Lloyd Matthew Thompson's Blog, page 2

Five Fingers

The wakened lover speaks directly to the beloved,

“You are the sky my spirit circles in,

the love inside love, the resurrection-place.

Let this window be your ear.

I have lost consciousness many times

with longing for your listening silence,

and your life-quickening smile.

You give attention to the smallest matters,

my suspicious doubts, and to the greatest.

You know my coins are counterfeit,

but you accept them anyway,

my impudence and my pretending!

I have five things to say,

five fingers to give into your grace.

First, when I was apart from you,

this world did not exist,

nor any other.

Second, whatever I was looking for

was always you.

Third, why did I ever learn to count to three?

Fourth, my cornfield is burning!

Fifth, this finger stands for Rabia,

and this is for someone else.

Is there a difference?

Are these words or tears?

Is weeping speech?

What shall I do, my love?”

So he speaks,

and everyone around begins to cry with him,

laughing crazily,

moaning in the spreading union

of lover and beloved.

This is the true religion.

All others are thrown-away bandages beside it.

This is the sema of slavery and mastery

dancing together. This is not-being.

Neither words, nor any natural fact

can express this.

I know these dancers.

Day and night I sing their songs

in this phenomenal cage.

My soul, don’t try to answer now!

Find a friend, and hide.

But what can stay hidden?

Love’s secret is always lifting its head out from under the covers,

“Here I am!”

 

[ Rumi, Rom. 7:15-23, Tibetan Book of the Dead: Common Preliminary Practice ]

 

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Face to Face with Death

On this Dia de los Muertos—Day of the Dead—it is the perfect time to pull out and begin re-reading the beautiful and inspiring Tibetan Book of the Dead, something I’ve been wanting to do again for a while now anyway.

The following is the opening chapter of my favorite translation by Gyurme Dorje, edited by Graham Coleman with Thupten Jinpa:

 

O, Alas! Alas! Fortunate Child of Buddha Nature,

Do not be oppressed by the forces of ignorance and delusion!

But rise up now with resolve and courage!

Entranced by ignorance, from beginningless time until now,

You have had [more than] enough time to sleep.

So do not slumber any longer, but strive after virtue with body, speech and mind!

Are you oblivious to the sufferings of birth, old age, sickness and death?

There is no guarantee that you will survive, even past this very day!

The time has come [for you] to develop perseverance in [your] practice.

For, at this singular opportunity, you could attain the everlasting bliss [of nirvana].

So now is [certainly] not the time to sit idly,

But, starting with [the reflection on] death, you should bring your practice to completion!

The moments of our life are not expendable,

And the [possible] circumstances of death are beyond imagination.

If you do not achieve an undaunted confident security now,

What point is there in your being alive, O living creature?

All phenomena are [ultimately] selfless, empty, and free from conceptual elaboration.

In their dynamic they resemble an illusion, mirage, dream, or reflected image,

A celestial city, an echo, a reflection of the moon in water, a bubble, an optical illusion, or an intangible emanation.

You should know that all things of cyclic existence and nirvana

Accord [in nature] with these ten similes of illusory phenomena.

All phenomena are naturally uncreated.

They neither abide nor cease, neither come nor go.

They are without objective referent, signless, ineffable, and free from thought.

The time has come for this truth to be realised!

Homage to the spiritual teachers!

Homage to the meditational deities!

Homage to the dakinis!

O, Alas! Alas! How needing of compassion are those living beings tortured by their past actions,

[Who are drowning] in this deep chasm, the engulfing ocean of their past actions!

Such is the nature of fluctuating cyclic existence!

Grant your blessing, so that this ocean of sufferings may run dry!

How needing of compassion are those who are skill-less

Those who are tortured by ignorance and past actions,

Those who indulge in actions conducive to suffering—

Even though they desire happiness!

Grant your blessing, so that the obscuration of dissonant mental states and past actions may be purified!

How needing of compassion are the ignorant and the deluded,

[Bound] in this confining dungeon of egotistical attachments and the subject-object dichotomy,

Who, like wild game, are trapped in this snare time after time!

Grant your blessing so that cyclic existence may be stirred to its depths!

