Jim Palmer's Blog, page 2

Untangling the "God relationship" problem

Shedding religion is typically a volatile but liberating experience. Many of the religious beliefs and practices that people leave behind open new doors for personal growth, and a more authentic and meaningful spirituality. It can also leave a void. Some people express missing the closeness and intimacy they once felt with God. For example, “relationship with God” was the centerpiece for many people involved in Christianity. The idea is based on the premise that God is a person/human-like being and relates to people directly and individually through the avenue of interpersonal relationship, which includes elements such as two-way communication, the expression of love and caring, and a mutually satisfying and intimate closeness. Over the years there has been many people who have shared with me their feelings of failure and shame because they were not able to experience "relationship with God" in ways that were described or told they should. Christians often use the phrase, "Christianity is not a religion but a relationship." In my view, telling people that a person can relate and interact with God like two human beings interact and relate to one another can be misleading and damaging. I cannot, for example, relate to or interact with animals, the stars, flowers, music, or the sunset in the exact same way I relate to or interact with my best friend. I would think it would be patently obvious that two human beings interacting and relating could not be replicated by one human being interacting with a non-material reality. This possibility is held out in Theism in which God is presented as a person-like being, and expressed through anthropomorphism in the Bible. People report having all kinds of different religious and spiritual experiences, but it's a whole other thing to tell people that they "should" be able to relate to and interact with "God" in the same way they might relate to their best friend and that this is the litmus test for true Christianity/spirituality. I have seen the damage this mentality has done in people's lives. I enjoy and find deep meaning in the different ways I relate to life in all its many different expressions. Our religious and spiritual experiences are unique to each of us, and we shouldn't afflict people with our should's. God isn't a "papa" in the same way as your earthly father, the Holy Spirit is not your "lover," and Jesus is not your "boyfriend." And that's okay.People who shed religion often deconstruct their idea of “God” in a way that no longer makes “personal relationship with God” a reasonable proposition. However, it should be noted that even the Bible itself refers to God as spirit, and many people understand that the anthropomorphic descriptions of God in the scriptures are not meant to be taken literally. This discussion begs the question of the veracity of the “personal relationship” experiences people purport to have with God. The options are: 1. God is a human/person-like being and these experiences are real. 2. God is not a human/person-like being and these experiences are imagined or fabricated. 3. God is not a human/person-like being but these experiences are real and valid to the person.A further explanation of #3 is that people equate spiritual experiences of love, peace, serenity, comfort and belonging as an encounter with a human/person-like God. People are taught to seek these experiences through practices such as prayer, Bible study, other spiritual disciplines and church worship. In the context of these experiences, people often have feelings of peace, belonging, comfort and love.Regardless of whether these feelings are the result of a direct encounter and experience with a personal God, it is real to them. In other words, in those moments when people have these meaningful and profound inner experiences, they take them as God directly and personally relating to them.The purpose of this post is not to judge whether a person’s God-experiences are real or not real. One cannot prove or disprove the existence of God, which means you can’t prove or disprove one’s experiences of God.This post is for people who no longer believe in the notion of God as a person or human-like being, and feel a void because they were conditioned into having their core emotional needs being met within the framework of “personal relationship with God,” which they no longer believe exists.An alternative is to open oneself to deeply meaningful and profound experiences of love, serenity, peace, comfort, connection and belonging along the everyday paths of life. These can be felt through everyday experiences if a person is present and open to them in any given moment. I enjoy photography and have found that the most ordinary scenes or subjects can produce a sense of joy, beauty, wonder, serenity and a deep sense of connection with other humans, nature, the universe and all living things.I have found that the source of love, peace and wholeness is not a supernatural human-like religious God up in the sky who comes to me in the form of an interpersonal relationship. Instead, I have found that the most sacred, divine, deeply meaningful and profound experiences I have, come to me as a natural part of my human experience. Jesus himself blurred the lines between what is “divine” and what is “human.” He said he was both simultaneously. Whatever “God” is or could be, it’s not a religious compartment or located in some being up in the sky or separate from my experiences as a human being.The possibility of these experiences is always available, and the deciding factor has to do with my openness, and awareness of how life comes to me in the present moment. Having said that, we can get carried away with some elaborate explanation about how to “be present in the moment.” It's not that complicated. We can also falsely assume that life should be one love or serenity experience after another. That’s not real. Life is also sadness, sorrow, hardship and difficulty. They are also the human moments that shape and deepen us.These kinds of matters often come up in the work I do with people who are transitioning out of religion. In many cases, their lives were damaged through an assortment of toxic religious beliefs and mindsets. Spiritual abuse and religious trauma is an unfortunate reality for many people. If you are one of those people and want to know more about the religion recovery work I do, send me an email at jimpalmerauthor@gmail.com Breaking free from a toxic religious background is one of the most difficult things a person will ever do. You don't have to walk this path alone. I created the Life After Religion Course to support and guide people through the process of recovering from spiritual abuse and harmful religious indoctrination. The course subjects include: making peace with your religious past; dealing with relationship fallout; undoing religious pathology; navigating spiritual crisis; new ways of approaching life's existential questions; cultivating new mindsets for personal liberation; exploring what spirituality is for you Visit this link to learn more and enroll.

