Leandra Medine's Blog, page 107
June 28, 2019
Pardon Me, But Have You Read June’s 12 Most Popular Stories??
I hate to alarm you, but June is about to end. Precious June!!! The month that brings us summer delights and Pride, the longest day of 2019, and an unsettling reminder that another year is somehow almost halfway through. (How?!) Thankfully, we’ve been blessed with many things to remember this month by, from this viral Meryl Streep tweet to the teeth-brushing debate that divided the office. We also have the 12 stories below, which were all mutually loved by Team MR and our always :sparkleemoji: community this month. Enjoy reliving the magic that was June and then join me in getting excited for JULY. See you there (in the future!).
1. I Dressed Like Pete Davidson for a Week, and I’ll Never Be the Same
“In studying Pete’s singular sense of style, its profundity compels me at every turn: He plays expertly with proportion and color, dressing within an avant-garde palette of soft wisteria purples, Denver Nuggets blues, and hot flamingo pinks. His pant-leg-to-sock ratio is always right, though rarely the same. In his sartorial approach, he’s a little like a raven, collecting and combining shiny objects in ways they were not originally intended but instead coalesce into a whole greater than the sum of its parts. He radiates a yearlong feeling of summer, which is counterintuitive considering it’s the only season that his primary cultural touchstone doesn’t air, but has anyone ever seen him in a puffer coat?”
2. 14 People on How They *Actually* Made New Friends as an Adult
“I‘ve read enough think pieces and essays about making friends as an adult to recognize that any friendship forged amidst the hurdles of work, physical distance, dating, social anxiety, and preconceived notions is—to some extent—unlikely. I also know that it’s this precise element of rareness that makes them so worthy of the pursuit. There’s a wealth of advice for how to conquer the challenge (sign up for a pottery class! DM people on Instagram!), but very little literature on how the implementation of these protocols actually pans out.”
3. The Going-Out Tops of ‘The OC’ Just Got Their Own Instagram
“Spaghetti straps — or, more generally, tops — are a brilliantly niche slice of the show’s deep vault of early-aughts fashion to explore, because they are so indicative of what Style with a capital ‘S’ looked like at the time. It was a wild era in which low-rise and low-cut thrived in equal measure.”
4. The Very Best Swimsuits, According to Team MR
“If you think about it, swimwear is just underwear that’s socially acceptable to wear in public. Sure, it’s made of pool-appropriate fabrics and designed to keep the necessary body parts concealed while you splash around—but really, when you’re shopping for a new swimsuit, you’re shopping for a bra and undies that you’ll feel okay wearing in front of hundreds of strangers. Which is why finding a good one can be so stressful.”
5. What’s Your Most Beloved Budget Purchase? We’ll Go First…
“One of my oldest items of clothing is a striped long-sleeve T from the men’s section of Forever21. I bought it for $10 when I was 19, on one of the many voyages my friends and I took to the store. The space was brand new and a boon to our little college town, with its parking lot-sized retail floor and 30-foot church-like ceilings.”
6. Introducing ‘You Look Moist’: Skin Routines in Exquisite Detail
“My skin is definitely Zoë Kravitz’s character, Bonnie, in Big Little Lies—seemingly placid and chill on the surface, but has been through some heavy *stuff* in the past and is easily triggered into combustion.”
7. Relationship Hindsight: 9 People on Choosing to Stay or Go
“If bad advice could win awards, I’d nominate the utterly meaningless ‘When you know, you know.’ That the right choice could bring with it a sense of existential certainty, of placid unquestioning — that there even is one definitive right choice at all, one we can locate through some kind of gut magic — is, to my mind, a foolish idea at best, and a dangerous one at worst.”
8. 6 AC-Friendly Summer Outfits I Want to Steal From Instagram
“Lately I’ve been better though—about ripping off people’s outfits, I mean—because dressing for warm weather is less instinctive for me, and I’m discovering that imitation gets me much further than feeling it out. As such, I’ve been bookmarking more outfits on Instagram lately and have, on an occasion or three, actually used them.”
9. Olsen Astrology: Your MKA Look, According to the Zodiac
“It’s a little on the nose that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are Geminis. Aside from being literal twins, a thread of duality runs through their public personas: They’ve achieved legendary success in two industries; they made careers of reinventing themselves only to launch brand of quality basics insulated from trend pressure; they don’t use social media but are enjoying a well-documented renaissance on Instagram; even their production company is called Dualstar Entertainment.”
10. I Took 30 Days of Mirror Selfies and Processed a Lot of Feelings
“I turned 30 in December and, in the months leading up to it, started to ask who the hell I am. Partially, perhaps, because I thought I was supposed to. I started to break down every part of myself and try to build back up even though I didn’t actually know what I was building. Whether it was worth breaking!”
11. Instagram Might Take Away Likes & Team MR Has *Thoughts*
“Social capital is a very real phenomenon and has come to represent a newfangled currency that is directly correlated to a person’s cultural relevance. The number of followers that a person maintains can genuinely change your perception of them—you might respect them more, or take them more seriously, feel further inclined to trust their opinion or exactly the opposite depending on whether you’re an anarchist. Or a purist.”
12. We Totally Forgot How Weird the First Episode of SATC Was
“To our nostalgic, cringey pleasure, the first-ever question Carrie poses to no one is, “Why are there so many great unmarried women and no great unmarried men?” If the consistently underwhelming men in the show are any indication, this query would ultimately serve as a tentpole of SATC, which claimed to be about sex but was actually about women.”
Feature photo by .
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MR Writers Club Prompt: The Worst Mistake You’re Glad You Made
Have you heard of the Man Repeller Writers Club? Every month we pose a story idea, you write about it and then send it to us (write@manrepeller.com) with the subject line “MR Writers Club.” We go through all submissions and post the winner on the first Friday of every month. Ready? Let’s go.