How needing of compassion are those beings who endlessly revolve [in the cycle of existence],

As if [circling] perpetually [on] the rim of a water-wheel,

In this six-dimensional city of imprisoning past actions!

Grant your blessing, so that the womb entrances to the six classes of existence may be barred!

We who are fearless and hard-hearted, despite having seen so many sufferings of birth, old age, sickness and death,

Are wasting our human lives, endowed with freedom and opportunity, on the paths of distraction.

Grant your blessing, so that we may [continuously] remember impermanence and death!

Since we do not recognise that impermanent [things] are unreliable,

Still, even now, we remain attached, clinging to this cycle of existence.

Wishing for happiness, we pass our human lives in suffering.

Grant your blessing, so that attachment to cyclic existence may be reversed!

Our impermanent environment will be destroyed by fire and water,

The impermanent sentient beings within it will endure the severing of body and mind.

The seasons of the year: summer, winter, autumn, and spring, themselves [exemplify] impermanence.

Grant your blessing, so that disillusionment [with conditioned existence] may arise from the depths [of our hearts]!

Last year, this year, the waxing and waning moons,

The days, nights, and indivisible time moments are all impermanent.

If we reflect carefully, we too are face to face with death.

Grant your blessing, so that we may become resolute in our practice!

Though this [body] endowed with freedom and opportunity is extremely hard to find,

When the Lord of Death approaches in the semblance of disease,

How needing of compassion are those who, bereft of the [sacred] teachings,

Return empty-handed [from this life]!

Grant your blessings so that [a recognition of] urgency may grow in our minds!

Alas! Alas! O Precious Jewel, embodiment of compassion!

Since you, the Conqueror, are endowed with a loving heart,

Grant your blessing, so that we and the six classes of beings

May be liberated, right now, from the sufferings of cyclic existence!

 

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The True Constant

 

When I was younger,

and first learning I could feel

the presence of the Earth,

I would get SO annoyed

and upset with concrete

blocking the way and covering up

so much of the ground

everywhere I went.

I became anti-cement

nearly to an extreme

anti-civilization frame of mind,

until I grew a bit more

and found

cement did not matter,

asphalt was no block to Mother

because it WAS the Mother,

made of the same.

Then

after I had grown even more,

I figured out

that sameness was also me—

and that sameness was

actually energy.

I can look at the tree

and see its sprig of a sprout

and its vulnerable twig 

it grew from

as well as the towering

being it has become,

and feel overcome

with feelings

of honoring pride and joy

as if it were myself

who accomplished that,

because it was.

I look at my daughter,

who used to be so tiny

and helpless

and dependent on me,

now five years old

attending school

and needing her daddy

much less than before,

and even amid that awareness of change

I am overwhelmed

with pride and love

at the young lady she is becoming

all on her own,

this being so amazing

and completely herself,

and I watch and I know

this too is how

my own journey was.

I feel so old,

so wonderfully old…

I’ve been through so much,

learned levels on levels

of myriad things,

and still I know nothing,

nothing at all,

except Love is the one thing

that matters to me,

that binds every facet

of time across space,

and is the only true constant

growing each change.

 

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Insight Lights! Observation Camera! Action!

 

I have got to help make changes.

I’ve watched and observed and contemplated and felt and cried over the pain and suffering in this world—needless pain and suffering—for long enough.

My focus is seriously beginning to shift now toward more action-oriented questions.

I am asking the Universe to begin showing ways to help The Shift.

I have to.

 

Homosexual rights and black rights and everything like that should simply be PEOPLE rights—why must they be label-specific?

 

Money and food may be necessary foundations of staying alive, but the arts are the BREATH and spirit of BEING alive—they must be a high priority, and must be supported, encouraged, and made easily available and affordable for the health of everyone!

 

Time in nature—unplugged and present—is as ESSENTIAL to well-being as oxygen!

 

I’ve had more than my fill of apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic books and film: we all clearly sense and feel the downhill slope our planet is heading—it’s time to stop imagining and describing and dwelling on it, and time to begin writing it how we WANT it to be! Put your energy into THAT!

 

We are not this people and that people, this country with these invisible lines on the ground, that country with these invisible lines on the ground, we are HUMANS. This is our PLANET. One planet! The ONLY one we have—and we SHARE it. What one does TOTALLY affects everyone else here.