How religion impedes personal development

1st Century Greek historian, Diodorus Siculus, in his monumental universal history Bibliotheca historica, wrote, “It is to the interest of states to be deceived in religion.” Roman historian, Livy, wrote in admiration of Numa Pompilius, the second king of Rome, who “introduced the fear of the gods as the most efficacious means of controlling an ignorant and barbarous populace.” Roman philosopher, Seneca, added, “Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” And English philosopher, William Hazlitt, wrote, “The garb of religion is the best cloak for power.” There are always two equally participating parties in a lie – the person who tells the lie and the person who believes it. Even as religion has been a means of control over people, it has also offered something people want. The well-known line of Karl Marx states, “Religion is the opium of the people.” Marx believed that religion had certain practical functions in society that were similar to the function of opium in a sick or injured person: it reduced people's immediate suffering and provided them with pleasant illusions, but it also reduced their energy and their willingness to confront the oppressive, heartless, and soulless reality that capitalism had forced them into. Religion offers an escape from a grim and grinding world, typically caused by an oppressive ruling class. Religion tells people that God loves them as his own children, how he is in control of all things, will provide for and protect them, and how the faithful have a future eternal life of perfect happiness in Heaven. Russian revolutionary, Mikhail Bakunin, wrote, “People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy.” But for those few hours of escape, religion commits the greatest injustice against humankind by corroding the part of us that is capable of accessing what human beings most deeply want and need. American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, developed the notion of the “hierarchy of needs,” which uses a triangle to convey the layers of fundamental needs all human beings have. On the bottom of the triangle are safety and security needs such as basic human survival, personal and financial security, health and well-being, and safety against illness and oppression. Maslow next identified needs of love, belonging and a stable self-respect and self-esteem. Nearing the top of the hierarchy, Maslow said human beings ultimately desire self-actualization and self-transcendence – reaching one’s full potential as an individual person, and meaningful engagement with a reality greater than oneself. For a human being to consciously direct their lives in order to meet these essential needs they would have to have a strong sense of self-worth, self-trust and self-reliance. But these are the exact qualities that religion too often strips away from a person. Throughout history, religion has repeatedly discouraged people from thinking for themselves, dissuaded them from questioning what they’ve been told, and discredited their ability to direct their own lives. Religion weakens people’s relationship with themselves, and replaces it with a dependency on a particular belief-system, and the leaders and organization that represents it. Religion has often used this arrangement to control people and further its own self-serving ends. For example, the Christian religion inflicted a deep wound upon humankind with the lie that human beings are born bad. The doctrine of original sin teaches that all people are born with a sinful nature. No idea has more influenced and shaped the course of Western Civilization than this falsehood. You don’t have to be a Christian to have been impacted by it. It’s in the water. The underlying assumption that pervades all of society is that people when left to themselves naturally do evil and destructive things. These ideas keep the Christian religion in business. Christianity manufactured a problem that doesn’t exist and established itself as the cure. Jesus, the Bible and the church are held out as the remedy to humankind’s hopeless condition. Jesus paid the price for humankind’s sin, the only means by which one can gain eternal life. The Bible is God’s one-and-only word to humankind, the revelation of his will. And the church is the authority to represent and interpret both Jesus and the Bible. The church holds the carrot and the stick to control the masses. Belief and obedience are rewarded by God’s blessing and heaven (carrot). Unbelief and disobedience result in misery and eternal damnation (stick). The effect of the original sin doctrine is human repression. Human repression is a state in which a person is prevented from validating and expressing his or her humanity. What I mean by “humanity” are one’s natural thoughts and feelings that occur spontaneously in response to the world around us. Since its inception Institutional Christianity has been vilifying people’s humanity. It has cast a wide shadow of shame, leaving the masses with the belief that there is something fundamentally and intrinsically wrong with who we are. We doubt ourselves. We fear ourselves. We doubt and fear each other.There are several characteristics of religion that can hinder the process of personal growth, maturation, and self-actualization: 1. The “old is gone and the new has come”-mentality can be used as permission to not squarely confront, face, and address the painful or unresolved issues of your past that continue to impact your present life and relationships. 2. The premise that people are inherently bad, born “sinners,” and rejected by God can greatly diminish one’s worth and value, and relationship with self. 3. The tendency to focus on externals, appearances, and change as behavior modification/morality can distract a person from digging deep enough into the layers of who they are, which is necessary for growth and transformation. 4. Seeking/expecting God’s “intervention” in one’s life can cause a kind of passivity where a person doesn’t take responsibility or action in ways they are necessary for growth and transformation. 5. Meeting-based and surface-level relationships, which sometimes characterize institutional church, can often lack the depth, honesty, authenticity and vulnerability that we need in our relationships to support our growth and transformation. 6. The separatist mentality of religious sub-culture can cut people off from connection and relationship with others outside that sub-culture, which significantly limits the people who could contributing to our journey of growth and transformation.Religion doesn't have to be this way. It could embrace the inherent worth and dignity of every person; inspire the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all; encourage the free and responsible search for truth and meaning; practice justice, equity and compassion in human relations; and empower and equip people toward realizing their fullest potentialities and possibilities. Yes, it could do this; it just doesn't have a great track record of doing so.