The great irony of trying to do the right thing is that, sometimes, the wrong thing is just what you need. A hard lesson, a good cry, a strong jolt to the shoulders. It’s hard to remember that mistakes are a necessary and beautiful part of growth when you’re working so hard to avoid them. But is there any other way?
It’s one of the most maddening paradoxes of life itself—that the right combination of ineptitude, chance, and savvy can make so much more magic than careful deliberation. It’s why great ideas often come from shitty ones; why the people we find annoying can become the ones we love the most. It’s why our greatest missteps have a strange way of landing us right where we belong, and why the phrase “no regrets” has picked up so much tattoo speed.
Should these realities change how we live or what we do? I’m not sure, but what I do know is they can change how we process. For this month’s Writers Club, I want you to mine your life’s biggest mistakes and redeem them. What wrong turn led you somewhere right? How did it feel and how did it change you? Send your answer in 500 words or less to write@manrepeller.com on or before July 26th, and who knows? Perhaps all could be forgiven.
Photos by .
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June 27, 2019
Come Make New Friends at Man Repeller HQ This Summer
Some quick math (boooo): We’ll be doing three events two times so that’s a grand total of six events! You can come to the same thing twice, I won’t stop you, but I know that lots of folks duck in and out of the city during the summer and we wanted to give everyone the opportunity to hang out in a way that is most appealing to them (yaaaay).
Ready to register w/o listening to me babble on? Go here for your tickets and I’ll see you there. The rest of you, check your calendars and start your socializing engines because here! we! go!
New Moon, New You
Dates: 7/31 & 8/28
Time: 6:30 – 8pm
Tix: $65
The moon is so hot right now. Join MR and 3rd Ritual for a celebration of the new moon. Harness the power of the sun’s, sexier, more mysterious cousin (she’s new in town!) and learn a bevy of ways to stay grounded, focused, and in touch with yourself.
After a quick mix and mingle we’ll be breaking out into three groups so everyone has the opportunity to experience all the offerings: a mandala station, a numerology workshop, and a pressure point workshop, among other celestial happenings.
MR-nival
Dates: 7/17 & 8/14
Time: 6:30 – 8pm
Tix: $75 (includes piercing and jewelry)
Like the carnival in your hometown that pops up in a random parking lot every summer, the MR-nival is here for a limited time! This includes all the popcorn, cotton candy, and funnel cake you can imagine, but none of the hastily assembled rides! We’ll have plenty of fair-like activities including the you’re-not-the-boss-of-me piercing station of your dreams, but sanitary! Dreaming of piercing number 3, 4, 7, 12? Why not make it a group hang and come to the MR HQ where real, actual piercing professionals will be on hand to pierce anything above the neck, all the better to ready your head handles for a bevy of dangly accessories? It’ll be like a hygienic and supportive version of that scene in Grease.
There will be games (so many games), folks on hand to airbrush whatever you want onto a T-Shirt, temporary tattoos, and I personally will be engaging in a hot-dog eating contest in which the only competition is myself. There will also be plenty of prizes in the form of Repeller goodies. Meet you by the tilt-o-whirl! Just kidding, that would be against code.
MR Reads 2 You
Dates: 7/23 & 8/20
Time: 6:30 – 8pm
Tix: $45
Is it a reading? Is it ASMR? Is it a public space in which it is 100% socially acceptable for you to fall asleep? Yes to all. Join members of the MR editorial team for a reading and writing workshop. Want to craft quippier prose? There will be time for that. Want to forget your worries and remember the joys of hearing a story tenderly read to you? Oh yeah, that’s on the schedule. Join us for a super low-pressure but inspiring evening of reading and writing.
If all that isn’t enough to convince you, there will be drinks and snacks annnnnd you can shop the Repeller collection IRL! Hope 2 C U there!
Feature photo by Cody Guilfoyle.
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Men Share Their Abortion Stories: “That Kid Would Be 33 Now”
A woman’s right to choose whether to have a child was legally recognized in the landmark case of Roe v Wade in 1973, and the pro-choice movement has been focused on destigmatizing abortion ever since. In the internet age, this has often taken the form of first-person narratives by women. This was true when Shout Your Abortion was founded in 2015, and it was true in May, when the Alabama Senate passed the most restrictive abortion law in the country. In the nationwide upset that followed, a new hashtag, #YouKnowMe, called for women to share their abortion stories to highlight both the prevalence and emotional nuance of terminating a pregnancy. It went viral.
While the tens of thousands of responses were moving, they set another reality into stark relief: Men have not been sharing their experiences at an equal volume to women–and that needs to change. To help push this forward, we’re publishing a series of abortion stories from the perspective of men. We hope this will offer a path to a more balanced dialogue as well as lighten the burden on women, who feel called again and again to sacrifice their privacy (and, sometimes, comfort) to defend their humanity.
First, Natalie interviewed Rob, then Alana interviewed Lock, Violet interviewed Matthew, and last week, I interviewed Jon. For our fifth and final installment of Men Share Their Abortion Stories, Katie interviews her father about the abortion he went through with her mother.
I found out my mom had an abortion when I read her memoir. I was 16—a pure youngin heading into my junior year of high school—and she was dead. I couldn’t run to her with probing questions then, and seven years later, I still can’t. But in the past couple years, this facet of her life has made its way into the forefront of my mind. I’ve come to see my mom as a strong and confident lifeline for what she did; she’s helped me through my own pregnancy scares.
For so long, this story felt like Mom’s. I never thought about asking my father, John, the one who got her pregnant 34 years ago, what the experience was like. But with everything happening, I now know it’s Dad’s story too. I think it would be daunting if we eliminated the men from the equation—forgetting their part, and their responsibility, too. My dad lives by the I’ll-only-tell-you-if-you-explicitly-ask philosophy, so I finally decided to do just that.
Katie: How old were you and mom when she got pregnant?
John: I was 24 and she was 19, it was 1986. It happened in Yellowstone. I think it happened on my birthday, actually.
