Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 127
October 23, 2013
Query Questions with Stacey Donaghy
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
So glad to have Stacey Donaghy of the Donaghy Literary Group! Stacey was recommended by a request on twitter. If you have a favorite agent you want interviewed, hit me up on twitter.
Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
It really depends on the agency and what their submission guideline page indicates. Often agents will close to queries during holidays, such as Christmas. It is important to pay attention to the details on the agency site.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Not at all! I would prefer error free but would never turn a writer away because of a typo. If the entire query is filled with SPAG I would be concerned about the state of the manuscript.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
It really depends on the story being presented and whether or not the overall premise appeals to me as an agent. If I love the story concept but the query is not strong, I will read through the sample pages to get a better sense of the writing.
Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?
I currently review all queries sent to me. This could change at some point, but for now I prefer to review on my own. So please be patient if you have queried me.
If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?
The short answer is yes. The longer answer is that many writers use prologues when they are not necessary. Something that you may want to consider is- whether your story really needs a prologue before submitting your work.
Some agencies mention querying only one agent at a time and some say query only one agent period. How often do you pass a query along to a fellow agent who might be more interested?
I will always pass a query or manuscript to another agent if it does not fit my list. I recently shared a manuscript with a colleague at another agency because it was outside of my genre list but an excellent read, and I knew it would fit her list.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
There is nothing wrong with being personable when querying an agent. That said I really want to hear about the manuscript!
Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?
It is not a ''red flag" it is more of a need to know. Genre and word count are very important to include. You could have a really interesting YA but your word count could be way above what’s acceptable for this category. This could indicate that your manuscript is not yet ready to submit, and may require a great deal of editing to get it where it needs to be. That said I would want to know this important detail before I spend time reviewing.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
Not at all! I represent two well-known authors both of whom started with self-published books.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
Best guess 50-80 approximately 10%, it depends on what comes in that week.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
Social media is great exposure for writers if utilized properly, and not for spamming people to death. It is important to have a vehicle for your marketing efforts. I think if a writer has a great book written, and they have a strong presence on social media- word of mouth can help to get a story noticed!
Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?
It is more than acceptable to include a link with your signature. It is never a good idea to send a query telling an agent to click on the link to learn more.
What bio should an author with no publishing credits include?
Your education, and or profession, why you are the ideal person to write this story and anything that would be relevant to your writing or chosen genre.
What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?
It means that it may not fit my list, or that the story includes elements that I am not in love with.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
Special Academy Schools- super power or paranormal teens live at school and are training to save the world.Angels – guardian and fallen, unless along the lines of City of Angels JWerewolf stories –hot guy looking for Alpha
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?
“I have a story that is going to be huge; it’s going to make us rich. I am writing exclusively to you and no one else because I believe that you are the best agent to represent my story.”
This was mass emailed to many agents at the same time.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
New AdultYARomance (not historical)
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
Oh No! This may not help you at all!
I don’t like doing this because my tastes are so eclectic in terms of what I read and watch. That you cannot really go by this list. If you have a unique story that you think I will like and it fits my list, please feel free to query.
This is only a snap shot of what I like:
Movies/TV: The Vampire Diaries, Twilight movies (yes I like them), The Lovely Bones, Grace of my Heart, Seven, The Usual Suspects, Good Will Hunting, As Good As It Gets, The Truman Show, Meet Joe Black, The Matrix, Ghost, Sleepless in Seattle, While You Were Sleeping, Bed of Roses, City of Angels, The Butterfly Affect, If Lucy Fell
Books:
Book Titles: Beautiful Disaster, To Kill a Mocking Bird, The Outsiders, Lord of the Flies, Flowers for Algernon, 1984, The Time Traveller’s Wife, Pride and Prejudice, The Hunger Games
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stacey Donaghy is a strong advocate for her writers.
With over twenty-two years of experience and formal training in Adult Education, Management, and Social Services, Stacey brings a wealth of technical and professional experience to the literary world. As a manager in the field of Education & Training, her roles have included people management, curriculum development, academic editing, marketing, creative design, publishing, proposal writing, contract negotiations and public speaking. Her training includes Principled Negotiation Techniques as it applies to relationships and contracts.
Some of Stacey's first-time and self-published authors are bestsellers.
Stacey is a former agent of the Corvisiero Literary Agency in New York.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
So glad to have Stacey Donaghy of the Donaghy Literary Group! Stacey was recommended by a request on twitter. If you have a favorite agent you want interviewed, hit me up on twitter.
Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
It really depends on the agency and what their submission guideline page indicates. Often agents will close to queries during holidays, such as Christmas. It is important to pay attention to the details on the agency site.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Not at all! I would prefer error free but would never turn a writer away because of a typo. If the entire query is filled with SPAG I would be concerned about the state of the manuscript.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
It really depends on the story being presented and whether or not the overall premise appeals to me as an agent. If I love the story concept but the query is not strong, I will read through the sample pages to get a better sense of the writing.
Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?
I currently review all queries sent to me. This could change at some point, but for now I prefer to review on my own. So please be patient if you have queried me.
If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?
The short answer is yes. The longer answer is that many writers use prologues when they are not necessary. Something that you may want to consider is- whether your story really needs a prologue before submitting your work.
Some agencies mention querying only one agent at a time and some say query only one agent period. How often do you pass a query along to a fellow agent who might be more interested?
I will always pass a query or manuscript to another agent if it does not fit my list. I recently shared a manuscript with a colleague at another agency because it was outside of my genre list but an excellent read, and I knew it would fit her list.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
There is nothing wrong with being personable when querying an agent. That said I really want to hear about the manuscript!
Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?
It is not a ''red flag" it is more of a need to know. Genre and word count are very important to include. You could have a really interesting YA but your word count could be way above what’s acceptable for this category. This could indicate that your manuscript is not yet ready to submit, and may require a great deal of editing to get it where it needs to be. That said I would want to know this important detail before I spend time reviewing.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
Not at all! I represent two well-known authors both of whom started with self-published books.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
Best guess 50-80 approximately 10%, it depends on what comes in that week.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
Social media is great exposure for writers if utilized properly, and not for spamming people to death. It is important to have a vehicle for your marketing efforts. I think if a writer has a great book written, and they have a strong presence on social media- word of mouth can help to get a story noticed!
Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?
It is more than acceptable to include a link with your signature. It is never a good idea to send a query telling an agent to click on the link to learn more.
What bio should an author with no publishing credits include?
Your education, and or profession, why you are the ideal person to write this story and anything that would be relevant to your writing or chosen genre.
What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?
It means that it may not fit my list, or that the story includes elements that I am not in love with.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
Special Academy Schools- super power or paranormal teens live at school and are training to save the world.Angels – guardian and fallen, unless along the lines of City of Angels JWerewolf stories –hot guy looking for Alpha
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?
“I have a story that is going to be huge; it’s going to make us rich. I am writing exclusively to you and no one else because I believe that you are the best agent to represent my story.”
This was mass emailed to many agents at the same time.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
New AdultYARomance (not historical)
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
Oh No! This may not help you at all!