Is there a writer in you trying to get out?

Is there a writer in you wanting to come out?I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has said to me over the years that they had a story to tell or something in their heart and spirit that they wanted to write. I wonder how many of them actually did. Perhaps self-doubt crept in. Maybe they didn’t know where or how to begin. The idea of being a “writer” can seem overwhelming and intimidating.I understand. That was me in 2005. Six published books later, I’ve learned some things about writing – how and where to begin, how to develop a plan for completing a writing project, and most importantly how to give birth in words to what you are carrying in your heart.Maya Angelou wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Stephen King added, “Sometimes stories cry out to be told in such loud voices that you write them just to shut them up.” People have stories inside of them that are meant to be told. Sometimes that story is deeply personal – like stories of heartache, loss, transformation and liberation. Sometimes the story shows up in the form of a profound understanding or expertise in areas such as relationships, spirituality, healing, creativity and authentic living. Other times it’s a story we have a fire inside to tell, even if it’s not our story specifically except for the mark it made on us. And then there are times when a story is born out of one’s imagination, where people and plots come alive and dance together in mysterious, enchanting, gripping ways that awaken, inspire, unlock, embolden us and make us look deeper.Writing and publishing a book is not as exclusionary, mysterious or impossible proposition that people are often led to believe. From writing and publishing my own books and coaching other writers over the years, I developed a simple system any person can follow to write and publish a book. The process is not rocket science. That doesn't mean it is easy, but it's not difficult because it's complicated. Repeat after me: I can do this!I have found that most people greatly underestimate their ability to express themselves in words and simply need some guidance and support to do it. A few ways I have worked with writers include:• Creating a statement of intention for a writing project, and determining the essential parameters of fulfilling the project.• Exploring what it means to write in integrity with ourselves, expressing our authentic personality, thoughts, feelings, and experiences, as well as determining what it means to complete the project in integrity.• Establishing a book structure that effectively supports the intention of the writing project.• Determining and incorporating self-care practices that nurture the inner life and creativity of the writer.• Establishing a writing rhythm and schedule that supports the process of: writing content; submitting content for input and feedback; and having interaction and discussion about it.• Investigating the possibilities and alternatives for publishing a book.I created the Letting the Words Out Writing Course The course is designed for any person who has an interest in expressing themselves through the written word, and has a writing project in mind that they would like to work on. The key components of the workshop include:* Giving definition to a particular writing project for each workshop member, and achieving a 6-week goal related to that project* Three 60-minute coaching calls with Jim for each workshop member about your writing project* A weekly writing assignment related to your writing project*This is a self-paced experience; complete the coursework at a pace that works best for you. Each module in the course will include a lecture video and a corresponding activity or assignment. These modules build on one another and so it is important that you fully complete the assignments for each module before moving on to the next oneHow to register for the Letting the Words Out Writer's WorkshopThe total cost for the course is $210, and each member is added to Jim's private Facebook Writer's Group, which is a community of writers who have or are working with Jim on major writing projects. To register today, please visit the link below.https://tinyurl.com/y9knar2w

