ for 10% off your order.

Outdoor Voices – Donating $25k to Black Lives Matter Global Network.

Pamela Love – 10% of jewelry sales and 100% of candle sales will be donated to Campaign Zero and Black Lives Matter through the month of June.

Peter Do – 100% of net profits from website sales to be donated to Black-founded organizations and frontline charities for the entire month of June.

Sephora – Participating in the 15% Pledge, dedicating 15% of their inventory to Black-owned businesses.

SETactive – Donating a portion of all sales from the month of June to the NAACP.

Staud – 10% of online sales will be donated to Color of Change for the month of June. You can shop their sale here.

SVNR – Designer Christina Tung is facilitating the distribution of masks at NYC protests and has coordinated 3500 masks directly to BLM organizers to date.

The Mighty Company – 20% of all profits from the collection will be donated to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund.

Vernon François – Donating 35% of online sales to organizations dedicated to the fight of racism and injustice for the entire month of June.

Veronica Beard – Veronica Beard’s Gives Back partnership with​ Good+Foundation is providing critical goods for low-income parents and caregivers and has set up a Good+ Crisis Fund to aid those in need. Veronica Beard will be donating a portion of sales from every online transaction to the cause.

Whimsy + Row – Participating in the 15% Pledge, dedicating 15% of their inventory to Black-owned businesses plus they have donated to the George Floyd Memorial Fund, Black Lives Matter, Black Vision Collective, and Reclaim the Block.

YanYan Knits – 20% of the total online sales from June and July will go to The Loveland Foundation.

Zadig & Voltaire – 100% of the proceeds from their Art is Hope Collection will be to . You can shop the sale with offerings up to 40% off with code ‘ARTISHOPE.’

Brands Offering Discounts:

& Other Stories – Up to 60% off.

ABC Carpet & Home – 30% off site-wide from 7/2-7/6.

Adidas – Up to 50% off.

Alex Mill – Sale assortment on women’s and men’s.

Alpha Industries – 50% off sale.

Andrea Iyamah – Price reductions in swim and ready-to-wear.

Another Feather – Summer sale assortment.

ASOS – Up to 80% off.

Bagatiba – 15% off with code SMALLBIZ15

Coco & Breezy – Up to 40% off select styles.

Cushnie – Up to 55% off the Resort and Spring collections.

Eloquii – Up to 80% off with code ‘SALETIME.’

Farfetch – Up to 50% off.

Galerie LA – End of Season sale.

J.Crew – Extra 60% off sale styles with code ‘SALEAWAY.’

Jade Swim – Sale swimwear plus subscribe & receive 10% off your first order.

Kai Collective – Up to 79% off.

Karl Kani – Sale assortment plus subscribe & receive 10% off your first order.

Kirna Zabete – Up to 70% off.

Lemlem – Sale assortment plus subscribe & receive 10% off your first order.

Luisa Via Roma – 30-60+% off select styles

Machete – Up to 70% off past seasons.

Maison de Mode – Sale assortment plus subscribe & receive 10% off your first order.

Mansur Gavriel – 30-50% off basics and luxe accessories.

Martine Rose – Sale assortment on site.

Maryam Nassir Zadeh – 30% off select styles.

MATCHESFASHION – Up to 60% off.

Merlette – Summer sale assortment.

Need Supply – Up to 60% off.

Net-a-Porter – Up to 50% off.

Nordstrom – Up to 40% off.

Nubian Skin – Select items on sale.

Oak + Fort – Up to 50% off.

The OUTNET – Up to 70% off.

PacSun – Up to 50% off site-wide.

Sachin & Babi – 50% off with code ‘JULY450.’

Saks Fifth Avenue – Up to 70% off Designer Sale.

Selva Negra – Sale assortment on site.

Solid & Striped – Sale assortment on site.

SSENSE – Up to 70% off.

Swimsuits for All – Extra 40% off already reduced prices.

Topshop – Rotating discounts on different categories of summer styles.

Tory Burch and Tory Sport – Up to 60% off with code ‘EXTRA.’

Totokaelo – Up to 60% off.

TOVE – Sale assortment on site.