 

And we are not the masters of the Universe. We are not even the masters of earth.

We are local fauna, no different than any other life here other than having the ability to reason, observe, problem-solve, and see beyond our own ego—WHICH SHOULD AUTOMATICALLY MAKE THINGS THE OPPOSITE OF HOW THEY CURRENTLY ARE, don’t you think?

 

How do I make any sort of difference in ANYTHING?

More waiting, more watching—no hesitating on action, when opportunity revealed.

 

Oh, I’m also an author, aren’t I?

Hmmmm…. LOL

 

 

 

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The Origin of Pieces

 

I find that these days, I am very interested in origins—not only the stories about what someone did, what they’re known for, but I want to know about HOW they got to what they are known for… what led them to make the decisions that led to the result?

 

In part, I blame my wife Melissa and her master people-reading skills she combines with her psychology degree in her drive to delve deeper and deeper into an event or circumstance, searching for the roots and core.

 

In part, I blame my own age. I’ve somehow grown up despite all kicking and screaming (maybe I can blame my daughter for that one—no wait, she always reminds me TO play and relax and enjoy life for the sake of life) and fallen even more in love with stories, which I see naturally led to a deeper curiosity into the HOWs.

 

Perhaps a deeper or more experiential knowledge of the cause-and-effect workings of karma as I get older are sprinkled into that as well…

 

I refused to acknowledge the three Star Wars sequel/prequels (Episodes I, II, and III) for years and years. But now, when I sit my children down for an all-six-movies-in-order marathon (like any good father would) and see the continuity of the epic story as a whole, I have found I not only appreciate the background origins we see unfold that led to the original Star Wars trilogy I was raised on, but I actually do love it as well! Shock and horrors, and all that jazz!

 

But I find it IS an important story to tell as well—otherwise, there’s just this Darth Vader dude flying around tearing crap up with no background info until we find out he is somehow Luke and Leia’s father, which still doesn’t explain much. Yet how powerful is it that we now know the heart of Padme Amidala and her struggle as she fights in Senate for all living beings with all she has, to prevent the corruption she sees her world tumbling to with one bad power-hungry decision after another—and then we find that she becomes the lover and wife of Anakin Skywalker, mother of Luke and Leia, AND the roundabout cause in Anakin’s attached and fearful mind that pushes him into fully becoming Darth Vader, implementing the very thing she dedicated her life to fighting?! SUCH a tragic story!

 

And then Padme’s final gifts of Luke and Leia grow up, and the story reaches a full circle with even Anakin/Vader finding redemption in his final hour, and ultimately proving to be the Chosen One bringing an end to the Empire after all—BY TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS ACTIONS, FACING HIS CHOICES SQUARELY, AND OWNING THEM. He remembered himself, and saved the world, just in time.

 

I can only giddily imagine what sort of progress we’ll see this Christmas when Star Wars Episode VII releases. Its title THE FORCE AWAKENS suggests we will see a New Age has blossomed in that galaxy far, far away!

 

I really didn’t mean for this post to be all about Star Wars though. LOL!

 

I had already been thinking about all these things this morning, and then on my work break, I read in The End of Your World by Adyashanti:

“All delusions begin in the mind. All delusions are based on various ways we’re talking to ourselves and then believing what we are saying.

The key to unraveling any delusion, to seeing through anything that separates us, is to uncover its genesis. What are you telling yourself that is creating a sense of division…”

 

A majority of the time, origins prequels come out as sequels to works already done, in both the book world and the movie world.

Ha—time is non-linear, don’tcha know??

 

I see it’s the same way with our works and habits we’ve formed.

In order to begin any sort of change, we have to start where we are, here and now, after the fact of what was done has been done, and then go back, tracing its origins, looking for the clues to uproot and allow the change to begin grafting in place.

 

I think—like books and movies—we have to get interested in the existing story now, to then want to know more of the story leading to the now.

 

And I think all this is tied together as part of waking up.

Part of kissing enlightenment.

We suddenly find ourselves in the middle of a story, and have no idea how we got there. LOL—frogs in pots.

 

And guess what?

