Jim Palmer's Blog, page 29

Pop, goes the Weasel!

Within every human being is a self-actualizing tendency. At the root of our human personhood, we long to grow, evolve, deepen, and expand into the fullness of who we are. Too often religion denies and thwarts this self-actualizing tendency at every turn by demanding that we remain in a very small, tight, limited, and restrictive space. We are made to fear ourselves and our fullness, and fear keeps us from exploring any further than the confined place religion puts us in. You will find as you are shedding religion that this self-actualizing tendency will revive, strengthen, accelerate, and will reach it’s zenith. Some characteristics of this self-actualization include:

1. Dissatisfaction with one’s staus quo

2. Intolerance of inauthenticity

3. Casting off of rules, regulations, and restrictions

4. Resurgence of individuality

5. Openness to new possibilities

6. Desire to grow, learn, and expand

7. Freedom of self-expression

8. Establishment of personal boundaries

9. Reshaping of your relational world

10. Greater acceptance and love for others

5 things not to feel guilty about on your spiritual journey

5 things that may happen on your spiritual journey that you don’t need to feel guilty about:

1. You may discontinue your active involvement in a church or religious organization. This doesn’t necessarily have to be some sort of judgment orcondemnation against the church or organization you were part of, but a choice you make because your involvement no longer relates to or supports where you are on the journey, or may be an obstacle and hindrance to it.

2. You may grow weary of incessant God talk. It’s possible there will be times when you grow sick of the constant theological discussion and debate, and the never-ending wheel of new and improved concepts, beliefs, understandings, teachings, etc. At some point it all might sound like, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” You might fall dead to the need to be constantly figuring out things with your mind or in your head. One day you might wake up and say, “Okay, I’m done!” Don’t feel bad about this. It actually may be a very important milestone in your spiritual journey. In my view, theology is not even the best way by which God and spiritual truth is known. It may be that subject of “God” as a whole feels a bit overdone and boring, but this is only because you were taught to equate God with all that blah blah blah stuff.

3. You may find that the very people your religion judged and condemned are the people you find the most interesting and enjoyable. Once you come out from under the judgmental labels, views and stereotypes you learned through religion, you start realizing how much you truly like and enjoy the people you were taught to hate. This is a good and liberating aspect of shedding religion. For too long you were shut yourself off from a lot of beautiful and extraordinary people in this world to enjoy and learn from.

4. You may find and express a rebellious or defiant part of you that has been dormant. Don’t feel bad about this. Too often religion turns people into nice, complaint, repressed, timid, inhibited, mannerly, obedient, fearful, amiable, submissive people. By the way, I would not use any of these words to describe Jesus. Here’s the deal, you can be a loving, compassionate, respectful and kind person AND be a rebellious, defiant, passionate, disobedient, subversive, nonconformist, mischievous, self-willed, fully expressed, freethinker, heretic, and free spirit human being.

5. You may find less fulfillment in religious things, and more satisfaction in human things. It’s okay and good to be human, and to enjoy each moment of your human journey. Religion caused many people to create a false division between “sacred” things and “secular” things. There is no such line. All of life is scared, spiritual, and divine. There’s no need to defend, theologize, or spiritualize your human experience. Just live it! That is enough. Life is made complete by you living each moment. There’s no need to maintain a running commentary about how God is part of it. God IS part of it. Life and God are inseparable. End of story. It’s okay to enjoy life, experience delight and pleasure, do the things you enjoy doing, and that breathe life into you, whatever those things may be. 

You’re WAY too nice!

“People often envision Jesus as someone tiptoeing around in a flowing robe, speaking softly, and carrying a baby lamb in his arms. But the real Jesus of history was a lightning rod. He got angry. He was the greatest debunker of religious hierarchies and traditions, and the greatest desacralizer of holy places, times, people, rituals, priests and things, that this world has ever seen. The religious establishment hurriedly condemned him to death for blasphemy, while the secular powers executed him for sedition.

