Michelle Proulx's Blog, page 4

Day in the Life of an Author / Innkeeper

6:30 AM — Wake up to the gentle chirping of cellphone alarm.

6:31 AM — Nope. Still too tired. Re-set the alarm for 7:00 AM, fall back asleep.

7:00 AM — Wake up to the gentle chirping of cellphone alarm.

7:01 AM — Fall back asleep.

7:10 AM — Wake up in a panic, remembering that I do, in fact, have to get up.

7:15 AM — Realize I’ve been lying in a daze in bed instead of getting up.

7:16 AM — Proceed to washroom and get into the shower.

7:26 AM — Realize I’ve spent the last 10 minutes contemplating my novel instead of shampooing my hair.

7:45 AM — Escape shower, look at cellphone clock, realize I should already be downstairs, panic.

8:01 AM — Stagger downstairs, fully dressed and more-or-less awake.

8:05 AM — Start making breakfast for our guests.

8:37 AM — Stomach starts to gurgle, scavenge random odds and ends from fruit salad bowl, toast crumbs, ham slices, etc.

9:02 AM — Halfway through cooking four different dishes, run a platter of jam and maple syrup out to the dining room because Mother forgot to bring them.

9:03 AM — Stay on my “I’m so competent I never forget things” high horse for an entire minute before I realize I forgot to make bacon.

9:07 AM — Hover over the stove, with the bacon pan on high heat, begging the goddamn bacon slice to cook faster.

9:33 AM — Get the last meal plated and sent out to dining room, immediately start cleaning kitchen.

10:00 AM — Check out time! No one is ready to leave yet.

10:07 AM — Hover around kitchen, putting random stuff away, stomach rumbling, waiting for guests to leave so I can eat.

10:33 AM — Eat breakfast!!!

10:55 AM — Start cleaning.

11:55 AM — Still cleaning.

12:55 PM — Still cleaning.

1:55 PM — Still cleaning.

2:55 PM — Still cleaning, Mother is starting to panic we won’t finish in time for check-in, take off earphones so I am able to hear her freaking out and respond accordingly.

3:47 PM — Finished cleaning!!! Told you we’d be done in time, Mother. Pffft. Why do you continuously doubt me?

3:51 PM — Crap, didn’t make cookies.

3:52 PM — Make cookies.

4:00 PM — Check-in time! No one is here.

4:37 PM — First guests arrive! Give them tour of the house, get breakfast order, show them to their room.

4:41 PM — Sneak back downstairs, flip open laptop, open up my novel file, and try to get a few words in before the next guests show up.

4:44 PM — Next guests arrive.

5:26 PM — Tour done, guests safely in rooms, return to laptop and try to write some … nope. New reservation came in. Deal with reservation.

5:32 PM — Writing time!

5:33 PM — More guests arrive.

6:01 PM — Okay, now it’s writing time!

6:04 PM — Last guests arrive.

6:27 PM — Seriously, do I finally get to wr–nope, it’s time to water the garden. Come on …

7:33 PM — Gardening done! Stomach’s starting to rumble, so that means it’s time for din–

7:34 PM — Realize the grocery store closes at 8 PM, and we need about a gazillion things to make breakfast tomorrow.

8:00 PM — Stagger back into house loaded with grocery bags, unpack groceries.

8:06 PM — Dinner time! And then maybe after that I can retire up to my room, sit down, and finally get some writing done …

8:37 PM — Iron napkins for breakfast.

8:43 PM — Set table for breakfast.

8:52 PM — Help Mother fold fitted sheets.

9:01 PM — Get ice and glasses for guests who want to drink rum and coke before bed.

9:07 PM — Go to turn lights out in parlour, get drawn into discussion with guests about their vacation plans for tomorrow.

9:28 PM — Grab laptop and phone and run upstairs before anyone can ask me to do anything else.

9:31 PM — Finally, writing time! Open up laptop, put fingers to keys … and am so tired I can barely string two words together.

9:35 PM — Watch an episode of whichever show I’m currently binge-watching.

10:30 PM — Resolve to actually get some writing done tomorrow, crawl into bed, pass out.

 

Doom and gloom aside, I actually am really enjoying running a bed and breakfast! It’s just a lot of work. So. Much. Work. And I never get any writing done. It’s driving me crazy. Hopefully once Mother and I get more comfortable with being innkeepers, we’ll have more free time and then I can actually get some work done on Cerulean Bound. Until then … onwards and upwards!

 

Unrelated media of the day:

Truly excellent stock photos …

New Imminent Danger Fan Art!!!

In today’s offering from the beautiful and talented Celeste DeWolfe, we have some fan art from Imminent Danger featuring Eris, Miguri, and Alyra.

