Alan Fadling's Blog, page 13

Unplug and Unwind: Why You Need to Prioritize Soul Rest

Blog by Gem Fadling

Right now, Alan and I are in the first week of our July mini-sabbatical. Every year, for one month, we remove ourselves from work and make space to deeply rest our hearts, minds, and bodies. We check no email. We scroll no social media. We don’t “talk shop.”

 

We let the soil of our ministry and work life lie fallow so it has the chance to rest. This fortifies us to continue the work we do. Trees and orchards cannot produce forever if they do not rest and receive a good pruning in the proper season.

 

This year will be slightly different in that we will use half of July for deep work in content development (much like an academic takes a study sabbatical) and the other half for deep rest with friends and family.

 

I wanted to share with you my journal from exactly three years ago. It’s from July 3, 2021, our very first mini-sabbatical. We traveled to Orcas Island in Washington our first week, hoping for some soul rest, and we definitely found it.

 

Here is my journal entry from that day:

 

Pine scent. Surrounded by trees. The loam. Fallen trees decaying. Moss. The sound of water. Nature bath at its best. We paused in a circle of trees and sang the doxology. I cried.

 

I didn't take a photo of that moment, but I know the image of the sun peeking through will be emblazoned in my memory. So much goodness. So many shades of green and brown. Textures both soft and hard. Water cascading over rocks and into streams.

 

No words to describe. Just gratitude.

 

We then drove to the top of Mount Constitution. Staggering views all the way to Canada, Mount Baker, and Mount Rainier.

 

I saw a bird I'd never seen before, the violet green swallow. They flew below us and we could see their bright green backs glistening in the sun. Plus so many dragonflies! And more rich pine scent.

 

Thank you, God, for such beautiful creation! The rest of the day was for rest—napping, reading, and coloring. I'm now sitting at a desk, looking out the window and enjoying the large robins hopping around on the grass below.

 

It sounds idyllic, and it was. The beauty of nature was overwhelming in its abundance.

 

I share this with you because I hope to inspire you to make space on your calendar for connecting with God in ways that are life-giving to you. You may not enjoy the outdoors like I do, but you likely have a mode or a location that is conducive to helping you sense God’s presence.

 

Some of you have a healthy rhythm of life that includes these kinds of replenishing spaces.

 

Remember, you don’t need a whole month to achieve some inner rest. I have found peace by simply sitting in my backyard for an hour. I set up my beach chair and picnic blanket on the grass while the sun beats down on my back. I read or journal, and my heart settles. You don’t have to have days, weeks, or months. You can rescue 30-60 minutes on any given weekend and practice soul rest.

 

Why do Alan and I talk about this so much? Because we believe with all our heart that your inner life with God deeply informs your outer life of relationships and work.

 

We have found that most people are tired in some form. It may show up as physical ailments, racing mind, exhaustion, growing anxiety, uncontrollable distraction, and more.

 

So we beat the drum that reminds us: 

Time is not your boss.
You can make time for what is important.
Make space for life-giving activities.
Solitude and silence can replenish you.
Soul space and physical rest are critical for your ongoing health and maturity.
An unhurried life is possible. (Remember—busy is calendar, hurry is soul.)

 

When we talk about our mini-sabbatical, I know some people think to themselves any number of thoughts: 

Must be nice.
Such a luxury.
I wish I could do that.
I could never make that kind of space in my life.
What a waste of time. You can’t be unproductive for that long.

 

And I hear it. We didn’t make space for an entire month per year until just a few years ago. And it does seem impossible, especially if you are in the child-rearing season or you work for a company that doesn’t allow such things.

 

I’m not here to tell you to do anything that doesn’t work in your current life stage.

 

I do, however, want to ask a few questions: 

How deep is the well you want to draw from?
Do you want to experience the “much fruit that lasts” that Jesus speaks of in John 15?
How expansive do you want to be?
What are you willing to do so that you can be who you want to be?

 

You don’t have to take an entire month away to access this place inside yourself. Remember my backyard time? Any kind of space made to receive from God creates space inside you. And this space becomes a reservoir from which you can draw when you most need it. It is the small, consistent investments you make that pay the most dividends.

