Grea Alexander's Blog, page 9
May 4, 2016
Current Grea Alexander Goodreads Giveaways
Bow down before me.
Stand and adore me.
Grea Alexander
Give-aways!
That's right little Monkeys of the Sea, I'm too bogged down to write a clever new intro so I'm recycling the prevous one! You're welcome!
It's that time again! Time to enter to win a paperback copy of the novel de jour..... and whatever else decides to hitch a ride in the box. (Disclaimer: Anything found alive in the box is the sole responsibility of the prize claimant and may not be returned to sender.)
Best of all, all SMI Giveaways are open Worldwide! Yay you!
Now showing:
LAST DAY TO ENTER:
Rebellion Book I: Book of Quay
Feb 06 - May 05, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
ONGOING:
Cabello
Mar 06 - Jun 02, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Miael
Apr 14 - Jul 11, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Enter today...or tomorrow!
And remember: Quitters never win...except at Russian Roulette.
----
Keep up to date on all Seamonkey Ink & Grea Alexander special promotions including the most comprehensive listing of current & upcoming giveaways here: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
You can also follow me on Twitter @SeaMonkeyInk and fan me on GoodReads at https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... .....at least until I get that restraining order!
Cheers!
Grea Alexander
AKA The Brick Road on the Nice Side of Town
Stand and adore me.
Grea Alexander
Give-aways!
That's right little Monkeys of the Sea, I'm too bogged down to write a clever new intro so I'm recycling the prevous one! You're welcome!
It's that time again! Time to enter to win a paperback copy of the novel de jour..... and whatever else decides to hitch a ride in the box. (Disclaimer: Anything found alive in the box is the sole responsibility of the prize claimant and may not be returned to sender.)
Best of all, all SMI Giveaways are open Worldwide! Yay you!
Now showing:
LAST DAY TO ENTER:
Rebellion Book I: Book of Quay
Feb 06 - May 05, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
ONGOING:
Cabello
Mar 06 - Jun 02, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Miael
Apr 14 - Jul 11, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Enter today...or tomorrow!
And remember: Quitters never win...except at Russian Roulette.
----
Keep up to date on all Seamonkey Ink & Grea Alexander special promotions including the most comprehensive listing of current & upcoming giveaways here: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
You can also follow me on Twitter @SeaMonkeyInk and fan me on GoodReads at https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... .....at least until I get that restraining order!
Cheers!
Grea Alexander
AKA The Brick Road on the Nice Side of Town
April 12, 2016
NEW AmazonGiveaway: Amarna Book I: Book of Ida!
Congratulations to the Winners of my Previous Amazon Giveaway.
Now it's time for a new one!
This one only requires you to follow me on Amazon (which should be easy peasy as you have to have an Amazon account and be logged in to enter anyway).
Yay Me!
Now on with the show!
------
Did the Amarna line really end with Pharaoh Tutankhamun's Death?
Win the ebook & find out!
Enter here! https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/63021bb...
-----
On the plus side, this is an Instant Win contest. You will know after just a few clicks of the mouse whether you won or not.
Don't have a Kindle or compatible ereader? No worries! You can read it on your computer or mobile device with their free app!
The Fine Print:
Grea Alexander has paid for all prizes, sales tax, and shipping. Entry requires an Amazon.com account. Amazon will ship prizes to winners. Your account information is not shared with Grea Alexander (except winners' names which may be made public). Amazon is not a sponsor of this promotion.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Every eligible entry has 1 in 30 chance to win, up to 10 winners. This giveaway starts Apr 12, 2016 10:58 AM PDT and ends Apr 27, 2016 11:59 PM PDT or when all prizes have been awarded.
Entrants must also be (as required by Amazon):
- A resident of the 50 United States or the District of Columbia
- Be18+ years of age (or legal age)
Enjoy & good luck!
Grea.
Now it's time for a new one!
This one only requires you to follow me on Amazon (which should be easy peasy as you have to have an Amazon account and be logged in to enter anyway).
Yay Me!
Now on with the show!
------
Did the Amarna line really end with Pharaoh Tutankhamun's Death?
Win the ebook & find out!
Enter here! https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/63021bb...
-----
On the plus side, this is an Instant Win contest. You will know after just a few clicks of the mouse whether you won or not.
Don't have a Kindle or compatible ereader? No worries! You can read it on your computer or mobile device with their free app!
The Fine Print:
Grea Alexander has paid for all prizes, sales tax, and shipping. Entry requires an Amazon.com account. Amazon will ship prizes to winners. Your account information is not shared with Grea Alexander (except winners' names which may be made public). Amazon is not a sponsor of this promotion.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Every eligible entry has 1 in 30 chance to win, up to 10 winners. This giveaway starts Apr 12, 2016 10:58 AM PDT and ends Apr 27, 2016 11:59 PM PDT or when all prizes have been awarded.