Once we find the prequel, we get to write the sequel!

 

 

 

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Upekka

As I suppose naturally happens in a numerological life number 1 year, I have been turned within as of late, processing and feeling into just who I have become now, where I see myself heading, and exactly what issues weigh foremost on my Heart.

And I find equality is a major desire of my Heart.

Race, religion, orientation, social status, mental capacity—I honestly do not understand the imagined differences that cause all the conflicts in our world! People are people!

In fact, as I look back on my thirty-seven years so far, this seems to have always been present, in various ways.

Choirs have always caused me to instantly burst into tears, whether they are singing old hymns or new pop songs.

Flash mobs have always had the same effect on me—people not only coming together in unison, but doing it by surprising others and catching their defenses off-guard so the others are feeling the powerful energy of unity in their hearts and responding to it before they even realize what they’re doing.

I’ve always been interfaith oriented, easily seeing and understanding the commonalities between belief systems and spiritual paths.

I used to have a blog called Upekka on one of my old spiritual community website projects—Upekka is Sanskrit for “equanimity” or “freedom to BE.”

I feel this is an area my Heart is leading me to.

Where it will take me, I can only wait and see…

I remember a time when my view was clearly “Sure I see it, sure that’s horrible, but we can’t do anything about it, so… just ignore it.”

I think I just figured that those who COULD do something about the thing WOULD do something about it, so I had nothing to worry about, and nothing to do personally.

I find I do not feel that way anymore, and I cannot really even imagine how I ever could have—or how ANYONE could.

When one sees a need, an injustice, an abuse, how can one NOT do something about it?

How can one be okay simply standing by, silent, in their own little world, without at least SAYING something?

How did I get to this point?

How am I, who was once deathly shy, now becoming increasingly unable to not speak up about a thing, whether it is my own family’s needs at a restaurant dinner, a ridiculous discrimination, or a short-sighted plan that holds no consideration or concern for the future—for my children?

I believe it is the side effect of several factors and experiences, but I feel it boils down to pure, simple awareness.

Awareness ushers understanding.

Understanding fosters Love.

Love inhabits compassion.

Compassion IS Love.

Love IS understanding.

Understanding IS awareness—irresistible awareness.

The end of ignorance, and the end of silence.

“Oh, but there’s no way I can get all the way to that country, that state, reach those people who CAN cause a change—and besides, even if I could, what difference would my little effort make?”

That may be true… but everyone is SOMEWHERE, aren’t they?

Who can say what sort of domino-tumble will be sparked by one person shining the light of awareness on a situation, a need, in their own little area?

What if a dozen areas have one person that speaks up and says “Hey, now hold on just a gosh-darn minute there…”

Yet even this calls for discretion, discernment, and wisdom.

Constant mindful awareness.

Act where it is beneficial… be still where it is not beneficial.

Intuitively pick and choose battles.

And extremes imbalance in all things.

So… speak from the Heart.

Drop all fear.

Shine.

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Acclimate

 

AS FRAIL AS IT is to be human, the resilience and adaptability possible absolutely astounds me.

It seems contradictory, as easily as these bodies can be broken or sicken, but I fully believe that is where the key is revealed—there is a major difference between the body and the mind.

The mind is what is able to adapt to environment, able to survive crises, able to accept—or reject—change.

The older I grow, the more I see how easily the mind can also be manipulated or deceived.

The major changes at work (which are still underway) have been one personal example of that for me.

Over the past five weeks, I’ve watched myself and those around me go through the cycle of grumble, balk, resentfully cooperate, adjust, relax, begin to accept…

And we’re all okay!

And guess what?

I’m even beginning to see ways this has been a GOOD thing for me.

I’ve just finished reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, and this wonderful book demonstrates all these beautifully, from the courage of doing what you believe to be right, to the bravery of doing what you HAVE to at times, to how words and the mind can be used to hoodwink an entire country right into the hands of a dictator—and free and empower a person as well!

It’s all in our heads.

The major purpose of the entire Buddhist path is directed to training the mind, to seeing the reality of reality in all its rawness, and to consciously choose reactions to what is seen and override the death-grip of habitual responses.

