Grea Alexander's Blog, page 10
September 5, 2015
Open Seasons
I find myself vaguely disturbed by what I have noticed to be a new trend these last few years – open seasons (AKA retailers moving holidays further and further up the retail calendar and mushing them all together).
For example, in September of last year, I walked into several retailers only to be bombarded with Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all at the same time. Instead of “Aw cool! Now I can find the perfect HallowThanksMas costume/centerpiece/gift item.” I was left thinking “What the f*ck?!” It used to be a treat to wait until the month of the holiday, walk into the store and enjoy each holiday's individual kitsch. Now, it's like walking through a hoarder's garage - creepy, off putting and probably slightly hazardous to one's health.
And it's not just the October/November/December holidays falling victim to this most accursed of fates. In January of this year, I was seeing Valentine’s Day products (which is perfectly reasonable) flocked on the next isle by *Easter* products. Easter? Easter was what in April of this year? Whose dim-witted arse idea was that anyway?
Mid-July, we ended up stopping into a Party City for some reason or other – birthday cards maybe. As I meandered around the store, what should I spy? HALLOWEEN PRODUCTS?! They were hung up on shelves and stacked in boxes being cataloged and unpacked by the eager little high school dropouts that work in the stock department.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a Halloween fanatic. Halloween and Christmas - scary and shiny...kind of like me. That being said, yes, I actually *do* start *planning* my costume in advance – sometimes I even start kicking around ideas as early as right after Halloween the year before as I tend to do custom, real fabric costumes as opposed to cheapie looking store bought poly ones.
Still, I don’t want stores trying to force feed me a holiday *months* before it is reasonable to do so. At least let some of the heat of summer fade a bit before you try to sell me on late fall. I mean I had not even finished properly digesting my Fourth of July barbecue yet and here already, Halloween was being shoved down my throat.
What happened to put out the Halloween stuff until Halloween passes, shift Halloween stuff into Clearance/storage and then put out the Thanksgiving stuff and so on and so forth? I *miss* the days when I didn’t feel bombarded every time I walk into a local mega grocery/tire/lobotomy store with the ghosts of holidays yet to come to pass.
It seems in this society everything is moving faster and faster and faster for no apparent, good reason and this cultural speed fix has bled over into retail sales. Talk about screwing with my internal seasonal clock.
On top of it all, kids often get confused and ask when exactly this holiday or that one is again because their young minds dare to assume that they wouldn’t be putting out stuff 3 months too early.
Is it too much to ask to focus and enjoy one thing at a time before moving onto another? Can I at least *enjoy* one holiday before you start trying to bilk me out of cash for the next one?
For example, in September of last year, I walked into several retailers only to be bombarded with Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all at the same time. Instead of “Aw cool! Now I can find the perfect HallowThanksMas costume/centerpiece/gift item.” I was left thinking “What the f*ck?!” It used to be a treat to wait until the month of the holiday, walk into the store and enjoy each holiday's individual kitsch. Now, it's like walking through a hoarder's garage - creepy, off putting and probably slightly hazardous to one's health.
And it's not just the October/November/December holidays falling victim to this most accursed of fates. In January of this year, I was seeing Valentine’s Day products (which is perfectly reasonable) flocked on the next isle by *Easter* products. Easter? Easter was what in April of this year? Whose dim-witted arse idea was that anyway?
Mid-July, we ended up stopping into a Party City for some reason or other – birthday cards maybe. As I meandered around the store, what should I spy? HALLOWEEN PRODUCTS?! They were hung up on shelves and stacked in boxes being cataloged and unpacked by the eager little high school dropouts that work in the stock department.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a Halloween fanatic. Halloween and Christmas - scary and shiny...kind of like me. That being said, yes, I actually *do* start *planning* my costume in advance – sometimes I even start kicking around ideas as early as right after Halloween the year before as I tend to do custom, real fabric costumes as opposed to cheapie looking store bought poly ones.
Still, I don’t want stores trying to force feed me a holiday *months* before it is reasonable to do so. At least let some of the heat of summer fade a bit before you try to sell me on late fall. I mean I had not even finished properly digesting my Fourth of July barbecue yet and here already, Halloween was being shoved down my throat.