Entrants must also be (as required by Amazon):
- A resident of the 50 United States or the District of Columbia
- Be18+ years of age (or legal age)
Enjoy & good luck!
Grea.
April 1, 2016
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest
I haven't written poetry in FOREVER. I mean for DECADES.
Still, when I saw the subject "$1,000 for a humor poem" in my inbox a little over a week ago, I decided to check it out.
Though I convinced myself that this no fee opportunity for financial gain seemed worth a gander, I procrastinated and procrastinated - distinctly disenchanted with the prospect of writing a poem.
My disenchantment was so entrenched in fact that I literally, about an hour ago, finally forced myself to the task. Did I mention that this contest ends in an hour or so (dependent upon time zone)?
Luckily, I produced something more than passable with about 10 minutes to spare, hit the submit button amid curses at my computer to go faster and with a respectable 3 minute margin to boot.
What did I submit you ask? A play on my Open Seasons Blog piece inspired by a stop 90 minutes before at Target and a stroll through their Easter clearance shelves.
Sure they might ball up my humor poem and wipe their arses with my effort (which would be quite a feat mind you considering that I entered electronically), but I must say it wasn't as terrible and painful of an experience as I dared imagine it to be. And as usual, I surprised even myself. (Thanks to GOD for making me so bloody awesome!)
So, without further ado:
Seasons Greed-ings
Seasons Greed-ings,
Open seasons,
Holidays slither closer, closer together.
What do I do?
Retail hullabaloo,
Holidays mushed indelibly, forever.
Happy New Tines!
Happy St. Easter!
My hangover has a basket of hearts.
Barbecue and beer,
And fireworks appear,
When Memorial of July Day festivity starts.
And there's no forgetting,
HallowThankMas Giving,
Masks, tinsel, turkeys strewn across the floor.
With the wink of an eye,
They all pass us by,
Pockets emptier - faster, faster, more.
Each holiday's kitsch,
Now lives in a ditch,
Like the victims of some horrid crash.
My senses overwhelmed,
This retail hell helmed,
To steer me away from my cash.
A hoarder's dream!
Peeps, chocolate, ice cream,
Neither my brain nor wallet comprehend.
How this came to be,
This holi-mockery,
By GOD oh when will it end!
Still, when I saw the subject "$1,000 for a humor poem" in my inbox a little over a week ago, I decided to check it out.
Though I convinced myself that this no fee opportunity for financial gain seemed worth a gander, I procrastinated and procrastinated - distinctly disenchanted with the prospect of writing a poem.
My disenchantment was so entrenched in fact that I literally, about an hour ago, finally forced myself to the task. Did I mention that this contest ends in an hour or so (dependent upon time zone)?
Luckily, I produced something more than passable with about 10 minutes to spare, hit the submit button amid curses at my computer to go faster and with a respectable 3 minute margin to boot.
What did I submit you ask? A play on my Open Seasons Blog piece inspired by a stop 90 minutes before at Target and a stroll through their Easter clearance shelves.
Sure they might ball up my humor poem and wipe their arses with my effort (which would be quite a feat mind you considering that I entered electronically), but I must say it wasn't as terrible and painful of an experience as I dared imagine it to be. And as usual, I surprised even myself. (Thanks to GOD for making me so bloody awesome!)
So, without further ado:
Seasons Greed-ings
Seasons Greed-ings,
Open seasons,
Holidays slither closer, closer together.
What do I do?
Retail hullabaloo,
Holidays mushed indelibly, forever.
Happy New Tines!
Happy St. Easter!
My hangover has a basket of hearts.
Barbecue and beer,
And fireworks appear,
When Memorial of July Day festivity starts.
And there's no forgetting,
HallowThankMas Giving,
Masks, tinsel, turkeys strewn across the floor.
With the wink of an eye,
They all pass us by,
Pockets emptier - faster, faster, more.
Each holiday's kitsch,
Now lives in a ditch,
Like the victims of some horrid crash.
My senses overwhelmed,
This retail hell helmed,
To steer me away from my cash.
A hoarder's dream!
Peeps, chocolate, ice cream,
Neither my brain nor wallet comprehend.
How this came to be,
This holi-mockery,
By GOD oh when will it end!
March 16, 2016
M-mmm Good
The fat lady is belting her heart out right about now.
Thank you to everyone who took advantage of this rare opportunity. The coupon code goes radio silent at midnight April 1st - no ifs, ands ,buts or exceptions (though you can read it whenever you get around to once you have "bought it" for free.) And as I said, you can share this offer with whomever you choose.
To everyone else: *&^ ^%$# *&^%$**^##
Enjoy!
Grea.
-------
Fa-la-la-la-laaa-fa-follow Grea!
