Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 139
May 28, 2013
QK Round 1: The Decapitator versus The Swimmer
Entry Nickname: The DecapitatorTitle: The Art of SeveranceWord Count: 82,000Genre: Adult Urban Fantasy
Query:
ATF Special Agent Alexandra MacPherson can’t decide which is worse -- a witness who dies or a suspect who won’t stay dead.
A routine investigation escalates to FUBAR when one of the accused turns up dead, his body untouched but drained of blood. A pregnant college student is found, minus her ten-week fetus and internal organs. A mother and daughter are smothered in the nursery. The only link among victims is their wounds mirror the attacks of creatures that don’t exist: a vampiric witch, a revenant, a bogeyman.
Bodies make it a big case with bigger problems. Alex can live with that. Maybe it will keep her from jogging the streets at two in the morning or drunk-dialing her dead husband’s cell phone number. Then her only viable lead is killed and Alex is forced to accept that some myths... aren’t.
Finding the man responsible is easy.
Killing him and his creations won’t be.
Surviving may be impossible.
First 250 Words:
Sometimes it all came down to the gun you chose. SIG Sauer P226 .40 S&W or Rossi .357 Magnum revolver with a six-inch barrel. I’d picked the SIG. I should have gone with the Rossi.
I sneaked a look at the battered clock on the wall of the loading dock. My dealer was only five minutes late. Not so long I worried he’d had second thoughts. I needed him to show soon, though, before my unease fermented into something harder to conceal.
“He’s late,” Mike said.
I shrugged. Played like I didn’t care, hadn’t noticed, and didn’t want to hiss at Mike for his observational skills.
“You watch the game last night?” Mike asked.
“What game?”
“The Sox.”
A Sox fan. God help me. I’d kept hundreds of mindless details straight for six months but couldn’t for the life of me remember whether Kate Campbell gave a crap about the national pastime. “I don’t follow baseball.”
“They play the Yankees tomorrow.”
“Well, I do hate the Yankees.”
“Who doesn’t?” Mike dropped the remnant of his cigarette to the floor of the dock and crushed it under his shoe.
Kate Campbell was a vegetarian who sold lattes at an internet cafe and lived in a dump near Temple University. A fugitive from the United Kingdom for alleged involvement in a train derailment in North West England, she fancied herself a modern day Guy Fawkes.
I was done pretending to be Kate Campbell, the annoying twat.
Versus
Entry Nickname: The SwimmerTitle: What the Water Gave UsWord count: 94,000Genre: Adult Social Science Fiction
Query:
Tia Sawyer is one hell of a good traitor. She’s a marksman who won’t shoot to kill, a money-launderer who gives her profits away, and worst of all a dangerous rebel leader married to the Prince invading her country. To her people she’s a disgraced renegade, to the Empire she’s a liability, but both will need her for their very survival.
Stuck on a planet devastated by disease, mankind has united under the rule of a royal family whose blood provides the only viable treatment, but one nation resists. They refuse to sell out their sovereignty for access to doses.
Prince Anton’s intentions are good—defy his own government to eradicate the disease once and for all—but his arrival throws Tia’s life into chaos sparking a war in her already tumultuous homeland. Tia’s countrymen will stop at nothing to protect their freedom, Anton will risk his life and other’s to end the spread of the horrific virus, while Anton’s uncle, the Tsar Regent will bring the full weight of an empire to ensure that neither succeed.
The only hope of diplomacy rests with Tia, but she has not spoken to Anton in ten years, and a reconciliation threatens to expose secrets from their past that could topple the empire and destroy the delicate peace the rest of the world enjoys. To save herself and those she cares about Tia must decide whose side she’s on and overcome her own broken spirit before all are lost.
First 250 words:
Prince Anton watched his cousins’ indifference as their blood became public property, siphoned out by attending nurses as they laid in a row at the Ministry of Health. This had been their routine since birth.
His cousins shared loud jokes to pass the time, but Anton now closed his eyes and mouth. This gift of his blood was the only message he wished to convey, and the only sights he felt he had earned played inside his head—the wretched cries and contorted, bloody features of the dying. Even immunity was no protection against the emotional toll of the Kappa Violenti virus. No matter how much blood they gave it was never enough.
The laughter stopped, all levity sucked from the room. Anton knew before he opened his eyes who had entered; his uncle, the Tsar Regent Elias Verkov, slinked under the doorframe like a serpent too large for its cage. “So none of you felt it pertinent to tell me you were giving extra doses?” Elias asked. The cousins replied with the acquiescent silence of a shamed pet. Elias's words had been for them all, but his eyes were only on Anton as he knelt beside him.
“This is our normally scheduled time,” Anton offered with false confidence.
Elias wore a warning, the slit of a smile on his unnaturally taught face. “My dear boy, you’ve been leading your poor cousins astray. This blood is our power, and you fritter it away to foreign parasites. Did you think I wouldn’t find out about Sunderland? And you think you can do the same in Levant?”
Query:
ATF Special Agent Alexandra MacPherson can’t decide which is worse -- a witness who dies or a suspect who won’t stay dead.
A routine investigation escalates to FUBAR when one of the accused turns up dead, his body untouched but drained of blood. A pregnant college student is found, minus her ten-week fetus and internal organs. A mother and daughter are smothered in the nursery. The only link among victims is their wounds mirror the attacks of creatures that don’t exist: a vampiric witch, a revenant, a bogeyman.
Bodies make it a big case with bigger problems. Alex can live with that. Maybe it will keep her from jogging the streets at two in the morning or drunk-dialing her dead husband’s cell phone number. Then her only viable lead is killed and Alex is forced to accept that some myths... aren’t.
Finding the man responsible is easy.
Killing him and his creations won’t be.
Surviving may be impossible.
First 250 Words:
Sometimes it all came down to the gun you chose. SIG Sauer P226 .40 S&W or Rossi .357 Magnum revolver with a six-inch barrel. I’d picked the SIG. I should have gone with the Rossi.
I sneaked a look at the battered clock on the wall of the loading dock. My dealer was only five minutes late. Not so long I worried he’d had second thoughts. I needed him to show soon, though, before my unease fermented into something harder to conceal.
“He’s late,” Mike said.
I shrugged. Played like I didn’t care, hadn’t noticed, and didn’t want to hiss at Mike for his observational skills.
“You watch the game last night?” Mike asked.
“What game?”
“The Sox.”
A Sox fan. God help me. I’d kept hundreds of mindless details straight for six months but couldn’t for the life of me remember whether Kate Campbell gave a crap about the national pastime. “I don’t follow baseball.”
“They play the Yankees tomorrow.”
“Well, I do hate the Yankees.”
“Who doesn’t?” Mike dropped the remnant of his cigarette to the floor of the dock and crushed it under his shoe.
Kate Campbell was a vegetarian who sold lattes at an internet cafe and lived in a dump near Temple University. A fugitive from the United Kingdom for alleged involvement in a train derailment in North West England, she fancied herself a modern day Guy Fawkes.
I was done pretending to be Kate Campbell, the annoying twat.