Way easier said than done, but with each real-life experience, the truth of these things are polished just a tiny bit more, and the determination to keep plodding toward growth strengthens.

Allons-y!

 

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All I Need

 

I don’t know if it’s the Aries in me or the insatiable creative in me, but once the spark of something ignites, I want to go all out before I go out—and by that, I mean I first want to plot and plan and organize and design and…

I’ll start from the beginning.

Hand in hand with some major changes in my daily life and routines over the past month, my personal and internal routines have naturally been affected as well, and it turns out this rearranging seems to be for the better, internally. Though I can’t quite pinpoint how or why—perhaps it really doesn’t even have anything to do with the changes themselves, but more to do with my own attention—my thoughts and awareness have shifted back toward my core foundation, those fires in my Heart that never extinguish no matter how much they may dim in the midst of this physical life. Though you’d think I’d be even more stressed and scrambled with this even less time for all the busy-ness on my plate, I’ve somehow been able to spend more time with my family, more time reading material that waters my soul, more time stopping and seeing things in my world.

Change without choice in one area tumbled to change in other areas.

But this was inevitable, no?

And so I feel comfortable hard-shell cases are shattering, habit-clogged vision is clearing, blurry intentions and goals are sharpening… and sprouts that have broken ground at my core are seeing light—blossoms I hadn’t even realized I had developed over the past probably three years.

And I have to write!

I have to blog!

I have to get these… things… out into the atmosphere… thought aloud… rambled amok… things that cannot wait for the next big book to be written to see daylight.

I don’t know if it’s the Aries in me or the insatiable creative in me, but once the itch to start un-neglecting my poor blog and start making use of it for this purpose again, I immediately wanted to launch into a website redesign and blog reformat and start a fan page for it and link it to this and to that and and and…

No.

Just write.

The blog already exists—that’s all I need.

The layout and design is already good for what I need—that’s all I need.

The words and the fire and the emotions are already ready—that’s all I need.

I’m going to write.

That’s all I need.

I think that’s a key to life in general—we got all we need for this here moment right now.

How many other Heart-fires have been lost or scrunched because of perfect pre-planning rather than simply doing?

It doesn’t matter.

I’m this me, and this me cannot not [insert things here].

PS—I do realize, though, that even this initial intention-post could technically be classified as not jumping right into writing, but having to set up explanatory ground first, but even that’s okay, too.

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Energyworker: A Call to Empowerment has arrived!

THIS IS NO APRIL FOOL’S joke—Energyworker: A Call to Empowerment has arrived in paperback and all eBook formats!

Working with energy is not something magical anyone has to learn.

It is naturally ingrained in everyone already.

There is nothing that can be done without energy. Each and every one of us works with energy in a multitude of ways every minute of every day.

If everything and everyone is nothing but energy, the fact we can even detect where an object is located shows we can “read” energy. The fact we can then actually pick up the object and move it to another location shows we can work with energy.

Our physical bodies are giant antennas for energy. Each of our senses are picking up the feedback of energy and translating it to our brain and nervous system as scents, sights, tastes, sounds, textures, and feelings. In fact, without energy receptors, we would not be able to operate within this physical plane! We would never be able to find where someone has moved something or built a wall that may be in our way, until we smack into it.

Everyone and everything that has ever existed came from the same energy, yet never left this energy, and still has not left it. Energy may shift and change and move, but it can never be destroyed.

The simple fact that you exist in this form, in this moment, means you are already a natural-born Energyworker.

Covering all bases from being affected by energy to healing with energy, Energyworker: A Call to Empowerment is the companion to Lightworker: A Call to Authenticity, and a guide the mindful and self-empowered will want to keep handy at all times.

Grab your copy, and begin the journey toward empowering yourself today!

 

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The Music That Touched My Soul [2014]

This year, I thought instead of my usual year-end recap and honoring ritual of simply writing about my experiences, I’d share it all with you in the form of what music I discovered in 2014—what moved me, what helped me, what uplifted me, and what kept me going and/or focused on my Core, my Foundation. These are not necessarily music that came out in 2014, but music that came to me in 2014, and therefore reflect images and glimpses of Who I Was and Where I Walked this year.