 

I will beat this drum for as long as it takes because our culture is screaming at you from all sides: 

Be more productive!
Get going!
You don’t have time for this! Keep moving!
You have to push your way forward!
Here are a multitude of ways to distract yourself. Enjoy them all!
This is all on your shoulders!

 

Our world needs more people who are focused, centered, peaceful, and wise. And it doesn’t matter your temperament. Introverts and extroverts alike can display these qualities. The fruit of the Spirit is graciously given: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

 

Reflection 

Sometime in the next two weeks, block off 30-60 minutes in your calendar. Engage something life-giving, something that brings you joy, delight, or rest. Prioritize it the way you would keep a doctor’s appointment.
And if you like how it feels, look into your calendar and block off more space to engage again. Create patterns of refueling in your life.

Unplugged in Big Sur: Finding God in Silence and Solitude

Blog by Alan Fadling

In the summer of 2023, I finally got the opportunity to make a retreat at a place I’ve been wanting to visit for years. I drove up to the New Camaldoli Hermitage in Big Sur, California, for an eight-day silent retreat. I’ve done weeklong retreats before on the East Coast, but never here in California.

 

At the end of August, I made the drive from Orange County up to Big Sur. Several friends who lived in Northern California spoke highly about their experiences at the hermitage. Now I was finally going to make my own visit.

 

I learned that New Camaldoli is part of the larger Camaldolese order, founded a thousand years ago by St. Romuald in Camaldoli, Italy, about 40 miles east of Florence. They sought to combine the gift of communal monasticism and solitary monasticism. New Camaldoli Hermitage has been in Big Sur since the late 1950s.

 

Their life is one of prayer, seeking union with God in the way of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Their monastic life involves solitude and community, silence and interaction, prayer and work, study and recreation. I couldn’t wait to share a week in this kind of place!

 

The location lends itself well to the practice of silent retreat. First, it is a cellular and Wi-Fi desert. No coverage. No internet access. The only way to connect with the outside world is to use one of the two landlines on site. And since the whole community uses those two phones, they are often unavailable even if you want to talk with someone back home. Some may consider this a deterrent, but if you’re seeking a place of solitude, silence, and non-distraction, this is a rare and beautiful benefit.

 

The hermitage has a bluffside view of the ocean that is inspiring. I have always loved the ocean, and getting to enjoy that vista for a whole week was such a gift.

 

Over the years, Big Sur has experienced landslides that have closed Highway 1 for months at a stretch. After a landslide in early 2023, the monastery was inaccessible for months from both the north and the south. Actually, I wasn’t certain it would reopen in time for my August retreat. Thankfully, just before my retreat, the road from the north was reopened to local traffic only, and I was able to make my visit.

 

To reach New Camaldoli, I had to stop at a Caltrans checkpoint and show my reservation confirmation before being cleared to drive a couple miles of highway that had been only partially repaired. I then drove two more miles up the steep, winding driveway that ascends about 1,300 feet to the hermitage. Leaving the monastery wouldn’t be easy, so I was committed to the eight days of retreat I’d planned.

 

Another feature of New Camaldoli is that much of the housing consists of individual and solitary tiny houses spread out from one another on their 900 acres of property. Many monastic retreats I’ve visited have apartment-like housing for guests. But when I was in my hermitage, there wasn’t another house or person within my view. I was able to see only the ocean in front of me.

 

Meals at most monastery retreats are communal, even if eaten in silence. But as guests, we ate in solitude after going up to a small kitchen to get our daily food and bring it back to our hermitages. Solitude is taken very seriously at New Camaldoli.

 

Another gift, like with most monasteries, was the observance of fixed-hour prayer at which guests are welcome. The liturgies are rather simple and drawn from a single-volume prayer book that is used year-round. I found praying the psalms and hearing scripture read in this way to be deeply enriching.

 

The simplicity of these fixed-hour prayers and the flexibility of meals was a great gift. Being on a retreat for a full week gave me opportunities to actually lose track of time. That doesn’t happen often for me, but the anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing suggests that “time is made for people, not people for time.” We are not meant to serve time, but time is there to be of service to us. We are not slaves to our calendars, our schedules, our engagements. The idea that time is intended to serve us sinks in deeply on an extended retreat like this.

