Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 87

(2/4) “There was an eighty percent chance of miscarriage. I...

(2/4) “There was an eighty percent chance of miscarriage.  I walked around every day not knowing if my daughter was still alive.  Every two weeks I went to the doctor to check for a heartbeat.  I always asked them to face the ultrasound screen away from me. I couldn’t bear to look.  At week twenty-two my placenta began to fail.  I was hospitalized at week thirty.  The blood flow through the umbilical cord had been reversed.  The delivery took three days.  Her heartbeat was dropping.  The chance of stillbirth was so high.  During the emergency C-section, there were thirty people in the room.  My husband said that all of them had an ‘oh fuck’ look on their face.  The last thing I remember is the gas mask being put over my mouth.  Then I woke up asking for milkshakes.  They wheeled my entire bed into the NICU to meet my daughter.  She’d had oxygen deprivation.  Her heart was halfway beating.  I was still paralyzed so I couldn’t even sit up to look at her.  The nurse took my phone, held it over my daughter, and turned it on ‘selfie mode.’  This is what she looked like when I saw her for the first time.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

(¼) “At ten weeks the blood test came back with markers...

(¼) “At ten weeks the blood test came back with markers for Down Syndrome.  Then the next week we found out there were further complications.  There was a grieving process for both of us. We had to realize that things were going to be different.  I think it was harder for my husband, even though he didn’t cry as much as me.  Sometimes it’s not as easy for men to show emotion.  Women tend to band together.  I joined so many mom groups.  I talked through everything.  My husband is a bit of a jock, so I kept sending him videos of Down Syndrome athletes.  I wanted him to get excited about the possibilities.  We drove to the beach one weekend shortly after the diagnosis, and the entire ride we talked about the future.  We talked about how much of our daughter is going to be like any other child. And how we can still be a family.  We can still go to Disney World.  We can still have adventures.  When we arrived at the rental house, I put one of the ultrasound pictures on the fridge. That evening we were sitting on the beach, about to go back inside, when this little girl with Down Syndrome came walking up to us.  She was wearing a Minnie Mouse bathing suit. She didn’t say a word. She just stood there, smiling at us.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“We’re from the small island country of Vanuatu. I don’t know...

“We’re from the small island country of Vanuatu.  I don’t know anything about sports, but nobody else wanted to coach the team.  So I volunteered. Special Olympics gave me a list of sports and I chose the long jump.  But two of my athletes couldn’t jump.  So we moved to the javelin throw.  But that was too hard to throw, so now we’re competing in the shot put competition.  When I first met Monick, she’d never really left her house before.   She couldn’t look me in the eye.  And she was afraid of the shot put.  She’d drop it on the ground every time I handed it to her.  She’d hide her hands behind her back.   But I invited her whole family out to train with us.  Everyone participated.  And that gave her confidence.  On days we weren’t training, her mother gave her coconuts and rocks to throw.  When it was time to compete, nobody knew if she’d be able to get on the plane.  She was so scared.  She was crying and clinging to me the entire flight. Once we arrived, we had to drive straight to the stadium for qualifications.  Everything was so new for her.  She’d never left her island before.  The stadium was so big and she had to go out on the field all by herself.  On her first throw she forgot everything she learned.  She dropped the shot put immediately and the referee raised a red flag for disqualification.  But then she looked back at us.  She calmed down.  She remembered being back on the island with all her family.  And she threw it so far on the second throw.  When the white flag was raised, we all went crazy.  And she won the silver medal.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“I’m here to support my older brother. You’d never know he has...

“I’m here to support my older brother.  You’d never know he has special needs by looking at him.  But what you can learn in one hour, it might take him three or four years.  Even though I’m younger, he’s always looked up to me.  He writes on my Facebook wall all the time.  He’s so proud of my accomplishments.  On this trip he’s been sleeping in the bed next to me, but he still texts me that he loves me so much.  My mom says he was so happy when I was born. He saw me as an example.  Anything that I did, he wanted to do.  He learned to feed himself after seeing me eat.  He stopped using diapers once I did.  It’s getting harder for him to copy me now that we’re adults, but the desire is still there.  He wants to drive like me.  He wants a girlfriend like me.  He wanted a job at the grocery store so badly that he cried during the interview.  He wants a family.  And a house.  And a car.  And I want him to get there too.  But I’m not sure he realizes how difficult those things will be.  There’s another level he has to get past.  Cooking is still difficult.  And washing clothes.  And counting money.  We’re just not there yet.  So I have to be ready for him to live with me for the rest of my life.  And I have to hope that my future family will be OK with that.  My brother wants to be independent so badly.  And all of us want him to get there.  But if he doesn’t, I’m here.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“I first met him when he was thirteen years old. He lives in...

