Allison Knight's Blog, page 14
January 24, 2014
The Journey
First, DH is doing well. Despite the bad start, the fuzzy eye, the messed up instructions, his eye is better today than yesterday. So, he's doing well. And today is a good day for me. I feel good. Must have gotten the needed rest. Anyway,
today is a good day. Funny how one day will be really good, the next okay, then a couple of oh-oh days, when moving from one point to another is difficult.
I expect the oh-oh days to occur more frequently as time goes on. I'm told being so tired is part of the condition, so I'm expecting it. Trying to make sure I have all my ducks in a row before I get too bad. And according to my nurse, it could be quite a while because all the vitals are really good. That's good, because I still have a lot to do. (grinning) It's because I procrastinate. Or I start one thing and think, oh, shoot, I really should be doing this, so I go to do the thing I decided I should be doing. Okay, so I'm not the terrific organized person I think most of us would like to be.
Anyway, time to start the taxes. Not something I look forward to. Let's see is there something else I should be doing???
Oh, I know. I don't like chapter two of the new book. I have to rewrite that. Yes, I do need to do that. Afraid the taxes will have to wait for a bit.
Allison
today is a good day. Funny how one day will be really good, the next okay, then a couple of oh-oh days, when moving from one point to another is difficult.
I expect the oh-oh days to occur more frequently as time goes on. I'm told being so tired is part of the condition, so I'm expecting it. Trying to make sure I have all my ducks in a row before I get too bad. And according to my nurse, it could be quite a while because all the vitals are really good. That's good, because I still have a lot to do. (grinning) It's because I procrastinate. Or I start one thing and think, oh, shoot, I really should be doing this, so I go to do the thing I decided I should be doing. Okay, so I'm not the terrific organized person I think most of us would like to be.
Anyway, time to start the taxes. Not something I look forward to. Let's see is there something else I should be doing???
Oh, I know. I don't like chapter two of the new book. I have to rewrite that. Yes, I do need to do that. Afraid the taxes will have to wait for a bit.
Allison
January 23, 2014
The Journey
Today is a slow day. DH is okay. His eye swelled which caused the extreme fuzziness. Not uncommon. The eye drops will help and he is now agreeing to let me put them in. I'm so relieved. And not feeling as guilty. (grinning).
However, I'm noticing a bit of a slow down for me. Takes a little longer each week to get things done. Cooking is still the hardest thing I have to do. I also have a pair of slippers, no heels, and I have to fight to keep them on. As cold as it is I would like to wear them, but it takes too much of an effort to keep them on my feet. So, I'm barefoot. Good thing I live in the south. But even here it's cold.
I'm still trying to remember to slow down. After raising four kids, working as a teacher, managing the house and doing all the sewing I did meant I worked at warp speed a lot of the time. I always have. Now I can't and it is frustrating. I really need to remember I don't have to go like that now. Hmmmmm Is this another part of the memory bit that seems to slip with age? Maybe I should develop a mantra! You don't need to rush, you don't need to rush, you don't ... Well, you get the idea.
Allison
However, I'm noticing a bit of a slow down for me. Takes a little longer each week to get things done. Cooking is still the hardest thing I have to do. I also have a pair of slippers, no heels, and I have to fight to keep them on. As cold as it is I would like to wear them, but it takes too much of an effort to keep them on my feet. So, I'm barefoot. Good thing I live in the south. But even here it's cold.
I'm still trying to remember to slow down. After raising four kids, working as a teacher, managing the house and doing all the sewing I did meant I worked at warp speed a lot of the time. I always have. Now I can't and it is frustrating. I really need to remember I don't have to go like that now. Hmmmmm Is this another part of the memory bit that seems to slip with age? Maybe I should develop a mantra! You don't need to rush, you don't need to rush, you don't ... Well, you get the idea.
Allison
January 22, 2014
The Journey
Well, it didn't go well. Everyone says a cataract surgery is easily, but DH can't see. I have a feeling they screwed up. The original appointment was messed up, and then when we got that straightened up, the surgery seemed to go okay, however, it managed to get delayed by almost an hour. In recovery the instructions were given, followed at home and then came a phone call from the recovery nurse. The instructions given in recovery were not the right instructions. So, he's off to see the doctor and find out what is wrong.
In the meantime I need to do what he usually does, and now I'm pooped. Not up to snuff at the moment. And I'm scared to death they messed up his eye. I was the one who insisted he have the cataract fixed so he could see well enough to do the things he wants to do. He's a great photographer, but he needs both eyes. If they messed up the right eye, he'll be handicapped. So, yours truly feels guilty.
Praying hard things can be fixed, like right now! After so many years together, we share our feelings. He worries about me, I worry about him, he feels so responsible, and right now, I feel so responsible. I also feel so sorry for people who don't have someone to share all of these feelings at the end of their lives. Who do they talk to, how do they share what bothers them? Marriage does have it's compensations.