Hello follower type people!
Curious about my upcoming novel M?
Well, I have a little treat in store for you.
GoodReads Followers:
Send me a message with the Subject "I'm in the M Crowd" by 3/31 or RVSP to this event: https://www.goodreads.com/event/show/... and on April 1st, I will send you a Smashwords code for an EXCLUSIVE sneak peek of Chapter 1!
Twitter Followers:
Send me a tweet at @SeaMonkeyInk with #ImInTheMCrowd by 3/31 or RSVP to this event https://www.goodreads.com/event/show/... and on April 1st, I will tweet you a Smashwords code for an EXCLUSIVE sneak peek of Chapter 1!
It's as easy as click, type, send!
Not a follower yet? Never fear! It's not too late to follow now (as long as it's before 11:58pm on 3/31/2016 & you send the tweet/message).
See? I told you membership had it's privileges.
Grea.
The fine print: Code will only be given to current GoodReaders/Tweeters who follow Grea Alexander on GoodReads/Twitter as of April 1st AND have sent the message by 3/31 at 11:59p Central Standard Time.
By participating in this promotion you are agreeing to jack schitt. Here at SeaMonkey Ink, we're far too lazy to collect your data, distribute your info or keep contacting you.
Code will be valid only on Smashwords & only on April 1st.
Also note: You may share the code/preview chapter with whomever you like!
Want the preview chapter earlier? It will cost you.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Thank you to everyone who took advantage of this rare opportunity. The coupon code goes radio silent at midnight April 1st - no ifs, ands ,buts or exceptions (though you can read it whenever you get around to once you have "bought it" for free.) And as I said, you can share this offer with whomever you choose.
To everyone else: *&^ ^%$# *&^%$**^##
Enjoy!
Grea.
-------
Fa-la-la-la-laaa-fa-follow Grea!
Hello follower type people!
Curious about my upcoming novel M?
Well, I have a little treat in store for you.
GoodReads Followers:
Send me a message with the Subject "I'm in the M Crowd" by 3/31 or RVSP to this event: https://www.goodreads.com/event/show/... and on April 1st, I will send you a Smashwords code for an EXCLUSIVE sneak peek of Chapter 1!
Twitter Followers:
Send me a tweet at @SeaMonkeyInk with #ImInTheMCrowd by 3/31 or RSVP to this event https://www.goodreads.com/event/show/... and on April 1st, I will tweet you a Smashwords code for an EXCLUSIVE sneak peek of Chapter 1!
It's as easy as click, type, send!
Not a follower yet? Never fear! It's not too late to follow now (as long as it's before 11:58pm on 3/31/2016 & you send the tweet/message).
See? I told you membership had it's privileges.
Grea.
The fine print: Code will only be given to current GoodReaders/Tweeters who follow Grea Alexander on GoodReads/Twitter as of April 1st AND have sent the message by 3/31 at 11:59p Central Standard Time.
By participating in this promotion you are agreeing to jack schitt. Here at SeaMonkey Ink, we're far too lazy to collect your data, distribute your info or keep contacting you.
Code will be valid only on Smashwords & only on April 1st.
Also note: You may share the code/preview chapter with whomever you like!
Want the preview chapter earlier? It will cost you.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Compilation Editions
Yes, finally.
Compilation Editions of both the Amarna Series & the Rebellion Series are coming down the pipe within the next week.
Amarna
Rebellion
While I try to write my serials in such a way that one can pick up any book in the series and understand what's happening, my books build upon each other and add an even deeper level of meaning to the occurrences in the book that follows.
Enjoy!
Compilation Editions of both the Amarna Series & the Rebellion Series are coming down the pipe within the next week.
Amarna
Rebellion
While I try to write my serials in such a way that one can pick up any book in the series and understand what's happening, my books build upon each other and add an even deeper level of meaning to the occurrences in the book that follows.
Enjoy!
March 12, 2016
Amarna I: Book of Ida Amazon Giveaway
Did the Amarna line really end with Pharaoh Tutankhamun's Death?
Win the ebook & find out!
Enter here! https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/156195c...
-----
On the plus side, this is an Instant Win contest. You will know after just a few clicks of the mouse whether you won or not.
Don't have a Kindle or compatible ereader? No worries! You can read it on your computer or mobile device with their free app!
The Fine Print:
You will need to authorize the "Amazon" application on Twitter to follow or confirm you follow @SeaMonkeyInk
Grea Alexander has paid for all prizes, sales tax, and shipping. Entry requires an Amazon.com account and a Twitter account. Amazon will ship prizes to winners. Your account information is not shared with Grea Alexander (except winners' names which may be made public). Amazon is not a sponsor of this promotion.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Every eligible entry has 1 in 1,000 chance to win, up to 10 winners. This giveaway started March 12,2016 3:31 PM PST and ends the earlier of April 11,2016 11:59 PM PDT or when all prizes have been awarded.