Universal Standard – Shop capsules and save 25%.

Verishop – Up to 70% off.

WANT Les Essentials – 50% off sale.

Wales Bonner – Sale assortment on site.

The Webster – Up to 60% off.

William Okpo – 10% off first time purchase with code ‘OKPOLOVE’ at checkout.

Yevu Clothing – Sale assortment on site.

Yoox – Up to 40% off plus clearance section.

Zouxou – Sale assortment on site.

Feature Image via Marques’Almeida.

The post Swimsuits, Sandals, and More, From Brands That Are Giving Back and on Sale appeared first on Man Repeller.

For Future Wedding Guests and Future Brides, Cushnie Is a Bold, Bright Light

In this series, Man Repeller shines a light on standout independent, Black-owned fashion labels we think you should know about (and shop from!). And in turn, they’re passing the baton and spotlighting a handful of businesses and brands they know and love. Today we have Carly Cushnie, CEO and creative director of CUSHNIE.

The brand:

CUSHNIE, a luxury women’s ready-to-wear and bridal collection.

View this post on Instagram

Take a peek at the new collection. Available to preorder exclusively at @modaoperandi #BTS #FW20 #CUSHNIE

3 People on Navigating Their Relationship Doubts During the Pandemic

Seven billion people have collectively navigated the ripple effects of COVID-19 for at least three months now—ripple effects that have changed the way we live our lives, and conduct our relationships. As parts of our lives begin to tentatively open back up, many of us are taking our first steps back into a world we closed the door to more than 100 days ago—either in the company of, or separate from, our romantic partners (or romantic possibilities). We talked to three women who are grappling with relationship doubts triggered by this global limbo, trying to navigate the best path forward.

“I don’t know if I’m just bored and want the attention, or if I actually really like her.” —Lucy

I started to talk to this girl in January. It was really casual at first, but we were going on dates–it wasn’t like we were just hooking up. We admitted that we had feelings for each other, but we wanted to take it really slow. Those plans were interrupted when quarantine hit in March. I went to Atlanta to stay with my parents, thinking I would only be gone for a week or so, but it’s been three months and I’m still here.

Our relationship became entirely virtual, which is weird considering we aren’t even officially in a relationship. It really impacted our momentum. I can’t tell if she’s lost interest in continuing things, or if the mixed signals I’m getting are stemming from the experience of being in quarantine, where everyone is somewhat depressed. I’m also confused about my own feelings. I don’t know if I’m just bored and want the attention, or if I actually really like her.

I was able to go back to North Carolina, where we both live, at the end of May, and got to see her outside while staying six feet apart. We picked up right where we left off and things felt good, but then I had to go back to Atlanta and the momentum fizzled again. It’s hard being long-distance when the relationship is so new. We don’t have that built-in foundation yet.

I had an inkling that she was talking to other people, so I downloaded Tinder again (because that’s where we originally matched) and saw she’d added more recent photos, so I was like, “Ah, dang it.” I decided I needed to talk to her about it. I asked if she was seeing or talking to anyone else, and she told me she was only talking to me romantically.

She also said she could see us dating and being in a relationship, when we’re able to actually be together in person. That gave me a bit more clarity, but still it gets confusing. I read into everything now, you know? It’s so hard to understand how someone else feels when you’re only communicating over text message.

“The scariest part of a wedding is that it’s only the beginning.” —Bianca

I live in London with my partner of four years and our two dogs. We were supposed to get married at the end of May, but we had to cancel the wedding due to the pandemic. As soon as we did, this huge feeling of relief flooded me. I work from home as a private chef, so ultimately not a lot changed for me with the enforced quarantine, but my fiancé, who works in the (currently shut-down) film industry, was suddenly at home indefinitely. The dynamic in the flat is so different from what I’m used to. He’s almost treating it like an extended holiday, which bugs me quite a lot. I’m just like, “When are you going to leave the house?” And then, “Why am I not happy to be with you here?”

I’ve been experiencing significant feelings of doubt, and have considered ending our relationship. This is super hard for me, as we have been living together for three years and our lives are very entangled, not to mention that it will be challenging to find somewhere I can live and work. I can’t afford the rent in our flat by myself long-term, and I’m not in a position to share with a roommate when I need to have 90% sole ownership of the kitchen most days.