What happened to put out the Halloween stuff until Halloween passes, shift Halloween stuff into Clearance/storage and then put out the Thanksgiving stuff and so on and so forth? I *miss* the days when I didn’t feel bombarded every time I walk into a local mega grocery/tire/lobotomy store with the ghosts of holidays yet to come to pass.
It seems in this society everything is moving faster and faster and faster for no apparent, good reason and this cultural speed fix has bled over into retail sales. Talk about screwing with my internal seasonal clock.
On top of it all, kids often get confused and ask when exactly this holiday or that one is again because their young minds dare to assume that they wouldn’t be putting out stuff 3 months too early.
Is it too much to ask to focus and enjoy one thing at a time before moving onto another? Can I at least *enjoy* one holiday before you start trying to bilk me out of cash for the next one?
June 19, 2015
The First Timer's Guide to Fishing
For some strange reason (insert wide, innocent eyes here) I have been the fodder of anecdotes, gossip and outright tall tales my entire life. I have been compared to everything from a Byronic Hero (by my high school English teacher) to a human cartoon character. No idea why. I just kind of do things, think about things, speak about things and write about things in a way different from most other, normal people. In fact, according to my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator profile only about 2% of people in the world have my particular personality leanings.
That being said, I’ve never been one to let not knowing what I was doing slow me down in any sense whatsoever or to keep me from running headlong into what my son likes to refer to as my “adventures”. I suffer from the “If they can do it, surely with me being me, I can do it too.” disease.
You see, at a frighteningly young age I grasped the concept that so long as you *appear* confident - as if you know exactly what you are talking about and/or doing - and are charismatic, the stars generally align and all will kind of work itself out in the end. Needless to say, I have had some rather interesting and what other people might view as comical life experiences - the kind of experiences that people take for granted will happen to me even if there would be a snowball’s chance in h...the oven that they would happen to anyone else.
Taking my son fishing for the first time was no exception.
Note: Everything I’m about to relay to you is absolutely true and it really happened just as I describe it. Also, my son has a rather unusual name. So, in order to protect his identity I will just refer to him throughout this anecdote as Peanut (which is of course obviously short for Peanut Butter and Jelly Head)
The summer before, while visiting a friend in another city, a male friend of ours decided to take my son fishing. My son had a ball and ever since had been constantly begging and begging and begging me to take him fishing.
I was a little leery at first as I had never actually fished a day in my life. Yes, I’ve kinda sorta been in the vicinity of other people while they fished; however, I was too busy “accidentally” kicking over their worm buckets so that the little suckers could burrow for their lives whenever the fisher people’s backs were turned to actually pay attention to what they were doing (past them cutting the worms up into pieces and skewering them).
I imagined myself having to massacre and torture the poor little creatures myself. I imagined having to unhook this poor, wiggly, slimy and angry creature from a hook while it sent secret, irate fish sonar messages to its little friends to attack. In all of my imaginings, I simply did not imagine that fishing was the thing for me. Leaving the “dirty work” to others had worked well for me in my gastronomic life so far. I saw no reason why it should change then.
Still, there was my little Puffy Cheeks with his big, pleading eyes and confident, charismatic ways (no idea where that came from) begging and begging me to take him fishing just once. On top of that, I was stabbed in the back by fate.
We were wandering through a store when we spotted fishing gear on clearance – rods and everything. My son lit up like a sparkler on the fourth of July. Ever so calmly, I explained to my son that I had no idea how to put that stuff together or what all we would need. My adoring son, however, points out to me that that package over there says it’s a complete ready to use kit. (Darn his school and their accursed phonics!)
Having no real viable reason not to, I give in and I get us each a kit. Of course, in my opinion, they were mostly for decorative purposes.
And they were - for a time. Just owning the shiny, new fishing kits made my son deliriously happy – for a time. However, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months (and the kits begin to grow cobwebs), Peanut finally begins to realize that he was no closer to going fishing with me then than he had been before we had bought the darn things.
Slowly, but surely the begging begins again. Ok, so he nagged the living...snails out of me until I finally decided to give it a go.
My first step was to look up how to fish on the interweb. Second, to seek advice. I asked a male friend of mine and he was full of optimism and tales of how easy fishing was. He was so confident in fact that I decided I did not really need to re-review my handy, dandy packet o’ information I gleaned from the net. I mean it certainly *looks* easy enough on television and there he was telling me that it’s all easy breezy…beautiful, Covergirl.
