David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 174

Readings Attended In 2015

In keeping with all the reading/writing reflections I’ve been on in the last few days, I’ve been looking back at the readings I attended in 2015. In the past few years, I’ve tried to attend at least one reading a month. That fell apart immediately this year given that the one I went to in January was technically happening, but no reading occurred due to a suspected gas leak that resulted in an evacuation taking up the whole time despite turning out to be a false alarm.

January: The Long Journey Cara J. Swanson (we were all there, but the reading didn’t really happen because a suspected gas leak that didn’t turn out to be real resulted in an evacuation that took up the full time)

February: The Sacrifice Joyce Carol Oates

March: The Collector of Names Patrick Hicks

April: Into the Silence America Hart and The Dead Lands Benjamin Percy

May: The Daylight Marriage Heidi Pitlor and Contenders Erika Krouse

June: Frog Kisses Linda Joffe Hull (at the BookBar instead of my usual place for readings, the Tattered Cover)

July: Skipped any formal readings at Tattered Cover, but attended the July Fbomb flash fiction reading event.

August: Secondhand Souls Christopher Moore

September: Best Boy Eli Gottlieb

October: Skipped any formal readings at Tattered Cover, but attended (and read at) the October Fbomb flash fiction reading event and also attended the Don’t Yell at Me Episode 9 reading.

November: Sweetheart Deal Linda Joffe Hull (at the BookBar instead of my usual place for readings, the Tattered Cover) and also tended (and read at) the November Fbomb flash fiction reading event.

December: Got lazy and didn’t go to anything.

(I also managed to attend a number of readings while visiting my old MFA program residencies in January and July, as well as some at AWP in Minneapolis. Somehow I never keep track of all what I manage to hit at those though, so I don’t have info to list for those.)

So, one didn’t happen though I attended, and one month I skipped entirely. There were two months where I did two though, so I think I still met my goal. Right?

My 2015 Writing Year

I was just looking back at my 2015 year in writing. It was a heck of a year, for a number of reasons. My short story collection Not Quite so Stories was accepted for publication (upcoming March 2016) by Literary Wanderlust. That automatically makes it a banner year. Some other things were slow though. I only had 7 short stories accepted, one of which didn’t end up getting published after all because the journal ended up folding before it could happen…so really 6. That makes 2015 my slowest short story year since 2010:

“The Inappropriate Name of the Faded Glory Product Line” published September 5, 2015 in issue 21 of of birdy.

“In the Dark” published July 16, 2015 in the Summer 2015 issue of The Lincoln Underground.

“Lunchtime Doubly So” published July 1, 2015 in the 38th issue (Vol. 10, No. 2) of Wilderness House Literary Review.

“Hollidays Gone Wrong” (no, that isn’t a typo) published March 22, 2015 Bartleby Snopes.

“To Kill a Mokkingbird II – Kill Harder by Ahrrper Leeeeee” published February 5, 2015 in Cease, Cows. Thanks to Jon Konrath for letting me use the title and inspiring the story.

“The Philosophical Problem of Original Jam” published July 16, 2015 in Apocrypha and Abstractions.

Still, I’d be a rotten person if I complained about 6 (7) acceptances. Also had 6 book reviews appear various places:

My review of Washing the Dead by Michelle Brafman, published October 22, 2015 at [Pank].

My review of After the Gazebo by Jen Knox, published October 6, 2015 at Change Seven Magazine.

My review of Last Mass by Jamie Iredell, published June 25, 2015 at The Lit Pub.

My review of The Devils That Have Come to Stay by Pamela DiFrancesco, published June 18, 2015 at [Pank].

My review of What Lies in Wait by James H. Duncan, published June 15, 2015 in Issue No. 8 of Buffalo Almanack.

My review of Choose Wisely: 35 Women Up To No Good, published April 30, 2015 at InDigest.

Given all that’s gone on this year and all the stuff I’ve spent a lot of time working on that doesn’t have immediate results the way short stories do, I really can’t complain. You just keep writing and stay grateful for all the good stuff. There’s certainly plenty of that, particularly since I’d only ever had two short stories accepted prior to 2011. 2015 was still a heck of a writing year.