You were living in Alabama and she was in Pennsylvania when you found out, right?
Yes, I had been in Auburn, Alabama for about three weeks when she called me saying she had been really sick and had gone to her dad [an ER doctor] about it. He asked if she could be pregnant, she said, “No way,” but they did a test and she was pregnant, of course.
What was your preferred or if any form of contraception before she got pregnant?
Condoms. She started the pill once we started to live together, after the abortion, and through ‘till we got married.
How did she tell you she was pregnant?
She didn’t call and say she was pregnant, she called and said, “We made a date for an abortion. You can come up if you want to, but I won’t hold it against you if you don’t.” It was a long drive, but I drove up for the weekend and she had the procedure done on Friday. I left on Monday. I really didn’t have a say in it whatsoever. They [her and her parents] decided she was going to have an abortion and did it at the hospital, and changed [anonymized] her name.
Did you know what the procedure was?
No, not really, because like I said, I had no say. It was a surgery, and it had to be outpatient because she was home the same day. I didn’t even know you could do that outside of an abortion clinic at the time.
Do you know how much they paid for the abortion?
I think they comped it for her dad actually. I don’t know for sure though, because she was under a fake name so maybe they didn’t know it was his daughter.
They never asked you to pay or help out?
No.
Would you have?
Well, sure, if I had to. But like I said, that never came up. I was never a part of the process.
Did you consider not going?
I wanted to be there for her. I’m sure it would’ve been easier if I hadn’t gone, but I was a part of it so I felt I should be there for her when it got resolved.
How much do you remember from that weekend?
Not much, it was a long time ago. I think I just held her. I’m sure there were long pauses between statements, but it didn’t create a chasm. We both knew that was the right decision and we were fine with it. I was just there for the ride.
It’s interesting—the term “along for the ride,” it sounds like it was something that happened and then you just moved on from it.
Well, it was a big decision, but I just wasn’t in on it. I would have agreed with the choice—she was 19, she was in college, we were apart, it would’ve been hard—but it would have been nice to have a discussion about it.
And the abortion was definitely what mom wanted?
Yeah, well you know, that’s something I never asked her. I never asked if she was just told the abortion was going to happen or if she had a say in it.
Did mom seem depressed or changed after?
Well, I was only there a couple of days.
Y’all never talked about it over the phone? How she was feeling and doing?
No, not really. Not that I recall. I mean, we talked about it some, but not monthly or weekly and she didn’t seem to struggle with it. She had anxiety about a lot of things, but that wasn’t one she expressed to me.
Did y’all ever discuss it later into your marriage or when she got sick, especially?
Yeah we did, but more so before you kids. We wondered if they were a boy or a girl, whether they would’ve been healthy, what they would be doing now. She had Nick when she was 26, so the kid would’ve been seven. But once we had Nick it didn’t come up, and then we had you and we were off and running. Then, when she was sick, she said something to Nick in terms of there being angels and maybe the child she aborted. But we’ll never know. She knows it now, but we don’t.
When or how often do you think about it?
That’s a good question. I mean, it’s not like I think about it once a week or once a month. It comes in waves—like if I see something on TV or hear someone talking about it. You know with all these new laws being passed, it comes to my mind. That kid would be 33 now.
How did you feel about abortion before you found out mom was pregnant?
I was pro-abortion. It just makes sense. To raise a child, your mom and I would have loved it, but I don’t think we could’ve cared for it the way we did you and Nick. So that’s where the difference lies. What bothers me in today’s world is somebody that knows nothing about a woman’s life can tell her she has to have a kid because she is pregnant.
Do you think the time period it happened with you and mom impacted how it was processed or how the decision was made?
Yeah I do, because although it was controversial back then, it was nothing like it is today with all the polarization. Roe V. Wade was 1973, and it was 1986 when we got pregnant, so the rule was the law of the land and no one was really challenging it—that I knew of. But I was, of course, in my own little world half the time too, since I was 26
Do you think mom having an abortion impacts how you feel about what’s going in politics and legislation today?
Absolutely. What I don’t like now is that it’s old white guys telling women, “I’m sorry you have to have this kid when it was a mistake, unplanned or an accident.” I heard this congressman compare it to slavery if you force a woman to have a baby, and that’s kind of true when you think about it. That’s a shame. Mom was probably past six weeks pregnant when she found out—I think she was 7 or 8 weeks—so with the new proposed bans, she would have had to carry to term.
[Ed. note: Nine states (Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Ohio, Missouri, Arkansas, and Utah) have passed measures this year to ban abortion as early as six weeks into a pregnancy, and several others have proposed such measures].
Did you ever tell anyone that you and mom had an abortion?
No, no. Then mom’s book came out, and I actually would’ve taken it out of the book if I could. I didn’t know what people felt after reading that. It doesn’t really matter what they think—it’s what we did—but I guess I care.
Do you think the abortion story is yours to tell?
Yeah, it takes two to make a baby, so I had a part in it, a responsibility, it’s just not a story I particularly like to tell. I’m not proud of a lot of things I did when I was younger. That was a chapter of me not being as good and responsible as I should have been. I should have been more careful.
You think it reflects poorly on you.
Yes.
Well, thank you for talking to me even though you feel that way.
Yeah, you wanted to talk about it.
If I got an abortion, do you think it would be negative on my character, too?
No, it’s not that. It’s just not a fun memory in my life. We were both very sullen. And I was so far away, so we couldn’t really delve into it and grow from it. I mean, I left two days after the procedure. It became something that happened.
Would you be supportive if Nick or I chose to get an abortion?
You know, what I’ve tried to do with you all is let you live your life, make mistakes, have accomplishments. I just try to be supportive. If you got pregnant and decided to have it, even if it were at a difficult point in life, I would you support you as much as needed. And vice versa, if you decided to have an abortion and if you wanted to talk about it, I would support you then, too. I hope I’ve been better since Mom passed. I will be there no matter which direction y’all choose.