I don’t like doing this because my tastes are so eclectic in terms of what I read and watch. That you cannot really go by this list. If you have a unique story that you think I will like and it fits my list, please feel free to query.
This is only a snap shot of what I like:
Movies/TV: The Vampire Diaries, Twilight movies (yes I like them), The Lovely Bones, Grace of my Heart, Seven, The Usual Suspects, Good Will Hunting, As Good As It Gets, The Truman Show, Meet Joe Black, The Matrix, Ghost, Sleepless in Seattle, While You Were Sleeping, Bed of Roses, City of Angels, The Butterfly Affect, If Lucy Fell
Books:
Book Titles: Beautiful Disaster, To Kill a Mocking Bird, The Outsiders, Lord of the Flies, Flowers for Algernon, 1984, The Time Traveller’s Wife, Pride and Prejudice, The Hunger Games
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stacey Donaghy is a strong advocate for her writers.
With over twenty-two years of experience and formal training in Adult Education, Management, and Social Services, Stacey brings a wealth of technical and professional experience to the literary world. As a manager in the field of Education & Training, her roles have included people management, curriculum development, academic editing, marketing, creative design, publishing, proposal writing, contract negotiations and public speaking. Her training includes Principled Negotiation Techniques as it applies to relationships and contracts.
Some of Stacey's first-time and self-published authors are bestsellers.
Stacey is a former agent of the Corvisiero Literary Agency in New York.
October 22, 2013
Fall Query Extravaganza 4
I'll be doing a limited number of query critiques this fall.
Right now I'm full up with queries but contact me in November on twitter if you want your query showcased. Participants must comment on as many queries as they can to pay it forward. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear God-like Agent:
After modern goddess Pandia travels through time and flirts with Julius Caesar, Cleopatra complains to the gods. Pandia’s father, Zeus, is tired of complaints about his daughter, and sentences her to community service in Italy. He’ll commute her sentence when she shows she values mortals more than herself. Before she leaves, he makes her vow to observe, and remain uninvolved.
Pandia’s not worried about her punishment. She’ll show Daddy she respects mortals and have some fun with handsome young men while she’s doing her time. To her surprise, Zeus doesn’t send her to modern Italy to mend her ways. Pandia’s stripped of her goddess power and sent to ancient Pompeii. When a misplaced knee connects with a lecherous official, the official enslaves Pandia in the gladiator barracks. Another mishap lands her in the local amphitheater’s center ring, a swarthy gladiator named Caladus by her side.
To escape Pompeii, Pandia will have to prove she’s learned her lesson. But showing Daddy she values mortals is way harder than she thought. Worse, Caladus is making her reconsider her vow. And Mt. Vesuvius is rumbling.
TWIST OF FATE is a NA Time Travel Romance, complete at 73,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
With crazy added comments:
Dear God-like Agent: Perfect
After modern goddess Pandia travels through time and flirts with Julius Caesar, Cleopatra complains to the gods. I'm liking the humor of this, but I'm not certain what a modern goddess is. Or, the meaning didn't strike me immediately, though I get it now. Maybe: After thoroughly-21st-century goddess, Pandia ... Pandia’s father, Zeus, is tired of complaints about his daughter, and sentences her to community service in Italy. He’ll commute her sentence when she shows demonstrates? she values mortals more than herself. That would be a new trait for the gods. Never heard of them being too concerned for mortals before. Before she leaves, he makes her vow to observe, and remain uninvolved. Wouldn't that make it hard for her to get her sentence commuted?
Pandia’s not worried about her punishment. She’ll show Daddy she respects mortals and have some fun with handsome young men while she’s doing her time. To her surprise, Zeus doesn’t send her to modern Italy to mend her ways. Pandia’s stripped of her goddess power and sent to ancient Pompeii. I'd end the paragraph here and move the next part down. But maybe tack something witty on the end first. No cell phones, no fashion sense, and no flitting wherever she chooses. Something that shows her priorities a little better. When a misplaced knee connects with a lecherous official, the official enslaves Pandia in the gladiator barracks. Another mishap lands her in the local amphitheater’s center ring, a swarthy gladiator named Caladus by her side.
To escape Pompeii, Pandia will have to prove she’s learned her lesson. But showing Daddy she values mortals is way harder than she thought. Worse, Caladus is making her reconsider her vow. And Mt. Vesuvius is rumbling. Ha! Adorable!
TWIST OF FATE is a NA Time Travel Romance, complete at 73,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration. The classic ending!
This query sold me. Chalk it up to subjectivity, but I'd read this in a flash! It has voice and humor, sets the stakes well. Maybe a touch more of what motivates Pandia and I'm sold.
October 21, 2013
Michelle's Minions Are:
I thought I'd give you something to chew over. The Minions I pick have to be ready for some of this:
Not to mention this:
And, well, I just can't resist this:
In no particular order my picks include:
MG somethingYA thrillerMG something elseAdult SpeculativeYA ParanormalNA ContemporaryYA SteampunkYA HorrorYA MulticulturalSomething Science Fiction
*The somethings have been changed to protect the innocent. Or because the genre was too unique.
This was a great bunch of entries which made for a very difficult decision. Please remember that contests are very subjective. For instance, I tend to run from serious subjects so having humor in your first page was going to be a big influence on me.
Is anyone having fun, because I'm having a great time.
Oh, and I hope we have a ton of success stories to report from Nightmare on Query Street! Hang in there, it will be Friday before you know it.
Not to mention this:
And, well, I just can't resist this:
In no particular order my picks include:
MG somethingYA thrillerMG something elseAdult SpeculativeYA ParanormalNA ContemporaryYA SteampunkYA HorrorYA MulticulturalSomething Science Fiction
*The somethings have been changed to protect the innocent. Or because the genre was too unique.
This was a great bunch of entries which made for a very difficult decision. Please remember that contests are very subjective. For instance, I tend to run from serious subjects so having humor in your first page was going to be a big influence on me.
Is anyone having fun, because I'm having a great time.
Oh, and I hope we have a ton of success stories to report from Nightmare on Query Street! Hang in there, it will be Friday before you know it.
Valuable Links -Grammar Answers
As a finance major living in an English major's world, I have a lot of questions. Need to know when to place a hyphen?
Whether you mean 'affect' or 'effect'?
Whether to use 'that' or 'which'?
Does a question mark go inside quotes or outside?
Why a gerund sentence should be avoided.
Commas! Where do they belong?
Need I say more.
Grammar Girl is your solution for quick and dirty tips to often asked grammar questions.
Whether you mean 'affect' or 'effect'?
Whether to use 'that' or 'which'?
Does a question mark go inside quotes or outside?
Why a gerund sentence should be avoided.
Commas! Where do they belong?
Need I say more.
Grammar Girl is your solution for quick and dirty tips to often asked grammar questions.
October 18, 2013
NIGHTMARE ON QUERY STREET SUBMISSIONS!
ARE YOU READY?
The submission window opens at 12 noon (EST) on SATURDAY, October 19th! The window will close at 8pm or when we receive 100 entries, so please send early, but not before 12 noon. Early entries will be deleted.