So, loading up our complete fishing kits in the car, we decided to head to the beach for a combo beach picnic, frolic and pier fishing day.
After hours of frolicking in the surf and having our picnic, I could put it off no longer. We decided to try our hand at fishing. Okay, so my son nagged the living seashells out of me to get me to agree to try our hands at fishing.
Our adventure began with us taking my “complete ready to fish fishing kit” out of the package and Peanut taking out his Simpson’s pole. While it certainly appeared that all I had to do was to stick the smaller pole into the larger pole, when I opened the package, the reely thingamabob fell off! Apparently they were only going for the *illusion* of easy assembly. But no worries, with no instructions that made any sense to me on the package, assembly was a veritable breeze!
After a while of watching me curse under my breath and engage in questionable assembly practices, Peanut asks some guy walking by for help. This guy takes one look at all of my hard work and he starts laughing. As it turns out, while the reely thing was in fact attached with some tenacity, it was attached incorrectly – backwards and upside down were the terms I believed he used.
So, said gentleman kindly proceeds to destroy all of my hard work in the name of assembling the thing “correctly”. Done, he and his sons strung us up right proper like and hooked us and all (with my artificial bait).
At last, off we go on our journey to find a dock off of which to test our hereto obviously hidden fishing prowess.
I learned many things that holiday weekend day. I learned:
1. A “complete ready to fish kit” does *not* come with easy to understand directions, something to cut the line with or assembled and therefore, is neither complete nor ready. Who knew?!
2. Crappy casting does not fish yield. I guess that’s because there were far too many steps! Flip back this silver thing, then stick your finger up something and press this button. (shrug) If I’d just had a gun, it would have worked out *way* better.
3. I am an expert line tangler. I mean I managed tangles in my line of which world class fishermen can only dream. In the end, I had a big tangly ball of line that completely covered my reely thingie. Some might call this a problem. I call it ensuring continued stability of the hold my reely-ma-bob had on the rod
4. Peanut is a Class A seaweed catcher. I mean he caught balls of the stuff almost as impressive as my line ball. We were both very excited as I think we both secretly longed for a hot steaming dinner of Seaweed soup at the end of the day.
5. My rod made a *way* better rapier than a fishing pole. I easily defeated Peanut in our subsequent sword fight. Okay, fights. (Don’t look at me like that. It’s call repurposing. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle my friend.)
6. Peanut’s rod makes a better sand pencil than mine. Mine was just too floppy to make curvy letters and provide any real structural definition
7. My rod however, because of it’s floppiness (which had originally been a flaw in a sand pencil), made a really cool whooshing sound when flopped back and forth quickly and a really trippy mind scrambling device when one’s eyes tried to follow the tip while engaged thus.
8. Peanut’s rod also made a really nifty walking sticky – of perfect size and strength. Mine on the other hand, due to it’s half-accursed and half-blessed floppiness, was a poor support - even in Gandelf-ish usage.
9. While poking with the rod is good, actual slashing can lead to injury.
Yes, number 9 happened to me. After I poked Peanut a few times with my rod, he gets all over excited and decided to pretend to slash my legs with his. Unfortunately, during all of our adventures (which apparently exceeded the proper, intended use for a fishing rod), the little metal part that made up the round line guide had come loose. As he slid it across my calf, it sliced my calf and my finger while I was trying to move it away.
I bled out pretty good though the actual incisions were pretty small. He got down good into the meat after all. My finger I put in my mouth because of well the antiseptic and coagulative properties of saliva but my calf was another matter entirely. I did not think it appropriate for me to sit down in the sand, lift my leg up and suck on my calf in the middle of a crowded beach.
I instead decide to wade into the water and walk in it until I reach the lifeguard shack and its bandages (as the salt water would help to stem the flow of blood). As I’m walking, my son starts getting all paranoid about sharks scenting the blood. But being the good mother and stand up kind of gal that I happen to be, I assured him that while I might be the shark’s initial attraction, there were many, many people a lot farther from shore that the shark would surely get to before me - thus giving me time to run out of the knee deep water to safety. Peanut was satisfied with this reasoning.
After about an hour of driving home the guilt Peanut should be feeling over my life threatening injuries, we concluded our fishing odyssey. I vowed then that next time, I would leave the fishing to more bored and technically proficient persons and stick to my thawed, fully cooked and served fish.