Entrants must also be (as required by Amazon):
- A resident of the 50 United States or the District of Columbia
- Be18+ years of age (or legal age)
Enjoy & good luck!
Grea.
Win the ebook & find out!
Enter here! https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/156195c...
-----
On the plus side, this is an Instant Win contest. You will know after just a few clicks of the mouse whether you won or not.
Don't have a Kindle or compatible ereader? No worries! You can read it on your computer or mobile device with their free app!
The Fine Print:
You will need to authorize the "Amazon" application on Twitter to follow or confirm you follow @SeaMonkeyInk
Grea Alexander has paid for all prizes, sales tax, and shipping. Entry requires an Amazon.com account and a Twitter account. Amazon will ship prizes to winners. Your account information is not shared with Grea Alexander (except winners' names which may be made public). Amazon is not a sponsor of this promotion.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Every eligible entry has 1 in 1,000 chance to win, up to 10 winners. This giveaway started March 12,2016 3:31 PM PST and ends the earlier of April 11,2016 11:59 PM PDT or when all prizes have been awarded.
Entrants must also be (as required by Amazon):
- A resident of the 50 United States or the District of Columbia
- Be18+ years of age (or legal age)
Enjoy & good luck!
Grea.
March 11, 2016
Current SeaMonkeyInk Giveaways
Bow down before me.
Stand and adore me.
Grea Alexander
Give-aways!
That's right little Monkeys of the Sea! It's that time again! Time to enter to win a paperback copy of the novel de jour..... and whatever else decides to hitch a ride in the box. (Disclaimer: Anything found alive in the box is the sole responsibility of the prize claimant and may not be returned to sender.)
Best of all, all SMI Giveaways are open Worldwide! Yay you!
Now showing:
Rebellion Book I: Book of Quay
Feb 06 - May 05, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Cabello
Mar 06 - Jun 02, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Enter today...or tomorrow!
And remember: Quitters never win...except at Russian Roulette.
----
Keep up to date on all Seamonkey Ink & Grea Alexander special promotions including the most comprehensive listing of current & upcoming giveaways here: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
You can also follow me on Twitter @SeaMonkeyInk and fan me on GoodReads at https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... .....at least until I get that restraining order!
Cheers!
Grea Alexander
AKA The Brick Road on the Nice Side of Town
Stand and adore me.
Grea Alexander
Give-aways!
That's right little Monkeys of the Sea! It's that time again! Time to enter to win a paperback copy of the novel de jour..... and whatever else decides to hitch a ride in the box. (Disclaimer: Anything found alive in the box is the sole responsibility of the prize claimant and may not be returned to sender.)
Best of all, all SMI Giveaways are open Worldwide! Yay you!
Now showing:
Rebellion Book I: Book of Quay
Feb 06 - May 05, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Cabello
Mar 06 - Jun 02, 2016!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Enter today...or tomorrow!
And remember: Quitters never win...except at Russian Roulette.
----
Keep up to date on all Seamonkey Ink & Grea Alexander special promotions including the most comprehensive listing of current & upcoming giveaways here: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
You can also follow me on Twitter @SeaMonkeyInk and fan me on GoodReads at https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... .....at least until I get that restraining order!
Cheers!
Grea Alexander
AKA The Brick Road on the Nice Side of Town
March 6, 2016
Lions & Tigers & Sales... Oh My!
Another giveaway has come to a close.
Congratulations to my winner (all the way in Indonesia) & a big, hearty, helpin' of thank you to everyone else who entered.
I must admit that I am lovin' all the love from everyone who entered, added my book(s) and decided to stalk, er, follow me.
Divas need love too....Klymaxx https://youtu.be/B1Azsa8r1jI
And let us not forget the Naughty Girls who, according to both myself AND Samantha Fox, also need love https://youtu.be/pXEN57rFnIM
But wait! There's more!
Because ya'll are so extraordinarily awesome, I've decided to participate in the Smashwords 2016 Read an Ebook Week Promotion.
What the hell is Read an Ebook Week you ask? Well, Read an Ebook Week is an annual, international celebration of ebooks in which thousands of authors, publishers and retailers feature free and discounted ebooks to help promote the joys of e-reading to the world's readers.
What does that mean for you?