Versus
Entry Nickname: The SwimmerTitle: What the Water Gave UsWord count: 94,000Genre: Adult Social Science Fiction
Query:
Tia Sawyer is one hell of a good traitor. She’s a marksman who won’t shoot to kill, a money-launderer who gives her profits away, and worst of all a dangerous rebel leader married to the Prince invading her country. To her people she’s a disgraced renegade, to the Empire she’s a liability, but both will need her for their very survival.
Stuck on a planet devastated by disease, mankind has united under the rule of a royal family whose blood provides the only viable treatment, but one nation resists. They refuse to sell out their sovereignty for access to doses.
Prince Anton’s intentions are good—defy his own government to eradicate the disease once and for all—but his arrival throws Tia’s life into chaos sparking a war in her already tumultuous homeland. Tia’s countrymen will stop at nothing to protect their freedom, Anton will risk his life and other’s to end the spread of the horrific virus, while Anton’s uncle, the Tsar Regent will bring the full weight of an empire to ensure that neither succeed.
The only hope of diplomacy rests with Tia, but she has not spoken to Anton in ten years, and a reconciliation threatens to expose secrets from their past that could topple the empire and destroy the delicate peace the rest of the world enjoys. To save herself and those she cares about Tia must decide whose side she’s on and overcome her own broken spirit before all are lost.
First 250 words:
Prince Anton watched his cousins’ indifference as their blood became public property, siphoned out by attending nurses as they laid in a row at the Ministry of Health. This had been their routine since birth.
His cousins shared loud jokes to pass the time, but Anton now closed his eyes and mouth. This gift of his blood was the only message he wished to convey, and the only sights he felt he had earned played inside his head—the wretched cries and contorted, bloody features of the dying. Even immunity was no protection against the emotional toll of the Kappa Violenti virus. No matter how much blood they gave it was never enough.
The laughter stopped, all levity sucked from the room. Anton knew before he opened his eyes who had entered; his uncle, the Tsar Regent Elias Verkov, slinked under the doorframe like a serpent too large for its cage. “So none of you felt it pertinent to tell me you were giving extra doses?” Elias asked. The cousins replied with the acquiescent silence of a shamed pet. Elias's words had been for them all, but his eyes were only on Anton as he knelt beside him.
“This is our normally scheduled time,” Anton offered with false confidence.
Elias wore a warning, the slit of a smile on his unnaturally taught face. “My dear boy, you’ve been leading your poor cousins astray. This blood is our power, and you fritter it away to foreign parasites. Did you think I wouldn’t find out about Sunderland? And you think you can do the same in Levant?”
Query Kombat Round 1 Has Begun!
That's right Query Kombat is live! We are underway from now until Monday, June 3rd, for voting and commenting. That gives the judges a full week to consider their votes. Updated brackets listing the second round Kombatants will be posted on June 4th.
As a reminder, our fabulous judges are voting as replies to the first comment in every matchup using their secret nicknames. (Please give me a few moments to get those first comments settled before you jump in.) Judges will vote as follows: Victory: Kombatant nickname! and then they will possibly give more detailed feedback about their votes. I will try and shout out on twitter when I see a judge stopping by the blog. Only the Query Kombat judges' votes will count toward determining who moves to the next round.
Voting ties will be broken by the blog host, which is me for this round.
Anyone may comment, but we hope each Kombatant will provide constructive feedback on at least 6 matchups. That means lending your thoughts to both entries in a matchup.
While not everyone can advance to the final round, everyone can gain insight that makes their query and first page stronger. It has been an honor working with all of you.
Let the battles begin!
As a reminder, our fabulous judges are voting as replies to the first comment in every matchup using their secret nicknames. (Please give me a few moments to get those first comments settled before you jump in.) Judges will vote as follows: Victory: Kombatant nickname! and then they will possibly give more detailed feedback about their votes. I will try and shout out on twitter when I see a judge stopping by the blog. Only the Query Kombat judges' votes will count toward determining who moves to the next round.
Voting ties will be broken by the blog host, which is me for this round.
Anyone may comment, but we hope each Kombatant will provide constructive feedback on at least 6 matchups. That means lending your thoughts to both entries in a matchup.
While not everyone can advance to the final round, everyone can gain insight that makes their query and first page stronger. It has been an honor working with all of you.
Let the battles begin!
May 25, 2013
Unveiling the Query Kombat Brackets!
Due to a problem with a few of the entrants, the bracket reveal got delayed by a day or two. I hope it was worth the wait. We did our best to match age categories together and you'll see all the MG's on the right and the adult's on the left (separated as they should be). YA's, being so stuck on themselves, took up both sides, while the poor lonely NA's are squeezed in somehow, just glad to get space.
I'm excited to see the Misfit Apocalypse in a knock out fight with the Space Mafia. And wonder what will happen between the Knight in Shining Armani and the Witch. I'm taking a step back from the Decapitator. And watching my feet around the Broken Jar. Pick your favorites and see if you can find your competition on twitter.
Once again, congrats and good luck to everyone who made it into the first round. Below you will find the tournament bracket with first round match-ups. Honestly, we have no idea who will make it into the next round. There are just so many exceptional entries!
Though entries are going head to head, this is a friendly competition. We don't mind banter but please keep it lighthearted. We don't want hurt feelings or bruised pride.
As you all know, the first round begins on May 28 on Michelle's blog. Please refrain from leaving comments until all match-ups (32 total) and the judging comments are posted.
Feel free to shout out your entry name on twitter and look for your competition. Who knows, maybe you'll become best of writerly buddies :D
Click to Enlarge
I'm excited to see the Misfit Apocalypse in a knock out fight with the Space Mafia. And wonder what will happen between the Knight in Shining Armani and the Witch. I'm taking a step back from the Decapitator. And watching my feet around the Broken Jar. Pick your favorites and see if you can find your competition on twitter.
Once again, congrats and good luck to everyone who made it into the first round. Below you will find the tournament bracket with first round match-ups. Honestly, we have no idea who will make it into the next round. There are just so many exceptional entries!
Though entries are going head to head, this is a friendly competition. We don't mind banter but please keep it lighthearted. We don't want hurt feelings or bruised pride.
As you all know, the first round begins on May 28 on Michelle's blog. Please refrain from leaving comments until all match-ups (32 total) and the judging comments are posted.
Feel free to shout out your entry name on twitter and look for your competition. Who knows, maybe you'll become best of writerly buddies :D
Click to Enlarge
May 22, 2013
Announcing the Kombatants
First off, I want to give a HUGE thanks to everyone who entered the tournament. Never did it cross our minds that Query Kombat would become as successful as it has. Thank you.
With over 210 entries in our inbox, we had a very tough time choosing who would advance into the tournament. For some, as little as a comma was grounds for elimination. We even had to pass up on some exceptional entries for no reason at all. Just because you didn't make it into the tournament doesn't mean your query or first page isn't good. And just because your query and first page ARE good/great/excellent doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to make them even better and help your fellow writer advance to the next level.
That being said, we hope to help some of you (who didn't make it in the tournament) with your queries. Post your twitter name and entry nickname in the comments of ONE of our blogs. We will critique as many entries as we can over twitter. They will be general critiques, nothing in-depth. I have no idea how many crits we will be able to do. That all depends on how much time we have left over after formatting everything for the tournament. Be patient with us.