“Nice” is overrated. “Nice” is being “amiably pleasant, pleasing, and agreeable.” Not exactly the word I would use for Jesus when he was turning over tables in the temple. Jesus did not do this nicely. Jesus was a person of deep love and compassion, but the word “nice” doesn’t fit him. “Defiant” and “subversive” fit much better.

You’re too nice.

Religion taught you that you should be nice, considerate, polite, amiable, and selfless. An antonym for “nice” is “improper.” “Improper” is defined as: “not being in accord with acceptable behavior and procedures; not in keeping with conventional mores.” Yep, that was Jesus!

The road to Truth has improper written all over it. People traveling this road are a threat to all the nice people. Don’t expect them to be nice anymore, at least to you. Your world works because it hinges on you being nice. There will not be a crowd cheering you on. Knowing Truth is not a popularity contest, and the road to your freedom and end of suffering will be lined with people expressing disapproval.

Every step on the path of Truth is an act of non-conformity.

There will be resistance. There will be a lot of chances to turn back. Keep going! Be fearless!

How much suffering will you tolerate? How many things will you continue doing and believing that have not worked and never will? How long will you put on that fake happy face, be nice, go to church, and conform? How long will you listen to everyone else but yourself?

The board is set, the pieces are moving. You must come to it at last – this is your great moment to be free and to stand for the liberation of all humankind!”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge   

If everything is okay, why is everything so screwed up?

Jim, your message seems to be that there is nothing wrong with us or anyone. If this is true then why are so many people screwed up, and the world such a mess? A simple scan of the news headlines is just a reminder of how twisted and evil people can be.

*

At the most fundamental level each of us is whole and complete. The underlying and unchanging nature and essence of humankind and all thingsis God. The basis of your true Self is God. That Self cannot be improved or diminished. That Self knows truth and is truth. That Self is in no need of enlightenment, salvation, or transformation. That Self is undisturbed, at peace, never lacking, and well… in every moment,,, always.

But here’s the deal. That Self took on human personhood – a human mind, body, personality, etc. Why? Because we are all here to be a human expression of our true Self, and create a world out of that reality. You might ask: What is it supposed to look like??? 2000 years ago it looked like Jesus, and the life he lived. Jesus brought an epic paradigm shift to humankind by obliterating the falsehood of separation from God but humankind has to catch up in embracing and unpacking this profound reality.

So, for each of us our real Self is born into a human mind and body. Unlike the permanence of that Self, our human personhood is malleable, and we are shaped into our human personhood through our unique set of conditions, circumstances, environment, relationships, and choices. The bummer of this is that many people are not aware of their true Self or the true nature of all things, and run out into the world to attain love, worth, value, security, identity, acceptance, peace, and well-being anyway they can get it. This spiritual ignorance and the thoughts and actions that stem from it is why there is hatred, violence, disharmony, and despair in this world, which the news headlines attest to.

It can get a bit complicated. We didn’t get into this mess overnight, and it’s going to really require something of us all to get out of it. The spiritual ignorance that is at the root of our problem is so pervasive that most people don’t even see it. Jesus confronted it squarely, and then we turned Jesus into a religion to keep the falsehood going. We are an inventive lot!

What to do?

You may not like my answer because it sounds a bit… well… ho hum. The answer is that you must address the root cause of suffering for yourself, embrace the truth fully yourself, and be free. It may be a little difficult to compute, but the reality is that as you do your personal work, you are doing it for all humankind. Everyone benefits. Your personal transformation is a score for all humankind, and the way of changing those news headlines.

This won’t be easy because part of the disease is how people have been convinced that things can’t change. Religion has told too many people that the world is hopeless and doomed, and we should bide our time and hold out until God swoops down and air-lifts us out of it. The Christian religion got people focused on the “rapture;” meanwhile, Jesus taught that the Kingdom of God has already come and is here. Facepalm!