The end.
I know. I know. I’m awesome.
That being said, I’ve never been one to let not knowing what I was doing slow me down in any sense whatsoever or to keep me from running headlong into what my son likes to refer to as my “adventures”. I suffer from the “If they can do it, surely with me being me, I can do it too.” disease.
You see, at a frighteningly young age I grasped the concept that so long as you *appear* confident - as if you know exactly what you are talking about and/or doing - and are charismatic, the stars generally align and all will kind of work itself out in the end. Needless to say, I have had some rather interesting and what other people might view as comical life experiences - the kind of experiences that people take for granted will happen to me even if there would be a snowball’s chance in h...the oven that they would happen to anyone else.
Taking my son fishing for the first time was no exception.
Note: Everything I’m about to relay to you is absolutely true and it really happened just as I describe it. Also, my son has a rather unusual name. So, in order to protect his identity I will just refer to him throughout this anecdote as Peanut (which is of course obviously short for Peanut Butter and Jelly Head)
The summer before, while visiting a friend in another city, a male friend of ours decided to take my son fishing. My son had a ball and ever since had been constantly begging and begging and begging me to take him fishing.
I was a little leery at first as I had never actually fished a day in my life. Yes, I’ve kinda sorta been in the vicinity of other people while they fished; however, I was too busy “accidentally” kicking over their worm buckets so that the little suckers could burrow for their lives whenever the fisher people’s backs were turned to actually pay attention to what they were doing (past them cutting the worms up into pieces and skewering them).
I imagined myself having to massacre and torture the poor little creatures myself. I imagined having to unhook this poor, wiggly, slimy and angry creature from a hook while it sent secret, irate fish sonar messages to its little friends to attack. In all of my imaginings, I simply did not imagine that fishing was the thing for me. Leaving the “dirty work” to others had worked well for me in my gastronomic life so far. I saw no reason why it should change then.
Still, there was my little Puffy Cheeks with his big, pleading eyes and confident, charismatic ways (no idea where that came from) begging and begging me to take him fishing just once. On top of that, I was stabbed in the back by fate.
We were wandering through a store when we spotted fishing gear on clearance – rods and everything. My son lit up like a sparkler on the fourth of July. Ever so calmly, I explained to my son that I had no idea how to put that stuff together or what all we would need. My adoring son, however, points out to me that that package over there says it’s a complete ready to use kit. (Darn his school and their accursed phonics!)
Having no real viable reason not to, I give in and I get us each a kit. Of course, in my opinion, they were mostly for decorative purposes.
And they were - for a time. Just owning the shiny, new fishing kits made my son deliriously happy – for a time. However, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months (and the kits begin to grow cobwebs), Peanut finally begins to realize that he was no closer to going fishing with me then than he had been before we had bought the darn things.
Slowly, but surely the begging begins again. Ok, so he nagged the living...snails out of me until I finally decided to give it a go.
My first step was to look up how to fish on the interweb. Second, to seek advice. I asked a male friend of mine and he was full of optimism and tales of how easy fishing was. He was so confident in fact that I decided I did not really need to re-review my handy, dandy packet o’ information I gleaned from the net. I mean it certainly *looks* easy enough on television and there he was telling me that it’s all easy breezy…beautiful, Covergirl.
So, loading up our complete fishing kits in the car, we decided to head to the beach for a combo beach picnic, frolic and pier fishing day.
After hours of frolicking in the surf and having our picnic, I could put it off no longer. We decided to try our hand at fishing. Okay, so my son nagged the living seashells out of me to get me to agree to try our hands at fishing.
Our adventure began with us taking my “complete ready to fish fishing kit” out of the package and Peanut taking out his Simpson’s pole. While it certainly appeared that all I had to do was to stick the smaller pole into the larger pole, when I opened the package, the reely thingamabob fell off! Apparently they were only going for the *illusion* of easy assembly. But no worries, with no instructions that made any sense to me on the package, assembly was a veritable breeze!
After a while of watching me curse under my breath and engage in questionable assembly practices, Peanut asks some guy walking by for help. This guy takes one look at all of my hard work and he starts laughing. As it turns out, while the reely thing was in fact attached with some tenacity, it was attached incorrectly – backwards and upside down were the terms I believed he used.