Now, to get to what you've all been waiting for: the Query Kombat kontestants...
Adult Kontestants:Dangerous Politics: Adult Thriller
To Die For: Adult Thriller
Tall Ships and Magic: Adult Historical Fantasy
Mississippi CrazyPants: Women's Fiction
WytchCraft: Adult Urban Fantasy
It's All About the Game: Adult Thriller
Nostalgic Dreamer: Adult Contemp. Romance
Like-Minded Individuals: Adult Thriller
History Hound: Adult Historical Fiction (2nd Entry)
McTavish Academy: Adult Urban Fantasy
Penny Lane Grows up: Women's Fiction
Dr. Thermo: Adult Science Fiction
Sway Me Buble: Women's Fiction
The Decapitator: Adult Urban Fantasy
Meryl-and-I: Women's Fiction
The Fisherman: Adult Literary Suspense
Aztecs in Space: Adult Science Fiction
Zone Tripper: Adult Science Fiction
BeelzebubBasher: Adult Historical Fiction
The Swimmer: Adult Social Science Fiction
Champagne and Hotdogs: Women's Fiction
New Adult Kontestants:Avenging Angel: NA Urban FantasyO Captain, My Captain: NA ContemporaryKicking Ash: NA Fantasy
Young Adult Kontestants:HeadScarfJazz: YA ContemporaryLies and Lovers: YA Contemp. (in verse)Repo Girl: YA ContemporaryBLINDED PASSIONS: Edgy YA Contemp.TheSpaceMafia: YA Science FictionMinna Gray: YA Futuristic FantasyNot Odette: YA FantasyBurrito Thief: YA FantasyElementary Girl: Alt Historical MysteryDAMNED: YA Dark FantasyDreamPirate: YA CrimeAlien Prep School Confidential: YA Science FictionDenali: YA Science FictionMultitude of Death Stars: YA Science FictionSpirit Slayer: YA Southern Gothic
Misfit Apocalypse: YA Science Fiction
Broken Jar: YA Contemporary
The Little Red Head: YA Fantasy
BourneMW: YA Science Fiction
SharkyMalarkey: YA Contemporary
Supergeeker: YA Fantasy
Colorblind: YA Science Fiction
Villainous Wizard: YA Contemporary Fantasy
FistsofFury: YA Thriller
Revenant: YA Urban Fantasy
SugarTales: YA Contemporary
Sillius: YA Contemporary
RedDryad: YA Paranormal Fiction
Tricks aren't for Kids: YA Contemporary
Bridget Meets Georgia in Homage to Jane: YA Romance
Mid-Grade:JungleVendetta: MG Science FictionTroglin Snot: MG FantasyWHISPERING WILLOWS: MG FantasyToo Many Legs to Play Baseball: MG FantasyWishwell: MG ContemporaryP.H.I.L.: MG Magical RealismZombie Barbers: MG ComedyStrongarm Odyssey: MG FantasyOne-Eyed Cat: MG MysteryEye Above You: MG Contemporary
With over 210 entries in our inbox, we had a very tough time choosing who would advance into the tournament. For some, as little as a comma was grounds for elimination. We even had to pass up on some exceptional entries for no reason at all. Just because you didn't make it into the tournament doesn't mean your query or first page isn't good. And just because your query and first page ARE good/great/excellent doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to make them even better and help your fellow writer advance to the next level.
That being said, we hope to help some of you (who didn't make it in the tournament) with your queries. Post your twitter name and entry nickname in the comments of ONE of our blogs. We will critique as many entries as we can over twitter. They will be general critiques, nothing in-depth. I have no idea how many crits we will be able to do. That all depends on how much time we have left over after formatting everything for the tournament. Be patient with us.
Now, to get to what you've all been waiting for: the Query Kombat kontestants...
Adult Kontestants:Dangerous Politics: Adult Thriller
To Die For: Adult Thriller
Tall Ships and Magic: Adult Historical Fantasy
Mississippi CrazyPants: Women's Fiction
WytchCraft: Adult Urban Fantasy
It's All About the Game: Adult Thriller
Nostalgic Dreamer: Adult Contemp. Romance
Like-Minded Individuals: Adult Thriller
History Hound: Adult Historical Fiction (2nd Entry)
McTavish Academy: Adult Urban Fantasy
Penny Lane Grows up: Women's Fiction
Dr. Thermo: Adult Science Fiction
Sway Me Buble: Women's Fiction
The Decapitator: Adult Urban Fantasy
Meryl-and-I: Women's Fiction
The Fisherman: Adult Literary Suspense
Aztecs in Space: Adult Science Fiction
Zone Tripper: Adult Science Fiction
BeelzebubBasher: Adult Historical Fiction
The Swimmer: Adult Social Science Fiction
Champagne and Hotdogs: Women's Fiction
New Adult Kontestants:Avenging Angel: NA Urban FantasyO Captain, My Captain: NA ContemporaryKicking Ash: NA Fantasy
Young Adult Kontestants:HeadScarfJazz: YA ContemporaryLies and Lovers: YA Contemp. (in verse)Repo Girl: YA ContemporaryBLINDED PASSIONS: Edgy YA Contemp.TheSpaceMafia: YA Science FictionMinna Gray: YA Futuristic FantasyNot Odette: YA FantasyBurrito Thief: YA FantasyElementary Girl: Alt Historical MysteryDAMNED: YA Dark FantasyDreamPirate: YA CrimeAlien Prep School Confidential: YA Science FictionDenali: YA Science FictionMultitude of Death Stars: YA Science FictionSpirit Slayer: YA Southern Gothic
Misfit Apocalypse: YA Science Fiction
Broken Jar: YA Contemporary
The Little Red Head: YA Fantasy
BourneMW: YA Science Fiction
SharkyMalarkey: YA Contemporary
Supergeeker: YA Fantasy
Colorblind: YA Science Fiction
Villainous Wizard: YA Contemporary Fantasy
FistsofFury: YA Thriller
Revenant: YA Urban Fantasy
SugarTales: YA Contemporary
Sillius: YA Contemporary
RedDryad: YA Paranormal Fiction
Tricks aren't for Kids: YA Contemporary
Bridget Meets Georgia in Homage to Jane: YA Romance
Mid-Grade:JungleVendetta: MG Science FictionTroglin Snot: MG FantasyWHISPERING WILLOWS: MG FantasyToo Many Legs to Play Baseball: MG FantasyWishwell: MG ContemporaryP.H.I.L.: MG Magical RealismZombie Barbers: MG ComedyStrongarm Odyssey: MG FantasyOne-Eyed Cat: MG MysteryEye Above You: MG Contemporary
May 19, 2013
Query Kombat Judging and Commenting
DATES and ANNOUCEMENT INFO:
We’re (the three hosts, not the royal we) taking a break from our behind the scenes madness to bring you a few rules and regulations on how the actual Query Kombat contest will work so you’ll know what to expect. But first some dates. The post to announce the Kombatants will go live on Friday, May 24 unless we have it ready sooner. (It’s looking likely so we won’t bother mentioning a time. We are narrowing down the spots quickly. Watch twitter for updates.) Nicknames will be used instead of names or book titles so we hope everyone remember theirs. If you have to ask we will feel free to laugh at you. No names will be used in the matchup rounds either, only nicknames.