The wound of religion

1st Century Greek historian, Diodorus Siculus, in his monumental universal history Bibliotheca historica, wrote, “It is to the interest of states to be deceived in religion.” Roman historian, Livy, wrote in admiration of Numa Pompilius, the second king of Rome, who “introduced the fear of the gods as the most efficacious means of controlling an ignorant and barbarous populace.” Roman philosopher, Seneca, added, “Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” And English philosopher, William Hazlitt, wrote, “The garb of religion is the best cloak for power.”There are always two equally participating parties in a lie – the person who tells the lie and the person who believes it. Even as religion has been a means of control over people, it has also offered something people want. The well-known line of Karl Marx states, “Religion is the opium of the people.” Marx believed that religion had certain practical functions in society that were similar to the function of opium in a sick or injured person: it reduced people's immediate suffering and provided them with pleasant illusions, but it also reduced their energy and their willingness to confront the oppressive, heartless, and soulless reality that capitalism had forced them into.Religion offers an escape from a grim and grinding world, typically caused by an oppressive ruling class. Religion tells people that God loves them as his own children, how he is in control of all things, will provide for and protect them, and how the faithful have a future eternal life of perfect happiness in Heaven. Russian revolutionary, Mikhail Bakunin, wrote, “People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy.”But for those few hours of escape, religion commits the greatest injustice against humankind by corroding the part of us that is capable of accessing what human beings most deeply want and need. American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, developed the notion of the “hierarchy of needs,” which uses a triangle to convey the layers of fundamental needs all human beings have. On the bottom of the triangle are safety and security needs such as basic human survival, personal and financial security, health and well-being, and safety against illness and oppression. Maslow next identified needs of love, belonging and a stable self-respect and self-esteem. Nearing the top of the hierarchy, Maslow said human beings ultimately desire self-actualization and self-transcendence – reaching one’s full potential as an individual person, and meaningful engagement with a reality greater than oneself. For a human being to consciously direct their lives in order to meet these essential needs they would have to have a strong sense of self-worth, self-trust and self-reliance. But these are the exact qualities that religion too often strips away from a person. Throughout history, religion has repeatedly discouraged people from thinking for themselves, dissuaded them from questioning what they’ve been told, and discredited their ability to direct their own lives. Religion weakens people’s relationship with themselves, and replaces it with a dependency on a particular belief-system, and the leaders and organization that represents it. Religion has often used this arrangement to control people and further its own self-serving ends. For example, the Christian religion inflicted a deep wound upon humankind with the lie that human beings are born bad. The doctrine of original sin teaches that all people are born with a sinful nature. No idea has more influenced and shaped the course of Western Civilization than this falsehood. You don’t have to be a Christian to have been impacted by it. It’s in the water. The underlying assumption that pervades all of society is that people when left to themselves naturally do evil and destructive things. These ideas keep the Christian religion in business. Christianity manufactured a problem that doesn’t exist and established itself as the cure. Jesus, the Bible and the church are held out as the remedy to humankind’s hopeless condition. Jesus paid the price for humankind’s sin, the only means by which one can gain eternal life. The Bible is God’s one-and-only word to humankind, the revelation of his will. And the church is the authority to represent and interpret both Jesus and the Bible. The church holds the carrot and the stick to control the masses. Belief and obedience are rewarded by God’s blessing and heaven (carrot). Unbelief and disobedience result in misery and eternal damnation (stick). The effect of the original sin doctrine is human repression. Human repression is a state in which a person is prevented from validating and expressing his or her humanity. What I mean by “humanity” are one’s natural thoughts and feelings that occur spontaneously in response to the world around us. Since its inception Institutional Christianity has been vilifying people’s humanity. It has cast a wide shadow of shame, leaving the masses with the belief that there is something fundamentally and intrinsically wrong with who we are. We doubt ourselves. We fear ourselves. We doubt and fear each other.A.C. Grayling wrote, “That is one of the reasons why religion has survived into the modern world: it tells people what to think and do, gratifying their reluctance to make the effort, or to take the risk, of achieving self-understanding and on that basis choosing a course that would be a fulfilling expression of their individual talents for living well. In wanting a quick answer to ‘what should I do, how should I live?’ people grab a one-size-fits-all model from a shelf in the ideas supermarket, and leave it at that.”Religion doesn't have to be this way. It could embrace the inherent worth and dignity of every person; inspire the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all; encourage the free and responsible search for truth and meaning; practice justice, equity and compassion in human relations; and empower and equip people toward realizing their fullest potentialities and possibilities. Yes, it could do this; it just doesn't have a great track record of doing so.