So, said gentleman kindly proceeds to destroy all of my hard work in the name of assembling the thing “correctly”. Done, he and his sons strung us up right proper like and hooked us and all (with my artificial bait).
At last, off we go on our journey to find a dock off of which to test our hereto obviously hidden fishing prowess.
I learned many things that holiday weekend day. I learned:
1. A “complete ready to fish kit” does *not* come with easy to understand directions, something to cut the line with or assembled and therefore, is neither complete nor ready. Who knew?!
2. Crappy casting does not fish yield. I guess that’s because there were far too many steps! Flip back this silver thing, then stick your finger up something and press this button. (shrug) If I’d just had a gun, it would have worked out *way* better.
3. I am an expert line tangler. I mean I managed tangles in my line of which world class fishermen can only dream. In the end, I had a big tangly ball of line that completely covered my reely thingie. Some might call this a problem. I call it ensuring continued stability of the hold my reely-ma-bob had on the rod
4. Peanut is a Class A seaweed catcher. I mean he caught balls of the stuff almost as impressive as my line ball. We were both very excited as I think we both secretly longed for a hot steaming dinner of Seaweed soup at the end of the day.
5. My rod made a *way* better rapier than a fishing pole. I easily defeated Peanut in our subsequent sword fight. Okay, fights. (Don’t look at me like that. It’s call repurposing. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle my friend.)
6. Peanut’s rod makes a better sand pencil than mine. Mine was just too floppy to make curvy letters and provide any real structural definition
7. My rod however, because of it’s floppiness (which had originally been a flaw in a sand pencil), made a really cool whooshing sound when flopped back and forth quickly and a really trippy mind scrambling device when one’s eyes tried to follow the tip while engaged thus.
8. Peanut’s rod also made a really nifty walking sticky – of perfect size and strength. Mine on the other hand, due to it’s half-accursed and half-blessed floppiness, was a poor support - even in Gandelf-ish usage.
9. While poking with the rod is good, actual slashing can lead to injury.
Yes, number 9 happened to me. After I poked Peanut a few times with my rod, he gets all over excited and decided to pretend to slash my legs with his. Unfortunately, during all of our adventures (which apparently exceeded the proper, intended use for a fishing rod), the little metal part that made up the round line guide had come loose. As he slid it across my calf, it sliced my calf and my finger while I was trying to move it away.
I bled out pretty good though the actual incisions were pretty small. He got down good into the meat after all. My finger I put in my mouth because of well the antiseptic and coagulative properties of saliva but my calf was another matter entirely. I did not think it appropriate for me to sit down in the sand, lift my leg up and suck on my calf in the middle of a crowded beach.
I instead decide to wade into the water and walk in it until I reach the lifeguard shack and its bandages (as the salt water would help to stem the flow of blood). As I’m walking, my son starts getting all paranoid about sharks scenting the blood. But being the good mother and stand up kind of gal that I happen to be, I assured him that while I might be the shark’s initial attraction, there were many, many people a lot farther from shore that the shark would surely get to before me - thus giving me time to run out of the knee deep water to safety. Peanut was satisfied with this reasoning.
After about an hour of driving home the guilt Peanut should be feeling over my life threatening injuries, we concluded our fishing odyssey. I vowed then that next time, I would leave the fishing to more bored and technically proficient persons and stick to my thawed, fully cooked and served fish.
The end.
I know. I know. I’m awesome.
June 13, 2015
The Oh Father Figure, Fourth Of July, Extra Gigante Blowout Extravaganza!
It’s the Oh Father Figure, Fourth Of July, Extra Gigante Blowout Extravaganza!
What does that mean exactly? Who knows? But starting right now and ending July 5th, all Grea Alexander ebooks will be 50% off at Smashwords with the coupon code listed under each title!
Cabello
$1.50 USD with Coupon Code: LT38Z
Regular Price: $2.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Amarna I: Ida
$1.50 USD with Coupon Code: KA57P
Regular Price: $2.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Amarna II: Hawara
$1.50 USD with Coupon Code: BD94F
Regular Price: $2.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Rebellion I: Quay
$2.50 USD with Coupon Code: CC65C
Regular Price: $4.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Rebellion II: Soung
$2.50 USD with Coupon Code: FG69M
Regular Price: $4.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Rebellion III: Choi
$2.50 USD with Coupon Code: VA45M
Regular Price: $4.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Not So Fine Print
Offer redeemable in over 200 countries. To see if this offer is redeemable in your country, click here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/co...