Regardless of how soon we announce the Kombatants, the first round will start on Tuesday, May 28, right after Memorial Day. Michelle4Laughs will try to post all the match ups by 8:00 am EST, but please don’t rush to comment for reasons we will spell out under the judging section.There will be 64 Kombatants (including three automatic Free Pass winners) and these will be paired into 32 posts for the first round. Yes, we will try to match age categories together, though not genres. (A YA Contemporary may be pitted against a YA Fantasy.) We will try to put all the adult entries into one bracket and so forth. This will totally depend on numbers. As you can imagine, we received a much lesser number of NA entries and a much greater number of YA entries. We’ll do the best we can to make the matchups fair, but we are not limiting our Kombatant picks by requiring so many numbers of each age group. We are picking what we think are the best entries. Remember we are subject to subjective tastes as much as the next person. Great entries will be left out. Unfortunately it is the natural of the game. And eventually, different age category Kombatants will compete against one another.
The matchups (except for age category) will be chosen randomly. We will set the matchups entirely by who the Kombatants are next to in the winning picks file. This means it will probably sort out by the date and time you entered.
In the event a Kombatant has to drop out of Query Kombat there will be two possibilities. If they drop out before the first round begins, they will be replaced with an alternate Kombatant contestant chosen by Mike. (Alternate Kombatants will not be announced beforehand. We don’t want people hoping someone drops out. We may announce them after the contest ends.) If a Kombatant drops out after the contest has started, their opponent automatically advances to the next round. Any Kombatant that receives an offer of representation will please notify us so we may withdraw them. Receiving a full request or partial is not grounds for withdrawal.
After the first round, Kombatant matchups will be determined by the brackets. Kombatants will be randomly assigned to a bracket based on their age category. Again it will come down to your order in our winning picks file.
JUDGING:
Pippin says hi!Our fantastic judges will give their votes under their assumed nicknames in order to be able to vote honestly and freely. Go hereto see the nicknames they have chosen. The voting for the first round will take place from May 28th until June 3rd at 8:00 pm EST. (For more information on the dates of the other rounds go here.) The winners of the first round will be announced on June 4th.
Judges will vote as follows: VICTORY: Kombatant nickname Then they may give more information as to why they voted that way. How much feedback they give is completely up to that judge. There are a lot of entries to read and a lot of rounds to go through. This is a long contest. But we’re sure the judges will do a fantastic job of sharing their thoughts.
To prevent favoritism, the judges have agreed not to vote on matchups where they are close friends to a Kombatant or where they have beta read or critique partnered. Due to the length of this contest, certain judges may sit out a round as needed due to Kombat fatigue.
In the event of a matchup vote tie, the round host will cast the tie-breaker vote. In the first round that will be Michelle4Laughs and so on.
Now here comes the unique and important part! We would like the judges’ votes to be easily located. Therefore, we are asking the judges to place their votes as a replyto the first comment in each matchup post. As soon as all the matchup posts are live, the round host will go through and made a first comment. Something like: This comment is reserved for judges’ votes. Please do not reply to this comment unless you are a judge. Then the judges can do their thing and leave their votes as replies to that comment.
BUT in order for this to work, people cannot rush to comment.The round host has to have time to get the first comment up on all 32 posts of the first round and subsequent rounds. No matter how excited you are to share you feedback, please give the host time to get the first comment done before you comment. Any other first comments but the hosts’ will be deleted.
We understand that everyone is human and votes may not end up in the proper spot. All judges’ votes will count no matter where they end up.
COMMENTING:
Robin says listen up!Due to the nature of the head-to-head competition, commenting is a delicate subject. We don’t want feelings hurt. We don’t want people to go away angry. 32 people will be knocked out in the first round. That is brutal. And like any contest of this nature, the results will be subjective. Wonderful entries will be eliminated. Because not everyone will be seen by an agent, we do want to allow commenting as that may be the only feedback a query and first 250 entry will get.Therefore, especially in the first round, we want a ton of comments. And we want those comments to be super constructive and helpful. In other words, be specific. Don’t just rave about a Kombatant’s entry like a fangirl/guy. Tell us why you liked it. Mention things like the query set out the mc’s motivation and stakes clearly, the query had a super voice, the query was confusing because…, the pages really showed the mc’s personality because…, the page felt flat because…, the concept was unique because…
Please no cheerleading comments in the first round or second round. (Friendly cheerleading will be allowed in the final rounds.) In the early rounds, if you want to cheer on your friends and CPs, do it on twitter. Try and give equal time to both Kombatants in a matchup. Don’t let someone be left out. If you see a matchup that isn’t getting many comments, we ask that you jump in and do your stuff.
We don’t want this contest to only be about fun and agents. We want all the entries to get helpful advice to make their queries and page stronger. Please remember this and be kind and thoughtful. Writers are amazing people. They go out of their way to help. We are sure we can count on you.
Enough preaching. Here are some more commenting rules:
We would like each Kombatant to give feedback on at least 6 matchups. You’re on your honor system here, we won’t be monitoring this. We’ve got enough to do. (lol!) We’d also like each person who entered Query Kombat to leave at least one comment on a matchup, but feel free to do many more! And please we ask that Kombatants who are eliminated, come back and leave comments on the next round. We still want to hear what you think. We need youto make this contest a success!
Kombatants, please don’t comment on your own entry, whether that is to thank people or to explain/rationalize your entry. There will be so many comments that we ask you to wait until the last day of voting to offer thanks or congratulate someone, or leave any other type of comment on your own entry. If you want to thank people before the last day of voting, twitter is the place.
We are counting on there being no hard feeling comments. If there are, they will be deleted. We warned you’ll need a thick skin and it’s true. But we believe this can be done in a friendly manner.
Getting knocked out of the contest or not getting picked is no indication of a story’s quality. After all, we only have snapshots to go upon. All the hosts are very excited for Query Kombat to start, and we hope you are too. Feel free to leave us questions in the comments or just shout out your excitement. Follow us on twitter for more updates. Now back to making picks.
May 10, 2013
Query Kombat Submission Guidelines
I’m so excited because submissions for Query Kombat will start on Monday, May 13th and that’s just a few days away! (Excuse me while I squeal like a crazy person!) Below is a refresher of the submissions guidelines. Take care. Entries sent before the submission window opens will be deleted unopened. Entries that don’t follow the guidelines will also be deleted. Knowing how writers worry, confirmation emails will be sent to ensure we got your submission and it didn’t end up in Siberia.
You should also know that Mike, SC, and I have very different tastes so that should insure a large variety in what makes the contest cut.
Party Time!
But all that is so boringly technical. How about some fun first? If you are chosen for Query Kombat there will be up to eleven judges going through your matchups. The very same cool judges we boasted about last week (here).