We are accepting all age categories and genres, excluding picture books and exotica. Despite the title of the contest, your book does not have to be horror.
Michelle, Mike, and SC will make ten picks each for their teams, and those ten picks will go up on our blogs from October 25th through the 27th, where agents will make requests! Check the NINE agents to see if they accept your genre.
To participate, you have to be following all our blogs (Michelle, Mike, and SC).
The Format:
Send your one and only submission to nightmareonquerystreet (at) yahoo (dot) com. Only one submission per email address or person is allowed.
Here's how it should be formatted (yes, include the bolded and everything!) Please use Times New Roman (or equivalent), 12 pt font, and put spaces between paragraphs. No indents or tabs are needed. No worries if your gmail doesn't have Times New Roman.
Subject Line: NOQS: TITLE, Age Category + Genre (example: NOQS: PYGMY HAZARDS, MG Fantasy)
In The Email:
Title: MY FANTASTIC BOOK (yes, caps!)Genre: YA dystopian (Age category and genre. YA/MG is not a genre.)Word Count: XX,XXX
My Main Character's Greatest Fear:
My MC fears potatoes. (Can be in your MC's POV, but doesn't have to be. 100 words or less.)
Query:
Here is my fantastic query! Include it all, even the bio, greeting, closing.
First 250 words:
Here are the first 250 words of my manuscript, and I will not end in the middle of a sentence, even if I hit 259 words :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Conformation emails will be sent. If you don't get one, ask one of us on twitter. Submissions will cut off after 100 entries. We'll announce closure of submissions on twitter.
Again, the picks will go live on October 25th. You'll have to check the blogs to see if you are part of Mike's Monsters, Michelle's Minions, or SC's Spooks.
Please do not comment on the entries! No cheerleading this time. Agents will:
scream for a full request
shriek for 50 pages
Shiver for 10 pages
Good luck!
Feel free to leave questions in the comments or on twitter.
October 17, 2013
Fall Query Extravaganza #3
I'll be doing a limited number of query critiques this fall.
Right now I'm full up with queries but contact me in November on twitter if you want your query showcased. Participants must comment on as many queries as they can to pay it forward. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear Awesome Agent
In the realm of Wyverndawn, a wizard’s height is the mark of his power, and shrinking one inch is disastrous for twelve-year-old Gerald.
Looking to gain an inch or two, Gerald decides a little landscaping is just what his village needs. But the spell he bought - from a guy who knows a guy - is a tad more powerful than even he anticipates. The resulting earthquake breaks off a chunk of Wyverndawn from the rest of the realm allowing Vabalaz, a highly dangerous wizard, to escape from prison.
A red-faced Gerald is banished from his village and, to complete his shame, shrinks another inch; two more and he’ll join his father as a Royal Equine Poop Disposal Coordinator. Gerald’s love of shiny wizarding objects leads him straight to a golden amulet that could be the answer to his problems. But when Vabalaz discovers it may also be the key to creating his dream wizard realm, the hunt is on.
Gerald’s hopes of returning home hinge on repairing the damage to Wyverndawn and thwarting Vabalaz’s plans. But he could really do without fighting off bumbling bandits, dealing with a very smelly Orcling and evading a female elven assassin. Failure could mean Gerald’s next spell might very well be his last.
GERALD AND THE AMULET OF ZONRACH is a Humorous, Upper MG, Fantasy. It is complete at 77,000 words. Similar in tone to Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, younger readers would enjoy this novel of the trials of an inexperienced wizard who manages to turn everything he touches into chaos.
With my crazy comments:
Dear Awesome Agent (colon)
In the realm of Wyverndawn, a wizard’s height (a wizard's height indicates his power) is the mark of his power, (I'm not sure this comma is needed. Readers, what do you think?) and shrinking one inch is disastrous for twelve-year-old Gerald.
Looking to gain an inch or two, Gerald decides a little landscaping is just what his village needs. But the spell he bought - from a guy who knows a guy - is a tad more powerful than even(I think I'd strike 'even.' Even implies he's talked it over with others.) he anticipates. The resulting earthquake breaks off a chunk of Wyverndawn from the rest of the realm allowing Vabalaz, a highly dangerous wizard, to escape from (Cut 'from' or use 'his.') prison.
A red-faced Gerald is banished from his village and, to complete his shame, shrinks another inch; two more and he’ll join his (an adjective like bumbling or failure) father as a Royal Equine Poop Disposal Coordinator. Gerald’s love of shiny wizarding objects leads him straight to a golden amulet that could be the answer to his problems. But when Vabalaz discovers it may also be the key to creating his dream wizard realm, the hunt is on. 'Leads him straight' made me think Gerald already had the amulet. Why would he need to hunt for it?
Also Vabalaz's motivation is vague. How is his dream wizard realm different from Gerald's dreams? Or simply, why would it be bad?
Gerald’s hopes of returning home hinge on repairing the damage to Wyverndawn and thwarting Vabalaz’s plans. But he could really do without fighting off bumbling bandits, dealing with a very smelly Orcling and evading a female elven assassin. (Not sure 'female' is needed. Unless Gerald is opposed to females like many boys his age. ... evading a female--yuck--elven assassin.) Failure could mean Gerald’s next spell might very well be his last. Nice setting of the stakes.
GERALD AND THE AMULET OF ZONRACH is a Humorous, Upper MG, Fantasy. It is complete at 77,000 words. Similar in tone to Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, younger readers would enjoy this novel of it features the trials of an inexperienced wizard who manages to turn everything he touches into chaos. I did get a sense of chaos from the opening parts of the query.
I should mention that I've seen this query around. This version feels very strong to me. It does make me think fun and middle grade. My only comments were more on the subjective word choice side. Good luck.
Right now I'm full up with queries but contact me in November on twitter if you want your query showcased. Participants must comment on as many queries as they can to pay it forward. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear Awesome Agent
In the realm of Wyverndawn, a wizard’s height is the mark of his power, and shrinking one inch is disastrous for twelve-year-old Gerald.
Looking to gain an inch or two, Gerald decides a little landscaping is just what his village needs. But the spell he bought - from a guy who knows a guy - is a tad more powerful than even he anticipates. The resulting earthquake breaks off a chunk of Wyverndawn from the rest of the realm allowing Vabalaz, a highly dangerous wizard, to escape from prison.
A red-faced Gerald is banished from his village and, to complete his shame, shrinks another inch; two more and he’ll join his father as a Royal Equine Poop Disposal Coordinator. Gerald’s love of shiny wizarding objects leads him straight to a golden amulet that could be the answer to his problems. But when Vabalaz discovers it may also be the key to creating his dream wizard realm, the hunt is on.
Gerald’s hopes of returning home hinge on repairing the damage to Wyverndawn and thwarting Vabalaz’s plans. But he could really do without fighting off bumbling bandits, dealing with a very smelly Orcling and evading a female elven assassin. Failure could mean Gerald’s next spell might very well be his last.