How to write yourself into a better life

What if you could write yourself into your best life? I have written six books and the process of creating each of them has been transformative and life-changing. You do not have to be an author to benefit from the liberating and transformative power of the writen word. I created the Use Your Words Workshop for any person interested in harnessing the craft of writing as a catalyst for personal growth, and development. These are the five kinds of writing we explore in the Use Your Words Workshop:Introspective writing Creative writing (fiction) Op-ed writing (non-fiction) Memoir writing Private letters writingThe five week journey will cover a unique style each week. You do not have to be an expert to participate; the workshop's focus is to examine the depths and layers of your life through the craft of writing.The next session runs from September 24th through October 27th. There is a limited number of spots available. Registration is based on a first come first serve basis. Learn more about the details and enroll today! Visit this THIS LINK

Be careful what you ask for (the truth about transformation)

"Are you interested in a transformed life - a whole, liberated, meaningful, and fulfilled life?" "Of course, yes!" "Are you willing to take full responsibility for your life - to no longer blame people or circumstances or lay the responsibility and burden of your happiness on others? Will you courageously look in the mirror and get real with yourself and own the ways you are the cause of your own unhappiness? Are you willing to be vulnerable and honest with one of two people you trust about your life? Will you put an end to magical thinking, quick fixes, stopgap measures, and symptom alleviation, and do the personal work of addressing the root causes of your suffering? Are you willing to have conversations of significance with someone who is skilled at offering insight and guidance in your personal growth and development? Will you be resolute in cultivating self-care practices into your daily life? Are you willing to stop looking at yourself through eyes of judgement and condemnation, and offer yourself compassion, patience, forgiveness, acceptance, affirmation and love? Will you make your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health and well-being a top priority? Are you willing to let go of toxic beliefs, mindsets, attitudes, behaviors, people, and relationships that are obstacles to your well-being? Will you do the work to learn new attitudes, skills, practices and tools for living life well? Are you willing to seek professional support or therapy for deeply-rooted wounds, trauma, or destructive patterns you cannot manage or overcome on your own? Will you make amends with the people you have hurt as a result of your woundedness and dysfunction? Are you willing to love yourself enough to slowly but determinedly cultivate and nurture a life of wholeness and happiness?" "So, I ask you again - are you interested in a transformed life - a whole, liberated, meaningful, and fulfilled life?"

Did Buddha and Jesus have the same mother?