I appreciate that.
Illustration by Andrea Smith.
The post Men Share Their Abortion Stories: “That Kid Would Be 33 Now” appeared first on Man Repeller.
Good News: The Best Resort Trend Costs Nothing
As we come to the close of resort season a.k.a. cruise season a.k.a. the fashion collections that show between spring and fall and land in stores around November/December, a standout trend has come to my attention. Not only does it bear all the requisite cool factors of something poised to grab the zeitgeist by its horns, it’s also something you can DIY yourself–probably without spending a cent.
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A post shared by Michalina Murawska (@michalinamurawska) on Jun 15, 2019 at 9:51am PDT
Behold: the stuff that style movements are made of courtesy of Bottega Veneta Resort 2020. It needs a fun term, doesn’t it? How about Ancoils? Get it? Ankle + coils? Just kidding that’s obviously terrible. Hmmm. Paper Bag Ankles?? I like that. (Alert the media!!!) The verbiage is already overdue as it’s already manifesting off the runway….
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If u r in Austin. And if u don’t want ure pants to drag the ground. Ok?
A post shared by Amy Smilovic (@amysmilovic) on Jun 17, 2019 at 6:31am PDT
Yes, per Tibi founder Amy Smilovic’s caption, Paper Bag Ankles are more than just a trend; they’re also a valuable solution to making too-long pants look intentional instead of sloppy, which is something my 5′ 4″ self is very keen to capitalize on. Here’s my first attempt, using a pair of puddle hems and a Repeller shoestring chock full of charm earrings:
I won’t make you guess how long it took me to whip up this outfit hack because the answer is two minutes and therefore too fun to sit on. You know what also looks cool? Using a silk scarf to procure the same effect, which we actually did with Sir Scarf-a-Lot during the Repeller shoot.
A classic case of “great minds think alike.” Or great ankles, I guess. So give it a shot! Grab the nearest piece of string or ribbon you have lying around and use them to cinch the bottom of your pants legs like the sweetest of presents. Paper Bag Ankles are about to be A THING and I’m so glad we’re getting ahead of it together. I’m also glad the hems of my too-long pants will be abdicating the role of New York City street sweeper–and chicly at that.
Feature Photos by Madeline Montoya, Repeller Product Photo by Leila Fakouri.
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Team MR on the Things That Make Us Feel Strangely Grown Up
Adulthood was about creative autonomy, I decided that first day, as sugar coursed through my body on my bus ride to school. It was about having the power to make my own choices, and opting not to make the lame ones. I would “grow up” by freeing myself from the tyranny of routine. Of milk. Of cereal. Of fruits and vegetables. Of doing what I was “supposed” to do without searching for something more fun I could do instead.
This was not sustainable. I think I got about a week into my “cookie dough and Coke” diet before my dad caught wind and shut down the operation. But I’d already settled on something important: If I was going to embark upon adulthood, I was going to make sure I retained the memory of what it felt like to not be an adult, and memorize the possibilities I saw for adulthood before life made me Boring.
This is all to say that when I caught my first glimpse of the “Grown-Ass Woman” Repeller bundle, and that glimpse brought me immense joy, I knew exactly why. At this point in life, I’ve reached a more measured approach to balancing responsibility and resisting dronehood. And the contents of the bundle — Sailor Tote, Repeller Flagpole and Sir Scarf-a-Lot — make occasionally embracing my more dutiful side sound fun! I mean, just look at them!
So in honor of growing up without growing bored, I’ve asked the Man Repeller team about the little things in life that make them feel they’ve got it together. I found their suggestions charmingly straightforward and intend to try them all as soon as possible. (Right after I finish this breakfast brownie.)
Elizabeth, Market Strategist
Le Creuset Enamel Cast Iron Pot
In my view, you become an adult the day you invest in cookware. (That also means ditching the assortment of random cheap stuff you cobbled together during college.) I bought this pot at age 26 after moving to a new apartment, and not only does it make cooking easier (this one has glorious, even heating all over), but it’s also so pretty that I display it on my stove even when I’m not using it. If you’re not ready to shell out for a Le Creuset, check out this also-cute cheaper option.
My grown woman icon: Any working mother
Haley, Deputy Editor
Stationery and Paper from Paper Source
The number of times I’ve ripped out a piece of notebook paper to make a homemade card is shameful. It’s true that I prefer homemade cards to store-bought ones, but my custom cards have historically sucked, which is why I felt so good buying a pack of 25 folded white cards and matching envelopes in a heavy matte white last winter. I love to doodle on the fronts and write long messages inside and not worry about whatever some Hallmark copywriter has in mind. It makes me feel grown up not because stationery is “so adult,” but because buying it in bulk required foresight and an understanding of who I am.
My grown woman icon: Ursula Le Guin
Dasha, Director of Product Development
Zalto Wine Glasses
These are just so elegant and such a tactile experience because of the hand-blown stem. Drinking wine still makes me feel so adult, but drinking it out of these glasses is another level of sophistication.
My grown woman icon: Alma Har’el
Hillary, Product Manager
Security Safe
A few years ago, I realized I had somehow acquired all of those really important documents your parents tend to be in charge of (social security card, etc.)… and then we had a fire in our building! Luckily, my apartment was fine, but I immediately bought two things: renters insurance and a safe. The safe lives in a little nook in my closet and it houses all my important documents, including old family photos and even my baby blanket. Yeah, real adults fire-protect their childhood blankets!
My grown woman icon: Amy Poehler, always
Gyan, Managing Editor
Stasher Reusable Silicone Food Bag
I cut a bunch of single-use plastic out of my life last year, but my favorite swap was trading out Zip-lock bags and Saran wrap for these silicone food bags. I have them in every size and use them for myriad things, like packing snacks for picnics or storing half-used avocados in the fridge. They’re easy to clean and I get to feel a little virtuous every time I use them.