Available formats include: epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb and read online.
Payments are accepted through either Credit Card (MasterCard, Visa, Discover or American Express) or Paypal.
Wanna gift the book to someone else? You can do that too. Just select "Give as a gift", redeem code as usual and enter that person's email address.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Redemption Instructions :
To redeem go here: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Scroll down to Books & click on the title you want (or click the title’s direct link above)
Click: Buy
Enter the coupon code: Listed above for that title in the box next to the words Coupon Code:
Click: Apply Coupon
Click: Check Out
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Making all of your Oh Father Figure, Fourth Of July, Extra Gigante Blowout Extravaganza dreams come true...
Grea.
P.S. Good things happen to Seamonkey Ink reviewers. Feel free to review and spread that review around like a bad macaroni necktie.
What does that mean exactly? Who knows? But starting right now and ending July 5th, all Grea Alexander ebooks will be 50% off at Smashwords with the coupon code listed under each title!
Cabello
$1.50 USD with Coupon Code: LT38Z
Regular Price: $2.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Amarna I: Ida
$1.50 USD with Coupon Code: KA57P
Regular Price: $2.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Amarna II: Hawara
$1.50 USD with Coupon Code: BD94F
Regular Price: $2.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Rebellion I: Quay
$2.50 USD with Coupon Code: CC65C
Regular Price: $4.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Rebellion II: Soung
$2.50 USD with Coupon Code: FG69M
Regular Price: $4.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Rebellion III: Choi
$2.50 USD with Coupon Code: VA45M
Regular Price: $4.99
Direct Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Not So Fine Print
Offer redeemable in over 200 countries. To see if this offer is redeemable in your country, click here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/co...
Available formats include: epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb and read online.
Payments are accepted through either Credit Card (MasterCard, Visa, Discover or American Express) or Paypal.
Wanna gift the book to someone else? You can do that too. Just select "Give as a gift", redeem code as usual and enter that person's email address.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Redemption Instructions :
To redeem go here: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Scroll down to Books & click on the title you want (or click the title’s direct link above)
Click: Buy
Enter the coupon code: Listed above for that title in the box next to the words Coupon Code:
Click: Apply Coupon
Click: Check Out
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Making all of your Oh Father Figure, Fourth Of July, Extra Gigante Blowout Extravaganza dreams come true...
Grea.
P.S. Good things happen to Seamonkey Ink reviewers. Feel free to review and spread that review around like a bad macaroni necktie.
Current & Upcoming SMI Giveaways
Enter to win a paperback copy of the novel de jour and whatever else I decide to pick up off the floor and toss in the box. (Disclaimer: Anything found alive in the box is the sole responsibility of the prize claimant and may not be returned to sender.)
Best of all, all SMI Giveaways are open Worldwide!
Rebellion Book II: Book of Soung
03/19/15 thru 6/16/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Amarna Book II: Book of Hawara
06/18/15 thru 09/12/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi
07/18/15 thru 10/12/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Amarna Book III: Book of Raia
08/19/15 thru 11/10/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
The Pack: Addison
09/15/15 thru 12/02/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Enter today...or tomorrow!
And remember: Quitters never win...except at Russian Roulette.
----
Keep up to date on all Seamonkey Ink & Grea Alexander special promotions: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
Best of all, all SMI Giveaways are open Worldwide!
Rebellion Book II: Book of Soung
03/19/15 thru 6/16/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Amarna Book II: Book of Hawara
06/18/15 thru 09/12/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi
07/18/15 thru 10/12/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Amarna Book III: Book of Raia
08/19/15 thru 11/10/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
The Pack: Addison
09/15/15 thru 12/02/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Enter today...or tomorrow!
And remember: Quitters never win...except at Russian Roulette.
----
Keep up to date on all Seamonkey Ink & Grea Alexander special promotions: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
April 13, 2015
Amarna Book II: Book of Hawara Ebook - 50% off with Coupon Code
Another giveaway has come to a close. Congratulations to my winner.
In appreciation, I would like to offer everyone a coupon for 50% off on an ebook version of Amarna II: Book of Hawara!! Share this coupon with whomever you like.