GERALD AND THE AMULET OF ZONRACH is a Humorous, Upper MG, Fantasy. It is complete at 77,000 words. Similar in tone to Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, younger readers would enjoy this novel of the trials of an inexperienced wizard who manages to turn everything he touches into chaos.
With my crazy comments:
Dear Awesome Agent (colon)
In the realm of Wyverndawn, a wizard’s height (a wizard's height indicates his power) is the mark of his power, (I'm not sure this comma is needed. Readers, what do you think?) and shrinking one inch is disastrous for twelve-year-old Gerald.
Looking to gain an inch or two, Gerald decides a little landscaping is just what his village needs. But the spell he bought - from a guy who knows a guy - is a tad more powerful than even(I think I'd strike 'even.' Even implies he's talked it over with others.) he anticipates. The resulting earthquake breaks off a chunk of Wyverndawn from the rest of the realm allowing Vabalaz, a highly dangerous wizard, to escape from (Cut 'from' or use 'his.') prison.
A red-faced Gerald is banished from his village and, to complete his shame, shrinks another inch; two more and he’ll join his (an adjective like bumbling or failure) father as a Royal Equine Poop Disposal Coordinator. Gerald’s love of shiny wizarding objects leads him straight to a golden amulet that could be the answer to his problems. But when Vabalaz discovers it may also be the key to creating his dream wizard realm, the hunt is on. 'Leads him straight' made me think Gerald already had the amulet. Why would he need to hunt for it?
Also Vabalaz's motivation is vague. How is his dream wizard realm different from Gerald's dreams? Or simply, why would it be bad?
Gerald’s hopes of returning home hinge on repairing the damage to Wyverndawn and thwarting Vabalaz’s plans. But he could really do without fighting off bumbling bandits, dealing with a very smelly Orcling and evading a female elven assassin. (Not sure 'female' is needed. Unless Gerald is opposed to females like many boys his age. ... evading a female--yuck--elven assassin.) Failure could mean Gerald’s next spell might very well be his last. Nice setting of the stakes.
GERALD AND THE AMULET OF ZONRACH is a Humorous, Upper MG, Fantasy. It is complete at 77,000 words. Similar in tone to Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, younger readers would enjoy this novel of it features the trials of an inexperienced wizard who manages to turn everything he touches into chaos. I did get a sense of chaos from the opening parts of the query.
I should mention that I've seen this query around. This version feels very strong to me. It does make me think fun and middle grade. My only comments were more on the subjective word choice side. Good luck.
October 16, 2013
Getting the Call: Ami Allen-Vath
This post has me jumping up and down, because ... because I had a hand in making a writer's dreams come true!! Ami found this agent through one of my Query Questions Interviews!!! But here is the story in her own words:
In March of 2013, I wrote my very first query for my YA Contemporary novel, PROM B*TCH.
I was all, Hey this thing is pretty good—it totally makes me want to read this book! But, just to make sure, I posted it on the query critique forum of AQC, Agent Query Connect. I prepared myself for a ginormous sea of query high fives and people posting things like, “send that shizz out—like yesterday!” Ummmm, nope.
Wait, whaaat? Oh, gosh. Okay. Gulp. My query wasn’t ready. Not even close. It wasn’t even a bad one yet. That’s because it wasn’t even to the status of being an actual query. It was more like I took a synopsisy vomit and named it “Query.” There was a whole lotta “Hey this is gonna be fun and crazy cuz this happens, then this, then this, and whoa-whoa-whoa--then THIS! And you can read to find out what else!”
After a whoooole lot of revisions, I sent it off. I started with a batch of eight or so, and then, feeling more confident when a few full requests came in the first week, I sent off another handful. Every time I pressed send, I’d get a little high—and a feeling of sheer throat-punching panic. Wait—did I send it to the right address? Did it go through? Did I use the wrong last name and was the personalization portion proof read enough times? Lemme go back and check.
Erp. I did mess up an agent’s last name once. I changed the personalization but kept the most recently queried agent’s last name. I sent a new one.
I started reading “How I got my Agent Stories” like nobody’s business. Looking for inspiration and well, just to know “what to expect when you’re expecting to get an agent offer.” It was the same kind of deal when I was trying to get pregnant a few years back. Reading everything I could read, looking for secret handshakes and averages and overall, hope. I started to read more about writers getting an agent after shelving one to five books and/or after 100 and some queries. Wow. That kind of knocked my bra off. I wondered how high I’d query until putting my ms aside. How would I know when to quit? And wait, Are there even 100 agents to query? Or are people just querying every single agent in the universe?
Turns out there are that many agents and a few hundred more. And on paper, as far as I knew, reputable, good ones. Currently, there are 1285 agents on QueryTracker and 452 that are looking for YA. It’s up to you to do further research to find out if those agents are interested in your genre and the other hidden gems your manuscript may hold. I used QueryTrackerobsessively religiously to keep track of and research agents. I’d also read about agents from forums and blog posts. Once I’d check out the agency website, determined that they accept YA Contemporary, and read maybe an interview or two, I’d add them to my list. When it got time to send queries, that’s when I’d do further research so I could make my final decision on whether or not to send and how to personalize. By the time I crawled out of the query trenches, I had a list of almost 149 agents.
This was my first completed manuscript. My first query trench visit. Which, for me, meant every rejection, especially in the beginning, was a causeto go absolute bananas for alarm. Should I re-write my beginning, maybe tweak the ending? Or just burn it? Come on, which one? It took me a while to really get what subjectivity meant. But, there were a couple rejections that also had some great feedback that wasn’t just subjective. I also had a really helpful and incredibly encouraging critique from Brent Taylor of Teen Eyes Edits. In the end, I did revise my manuscript a bit. Well, not in the end, in the middle. A few times in-between query batches and then I re-worked my first pages one final time after Write On Con. I also revised my query with the help of the WOC community.
Then something happened. Six months after my query journey began, I received an offer. From a publisher. Wait, what? I thought you’re not supposed to submit to publishers and agents simultaneously? Well, at the time, I didn’t know there was any controversy about that. But, I think as long as you’re informed about all the reasons to and not to, (please do your research) then ultimately, it’s your choice. But you should only query and submit to those you’d seriously consider if they make an offer. Don’t send your query or work off to someone you know you’d never say yes to.
Offer week. What to do, what to do? Once again, the writing community came through on this one. I would’ve been a total mess if I didn’t have a few agented author friends to agonize and freak out with behind the scenes. Two had even dealt with the same scenario as mine. There were a whole lotta Twitter DMs and emails going back and forth. So, four agents already had my manuscript. In the end, my “OFFER RECEIVED” email to most recently queried agents got me two more requests. It also got me a lot more rejections, but a lot of really gracious and congratulatory emails too. My inbox seemed to be overflowing with a lot more of those subjectivity emails too, with the manuscript and the query/sample pages. I had to explain it to my husband in layman’s terms. “No dude, they’re not being jerks. It’s like a girl dates you and thinks you’re hot but kind of boring. Or she loves hanging out with you but just can’t see herself bringing you home for a lifetime of shenanigans.” Sigh. “It all has to click,” I told him. I tried to be cool, but I was really nervous that it wouldn’t click for the last agents with my manuscript. I didn’t have a single dream agent per se, but I will admit this: The last four agents who had my manuscript were all ranked number ones by me on my QueryTracker chart. I was feeling that whole “just an honor to be nominated” kind of thing.Yeah but still: pick me PICK MEEEE! I felt really, really lucky and honored that they had my manuscript in their hands, but also panic attacky as hell. One agents bowed out at the end of the week because even another week wasn’t enough time for her to get to my ms. I was a bummed, but it goes to show that just because you have an offer, not all agents will go nuts to read that ms overnight. Agents are really busy so a time crunch is also another reason to say no. (Cue: Queen’s Under Pressure).