 

As I was checking in on my first day, I was given the gift of seeing a copy of my first book, An Unhurried Life, on the bookstore shelves. I had heard from a friend a long time back that they’d seen it there, but I was pleasantly surprised that it was still in stock.

 

My retreat in Big Sur was a time and place for prayer. Visiting somewhere that for decades has been a place of prayer is a great gift. There is something about such a place that helps me notice God’s presence more easily. It is what the Celtic Christians called a “thin place.”

 

One of the advantages of such a retreat time and place is the chance to be attentive to the presence of God and to simply acknowledge what is happening in your own heart and soul. There are so many ways to distract ourselves these days. It is a great gift to be in a place and a community where most of those outward distractions simply aren’t possible.

 

I’m a highly structured person. I like arranging my time in great detail. So it won’t surprise you that I often try to do the same with my retreats. There’s nothing wrong with structure, unless it gets in the way of what God might want to do.

 

It took me a couple days of trying to actively micromanage my retreat before I ran out of gas for that and settled into a more receptive posture in the presence of God. Monks speak of “making a retreat,” but I also think it helps to have a posture of “receiving a retreat.”

 

That’s because as a leader I’m so used to making things happen (or imagining that the main things that are happening are of my making alone). But an extended retreat is a chance to tune into what God may be doing, how God may be speaking, where God may be guiding. This sort of practice has grown my ability to discern God in the middle of my busy work life back at home.

 

In a chapter of my book A Non-Anxious Life titled “Rhythms of Peace,” I talk about six postures that help us engage well in spiritual retreat: solitude, silence, stillness, sameness, stability, and simplicity.

 

These six postures are holy “nos” that I practice in order to offer God a more wholehearted “yes” on retreat. They open the way for me to notice God’s company, God’s voice, God’s movement, God’s creativity, God’s presence, and God’s richness.

 

This awareness deepens for me over the course of a retreat. And I bring that back with me to my life, my relationships, and my work. It’s hard for me to overestimate the value of this retreat practice in my life through the years.

 

I’ll share more about my experience at New Camaldoli in a couple of future posts.

 

For Reflection:

What is your current experience of spiritual retreat? Can you envision the difference between making a retreat happen and receiving the gift of a retreat?
When, if ever, have you lost track of time like I did on this retreat? How does the idea of time as a servant rather than as a master align with your experience?

UL #301: Overcoming Hurry Sickness: The Virus of Overwork (Alan)

 

In my book, An Unhurried Life, I wrote a chapter titled “Productivity: Unhurried Isn’t Lazy,” in part, to speak to our tendency to assume that productivity is always about doing more and more and more. But what if true productivity is, at least in part, about doing qualitatively better work, even if it seems less busy than before? 

 

There is a cultural bias for always staying busy. I’m sharing the last of three episodes about sources of hurry in our lives. In the first two, I talked about how anxiety and insecurity are significant contributors, motors, or even viruses for hurry in our lives. 

 

Today, I’ll talk about overwork as a third virus of hurry that is epidemic in our current context. 

From Rush to Rest: Navigating Life's Terrain with an Unhurried Heart

Blog by Gem Fadling

I love watching travelogues and cooking shows, so if there’s a show that combines the two, I’m hooked. If you are familiar with the names Phil Rosenthal, Guy Fieri, and Andrew Zimmern, then you know what I’m talking about.

 

Traveling, eating tasty food, and meeting intriguing people is a combination my heart longs for. I’ve often mentioned to Alan that if I could have a job in an alternate universe, I would be the host of Somebody Feed Phil (and I guess Phil would just have to find his own new job).

 

Awhile back I stumbled upon a YouTube channel hosted by a young woman named Eva zu Beck. Eva travels, along with her dog, in an overlander. She vlogs about her nomadic lifestyle and shares the beauty of the terrain as well as the people she meets. She also reveals her own personal journey and the process of traveling alone. If you have an inner traveler, you might want to check out her channel.

 

In one video Eva shared a journal excerpt from her grandfather who had also been a world traveler. I was struck by his words and felt they rang out with the unhurried theme. Here’s what he wrote as he processed the miles he had traversed:

 

I noticed something changing in me. I’ve lost all my rush. The miles no longer impress me. Whether there’s one hundred, two hundred or six hundred of them, they leave me indifferent because I must cross that distance anyway.