My grown woman icon: My former editor and current friend, Rachel Miller.
Jean, Operations Intern
A Mid-Century Bar Cart
Having a fully stocked bar cart in my apartment makes me feel like two of my favorite iconic adult tropes: the perfectly poised hostess and the savvy businessman. I get to live out my Mad Men fantasy by being Don and Betty at once! Need to talk about something serious? Let me pour you a bourbon. Just stopping by? Allow me to whip up a minty mojito. I bought this cart on a whim, but once it was fully stocked, it made my home feel so much more welcoming.
My grown woman icon: Jameela Jamil
Emily, Visual Manager
2 Piece Wick Trimmer and Candle Snuffer Set
According to Google (and my mom, who has always reminded me to trim my candle wicks over the years), it is important to trim your candle wicks to help control the amount of “fuel” or wax that is present—therefore less soot is created while the candle is burning. This also helps your candles last longer. Have you tried shoving scissors into a narrow candle jar to trim the wick? It’s incredibly annoying! A wick trimmer makes it a cinch.
My grown woman icon: Lizzo
Andrea, Director of Client Services & Production
Stick-on Anywhere Portable Little Light
I have a small closet that I share with my boyfriend, which means every last inch of it is precious real estate. These lights make it much easier to see deep into the back and sides of the closet, which would otherwise be a visual dead zone. They’re motion-activated and turn on when I open the doors (feels fancy), and the battery is rechargeable!
My grown woman icon: My mama
Patty, Head of Partnerships
Ellevest Investment Portfolio
The best way for me to save is to set it and forget it, and Ellevest is designed to do that with manageable targets against specific life goals. Highly recommend. Also found this book very simple and helpful!
My grown woman icon: Ava DuVernay
Madeline, Designer
Portable Bento Box
As a new college grad fresh on the scene, bringing my lunch to work every day is a new and money-saving enterprise, but rarely a pretty-looking setup. This adorable bento box kit has lots of room for all my lunching needs and looks cute while doing its thing, which makes me feel m a t u r e. It also easily fits into a commuter bag, which makes toting it around very low stress.
My grown woman icon: My mom, who gave me a fully stocked emergency bag that can fit in any purse.
Amalie, Social Medium (still)
Zojirushi Thermos and Reusable Mug
This reusable mug makes me feel like a grown-ass woman and a responsible citizen of the world. I’ve reached the point where the waste of paper cups and plastic lids from my morning coffee habit feels irresponsible. Cutting down my waste/single-use plastic in this small way has been important to me, and the beautiful thing about this reusable mug (whose praises I will sing until I’m hoarse), is that your liquids will stay hot or cold forever. I’ve woken up to scalding hot coffee left over from a previous day, to cubes of ice still intact after 28 hours. It is the most incredible mug.
My grown woman icon: Terry Gross
What simple little things make you feel like an adult?
Collage by Madeline Montoya.
The post Team MR on the Things That Make Us Feel Strangely Grown Up appeared first on Man Repeller.
June 26, 2019
7 Perfect Summer Pants for People Who Hate Shorts
During an editorial meeting a couple of weeks ago—right around the time spring temperatures in New York fluttered away and chafing season commenced—our lovely Social Media Manager Amalie announced her dislike of shorts and consequent affection for what she calls “summer pants.” As someone known to sport gingham diapers, I was initially perplexed. But her reasoning made sense: shorts are revealing by design (which can be tiring) and come replete with chores (like shaving or moisturizing, if you do those). Sometimes, you’re just not in the mood.
This is where summer pants come in. As Amalie describes them, summer pants are “non-clingy, breezy, tissue-thin, and most importantly, ankle-length.” And she was on the hunt for more. I love problem solving for my coworkers’ (actually, really everybody’s) dressing woes—and this one sounded fun. You don’t have to wear shorts if it’s hot out; you don’t even have to substitute those shorts for a dress, if you don’t want to. But cut and material are important if you want to stay cool.
Below are seven summer pants options I found for Amalie. I usually cap things off around five looks for stories like this, but that’s how saturated the market is with awesome summer pant styles. Let your hems hang low!
1. Barely-There Pajama Trouser
“How Elizabeth Tamkin managed to get me in this and make me feel like 2 million bucks” is the conceit of this shoot. In this case, it was this strapless swimsuit. How does she do it?! As for the pants, they were so light I felt blissfully naked from the waist down.Dodo Bar Or pants, Solid & Striped swimsuit, Marni flatform sandals, Holiday The Label sunglasses, Lucy Folk sunglass chainThese 100% cotton trousers might as well be pajama bottoms, but thanks to the fun 70s print, they exude more sartorial effort than a simple tuck-and-roll out of bed. It’s very fun to dress them thematically with flatforms and a strapless top (this one’s actually a one-piece ruched swimsuit by Solid & Striped). Groovy.
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Thank god we found this Margarita Man truck to shoot in front of. I’ve never felt more at home wearing seersucker pants.Marks & Spencer pants, Kordal knit T-shirt, MR by Man Repeller sandals, Repeller Green Sailor bag, Crap Eyewear sunglasses, Roxanne Assoulin necklacesWhen summer pants come to mind, I immediately think of when I went to golf camp in middle school and was forced to wear pants. Why did I go to golf camp as a non-golfer? That’s another story. I wore a really cute pair of seersucker ones similar to these though. This pair from Marks & Spencer is tan seersucker instead of the common green, blue, or pink, and I love that they appear sort of like a tan trouser from far away. On Amalie, I paired them with a lightweight short sleeve knit for modesty, and a Repeller bag and red slide sandals for pops of color.