Kontestants get to invent amazing nicknames, naturally the judges want one, too! It’s not fair for Kontestants to hog all the fun. So our judges will be commenting and voting as their dual-personality self. To recognize our wonderful judges and know the vote is legit here is a list of the names they’ve chosen:
UltravioletSavageBlue
GoldilocksPepperStorm
HedgehogFlameSacredlbisX-Man(uscript)DragonfireInterrobang
LittleMynx
Who is who? That would be telling, but perhaps you can figure them out. Now, onward to the fine and gory details:
The tournament is open only to unagented writers seeking representation. Your manuscript must be complete, polished, and ready to submit. Submissions for MG, YA, NA, and Adult works will be accepted. No picture books or non-fiction.
The submission window will open at 11AM EST on Monday, May 13th and close at 11AM Friday, May 17th OR WHEN WE RECEIVE 225ENTRIES. You may submit entries for two manuscripts (in the same email) but we will only consider the second entry if less than 64 entries are received. Kontestants will be revealed May 24th and the tournament will kick off on May 28th on Michelle’s blog.
In order to enter the contest you MUST follow formatting guidelines, and submit during the contest window. All entries that follow those guidelines will be considered. In the event that we receive more than the available spots, hosts will be assigned a group of queries and pick the best of their group. We will also select a few alternates. Sixty-four queries will enter into the tournament.
Send entries to: QueryKombat (at) yahoo (dot) com
Formatting guidelines:
Times New Roman, 12pt font, single-spaced with spaces between each paragraph.No indents or tabs.
Subject line of the Email: A short, unique nickname for your entry [colon] your genre (audience included). Do not skip this step or your entry will be deleted. Example:
Happy Hamsters: MG Fantasy
For the nickname, make it as unique as possible so that there are no duplicates. These will be the names used in the tournament brackets and post headings so keep it PG-13 and try to have it relate to your story in some way. Nicknames are limited to 25 characters!
***The four Free Pass winners should include “Free Pass” before their nickname in the subject line to ensure their spot.
In the body of the email (bold where bold):
Name: Michelle Hauck
Email address: MichelleHauck@xxx.com
Entry Nickname: Happy Hamsters
Title: Pygmy Hazards
Word count: 34,000
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
Tom, the classroom hamster, wants to escape from the h-e double hockey sticks known as school. There he’s sentenced to never-ending show ‘n tell, math facts rap, and story time. But he’s learned a lot behind the bars of his cage. The giant in the dress thinks she is running the show, when the chatterbox pygmies are really in control. Playing house during activity time is no job for a tough guy. Somehow Tom has to get away before the pygmies dress him as Strawberry Shortcake again.
When a “subspatoot” fills in for the giant, Tom sees his chance to put Operation Escape the Pygmies into action. He makes a run for the border, hamster style. Bad news. The principal says Tom is a distraction to learning and better off flushed. The way out is turned into a battlefield of snapping mousetraps, sticky snares, and poisoned pellets. Tom seems doomed until a friendless pygmy named Squeezer lends an over-excited hand. Now, the greatest obstacle to his freedom may be Tom’s soft spot for this lonely pygmy.
(Only include the meat of your query. No bio. Queries may be up to 350 words, but 250 is strongly preferred. Names and emails address of Kontestants will not be posted.)
First 250 words:
(Don't include the chapter title and please, don't stop in the middle of a sentence. You may go over the 250 limit to finish a sentence.)
Simple, huh?
All queries submitted are FINAL. We will not edit them in any way, shape, or form. Please read, reread, and rereread your submission before you hit send. Unless you make it into the third round, you will not have another opportunity to edit your query or first 250 words. You have several days to polish your work. Take advantage of it. Competition will be fierce.
Put on your thick skin and get those submissions—Ready! Set! Go on May 13!
You should also know that Mike, SC, and I have very different tastes so that should insure a large variety in what makes the contest cut.
Party Time!But all that is so boringly technical. How about some fun first? If you are chosen for Query Kombat there will be up to eleven judges going through your matchups. The very same cool judges we boasted about last week (here).
Kontestants get to invent amazing nicknames, naturally the judges want one, too! It’s not fair for Kontestants to hog all the fun. So our judges will be commenting and voting as their dual-personality self. To recognize our wonderful judges and know the vote is legit here is a list of the names they’ve chosen:
UltravioletSavageBlue
GoldilocksPepperStorm
HedgehogFlameSacredlbisX-Man(uscript)DragonfireInterrobang
LittleMynx
Who is who? That would be telling, but perhaps you can figure them out. Now, onward to the fine and gory details:
The tournament is open only to unagented writers seeking representation. Your manuscript must be complete, polished, and ready to submit. Submissions for MG, YA, NA, and Adult works will be accepted. No picture books or non-fiction.
The submission window will open at 11AM EST on Monday, May 13th and close at 11AM Friday, May 17th OR WHEN WE RECEIVE 225ENTRIES. You may submit entries for two manuscripts (in the same email) but we will only consider the second entry if less than 64 entries are received. Kontestants will be revealed May 24th and the tournament will kick off on May 28th on Michelle’s blog.
In order to enter the contest you MUST follow formatting guidelines, and submit during the contest window. All entries that follow those guidelines will be considered. In the event that we receive more than the available spots, hosts will be assigned a group of queries and pick the best of their group. We will also select a few alternates. Sixty-four queries will enter into the tournament.
Send entries to: QueryKombat (at) yahoo (dot) com
Formatting guidelines:
Times New Roman, 12pt font, single-spaced with spaces between each paragraph.No indents or tabs.
Subject line of the Email: A short, unique nickname for your entry [colon] your genre (audience included). Do not skip this step or your entry will be deleted. Example:
Happy Hamsters: MG Fantasy
For the nickname, make it as unique as possible so that there are no duplicates. These will be the names used in the tournament brackets and post headings so keep it PG-13 and try to have it relate to your story in some way. Nicknames are limited to 25 characters!
***The four Free Pass winners should include “Free Pass” before their nickname in the subject line to ensure their spot.
In the body of the email (bold where bold):
Name: Michelle Hauck
Email address: MichelleHauck@xxx.com
Entry Nickname: Happy Hamsters
Title: Pygmy Hazards
Word count: 34,000
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
Tom, the classroom hamster, wants to escape from the h-e double hockey sticks known as school. There he’s sentenced to never-ending show ‘n tell, math facts rap, and story time. But he’s learned a lot behind the bars of his cage. The giant in the dress thinks she is running the show, when the chatterbox pygmies are really in control. Playing house during activity time is no job for a tough guy. Somehow Tom has to get away before the pygmies dress him as Strawberry Shortcake again.
When a “subspatoot” fills in for the giant, Tom sees his chance to put Operation Escape the Pygmies into action. He makes a run for the border, hamster style. Bad news. The principal says Tom is a distraction to learning and better off flushed. The way out is turned into a battlefield of snapping mousetraps, sticky snares, and poisoned pellets. Tom seems doomed until a friendless pygmy named Squeezer lends an over-excited hand. Now, the greatest obstacle to his freedom may be Tom’s soft spot for this lonely pygmy.
(Only include the meat of your query. No bio. Queries may be up to 350 words, but 250 is strongly preferred. Names and emails address of Kontestants will not be posted.)
First 250 words:
(Don't include the chapter title and please, don't stop in the middle of a sentence. You may go over the 250 limit to finish a sentence.)
