Jim Palmer's Blog, page 61

Then we’ll both dance.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. If you could, you would see just how beautiful you are, and the extraordinary miracle of being you. If you could climb inside of me right now and feel what I feel for and about you, you would know you are accepted and loved… all of you… just the way you are, and you would never again doubt your worth or your place in this world. Don’t confuse the word “acceptance” with “tolerance.” It’s not that you are a tolerable you. You are that priceless piece of art, that song that brings tears to your eyes, that sunset that moves you, takes your breath away and satisfies every molecule of your being. I don’t “tolerate” you, I dance and celebrate you! I wish right now you could sink down into and bask in the warmth of knowing all that you are.

But you won’t believe this about yourself. Instead, you are seeking worth, love, acceptance, security, peace, worth and happiness out there in the world. So you live in fear.

You fear failure because you have a misplaced dependency upon “success” for value and worth. You fear rejection because you have a misplaced dependency upon others’ opinions and responses to you for acceptance. You fear financial loss because you have a misplaced dependency upon money for peace and security. You fear abandonment because you have a misplaced dependency upon others for love. You fear God because you have a misplaced dependency upon religion that measures your value against your performance. You fear aging or not having the perfect body because you have a misplaced dependency on physical appearance for worth and acceptance. You fear honesty because you have a misplaced dependency on an image of having it all together for a sense of identity. You fear being a nobody because you have a misplaced dependency upon being a somebody for a sense of purpose and meaning and value.

Listen to me. Even if you could achieve all those things, they would not satisfy or fill what you long for. Somewhere out there along the way in your drive to succeed, your game of image management and pleasing others, your dutiful religious obedience, your obsession with losing weight and being thin, and carrying that monkey on your back to be special and significant or at least not found out… somewhere out there along the way in all of that you are going to lose something invaluable… yourself.

Do you get that? You’ll lose you – the you I see right now… the beautiful you, the worthy you, the good you, the loved you, the extraordinary you. Do you see? Even if, by doing all those things, you gained the whole world, you would forfeit you.

I’m going to ask something of you that isn’t going to be easy because it’s going to require you to trust me. Right now you are carrying a story inside your head about yourself that isn’t true, and you’re going to spend your entire life forfeiting yourself and losing your life trying to fight or disprove that story. I’m asking you to start seeing you through my eyes. I’m asking you to be open to the possibility that there is nothing wrong with you and never was. That you have nothing to earn, nothing to prove or disprove, that you can bury that fictitious story, and start living the truth. They say the truth is always better than fiction. See that for yourself. That other story will kill you piece by piece until there’s nothing left. But living the truth of who you are is going to open up a life of possibilities you could have never dreamed and would have never achieved out there chasing the carrot of acceptance.

There’s nothing wrong with you. There is no obstacle to overcome here except yourself. You can do this! You can step into the real story of who you are. Part of the old story is that you can’t. Not true. I wouldn’t have asked if I knew you couldn’t. Sure, it’s going to be a process. You going to have good days and bad days. But then one of those days… somewhere out there along the everyday paths of life when you least expect it… it will sneak up on you and suddenly you will indeed see yourself through my eyes.

Then we’ll both dance.”

- Jesus, Luke 9:25, Religion-Free Bible

That’s just the way it is

“The thought of performing miracles came back to mind. Jesus healed the sick, calmed storms, fed thousands of hungry people, and turned water into wine. These were the kinds of things that had come to mind the night that I’d considered what Jesus might have done had he been on the corner of Second and Broadway in Nashville. And I admit, it would be great to be able to perform drive-by miracles, to remove a girl’s birthmark, to heal a man’s cancer, to put a large sum of money in a homeless man’s pocket, to give a childless woman a son or daughter… Who wouldn’t want wonder-working magic in their back pocket, or special powers they could use at will when needed?

But then, I took a moment and reimagined that downtown Nashville scenario a different way. On that night months ago, when the pedestrian light turned green and those two masses of people began crossing, what would it have meant if I had simply stepped off the curb and onto the street with the intent of being a neighbor to each one of those people coming towards me? Without respect to race, religion, age, history, sexual preference, political party, or any other condition, what if I had been determined to be a neighbor to each and every person?