The scene (SPOILER ALERT) is after Eris and Miguri escape Chakra Corp with Alyra’s help, and Eris attempts to recite the “To be or not to be” speech from Hamlet, with amusing results.

I think my favorite part of this drawing is Alyra, because it just boggles my mind how the artist manages to put so much expression on the face of an alien with no mouth and giant, wacky eyes. Thank you, Celeste, for the gorgeous new fan art!

7 Signs You Have a Dragon Infestation

Important information about an uncommon but deadly infestation.

Legends of Windemere

Toothless

We’ve all been there.  Minding our own business when we stumble onto a sign that there are dragons nearby.  If we’re lucky, the beast is already gone or simply passing through the area.  Yet there are times where they stick around.  So here’s what to look for to see if you need an exterminator.

You haven’t seen the cat in days.  Sure, Princess Tangerine wanders off from time to time.  This feels different.  Maybe it’s because she hasn’t reacted to you running the can opener over a loudspeaker.  Could even be the that her food bowl is missing . . . along with the floor it was on.
There’s a lot of smoke in and around the house.  You’ve called the fire department, but that hasn’t stopped the problem.  Then again, the truck has been outside for the last few days, so maybe it’s a really big fight where you…

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Legends of Windemere: Tribe of the Snow Tiger is Live for Pre-Order! #ASMSG #fantasy #Bookboost

Legends of Windemere

Now Available on Amazon for Pre-Order!

Coming to your Kindle on June 1st!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Timoran Wrath has a shameful secret that is about to see the light of day.

The noble barbarian has always been a constant source of strength and wisdom for his beloved friends. His loyalty has been unwavering and they know that he would never hesitate to lay down his life for them. Even in their darkest hour, the champions know that Timoran will come through and fight to the bitter end. Now they must return the favor as he reunites with his tribe and willingly faces the executioner’s blade.

Is it possible that the honorable Timoran was nothing more than an illusion?

Don’t forget to add it to your Goodreads ‘To Read’ List too!

Excerpt: The Snow Tiger

Yahoo Image Search

“The snow is too bright and level for me to see…

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Imminent Danger series FREE this weekend!

In honor of my four-year blogging anniversary, both Imminent Danger And How to Fly Straight into It and its sequel, Chasing Nonconformity, are free to download today and tomorrow! Here’s the fun little promo banner I whipped up …

If you have a spare second, please consider sharing the banner (and links) on the social media site of your choice. And, of course, download the books if you haven’t read them! I can’t promise they’ll change your world, but I can promise they’ll give you a few solid hours of entertainment — and what’s life without a little fun?

Here are the aforementioned links:

Imminent Danger

http://bookShow.me/B00S4B9U62

Chasing Nonconformity

http://bookShow.me/B016BZGR72

Note: For any authors wondering about those URLs, they’re from BookShow.me, which is a website that generates a universal link that will direct you to the Amazon site of your choice (so you don’t have to provide links for .com, .ca, .co.uk, etc.) Pretty cool, eh?

Anyway, read, enjoy, share if you feel so inclined, and above all, have a fantastic weekend and stay awesome!

Throwback Friday: Imminent Danger Launch Party Recipes!

A good three or so years ago, the original version of Imminent Danger And How to Fly Straight into It was published one sunny January morning. And to celebrate the publication, I held a launch party!

The attendees were my friends and family (no one else knew about it back then), and we had a blast. We also consumed a number of truly ridiculous foodstuffs, all inspired by the Imminent Danger universe.

I pulled on a jacket yesterday, and discovered a sheet of Imminent Danger recipes in the pocket. Apparently I hadn’t worn it in three years. Whoops. But the blast from the past was very entertaining, and I thought I’d share the recipes here with you, in case you ever want to throw your own Imminent Danger party.

Note: Some of these recipes are good. Some are terrible. Use with caution.

Some of these were big hits — the mini Ssrisk ship blue rice krispie balls, for example, went over very well. The “Approach to Alpha Centauri” layered sandwich was delicious — I think we used about ten different kinds of meat in that thing, and at least five cheeses. The space jelly with cinnamon was apparently quite good, although I don’t eat jello so I can’t confirm or deny that.

The only one I think we didn’t end up making was the “Barlow Collegiate Institute Caesar Salad” — probably because I obviously only came up with that because I needed to serve something healthy, so I stuck a random place name at the front of “salad” to make it thematically appropriate. Sigh. My imagination giveth, and my imagination taketh away.

So, there you go! Recipes for all your Imminent Danger needs. Try them out and report back with your findings.

In other news, this week is my four year blogging anniversary! In honor of that, this weekend (May 21 and 22) I will be giving away on Amazon both Imminent Danger and Chasing Nonconformity for free!!! The ebook version, obviously, not the print version. So if you’ve always been meaning to read one/both of them, and haven’t had the chance yet, now’s the time! I’ll be posting about that again tomorrow to remind you.