 

So I’m not afraid of distances anymore. And the same applies to time. Whether I’m due to be on the road for five hours or seventeen—what’s the difference? Either way, I must reach my destination.

 

I don’t get anxious about the slow, tortoise-like pace. I simply get into my vehicle and I ride so far and for so long, in absolute peace, until I finally reach the destination that I have set for myself.

 

I also don’t let myself get bothered by the discomforts, such as a hard seat, heat, dust, the lack of water. All of this, in its own way, is beautiful and wonderful.

 

Whoever cannot adapt to this kind of life; in fact, whoever cannot come to love this kind of life, cannot be a true traveler.

 

To be a true traveler requires strength of character. (You can read Eva’s post HERE.)

 

These words brought to mind the title of Eugene Peterson’s book A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. I’ve chosen a path, focus, vision, and direction, and I’m in the for the long haul. And I believe you are too. Over my 60 years of life, God has certainly sustained me through all that life has thrown at me.

 

Eva’s grandfather stumbled upon some truly unhurried dynamics:

 

The distance doesn’t matter. I must cross the terrain anyway, so it’s okay to ease in and let go.
A slow pace need not lead to anxiety. I can choose peace and simply move forward.
Maybe it’s possible to find beauty in discomfort. (Think of inner desert, wilderness, or fog-like seasons of life.)
Traveling a long distance requires strength of character.

 

During last July’s one-month mini-sabbatical, my heart did, in fact, have a chance to slow inside. We engaged a multiday road trip, and I had enough space to let go of the next day and to take things as they came. It’s a great feeling to not feel trapped by the clock or calendar.

 

I wondered if it was possible to bring that spirit back into my work. What would it look like to live each day on its own terms, without dreading what was to come? Yes, there was a plan on our trip, but I didn’t have to strive or reach for what was next. I was in a different mode.

 

Why is it so hard for me to engage that relaxed mode in my regular life?

 

On vacation I lived each day as it came. I went to bed each night feeling thankful for the day I was in. The next day I got up and engaged whatever the day held. I let it flow, and if there was anything on that day’s agenda I just went—no pushing or striving.

 

I determined to try to continue the practice at work: live each day, go to bed thankful for the day, and not think about the next day with any kind of fear or anxiety. My work anxieties flare when I bring a future event into my present. I carry too many things at once and it becomes burdensome. But I don’t look ahead like that in vacation mode. Maybe this could become practice for my regular life.

 

Without this shift of mindset, I can be like a ball in a pinball machine. The pace and proclamations of our culture repeatedly slap me back into that game-maze: You need this! You need that! You’re behind! Get going! Ping, ping-ping, ping!

 

An expansive, settled, unrushed journey can be engaged without striving. I know this is true because I have experienced it on vacation. So why not try it in work mode? This is what I’m practicing.

 

Pushing, trying, and angsting do not work for me. If I can maintain a larger and more relaxed view, then I do not have to fall prey to the culture’s traps. Maybe I could find my place and enjoy the ride.

 

I choose not to be the ball in the pinball machine. I’m opening the cover, reaching in, taking my ball, and walking away. I could then hold that ball in my open hand as I meet with God, seeking wisdom, love, and care.

 

And like Eva’s grandfather, I could simply drive at my pace, enjoying the beauty of the terrain and making my way in peace.

 

For Reflection: 

How do you feel about the pace of your work life? What might be done about that?
What character growth do you notice as you continue your own long obedience in the same direction?
What might you let go of to engage life the way you desire?

UL #300: Navigating Life's Crossroads (Gem with Emily P. Freeman)

 

If life were a house, then every room holds a story. What do we do when a room we’re in is no longer a room where we belong?

 

What do you do when you start to feel a shift and must decide if it’s time to make a change? When it comes to navigating big decisions about when to stay and go, how can we know for sure when the time is right? Though we enter and exit many rooms over the course of our life—jobs, relationships, communities, life stages—knowing how and when it’s time to leave is a decision that rarely has a clear answer.