Well, I'll tell you, you greedy little grubby fingered fans! It means that THIS WEEK, from March 6-12th, you can get:
Ridiculously Historically Accurate Historical Fiction
Amarna Book I: Book of Ida 50% off with coupon code RAE50 or only $1.50
Amarna Book II: Book of Hawara 25% off with coupon code RAE25 or only $2.24
Amarna Book III: Book of Raia 00% off cause there's no coupon or only $2.99
Snarky, Twisted, Steamy Historical Drama/Romance
Rebellion Book I: Book of Quay 50% off with coupon code RAE50 or only $2.50
Rebellion Book II: Book of Soung 25% off with coupon code RAE25 or only $3.74
Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi 00% off cause there's no coupon or only $4.99
Quirky, Dark Paranormal Horror
Cabello 50% off with coupon code RAE50 or only $1.50'
The Pack: Addison 00% off cause there's no coupon or only $2.99
-----------
Don't feel like writing these codes down/remembering them? No worries! Smashwords has stuck these coupon codes right under the BUY button for each title!
Note: All prices are in U.S. dollars. Coupon codes/discount offer is only valid on Smashwords.com. Any taxes are between you, Smashwords & your government.
All works are copyrighted by Grea Alexander & Seamonkey Ink. You MAY NOT post any of these works online without express written permission from one of the two. Doing so without permission is not only immoral but ILLEGAL.
Available formats include: epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb and read online.
Offer redeemable in over 200 countries. To see if this offer is redeemable in your country, click here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/co...
To redeem go here: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Click: The title or front cover of the book you want
Click: Buy
Enter coupon code: As given above or below the Buy Buttons
Click: Apply Coupon
Click: Check Out
-----
And as always, don't forget to review. Grea Alexander reviewers have no reason to fear the Koushma! (bit.ly/1LJYAo9).
Also remember: Stars are nice but stars followed by actual words are even better...especially when you spread your review around like confetti to every book site you can!
Thank you and Enjoy!
Grea Alexander
SeaMonkeyInk.com
P.S. If you've reviewed me and would like a coupon for 50% off on the next ebook in the series you're reading (or an alternate title if there is no next book), drop me a line with a link to your review.
Cheers!
Congratulations to my winner (all the way in Indonesia) & a big, hearty, helpin' of thank you to everyone else who entered.
I must admit that I am lovin' all the love from everyone who entered, added my book(s) and decided to stalk, er, follow me.
Divas need love too....Klymaxx https://youtu.be/B1Azsa8r1jI
And let us not forget the Naughty Girls who, according to both myself AND Samantha Fox, also need love https://youtu.be/pXEN57rFnIM
But wait! There's more!
Because ya'll are so extraordinarily awesome, I've decided to participate in the Smashwords 2016 Read an Ebook Week Promotion.
What the hell is Read an Ebook Week you ask? Well, Read an Ebook Week is an annual, international celebration of ebooks in which thousands of authors, publishers and retailers feature free and discounted ebooks to help promote the joys of e-reading to the world's readers.
What does that mean for you?
Well, I'll tell you, you greedy little grubby fingered fans! It means that THIS WEEK, from March 6-12th, you can get:
Ridiculously Historically Accurate Historical Fiction
Amarna Book I: Book of Ida 50% off with coupon code RAE50 or only $1.50
Amarna Book II: Book of Hawara 25% off with coupon code RAE25 or only $2.24
Amarna Book III: Book of Raia 00% off cause there's no coupon or only $2.99
Snarky, Twisted, Steamy Historical Drama/Romance
Rebellion Book I: Book of Quay 50% off with coupon code RAE50 or only $2.50
Rebellion Book II: Book of Soung 25% off with coupon code RAE25 or only $3.74
Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi 00% off cause there's no coupon or only $4.99
Quirky, Dark Paranormal Horror
Cabello 50% off with coupon code RAE50 or only $1.50'
The Pack: Addison 00% off cause there's no coupon or only $2.99
-----------
Don't feel like writing these codes down/remembering them? No worries! Smashwords has stuck these coupon codes right under the BUY button for each title!
Note: All prices are in U.S. dollars. Coupon codes/discount offer is only valid on Smashwords.com. Any taxes are between you, Smashwords & your government.
All works are copyrighted by Grea Alexander & Seamonkey Ink. You MAY NOT post any of these works online without express written permission from one of the two. Doing so without permission is not only immoral but ILLEGAL.
Available formats include: epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb and read online.
Offer redeemable in over 200 countries. To see if this offer is redeemable in your country, click here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/co...
To redeem go here: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Click: The title or front cover of the book you want
Click: Buy
Enter coupon code: As given above or below the Buy Buttons
Click: Apply Coupon
Click: Check Out
-----
And as always, don't forget to review. Grea Alexander reviewers have no reason to fear the Koushma! (bit.ly/1LJYAo9).
Also remember: Stars are nice but stars followed by actual words are even better...especially when you spread your review around like confetti to every book site you can!
Thank you and Enjoy!
Grea Alexander
SeaMonkeyInk.com
P.S. If you've reviewed me and would like a coupon for 50% off on the next ebook in the series you're reading (or an alternate title if there is no next book), drop me a line with a link to your review.