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3. Patterned Light-Weight Dressy Pants
Seeing these linen pants on the rack made me nervy, but once they were zipped and buckled they looked like a dream. I felt cool. I felt sexy. I held an imaginary salty pretzel aloft.Zimmermann pants, Entireworld mock neck sweater tank, Adidas sneakers, Baggu bag, Repeller headbandThese Zimmermann pants are so lightweight that Amalie felt like she was butt naked. Cool, right? I am a big fan of a patterned linen pant because a) linen pants can sometimes be a bit see-through due to their lightweight nature and a pattern combats this and b) they are sooo breathable! I paired these little kick flairs with an easy commuter sneaker and mock neck tank.
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Ankle scarves and kitten mule thongs are not something I ever believed I’d try in tandem, but as always, Eliz the Wiz made it work.Amazon pants, Staud top via MATCHESFASHION.com, Repeller Sir-Scarf-a-Lot napkin scarves around ankles, Repeller Umbrella clutch, Reformation flip flop kitten heelsMan, styling this one was so freaking fun. I’ve been wanting to tie scarves around the ankles of pants ever since I did it on a whim when assisting on the Repeller Summer 19 photoshoot back in May. I love the Sir-Scarf-A-Lot doubled up on both of Amalie’s ankles. Paired with dainty kitten heel flip-flops, I’ve created what I call a ~summer hoof~. The pants are an incredibly light, breathable linen and !bonus! they have an elastic-waist in the back which comes in handy pretty much always.
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This was probably my favorite of the pants. I felt like I was wearing a split mermaid tail. Can u hear my SIREN SONG???Missoni pants, Tombolo Hawaiian shirt, Grant Blvd bandeau, By Far heeled sandalsThe most magical of the loot, these Missoni Rainbow Fish pants styled themselves. Then I went all-the-damn-way by pairing them with a cropped terry top and Hawaiian shirt. These pants can be found in a range of hues and patterns including zig zags and solid colors. I also found you some more affordable similar options here and here.
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6. Fun Pants With Matching Tops
This set is so incredibly cool and made me feel like a walking enigma. Truly, a puzzle. Unpuzzle me. *winks aggressively*Tyler McGillivary pants and top, TKEES flip flops, Roxanne Assoulin necklace, Jane Carr scarfI live for a summer set, and this wave button matching top and pants is the perfect answer to looking thoughtful and put together during hot days. The fabric is so light I could imagine this being worn to an outdoor brunch (you’ll match your mimosa!) or an evening BBQ. Paired with flip flops and a scarf in her hair, Amalie looks so freaking kewl.
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A one-spaghetti-strap swimsuit is what I’m wearing here. ONE! How I maneuvered it onto my body and how it looked so cool in combination with these linen joggers is a mystery, but in a fun, Murder She Wrote kind of way.Amazon pants, Oséree lurex swimsuit, Adidas slide sandals, Poms sunglasses, Chetna Singh scarfFirst of all, these $36.99 pants are 100% cotton. Second, they have pockets. Third, they are drawstring with an elastic waist in the back, meaning they are more comfortable than any denim cutoff you will ever encounter. I put Amalie in a lurex swimsuit, Adidas slides and a headscarf for a Cool Gal on the Beach vibe. Did I succeed or did I succeed?
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Do you have any favorite summer pants? Any other summer dressing woes? I’m here to chat! Meet me in the comments and let’s tackle the season of sweat together.
Photos by Madeline Montoya.
The post 7 Perfect Summer Pants for People Who Hate Shorts appeared first on Man Repeller.
Introducing ‘Outfit Anatomy’: Comprehensive Style Breakdowns
Welcome to Outfit Anatomy, a new series on Man Repeller that aims to break down what we wear by answering questions like: How much did that cost? Where did you find that? Why did you buy it in the first place? Leandra is up first, breaking down the relatively simple outfit she wore to dinner after work one day in late May.
The jacket is Chanel; it’s from the cruise 2000 collection and the interior label says “Bergdorf Goodman.” I bought it in March from The Real Real while I was in Paris for fashion week for $395 plus an additional 20% off using the code “REAL,” which seems like a campaign the site is always running. For whatever reason, I tend to find that spending time in France burns a hole in my pocket. I’m not sure if this is because I’m far away from my wardrobe and therefore infrequently distracted by any bells and whistles that aren’t truly my style, or because I get insecure while I’m there and resort to using fashion as armor to hide the self-doubt lurking between my limbs. My grandmother has, or had, the same jacket, which she gave to my mom, and which I stained rather violently when I borrowed it. Harling has it, too. Carrie Bradshaw wore it on an episode of Sex and the City. I can remember almost all of the lightweight, collarless cropped jackets from Chanel’s cruise 2000 collection and you can actually find a bunch of them loitering innocuously on platforms like eBay and Tradesy and TRR and 1stDibs. I prefer how it looks when it’s worn a few sizes too big. The one I bought is a size 44, the one my grandma had was a 40.
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The t-shirt is from the first collection that Nikki Kule launched under her most recent brand, Kule. It dates back to 2015. The first time I wore it was the night before a cervix exam that I hoped would provide some intel regarding my not getting pregnant. I was having drinks with my team at a Mexican place called Rosie’s. We were seven people back then. I wore it with denim cut-offs, a utility jacket, and closed-toe slingbacks. At that time, it retailed for $80 and I’m still wearing it pretty regularly (it’s the right combination of boxy but shrunken and the crew neck is high enough to peek out from under a sweater, but wide enough not to make me feel like I’m wearing a mock neck) so I’d say it was well worth it.
The shorts are Dries van Noten—another Paris purchase. I bought them in February 2016 from the store in St. Germain, an interior design marvel that is heartening in the way standing inside of the architectural manifestation of the guts of a man who genuinely admires the female form can be. I was there with Amelia for fashion week and know I was depressed because I wrote this story (I’m pretty sure I love Paris). I was three months further away from a pregnancy loss, and didn’t know when, or if, I’d have kids. The shorts were 175 euros, which I remember because I’d seen them at Barney’s for like, $325. To be honest, I’m not even sure why I bought them. I’m a pretty impulsive shopper, have convinced myself that I hate “boring clothes,” and there was nothing particularly exhilarating about a pair of navy shorts. I liked how they fit—sort of loose and relaxed, hanging from my hips, but still tailored enough to wear more formally. And now that I think about it, most of what not just remains in my closet, but gets worn the most frequently, falls into the category of “boring to buy.”
