Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 86

“There was a small river near our village, and my father taught...

“There was a small river near our village, and my father taught me to swim while we bathed.  Before long I was sneaking to the river after school.  I’d swim for hours every day.  My father would physically pull me out of the water at dinnertime.  But my village was very traditional and conservative.  Adult women weren’t allowed to swim.  So I had to quit when I turned fifteen.  I didn’t begin again until my twenties.  By that time I’d moved to the city, and there was no female instructor at our public pool.  So I volunteered.  During my lessons, I kept noticing an autistic boy who would stand along the edge and watch.  Nobody wanted to teach him.  The male coaches were afraid of being bitten and scratched.  But I could tell that he was so curious, so I began to play with him.  I splashed him.  Slowly I touched him.  I’d hold his leg and pull him through the water, teaching him how to breathe in and breathe out.  He’d climb on my back and hold my neck while I did the strokes.  He did bite me.  And hit me.  And sometimes he’d squeeze my neck too hard.  But it was never malicious.  In his mind he thought he was doing the right thing.  It took a long time, but slowly he learned how to swim.  Now he comes running to me whenever he sees me.  That experience gave me a weakness for kids with disabilities.  I’ve taught over two hundred so far.  There is no government support.  Nobody comes to see these children.  So I go to the villages and seek them out.  I teach them to swim in ponds and rivers.  When they feel happy, I feel happy. Recently I’ve started my own academy, just for them.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“My parents were shot when I was ten years old. My mother was a...

“My parents were shot when I was ten years old.  My mother was a lawyer and my dad was an engineer.  They’d been working in South Africa, and they resisted a robbery attempt.  At least that’s what my grandfather told me.  I thought everyone was fooling me until their bodies came home to Zimbabwe.  Thankfully my aunt and uncle raised me and I kept going.  But I was never able to graduate from school.  I have dyslexia.  I’m not good at reading or writing.  The teachers couldn’t understand my problem, and I was expected to keep up with the rest of the class.  Other students would laugh at me.  And I just couldn’t do it.  Now I feel lost.  I keep to myself.  I have nothing to do and I’m just sitting on my talent.  I have a mechanical mind.  I can understand any machine.  But no engineering program will consider you unless you’re good with books.  And there are no facilities for dyslexia in our country.  I see dyslexic people from other countries who have achieved their dreams.  And it’s painful to see.  Because there is no path for me.  I’m thankful for Special Olympics.  They keep me from being idle, but I can’t spend all day on a golf course.  I need a job.  A few years ago I discovered my father’s diary.  There was a section where he wrote a page about each of his children.  He wrote that I was the smart one.  I was the one who could fix anything.  I was the future engineer.”  
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

(2/2) “Her history came out slowly once she learned to talk....

(2/2)  “Her history came out slowly once she learned to talk.  She’d been abused in every possible way.  She’d never had a Christmas.  She’d never been to school.  She’d never even slept in a dry bed.  All she’d ever known was deprivation.  But once we got her, we left that all in the past.  We said: ‘This is what we have now.  Let’s start here.’  Her life has been so full since we got her.  It hasn’t been easy.  She was diagnosed with Autism.  She needs lots of attention.  Puberty was tough.  My husband passed away so I had to do it alone.  School was a herculean effort.  Colors, numbers, and shapes were nearly impossible.  And we still can’t tell time or do math.  But she is a master of everything physical.  And we did it all.  She took ten years of dancing lessons.  She played on a travel soccer team.  She’s an amazing artist.  We’re here this week to compete in powerlifting.  Now the one last thing I want for her is to get a job.  To earn a living.  To come home tired from a good day’s work and say: ‘Mom, I can take you for dinner tonight.’  It’s not going to be easy, but that’s how I’d love the story to end.  If I had known twenty years ago how difficult it was going to be, would I have made the decision?  There’s no way of knowing.  And there’s no way of summing up the experience.  Because it’s not an experience.  It’s my child.”  
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

(½) “In those days there was a blue book in the library...

(½) “In those days there was a blue book in the library with all the faces of children who needed homes.  She was eight years old.  Her foster parents should have been thrown in jail.  No immunization records.  She’d never been to school.  No language skills.  She couldn’t even describe the abuse she’d been through.  But she was a little ball of fire.  Very hyperactive and very cute.  All we saw was this little kid who had nobody.  And we’re looking at her thinking: ‘What’s going to happen if we walk away?’  We had no clue how difficult it was going to be.  You never do.  But there was no time to be scared.  If you’re getting a child with no home and nobody, you’ve got to get over ‘scared.’  You have to pray. You need to have the heart for it.  Because there’s no way you’re going to give them back.  Those first few days I spent so much time with her in a rocking chair: back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.  I kept telling her: ‘This is what I do with my babies.  I rock you in a chair.’  
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“We come from Palestine, and both of these athletes live in...

“We come from Palestine, and both of these athletes live in refugee camps.  The camp has a special needs program provided by the Red Crescent, but that ends at the age of sixteen.  And there’s nowhere to go after that.  No programs.  No jobs.  So right now Special Olympics is the only thing keeping them off the streets.  When we are competing, there’s a sense of focus and determination.  There’s a feeling of representing Palestine.  There’s a feeling of being someone who has value and contributes to society.  But when we go back home, that’s all gone.  They’re seen as not having skills.  There’s no respect.  They’re basically ignored.  It’s like going between two extremes, and it can be hard for them to go home.  Last night Saeed heard us making arrangements for the flight home, and he tried to hide.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“This is the first time in my whole life that I got a gold medal...