Even if I had removed the girl’s birthmark, healed the man’s cancer, resourced the homeless man, and given the woman a child, the basic fact of human existence would have remained unchanged. We are all faced with physical imperfections and life circumstances that are subject to change. One day, each of us will die by disease or some other hand, and none of us will have escaped our human journey without an unfulfilled longing, a wound, or suffering. That’s just the way it is and always will be. There is a frightening impermanence woven into the mosaic of human existence. The only thing we can know for sure is that whatever it is (our relationships, health, finances, job) it will change, and there’s no escaping that reality at the core of our journey.

Every human being on this planet has layers. Gender, race, ethnicity, personality, scripts, roles, religion, politics, education, net worth, achievements, appearance, wounds, imperfections, brokenness, patterns of thinking and behaving… But, once you peel back these layers, at the core of every one of us is a human being who desires to be seen and wants love, acceptance, understanding, compassion, empathy, and validation. No matter how bad life gets, if these essential needs are fulfilled, there is a basis for moving forward and living another day. I could see how this was the secret to Jesus’ ministry—he freely, liberally, and unconditionally gave what people needed and desired most. It was the miracle that changed and transformed people’s lives.

For all the people Jesus healed, there were an endless number of people he did not. Even those he did heal eventually grew sick and died. When I went back and reread the gospels, I began to see these miraculous acts of Jesus from a different perspective.”

- Jim Palmer, Being Jesus in Nashville

More excerpts from Jim’s new book

“If what you’re hearing in church is producing a fear of God or a diminishing view of yourself, RUN!

God is unconditional Love and unconditional Grace. I added the qualifier of “unconditional” to both because religion has managed to successfully convince you of the absurd notion that there is something in the fine print that says there are actually a condition or two or three (depending on the religion or denomination) to God’s Love and Grace.



There isn’t.

God’s unconditional Love means that in every moment all things are conspiring together for your freedom and well-being. God’s unconditional Grace means that in every moment you are deemed complete and whole. This isn’t a smoke and mirrors wholeness. The truth is that you were born complete and whole. You just don’t see this yet. In EVERY MOMENT, you can count on two things: God is for you, and God is pleased with who and what you are.”

“God’s unconditional Love means that there is a seed of liberation in every moment. God’s unconditional Grace means that there is never anything to achieve or attain because you are complete and whole as you are.”

 

 

“I’m not sure which will kill me first – the beauty of this life or the sadness of it. There’s this feeling I sometimes come upon that’s one part joy, one part freedom, and one part peace. It’s like they all happen at once mingled together, and saturates every molecule of my being with bliss. But there’s also a sorrow that sometimes pierces and pounds my heart so deeply that it feels as though I might die from the sheer magnitude of the pain and ache of it.

There is a bliss that no amount of ache can steal away. And there’s an ache that no amount of bliss can rescue you from. Enlightenment doesn’t spare you from being human. You are supposed to be here. You are supposed to be human. You signed up for it. You chose it. You are supposed to feel both the bliss and the ache.”

 

 

“Your true Self already knows the way things really are and that will become increasingly clear as you read this book. I’m not the least bit concerned that you won’t know the Truth or somehow miss it or mess it up. That’s not even possible. You already know the Truth and have always known the way things really are.

What this is about is removing the self-imposed obstacles that are in your way. You have developed a Titanic-sized mass of habit energy that blinds you to the perception and wisdom of your true Self.”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

A daily practice worth considering

“Until we go down to the very roots of our being we will never find peace and wholeness, and we will keep trying to manufacture lasting happiness in the circumstances of life, which is not possible because all of life is characterized by impermanence. At the root of our being is unchanging peace and wholeness, which we can bring into any circumstance. But instead we suppose it is necessary for some set of conditions to be present to know peace, well-being and contentment. It is our ignorance of ourselves that covers up our peace and wholeness, and makes us seek for what we already have and never lost. Shift the notion of needing to “find” or “create” a life of well-being, to the idea that well-being is who and what you are at the root of your being, and you are free to be this, whatever your circumstances and conditions. Taking this to heart, and being present in each moment of your life by simply responding to situations as they require, is a daily practice worth considering.”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

People will often say, “My authority is the Bible.”