 

My guest today, Emily P. Freeman, offers guidance to help us recognize when it’s time to move on from situations that no longer fit, allowing us to find new spaces where we can flourish and grow.

 

Emily P. Freeman is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of five books, including The Next Right Thing: A Simple, Soulful Practice for Making Life Decisions. As a spiritual director, workshop leader, and host of The Next Right Thing podcast, her most important work is to help create soul space and offer spiritual companionship and discernment for anyone struggling with decision fatigue. Emily holds a master’s degree in spiritual formation and leadership from Friends University. She lives in North Carolina with her family.

Beyond Resistance: Discovering Peace Through Dependence and Surrender

Blog by Alan Fadling

Two weeks ago, I wrote about humility and gentleness, two little virtues that can guide us into Jesus’s way of peace. Today, I’ll share three more little virtues that can help us.

 

The third little virtue that guides us to places of peace is…

 

Patience

One of the older English words for patience is “longsuffering.” Patience is being willing to endure certain forms of suffering or discomfort, especially in the service of others. At first glance, does that sound peaceful to you? Me either.

 

Impatience is being utterly unwilling to wait. Waiting feels like an inevitable place of anxiety. But what or who we are waiting for makes a great deal of difference. At times, my anxiety is an impatient companion demanding that an unpleasant situation change more quickly to something pleasant. This desire is understandable and natural. But the way of peace moves along the path of patient goodness.

 

A practice I’ve sometimes recommended to assess the level of hurry in your soul is to purposely drive in the right lane of the freeway. It probably sounds like unnecessary torture. When I’ve tried this practice on, my first interior reaction is usually frustration and irritation. I’m losing something. I’m wasting time. Maybe.

 

Or maybe the five or ten minutes I’ll gain weaving through traffic to win my own version of the Freeway Grand Prix is costing more than it’s saving me. The anger that lies just below the surface when I consider every person on the highway as an opponent to be beaten has a way of being corrosive.

 

When I’ve settled into the right lane (or stayed in any one lane regardless of how often I am passed by other drivers), I’ve eventually found that not being in a race is a more peaceful way to drive. If someone else wins that race, it costs me nothing. And what do they win anyway? The more peaceful me that arrives at my destination slightly later is a much better win.

 

Impatience is forgetting that peace is more gift than paycheck. It is more grace than works. It is more about being received than achieved. This is, at least in part, why little virtues like humility, gentleness, and patience pave the way of peace far more than pride, harshness, and impatience.

 

So in our journey toward a more non-anxious life, patience replaces the anger I feel when I assume the way to peace lies in demanding it now from the people and circumstances around me.

 

A fourth little virtue that helps us find peace is…

 

Dependence

 When I say that dependence is a pathway to peace, I’m not talking about any old variety of dependence. Being dependent on someone who is unreliable or unkind does not lead to peace. Who we are dependent on makes all the difference.

 

There is, after all, a sort of holy independence in which we resist the temptation to be defined by others. But there is also an unholy independence in which we resist God’s way for us. We have a Maker, and that Maker has a good design and beautiful purpose for our lives. The proper and, in fact, peaceful response to that design is something called obedience. Obedience? Something inside us likely cringes at that word.

 

We may think, “Obedience is for pets. Obedience is for children. Obedience isn’t for an adult like me.” But we all have someone or something we obey, whether that’s our own cravings or the advice of a person we admire. Holy obedience is agreeing—in mind, heart, and way—with the good wisdom of our Maker. Peace comes in alignment with God’s purposes in and for our lives.

 

So we find our way into peace as holy dependence replaces any self-reliance that assumes I must acquire peace by my own self-directed efforts.

 

And, finally, a fifth little virtue that helps us experience deeper peace is…

 

Surrender

If humility, gentleness, patience, and dependence are unpopular virtues in our culture, surrender is anathema.

 

Ours is a culture that treasures independence and never surrendering. I’m not recommending that we surrender our lives to every impulse, priority, or idea to cross our paths. That sort of surrender never helps anyone. Like with dependence, the one to whom we surrender makes all the difference.

 

As in these other little virtues, Jesus is our supreme example. I think of him in Gethsemane’s olive grove as he wrestles in prayer over what lies before him. His friends join him in this familiar time and place of prayer on this evening when he will be arrested and begin making his way to the cross.

