Jim Palmer's Blog, page 31

From Christian to Atheist (and other good questions)

This morning I did an AMA (Ask Me Anything) thread on Facebook, and what follows are a few of the questions and my responses. 

(1)

“Jim, this was in my in-box this morning: 

‘If God/Love created the Universe, and if God/Love is in control of said Universe, and God/love created us to share said creation with each other and Him/Her, then why did He create us all so unequally, and physically in our bodies suffering all sorts of blights, and socio-economically born into poverty and suffering? What kind of LOVE does that?’”

*

(My response below…)

“The human world is characterized by impermanence. All things are born into this world, experience change, and ultimately go away or change forms. This characteristic of the human world can be frustrating because we assume that the trick is to be able to control all our life circumstances. But remember that Jesus lived in this same human world and found peace and joy in it just as it was. In this human world there is human pain. If you hit your finger with a hammer, you will have physical pain. If you lose a loved one, you will have emotional pain. No amount of God, spirituality or enlightenment will ever change that kind of natural human pain. However, the kind of suffering you described above is the result of poverty and suffering is a result of our own ignorance and denial of the truth. God did not create the world as a wind-up toy that follows a script. We are each endowed with the divine capacity to create a world of harmony, well-being, love, peace, and freedom. Consider the possibility of turning around the question from “Why does God allow this?” to “Why do we allow this?”

(2)

“Jim, I’m trying to understand the concept of ‘grace’ when my whole idea of ‘God’ has changed.”

*

“I have come to think of “grace” as a truth that says, no person carries the burden to earn or prove their divine worth or value, because it is already inherently, fully, and equally intact without condition for every human being.”

(3)

“Jim, I want to live beyond the matrix. I feel hindered sometimes, and not always sure what the hindrance is. I most times can trust the journey and the next step, but sometimes fear I’ll miss something vital for further growth and enlightenment. Wish I could do more for so many hurting people. Wish I could break through for them. Wish I could change the world…”

*

“Consider the possibility that being enlightened and changing the world has to do with the quality of your next moment. What I mean is, show up in that moment and see things as they really are, respond to each situation as it requires, however mundane it might seem. I know this might be a bit of a challenge to get, but because of the interdependent nature of reality, when you walk in liberation, when you rise above the matrix, when you see things as they truly are, you aid the liberation of all humankind. I wouldn’t worry so much about whether you are missing something vital in your growth and development. It’s likely that right now you already know what is necessary, and if there is something else to know it will appear spontaneously along the everyday paths of life. Take one simple thing you know to be true and be mindful of it today, and you will be changing the world. I promise! People right now are running the streets trying to change, save, and help the world, and yet they themselves are not walking in liberation. This will not work. You be the truth in the next moment. That’s what changes things.”

(4)

“Jim, what happens when we die?”

*

“It can be useful to explore the motivation is behind the question… any question. In this case, why specifically does this question have a hold of you? What’s driving it? Why must you have an answer? If you had the answer, what would it provide for you?”

(5)

“Jim, how can I overcome the need for my grown children to recognize and appreciate the sacrifices I made for them as a single mother? This has been the greatest pain of my life…the way I’ve been treated by my kids.”

*

“There may be no greater human pain than the feelings of not being remembered, recognized, and appreciated by our children, for whom we have loved and give so much of ourselves sacrificially. One thing is for sure, none of us ultimately have control over others – what they think, feel or do, or how they respond to us. Here’s a couple things to consider. First, I personally want to acknowledge you for what you did for your kids. In my book, every single mother is a hero. If it was up to me there would be a separate mother’s day that we celebrated each year called Single Mother’s Day. I don’t know the specifics of all that it meant for you to raise your kids as a single mom, but I want to acknowledge you for the challenges and hardships you endured along the way, and the sacrifices you made. No one will ever fully appreciate the sacrifices you made. Single mothers are some of the most courageous and extraordinary people I have ever known. Sometimes our kids get busy living their lives and don’t reflect on what got them there. Typically, this is not intentional but I know it hurts nonetheless. Secondly, maybe consider the possibility of being honest and sharing your heart and hurt. You are a human being with your own feelings, and it’s okay to express them. Knowing that their indifference may not be intentional, perhaps you could just share the message: I love you; if I had it to do over again I would because I love you; sometimes I feel forgotten like you don’t really appreciate who I tried to be for you as your mom; it would mean a lot to me to know that you see me and appreciate me; I don’t need the whole world to stand up and cheer, but your recognition means more to me than the whole world.”