Music is such an important tool for moving and processing energy, both by allowing it to flow through and be felt throughout your entire being as you listen to it, and by creating music yourself, channeling and expressing the energy inside of you, giving the energy within you a place to be blessed, healed and winged.

I began teaching myself acoustic guitar in early 2014, and have found it very healing. I don’t have any of my own songs to share with you yet, but perhaps by this time next year I shall!

And now:

The Music That Touched My Soul in 2014

 

Trevor Hall

Chapter of the Forest

From its beckoning invocation of Jagadeesha—basically praying, “Come, Everything—sit and enjoy this offering!”—to its parting encouragement of Walk Quietly, Trevor Hall’s Chapter of the Forest was the first and foremost masterpiece that gave voice to my Heart in 2014.

Trevor Hall’s sincere Heart and energy poured into songs that were born from his own journey of re-centering immediately seeped into my own Heart, as my own. From the first time I sat with this album straight through, each track in perfect order brought another wave of tears to my eyes.

Many of you know what my family and I have been through the past two years, and the blind courage it took to continue on. There were many, many moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and utterly lost—lost in knowing what to do next, and lost in our faith. Yet every time Trevor’s Green Mountain State mantra chanted, “There’s a way, there’s a way, there’s a way, there’s a way,” I felt that energy-strand of Hope, and chose to hold it—had the strength to hold it, and continue on!

Then Green Mountain State melted into the divine promise of “You, too, will find your way. You, Child, will find your way” of Holy Country, followed immediately by the encouraging example of Kabir‘s “But let me tell you, Darling, I won’t weep—I’ll stay awake while the country sleeps!”

The sense of floating groundless in the unknown is a very powerful and necessary place to be—it removes all the crap and conditioning, and plops you back on level one, where you get to restructure your Self from scratch. It is the scariest and most humbling and empowering experience we go through—and everyone does go through it at least once, if not more. Trevor is clearly aware of this interconnection as well, as he opens Kabir with “Well everybody’s saying it’s unknown—Feel like a foreigner in my own home…” and then places The Promised Land after that, singing, “Sometimes I don’t feel at Home, like Exodus in my own soul.” To have your entire world upheaved in your own space leaves nothing left to cling to…

…except Love.

The Promised Land continues on to ask, “But can you love it unconditional, my friend?”

In the midst of this chaos, can you still find a way to love? To accept this present moment? To simply be?

When we can do this, we touch the Universe. We touch Divinity with our bare hearts, and are melted all over again.

“You say, ‘Open up and live—let that sweet Love come in,'” Trevor sings in O Haleakala, and begins to rise again, taking action with “I go forth into the Heart. Aloha Spirit through the dark,” and ends the track whispering, “Sit in the earth and hear wisdom… Do you believe in the dreaming? If not, your days will be dark… Thank you, Great Spirit. Thank you again…”

With this complete surrender to All That Is comes an even deeper sense of direct connection with the All, and the realization that we were never separate to begin with—even in the midst of the chaos! We are able to see that all has been well and perfectly in place, even if it was unable to be seen from our perspective in the moment.

“And as it tosses the Sun and Moon, I sit back and behold that, too,” the title track, Chapter of the Forest describes, finding that place of Trust in the Big Picture, and the ability to say, “All glory upon Her name…”

All has always been well. We were never endangered to begin with.

The Chapter of the Forest track is also special to me personally because of its call to return to the simple nature and example of Mother Earth. My shamanic roots were stirred and re-awakened every time the chorus began, “No more books, no more empty words, no more running away from Her. I now learn from the wind and rain, from the song of the lion’s mane…” Our connection to and relationship with our planet bears far more importance than we give energy and respect to. This must be maintained.

“What’s outside is within me—I see I see I see I see.” Great Mirror reminds one last time, as Trevor shouts, “Great Mirror, show me the way through!”

 

 

 

Hayley Sabella

King Solomon

 

I happened across Hayley Sabella on NoiseTrade—which has quickly become my favorite place to find and discover new music and unknown artists—as our lives and chaos finally began to simmer down in late summer, early autumn, and I felt able to breathe and begin to assess where I now stood, and who I now was because of the experiences and accompanying emotions. I’d definitely discovered I had more inside me than I was ever aware of, and a strength and “grown-up” capability to accomplish… anything.