 

Being fully God and fully human, Jesus wrestles with the horrible suffering he will endure at the hands of the Romans. He pleads, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matt. 26:39). What he prays for is not wrong, yet out of love he is willing to surrender his own desires for that which is best.

 

We are living in a time very much like that of the Old Testament judges. The last line of the book of Judges says, “In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (21:25 ESV).

 

There was no sense of common good, only of personal good defined as each one saw fit. We’re living in such a time now. If this sort of self-reliance and willfulness leads to reliable peace for us, then why is anxiety at an all-time high?

 

Just the other day as I scrolled on one of my social media feeds, I saw a meme that said, “Feeling overwhelmed? Life out of control? Try giving up!” That’s the spirit of the connection I’m making here between surrender and peace.

 

When it comes to walking the way of peace, surrender replaces the willfulness that assumes peace is something I achieve rather than receive.

 

Conclusion

Even as I wrote this post, I felt resistance in myself. I heard my own skeptical mind saying, “That’s a load of greeting card fluff.” But my own experience has taught me that more peace is found in humility than in pride. More peace comes from being gentle than from taking a harsh posture toward others. More peace comes in practicing patience than in maintaining an edge of anger. More peace comes in receptive dependence than self-reliant independence.

 

Learning to align ourselves with God’s very good way for us tends to increase peace in our lives and our work. This is what I think the psalmist means when he writes, “Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other” (Psalm 85:10).

 

The close relationship between righteousness and peace is fostered through the little virtues.

 

In reflecting on the transformative power of humility, gentleness, patience, dependence, and surrender, we confront our own resistance and skepticism. Yet, in our honest exploration, we discover that these virtues hold the key to genuine peace in our lives. As we grapple with our inner doubts and hesitations, we can also welcome the invitation to conversation with God, allowing these postures of peace to guide us on our continuing journey into non-anxious living.

 

For Reflection:

What have you been feeling as you read about humility, gentleness, patience, dependence, and surrender being pathways to peace? What resistance arises in you? Is there anything that feels inviting?
Consider the idea of holy dependence versus unholy independence. In what areas of your life are you relying more on your own efforts rather than aligning with God's wisdom and purpose?

 

UL #299: Lead with Prayer (Alan with Peter Greer)

 

 

How do prayer and leadership relate to each other? Looking at the lives of some leaders, it seems like prayer is incidental to leadership at best. For others, it’s a personal priority that doesn’t seem to impact leadership in any obvious way. For still others, prayer is like an on-ramp, preparatory for the work of leadership but largely left behind when the leading begins. 

 

What does Christian leadership that is deeply rooted in a life of communion with God look like? I’ll be talking about this today with Peter Greer, one of the authors of Lead With Prayer. 

 

Peter Greer, is the president and CEO of HOPE International, a global Christ-centered economic development organization serving throughout Africa, Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe. Under Peter’s leadership, HOPE has expanded from working in two to over twenty countries and served over 2.5 million families. Prior to joining HOPE, Peter worked in Cambodia, Zimbabwe, and Rwanda. He has co-authored 15 books, including Mission Drift, Rooting for Rivals, The Gift of Disillusionment, and The Spiritual Danger of Doing Good.

Focus vs. Distraction: Unpacking the Mary & Martha Story

Blog by Gem Fadling

In the retelling of the Mary and Martha story, many people inadvertently pit these sisters against each other. We are forced to make a choice: “I’m a Mary” or (as I more regularly hear) “I’m a Martha.” As though these women were tropes or types on a personality test.

 

This is unfortunate, because then we are drawn to take sides. Our own identity becomes wrapped up in defending one woman or the other.

 

Before I unpack this further, I’ll give you the spoiler: This story isn’t about busy people and lazy people. We are ALL invited to follow the example of Mary and focus on the one thing of Jesus.

 

To make our way forward, it might be easier if we replaced Mary and Martha with focus and distraction.

 

Martha is the depiction of distraction in this story. She is preoccupied with something that is, in fact, important: feeding the people in her home. But Mary chooses to focus on what is truly important, and Jesus explicitly points this out.