(6)

“Jim, since the veil has been lifted …I have seen so much so fast..I am in the “now what” stage…but I am free…so the “now what” doesn’t seem so much a doing type of thing just a being but not even sure how to “be” here….somehow this is the most comfortable uncomfortable place ever..crazy or nah? Lol”

*

“What makes you come alive? 
What satisfies you most deeply? 
What fills you up? 
What brings you joy?

What centers you?

What is a source of delight and pleasure for you?

What areas, fields, or subjects are you interested in exploring?

What makes you feel connected to yourself?

What forms of self-expression are the most gratifying?

What would your sense of adventure tell you to do?

What way of being in the world resonates most deeply with your heart?

Where does your sense of curiosity take you?

How are you most compelled to aid the liberation of others?

Where in life are you inspired to be a tangible expression of love, acceptance, and compassion?

What nurtures a greater love for yourself and others?

The answers to these questions is a good place to start in determining an answer to “what now?””

(7)

“Jim, how to deal with the chronic pain of pudendal neuralgia and keep a good and hopeful attitude?”

*

“I know it must be difficult to daily deal with the chronic pain of pudendal neuralgia. I feel great compassion for those who have to endure chronic pain. A very close friend of mine wakes up most days and goes to bed most nights in excruciating chronic pain. I’ve seen the physical and emotional toll it takes on him. I feel sadness for those who experience this day in and day out. I’m guessing that part of the struggle is that others don’t/can’t really get it or understand. It’s one thing to have chronic pain; it’s another thing to feel alone in it. I respectfully stand on the edge of your chronic pain – not pretending to understand it – but standing with you in it… caring and wanting you to know you are not forgotten or alone. Consider the possibility of thinking about your spiritual life as the relationship you forge with whatever you have in your life. Some people have depression, some have Bipolar Disorder, for me it’s Tourette’s Syndrome. What if one of the most sacred parts of your life is your relationship to your pudendal neuralgia? In other words, rather than thinking of it as being an obstacle, hindrance, or meaningless affliction to an otherwise good life, consider thinking of it as what it means for you Kathleen to be an expression of the truth through your human reality. I don’t mean that you spiritualize your chronic pain in some kind of fake, happy-happy way, what I mean is that you settle for yourself at a fundamental level that your relationship to your chronic pain is what it means for Kathleen to be fully divine and human.”

(8)

“Jim, what do I do with the fear that creeps in because I feel that I’m abandoning a life long set of beliefs….”

*

“I think virtually everyone who goes through the “shedding religion” process experiences these fears. I think it might be useful to remember that Jesus himself was raised in the religious tradition of Judaism. He affirmed and embraced the truth he found in that tradition, but he also denounced and walked away from those elements that were hindrances and obstacles to the truth. It maybe that what’s actually happening for you is not that you are just abandoning a set of old beliefs but that you are breathing new life into them, and reclaiming the essence of them that perhaps got lost or misconstrued along the way.”

(9)

“Jim, why am I having such a hard time liking myself? Why is it so incredibly hard to break bad habits and always feeling guilty? If God loves me and created me as I am, why can’t I atleast like myself??”

*

“The Titanic did not crash for not knowing about the iceberg. The problem is that even after becoming aware of it, they could not turn the Titanic around on a dime. The perpetual motion of that massive vessel could not be turned back. Your not liking yourself, bad habits, and feeling guilty are like the Titanic. They have become a mass of habit energy in perpetual motion. You have been conditioned into not liking yourself, and now it has become the habitual way you think about yourself. Typically, there is not a magic wand solution here. Even spiritual enlightenment is not going to magically or instantaneously solve this. Consider the possibility of taking the time to consider the possibility of determining the personal work you need to do to break this habit energy. Let me give you an example from my own life. I grew up with an alcoholic mom, became codependent, and carried this codependency into my adulthood and relationships, which reaped havoc in my life for many years. For me, I determined that I really needed to tackle my codependency, which involved attending a weekly Codependents Anonymous group, and working a 12 Step Program for codependents. It was a lot of difficult emotional and life work but it paid off. The truth is that I could sit down with you for 10 minutes, and easily find many wonderful and extraordinary things about who you are. I could even describe each one of them. The problem is NOT that you aren’t likable, lovable, valuable, desirable, enjoyable… the challenge is only your relationship with yourself. It’s your relationship with yourself that needs restored. If you thought about it, I bet you could identify things you do actually like about yourself. What are they? Wrote them down. Respond back in a comment and let me know what some of them are.”