Simple, huh?
All queries submitted are FINAL. We will not edit them in any way, shape, or form. Please read, reread, and rereread your submission before you hit send. Unless you make it into the third round, you will not have another opportunity to edit your query or first 250 words. You have several days to polish your work. Take advantage of it. Competition will be fierce.
Put on your thick skin and get those submissions—Ready! Set! Go on May 13!
May 7, 2013
Getting the Call: Vicki Weavil
If you've ever wondered what a pitch contest can do for you, this story will explain everything.
I'm so excited to be able to bring another dose of inspiration to the blog. It's been quite awhile since I've had a success story to share with you. This success story strikes a double score because my guest found both an agent and a publisher! She's a lady of class and style and also a Query Kombat mentor. It couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Love ya, Vicki!
Long ago, in a town so small that you could stand in the middle of Main Street for ten minutes without worrying that you would be run over…
…a young girl developed an obsession.
As soon as she realized that certain marks on paper indicated words, reading consumed her life. She’d lose herself in books to the point where – as her mother put it – bombs could go off under her chair and she’d never hear them. A trip to the library meant coming home with a stack of at least ten books, because her parents had to drive her to another town to visit the library and they could only do that every two weeks. Teachers didn’t believe that she could read that many books in so few days, and often quizzed her on the plots. (She always proved to them that she’d read the books, of course). She read every genre, every style, great books and some not so wonderful. Fairytales, myths, legends, science fiction, fantasy, classics, mysteries, adventure stories – it really didn’t matter. What mattered was reading, and books.
Fast forward many years, and that girl – after dabbling in music, theatre, design, and other artistic pursuits – eventually found her way into a career that was truly perfect – librarianship. But in all that time she hadn’t done the one thing that she’d always vowed to accomplish. She’d never actually written a book.
She’d written lots of stories and poems and bits and pieces of longer works. She’d even outlined and created background information for several novels. But she had never, ever, completed a novel.
After a while, she decided she probably never would.
But then, something happened. Something that I (and yes, as you have undoubtedly guessed, I was that girl) can’t exactly explain. It all started when I was fifty-five – yes, you read that right – and on a whim I wrote a piece of fan fiction about Doctor Who. I just wanted to write out an idea I had from watching the current series. When it was complete, I posted it on a fan fiction site, just for fun. Well, the strange thing was, I found that writing that piece gave me a sense of accomplishment, a satisfaction, a JOY that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. Then I started getting responses from other readers. Comments that said that they’d been deeply moved, even cried, that they loved the piece and wanted to read more.
So I decided that I was going to write a novel. This time, I was going to do it. I was going to finish a book.
I wrote my first novel, THE LIGHT FROM OTHER SUNS, in less than three months. It was an adult science fiction novel that was far too long and messy, but… I finished it. I then spent some time editing – with the help of some great beta readers and a critique partner – before I decided to query.
I read lots of books on publishing and began querying around February 2012. In March 2012 I found Agent Query Connect (AQC http://agentqueryconnect.com/ ) – a great website for writers – and discovered that I didn’t know what I was doing. At all. So it was back to the drawing board. With a much better query and a growing accumulation of knowledge about the business of publishing, I began querying LIGHT in earnest around May of 2012. While I waited for the agents to demand that I send them my fantastic first novel (hahhah) I wrote a sequel, THE DARK OF OTHER SKIES.
I sent a lot of queries. Over many months. I got nary a nibble of interest. So, despite the fact that I still thought my scifi books were viable, I decided to “shelve” them for a while and try to write something else. Something rather different.
That something was my Young Adult Fantasy, CROWN OF ICE. Based on “The Snow Queen” by Hans Christian Andersen, my retelling focused on the “villain” of his story – the Snow Queen. Only, in my book, she’s seventeen-year-old Thyra Winther, who’s been transformed into the Snow Queen by a ruthless wizard. Brilliant but emotionally damaged, Thyra has only until her eighteenth birthday to reconstruct the wizard’s shattered enchanted mirror or she’ll spend eternity as a mindless, bodiless wraith.
After finishing CROWN OF ICE in the fall of 2012, with edits running into early winter, I entered a few pitch contests and started querying in January 2013.
Here was my Twitter pitch for CROWN OF ICE:
“As the Snow Queen she’s immortal. As a 17yo human Thyra Winther has less than a year to live.”
Based on this pitch, agent Jennifer Mishler from The Literary Counsel --http://www.literarycounsel.com/ -- requested that I send her my query, synopsis, and the first three chapters of the novel. I was delighted to do so.
I was even happier when the partial request turned into a request for the full manuscript.
However, while Jennifer was reading my manuscript, other agents began requesting partials and fulls of CROWN. And – even more surprising – two excellent independent publishers who specialize in YA also requested my manuscript based on my pitch contest entries.
Now, I did not set out to submit to independent publishers while I was querying agents, but I wasn’t about to turn down requests from great small presses.
For a few months I kept querying – and wondering when I’d hear back on the partials and fulls. When one partial and then one full were rejected, I was downcast. But then I received a Revise and Resubmit request from one of the presses and threw myself into editing, based on the editor’s notes. This editor was so helpful and encouraging, I really felt that I had a shot if I undertook the R&R.
But – before I completed the revision I received an email from the other independent press. Their founder and managing editor wanted to talk to me. As in – on the phone. I realized, then, that this was THE CALL.
We talked and that press – Month9Books – offered publication on CROWN OF ICE. After dancing around my house for a while, I contacted the other press (the one with the R&R). They set up a Skype call (THE CALL, part two) and during our discussion they made an offer of publication as well.
Okay. So now I had to inform all the agents who had my partials and fulls. One of these was, of course, Jennifer Mishler at The Literary Counsel. She responded quickly and set up a time for us to talk. (THE CALL, part three).
When Jennifer and I spoke on the phone, I knew that we were on the same wavelength concerning CROWN OF ICE and my writing career. After communicating with the other agents who were reading full or partial manuscripts of CROWN, I was very happy to be able to respond to Jennifer’s offer of representation with a resounding “Yes”.
So I had an agent! Also – two offers of publication. At this point, of course, Jennifer took over the negotiations with the presses. (She also investigated some other options, but felt that these presses were both excellent fits for a debut YA novel. Both are highly regarded and both provide excellent marketing and promotion, beautiful covers, great editing, and lots of support for their authors).
After Jennifer’s negotiations, we decided to accept the offer from Month9Books.
Because Month9Books is interested in looking at a companion novel to CROWN, that will be my next Work-in-Progress, although I also plan to complete the third book in my science fiction trilogy. (Jennifer is willing to read my scifi books to see if she can find a home for them as well).
The big news is that CROWN OF ICE will be published by Month9Books in the fall of 2014 – three years after I began my writing journey.
I couldn’t have done it without my family, friends, beta readers, CP’s, and the wonderful writers at AQC, so – thank you, one and all!