Updating Classic Paintings With Text: Michelangelo and Pope Julius II

I’ve been seeing a lot of the bit recently where people add text to classic paintings for humorous results. I started thinking about that, and “The Penultimate Supper” sketch by Monty Python. Then I found a painting of Michelangelo and Pope Julius II. I think you get where this is going:

Happy Easter! (Again)

Happy Easter! (Again)

Brought to you courtesy of funny.pho.to.

Blog Annual Report

As usual, WordPress put together an annual report for the blog. I figured I could avoid having to come up with a post for a day if I shared it. As such, here it is.

It seems a bit less entertaining than in some previous years, but we’ll blame them for that if that’s the case. I didn’t do it.

Of Course I Wasn’t The Only One Thinking That: Star Wars

A lot of my friends have been having fun posting fake Star Wars spoilers, absurd items that are so out there everyone immediately knows they’re screwing around (no one is taking any chances). As part of that, I recently commented: “Spoiler Alert: The movie does not feature Alf.” I was also thinking of posting: “I was surprised that they decided to include Ren Hoek.” As should be expected, I was not the only one thinking that.

Quite a lot of people were already thinking of that mash up due to the name “Kylo Ren.” Someone is even selling a t-shirt of it. As much as it would have been cool to have an original thought, I didn’t much expect it.

It kind of seems cooler this way.

Do Not Share Embarrassing Pictures Of Yourself That Have An Embarrassing Resemblance To A Celebrity

Don’t share an embarrassing picture of yourself from long ago that has a disturbingly embarrassing resemblance to a celebrity. Particularly do not do this hoping people will say they don’t see the resemblance. They won’t. Worse, they may get confused as to which is the embarrassing picture of you and which is the picture of the celebrity to which your embarrassing picture bears a disturbingly embarrassing resemblance.

This can be hard on the ego.

This happened recently with my post about me in my early twenties and modern day, strung-out looking Macaulay Culkin. The post included both photos, and the best case scenario involved people being spooked by the resemblance. That was not the reaction I was going for. Worse, some people I’ve known for over twenty years got confused as to which photo was which. Some thought both were Macaulay Culkin, some thought both were me. An astonishing number of people didn’t get it right. Many of them were not being facetious.

That was really not the reaction for which I had been hoping, or one I’d even conceived as possible.

So, just don’t do it. You and your ego will be better off. No, I’m not sharing the pictures again. My ego has suffered enough.

The Upside To Mortality

I was considering my mortality recently. I actually saw an upside. As time goes on, I get closer to the end of my life. However, as time goes on, there are fewer and fewer of these monstrosities that still work:

Someday, they will all be gone.

Where Does My “Happy Easter” Mistaken Holiday Obsession Come From?

I’ve posted enough mistaken holiday “Happy Easter” things by now that you might be wondering where this comes from. I suppose I can waste a day on here elaborating, just in case anyone cares.

Part of it comes form the old Tom and Jerry “Happy Go Ducky” episode. In the episode, an easter egg left for Tom hatches, releasing Quackers. Quackers immediately shouts “Happy Easter!” He shouts this over and over throughout the episode.

Over and over.

Mind you, I’ve probably seen that cartoon about a bazillion times. That “Happy Easter” wedged itself permanently in my brain.

Combine that with a funny story a friend of mine told. Him and his pals were drunk on New Year’s. They wanted to call bars and wish other drunks a happy New Year. One friend got on the phone and called, but he was a bit more inebriated than worked for the plan. He said “Happy Birthday!” One of the others forcefully whispered to him “No, Happy New Year, you idiot!” “Happy New Year, you idiot!” the drunk on the phone corrected himself.

These combined in my head with being overwhelmed on most holidays with all the holiday related posts. The “Happy Easter” thing popped out of that. That’s about the best explanation I have, both for where it came from and why I keep doing it.

Heck, I guess there’s probably just something wrong with me.

Quackers Animated GIF!

I posted yet another Quackers from Tom and Jerry themed mistaken holiday post yesterday. That got me to thinking, is there a Quackers animated gif out there? There is! There is!

This saved me from having to think of something else to talk about today.