(10)

“Jim, it seems that ever since I walked away from fundamental Christianity, and then Christianity all together, it seems I’m walking down a path to atheism. I no longer belive the bible as the word of God but as a set of books put together to control the masses. I have been reading and watching documentaries regarding if Christ was real or even if the biblical God is real. I’m not sure anymore. Everything I believed for 42 years has crumbled away and my belief structure is in shambles. I’m not scared of eternal damnation because I do believe that God, universe, powers that be, what ever you want to call it, will except my soul back in. But I guess I’m just floating in the void and I’m not sure what to do since this is all brand new for me. Is this all normal?”

*

“I think what you are experiencing on the journey is normal. I tell people that I became an Atheist because I divested my belief in the “God” I had construed in my heard through religion. I am an Atheist in terms of no longer believing in the “God” I learned in church – a God of separation, judgment, and condemnation, a God who sends people to Hell, a God who is a grand puppet-master over human affairs, blessing one person and cursing another. I no longer believe in ‘that’ “God.” I think for most people their concept and understanding of God evolves. There’s a lot of ground to consider between (a) Christian fundamentalist God, and (b) no God end of story. I’ve actually found science to be a helpful influence in my own understanding of God or ultimate reality. Remember, that the word “God” is a word we chose to point to that which no person can adequately comprehend with their mind. It’s the same thing with the Bible. There is a lot of ground to consider between: (a) the Bible is a book God directly wrote, and (b) the Bible is rubbish and worthless. I would say to fight the tendency to pour concrete over your latest revelation or new understanding. I think you will in time live yourself into the answers you need for yourself but it can be a bumpy ride along the way. Sometimes the best thing to do is just stop worrying about it, stop trying to figure it out, and just live life. Consider the possibility that you are still growing, awakening, and evolving. Be careful of driving a stake in the ground. Remain open and pliable. Be mindful and stay true to the simplest things you know in your heart to be true. I hope to come back to this question with some other thoughts, but I figured I would start with this…”

Step One: Self-Ownership

Originally posted on Jim Palmer:

My involvement in Christianity stunted my spiritual and human growth.

It stunted my spiritual growth by leading down a path of falsehoods, which included the false premises of separation from God, and my inherent badness. It falsely taught me that Heaven is the big payoff for people who have correct theology. I also learned that in exchange for my obedience God would “bless me,” which meant more favorable life circumstances. I believed that Jesus taught these things, and I taught them myself as a pastor with a Master of Divinity degree. I can’t really blame anyone but myself. I was complicit in these falsehoods by not doing my own due diligence and not thinking for myself.

My Christianity also shaped how I viewed the world, which didn’t make me a very good human either. If the world is doomed and escaping it to Heaven when we die is the point…

View original 635 more words

Maybe it’s time to outgrow yourself

We become attached to a certain “self” that we’ve become comfortable with. We’ve learned to do life in and through that “self.” It’s what we know. The path involves shedding these selves. Think of the Nautilus. These fascinating seashells are spiral in shape and consist of a series of ever-larger chambers in each of which the sea creature lives for a season until it outgrows that particular space. The Nautilus then enlarges its shell by the addition of a new chamber suitable for the next stage of its life.

Jesus is a threat to Christianity

“What the term ‘Christian’ originally referred to has been replaced by the idea of affirming certain beliefs about God. Jesus didn’t come to start a new religion; he came to reveal God. The idea that God could be known simply through interacting with Jesus was a threat to the religious establishment. Heck, if you could experience God directly through Jesus, what did you need them and their religious system for? Jesus said, “I am the truth.” What is that truth? That God and humankind are not separated but one. Any God you ever found in church you brought in with you.”