People often have an authority-based basis for what they believe. That is, we take something to be true because some “authority” has deemed it so – a pastor, guru, tradition, spiritual leader, teacher, author, etc. But consider the possibility of having an evidence-based basis for truth. Try it and see for yourself.

For example, Jesus said that knowing the truth will set you free. If your brand of Christianity (whoever or whatever the “authority” of it might be) is not setting you free, then consider the possibility that you have missed the truth Jesus was talking about.

People will often say, “My authority is the Bible.” It would be more accurate for them to say, “My authority is what they told me at church the Bible means.”

It’s strange that people don’t respond to the truth that is clearly self-evident, and instead they respond to what they are told.

You bleed.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

- Ernest Hemingway

“I understand Ernest. You bleed. There are times when writing is torment. It won’t let you take the easy way out. Believe me, I’ve tried many times. But you’re haunted with thoughts of settling, not getting it right. It’s not perfectionism; it’s that you have to fight and claw to the real, raw, naked truth of a thing. You can use the word “sadness” and walk away, but is it really that? Or is it deeper than that, wider than that, bigger than that, more painful than that. Maybe it’s “anguish.” Or maybe there is no singular word and you have to describe it. Maybe it wasn’t sadness, maybe it was” feeling like you were going to die or wanted to.”

You put your writing out there for public consumption and it seems simple enough, but people don’t see the ache that sometimes goes into each word. It’s not only that you’re dipping your pen into the bottle of your own heartache, if that wasn’t bad enough, but it’s the unrelenting demand not to cheapen it with the wrong words. You have to honor what’s in that bottle of pain by getting it right – you owe that much to yourself.

Writing is not gourmet coffee, rainbows and ponies. There are times when writing is maddening. Sometimes I want to scream! Writing is unforgiving. You’re typing away and suddenly an unwelcome memory is thrust upon you, and you think to yourself, “Not going there!” But the writing gods aren’t so easily appeased. They will push and pull you to it, kicking and screaming the whole way. You can fight it; they always win.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep writing. I didn’t really choose writing, it chose me. It’s not just that I “want” to write. There’s a way I don’t have a choice – I “have” to write. I can’t not write. Some days that’s a blessing, other days a curse. It’s work. Sometimes the muse feels like wrestling an alligator. I’ve written chapters, and practically wept the entire way through it. Sometimes I’m utterly exhausted and drained at the end of writing just one paragraph. Cathartic??? It’s more like death by writing.

And then at the end of all of that, if you survive it, you lay yourself bare in words for the entire world to see, all the while knowing you didn’t succeed to even satisfy yourself, much less others. You tell yourself you did the best you could and move on.

For all the erroneous thoughts people have about the life of comfort, ease and fame of an author, people can’t see that it’s more or less a thankless endeavor. For what can you really receive in exchange for the blood you lose that Hemingway referred to? For the rare and few writers who make it big financially, there are a million others like me who struggle to make ends meet just like you.

But just when you are stuck in that moment of frustration and discouragement, ready, willing and begging to walk away from it all, you receive an email from someone who shares how something you wrote helped them… encouraged them, freed them, emboldened them, inspired them, gave them hope, made them feel understood and accepted, or opened their eyes to see themselves differently.

And that’s enough to sign up to bleed another day.”

- Jim Palmer

A few excerpts from Jim’s new book

 

“You’ve been duped into believing that what matters is having correct beliefs, and that has sent you down a road where you have become lost and can never know what is real. You have expended so much energy cobbling together a set of correct beliefs that you have worn out your believing-muscles and they’ve become too weak to believe the simplest true things. Forget the heady and ego-gratifying search to “know Truth.” Divest your energy from the drama of being right.”

 

 

“Your habitual way of seeking and knowing Truth, seeing the world, and trying to be happy and free isn’t working and it never will. Trying harder is not going to produce a different result.

There are all kinds of self-sabotaging programs that automatically run at the startup of your life each morning, and are running in the background of your life all day. There are unknown, unnecessary, and damaging files that are slowing you down on the path of freedom.