The more I thought about my initial offer, I really, really wanted an agent to help me out on this decision. Okay, let me be honest, I needed an agent’s guidance like nobody’s business. Because, once I read over the offer and started doing more research…SURPRISE! I didn’t know anything about rights and royalties and percentages and negotiating additional book options. Turns out I didn’t feel qualified and didn’t really want to take twenty-four crash courses in publishing contracts and hire a lawyer.
There was a lot of soul searching over the week. And a lot of ice cream eating. But finally, the wait was over. After an agonizing weekend, I got an email from Victoria Lowes of The Bent Agency. It popped up on my screen first thing Monday morning and she was requesting a call. THIS WAS IT! Wait? THE CALL? Was I being presumptuous? What if it was a friendly rejection or an R&R? But alas, there was a very cryptic clue in this email. I didn’t even have to read it over a million times or send it to a friend to help me psychoanalyze. After saying she’d love to schedule a call, it literally said “(hint: I’d like to offer representation.)” And there was a smiley face! Whaaaaaat? As many times as I dreamed about seeing this email, it was a shock. It was clean and clear, and…so positive.There was no “But I just didn’t connect” or “I’m sure another agent will see it differently.”
EEEEEEK. I squealed the news to my toddler and texted my husband at work. Then, I scheduled the call like a pro--after my son got home from school and while my daughter would be napping.
I wish I could say the call was calm and cool and I was chill as ice while asking the twenty some questions I had on the list I made months ago. Not even close. The first time I called, it went right to voicemail. The second time I only heard every third word until I had to ask her to call me back because of a bad connection. It’s not easy listening to “loved—au—erp--representation.” And then finally when we talked for real, my throat felt tight, and my voice was all shakey like it was tenth grade all over again and I was talking to my crush *Jason Murphy. (*not his real name) Also, it was very much like my wedding. It went by so fast and I was so not in the moment although I wanted to be. I couldn’t think or speak or remember any of the questions even though they were right in front of me. I’ve been in a bunch of plays and have led numerous business meetings and client presentations for my past sales job, so I don’t know where this came from. Oh wait, I do. When everhad I been thissuperclose to the start of making the first dream I’ve ever had come true? Never. I can’t even.
Victoria said she loved Prom B*TCH, and thought it was funny and authentic and most importantly, she wanted to rep me and my career—not just the one book. And that alone is a dream come true. I accepted Victoria’s offer the next day. Since THE CALL, I’ve had more questions answered (with a less shaky voice), a very lovely welcoming email from the head of the agency, and a phone call that had me high fiving myself afterwards for having such a thoughtful, sharp, and on it agent.
I’m excited to continue this journey and want to say thanks to all my writerly friends and connections for ALL THE HELP in ALL THE CAPACITIES. And super special thanks to Michelle Hauck for her interview that led me to query Victoria in the first place.
FOR THE QUERY STAT HUNGRY:Queries: 96 Requests: 19 (13 Full/6 Partial)Offers: 2 (1 pub/1 rep)
Time spent in Query Trenches: 6 months & 3 days.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ami Allen-Vath writes YA Contemporary and lives along the lively shores of NJ with her husband, two children, and their dog, Yoda. Aside from reading and writing, she loves acting, painting, vacations, comedy, and the Spring. She hates cilantro, birds flying around with their flappity wings, and when guys break out cartoon impressions.
You can follow Ami on twitter at @amilouiseallen and on her blog.
In March of 2013, I wrote my very first query for my YA Contemporary novel, PROM B*TCH.
I was all, Hey this thing is pretty good—it totally makes me want to read this book! But, just to make sure, I posted it on the query critique forum of AQC, Agent Query Connect. I prepared myself for a ginormous sea of query high fives and people posting things like, “send that shizz out—like yesterday!” Ummmm, nope.
Wait, whaaat? Oh, gosh. Okay. Gulp. My query wasn’t ready. Not even close. It wasn’t even a bad one yet. That’s because it wasn’t even to the status of being an actual query. It was more like I took a synopsisy vomit and named it “Query.” There was a whole lotta “Hey this is gonna be fun and crazy cuz this happens, then this, then this, and whoa-whoa-whoa--then THIS! And you can read to find out what else!”
After a whoooole lot of revisions, I sent it off. I started with a batch of eight or so, and then, feeling more confident when a few full requests came in the first week, I sent off another handful. Every time I pressed send, I’d get a little high—and a feeling of sheer throat-punching panic. Wait—did I send it to the right address? Did it go through? Did I use the wrong last name and was the personalization portion proof read enough times? Lemme go back and check.
Erp. I did mess up an agent’s last name once. I changed the personalization but kept the most recently queried agent’s last name. I sent a new one.
I started reading “How I got my Agent Stories” like nobody’s business. Looking for inspiration and well, just to know “what to expect when you’re expecting to get an agent offer.” It was the same kind of deal when I was trying to get pregnant a few years back. Reading everything I could read, looking for secret handshakes and averages and overall, hope. I started to read more about writers getting an agent after shelving one to five books and/or after 100 and some queries. Wow. That kind of knocked my bra off. I wondered how high I’d query until putting my ms aside. How would I know when to quit? And wait, Are there even 100 agents to query? Or are people just querying every single agent in the universe?
Turns out there are that many agents and a few hundred more. And on paper, as far as I knew, reputable, good ones. Currently, there are 1285 agents on QueryTracker and 452 that are looking for YA. It’s up to you to do further research to find out if those agents are interested in your genre and the other hidden gems your manuscript may hold. I used QueryTracker
This was my first completed manuscript. My first query trench visit. Which, for me, meant every rejection, especially in the beginning, was a cause
Then something happened. Six months after my query journey began, I received an offer. From a publisher. Wait, what? I thought you’re not supposed to submit to publishers and agents simultaneously? Well, at the time, I didn’t know there was any controversy about that. But, I think as long as you’re informed about all the reasons to and not to, (please do your research) then ultimately, it’s your choice. But you should only query and submit to those you’d seriously consider if they make an offer. Don’t send your query or work off to someone you know you’d never say yes to.