- Jim Palmer, Wide Open Spaces 

Dethrone the imposter ( have the courage to be you)

YOU are supposed to be here.

There was always supposed to be YOU.

That other person you have created and prop up for the world to see is an imposter. That other person you think you were supposed to be, or told you should be, or convinced yourself you needed to be, or that you determined would be better or make others happier… is a lie.

That’s not really you.



YOU are supposed to be here.

There was always supposed to be YOU.

That you needs to see the light of day – the light of your acceptance. Thinking you are flawed, defective, ugly, unlovable, incurably broken, and beyond hope and that God also sees YOU this way … is a lie.

That’s not really you.

YOU are supposed to be here.

There was always supposed to be YOU.

By now that you has become buried beneath layers of judgment, hurt, rejection, self-protection, and self-condemnation. But this world needs the you that is tuly the way you are.

Not a made up you, or fake you, or should you because

that’s not really you.

YOU are supposed to be here.

There was always supposed to be YOU.

You have the courage and power to free you and be you.

There is only one YOU. Who YOU are is God’s gift to you. Who YOU are is your gift to the world. That YOU is good. That YOU is beautiful. That YOU is loved, worthy, and wanted. And that’s no lie; it’s the truth.

That is the real YOU.

Terrified (of myself)

I find that people are afraid of what’s deep inside them. Religion made us fear ourselves. That’s like locking the door and throwing away the key. All that’s left is obeying what they say. But the truth is that there is no door or key.

All there is to do is wake up.

Wake up!

(photo by darla winn)

After walking away…

Originally posted on Jim Palmer:

After walking away from organized religion and professional ministry, I began chronicling my spiritual journey in 2005. The first book was Divine Nobodies: Shedding Religion to Find God (and the unlikely people who help you). This book is especially useful for the person who is seeing in spades that the “Christian” mentalities and views they’ve never questioned in church, need questioning. It’s that feeling that things don’t add up, something is way off, and there must be more. Each chapter in the book tells the story of a person God brought across my path to help me look deeper into my life and relationship with God.

On Amazon
Helpful Review

My follow-up book to Divine Nobodies was Wide Open Spaces: Beyond Paint-by-Number Christianity. I noticed in many of the emails I was receiving that people were getting stuck in the anti-religion, anti-church mentality, and not really moving…

View original 358 more words

You can’t be divine or human

It often seems to be the case that teaching and discussion about religion, God, and spirituality can be rather sterile, formulaic, and void of the depths of human feeling and experience. Transformation or enlightenment is not the eradication of our humanity. This is one reason why Jesus has been such a vital element in my spiritual evolution. Jesus said, “I am the truth.” In other words, you can’t be divine or human, you have to be divine AND human.

I’m a late bloomer (better late than never)

I’m a late bloomer. For many years I was shut down inside myself, afraid to come out of the shadows… and be me. Some days it can still be a little ify, and I want to run back into the shadows and hide. In many ways, I had to start at the most rudimentary level. 

See Jim feel.
See Jim do something Jim enjoys doing.
See Jim say no.
See Jim express a need or desire.
See Jim have his own thoughts.
See Jim express his authentic self.

See Jim not feel guilty about enjoying life.

See Jim set boundaries.

See Jim tell people off.

See Jim live apart from others expectations.

Phew! It’s not been a walk in the park but I’m getting there.

What Jesus felt

One of the things I love about Jesus is the way he was a witness to the entire human journey – not only the beauty and wonder of it, but also the sadness and heartache. Too often religion rushes in and tries to theologize away the painful and sometimes heart-wrenching experiences of life. Jesus did not spout of spiritual platitudes, brightside people’s tears, or offer long theological explanations to somehow make it all “okay.”

Jesus embraced life fully, and felt it all deeply. His message about life and living is different than anything else you hear. Jesus basically said that sometimes life is pure and unadulterated joy and peace, and other times it knocks you to your knees with pain that feels will be the end of you. But in the midst of life just as it is… all of it… every last hurt and joy of it… is the kingdom of God. You hurt, and if you have the courage to face it and press deeper through it, you touch something else there. It’s beautiful and feels like serenity. It doesn’t protect you from the pain of the human journey, but it’s like it travels with you as you go.