Did Buddha and Jesus have the same mother? Of course not. But if you read both accounts and didn't know any better, you might wonder. The Buddha lived 500 years before Jesus. After the Buddha’s passing, a record of what he said was maintained through oral tradition, much the same way that there was an oral tradition about the life and teachings of Jesus. The Pali Canon is one of the earliest of these written records and the only complete early version that has survived intact. The Pali Canon is of noteworthy importance because it is a single cohesive collection of the Buddha’s teachings in his own words. I’ve been reading the Pali Canon and one thing that has jumped out at me has been how the portrayals of the Buddha’s life are quite similar to how the Bible presents Jesus. Some of the similarities include:• A cosmic/divine dimension to the Buddha’s birth whereby the Buddha descends from a heavenly realm into his mother’s womb• A special innocence, blessedness, virtuousness conferred upon the Buddha’s mother• Unique circumstances surrounding his mother’s pregnancy and the Buddha’s birth, born in perfect purity, and celebrated by celestial beings• The Buddha arises in the world for the welfare and liberation of the multitude • The declaration at Buddha’s birth that a great cosmic power, radiance, and light has entered the world• The Buddha as a child grasping the significance of his identity and calling • The Buddha having unparalleled insight, understanding, wisdom, virtue, compassion, and love• The Buddha portrayed in both cosmic/divine/mystical terms, and earthly/human/mundane terms• The Buddha working out the truth of his identity and wisdom in the context of life’s challenges, struggles, and suffering • The Buddha’s experience of enlightenment and the cosmic approval of him and his wisdom as the vehicle/manifestation of salvation in the world • The Buddha imparts his message and teachings to a small group of devoted followers/pupils, and spreads his insights and wisdom among the people as he goes Keep in mind that the Buddha lived 500 years before Jesus. The obvious question would be: What accounts for these similarities? There are at least the following possibilities:1. It was coincidence. Of all the possibilities, I would take this one as the most problematic to believe. 2. The Biblical writers borrowed from the oral tradition about the Buddha to create a more dynamic portrayal of Jesus. This is possible; these oral traditions about Buddha could have been passed along the Silk Road and adopted by Biblical writers. 3. Both Buddha and Jesus are portrayed in part according to an archetype associated with human beings of uncommon, profound, and breakthrough insight, understanding, and wisdom. In other words, there is a collectively-inherited unconscious idea or pattern of thought, that is universally present, in individual psyches. In this case, the archetype would be of the enlightened one/savior. The unconscious idea or pattern would include: • a unique and special birth of the enlightened one/savior into the world, holding cosmic significance• honor, purity, and blessedness bestowed upon the mother• a liberator who arises for the salvation of all• unparalleled in their transcendent and human characteristics• awareness at a young age of their special identity and calling as the enlightened one/savior• following the path of trials, difficulties, hardships and suffering to fulfill their calling• a moment or experience of cosmic enlightenment or liberation• entrusting truths and teachings to a small group of devoted pupils or followersIf you do further digging around you find many of these same themes applied to other religious or spiritual leaders, teachers, and personalities since Jesus. Presumably, if 200 years from now another Buddha/Jesus-esk person comes along, you are likely to find these same themes once again. What exactly does all this mean? Someone might say that it means that religions knowingly and corruptly create fake stories or embellish the truth about their prized guru to establish their superiority. Or, one might say that human beings use a common framework to enshrine the memory, message, and messenger in cases when a person has a profoundly liberating impact upon humankind. By the way, this framework has some useful and inspiring ideas associated with it that are relevant to all of us, including:1. The inexplicable and universal significance of the birth of every human being 2. Esteeming mothers and motherhood as the midwives of liberation and enlightenment 3. The universal and liberative impact of true understanding and wisdom4. A transcendent/spiritual and earthly/practical aspect to living the truth 5. Hardship and suffering as a part of transformation and self-actualization 6. Preserving our best lessons, insights, understandings, and wisdom for generations to come