Offer week. What to do, what to do? Once again, the writing community came through on this one. I would’ve been a total mess if I didn’t have a few agented author friends to agonize and freak out with behind the scenes. Two had even dealt with the same scenario as mine. There were a whole lotta Twitter DMs and emails going back and forth. So, four agents already had my manuscript. In the end, my “OFFER RECEIVED” email to most recently queried agents got me two more requests. It also got me a lot more rejections, but a lot of really gracious and congratulatory emails too. My inbox seemed to be overflowing with a lot more of those subjectivity emails too, with the manuscript and the query/sample pages. I had to explain it to my husband in layman’s terms. “No dude, they’re not being jerks. It’s like a girl dates you and thinks you’re hot but kind of boring. Or she loves hanging out with you but just can’t see herself bringing you home for a lifetime of shenanigans.” Sigh. “It all has to click,” I told him. I tried to be cool, but I was really nervous that it wouldn’t click for the last agents with my manuscript. I didn’t have a single dream agent per se, but I will admit this: The last four agents who had my manuscript were all ranked number ones by me on my QueryTracker chart. I was feeling that whole “just an honor to be nominated” kind of thing.
The more I thought about my initial offer, I really, really wanted an agent to help me out on this decision. Okay, let me be honest, I needed an agent’s guidance like nobody’s business. Because, once I read over the offer and started doing more research…SURPRISE! I didn’t know anything about rights and royalties and percentages and negotiating additional book options. Turns out I didn’t feel qualified and didn’t really want to take twenty-four crash courses in publishing contracts and hire a lawyer.
There was a lot of soul searching over the week. And a lot of ice cream eating. But finally, the wait was over. After an agonizing weekend, I got an email from Victoria Lowes of The Bent Agency. It popped up on my screen first thing Monday morning and she was requesting a call. THIS WAS IT! Wait? THE CALL? Was I being presumptuous? What if it was a friendly rejection or an R&R? But alas, there was a very cryptic clue in this email. I didn’t even have to read it over a million times or send it to a friend to help me psychoanalyze. After saying she’d love to schedule a call, it literally said “(hint: I’d like to offer representation.)” And there was a smiley face! Whaaaaaat? As many times as I dreamed about seeing this email, it was a shock. It was clean and clear, and…so positive.There was no “But I just didn’t connect” or “I’m sure another agent will see it differently.”
EEEEEEK. I squealed the news to my toddler and texted my husband at work. Then, I scheduled the call like a pro--after my son got home from school and while my daughter would be napping.
I wish I could say the call was calm and cool and I was chill as ice while asking the twenty some questions I had on the list I made months ago. Not even close. The first time I called, it went right to voicemail. The second time I only heard every third word until I had to ask her to call me back because of a bad connection. It’s not easy listening to “loved—au—erp--representation.” And then finally when we talked for real, my throat felt tight, and my voice was all shakey like it was tenth grade all over again and I was talking to my crush *Jason Murphy. (*not his real name) Also, it was very much like my wedding. It went by so fast and I was so not in the moment although I wanted to be. I couldn’t think or speak or remember any of the questions even though they were right in front of me. I’ve been in a bunch of plays and have led numerous business meetings and client presentations for my past sales job, so I don’t know where this came from. Oh wait, I do. When everhad I been thissuperclose to the start of making the first dream I’ve ever had come true? Never. I can’t even.
Victoria said she loved Prom B*TCH, and thought it was funny and authentic and most importantly, she wanted to rep me and my career—not just the one book. And that alone is a dream come true. I accepted Victoria’s offer the next day. Since THE CALL, I’ve had more questions answered (with a less shaky voice), a very lovely welcoming email from the head of the agency, and a phone call that had me high fiving myself afterwards for having such a thoughtful, sharp, and on it agent.
I’m excited to continue this journey and want to say thanks to all my writerly friends and connections for ALL THE HELP in ALL THE CAPACITIES. And super special thanks to Michelle Hauck for her interview that led me to query Victoria in the first place.
FOR THE QUERY STAT HUNGRY:Queries: 96 Requests: 19 (13 Full/6 Partial)Offers: 2 (1 pub/1 rep)
Time spent in Query Trenches: 6 months & 3 days.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ami Allen-Vath writes YA Contemporary and lives along the lively shores of NJ with her husband, two children, and their dog, Yoda. Aside from reading and writing, she loves acting, painting, vacations, comedy, and the Spring. She hates cilantro, birds flying around with their flappity wings, and when guys break out cartoon impressions.
You can follow Ami on twitter at @amilouiseallen and on her blog.
October 15, 2013
Nightmare Posts
Query Questions with Clelia Gore
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
This one goes out to you picture book and New Adult writers, though Clelia does rep YA and MG! Meet new agent Clelia Gore of Martin Literary Management.
Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
As a new agent, I am eager to build my client list, so I am reading everything right now!
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
The query letter is a very important communication and it should be taken very seriously--as seriously as the manuscript you have written! Think of it as a way to get an agent's attention in a crowded room -- you want to be the one with the magnetism that gets that agent talking to you. To me, typos and grammatical errors are forgivable, but a query letter that is poorly worded, or doesn't flow well, or doesn't make total sense, is a red flag that the writing in the manuscript is not going to be up to snuff. You don't want to cast a cloud of doubt over the manuscript you have worked so hard on!
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
I always look at sample pages.
Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?
Nope -- I read everything myself!
If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?
Use your judgment. If you think the prologue is needed to represent your story, include it. Or if it will serve as a great hook, include it. If you don't think it advances the story told in the first ten pages or if you think it minimizes the "hook effect," don't include it. If the agent requests the full manuscript, make sure to draw his or her attention to the fact that there is a prologue if you took it out in the query email.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I am most interested in hearing about the manuscript, but would also like to know a little bit of personal information about the author. To me, the author is not severable from the book, so I think it's important to know about the author too.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
Authors who have a platform -- an online presence or exposure to the public in some capacity are more desirable to me. It increases their marketability from both my perspective and a publisher's perspective. Although having a blog, twitter presence, etc. is not a requirement for me, it is something that I think is important and would look for.
Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?
I don't mind links to blogs, works, at all. As I've mentioned, to me, the author platform is important, and these are all elements of the platform.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
Rhyming picture books. I think the modern picture book has moved forward from rhyming.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
Right now, I'm really interested in alternative history YA or middle grade books. I am also really interested in the emerging New Adult genre--I would love to see a funny book about grad school. I went to law school and I think it's great fodder for comedy. I would also love to see a modern, creative spin on the detective whodunnit series that appeals to tween girls.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was when Clelia first read Charlotte's Web in the first grade that she got hooked by the magic of books. Her love of children's books carried through adulthood and she is delighted to dedicate her life to bringing quality books and stories to young (and whimsical adult!) readers.
Clelia is originally from New Jersey and lived in New York City for several years prior to moving to Seattle. She has a bachelor's degree in English from Boston College. She received her J.D. from American University, Washington College of Law and practiced law as a corporate litigator in New York City.
In 2011, she decided to dedicate her career to books and reentered graduate school at Emerson College. In 2013, she received her master's degree in Publishing and Writing. While she was studying publishing and taking creative writing courses at Emerson, Clelia worked as a managing editorial intern in the children's book division at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Clelia also honed her editorial skills as an editorial intern at Oxford University Press. She also taught academic writing and research courses to freshman students at Emerson College.