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The bag is Proenza Schouler. I got it in 2012 from the Intermix flagship on Madison Avenue. It was one of those summer afternoons where the city seems vacant and I was walking by with my mom. We went in, and I saw the clutch on a sale table. I’d had my eye on the full-size version, but never could pull the trigger (it retailed for $1,695). The clutch was on sale for $595 with an additional 40% off at checkout. (I just found it on The Real Real for $110, btw.) I bought it without thinking twice, with my debit card—the first I opened in my own name about seven months earlier.
Man Repeller was still basically embryonic and I was new to maintaining my own cash-money, all of which was disposable because I still lived at home. I think I spent, like, five years effectively buying anything I could afford not because I needed or even genuinely wanted the thing, but because I subconsciously had to keep proving to myself, or reminding myself, that I was free to make my own financial decisions. I had power. Power! Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure it’s only in the last two years that I’ve realized I don’t have to, or need to, or even want to, have everything that I like. That was a potent revelation and realization, too.
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Finally! The shoes. They’re from my own collection, a licensing partnership that has technically ended. I have dabbled in so many creative projects so eagerly, just throwing and throwing to see what will stick and probably giving up or calling it quits too early on so many of them, but I am pretty sure that if I am ever to attempt shoe design again, I have to do it on my own terms. No shade! The partner was great, and helped see my vision through fairly crisply, but there is so much more to launching a brand than just amenable design. Who knew? Anyway, I didn’t pay actual money for them because as part of the deal, I got all my own shoes for $$free$$ but the sweat that went into that silver cork heel, let me tell you—it’s true when they say nothing in life comes free. You can buy them if you like them (but only in the beige raffia) from Shopbop for $275. I really love these too.
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In sum: Even though the oldest member of this outfit, the Chanel jacket, is 19, it’s technically one of the youngest in the shell of my closet. The Proenza Schouler clutch has lived the longest, coming in at seven years. Second to it is the Kule T-shirt, then the shorts, then the jacket, then the shoes. The total outfit cost me about $950. I kept the t-shirt because it’s reliable, I wear it almost weekly. I kept the shorts because they’re insipid enough to balance out my temerities and the bag because of what it represents. It’s too soon to explain why the jacket and shoes are still around—they’re just kids, it’s still new, our anatomies are just getting acquainted.
Outfit Anatomy Identity by Madeline Montoya.
The post Introducing ‘Outfit Anatomy’: Comprehensive Style Breakdowns appeared first on Man Repeller.
How to Make the Most of Summer Without Feeling the *Pressure*
For me, summer isn’t just ripe with high hopes, it’s ripe with stress—the stress to make sure that this summer is the best, the one that finally lives up to the expectations set by teen movies and doesn’t end with a chorus of if onlys. And every year, but especially this year, I rely on summer to be the release of my emotional pressure valve. It’s always easier to find the light when the sun stays up past 8 p.m.
My obsession with willing the perfect summer into existence has manifested in a number of ways. I’ve road-tripped to music festivals in beat-up vans, sat around bonfires on the beach, and drunk so much rosé I can no longer stand the stuff. But still, at the close of every season, I always feel like it wasn’t enough. Even now, just a few days in, it already feels like this summer is slipping through my fingers.
I always expected that as I got older, wiser, and less interested in staying up past 2 a.m, my summer stress would loosen its hold on me. But what I’m beginning to realize is that growing up doesn’t have to mean growing out of summer, it just means reassessing what it means to truly make the most of my favorite months. There are so many ways to enjoy the literal and metaphorical fruits of summer that “making the most of it” can actually be quite low-key and delightful—it simply requires a mindset shift. So below I’ve compiled a short list of things to do this summer that may never feature in a coming-of-age blockbuster, but just might ease the burden of summer scaries.
Buy and devour—not simply eat—a mango.
Go to the grocery store. Stand in front of a mound of mangos. Pick them up one by one and hold them in your hands like they are weighty golden goose eggs. Hold one close enough to your face to take a whiff and remember that one of the best things about summer is the fruit it brings—a moment of mango mindfulness. Take the best one home and slice the cheeks yourself, remembering the entire time that you can’t have this experience in the winter.
Get up early.
Staying up late is the easiest way to become both tired and wired. Thankfully, the extra daylight hours that summer brings are just as magical in the morning. Taking a walk before your favorite coffee shop even opens still counts as making the most of summer days, it just isn’t also hangover-inducing.
Then, have a Summer Night In.
During winter, I’m more than happy to spend a Friday or Saturday night at home watching a movie, because I assume everyone else is doing the same. But when the weather’s warm, I’m overcome with the feeling that everyone else is having all-caps FUN all the time, while I’m letting my own summer waste away every time I stay in. Since I know that’s deeply irrational (and part of why a lot of people find the summertime incredibly isolating and sad), I’m proposing more guilt-free nights in. Swap The Holiday for Blue Crush and your popcorn for kettle corn, open a window, and away you go—an ideal summer night.
Put your feet in the grass.
Unlike airplanes, parks are the perfect place to take your shoes off. Spread your toes and plant those bad boys in the nearest patch of green. I can’t explain the science of why—though I’m positive there would be some—but putting my bare feet on the earth just feels… grounding.
Eat your dinner al fresco.
If you go to a restaurant, wait for a table outside instead of settling for one hidden in a dark corner. Get a meal to-go and eat it in a park. Carry your dinner plate to your roof. Open a window in your dining room and sit as close to it as you can while you eat. There’s nothing more delightful, or summery, then eating with a breeze for company.
Enjoy an impromptu ice cream.