“This is the first time in my whole life that I got a gold medal in the World Games.  I was very calm and controlled my emotions.  When I left home, my mom said to focus hard on my trainings and make Egypt proud of you.  Sometimes when I’m on my horse I pretend like my mom is right beside me and not all the way back in Cairo.  I want to thank her so much.  She does everything for me.  My dad is in heaven and I want him to know that I miss him and that I love him so much.  All the time I hear him saying ‘do a good job’ and ‘take care of yourself.’  I want to thank God for helping me win a gold medal.  I want to thank my brother Islam for calling me yesterday and saying: ‘I hope you win the gold medal.’  That helped so much.  I also want to thank my Coach Dahlia because she is a person that I love.  She is almost like my little sister.  Right now I feel like life is so beautiful.  I feel a smile all over my face.  I love everyone.  And I am feeling very much like everyone loves me because I’m beautiful.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“Papa left El Salvador eight years ago to come work in Dubai....

“Papa left El Salvador eight years ago to come work in Dubai.  It’s very difficult without him but I understand the reasons why he is gone.  He said he was very sorry but he needed to find a way for us to live.  He is an excellent worker.  I was so very sad in the beginning.  I missed his hugs so much and also the times he would sing to me.  I was crying almost every day.  But he calls me so much, and sometimes he sings to me on the phone, and every year he gets to come home for one whole month.  I was so excited when I found out that the Special Olympics are in the same country where my Dad works.  I feel so lucky.  He is with me all the time this week.  He gets to watch me do my gymnastics.  He gets to watch me do my jumps and hang on the bars.  He was so happy and clapping so much.  I am hugging him all the time.  And telling him how much I love him.  And he is always telling me that he is so proud of me.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“It was a problem with my memory. I couldn’t remember things....

“It was a problem with my memory.  I couldn’t remember things.  Everyone else my age was moving forward, and I kept staying behind.  My heart was very sore.  I loved school.  I wanted to be a doctor and a lawyer just like everyone else.  I kept asking God: ‘Why is this happening to me?’  I tried my best.  I even went to night school.  But eventually my teachers said they didn’t want to waste my time.  They sent me to a school to learn handwork.  That’s where I learned about Special Olympics.  I was an angry young man back then.  I could not accept my situation.  But one day I met Arnold Schwarzenegger when he came to South Africa for an event.  I told him my entire story, and he said: ‘Look here, I am the Terminator, but today I am your friend.  Listen to me.  You are not strong in academics, but that is just one thing.  It’s nothing to worry about.  You are a very strong man.  You can’t hate yourself for the rest of your life.  It is time for you to move on.’  From that moment I began to accept myself.  I now have everything in life except for academics.  I work hard.  I have a house.  I have a family.  I have a career as a soccer coach.  My son attends the same school where I work, and he’s very smart.  I make sure he does all his assignments.  When he struggles, I bring him to his teachers so they can lift him up.  I tell him: ‘Tumi, I never finished school.  But God is amazing.  He has made you strong where I am weak.’”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

“I tried to make friends as a child but it never worked out....

“I tried to make friends as a child but it never worked out.  Every day I’d get bullied.  My teachers were nice, but the only kids who would spend time with me were my cousins,  and they were in a higher class.  People would call me ‘idiot’ and ‘stupid.’  They’d push me over.  I tried to just stare at the floor and not look at people.  I felt like jumping out the window.  I didn’t want to eat.  I became so weak that my mom would feed me with her own hands.  I’d talk to the walls of my bedroom.  I’d talk to my paintings.  I had an imaginary friend named Amanda.  She was a fairy.  After school I’d close the curtains and sit on the floor and hug my bear and wait for Amanda to come.  She was very pretty.  She had a beautiful crown.  She’d make me laugh, and encourage me, and tell me not to be sad.  She’d say ‘good things will happen to you.’  Then one day when I was fourteen, I went to a swim meet with my mother.  I was scared of the pool so I just stood along the edge.  A woman walked up to me and asked if I was special.  Her name was Ronak.  She had a beautiful smile.  She gave me a hug.  I never thought anyone would ever hug me like she did.  It felt really good.  She looked at me in the eyes, grabbed my hands, and said: ‘Please, please, please join Special Olympics.  It will change your life.’  She gave me her phone number.  After that day, Amanda never came back.” (Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

(¾) “My maternity leave was spent bouncing between...

(¾) “My maternity leave was spent bouncing between hospitals, therapists, and the insurance company.  I still talk to a doctor every single day of every single week.  My daughter has had five surgeries already, two on her heart.  I have to fight so much.  It took a month of phone calls with the insurance company just to get her a single shot that she needs to stay alive.  I hear other parents say it’s going too quickly.  But it’s not for me.  We live in a different world.  My kid doesn’t babble.  Doesn’t eat food.  Doesn’t crawl.  My husband is lucky because he has no idea what the milestones are supposed to be.  But I do.  I know what a fifteen-month-old should be able to do.  Every month I have a mom’s lunch with coworkers.  They’re the most fantastic people in the world.  But it’s so hard to hear them complain that their kids follow them around and eat everything.  My daughter has a feeding tube and doesn’t move.  Both my husband and I work full time.  We’re so tired.  It’s like a bucket that’s being drained from so many holes.  But you know what?  It’s better than the unknown.  It’s better than I imagined it was going to be.  Because I’m a parent now.  And when you’re imagining all these things, it’s so hard to picture the love.  She’s such a happy baby.  She gets so proud of herself when she accomplishes something.  She never wakes up crying.  The one thing that comes easy to her in life is love and happiness.”      
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)