It’s difficult to try to make this decision while still in lockdown. I can’t tell if quarantine is revealing the reality of our relationship, or if the circumstances are so unique that I need to take my feelings with a grain of salt.

Pre-lockdown, my fiancé and I spent between two and three waking hours together on an average weekday. Now, we spend 18 working hours together daily, and I wonder if it has expedited the progress of our relationship. In other words, is a month of lockdown equivalent to six months of being together under normal circumstances, and would these doubts have manifested eventually, just further down the road?

I keep thinking about how the scariest part of a wedding is that it’s only the beginning. You think you’re about to pass the finish line, and then it’s all over. But it’s not over, it’s the first day of your marriage.

“He seems unsure of what he wants… and I don’t know if I should wait around while he figures it out.” —Ashwini

I started seeing a guy I met on Hinge a month and a half before a complete lockdown was imposed in India, and things moved pretty quickly between us (when you click, you click!). Two weeks into seeing each other, he asked me to leave my toothbrush at his place. I ended up quasi-living there at least three days a week, and it was great. We would order takeout and watch movies together almost every night.

Cut to the pandemic–our ability to meet up was totally disrupted. I couldn’t go to his place. There were no Ubers, there were no regular taxis, no buses, no trains, no metro. There was nothing. At first we were still talking to each other every day, but he ended up moving back to his hometown to live out the remainder of quarantine with his parents, and we started communicating less–out of sight, out of mind, I guess. That’s really when I started to feel a strain on the relationship.

I asked him if he had started seeing someone else, but he assured me he hadn’t. He said he was still into me, he just didn’t know how to navigate this situation since we can’t see each other and don’t know when we’ll be able to. I’m trying to be understanding about that. The world is falling apart, and every person has their own way of dealing with it. Mine would be leaning onto him for a bit of moral support or whatever, but clearly he operates differently. So I said, “Whatever it is that you want I’ll make peace with it, I’m sure I can meet you halfway.”

He seems unsure of what he wants, though, and I don’t know if I should wait around while he figures it out. I don’t want him to feel pressured or rushed. I just want to be able to pick up my phone and talk to him whenever I want. That would be enough for me right now.

We’ve decided to take things down a notch and hopefully go back to how we were before the pandemic caused this rift. I hate it, but at least he is not seeing someone else. I want to believe there’s hope for us.

The post 3 People on Navigating Their Relationship Doubts During the Pandemic appeared first on Man Repeller.

We’re Dreaming About First-Date Outfits, Thanks to William Okpo

In this series, Man Repeller shines a light on standout independent, Black-owned fashion labels we think you should know about (and shop from!). And in turn, they’re passing the baton and spotlighting a handful of businesses they know and love. Today we have Darlene and Lizzy Okpo, founding designers of the label William Okpo.

The brand:

William Okpo, a womenswear line named after the designers’ father (though they have expanded into beauty, too, with a five piece set of lipstick and nail polish in Tumeric and Autumn Brown).

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Girlfriends 2018….

3 Glittering Ways to Wear Makeup With a Mask for Pride

It’s near-impossible not to be enamored with the beauty brand We Are Fluide once you’ve acquired the knowledge that they named the color of their sparkly green eyeliner “Area 51.” But whether you already know the names of their products, you’ve probably already seen their ultra-pigmented liquid lipsticks, holographic lip glosses, or 7-free nail polish all over Instagram or on TikTok.

Born into existence in the year 2018, We Are Fluide’s still pretty sprightly in the world of makeup brands, though over the past two years the company has quickly made a name for itself by amplifying young, queer voices, to promote broad definitions of beauty and to inspire others to create their identities on their own terms. Sweetening the deal, all of their products are vegan, cruelty-free, parabens-free and phthalates-free.

2020 is the year of predicaments, and here’s one that the We Are Fluide team is uniquely qualified to address: How do you do your makeup when you have to wear a mask to any sort of a Pride celebration? Their solution, essentially: Smize.

