Ross Young's Blog, page 43
January 6, 2020
06/01/20 brave
“When will I die?”
“Tuesday.”
“What?”
“You’re supposed to say #someday we all die.”
“I am?”
“Yes you are! You don’t summon death and expect a straight answer.”
“You’re unhappy I did what you wanted?”
“Yes…no…Tuesday?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Sorry. Must dash.”
“Tuesday?”
06/01/20 whistpr
“My beauty shalt ne’er #wilt.”
“Hm.”
“What?”
“Wilt? No. First your body will go into rigor, then putrefaction and bloat, active and advanced decay, and finally a dry cadaver. It’s not pretty.”
“Nobody will see that!”
“Oh…I’ll let you watch! Back soon.” Death vanished.
06/01/20 vss
“#yip?”
“It’s disappointing.”
“Agreed.”
“Nobody will know,” the Grim Reaper said.
Beelzebub sighed. “I wish we hadn’t looked.”
“Well the mortals will still think…”
“The whole, let there be light thing?”
“I think big bang is current.”
“Better than the sad yip.”
“Quite.”
January 5, 2020
05/01/20 vss
“Please stop,” Death said.
‘I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re only doing it to annoy me.”
“It spreads fear and terror.”
“It does not. They can’t #disinter themselves. I have to go in the coffins. I don’t like small spaces.”
“Think of it as therapy.” Beelzebub grinned.
05/01/20 whistpr
“I crave a little #variation.”
“Every death is different.”
“Oh come on Beezy just one.”
“Fine. Just one.”
“Oh goody!”
“Go on then.”
“Let’s give them the idea of anonymous abuse!”
“For keyboard warriors and trolls?”
“Yes!”
“Grim, we did that already.”
“Well it is evil”
04/01/20 brave
“No.”
“I can’t help it,” she said.
“Yes. You said. #basorexia.”
“I died…”
“You died for this…”
“Sure, why not? Just one more.”
“Hugely inappropriate. This isn’t what the kiss of death means.”
“Oh come here boney.”
He held her at bay with his scythe. “Stop it!”
05/01/20 brave
“I miss the #raging fire and brimstone stuff.” Beelzebub said.
“You can still do that.”
“No, it’s so passé. They do worse things themselves. It’s all psychological now.”
“Is it?” The Grim Reaper asked.
“It’s the media.”
“Didn’t you flay thousands today?”
“Fake news.”
04/01/20 whistpr
“You have to come out.”
“I’m going back to sleep.”
“I know you’re #under the blanket. You’re not hiding.”
“Lalala.”
“This is embarassing.”
“Shh.”
The Grim Reaper sighed. “Okay I can’t lift the blanket so technically you’re right it does protect you. You’re still dead.”
04/01/20 vss
“Unusual way to go,” the Grim Reaper said.
“I…uh…was trying to activate my #latent abilities.”
“I see. By strangling yourself while…hm.”
“Yes well…”
“Was the mask.”
“Superhero costume.”
“I see. Well…I can pull the trousers up if you like…”
“Thanks…”
January 3, 2020
Near Death Experiences (Pilot) – Dead Heads – R Young
Welcome to Near Death Experiences. Today we’re speaking to Ralph Mortimer from the novel Dead Heads by R young. This is a pilot episode so don’t think too hard about how meta it is that an author is interviewing a character from his book using characters he has created for the purpose…it’s confusing. Ahem, anyway. Nice to meet you Ralph.
Ah, you too. Are you the Grim Reaper…is that…is that the devil? Where am I?
Nevermind that, let’s get on with the show. So Ralph, your author is Ross Young.
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