Allison
In the meantime I need to do what he usually does, and now I'm pooped. Not up to snuff at the moment. And I'm scared to death they messed up his eye. I was the one who insisted he have the cataract fixed so he could see well enough to do the things he wants to do. He's a great photographer, but he needs both eyes. If they messed up the right eye, he'll be handicapped. So, yours truly feels guilty.
Praying hard things can be fixed, like right now! After so many years together, we share our feelings. He worries about me, I worry about him, he feels so responsible, and right now, I feel so responsible. I also feel so sorry for people who don't have someone to share all of these feelings at the end of their lives. Who do they talk to, how do they share what bothers them? Marriage does have it's compensations.
Allison
January 21, 2014
The Journey
Interesting day yesterday. My pulse was doing all kinds of strange things. We don't know why yet, but of course, I think - heart. But they fixed that, or said they did. Because, that's not why I'm on hospice. My nurse called the heart doctor and of course, EKG now! So with DH's surgery today,
I bulked. But I lost. However, the EKG showed nothing.
Told DH that meant I was just fine to do the driving for the next couple of days. As I said yesterday, my driving makes him nervous. Too bad. I'm driving. (Grinning). We'll worry about the crazy pulse in a week or two. My heart doctor didn't want me changing a thing - yet. But he will see me again the end of the month. If it's not one thing it's another.
But DH is now at the surgeon's getting his eye fixed. Me, I'm a nervous wreck. Hmmmmm wonder if the pulse could be my reaction to his surgery. He doesn't want to know anything about it, and of course, I had to find out everything.
Oldest son is here with his father and I get to stay home, hang by the phone and try to forget about all the things that can go wrong. That's the trouble with a little knowledge and a big imagination.
Maybe if I work on the book I can think about something else. Okay, back to the book.
Allison
I bulked. But I lost. However, the EKG showed nothing.
Told DH that meant I was just fine to do the driving for the next couple of days. As I said yesterday, my driving makes him nervous. Too bad. I'm driving. (Grinning). We'll worry about the crazy pulse in a week or two. My heart doctor didn't want me changing a thing - yet. But he will see me again the end of the month. If it's not one thing it's another.
But DH is now at the surgeon's getting his eye fixed. Me, I'm a nervous wreck. Hmmmmm wonder if the pulse could be my reaction to his surgery. He doesn't want to know anything about it, and of course, I had to find out everything.
Oldest son is here with his father and I get to stay home, hang by the phone and try to forget about all the things that can go wrong. That's the trouble with a little knowledge and a big imagination.
Maybe if I work on the book I can think about something else. Okay, back to the book.
Allison
January 20, 2014
The Journey
Oldest son arrives today. His job is to take his father to the doctor tomorrow for the cataract surgery. Oh, joy. DH does not like doctors, does not like hospitals, and hates, absolutely hates, anything having to do with anything medical. The next day or two should be fun.
I'm doing better today. Maybe the thought of oldest son here to help has something to do with it. Could be, for I'm not looking forward to tomorrow or the days that follow. I had cataract surgery several years ago and I don't know how much things have changed, but DH is going to bulk, if
his restrictions are the same as mine. But, hey, I get to do the driving for a change.
I like to drive, have driven a lot in my life, maneuvered Detroit's interstate highways and side streets for a number of years. I've driven in the west and all over the south, and I do like to drive. However, DH says I make him nervous, so he does our driving now. As I said, don't know what the restrictions will be for him, but I doubt he will be allowed to drive for a couple of days.
To which I'm yelling Yeah! Now, I get to drive. Doesn't make me feel so disabled, which you do with fifty feet of tubing trailing behind you.
Now on to the book. Yesterday I watched football. I'm so bad, didn't write a thing. Today I have to do twice as much writing. But then maybe I needed a day of doing nothing. And that was yesterday.
Allison
I'm doing better today. Maybe the thought of oldest son here to help has something to do with it. Could be, for I'm not looking forward to tomorrow or the days that follow. I had cataract surgery several years ago and I don't know how much things have changed, but DH is going to bulk, if
his restrictions are the same as mine. But, hey, I get to do the driving for a change.
I like to drive, have driven a lot in my life, maneuvered Detroit's interstate highways and side streets for a number of years. I've driven in the west and all over the south, and I do like to drive. However, DH says I make him nervous, so he does our driving now. As I said, don't know what the restrictions will be for him, but I doubt he will be allowed to drive for a couple of days.
To which I'm yelling Yeah! Now, I get to drive. Doesn't make me feel so disabled, which you do with fifty feet of tubing trailing behind you.