My soul did a backflip the instant it first heard Hayley’s crystal clear voice starting Backbone, the album’s first track, stating her recognized need to break all conditioning and forge ahead in an authentic trail of her own making—while simultaneously acknowledging that in this day and age, it’s harder and harder to do such a thing. “There’s a way to strike a stride in a way that’s all your own, but still I’m stepping in footsteps that aren’t for me,” she explains before pondering, “Do I have the courage to be disapproved of? Have I got the backbone to say what I mean?” then admits in powerful openness and honesty: “I don’t know…”

But the fear of the unknown is powerless to stop or discourage her, and she ends the track with a confident, “But I walk on and on and on—even if I’m limping, I’ll walk on.”

Such raw honesty, authenticity, and determination can’t help but send us to our foundation, to our roots, so that we may examine and reconstruct ourselves again from square one. When we still ourselves, with nothing but our self and the earth, we find there is nothing but ourselves, and that there has never been anything but ourselves affecting us—all hindrance and all growth is our own doing to ourselves. In February, Hayley discovers and voices, “I’m tired of being cynical, I am tired of seeing gray… I’m done with being critical of things I cannot change—I’m finished with this log in my eye.” Then, from the floor, searches for and calls to her True Self, her Creator: “Will you walk with me March through April and May? I’m tired of February… Walk with me ’til it’s warm enough to really live…”

She Ecclesiastically ends this song with reminding herself how short time really is, and that every moment counts in this brief existence: “Before the moon and stars have darkened, and the clouds come to rain again, and the guards are outside trembling, and the strongest backs are bent; before the windows have dimmed and the doors are shut tight and desire is filled and the songs are brought low; before the silver cord is snapped, and the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the fountain, or the wheel is broken at the cistern; before the dust returns to earth as it was and your spirit returns to the God who gave it—remember your Creator.” Remember who you are!

Realizations that everything is simply what it is—without labels—are acknowledged in the title track, King Solomon. She explains that it is only our perceptions that paint things in certain lights with, “Well they say an honest man in difficult to find, especially in this troublesome day and age, but, Honey, I’m inclined to take a different mindset—Oh hear me when I say it’s always been this way. And King Solomon says there is nothing new under the sun…” The things around us have been there all along, and it is our perception or awareness of them that suddenly opens our eyes to see, like when you buy a new red car, and then begin noticing all the other red cars around, never realizing there were so many on the streets already. Hayley returns to her foundation reminder again in this song, singing, “It don’t matter who’s beside me, I still sleep with myself.”

It always comes down to ourselves.

We’re born alone, we die alone—we alone are responsible for our own lives.

There is no one else to shift the responsibility of our thoughts, words and actions to.

Then Hayley kicks it up another few notches, and hits a pure, intimate, mystical connection with the Divine for the rest of the album.

Her opening wailing and oohing of Child’s Play instantly clears everything away, and creates a sacred space to pour her (my) soul out to the Universe. “And my limbs are sore, but my Heart is quiet. Sleep will come easily tonight… There were no fireworks, there was no parade, but settlement can be so good for you. This is child’s play, child’s play, child’s play… When I look in truth, inside this Heart of mine; When I’m listening, I can hear your whisper on the wind: ‘Take it day by day…'” flows right into Up & Away Go, with “You swept in fast, and you swept out faster, and I cannot account for the state you left me in… I didn’t know your absence, until I knew your presence…” and on into Proud and Tight Fisted: “Revive me, revive me, Oh won’t you revive me? Cause I’m tired—it’s tiring pretending I know what I’m doing anymore… I’m a coward—it’s cowardly, this acting. These tactics are exhausting, and costing me more than I will pay.”

With fancy, energy-moving banjo-picking, she again acknowledges that she is the only one who can do anything to change or help or save herself: “I’ve been proud and tight-fisted, always shifting my weight around to have things the way I’d like them… I’ve been oddly particular, and isn’t it peculiar how one becomes rigid and lifeless? I’ve been trying to pry open my own white-knuckled fingers as they greedily grip on to nothing, moving too quickly, speaking over wise voices as they warn me to slow it down…”

The album begins to draw to a close with the simple, no-nonsense “Stop. See. This is just not what you were created for. Stop. Breathe. Take a breath for the first time as a child” of Speak To Me Loud. The shamanic connections of physical and nonphysical lace through for me once again with “Hey! Are you listening to the bristling of the trees as the breeze blows through?” We have never been, and can never be separated from… everything.