“I first met him when he was thirteen years old.  He lives in one of the most remote regions of Brunei.  You can only get there by river.  There’s no running water, no electricity, no utilities.  Certainly no special education facilities.  He came alone to our city looking for assistance.  When I first met him, his trousers were completely torn.  He was so small for his age.  I’m a special education teacher, so I said to myself: ‘I’m going to help this boy.’  He lived with me for four years.  It was the only way he could get training.  I coached him on the Special Olympics soccer team.  I tried to give him structure.  I told him: take a bath every day, go to sleep early, always go to school.  The advice had to be continuous because he forgets very easily.  But I did everything for him.  He became like my son.  But he never called me ‘father.’  Always ‘teacher.’  And I never forced him to stay.  He’d leave home for a few nights at a time, but he’d always come back.  I was really hoping he’d live with me until he got a job.  It’s dangerous for him to be on his own because he needs guidance.  His family has many bad habits.  But last October he turned eighteen, and he chose to go home.  He reaches out to me sometimes when his family runs out of food.  Or when he needs money.  He knows that I can never say ‘no.’  At first it was very difficult.  I worried nonstop.  I’d always ask his friends: ‘Where is Azril now?’  But I have to accept I’ve done all I can.  He has become an adult.  When we return from the games, I think it’s time for me to let go.”            
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“On a unified team, each athlete is allowed a partner to support...

“On a unified team, each athlete is allowed a partner to support them on the court. We make sure every athlete gets a chance to participate and score.  We control the tempo.  Since basketball games can be chaotic, it can be helpful for athletes to have a teammate who can guide them and keep them calm.  Unified sports are wonderful because they allow us to play together as brothers.  Giles always used to watch us playing at the local club growing up.  He wanted to join us but the level was too high for him.  Giles can have problems reaching certain goals.  So many times we have to tell him that his goals are not possible.  It’s frustrating for all of us.  But this time we got to say: ‘Yes Giles, it is possible.’  Every Friday we get in our car together, drive to the river, listen to our favorite songs, and then head to our game.  It’s our favorite day of the week.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“I have twenty superheroes that I keep in a folder on my phone...

“I have twenty superheroes that I keep in a folder on my phone and I take it out to look at them, and I pretend that I am the leader of an entire superhero team.  The whole team is counting on me to get as strong as possible because I am the muscle of the team.  Being the biggest is like a way to take charge.  It doesn’t even matter if I have super powers because I can use my own true strength, and the barbell is like a type of weapon.  It’s important as a leader to always listen to your team.  Our whole team decided together that friendship is more important than winning.  Nobody will be mad at me if I lose.  They don’t care if I bring home a medal.  My family and my friends and Coach John and everyone in the Philippines will be proud of me even just for lifting weights.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“We are the first female athletes from Saudi Arabia. It makes...

“We are the first female athletes from Saudi Arabia.  It makes us feel wow.  It’s one of the nicest moments in our life.  I have to be happy and positive because I am the basketball team captain.  Whenever we make a shot, I clap.  I also clap if we miss it.  And I clap if the other team makes it.  If somebody is sad I tell them don’t be upset my sweet heart.  And then I rub their shoulder.  This is my teammate Dahwia, I am her friend and she is my friend.  I love her so much.  She loves food and we dance together.  We blow each other kisses during the game.  Yesterday we won.  But it doesn’t matter if we lose because at the end we always dance.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“I worked on Wall Street for five years. I enjoyed the work,...

“I worked on Wall Street for five years.  I enjoyed the work, but always had the feeling I could do something more meaningful.  So I moved back to London and tried to set up a theater company.  I wanted to find a way to help marginalized people tell their stories.  But I didn’t get very far.  Because after six months of planning, I got a call from an old classmate.  I hadn’t spoken to him in sixteen years.  He told me that his company had won a bid to produce the Special Olympics opening ceremony.  His vision was to allow people with intellectual disabilities to design the ceremony themselves.  And he asked me to be involved.  It was a dream job.  I went to work immediately.  We reached out to special education centers around the UAE.  We asked the teachers for advice.  We led workshops with the students, asking them: ‘What excites you?’, ‘What are your challenges?’ , ‘What would you like to tell the world?’  Then we took those ideas to professional choreographers, and refined them into a performance.  We brought the results back to the students, and asked: ‘Is this your vision?  What would you change?’  When the students finally recognized the work as their own, we knew our job was finished.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“For me I would describe myself as Asperger’s, meaning not...

“For me I would describe myself as Asperger’s, meaning not understanding of what’s happening around you and all that stuff.  It can be hard to tell when people are being happy or being serious.  You have to be very careful or they might get upset.  It can make me anxious.  I’m lucky because I’m good at arts and paintings so I found an art studio for special needs people called Mawaheb.  Our teachers and parents push us sometimes, but that’s just because they want us to become adults inside ourselves.  I learned to ride the metro.  It takes a lot of time to learn because you are scared of getting lost but my brothers taught me.  When I went to England to study painting I flew on an airplane by myself.  Actually I was scared at first but I got my boarding pass and followed the signs to where my boarding pass said to go.  Now I’m even working as a waiter in a hotel.  It’s very hard and sometimes I get nervous but I’ve never had an accident before.  Tonight I’m doing a poem for the opening ceremony about being the same as everyone else.  It’s going to be live on the TV.  I’m excited but also a little nervous to be honest.  I’m going to pretend like the stadium is empty except for all my friends that I love.  My parents are very proud of me.  They said: ‘Look at Nazeer.  Our shy boy is no longer shy.’”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)