So, do your part! The world is not too far gone to be transformed but it has to start and happen in and through you! Stop reading the news headlines and start looking in the mirror. I’m speaking to myself here :) 

I don’t give a what! (coming out of the closet on your spiritual journey)

Someone shared with me today that it has been difficult for them in being honest with others about their spiritual journey. I decided to toss a few thoughts out about this on my latest YouTube video.

A Religious Guide to Sabotaging Your Life

A Religious Guide to Sabotaging Your Life:

1. Begin with the premise that there is something hopelessly and incurably wrong with you.

2. Believe that your humanity is an affront to God, an obstacle to overcome, and an evil to repress or eradicate.

3. Pin your hopes on the afterlife, and don’t get too interested in the herelife.

4. Mistrust what you most deeply feel.

5. Give others the power and authority to determine what your beliefs, values, opinions, goals, desires, and views are.

6. Fear, reject, condemn, and close yourself off from anything that doesn’t fit with what you got from the above.

7. Focus on behavior modification, checklists, do’s and don’ts, obedience, and keeping the rules when it comes to living your life.

8. Give up or kill off all your needs and desires as a sign of spiritual maturity and call it “dying to self.”

9. Make sure everything and everyone in life is assigned a label or put into a box.

10. Label science, psychology, and art as “secular,” “carnal,” or “worldly,” and stay away from it.

11. Consider talk of love, unity, harmony, peace, beauty and oneness as childish, foolish, idealistic, or dangerous.

12. Draw a line between “sacred” and “secular” and divide up the world accordingly.

13. Divide humankind up into “us” and “them,” and stay away from “them” and judge “them” from a distance.

14. Lock up and throw away the key to your sexuality and get busy focusing on something that is holy.

15. Put forth a valiant effort to project and maintain an image that lines up with the expectations of your religious community, and hide the ways you don’t.

16. Don’t ask questions, rock the boat, challenge authority, think for yourself, or listen to that voice inside… just keep doing or believing even if it violates something deep inside of you.

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

(Photo by Darla Winn)

Parenting Teens (Rule 1: Break the rules with them)

So, I’ve been around quite a few “Christian” pre-teen and teens lately, and have noticed that they are living double lives. There’s the Christian facade they put on at home, church, and Christian school… but it’s an entirely different story when they feel safe enough to truly be and express themselves. Too often institutional Christianity is a breeding ground for inauthenticity and a split self. Here are a few things to consider of you want to point your kids in the direction of freedom:

1. Let your kids know that what is often passed off as “Christian,” may not be anything close to the true meaning and significance of Jesus.

2. Let your kids know that it’s okay to question what they hear. Encourage and help them become critical, independent, and free thinkers.

3. Let your kids know that being “spiritually mature” is not necessarily keeping the rules, but could just as easily be breaking them.

4. Let your kids know that they can have confidence in what they most deeply feel and know is true inside. Many kids hear a theology in church that violates the spirit of truth inside them.

5. Create a safe space for your kids to be authentic and real. Stop judging them based on what they “should” be thinking, feeling, and experiencing, and get interested in what they actually are thinking, feeling, and experiencing.

6. Let them know that being “good” doesn’t automatically mean being obliging, docile, meek, inhibited, compliant, restrained, etc. but can also mean being passionate, original, subversive, nonconformist, and contrary.

7. Instill in your kids the non-negotiables such as love, compassion, and the inherent and equal divine worth of every human being. Talk to them about the religious falsehoods they will often hear along the way such as separation from God.

8. Let your kids know that all of life is spiritual, and that life and God are inseparable. Show them that they don’t need to go chasing God but to only open their eyes to see God in, through, and as all things that happen along the everyday paths of their life.

9. Help your kids understand the root cause of suffering, and the true source of peace, freedom, and well-being.

10. Don’t think you know everything. Be willing to see and understand the world through their eyes and experiences. They have much to teach you.

11. Stop judging what they are doing as “wrong.” Steve Jobs was a legend and hero for being immersed in technology, and yet we tell our kids that they are ruining their lives by being on their phone or computer too much.