Hayley then invokes her Higher Self to come guide once more with “Speak to me so loud you drown out all of the noise… Speak to me so loud, cause if you don’t, someone else will… Speak to me so loud, cause if you don’t, I’ll hear someone else instead…” then seems to channel the answer straight through with the next track, Vanity: “Find your Home, come into your own. You got skinned knees, and red cheeks, but pay no mind—you’ll be fine. So make some trouble, make some noise, make some trouble, make your noise! Shout loud at the ocean! Declare who you are… say this is who I am, because that is who you are!”

The soul-soothing stringed instrumental of Striving After Wind serves as the intro to the final track, Brother, which I think may be my favorite on the whole album—a soft, acknowledging, encouraging, loving song reminding one last time that the power is our own, and has been all along—that no matter what arises, we are who we are, and can walk through with head held high.

“Oh, my Brother, battle-fighter, burdens are burning low… Oh, my Brother, secret-keeper, currents from deeper than we know… Oh, my Brother, tiptoe higher away from it all… Open your eyes, Broken-Hearted—healing will come from below, below your doubts, before the mouths of those who try to tell you that they know… Oh, my Brother, tiptoe higher away from it all… Tiptoe higher… Sing it low… Tiptoe higher… Sing it low…”

This is what makes me cry, every time, still, my body and Heart telling me that this is where I am healing, this is what I’m working on most.

This is the foundation I am rebuilding my Kingdom on.

The King Solomon album is a masterfully produced, perfectly arranged, work of art, straight through, and the emotion and depth with which Hayley Sabella performs each song leaves absolutely no doubt that she personally wrote and lived each one.

 

 

 

 

Lorde

Pure Heroine

 

Not all music has to have such meaningful weight to it though—all sorts of music is needed at different times for different energy-moving purposes… or simply for fun!

Lorde’s Pure Heroine album is another that snuck up on me in 2014, and blew me away. Here is this 18 year old girl with a huge, amazing voice, mega-creative lyrics, and wisdom beyond her years—definitely a part of the new energy this planet is trying to shift to: an energy of authentic, self-empowered freedom. This music came to me as everything in our lives was smoothing out, and new balances, routines, and worldviews were being found and felt out by me and my family. The well-mixed vocals and simple fun-ness of it felt like a celebration and rejoicing to me, while still honoring the goals and principles we work toward.

From the declaration of independence of Tennis Court‘s “It’s a new art form showing people how little we care” to Royals‘ “We don’t care—we’re driving Cadillacs in our dreams… We aren’t caught up in your love affair (materialism)” to the “I’m kinda over getting told to throw my hands up in the air—so there” of Team, Ms. Lorde provides a voice for all those with non-conformity in their blood, and sends the message of “Our dreams and visions are good enough, whether you say so or not, Society!” The running theme of being yourself no matter what everyone else is doing is present, even in this dancier, pop-ier brilliance. It’s also no wonder she was asked to write a theme song for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 movie—and nailed it with Yellow Flicker Beat. Katniss Everdeen was dedicated to her own authenticity as well, and it sparked a revolution without her ever intending to. But that song’s not on this album…

I think my particular favorite on this album is 400 Lux. It soothes my innards, and makes me smile, reminding me of the new period in our lives that began this year. It’s a beautiful “Let’s just BE” song: “We’re never done with killing time—can I kill it with you? We come around here all the time, got a lot to not do—can I kill it with you? You pick me up and take me Home again… And I like you… I love these roads where the houses don’t change (And I like you), where we can talk like there’s something to say (and I like you), I’m glad that we stopped kissing the tar on the highway… I’d like it if you stayed.”

Yet even Lorde closes her album with the reminder that we are all interconencted, whether some want to admit it or not. In A World Alone, she chants, “Let them talk—there’s no dancing in this world alone… Let them talk.”

Who cares?

Be YOU.