Now on to the book. Yesterday I watched football. I'm so bad, didn't write a thing. Today I have to do twice as much writing. But then maybe I needed a day of doing nothing. And that was yesterday.
Allison
January 19, 2014
The Journey
Well, the last couple of days have been a little tough. Hard to breathe, and slow to recover. My DH asked last night if I was getting worse. It started me thinking. And I do have to agree with him. Yes, a little worse. But that was to be expected. The weather is changing rapidly and weather does seem to affect me more that I ever thought it would. So much of the lack of any improvement has got to be in part, because of the weather.
As I learn to slow down (which is next to impossible for an Alpha - which I kinda figure I am) and eat small amounts of food more often (that effects that elastic internal band, we have yet to get diagnosed) I hope to be able to keep going for quite a long time. The important thing I think, is to have goals, but they have to be obtainable goals. That said, my new goal is not to finish the book I'm working on, but to complete the next two chapters. Reduce the goal, reduce the stress. Well, it sound like a workable solution. (grinning)
So, I'm now off to write the next chapter. I Started it last night, and I like what I have, so off to make my heroine's life a bloody mess (quoting an English friend here).
Allison
As I learn to slow down (which is next to impossible for an Alpha - which I kinda figure I am) and eat small amounts of food more often (that effects that elastic internal band, we have yet to get diagnosed) I hope to be able to keep going for quite a long time. The important thing I think, is to have goals, but they have to be obtainable goals. That said, my new goal is not to finish the book I'm working on, but to complete the next two chapters. Reduce the goal, reduce the stress. Well, it sound like a workable solution. (grinning)
So, I'm now off to write the next chapter. I Started it last night, and I like what I have, so off to make my heroine's life a bloody mess (quoting an English friend here).
Allison
January 18, 2014
The Journey
Well, today started out okay, or so I thought. By the time I got to the kitchen to get water to take my morning pills, I was panting like a steam engine. I had to stop and rest. I tried to do a bit more, and it was worse. I wondered what on earth was wrong. I pulled out my little tester ( an oximeter) to see where my O2 level was. Oh, boy, in the low 80's and going down fast. High 90's is where it should be.
Then I looked at the oxygenator and released I hadn't turned it on. Here I am waltzing around the kitchen, doing morning things and all without my O2. This is what is called stupid, in capital letters. I don't know where my mind was, but today, it obviously is not attached to my body.
Now with the O2 on, and sitting for the better part of an hour, I'm back to normal. I'm going to have to be more careful. With my lung condition, I need the O2. I better get it into my head. Without the oxygen I can't function. And yes, my hospice nurse says it part of my condition. Stupid things like this morning, don't do me any good, so I need a head, brain, mind or something transplant. (grinning) Oh, let's just chalk it up to old age. Seems to me, I'm sure blaming a lot on old age lately. (laughing out loud)
Well....
Off to take the clothes out of the drier and then a day spent at the computer and, yes, with O2 attached.
Allison
Then I looked at the oxygenator and released I hadn't turned it on. Here I am waltzing around the kitchen, doing morning things and all without my O2. This is what is called stupid, in capital letters. I don't know where my mind was, but today, it obviously is not attached to my body.
Now with the O2 on, and sitting for the better part of an hour, I'm back to normal. I'm going to have to be more careful. With my lung condition, I need the O2. I better get it into my head. Without the oxygen I can't function. And yes, my hospice nurse says it part of my condition. Stupid things like this morning, don't do me any good, so I need a head, brain, mind or something transplant. (grinning) Oh, let's just chalk it up to old age. Seems to me, I'm sure blaming a lot on old age lately. (laughing out loud)
Well....
Off to take the clothes out of the drier and then a day spent at the computer and, yes, with O2 attached.
Allison
January 17, 2014
The Journey
Wow! The one job that is almost impossible is changing the sheets on the bed. We have a king size mattress. It's new and one of the kids got it for us. Top if the line. Heavier than ... Trying to pick up a end to tuck the sheet under is getting harder and harder to do. I finally broke down and ordered what is called a mattress lifter. Hoping this thing will work, or we are either going to have to sleep on dirty sheets, or stop tucking in the sheets.
We got the bottom sheet on this morning, and now we have to tuck the top sheet in and I'm already pooped for the day. Thank goodness lunch will be simple. Of course, with the sheets being changed I'm washing so today I plan to do nothing else. I'll set at the computer and write. Can't do anything else.
Thank goodness no band today, and surprisingly, no pain. I'm blessed if an occasionally elastic internal band and exhaustion is all I'm suffering. Dad and Mother both had a lot of pain, so I'm surprised I'm not following suit. I expected it. No, I'm not complaining, I'm just surprised. And thankful. Just sitting I can do a lot. Fold clothes, write books, read, take care of bills, shop on line. Lots of things. Note the shop of line... The internet came along at just the right time for me.