Promotional Price: $1.50
To redeem go here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Click: Buy
Enter coupon code: ZB87Z
Click: Apply Coupon
Click: Check Out
Coupon expires 04/30/2015
Available formats include: epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb and read online.
Offer redeemable in over 200 countries. To see if this offer is redeemable in your country, click here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/co...
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Synopsis:
How far are you willing to go? How much are you willing to sacrifice?
These are the questions King Mursili II has had to ask himself every day since his 13th year – the year the gift of prophecy had awakened within him, the year Queen Ankhesenamun’s slave Ida had come to his father’s court begging for one of Mursili’s brothers to marry the queen and save the throne of Egypt.
Despite the unfortunate turn of events – his brother’s murder and the fall of Queen Ankhesenamun, the gods had been quite clear. The fate of the Hittite Kingdom was linked to that of Egypt. His fate was linked to that of Ida. If one fell, so would the other. His only hope to restore his own Hittite Kingdom to greatness was to restore the Amarna line to power in Egypt, to atone for the sins of his father.
Yet, with those closest to him being sacrificed in the process and the tide continuing to rise against them, how far is King Mursili prepared to go to see the prophecy fulfilled?
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Thank you and Enjoy!
Grea Alexander
SeaMonkeyInk.com
In appreciation, I would like to offer everyone a coupon for 50% off on an ebook version of Amarna II: Book of Hawara!! Share this coupon with whomever you like.
Promotional Price: $1.50
To redeem go here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Click: Buy
Enter coupon code: ZB87Z
Click: Apply Coupon
Click: Check Out
Coupon expires 04/30/2015
Available formats include: epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb and read online.
Offer redeemable in over 200 countries. To see if this offer is redeemable in your country, click here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/co...
-------
Synopsis:
How far are you willing to go? How much are you willing to sacrifice?
These are the questions King Mursili II has had to ask himself every day since his 13th year – the year the gift of prophecy had awakened within him, the year Queen Ankhesenamun’s slave Ida had come to his father’s court begging for one of Mursili’s brothers to marry the queen and save the throne of Egypt.
Despite the unfortunate turn of events – his brother’s murder and the fall of Queen Ankhesenamun, the gods had been quite clear. The fate of the Hittite Kingdom was linked to that of Egypt. His fate was linked to that of Ida. If one fell, so would the other. His only hope to restore his own Hittite Kingdom to greatness was to restore the Amarna line to power in Egypt, to atone for the sins of his father.
Yet, with those closest to him being sacrificed in the process and the tide continuing to rise against them, how far is King Mursili prepared to go to see the prophecy fulfilled?
------
Thank you and Enjoy!
Grea Alexander
SeaMonkeyInk.com
March 18, 2015
Current Seamonkey Ink Giveaways
UPDATED 4/13/2015
Enter to win SMI Prize Pack!
Each prize pack includes:
- 1 paperback copy of the novel de jour
- 1 Seamonkey Ink Tshirt
- 1 additional mystery item
Best of all, all SMI Giveaways are open Worldwide!
Rebellion Book II: Book of Soung
STANDARD PRINT EDITION
03/19/15 thru 6/16/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi
STANDARD PRINT EDITION
03/20/15 thru 05/31/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Enter today...or tomorrow!
----
Keep up to date on all Seamonkey Ink & Grea Alexander special promotions: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
Enter to win SMI Prize Pack!
Each prize pack includes:
- 1 paperback copy of the novel de jour
- 1 Seamonkey Ink Tshirt
- 1 additional mystery item
Best of all, all SMI Giveaways are open Worldwide!
Rebellion Book II: Book of Soung
STANDARD PRINT EDITION
03/19/15 thru 6/16/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi
STANDARD PRINT EDITION
03/20/15 thru 05/31/15!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Enter today...or tomorrow!
----
Keep up to date on all Seamonkey Ink & Grea Alexander special promotions: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
March 16, 2015
3 CHAPTER BOOK PREVIEW ADDED: Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi
The 3 chapter preview for Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi has been added.
Click: Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi
Click the green button under the cover pic that reads: Read Book
Enjoy!
Click: Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi
Click the green button under the cover pic that reads: Read Book
Enjoy!
March 15, 2015
COMING OUT THIS WEEK!!! Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi
Though woefully behind schedule, Rebellion Book III: Book of Choi will be released later this week. Yea!
In celebration, I will be setting up a giveaway for this title (also starting later this week) and a regular print edition of Rebellion Book II: Book of Soung!