My blog & website: http://www.vickilempweavil.com/
Follow me on Twitter: @VickiLWeavil
Tumblr: http://vickilweavil.tumblr.com/
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/vickilweavil/
I'm so excited to be able to bring another dose of inspiration to the blog. It's been quite awhile since I've had a success story to share with you. This success story strikes a double score because my guest found both an agent and a publisher! She's a lady of class and style and also a Query Kombat mentor. It couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Love ya, Vicki!
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Long ago, in a town so small that you could stand in the middle of Main Street for ten minutes without worrying that you would be run over…
…a young girl developed an obsession.
As soon as she realized that certain marks on paper indicated words, reading consumed her life. She’d lose herself in books to the point where – as her mother put it – bombs could go off under her chair and she’d never hear them. A trip to the library meant coming home with a stack of at least ten books, because her parents had to drive her to another town to visit the library and they could only do that every two weeks. Teachers didn’t believe that she could read that many books in so few days, and often quizzed her on the plots. (She always proved to them that she’d read the books, of course). She read every genre, every style, great books and some not so wonderful. Fairytales, myths, legends, science fiction, fantasy, classics, mysteries, adventure stories – it really didn’t matter. What mattered was reading, and books.
Fast forward many years, and that girl – after dabbling in music, theatre, design, and other artistic pursuits – eventually found her way into a career that was truly perfect – librarianship. But in all that time she hadn’t done the one thing that she’d always vowed to accomplish. She’d never actually written a book.
She’d written lots of stories and poems and bits and pieces of longer works. She’d even outlined and created background information for several novels. But she had never, ever, completed a novel.
After a while, she decided she probably never would.
But then, something happened. Something that I (and yes, as you have undoubtedly guessed, I was that girl) can’t exactly explain. It all started when I was fifty-five – yes, you read that right – and on a whim I wrote a piece of fan fiction about Doctor Who. I just wanted to write out an idea I had from watching the current series. When it was complete, I posted it on a fan fiction site, just for fun. Well, the strange thing was, I found that writing that piece gave me a sense of accomplishment, a satisfaction, a JOY that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. Then I started getting responses from other readers. Comments that said that they’d been deeply moved, even cried, that they loved the piece and wanted to read more.
So I decided that I was going to write a novel. This time, I was going to do it. I was going to finish a book.
I wrote my first novel, THE LIGHT FROM OTHER SUNS, in less than three months. It was an adult science fiction novel that was far too long and messy, but… I finished it. I then spent some time editing – with the help of some great beta readers and a critique partner – before I decided to query.
I read lots of books on publishing and began querying around February 2012. In March 2012 I found Agent Query Connect (AQC http://agentqueryconnect.com/ ) – a great website for writers – and discovered that I didn’t know what I was doing. At all. So it was back to the drawing board. With a much better query and a growing accumulation of knowledge about the business of publishing, I began querying LIGHT in earnest around May of 2012. While I waited for the agents to demand that I send them my fantastic first novel (hahhah) I wrote a sequel, THE DARK OF OTHER SKIES.
I sent a lot of queries. Over many months. I got nary a nibble of interest. So, despite the fact that I still thought my scifi books were viable, I decided to “shelve” them for a while and try to write something else. Something rather different.
That something was my Young Adult Fantasy, CROWN OF ICE. Based on “The Snow Queen” by Hans Christian Andersen, my retelling focused on the “villain” of his story – the Snow Queen. Only, in my book, she’s seventeen-year-old Thyra Winther, who’s been transformed into the Snow Queen by a ruthless wizard. Brilliant but emotionally damaged, Thyra has only until her eighteenth birthday to reconstruct the wizard’s shattered enchanted mirror or she’ll spend eternity as a mindless, bodiless wraith.
After finishing CROWN OF ICE in the fall of 2012, with edits running into early winter, I entered a few pitch contests and started querying in January 2013.
Here was my Twitter pitch for CROWN OF ICE:
“As the Snow Queen she’s immortal. As a 17yo human Thyra Winther has less than a year to live.”
Based on this pitch, agent Jennifer Mishler from The Literary Counsel --http://www.literarycounsel.com/ -- requested that I send her my query, synopsis, and the first three chapters of the novel. I was delighted to do so.
I was even happier when the partial request turned into a request for the full manuscript.
However, while Jennifer was reading my manuscript, other agents began requesting partials and fulls of CROWN. And – even more surprising – two excellent independent publishers who specialize in YA also requested my manuscript based on my pitch contest entries.
Now, I did not set out to submit to independent publishers while I was querying agents, but I wasn’t about to turn down requests from great small presses.
For a few months I kept querying – and wondering when I’d hear back on the partials and fulls. When one partial and then one full were rejected, I was downcast. But then I received a Revise and Resubmit request from one of the presses and threw myself into editing, based on the editor’s notes. This editor was so helpful and encouraging, I really felt that I had a shot if I undertook the R&R.
But – before I completed the revision I received an email from the other independent press. Their founder and managing editor wanted to talk to me. As in – on the phone. I realized, then, that this was THE CALL.
We talked and that press – Month9Books – offered publication on CROWN OF ICE. After dancing around my house for a while, I contacted the other press (the one with the R&R). They set up a Skype call (THE CALL, part two) and during our discussion they made an offer of publication as well.
Okay. So now I had to inform all the agents who had my partials and fulls. One of these was, of course, Jennifer Mishler at The Literary Counsel. She responded quickly and set up a time for us to talk. (THE CALL, part three).
When Jennifer and I spoke on the phone, I knew that we were on the same wavelength concerning CROWN OF ICE and my writing career. After communicating with the other agents who were reading full or partial manuscripts of CROWN, I was very happy to be able to respond to Jennifer’s offer of representation with a resounding “Yes”.
So I had an agent! Also – two offers of publication. At this point, of course, Jennifer took over the negotiations with the presses. (She also investigated some other options, but felt that these presses were both excellent fits for a debut YA novel. Both are highly regarded and both provide excellent marketing and promotion, beautiful covers, great editing, and lots of support for their authors).
After Jennifer’s negotiations, we decided to accept the offer from Month9Books.
Because Month9Books is interested in looking at a companion novel to CROWN, that will be my next Work-in-Progress, although I also plan to complete the third book in my science fiction trilogy. (Jennifer is willing to read my scifi books to see if she can find a home for them as well).
The big news is that CROWN OF ICE will be published by Month9Books in the fall of 2014 – three years after I began my writing journey.
I couldn’t have done it without my family, friends, beta readers, CP’s, and the wonderful writers at AQC, so – thank you, one and all!
My blog & website: http://www.vickilempweavil.com/
Follow me on Twitter: @VickiLWeavil
Tumblr: http://vickilweavil.tumblr.com/
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/vickilweavil/
May 4, 2013
My Death Notice
In response to a game inviting people to postmortem their writing friends, I received this from Sean Jenan:
Michelle Hauck just emailed me to inform me of her untimely death (Ironic isn't it? Turns out aol accounts are the only ones they use in the afterlife! Use gmail? You're SOL!)
Many of you know how many times Michelle's query letters have driven agents from their jobs, and even proven fatal. Crafted from the very pages of the Necronomicon, spun with the ancient lore of Cthulhu and Yog-Sothoth, they are letters that drive mortals to madness and death. It seems Michelle was tinkering with her query letter for Pygmy Hazards, and in order to check the formatting, decided to send it to herself. It was not an inbox item she would survive.