Cheers!
February 9, 2016
I Know I for One AM a Barbie Girl!
I just read yet ANOTHER article hating on Barbie. What's up with that?
Mattel even just created a new line of shorter, thicker "more realistic" dolls yet STILL people continue to hate on Babs.
Is Mattel doing enough they ask?
What do you mean is Mattel doing enough? It's not like they're withholding the cure for cancer or raising the cost of lifesaving drugs by 700%. It's not like they're poisoning poor people's water with lead. It's not like they're genetically modifying food in a mad quest to take over the global food supply and therefore subjugate the entire planet. (Cough) MonSatan.(Cough)
Mattel manufactures TOYS - CHILDREN'S PLAYTHINGS and in this case a DOLL.
That's right. As much of a shock as it may come to Barbie's detractors BARBIE IS NOT A REAL PERSON.
Find something more constructive to do with your time than hating on a doll. Better yet, channel that extra energy into fighting real evils of the world such as the ones listed above or perhaps even TALKING TO YOUR CHILD about what's real and not real - including airbrushed, bulimic/anorexic, plastic surgeried, attention starved, morally bankrupt ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS that your child might realistically look up to. Just stop blaming girls’ self esteem issues on Babs.
Besides, if your girl child does have self-esteem issues, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say there are probably much deeper, darker, more nefarious factors at work outside of her dolls. If not, you might want to call the Warrens instead of Mattel.
Still, demon doll possession aside, if your child is truly looking to a PLASTIC TOY for a role model, the problems in your household and within that child run WAY deeper than Mattel. If YOU are blaming a doll for your child’s self esteem problems, give me your information so I can get that kid out of there before you go all Andrea Yeats on them.
Think about it. Really think about it. What bad has ever come from Barbie?
Because of her we have that catchy Aqua song and from Paradise Hotel, my favs – the Barbies (along with Super Hot Ken and his dorky cohort).
She has a killer sense of fashion and a limitless wardrobe. She takes fashion risks no matter the consequences.
Sometimes she rocks and other times...Well, other times you just want to place a little paper bag with eye slits over her head.
Does that stop Babs?! Never.
I think that’s a good image for women – wear what you like - to hell with the critics or trends or fashionistas….or people with eyes.
She can spontaneously change her appearance. She can instantly cut or grow her hair with the blink of either a painted on or faux hair eyelash and change her hair color like most women change their undies. And she can do it without not one hair of breakage or split ends.
Don’t like the way you’re looking today? Well change your ENTIRE FACE and without plastic surgery or botox to boot! (At least we have not been able to prove she’s been under the knife. (insert suspicious sidelong glance here))
She has presto chango Scooby Doo face reveal tricks that would make Ethan Hunt sit up and take notice. Not only that, she never ages! (And you said pacts with the devil never work.)
The girl can even change ethnicity for crying out loud! Who else do you know can manage that?! Well, I mean besides Michael Jackson.
At first they tried the whole Christy thing but then they decided not to live a lie anymore. Like Superman's forehead curl when he transitions back into Clark Kent, it had to go. Nowadays Babs simply runs into her proverbial magical phone booth and emerges a black woman or a native woman or whatever race she dares to be without apology or pretension.
Talk about living la vida loca!
Babs does whatever it is she feels like she wants to do when she wants to do it. (Also empowering.)
Want to be an astronaut? Thring! She's an astronaut. Want to be a doctor? Thring! She's a doctor. Want to be a pole dancer? Thring! Babs can't help you with that one.
However, judging from how quickly she changes careers, Barbie must be some kind of secret agent with government provided fake papers or a fembot. (Both glass ceiling busting career alternatives for plastic women by the way.)
Unless….
Nah, she wouldn’t!
You don’t think Barbie would buy illegal degrees from third world countries do you?! (Gasp.)
Still, possible fraud aside, what other woman of the world (especially at the time of her inception) would openly date an effeminate closet homosexual who wears as much gloss, mascara and rouge as she does? I mean, especially after it was revealed that he was a eunuch to boot?!
What a brave girl!
Of course that she seems herself to be cursed with a lack of female genitalia certainly didn’t make that such a life altering sacrifice for Babs (though the rare disease that claimed her buttocks also sealed her womanly treasures for all times).
Still, even her haters have to admit, she’s been terribly brave about it all. While she has cared for others, including her little sister Kelly, she has never once demonstrated any bitterness because of her bareness.
Even while struggling with her fertility issues and despite the deep internal scars caused by Ken’s emotional abusiveness (because of both his impotence and her strange sealed condition), she finally found the courage to leave him. Though critics of Ken believe his verbal abusiveness had turned physical (necessitating all of the face changes), such allegations have never been corroborated or proven.
