Jim Palmer's Blog, page 58
November 2, 2013
Compassion for the hurting
I feel compassion tonight for those who have to endure chronic pain. “Chronic pain” is defined as “… pain that lasts longer than six months.” Chronic pain can be mild or excruciating, episodic or continuous, merely inconvenient or totally incapacitating. A very close friend of mine wakes up most days and goes to bed most nights in excruciating chronic pain. I’ve seen the physical and emotional toll it takes on him. I feel sadness for those who experience this day in and day out. I’m guessing that part of the struggle is that others don’t/can’t really get it or understand. It’s one thing to have chronic pain; it’s another thing to feel alone in it. I want to be that friend that is respectfully standing on the edges of your chronic pain – not pretending to understand it – but standing with you in it… caring and wanting you to know you are not forgotten or alone. I’m not standing there as a judge as if you shouldn’t have your pain or could remedy it if you did or believed this or that. I’m not standing there with the thought of fixing something, as if I or anyone could. I’m here only to say that I feel compassion and empathy for your pain. I wish I could take it away but in lieu of that I will walk through it with you.
November 1, 2013
5 ways to free yourself today
5 ways today to be a friend to that part of you that desires freedom, peace, healing, wholeness, and full self-expression:
1. Choose pleasure.
Part of the problem is that we deny ourselves on the level of pleasure. You’d be surprised to find what opens up for you from an indulgence with pleasure. What would bring you delight today?
2. Give pleasure.
The next best thing to feeling pleasure is stimulating it in others. It satisfies something important in us to be the source of delight and pleasure for others. How could you bring pleasure to someone else today?
3. Express yourself creatively.
We may not all be artistic, but we are all creative. We all have a right brain. Creative self-expression nurtures a part of who we are like nothing else can. What would it mean for you to express yourself creatively today?
4. Explore.
We operate too much in all the stuff we already know. What about the stuff we don’t? Is there a trail you have never hiked? A film you have never seen? A style of music you’re unfamiliar with? A subject you’d be interested in knowing more about? A place in your community or city you have never been?
5. Just be.
We are not human doings, we are human BEINGS. What about doing a little more being today? What about going back to bed with your partner and just laying in each others arms and enjoying physical touch together? Get down on the floor with your dog or cat and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine through the window with them. Connect with your furry significant other.
What kinds of things work for you when it comes to feeding and friending the deeper parts of you?
October 31, 2013
Looking for a brightly-lit front porch
“There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.”
~Robert Brault
October 30, 2013
If I were Superman
Feeling compassion right now for those who just want to be loved for who they are, but are starting to wonder if this will ever happen. It pains me to think of the person out there who is asking “What is wrong with me?” because they rarely feel like it’s okay and safe to think their thoughts, feel their feelings, and just be their authentic and unedited selves. I feel a great sadness for the hiders, pretenders, and fakers who are exhausted trying to measure up to the expectations of others. I feel compassion for each person who feels trapped inside feelings of loneliness and not belonging.
If I were Superman, I’d flash my cape across your eyes and you’d suddenly see the marvel and magic of who you are. All those feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness would disintegrate, and you’d stand confidently in the magnificence of who you are. You would occupy and inhabit yourself fully and unapologetically.
That’s what this world needs…you being you… all of you… just you… and only you.
Hey. There’s nothing wrong with you! You’re not the only one that feels this stuff. Everyone is scared shitless of being themselves because they are afraid it won’t be enough or they might find find they are defective or inadequate. You’d be surprised to know just how many hiders, pretenders and fakers you came across today.
I’ve got a proposition for you. If you’ll be you, I’ll be me, and we’ll just let the chips fall where they may. We all need you to be you, because we need to be us… too.
There’s always gonna be the haters, judgers, criticizers and condemners. That’s when you drive your car in the I-don’t-give-a-damn gear! Tell ‘em Superman’s got your back. 
Checking In :)
I wanted to give my blog friends a brief update on a few things.
I have finished up the final draft of my next book, Notes from (Over) the Edge. It will be going through the copyedit process and then published in digital and print versions. I’ll keep you posted on the release date.
There are a few other places you can find me if you’re interested in connecting in a different way:
If you are interested in supporting my work as a spiritual director and independent writer, you can make a contribution to my “Friends of Jim Palmer” PayPal link
If what I share on my blog or other social media sites, or if you have found my books meaningful for your spiritual journey, consider supporting the cause through my PayPal link. Thanks
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“YOU are supposed to be here.
There was always supposed to be YOU.
That other person you have created and prop up for the world to see is an imposter. That other person you think you were supposed to be, or told you should be, or convinced yourself you needed to be, or that you determined would be better or make others happier… is a lie.
That’s not really you.
YOU are supposed to be here.