Thanks for reading, have a great weekend, and stay awesome!

 

Unrelated media of the day:

Writing When You Have a Terrible Memory

I have a terrible memory. Readers of my blog will not find this surprising, as it’s something I’ve mentioned many times before. Or have I? I can’t remember.

Badum-tish!

Right. So, I have a terrible memory. Which can make writing very difficult, as where other writers would be working on a scene and think, “Hmm, did I already mention this earlier? Yup, I did. Okay, moving on,” I go through the following thought process:

Did I already mention this earlier? Yup, I did.  Or did I? I should probably check …

*Scrolls back through manuscript to appropriate section. Finds nothing.*

Okay, I’m good. So I can mention it here, and then … hang on. I definitely talked about this. I’m like 73% sure I did. Maybe it was in a different section?

*Starts at beginning of manuscript and starts scrolling. Halfway through Chapter 3, notices a typo.*

Dammit. How did I manage to misspell “the”? It’s three freaking letters! Hang on, I remember this scene being funny. Let me just read a bit … no, she wouldn’t say that, let’s change it … ha! Good one, Michelle. This bit should be longer though, to drive home the joke …

*Three hours later.*

What was I doing again?

As a result, writing tends to take a while.

This blog post was brought on by my valiant attempts to write the first draft of Cerulean Bound, in which I introduce the space rock band Hail Oblivion. The drummer is currently named both Flurgeluff and Snorgeluff, as I apparently changed his name halfway through and didn’t notice until I went back to double-check the spelling. In my defense, I got the second half of the name correct, and that’s really all that matters, right?

RIGHT?

Wrong. I seem to be incapable of remembering characters’ names. I’m lucky I remember my own name half the time. Then again, I grew up with my father frequently referring to me as “Cocoa,” which was our dog’s name, so I suspect it’s genetic.

In conclusion, remembering things is hard.

 

Unrelated media of the day:

 

 

 

A Fury of Angels – take two

Just beta-read Andrew Toynbee’s new book “A Fury of Angels” and quite enjoyed it — and today it’s live on Amazon!

Andrew Toynbee's very own Blog

Following a minor glitch at Amazon (where they failed to acknowledge my .mobi file upload), the formerly pre-orderable ‘A Fury of Angels’ is now fully live!

UK Link

US Link

Apologies to anyone who used the pre-order option and received a message to say it wasn’t available.

Life Update (a.k.a. Where the Heck Have You Been, Michelle?)

You’ve probably noticed I haven’t been posting on this blog in a while. In order to explain my absence, I have created a list of possible explanations. The game is to figure out which of the four explanations is true. Ready, set, go!

I was recently contracted by the US Army to develop a high-end, designer line of semi-automatic machine guns for the “Flying Duck” squadron, codename: Quack Smack Attack.
I had a terrible automobile accident that resulted in my arm being completely severed from my body. Thanks to the stalwart efforts of Dr. Stark, I now have an Iron Man-style robot arm which allows me to fight crime as the masked crusader “Robot Arm Girl” (trademark pending).
I had an existential crisis and fled to India for six months to find myself in the rough streets of Mumbai, where I teamed up with a young man desperately trying to save the girl of his dreams from local gangsters, and ended up competing on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?
I moved to Lunenburg, Nova Scotia to open a bed and breakfast with my mother.

If you guessed #4, you were right! If you guessed #1, #2, or #3, we need to have a serious talk about your grasp on reality.

Basically, my mother and her boyfriend decided to move to Lunenburg, Nova Scotia and open a bed and breakfast, and I’m going along to help out as the assistant innkeeper! We’ve just finished moving all our stuff into the house (not unpacking, though – HA, as if) and we are now in the process of getting ready for our June 1st opening date. The B&B is called the Atlantic Sojourn, if you’re curious to see what it looks like. Or I guess I could just show you a picture …

So that’s what’s been going on with me! I also wrote a short story for Kai Herbertz‘s Arcane Arts sci-fi/fantasy short story anthology, which should be coming out later this year. Oh, and I’ve of course been working on Imminent Danger #3 (Cerulean Bound) — I’m about a quarter of the way through it, which is a quarter more than I was before, so huzzah!

Thanks as always for reading, and stay awesome!

 

Unrelated media of the day:

Hot Off the Press: Honest Fibs, a Collection of SSF Short Stories

Here is the promised update on the progress of Honest Fibs, my third collection of short stories, written in my trademark combination of speculative and science fiction: it’s alive! Sorry, I …

Source: Hot Off the Press: Honest Fibs, a Collection of SSF Short Stories