Lastly, what other woman can balance such colossal tatas as those with such a tiny body and no back pain? Heck, even Chesty Love has to strap those babies down every so often to keep them from becoming knee pads.
Not only that, but what other woman can never eat a thing yet never lose an ounce or become a walking anorexic skeleton? No one.
In conclusion, Barbie has her pants put on one leg at a time just like the rest of us...unless a really impatient kid is doing the dressing. She has her own crosses to bear including that upcoming federal investigation into her questionable resume and the battle to renew her restraining order against Ken.
What Barbie needs most now is your support.
Don't hate on the girl cause her skirt is short. If your body was 90% legs, you'd have trouble finding skirts long enough too.
Mattel even just created a new line of shorter, thicker "more realistic" dolls yet STILL people continue to hate on Babs.
Is Mattel doing enough they ask?
What do you mean is Mattel doing enough? It's not like they're withholding the cure for cancer or raising the cost of lifesaving drugs by 700%. It's not like they're poisoning poor people's water with lead. It's not like they're genetically modifying food in a mad quest to take over the global food supply and therefore subjugate the entire planet. (Cough) MonSatan.(Cough)
Mattel manufactures TOYS - CHILDREN'S PLAYTHINGS and in this case a DOLL.
That's right. As much of a shock as it may come to Barbie's detractors BARBIE IS NOT A REAL PERSON.
Find something more constructive to do with your time than hating on a doll. Better yet, channel that extra energy into fighting real evils of the world such as the ones listed above or perhaps even TALKING TO YOUR CHILD about what's real and not real - including airbrushed, bulimic/anorexic, plastic surgeried, attention starved, morally bankrupt ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS that your child might realistically look up to. Just stop blaming girls’ self esteem issues on Babs.
Besides, if your girl child does have self-esteem issues, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say there are probably much deeper, darker, more nefarious factors at work outside of her dolls. If not, you might want to call the Warrens instead of Mattel.
Still, demon doll possession aside, if your child is truly looking to a PLASTIC TOY for a role model, the problems in your household and within that child run WAY deeper than Mattel. If YOU are blaming a doll for your child’s self esteem problems, give me your information so I can get that kid out of there before you go all Andrea Yeats on them.
Think about it. Really think about it. What bad has ever come from Barbie?
Because of her we have that catchy Aqua song and from Paradise Hotel, my favs – the Barbies (along with Super Hot Ken and his dorky cohort).
She has a killer sense of fashion and a limitless wardrobe. She takes fashion risks no matter the consequences.
Sometimes she rocks and other times...Well, other times you just want to place a little paper bag with eye slits over her head.
Does that stop Babs?! Never.
I think that’s a good image for women – wear what you like - to hell with the critics or trends or fashionistas….or people with eyes.
She can spontaneously change her appearance. She can instantly cut or grow her hair with the blink of either a painted on or faux hair eyelash and change her hair color like most women change their undies. And she can do it without not one hair of breakage or split ends.
Don’t like the way you’re looking today? Well change your ENTIRE FACE and without plastic surgery or botox to boot! (At least we have not been able to prove she’s been under the knife. (insert suspicious sidelong glance here))
She has presto chango Scooby Doo face reveal tricks that would make Ethan Hunt sit up and take notice. Not only that, she never ages! (And you said pacts with the devil never work.)
The girl can even change ethnicity for crying out loud! Who else do you know can manage that?! Well, I mean besides Michael Jackson.
At first they tried the whole Christy thing but then they decided not to live a lie anymore. Like Superman's forehead curl when he transitions back into Clark Kent, it had to go. Nowadays Babs simply runs into her proverbial magical phone booth and emerges a black woman or a native woman or whatever race she dares to be without apology or pretension.
Talk about living la vida loca!
Babs does whatever it is she feels like she wants to do when she wants to do it. (Also empowering.)
Want to be an astronaut? Thring! She's an astronaut. Want to be a doctor? Thring! She's a doctor. Want to be a pole dancer? Thring! Babs can't help you with that one.
However, judging from how quickly she changes careers, Barbie must be some kind of secret agent with government provided fake papers or a fembot. (Both glass ceiling busting career alternatives for plastic women by the way.)
Unless….
Nah, she wouldn’t!
You don’t think Barbie would buy illegal degrees from third world countries do you?! (Gasp.)
Still, possible fraud aside, what other woman of the world (especially at the time of her inception) would openly date an effeminate closet homosexual who wears as much gloss, mascara and rouge as she does? I mean, especially after it was revealed that he was a eunuch to boot?!
What a brave girl!
Of course that she seems herself to be cursed with a lack of female genitalia certainly didn’t make that such a life altering sacrifice for Babs (though the rare disease that claimed her buttocks also sealed her womanly treasures for all times).
Still, even her haters have to admit, she’s been terribly brave about it all. While she has cared for others, including her little sister Kelly, she has never once demonstrated any bitterness because of her bareness.