There was always supposed to be YOU.
That you needs to see the light of day – the light of your acceptance. Thinking you are flawed, defective, ugly, unlovable, incurably broken, and beyond hope and that God also sees YOU this way … is a lie.
That’s not really you.
YOU are supposed to be here.
There was always supposed to be YOU.
By now that you has become buried beneath layers of judgment, hurt, rejection, self-protection, and self-condemnation. But this world needs the you that is tuly the way you are.
Not a made up you, or fake you, or should you because
that’s not really you.
YOU are supposed to be here.
There was always supposed to be YOU.
You have the courage and power to free you and be you.
There is only one YOU. Who YOU are is God’s gift to you. Who YOU are is your gift to the world. That YOU is good. That YOU is beautiful. That YOU is loved, worthy, and wanted. And that’s no lie; it’s the truth.
That is the real YOU.”
- Jim Palmer
It’s a story you carry about yourself
“The truth is that you are perfect and complete as you are. You were created this way – it’s who you’ve always been and always will be. In every moment you meet every condition for being worthy of love and acceptance by simply being you. I know it’s difficult to get this in a world that is continually sending you the message there is something wrong, deflective, flawed or inadequate about who you are. It’s a story you carry about yourself that you think is real and so you play the part every day. We will never shed these stories that separate us from ourselves until we start relating to each other in the reality of who we really are. Start with yourself! The great opportunity of your life is to grow up and become who you really are in this world. There’s nothing preventing that but you.”
- Titus 2:11-12 RFB
October 29, 2013
Life sucks and then you… live?
So, there’s that despairing view of life encapsulated in the popular idiom, “Life sucks and then you die.” Hmm… what to do. The dictionary says that “sucks” is “an expression of disappointment.” Okay, well then, life does sucks at times. Like, TOTALLY sucks!
But is life supposed to suck? And if so, how much? And if “life sucks” is the human condition, are we supposed to embrace this or transcend it or both or neither? It seems like life sucks sometimes because the human condition is one of limitations.
Hear me out.
Seems like I have limitations. For example, physical limitations. I’m pretty sure I’ll never bench press 1,000 pounds or run a 1-minute mile. I have mental limitations. I’m pretty sure I’ll never be a Quantum Physicist. I even have emotional limitations. So far, I’ve not been able to maintain a continuous state of good feelings. Sometimes my feelings are good, sometimes there are yucky. Not only that, everything seems subject to change. People change, relationships change, beliefs change, pets die… like almost everything is subject to change. It just seems patently obvious, the human condition has limitations. Good luck trying to “have it all,” there is no “all” here because there are limitations.
And, what if that’s the way it’s supposed to be? Let’s say hypothetically there are many different dimensions. If you are reading this post, you are now in the human one. And, by the way, the human one has limitations. It’s not really a thing to judge as “good” or “bad” – it’s just one of those it-is-what-it-is deals.
Seems like religion wants to punch our ticket to heaven to escape the limitations, while spirituality has the expectation that we can transcend these limitations. What if it’s not necessary or desirable to either escape or transcend this human condition of limitations? Take Jesus, his life was not unaffected by these same limitations. There were moments and experiences when he transcended those limitations, and I think there are times and ways we do too, but for the most part it’s a level human playing field that we are all playing on sometimes it seems that life sucks.
Let’s say we aren’t supposed to either escape or transcend our present human limitations.What if peace, joy, contentment, fulfillment and wholeness happen inside the context of our human condition of limitations. Jesus often said, “The kingdom of God has come.” People looked around and scratched their heads because they were assuming that God’s kingdom and the human condition would have to be two totally different and unrelated things. To which Jesus replied, “The kingdom of God is within you.” Maybe we don’t really transcend (as in, unscathed) by the reality of when “life sucks,” but maybe we transform it into something hopeful. Maybe true spirituality is not seeing different things in your life but seeing those things already in your life, differently.
October 28, 2013
How to sabotage your growth journey
Most of my adult life, in one or another, I’ve been involved in the growth journey and transformation of people’s lives. Speaking from my own personal experience and the lives of others, I’ve spotted a few things us human beings do that prevent transformation and keep us from having what we want. Here are a few below. I added a question to each one for you to ponder in light of your own journey these days.
1. We take on a victim mentality.
What unhappiness or lack of fulfillment in your life are you blaming on someone else or your circumstances?
2. We don’t take action.
Thinking about what you want and verbalizing what you want is good. AND you have to DO SOMETHING with that intention. What actions are you putting into your intentions?
3. We play it safe.
Where in life do you need to be unreasonable in terms of a breakthrough in the kind of life you want?
4. We don’t fight for it.
Transformation doesn’t show up on a silver platter. It’s simple but it’s difficult. Where do you need to get your game-face on when it comes to creating the life you want?