There’s quite a bit of junk that needs to go into your Recycle Bin. And yes, you are sure you want to permanently delete these files!”

 

 

“Religion confidently proclaims answers about the afterlife but has failed to sufficiently answer the question of the herelife. We don’t need help dying. The problem is we know not how to live.

Religion has told us all how it’s all going to end.

Jesus told people how it’s going to begin.

You were led to this book for that reason. It’s premature for the world to concern itself with the ending when most people have never made it to the beginning.

That beginning starts now.”

 

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

Sometimes you’ll have to fight for it.

“Do you ever feel like life is a slow and painful process of being torn apart, limb by limb? But then aren’t there also those times when something amazing and beautiful happens in life that you never expected?

Just when life delivers a blow that feels like it will be the end of you, turns out it actually helped unravel a little bit more of who you really are.

One moment a tidal wave of change turns you life upside down into something you hardly recognize, but then strangely provides a clearing for you to create the life you really wanted in the first place.

Sometimes life is a path of self-destruction, a course of sabotaging your relationship with yourself and others… that is, until you finally crack, break, and hit rock-bottom from where your journey of true healing begins.

And just when everything you were so certain of in life, everything you placed your trust, faith and security in comes crashing to the ground, but then one day sifting through the rubble of your life you find a couple pieces to put together in a different way, add a few new pieces and you’re on your way to building something new, filled with possibilities.

And yes, there are those gut-wrenching moments when life strikes you down with a heartache so deep that feels you can never recover from, but then there’s that song, breeze, sunset, hug, or something you catch out of the corner of your eye that mysteriously let’s you know you’re going to be okay… and you laugh even as the tears of heartache fall.

Do you see what I’m getting at here? There is a time for everything – that’s the bad news… that’s the good news.

Life!

Sometimes you mourn, sometimes you dance.

Sometimes it feels like it’s all getting away from you, sometimes it comes together in ways you never imagined were possible.

Sometimes you give your heart, sometimes you withhold it.

Sometimes you search, sometimes you give up.

You hold one, you let go.

Sometimes you’re the one delivering the blow, sometimes you’re the one applying the balm.

Sometimes you break the silence, sometimes you step back and say nothing.

Do you see?

Stretch out a continuum between love and hate, between peace and war, and realize that you will not be spared. Life – you can run but you can’t hide. Sometimes you’re the one instigating it, sometimes it is callously and randomly thrust upon you without your choosing.

But I’m asking you to keep the faith. You’ve heard it said, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” But what I’m telling you is that everything is okay right now! Everything is truly okay in this moment, and in the next moment, and in the next. You’re saying, “Not sure what definition of ‘okay’ you’re using here!!”

All I can tell you is that in every moment of your life everything is okay in a way that only you can discover and know for yourself. I’m just asking you to have a little faith that okay is always there for you to find. In the living and dying, loving and hating, laughing and crying, dancing and mourning, tearing and mending, brokenness and building… it will be there. Sometimes you’ll have to fight for it or be still enough to hear it or feel it but it will be there. Like a light breeze across your face, something will mysteriously whisper that you are loved, and tell you the story of how goodness and beauty prevail.”

- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Religion-Free Bible

You see it don’t you?

You see it don’t you? Just look. Notice the workings of the entire universe. There is birth, death, and rebirth.

The fundamental nature of all things is the image, likeness and being of God. It is the underlying and unchanging essence of all things. That essence took on a mind, body and personality in Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus was born, grew and evolved, died, and was reborn. The true essence of his being is alive in us. To say that Jesus died is a bit misleading. It is true that his mind, body and personality stopped functioning but the underlying essence of Jesus never ceased to be, and is alive right now, and constitutes the ground of our being.

Jesus said, “I am the truth.” That truth includes the characteristic of impermanence that is true of all things that appear in our world and universe. The human mind, body and personality and anything they create in the phenomenal world are all characterized by impermanence. They are born, change, and ultimately go away in their present form. We suffer as a result of our attachments in the world. What I mean by “attachment” is that we take things that are characterized by impermanence and expect/depend on them to be permanent. We imbue them with a power they don’t have, and cling to them in ways that cause us suffering.