12. The world is no longer what it was when you were growing up; it’s time to truly understand their world.

13. Tell your kids everyday that you love them unconditionally. Find them doing things that are right and good. Tell them they are beautiful inside and out… and be specific about what you see that is good and beautiful about them. Let them see the passion and rebel in you. Maybe break a few rules with them :) 

What’s the difference between Christian evangelism and spreading freedom?

The Selfie Generation (what I learned at the YouTube O2L Digitour)

Last night I took Jessica and her friend to the 2014 YouTube O2L Digitour in Atlanta. The Digitour is a collection of the most talented and popular teen YouTube stars who pack our venues around the U.S., putting on performances. Some of the performers are known for their musical talent, but mostly for their comedic talent, which is evidenced for their YouTube videos that go viral. The main O2L guys are: Connor, Ricky, Sam, JC, Trevor, and Kian.

We rolled into Atlanta about noon, staked our place near the front of the line, and hung out there for the next 6 hours until it stated at 6:30pm. The venue was The Tabernacle in downtown Atlanta. These Digitours especially appeal to teenage girls. There were teen guys there for sure but I’d so it was weighted 70/30 in favor of the girls.

I haven’t had much time to reflect upon it after not getting much sleep last night, but here are a few first thoughts on how I experienced it.

1. Teens are done with fake and want real.

I was scratching my head a bit during the actual performance. There was no band, no epic stage production, and no flash or theatrics. Basically, it was a group of teenagers in jeans and t-shirts who looked like they are just gotten out of bed and walked out on stage. Other than some general organization, the rest of the performances were rather spontaneous and unrehearsed. There was no attempt to “perform” or live up to some great persona, some of them even seemed a bit awkward on stage… not really the live performer type.

But the crowd could not get enough of it! My ears are still buzzing from the screaming and roaring fans. I became a fan myself last night. I loved it. Once I let go of what I expected to be in terms of some high-production polished performance, I totally enjoyed what it was. It was actually refreshing to watch these teenage YouTube stars come out on stage, and just be the fully-expressed and authentic kids that they are. It wasn’t hype, it was real. It wasn’t perfection, it was real. It wasn’t polished, it was real. It wasn’t fake, it was real. As they put it, “I don’t give a what!”

2. It’s about the people, stupid.

The YouTube O2L Digitour is not about the performance itself; that’s just icing on the cake. What it’s really about is people, connection, and interaction. The Digitour intentionally chooses mid-size venues (3,000-5,000 people) so that the experience can be more intimate and relational. Before the show, the YouTube teen personalities are out in the parking lot and line hanging out with the crowd, and doing an endless number of selfie shots with fans. During the performance, they will bring lots of fans onto the stage to be part of the show, and take phones handed to them from the crowd on the floor to take selfie shots from the stage, and hand the phone back. After the show they make a quick exit, and the security personnel tell people to vacate the premises. This usually cuts the crowd down considerably. Most parents are ready to go anyway, and being told it’s time to leave pretty much does it. The fans who know better don’t leave because they know they will come back once the crowd dwindles down. Sure enough, one of the YouTube personalities will Tweet that they are coming back to hang out with whoever was patient enough to wait.

3. The selfie is a monument to the moment.

Contrary to popular opinion, the teenage selfie is not some insanely self-absorbed and vain phenomenon. If that’s all you think it is, you’re missing it. The selfie is a marker or monument to the present moment. Teens are not word-driven but image-driven, which is why teens prefer Instagram, Vine, Kik, and Snapchat over Facebook. A selfie is basically saying: this is me, this is us, this is here, this is now. The selfie captures the spontaneity of the moment. It’s a visual personal journal. It’s raw. It’s real. It’s life as it is and as it happens. In a way it’s social media scrapbooking.