5. We try to go it alone.
It’s your blind spots that hold you back. YOU CAN’T SEE IT? Who are you going to enroll in these new possibilities you want for yourself? Who are you going to invite to be part of your transformation journey?
6. We don’t have compassion on ourselves.
When are you going to learn that condemning yourself is what’s actually preventing the transformation you want?
7. We aren’t authentic.
Are you more interested in looking good?
8. We don’t resource our transformation. Let me see your checkbook and schedule, and I’ll tell you how serious you are about the life you SAY you want.
Where do you need to invest time, energy and financial resources in creating the life you want?
9. We are uninspired or not motivated.
What would truly motivate and inspire you about your life and the life you could have?
10. We think transformation is about the breakthrough.
A breakthrough is a very small part of transformation. Just as important (probably more important) are the breakdowns, mistakes, “failures,” frustrations, struggles, etc. What struggle do you need to own as part of your growth and transformation?
October 27, 2013
You can’t figure out God (maybe we should stop trying)
Since the beginning, humankind has been trying to figure out God. Numerous religions currently exist, even denominations and factions within the same religion, all claiming to have the correct understanding or interpretation of God. And yet most religions agree that God is a mystery and can’t be comprehended definitively.
If this is true, what is the value of pouring our energies into understanding, comprehending, and determining the correct view of God? And further still, devising a system of beliefs and practices based on this understanding? Would this make sense if your starting premise was that God is a mystery and beyond comprehension? Wouldn’t that be like saying, “I know I can’t jump high enough to touch the moon, but I’m going to keep trying anyway.”
Further still, where did the premise of trying to figure out God come from? Does God expect or desire this of us? Does God want us to pour ourselves into determining this correct understanding? Was it all meant to be about increased comprehension? Are there any clues in Jesus? Did Jesus focus people on the task of unraveling the mystery of God? Did Jesus encourage people to develop a comprehensive understanding and belief system about God?
Yesterday I experienced deep feelings of love and peace and connectedness and intimacy and acceptance and joy. Is it possible that this experience was all the “God” I need to “know.”At the time I felt no inclination to understand or comprehend anything more than what I was experiencing in the moment. Trying to further conceptualize it in some way to fit some certain comprehension of God seemed more of a distraction than a value added.
So, I’m wondering what would happen if we became less concerned about figuring things out and comprehending God, and instead became more in tune with those deep feelings of life within us, whenever and however they happen. Maybe the premise of comprehension was never meant to be the focus. Jesus seemed to keep it pretty simple, even using children as an example to follow. A child enjoys the moment and isn’t terribly analytical about any of it. Maybe these deep feelings and the responses they stimulate and inspire is the kingdom of God and no further analysis is needed.
I’m not meaning to discount any person’s search for truth , including the desire to understand and comprehend God. This isn’t one of those, “the intellect is worthless, only ignorant people try to comprehend God, blah, blah, blah…” I’m just thinking out loud here about where we place our focus and why.
What would it look like to let go of the need to understand and comprehend God, and instead to simply be present in the experience of God’s kingdom with no further need to comprehend or explain it? Like, what if that was enough and that was the way it was meant to be? No need to formulate concepts about it, no need to locate some place within a coherent belief system to authenticate or justify it, no need to judge it, understand it, or analyze it.
Jesus once said that knowing his truth resulted in living freely and unencumbered. Jesus invited the “weary and burdened” to come to him and find that “yoke is easy and burden is light.” Maybe Jesus was referring to freedom from the wearing and burdening weight of religion, and it’s insistence upon figuring it out.
October 26, 2013
17 Signposts About Shedding Religion And Moving Forward
17 Signposts About Shedding Religion And Moving Forward:
1. Make peace with your religious past.
2. Take responsibility for your spiritual journey.
3. Dissolve the line between “sacred” and “secular”.
4. Listen to and trust your inner voice.
5. Look past the labels and differences, and relate to the deepest reality in other human beings.
6. Your humanity is not an obstacle to but a vehicle of then truth of who you are.
7. Don’t strive to achieve or build a persona around being an enlightened person or spiritually superior.
8. Become a geologian – exploring the rhythm and flow of life in relationship to the phenomena of the physical world.
9. Expand what it means to be “present” – explore your spiritual aura and energy.
10. Address the root of your suffering.
11. Awaken and live from your inner passion.
12. Explore the connection between spirituality and sexuality.
13. Expand your relational world beyond religious sub-culture.
14. Don’t create a new religion out of your latest discovery.
15. Assume every human being knows something you need to know.
16. Don’t latch onto the latest guru – learn from everybody but consider yourself to be your own guru.
17. Read something other than spiritual/religious books.