The fact that the world is this way is not a problem. The only problem is our failure or unwillingness to see this truth.

But it is also true that the underlying essence of all things is permanent and unchanging. For example, the Scriptures say, “God is love.” When we lose someone who was a special and cherished expression of love, we naturally experience the pain of loss. And yet, love itself does not die. Love is permanent. It may change forms but there is never a net loss of love in the universe. Why? Because love is part of the underlying essence of all things – the image, likeness, being and nature of God at the center of all things, and the source of our true and ultimate well-being.

Depression is not a “spiritual problem”.

According to the World Health Organization:

1. Depression is a common mental disorder.

2. Globally, more than 350 million people of all ages suffer from depression.

3. Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

4. More women are affected by depression than men.

5. At its worst, depression can lead to suicide.

6. There are effective treatments for depression.

According to the Centers of Disease control:

1. 1 in every 10 Americans suffer from depression.

2. The number of people who are diagnosed with depression increases 20% each year.

3. People who have major depressive disorder are the leading cause of disability in the U.S. for ages 15 – 44.

4. 60% – 80% of depression can be treated with medication and psychotherapy.

5. 80% of people are not being treated who have depression.

How depression feels as described by some:

“I’m tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I’ve been smiling, but inside I’m dying.”

“Maybe one day it will be okay again. That’s all I want. I don’t care what it takes. I just want to be okay again.”

“I guess there comes a point where you just have to stop trying because it hurts too much to hold on anymore.”

“How can you understand me when I can’t understand myself?”

“What do you do when you become too scared, too scared to live, to scared to die, too scared to love, too scared to even care.”

“I’m often silent when I am screaming inside.”

“No more joy. No more sadness. No emotion. Only madness. I can’t see. I don’t feel. I can’t touch. I don’t heal.”

“It’s an interesting feeling, really, to scroll through all the numbers in your phone, and realize that there is no one who will understand.”

“Someday I’ll fly away.”

“Do you ever lay in bed at night hoping you wake up in the emergency room and hear the words, “she’s not going to make it.”

“How can you hide from what never goes away?”

“I’m freezing, I’m starving, I’m bleeding to death, Everything’s Fine.”

Major depression is a common and treatable mental disorder. If you or someone you love struggles with depression, it’s important to seek out help. You can begin exploring how to get help at this site -> http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

Every human being is born out of the image, likeness and being of God. The image likeness and being of God is the underlying, unchanging and fundamental essence of who you are. That You cannot be improved upon or diminished, and is never threatened. You were also given a mind and body for the human journey. That mind and body is impacted and conditioned through a lifetime of experiences, circumstances, situations, conditions, relationships, and choices. We all are impacted and conditioned by many things that are outside our control.

If you cut your hand open, you would go to the hospital or doctor for stitches and not think twice about it. But too often people put mental disorders in a different category and choose not to seek professional help. I wish I could convince people that there is no difference between slicing your hand open, breaking your leg, high blood pressure, reflux, allergies, and depression. What I mean by saying there is no difference is that they all are a condition of the mind and body and to do what the situation requires in each case is to seek professional help and treatment.

Of course, our attitudes and ways of being in life have an overall impact on our lives as a whole. For example, we know that stress, lack of self-care, or any destructive habits in our lives, can be detrimental to our physical and mental health. But having said that, please realize that the notion that reading the Bible more, positive thinking, having correct beliefs, trying harder, lifestyle changes, or spiritual enlightenment is a solution to depression is erroneous thinking. Would they be the solution to a sliced hand, broken leg, high blood pressure or allergies? Of course not. Same with depression.

Let me be as clear as possible. Depression is not a “spiritual problem” or a sign that you are somehow failing God. Our life is our spiritual path, and we live it by responding to situation as they require. For some, that situation requires you seeking professional support for depression. That is spiritual enlightenment! It’s not being attached to false ideas about depression, and simply doing what the situation requires and seeking the help you need.

80% of people are not being treated who have depression. Don’t be part of that statistic! I wrote a chapter in Divine Nobodies about my struggle with depression, and it’s still the chapter in that book that people most write me about.