Deconstruction: Mistakes Not to Repeat

What follows are a few mistakes I’ve made in my spiritual evolution. Referring to these as “mistakes” may be unfair. What I describe below is typical, probably unavoidable, and perhaps even necessary at the time. I refer to them as “mistakes” because they don’t seem to be very productive as a regular practice, and I would not intentionally repeat them again.1. FundamentalismThe term “fundamentalism” is normally associated with religious extremism. It doesn’t just apply to ultra-conservative, fundy Christians. I’ve discovered there are progressive/liberal Christian fundamentalists, Atheist fundamentalists, Buddhist fundamentalists, Muslim fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, New Age fundamentalists, and many more. What I mean by “fundamentalist” is the insistence that one’s belief system, philosophy, understandings or experiences are superior. Religious fundamentalism often leads to the objectification and demonization of the “unbeliever” but there is also a kinder/gentler fundamentalism that is still in the end … fundamentalism.We can create a fundamentalist mindset out of any new understanding, concept, experience, or discovery. We become beholden to our latest epiphany, make it the new standard, and it becomes our new religion. You don't necessarily have to be nasty or belligerent about it but there is still a certain insistence, silent pride and arrogance to it.2. Over-correctionYou are driving down the street and notice you are about to go off the road into a ditch. Your reaction is to grab the wheel and by over-correcting, you fly across the road and off into the ditch on the other side. By avoiding one ditch, you managed to steer right into another. It’s no secret that any person who feels led astray and betrayed by their religion is likely to become it’s biggest critic. A person lives many years under the oppression of religion and in reaction to this, they make all religion wrong. Their new religion is anti-religion. I'm not saying we should not confront the toxicity of religion. However, we should go further than this and live the alternative. In my interfaith involvements in my city, I have met people from many different religious, spiritual and philosophical traditions and belief systems, and have found in our shared humanity a basis for love and solidarity, and a common desire to work together to build a world that works for everyone.3. InsecurityInsecurity can express itself in a strong need for your beliefs and experiences to be validated by others. How do others validate your beliefs and experiences? By agreeing with them. We view the people who don’t agree or share in our beliefs and experiences as a threat to our sense of identity. We feel invalidated. It’s very difficult to truly accept and learn from another as long as your need for validation is running the show. What happens is that you begin dividing people up on sides. You want people on “your side” because that makes you feel secure and validated. People on the “other side” are seen as the enemy. Needing to be “right” is often a issue of insecurity and needing validation from others.4. LazinessI don’t mean for the word to sound as harsh as it might seem. Here’s my point. Most people want a formula or magic bullet. They are not truly willing to do their own due diligence at a soul level, and would prefer someone just give them the answer. They are hoping for a formula that promises that if you do ‘A’ then ‘B’ will happen. Paradox, mystery, ambiguity, abstraction, self-honesty, vulnerability, humility are but a few of the things many people would like to avoid if possible, and would rather just have someone figure things out for them.The question is not whether we will make mistakes; we will. The issue is learning from our mistakes and not repeating them. Your mistakes may be very different from mine. Perhaps in certain cases you didn’t go far enough, or held on to long, or allowed fear to control you. Deconstruction is often a messy and volatile process. For fifteen years I've been working individually with people in recovering from harmful religion, and forging a different path of meaning and fulfillment. I also created a Life After Religion course that guides people through the deconstruction process. You can learn more about these here.

How to write yourself into a better life

What if you could write yourself into your best life? I have written six books and the process of writing each of them has been transformative and life-changing. But you do not have to be an author to benefit from the liberating and transformative power of writing. I created the Use Your Words Workshop for any person interested in harnessing the craft of writing as a catalyst for personal growth, and development. These are the five kinds of writing we explore in the Use Your Words Workshop.©Introspective writing Creative writing (fiction) Op-ed writing (non-fiction) Memoir writing Private letters writingThe 5-week journey will cover a unique style each week. You do not have to be an expert to participate; the workshop's focus is to examine the depths and layers of your life through the craft of writing.The next session runs from July 30th through August 27. There is a limited number of spots available. Registration is based on a first come first serve basis. Learn more about the details and enroll today! Visit this THIS LINK

The antidote of self-awareness

Pop-spirituality often does a disservice in people's desire live whole, meaningful, and fulfilling lives. One of the top notions espoused is being "present in the moment." There's been so much focus, discussion, evaluation, instruction, and coaching about "being present in the moment" that it's damn near impossible for a person to experience the present due to analysis-paralysis truly. Another such concept is "finding yourself." Many people are convinced that the matter of "finding yourself" is the end-all quest that will fix everything in their lives and finally deliver the meaning and fulfillment they've been searching for. Sometimes the find-yourself quest becomes a never-ending wild goose chase... as if there was an objective, defined, unchanging "self" that is hiding or buried inside you that you "find" in the abstract through some process of "looking within." There is no fixed answer to who you are because you are continuously growing and evolving. There are a lot of layers to every person, and some of them are quite messy and confusing.Rather than "finding yourself" in some abstract or spiritual sense, consider knowing yourself better on more practical terms. Rather than trying to find a fixed "self," instead learn to inhabit awareness. In other words, become more aware of yourself in ways that are useful and fulfilling. Replace the search for self with the practice of self-awareness. For example, ask yourself: What brings me pleasure? What do I most value in life? What kind of person do I want to be? I feel most inspired when ...... I feel most joy in my life when .... How can I care for myself better? What do I need to do that I'm not doing? How do I want to grow? How do I add value to other people's lives?Convert your answers into actions. Thoughtfully consider these questions, and take steps to cultivate your responses into your daily life. You may find the benefit of doing this is far greater than sitting atop a mountain trying to find yourself. As a spiritual director and personal growth mentor, one way I work with people is re-framing their life quest and shifting the questions that drive their life. For Spiritual Direction or Personal Growth Guidance visit ->https://www.jimpalmerauthor.com/consu...