4. Teens are extraordinary.

Though I lost about five pounds in sweat, and my back is a little tight this morning, I had a great time yesterday and last night. Standing in line for six hours with a sea of teenagers was both entertaining and enlightening. I expected the attitude might be… who is this weird old guy hanging around. But once these teens realized that I wasn’t either an axe-murderer or a cop, we all became friends and in some strange way I became one of them… well, as much as that was possible. I felt accepted. You get to know people standing in a line for six hours. You sort of ban together. You hold spots in line for each other when you need to use the restroom, get something to eat or drink, or chase down a YouTube star. You endure the heat and drama of it all together. Jessica and her friend traded social media info with a lot of folks they met and got to know while waiting in line. I met some amazing, brilliant, extraordinary, intelligent, kind, considerate and alive teens – beautiful human beings.

That’s all for now. Gonna get these kids up, do breakfast, and start back to Nashville.

Dear Jim, will The Secret make me happy?

“Jim, what do you think of ‘The Secret,’ and the power of our desires to achieve happiness?”

*

It’s often the case that religion creates a pathology in people by telling them that their feelings and desires are unreliable, dangerous, selfish, and sinful, and should be mistrusted and denied. This is why people coming out of religion are often compelled by what they discover in “New Age” teachings. Of course by now, “New Age” is not much different a term than “Christianity” in that the definition depends on who you’re talking to. And predictably, some corners of Christianity demonize anything that could be classified as “New Age.” Nonetheless, one reason why people are drawn to New Age themes and teachings is because they view our feelings and desires as a good, central, reliable, and powerful aspect of our spiritual and life journey. This is but one of many aspects of the “New Age Movement” that I appreciate.

There is great wisdom in what is often referred to as the “law of attraction.” You could also refer to it as the law of “sowing and reaping.” What I like about this is the way it encourages personal responsibility for one’s experience of life. Rather than approaching life passively or through a victim mentality, New Age teachings invite people to shift their understanding of themselves in relationship to life, namely to see themselves as the creators of their life.

I believe it is true that how we approach life determines our experience of life. In any given moment for all of us, life is simply just what’s happening. How you see it, take it, understand it, interpret it, and respond to it determines your experience of life. Two people could be faced with an identical set of circumstances, but their experience of it will be different. Thinking of the law of attraction or the law of sowing and reaping, I think it is self-evident that if you have a fear-based mentality, this will negatively affect the quality and dynamics of your life. Or if you are a compassionate person, this will positively affect your experience of life. A hate-filled person will experience life differently than a love-filled person.

I watched the film, The Secret, and felt there were many insightful understandings to be taken from it. What concerned me about it was the way it seemed to apply the concept of the law of attraction in materialistic terms. My concern was twofold: (1) It seemed to imply that if anyone desires something bad enough they can and will have it. This sounds a bit like the whole religious thing – “if you had enough faith….” So, if you desire something and you’re not getting it than you must be the problem – you’re just not wanting it bad enough. There is a way that the formulaic and magical thinking aspects of religion seem very similar here as well. (2) It concerns me also that the film seemed to imply that true happiness is measured by or based upon material things or personal circumstances – having the nice car, the big house, financial and professional success, etc.

It is important to keep in mind that at the most fundamental level, you are in every moment… whole, complete, free, at peace, undisturbed, one with God, and in harmony with all things. This is the true source of your well-being, which is not something you have to achieve, earn, attain, or make happen. However one attempts to do it, whether through religion, philosophy, New Age teachings, or whatever, true happiness and well-being is not a matter of controlling your circumstances. Even If your desires were powerful enough to draw to you everything you desired in the material and human world, it would not last because all things in the human experience are characterized by impermanence. That doesn’t make the world wrong, and our well-being is not jeopardized because of it. In my view, our feelings and desires are a central part of what it means to be human and to fulfill the meaning of our lives here on earth. But as true as that is, it is still the case that our happiness and well-being doesn’t require the control of or any particular set of circumstances.

Having said all that, I think one profound lesson one should take from The Secret is the understanding that putting actions to one’s intentions is a powerful tool for a person to create the life they want to live, and be the person they want to be. Most people are not aware of the power they posses, and I am grateful to the New Age movement for awakening many people to their personal power, and the possibilities available to a person as a result of this discovery.