Allison
We got the bottom sheet on this morning, and now we have to tuck the top sheet in and I'm already pooped for the day. Thank goodness lunch will be simple. Of course, with the sheets being changed I'm washing so today I plan to do nothing else. I'll set at the computer and write. Can't do anything else.
Thank goodness no band today, and surprisingly, no pain. I'm blessed if an occasionally elastic internal band and exhaustion is all I'm suffering. Dad and Mother both had a lot of pain, so I'm surprised I'm not following suit. I expected it. No, I'm not complaining, I'm just surprised. And thankful. Just sitting I can do a lot. Fold clothes, write books, read, take care of bills, shop on line. Lots of things. Note the shop of line... The internet came along at just the right time for me.
Allison
January 16, 2014
The Journey
Third time has got to be charm. I've tried to post this three times. Something is not right with my Goggle setting, because every time I finish the post and hit enter to enter my name, the whole thing turns to HTML. I can't find the setting to change whatever needs to be changed. Geek son better know how to change it or I'm in trouble. Now to my comments on today.
According to hospice I'm holding my own. I don't like the faces they make when they listen to my lungs, but then I know the left lung, which causes the most frowns, is bad, so I shouldn't be surprised. However, the rest of me is doing okay, and with the exception of that unknown, unnamed, questionable elastic band around my middle that comes and goes, I have no complaints. Not happy with the need to drag 50 ft. of tubing around all over the house, but anyone on O2 is stuck with the same thing, So far, DH's idea is working well. So I'm managing.
No twists, no kinks today, If you missed yesterday's blog, you would know I got into a bit of trouble because of a kink. Today's going fine. Now if I can get to the rest of my writing objectives for today. If I hadn't had to fool with google for hours and hours, trying to find that html command, I would have been fine. Always something.
Off to start the next chapter of the new book (and praying that when I hit enter text will remain and not turn into html. Here goes)
Allison
According to hospice I'm holding my own. I don't like the faces they make when they listen to my lungs, but then I know the left lung, which causes the most frowns, is bad, so I shouldn't be surprised. However, the rest of me is doing okay, and with the exception of that unknown, unnamed, questionable elastic band around my middle that comes and goes, I have no complaints. Not happy with the need to drag 50 ft. of tubing around all over the house, but anyone on O2 is stuck with the same thing, So far, DH's idea is working well. So I'm managing.
No twists, no kinks today, If you missed yesterday's blog, you would know I got into a bit of trouble because of a kink. Today's going fine. Now if I can get to the rest of my writing objectives for today. If I hadn't had to fool with google for hours and hours, trying to find that html command, I would have been fine. Always something.
Off to start the next chapter of the new book (and praying that when I hit enter text will remain and not turn into html. Here goes)
Allison
January 15, 2014
The Journey
Busy day again today. We went to Sam's and when we came home as I was putting stuff away I failed to notice that my O2 tubing had a kink in it. How long I was not getting enough O2 I don't know, but I do know that all day I've been trying to catch up. I'm absolutely pooped. I did do some writing, in fact I finished the first chapter of the new book, but that only requires sitting at the computer with little moving around, so I could manage that.
But today, I feel for my poor DH. Fifty foot of green tubing, the O2 tubing, gets pulled around the house as I move. He gets caught in it regularly, and it twists like crazy which was why the kink this morning. He's been trying to figure out a way to keep the thing from twisting yet flexible enough so that I can move around. He spent the afternoon cutting lengths of plastic molding stuff into short sections, then place the tubing in it. So far so good. I've only got caught once. When you can't cut the tubing, or add anything that will make it heavier, it's a problem. From my hospice nurse I hear this is a major problem with anyone on O2. You either carry around a cylinder, often seven to ten pounds, or you are connected to a hose, either 25 ft or 50 ft. Neither one is good, but at least you can breathe.
Now I'm watching for kinks. (grinning) not kooks, although I know there are a lot of those. No, I'm talking about kinks...
Allison
But today, I feel for my poor DH. Fifty foot of green tubing, the O2 tubing, gets pulled around the house as I move. He gets caught in it regularly, and it twists like crazy which was why the kink this morning. He's been trying to figure out a way to keep the thing from twisting yet flexible enough so that I can move around. He spent the afternoon cutting lengths of plastic molding stuff into short sections, then place the tubing in it. So far so good. I've only got caught once. When you can't cut the tubing, or add anything that will make it heavier, it's a problem. From my hospice nurse I hear this is a major problem with anyone on O2. You either carry around a cylinder, often seven to ten pounds, or you are connected to a hose, either 25 ft or 50 ft. Neither one is good, but at least you can breathe.
Now I'm watching for kinks. (grinning) not kooks, although I know there are a lot of those. No, I'm talking about kinks...
Allison