Until then, here's a peek at the back cover text:
What if everything you thought you knew about yourself and everyone around you was a lie?
For the past two decades, Ni Soung has been living a lie – a lie of her own creation. A lie perpetuated by everyone around her, even her own husband and father. A lie her enemies have used to twist and destroy everything she once believed.
Now, held captive and separated from her husband and children, her only hope to save them all is the truth.
As Ni Soung’s memory returns, will she uncover the truth in time to change the future or will she be destroyed by it instead?
In celebration, I will be setting up a giveaway for this title (also starting later this week) and a regular print edition of Rebellion Book II: Book of Soung!
Until then, here's a peek at the back cover text:
What if everything you thought you knew about yourself and everyone around you was a lie?
For the past two decades, Ni Soung has been living a lie – a lie of her own creation. A lie perpetuated by everyone around her, even her own husband and father. A lie her enemies have used to twist and destroy everything she once believed.
Now, held captive and separated from her husband and children, her only hope to save them all is the truth.
As Ni Soung’s memory returns, will she uncover the truth in time to change the future or will she be destroyed by it instead?
December 19, 2014
THE WHAT THE HELL SALE
SALES ARE AWESOME!
I heart sales so I hold them often. Right now thru...as long as I feel like but at least through 1/31/15, I am going to offer all of my ebooks on sale on Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/vie... (scroll on down for all of my titles)
Amarna I: Ida $0.99 USD Regular Price $2.99
Amarna II: Hawara $1.99 USD Regular Price $2.99
Rebellion I: Quay $0.99 USD Regular Price $4.99
Rebellion II: Soung $1.99 USD Regular Price $4.99
Cabello $0.99 USD Regular Price $2.99
As Smashwords feeds into most of my retailers, their prices will probably drop to the same rate....eventually. Some of my retailers also price match so you can show them this pricing to get it elsewhere. Still, you can get the above titles for these prices RIGHT NOW on Smashwords – no fuss, no muss.
If you prefer, here is a list of some of my other retailers: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
All of these series will have new chapters coming out within the next year so hurry and catch up before the next chapters hit or before I change my mind and restore my normal retail prices.
Enjoy!
Grea.
P.S. Good things happen to Seamonkey Ink reviewers. Feel free to review and spread that review around like decade old fruit cake.
I heart sales so I hold them often. Right now thru...as long as I feel like but at least through 1/31/15, I am going to offer all of my ebooks on sale on Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/vie... (scroll on down for all of my titles)
Amarna I: Ida $0.99 USD Regular Price $2.99
Amarna II: Hawara $1.99 USD Regular Price $2.99
Rebellion I: Quay $0.99 USD Regular Price $4.99
Rebellion II: Soung $1.99 USD Regular Price $4.99
Cabello $0.99 USD Regular Price $2.99
As Smashwords feeds into most of my retailers, their prices will probably drop to the same rate....eventually. Some of my retailers also price match so you can show them this pricing to get it elsewhere. Still, you can get the above titles for these prices RIGHT NOW on Smashwords – no fuss, no muss.
If you prefer, here is a list of some of my other retailers: http://seamonkeyink.com/smi_indexes_2...
All of these series will have new chapters coming out within the next year so hurry and catch up before the next chapters hit or before I change my mind and restore my normal retail prices.
Enjoy!
Grea.
P.S. Good things happen to Seamonkey Ink reviewers. Feel free to review and spread that review around like decade old fruit cake.
December 4, 2014
Pitch Madness
Today I'll be participating in Pitch Madness on Twitter from now thru 7pm CT.
Show your support by retweeting my #Pitmad tweets. The person who retweets my pitches the most will receive a special Seamonkey Ink surprise.
My twitter handle is @SeamonkeyInk located here: https://twitter.com/SeaMonkeyInk . I will be pitching on the hour and half hour for:
More about Pitch Madness: http://www.brenda-drake.com/pitmad/
You're awesome!
Show your support by retweeting my #Pitmad tweets. The person who retweets my pitches the most will receive a special Seamonkey Ink surprise.
My twitter handle is @SeamonkeyInk located here: https://twitter.com/SeaMonkeyInk . I will be pitching on the hour and half hour for:
More about Pitch Madness: http://www.brenda-drake.com/pitmad/
You're awesome!