 

Have you ever noticed how even important things can sometimes become distractions?

 

Martha is also deeply concerned about how it will look to others if Mary sits in a room full of men. This was simply not done in first-century Jewish culture. Martha has a genuine concern about Mary’s reputation as a woman sitting at the feet of Jesus in the posture of a disciple.

 

Even if Martha’s concern was warranted, Jesus turns the situation into a teaching moment for them and for us.

 

Here’s the whole story from Luke 10:38-42:

 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

 

In his book Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes, Kenneth Bailey suggests the meaning of Jesus’s words to Martha:

 

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things. I understand the entire list. One thing is needed. What is missing is not one more plate of food but rather for you to understand that I am providing the meal and that your sister has already chosen the good portion. I will not allow you to take it from her. A good student is more important to me than a good meal.”

 

So, again, this is not about Type A and Type B personalities, with the need to defend oneself by asserting that “someone needs to get all the things done.” Jesus is saying there is only one thing needed and Mary has chosen it—sitting at the feet of Jesus as a disciple, as an apprentice, as one being taught.

 

I’ve thought a lot about Mary and Martha, and I have a deep desire to experience them as more than a punchline about the need to get things done.

 

What if we stopped categorizing ourselves as a Martha or a Mary depending on whether we’re a busy bee or a quiet contemplative?

 

That is not the central conversation here. Jesus says to Martha:

 “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

 

The passage also says that Martha was distracted. Add to that the dynamics of worried and upset and you have a mini perfect storm of overwhelm or unhealthy hurry.

 

This is the central conversation. Whether you like to be busy and do a lot of things is not what this is about. Dallas Willard, who famously counseled us to “ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives,” also said, “You have never seen people more active than those who have been set on fire by the grace of God.”

 

Contemplation and action make wonderful sisters. This is the seedbed of Unhurried Living’s tagline: Rest Deeper. Live Fuller. Lead Better.

 

The real question is this: Are you distracted, worried, and upset about many things? That’s where we want to pay attention—not on whether we are an introvert or an extrovert, or a busy bee or someone who is slow and steady.

 

Mary and Martha are not memes. They are not personality types. They are not even adversaries. They are sisters. I’d like to imagine that, at their best, both Mary and Martha were good at offering hospitality as well as listening to Jesus. I prefer not to relegate them to two dimensions.

 

The gift for us here is we get to decide what is central, our one thing. Jesus makes it clear in this story that “few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

 

You also get to decide what distracts you. Sometimes, even important things can become distractions that lead to worry. This is something you can discern in prayer or even with your spiritual director, pastor, or coach.

 

I believe with all my heart that this world needs leaders who are focused, centered, undistracted, loving, and overflowing with the fruit of the Spirit.

 

I know you are on this journey already, and I encourage you to keep contending for the good, beautiful, and true with Jesus, our Good Shepherd, as your guide.

 

For Reflection: 

What are some common distractions in your life these days? What can you do to mitigate or reduce these?
What practices or ways of being do you have in place currently to keep Jesus as the one thing in your life? What else might you add to your list?
What good, beautiful, or true activity might you engage today?

 

UL #298: From Rush to Rest: Navigating Life's Terrain with an Unhurried Heart (Gem)

 

I love watching travel and cooking shows, so if there’s a show that combines the two, I’m hooked. If you are familiar with the names Phil Rosenthal, Guy Fieri and Andrew Zimmern, then you know what I’m talking about. 

 

Traveling, eating tasty food, and meeting intriguing people is a combination my heart longs for. I’ve often mentioned to Alan that if I were to have an alternate universe job, I would be the host of Somebody Feed Phil (I guess Phil would have to find his own new job).

UL #298: From Rush to Rest: Navigating Life's Terrain with an Unhurried Heart (Gem)

 

I love watching travel and cooking shows, so if there’s a show that combines the two, I’m hooked. If you are familiar with the names Phil Rosenthal, Guy Fieri and Andrew Zimmern, then you know what I’m talking about. 

 

Traveling, eating tasty food, and meeting intriguing people is a combination my heart longs for. I’ve often mentioned to Alan that if I were to have an alternate universe job, I would be the host of Somebody Feed Phil (I guess Phil would have to find his own new job).