Clicking on the letter, not realizing the danger, Michelle unleashed its dark magic. An enormous cardboard sword fell from the shelf above her desk straight toward her neck. It was a full-scale mockup of her Kindar artwork, sent to her by Divertir just last week to celebrate the upcoming release of Kindar's Cure. But those were happier times. According to Sheriff P. T. Rickley, the papercut was the worst one he's seen in twenty-three years on the force.
Michelle is survived by a husband, two children, a talking hamster, and an empty rabbit hutch. Her class full of pygmies have agreed to read chapters for her many critique partners.
Yes, I still use AOL for my email. And yes, I seem to be cursed to drive agents from their jobs (I cannot deny there was a death involved) after requesting a partial. But I deny being fixated by swords. Nor do I talk to hamsters. Anymore.
My Death Notice spun by Sean Jenan
In response to a game inviting people to postmortem their writing friends, I received this:
Michelle Hauck just emailed me to inform me of her untimely death (Ironic isn't it? Turns out aol accounts are the only ones they use in the afterlife! Use gmail? You're SOL!)
Many of you know how many times Michelle's query letters have driven agents from their jobs, and even proven fatal. Crafted from the very pages of the Necronomicon, spun with the ancient lore of Cthulhu and Yog-Sothoth, they are letters that drive mortals to madness and death. It seems Michelle was tinkering with her query letter for Pygmy Hazards, and in order to check the formatting, decided to send it to herself. It was not an inbox item she would survive.
Clicking on the letter, not realizing the danger, Michelle unleashed its dark magic. An enormous cardboard sword fell from the shelf above her desk straight toward her neck. It was a full-scale mockup of her Kindar artwork, sent to her by Divertir just last week to celebrate the upcoming release of Kindar's Cure. But those were happier times. According to Sheriff P. T. Rickley, the papercut was the worst one he's seen in twenty-three years on the force.
Michelle is survived by a husband, two children, a talking hamster, and an empty rabbit hutch. Her class full of pygmies have agreed to read chapters for her many critique partners.
Yes, I still use AOL for my email. And yes, I seem to be cursed to drive agents from their jobs (I cannot deny there was a death involved) after requesting a partial. But I deny being fixated by swords. Nor do I talk to hamsters. Anymore.
May 2, 2013
Writers Voice Pitch
Contests! Contests! There can never be too many contests! Since I can't enter my hamsters into Query Kombat (hosting!), I was double lucky to get into the first round of The Writers Voice!
Query:
Dear Writers Voice Magnificent Coaches:
Tom, the classroom hamster, wants to escape from the h-e double hockey sticks otherwise known as school. There he’s sentenced to never-ending show ‘n tell, math facts rap, and story time. But he’s learned a lot behind the bars of his cage. The giant in the dress thinks she is running this army, when the chatterbox pygmies are really in control. Playing house during activity time isn’t like Tom’s old military pet shop days. Somehow he has to get away before the pygmies dress him as Strawberry Shortcake again.
When a “subspatoot” fills in for the giant, Tom sees his chance to put Operation Escape the Pygmies into action. He makes a run for the border, hamster style. Bad news. The principal says Tom is a distraction to learning and better off flushed. The way out is turned into a battlefield of snapping mousetraps, sticky snares, and poisoned pellets. Tom seems doomed until a friendless pygmy named Squeezer lends an over-excited hand. Now, the greatest obstacle to his freedom may be Tom’s soft spot for this lonely pygmy.
PYGMY HAZARDS is a MG fantasy complete at 34,000 words.
First 250:
Tom stared between the bars of his two-foot rectangular prison in the corner of the classroom. Close by, fellow prisoner Jerry the Third hunkered near their water bottle, chewing on a Kleenex box. There had been no brochure telling Tom what to expect when he was snapped up from the animal menagerie store two months ago. And if there was, he wouldn’t have believed it. Tom shook his head with a sigh, and then refocused on his guard duty. Across the room, the pygmies sat in a circle on the floor, their two legs bent crisscross applesauce, as they passed around a stuffed rabbit. The giant in the ugly brown and purple striped dress at their center had a look of patience plastered on her face.One of the pygmies, Squeezer, held the rabbit. She gave it a shake so that its long ears flung in every direction. Tom winced and fingered his own neck. “Now that I’m seven, my mommy says I’m a big girl,” Squeezer said. “And when I’m eight, I’m going to marry Joey.”The pygmy with red hair and freckles, sat up taller. “Not happening.”“It’s my birthday. I’ve decided,” Squeezer hissed.The giant cleared her throat. “Please pass Mr. Flopsey, Maggie. You’ve told us all about your birthday. Now your turn is over.”Squeezer scowled, then threw the rabbit over. Tom turned to whisper to Jerry. “When the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the three, we make a break for it, recruit.”
Query:
Dear Writers Voice Magnificent Coaches:
Tom, the classroom hamster, wants to escape from the h-e double hockey sticks otherwise known as school. There he’s sentenced to never-ending show ‘n tell, math facts rap, and story time. But he’s learned a lot behind the bars of his cage. The giant in the dress thinks she is running this army, when the chatterbox pygmies are really in control. Playing house during activity time isn’t like Tom’s old military pet shop days. Somehow he has to get away before the pygmies dress him as Strawberry Shortcake again.
When a “subspatoot” fills in for the giant, Tom sees his chance to put Operation Escape the Pygmies into action. He makes a run for the border, hamster style. Bad news. The principal says Tom is a distraction to learning and better off flushed. The way out is turned into a battlefield of snapping mousetraps, sticky snares, and poisoned pellets. Tom seems doomed until a friendless pygmy named Squeezer lends an over-excited hand. Now, the greatest obstacle to his freedom may be Tom’s soft spot for this lonely pygmy.
PYGMY HAZARDS is a MG fantasy complete at 34,000 words.
First 250:
Tom stared between the bars of his two-foot rectangular prison in the corner of the classroom. Close by, fellow prisoner Jerry the Third hunkered near their water bottle, chewing on a Kleenex box. There had been no brochure telling Tom what to expect when he was snapped up from the animal menagerie store two months ago. And if there was, he wouldn’t have believed it. Tom shook his head with a sigh, and then refocused on his guard duty. Across the room, the pygmies sat in a circle on the floor, their two legs bent crisscross applesauce, as they passed around a stuffed rabbit. The giant in the ugly brown and purple striped dress at their center had a look of patience plastered on her face.One of the pygmies, Squeezer, held the rabbit. She gave it a shake so that its long ears flung in every direction. Tom winced and fingered his own neck. “Now that I’m seven, my mommy says I’m a big girl,” Squeezer said. “And when I’m eight, I’m going to marry Joey.”The pygmy with red hair and freckles, sat up taller. “Not happening.”“It’s my birthday. I’ve decided,” Squeezer hissed.The giant cleared her throat. “Please pass Mr. Flopsey, Maggie. You’ve told us all about your birthday. Now your turn is over.”Squeezer scowled, then threw the rabbit over. Tom turned to whisper to Jerry. “When the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the three, we make a break for it, recruit.”