Three members of the Fluide team swooped in with glosses, crayons, liners and glitter for eye-centric makeup: Hawwaa, Priss and Charlie each walked us through their own beauty looks for a Pride month when masks will be claiming a lot of valuable facial real estate. Below, they prove that necessity is the mother of invention (with directions and tips, of course). Just add a mask.

Hawwaa Ibrahim, in a look tailormade for a face shield

Hawwaa Ibrahim is a non-binary, queer, Muslim fashion designer. They love makeup that enhances their whimsical wardrobe and releases their inner child.

How to do it yourself:

“To create this look, I started with Liquid Lipstick in Dalston Superstore, and used a blending brush to work it into my crease. I winged it out at the outer corners of my eyes while also lining my undereye with it.

Then I used Liquid Lipstick in Babetown on a smaller blending brush and blended that into the previous color, working it up toward my brow bone and blending it into the inner corner of my undereye as well. After that was blended, I cut my crease using lipgloss in Oasis, and packed the Aura Glitter in Pride onto the gloss.

After that, I lined my eyelids with the Universal Liner in Area 51 and winged it out. I took that same Universal Liner and created fake eyelashes on the bottom of my eyes. I put the lipgloss in Oasis in the inner corners of my eyes for some highlight, and used a small brush to highlight my brow bone with Universal Gloss in Roxy.

For fun: On my lips, I used the Liquid Lipstick in Dalston Superstore, and layered the Oasis Lipgloss on top of it.

To finish off, I highlighted my cheekbones and nose with the Universal Gloss in Roxy.”

Priss Plastic, wielding proof that eyes are the windows to the soul

Priss Plastic is an artist, model, and musician originally from North Carolina. They studied studio art at Marymount Manhattan College in New York City. Priss uses makeup as a vehicle for self-expression as well as artistic exploration, drawing inspiration from the golden age of disco as well as the aesthetics associated with 80s synth-pop, dream pop, and 90s house music.

How to do it yourself:

“I love love love shimmer and anything that catches light, so I started with the Universal Crayon in Celestial (which has a gorgeous purple holographic effect) and applied it from my inner eye corner to the center of my eyelid.

Then I went over the entire lid with Universal Liner in Crystal Cluster. After that, drawing inspiration from the Trans Pride flag, I applied the Biodegradable Glitter in Pink to my inner corner, Aura Glitter in Silver on my center lid and the Aura Glitter in Eclipse on my outer corner for a shimmering gradient effect.

Lastly I applied Universal Gloss in Elysium and Lip Gloss in Oasis on my cheekbones for a highlight effect.”

Charlie Fletcher, ready to smile with their eyes

Originally from Los Angeles, Charlie is a Communications Design major at Parsons in New York City, and loves using makeup as a form of artistic expression.

How to do it yourself:

“I used Universal Gloss in Roxy on my eyelids. Then, to highlight, I applied Aura Glitter in Silver on my eyelids, Universal Liner in Retrogayz, and Lip Gloss in Wet.

I love a bottom eyeliner moment, so I began by sketching out the liner with an orange pencil liner, and then used the Universal Liner in Retrogayz as a topper. I went in with Universal Gloss over my eyelids for a wet, glittery look, but also as a base for the Aura Glitter to stick and stay.

Then, using my fingers, I dabbed Aura Glitter on the outer corner of my eyes and went outwards, elongating and lifting my lids and brows. Glitter is very important when creating a “pride look,” in my opinion—it just takes your look to the next world. I also used Lip Gloss in Wet to top off my lips. This look was super quick and easy to make. It gives me 80s space vibes.

We Are Fluide has taught me that there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do makeup. Makeup is simply a form of self-expression. What’s lovely about their products is that they’re universal—they can all be used anywhere with no limits! I love how much We Are Fluide embraces uniqueness and diversity. I strongly believe that there are no rules to beauty—just do whatever feels right.”

We Are Fluide is donating 10% of sales from their Pride collection to the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, in recognition of the founders of the Stonewall movement and the Black Trans community, who have contributed so much to Pride but remain vulnerable and at-risk.

The post 3 Glittering Ways to Wear Makeup With a Mask for Pride appeared first on Man Repeller.