In addition to reading YA and children's books, Clelia also likes to blog about them! You can read her musings and ruminations on rereading the books of her 90's youth at www.tweenat28.com.
Clelia is very interested in the emerging New Adult genre. Having faced an early life career crisis, she really relates to characters who are confronted with the challenges of entering adulthood. She is also interested in young adult and middle grade books. She is seeking to represent writers whose protagonists have strong voices and whose plots are original. Clelia never wants to let go of her favorite characters, so she particularly loves trilogies and series that can be adapted to the screen.
Clelia has a special spot in her heart for picture books. She especially loves ones that are funny or quirky, ones that feature minority and multi-cultural characters, and ones parents won't mind reading over and over again to their children.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
This one goes out to you picture book and New Adult writers, though Clelia does rep YA and MG! Meet new agent Clelia Gore of Martin Literary Management.
Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
As a new agent, I am eager to build my client list, so I am reading everything right now!
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
The query letter is a very important communication and it should be taken very seriously--as seriously as the manuscript you have written! Think of it as a way to get an agent's attention in a crowded room -- you want to be the one with the magnetism that gets that agent talking to you. To me, typos and grammatical errors are forgivable, but a query letter that is poorly worded, or doesn't flow well, or doesn't make total sense, is a red flag that the writing in the manuscript is not going to be up to snuff. You don't want to cast a cloud of doubt over the manuscript you have worked so hard on!
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
I always look at sample pages.
Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?
Nope -- I read everything myself!
If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?
Use your judgment. If you think the prologue is needed to represent your story, include it. Or if it will serve as a great hook, include it. If you don't think it advances the story told in the first ten pages or if you think it minimizes the "hook effect," don't include it. If the agent requests the full manuscript, make sure to draw his or her attention to the fact that there is a prologue if you took it out in the query email.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I am most interested in hearing about the manuscript, but would also like to know a little bit of personal information about the author. To me, the author is not severable from the book, so I think it's important to know about the author too.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
Authors who have a platform -- an online presence or exposure to the public in some capacity are more desirable to me. It increases their marketability from both my perspective and a publisher's perspective. Although having a blog, twitter presence, etc. is not a requirement for me, it is something that I think is important and would look for.
Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?
I don't mind links to blogs, works, at all. As I've mentioned, to me, the author platform is important, and these are all elements of the platform.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
Rhyming picture books. I think the modern picture book has moved forward from rhyming.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
Right now, I'm really interested in alternative history YA or middle grade books. I am also really interested in the emerging New Adult genre--I would love to see a funny book about grad school. I went to law school and I think it's great fodder for comedy. I would also love to see a modern, creative spin on the detective whodunnit series that appeals to tween girls.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was when Clelia first read Charlotte's Web in the first grade that she got hooked by the magic of books. Her love of children's books carried through adulthood and she is delighted to dedicate her life to bringing quality books and stories to young (and whimsical adult!) readers.
Clelia is originally from New Jersey and lived in New York City for several years prior to moving to Seattle. She has a bachelor's degree in English from Boston College. She received her J.D. from American University, Washington College of Law and practiced law as a corporate litigator in New York City.
In 2011, she decided to dedicate her career to books and reentered graduate school at Emerson College. In 2013, she received her master's degree in Publishing and Writing. While she was studying publishing and taking creative writing courses at Emerson, Clelia worked as a managing editorial intern in the children's book division at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Clelia also honed her editorial skills as an editorial intern at Oxford University Press. She also taught academic writing and research courses to freshman students at Emerson College.
In addition to reading YA and children's books, Clelia also likes to blog about them! You can read her musings and ruminations on rereading the books of her 90's youth at www.tweenat28.com.
Clelia is very interested in the emerging New Adult genre. Having faced an early life career crisis, she really relates to characters who are confronted with the challenges of entering adulthood. She is also interested in young adult and middle grade books. She is seeking to represent writers whose protagonists have strong voices and whose plots are original. Clelia never wants to let go of her favorite characters, so she particularly loves trilogies and series that can be adapted to the screen.
Clelia has a special spot in her heart for picture books. She especially loves ones that are funny or quirky, ones that feature minority and multi-cultural characters, and ones parents won't mind reading over and over again to their children.
October 14, 2013
Fall Query Extravaganza #2
I'll be doing a limited number of query critiques this fall.
Right now I'm full up with queries but contact me in November on twitter if you want your query showcased. Participants must comment on as many queries as they can to pay it forward. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear AGENTS NAME,
When twenty-four year old Marica uncovers Russian journals hidden in her Melbourne home, she doesn't expect some stranger’s scribbling from one hundred years ago to change her identity. Nor does she anticipate translating them to bring her a new love.
Identity and love crises aside, she never imagined she’d resolve her issues with her mother, practically impossible if your mother is dead. Practically. Unless you discover a family-secret leading from modern-day Melbourne, to 1920’s Paris and all the way to the last Russian Tsar, a secret, that simultaneously makes everything clear and muddied.
The truth often hurts. With her life now consisting of scattered lies and a man she is unsure she deserves, Marica must try to make peace with four generations of deception or risk losing her chance at love along with a little of her sanity.
Dairy of Anne Frank meets Love Actually with a bit of sleuthing. Blending modern Melbourne, Art Deco Paris and Tsarist/Revolutionary Russia, and at 86,000-words, PAST SECRETS; PRESENT FUTURE is a New Adult alternative history mixed with modern romance and mystery.
In April 2013, I came 9th in a short story competition run by Atlantis Short Story Contest. The editor has written me a Letter of Recommendation, which I can forward on request. Recently I entered the #Pitchmadness contest (for another manuscript) and was selected in the top 60 for: “The Murder of George Wickham.”
I was born in Croatia, raised in Australia and have lived in France. Twelve months ago, I packed it all in as it were, to work full-time on my writing. Now I’m a slave to my conscience and three feline overlords.
Per submission guidelines, I have included (per guidelines)
Thank you for your time.
Regards,
With my crazy comments:
Dear AGENTS NAME, Just a nitpick because you won't leave as is, but it should be 'Agent's Name.' And isn't purple a great fall color?
When twenty-four year old Marica uncovers Russian journals hidden in her Melbourne home, she doesn't expect some stranger’s scribbling from one hundred years ago to change her identity. Unless they're magic, they didn't really 'change' her identity, they illuminated/exposed the truth. Nor does she anticipate translating them to bring her a new love.
Identity and love crises aside, she never imagined she’d resolve her issues with her mother, practically impossible if your mother is dead. Practically. Unless you discover a family-secret leading from modern-day Melbourne, to 1920’s Paris and all the way to the last Russian Tsar, a secret, that simultaneously makes everything clear and muddied. My Scooby sense tells me this paragraph is off, might be the change in tense, but it also seems to have a change of voice. Plus, it's vague. What issues with her mother? What sort of secret? Instead of enticing, this makes all cloudy and frustrates. The best part is the sentence that describes where the journals led her, because of the details in it. Give us more of that.