Even while struggling with her fertility issues and despite the deep internal scars caused by Ken’s emotional abusiveness (because of both his impotence and her strange sealed condition), she finally found the courage to leave him. Though critics of Ken believe his verbal abusiveness had turned physical (necessitating all of the face changes), such allegations have never been corroborated or proven.
Lastly, what other woman can balance such colossal tatas as those with such a tiny body and no back pain? Heck, even Chesty Love has to strap those babies down every so often to keep them from becoming knee pads.
Not only that, but what other woman can never eat a thing yet never lose an ounce or become a walking anorexic skeleton? No one.
In conclusion, Barbie has her pants put on one leg at a time just like the rest of us...unless a really impatient kid is doing the dressing. She has her own crosses to bear including that upcoming federal investigation into her questionable resume and the battle to renew her restraining order against Ken.
What Barbie needs most now is your support.
Don't hate on the girl cause her skirt is short. If your body was 90% legs, you'd have trouble finding skirts long enough too.
December 19, 2015
The Merry Chri-Dwi-Han-Ed-Box-Hog-Nic-Pos-Bod-Kwan-Stice Sale!
They're Heeeerrrree! (The winter holidays not some demonic entity that enjoys playing with television snow, clowns and tequila.)
It’s time to spend too much, eat too much and poison your love for the holidays until they’re gone (after which you’ll miss them). The world is shinier, people are pretending to be nicer, everyone’s greed is showing and all around the world cities and towns are lit up like Christmas trees on speed-infused steroids - emitting enough light pollution to blind our outer-worldly guests as they whiz(z) through space. (Says she who puts no less than 1,000 lights on her 5-6 foot Christmas tree every year. Note: Douglas Firs rule!).
In honor of this most sacred period, I have gifts for all - no reciprocal decade old fruit cake required! (Though you can feel free to send me all of the non-toxic presents you like)!
From RIGHT NOW through 1/1/2016:
Amarna Book I: Book of Ida $0.99 USD Save 66%!
Amarna Book II: Book of Hawara $1.99 USD Save 33%!
Amarna III: Book of Raia $2.99 USD Save 0% but get to find out how it ends
Cabello $0.99 USD Save 66%
Rebellion I: Book of Quay $2.99 USD Save 40%
Rebellion II: Book of Soung $3.99 USD Save 20%
Rebellion III: Book of Choi $4.99 USD Save 0% but find out EVERYTHING
On Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi... NO COUPON REQUIRED.
As Barnes and Noble and pretty much all of my other retailers get their electronic editions through Smashwords, the prices will drop at most of my vendors as well within a few days of this posting.
Unfortunately, Amazon has minimum pricing that they will not drop below UNLESS someone happens to point out that another retailer is carrying the same ebook for a lower price (hint. hint) http://freebies2deals.com/2012/11/how...
And please don't forget to review. Reviews are better than a turkey induced coma and good things happen to Grea Alexander reviewers!
Enjoy!
Grea Alexander
SeaMonkeyInk.com
It’s time to spend too much, eat too much and poison your love for the holidays until they’re gone (after which you’ll miss them). The world is shinier, people are pretending to be nicer, everyone’s greed is showing and all around the world cities and towns are lit up like Christmas trees on speed-infused steroids - emitting enough light pollution to blind our outer-worldly guests as they whiz(z) through space. (Says she who puts no less than 1,000 lights on her 5-6 foot Christmas tree every year. Note: Douglas Firs rule!).
In honor of this most sacred period, I have gifts for all - no reciprocal decade old fruit cake required! (Though you can feel free to send me all of the non-toxic presents you like)!
From RIGHT NOW through 1/1/2016:
Amarna Book I: Book of Ida $0.99 USD Save 66%!
Amarna Book II: Book of Hawara $1.99 USD Save 33%!
Amarna III: Book of Raia $2.99 USD Save 0% but get to find out how it ends
Cabello $0.99 USD Save 66%
Rebellion I: Book of Quay $2.99 USD Save 40%
Rebellion II: Book of Soung $3.99 USD Save 20%
Rebellion III: Book of Choi $4.99 USD Save 0% but find out EVERYTHING
On Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi... NO COUPON REQUIRED.
As Barnes and Noble and pretty much all of my other retailers get their electronic editions through Smashwords, the prices will drop at most of my vendors as well within a few days of this posting.
Unfortunately, Amazon has minimum pricing that they will not drop below UNLESS someone happens to point out that another retailer is carrying the same ebook for a lower price (hint. hint) http://freebies2deals.com/2012/11/how...
And please don't forget to review. Reviews are better than a turkey induced coma and good things happen to Grea Alexander reviewers!
Enjoy!
Grea Alexander
SeaMonkeyInk.com