It’s not even July and I have already ticked this off my list, somersaulting myself into summer. The thing to remember about this tip is that the ice cream (or popsicle—either will do) cannot be planned. No, it needs to be a surprise. You might be walking through a park, or leaving work, or en route to meet your friend for coffee—when you see a van/street vendor/bodega and decide, spur of the moment, to get a frozen treat because it’s summer and there’s literally no reason not to.
And remember that, sometimes, doing something once is enough.
I’m not about to do away completely with my summer expectations, because despite the pressure, they encourage me to have fun. But this year, I’m going to remind myself that doing something once still counts as doing it. I don’t have to go to the beach every weekend, have an Aperol spritz every night, or watch the sunset on a rooftop every Friday to have the summer 2019 of my dreams. If I want to do all those things, which I do, I can make peace with doing them when the opportunities arise. Removing the expectation that peak summer activities need to be the norm allows me to redefine what it means to make the most of summer—which is exactly what I need.
Do you have any other tactics for avoiding summer scaries? If so, please share your suggestions!
Photo by Edith Young.
The post How to Make the Most of Summer Without Feeling the *Pressure* appeared first on Man Repeller.
June 25, 2019
Why Do I Suddenly Care So Much About Men’s Fashion Week?
Ludovic de Saint Sernin Spring ’20A
recent hack I have uncovered, if you can even call it a hack, is shopping the men’s section of resale sites. I was reminded that I have been doing this while riding home from an airport on Sunday night, scrolling through the men’s shows, which, this season, have lit me up like a candelabra on Hannukah. They just wrapped after a four-city tour through London, Florence, Milan, and Paris. (And lest we forget yesterday’s jaunt to Provence.) On the car ride home, it was a neon pink shorts set by a brand I have never heard of—Ludovic de Saint Sernin—that lifted me a little higher out of my seat. I recalled that I had recently acquired a pair of lilac purple swim shorts of a similar ilk. If I could find a matching lilac shirt, I could add a bra, or bathing suit top, and rebuild the look at home.
I could do this with nearly every look from Officine Generale (which, granted, offered a number of womenswear looks, too), and Hedi Slimane’s Celine for men. Those blazers, and flare leg jeans, the button downs, and hats—I could wear it all.
Left: Officine Generale Spring ’20, Right: Celine Spring ’20There was a joyous youthfulness about Lanvin. It reminded me of Jacquemus in its spirit. It encompassed the carefree nature of a long, lazy summer day in Europe. I could almost taste the humidity mixed with a meek espresso shot. I thought of day trips to the beach and poolside pasta salad overlooking a body of water sprinkled by copious floaties. That kind of innocent, but wholesome fun—you know? Hermès served a helping of this lightheartedness, too. Then I saw it in the corsages pinned into blazers at Loewe and the use of color, illuminating—evoking the feeling of a window being lifted open at both the aforementioned and Sies Marjan.
Left: Lanvin Spring ’20, Right: Sies Marjan Spring ’20The optimistic energy of these collections could be attributed to the choice season—Spring/Summer—and the fact that it is spring/summer right now. (Showing clothes that are applicable for the season in which you’re living? Genius!) Warm weather and sunshine is like a mindset reframer that makes everything look rosier, but that’s just one piece of it.
Louis Vuitton Spring ’20When Kim Jones took the lead at Dior Men and Virgil Abloh was appointed designer for Louis Vuitton’s mens label, there was a lot of chatter surrounding the role of mens fashion in the larger discourse—the way it was creating a weightier value proposition, becoming as important to watch as women’s collections had been. I knew all of this was happening—that new labels had been sprouting long before Jones and Ablohs’ respective appointments, who were building remarkable cult followings, but I did not anticipate that I would personally care this much—that I would prioritize analyzing a mens show, look, or garment over a woman’s. And yet.
But what does it matter who the show, or the look, or the garment is intended for? What’s the difference? Clothes are, effectively, a mere vehicle of expression and so long as the thinker has profound thoughts to let spill, the vehicle is irrelevant. What’s happening here, particularly in the way of mens fashion, is reflective in a tip-of-the-iceberg kind of way of a greater brush up against the broad cultural boundaries that have heretofore defined gender. Because, really, what is the difference?
Lately, there have been plenty of men’s looks on women’s runways and ditto that women’s looks on men’s runways. Creative directors of mens collections, like Raf Simons, or Alessandro Michele of Gucci, and recently, Lucas Ossendrijver of Lanvin and perhaps most famously, Hedi Slimane of Dior Homme, have taken over women’s houses to varying degrees of unique success. I’ve got to assume this is related to how they approach storytelling through design. The way in which the framework is more fluid. Dries van Noten has been designing womenswear for as long as he has produced menswear (and for what it’s worth, along with Kim Jones of Dior Men and Emily Adams Bode of Bode, showed ballet slippers for men on his runway this season).
Bode Spring ’20Two of the houses earning the most credibility—winning CFDA awards (Bode) and the hearts of fashion fans and gatekeepers (Ami)—touted themselves as unisex from out of the gates. As our relationships with gender begin to settle more firmly into the era of fluidity, the question of what is made for who becomes ever less relevant. It just does.
And I know we’re speaking within the terms of a distinct aesthetic prototype: waifish young men—boys, really —effeminate by most accounts. It’s not the first shape that comes to my mind when you think “relatable,” and is, aspirationally speaking, rather impossible and irresponsible but there is something to be said, unilaterally speaking, of recognizing that these clothes are not designed to target me. It makes the lust more proactive, a little less charged. Like, it doesn’t matter who the clothes are intended for, whether they’re intended for anyone at all, because I’m making them about me. For me. The most self-righteous parts of me want to exclaim that this represents a proclamation that I am not a cog in a wheel, responding to a consumerist tactic set forward by the framework of our larger industry. But the truth is, really, I’m just connecting, 1:1, with a pair of pink shorts.
Photos via Vogue Runway.
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