The truth often hurts. Cliche unless you give us why in this case it hurts. But the explanation tells me nothing. With her life now consisting of scattered lies why lies? What is she lying about? and a man she is unsure she deserves, Marica must try to make peace with four generations of deception why is it her problem to clear it all up? or risk losing her chance at love along with a little of her sanity. Again this is very vague. What truth? What man? I really know nothing about him or this love affair she finds which gives me no sense of character. I had no idea her past was upsetting to her so why would she need to make peace with it. Unless you mean her mother. But without details, I don't really have a reason to care for Marica. I'm unsure whether her ultimate goal is repairing her feelings toward her mother or her love affair. You spent a whole paragraph on the mother and now that disappears.
Dairy of Anne Frank meets Love Actually with a bit of sleuthing. This certainly implies war or persecution is part of the story, but I didn't get that from the query. Blending modern Melbourne, Art Deco Paris and Tsarist/Revolutionary Russia (I got this from the second paragraph.), and at 86,000-words, PAST SECRETS; PRESENT FUTURE is a New Adult alternative history mixed with modern romance and mystery. That might be too many genres in one sentence. Your query should show the romance and mystery.
In April 2013, I came 9th in a short story competition run by Atlantis Short Story Contest. The editor has written me a Letter of Recommendation, which I can forward on request. Recently I entered the #Pitchmadness contest (for another manuscript) and was selected in the top 60 for: “The Murder of George Wickham.” I have doubts that pitchmadness is a credit agents would care about.
I was born in Croatia, raised in Australia and have lived in France. Twelve months ago, I packed it all in as it were, to work full-time on my writing. Now I’m a slave to my conscience and three feline overlords. This first sentence matters to your bio. It shows you have international experience. I'd consider cutting the second and third sentence and putting the last two paragraphs together.
Per submission guidelines, I have included (per guidelines)
Thank you for your time.
Regards, Not needed as you already thanked them.
You mentioned that the sample pages are getting requests, but the query alone is not. My guess would be that the query is too vague. It doesn't pass along a sense of personality for your main character and keeps the specifics hidden. I know writers fear to give too much away in a query, but if you tell us nothing, we have no reason to care. I suspect you've gone too far toward secrecy here.
Open up about the story in the query so that it will match the excellence demonstrated by your sample pages.
Right now I'm full up with queries but contact me in November on twitter if you want your query showcased. Participants must comment on as many queries as they can to pay it forward. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear AGENTS NAME,
When twenty-four year old Marica uncovers Russian journals hidden in her Melbourne home, she doesn't expect some stranger’s scribbling from one hundred years ago to change her identity. Nor does she anticipate translating them to bring her a new love.
Identity and love crises aside, she never imagined she’d resolve her issues with her mother, practically impossible if your mother is dead. Practically. Unless you discover a family-secret leading from modern-day Melbourne, to 1920’s Paris and all the way to the last Russian Tsar, a secret, that simultaneously makes everything clear and muddied.
The truth often hurts. With her life now consisting of scattered lies and a man she is unsure she deserves, Marica must try to make peace with four generations of deception or risk losing her chance at love along with a little of her sanity.
Dairy of Anne Frank meets Love Actually with a bit of sleuthing. Blending modern Melbourne, Art Deco Paris and Tsarist/Revolutionary Russia, and at 86,000-words, PAST SECRETS; PRESENT FUTURE is a New Adult alternative history mixed with modern romance and mystery.
In April 2013, I came 9th in a short story competition run by Atlantis Short Story Contest. The editor has written me a Letter of Recommendation, which I can forward on request. Recently I entered the #Pitchmadness contest (for another manuscript) and was selected in the top 60 for: “The Murder of George Wickham.”
I was born in Croatia, raised in Australia and have lived in France. Twelve months ago, I packed it all in as it were, to work full-time on my writing. Now I’m a slave to my conscience and three feline overlords.
Per submission guidelines, I have included (per guidelines)
Thank you for your time.
Regards,
With my crazy comments:
Dear AGENTS NAME, Just a nitpick because you won't leave as is, but it should be 'Agent's Name.' And isn't purple a great fall color?
When twenty-four year old Marica uncovers Russian journals hidden in her Melbourne home, she doesn't expect some stranger’s scribbling from one hundred years ago to change her identity. Unless they're magic, they didn't really 'change' her identity, they illuminated/exposed the truth. Nor does she anticipate translating them to bring her a new love.
Identity and love crises aside, she never imagined she’d resolve her issues with her mother, practically impossible if your mother is dead. Practically. Unless you discover a family-secret leading from modern-day Melbourne, to 1920’s Paris and all the way to the last Russian Tsar, a secret, that simultaneously makes everything clear and muddied. My Scooby sense tells me this paragraph is off, might be the change in tense, but it also seems to have a change of voice. Plus, it's vague. What issues with her mother? What sort of secret? Instead of enticing, this makes all cloudy and frustrates. The best part is the sentence that describes where the journals led her, because of the details in it. Give us more of that.
The truth often hurts. Cliche unless you give us why in this case it hurts. But the explanation tells me nothing. With her life now consisting of scattered lies why lies? What is she lying about? and a man she is unsure she deserves, Marica must try to make peace with four generations of deception why is it her problem to clear it all up? or risk losing her chance at love along with a little of her sanity. Again this is very vague. What truth? What man? I really know nothing about him or this love affair she finds which gives me no sense of character. I had no idea her past was upsetting to her so why would she need to make peace with it. Unless you mean her mother. But without details, I don't really have a reason to care for Marica. I'm unsure whether her ultimate goal is repairing her feelings toward her mother or her love affair. You spent a whole paragraph on the mother and now that disappears.
Dairy of Anne Frank meets Love Actually with a bit of sleuthing. This certainly implies war or persecution is part of the story, but I didn't get that from the query. Blending modern Melbourne, Art Deco Paris and Tsarist/Revolutionary Russia (I got this from the second paragraph.), and at 86,000-words, PAST SECRETS; PRESENT FUTURE is a New Adult alternative history mixed with modern romance and mystery. That might be too many genres in one sentence. Your query should show the romance and mystery.
In April 2013, I came 9th in a short story competition run by Atlantis Short Story Contest. The editor has written me a Letter of Recommendation, which I can forward on request. Recently I entered the #Pitchmadness contest (for another manuscript) and was selected in the top 60 for: “The Murder of George Wickham.” I have doubts that pitchmadness is a credit agents would care about.
I was born in Croatia, raised in Australia and have lived in France. Twelve months ago, I packed it all in as it were, to work full-time on my writing. Now I’m a slave to my conscience and three feline overlords. This first sentence matters to your bio. It shows you have international experience. I'd consider cutting the second and third sentence and putting the last two paragraphs together.
Per submission guidelines, I have included (per guidelines)
Thank you for your time.
Regards, Not needed as you already thanked them.
You mentioned that the sample pages are getting requests, but the query alone is not. My guess would be that the query is too vague. It doesn't pass along a sense of personality for your main character and keeps the specifics hidden. I know writers fear to give too much away in a query, but if you tell us nothing, we have no reason to care. I suspect you've gone too far toward secrecy here.
Open up about the story in the query so that it will match the excellence demonstrated by your sample pages.
