Chris Maley's Blog, page 9

Hear me out: while a marionette show featuring catatonic anti-vaxxers as life-sized marionettes sounds barbaric, it could look really cool.

Fox News told them that contracting Covid-19 is a great way to own the libs. Why not put the soon-to-be-dead MAGAts to good use and stage a production of the 1972 musical, Cabaret? Look at those willfully-ignorant Donald Trump supporters, just laying there, hogging up hospital beds and respirators. Vaccinated rich people told them to […]

Operation Week Off.

A cubicle slave’s approach to job hunting while still employed. Reposting from my Medium page. Before I begin: I need to show respect towards our men and women in uniform and acknowledge the pseudo-military nature of the headline. When this idea was conceived in 2003, I was nuts. Too many overprivileged dudes in America pretend […]

A hypothetical experiment. Two white guys who overuse the word “successful” are its test subjects.

Let’s do a hypothetical science experiment.  First things first: gotta don the spiffy-white lab coat. This is science, people. Jesse Pinkman said it: “Science!” Now that you’re dressed for the part, go out and find two sheltered white guys who are adept at inserting the word “successful” into every conversation. Like…every conversation. You know the […]

NYC vacay. May, 2003.

Alt. headline: “JESUS CHRIST! USE EVERY DAY OF YOUR PTO THAT IS WHY IT IS THERE WHAT THE FUCK DON’T BE STUPID JESUS CHRIST!!!”  I’m not a compulsive selfie-taker, but an occasional pics post is cool, right? A show about NYC gave me the urge to dig up some old NYC vacation photos. In a […]

The New Einsatzgruppen wants to talk fatherhood and masculinity. Oh, boy!

Men like Josh Hawley and JD Vance really, really want to show off their manliness. Like…really. Riffing off of:• Their Undeserving Little Smiles Are Called Einsatzgruppens • Don’t Get Mad at JD Vance, He’s Just Being White. What got smirky Right-wingers all fired up? Why are they dispensing so much unsolicited advice about caucasian dadliness […]

Dubya would have worn a mask.

As the USA nears 800,000 Covid-19 deaths, it’s okay to blame Donald Trump. The 20th anniversary of 9/11 has been on my mind lately. I turned thirty a month before that awful day and this year was my 50th, so my mood has been reflective for a while. Call it an entering-a-new-decade kind of thing. […]

November 15th, 2021. A bad day for racist ammosexuals.

Not going to be a long post. Just noting that Alex Jones and Steve Bannon both got their fascist asses handed to them today. Here’s a shiny-happy story about Steve Bannon’s Monday. And here’s an uplifting article detailing how Alex Jones’ Monday went. Are these two fucked? Who knows? The Right brags about its purchase […]

Osama bin Laden. Rich kid.

Privilege, not religion, helped al-Qaeda’s leader understand our weaknesses. As the 20th anniversary of September 11th, 2001 neared, I couldn’t help looking back and remembering the world’s outpouring of sympathy in the months following the attack. This led me to write Romeo Whiskey Tango. Now, it’s late October 2021. Two decades ago, citizens from pretty much […]

When chickenhawks cry out for civil war, remember the words of John Lennon.

Non-violence and humor, everyone. (Or, as the English say, “humour.”) Non-violence and humor. Funny motherfuckers and motherfuckerettes: your country needs you. Actually, your planet needs you. Racist, billionaire-worshipping crap-beings want to burn the Earth just out of spite. Riffing off of earlier posts:• If we go to war, Steve Bannon’s call sign absolutely needs to be […]

My Facebook experiment, “Romeo Whiskey Tango.”

Another 30-day ban for me. But this time, it happened in the interests of science. “Science!”– Jesse Pinkman A year ago, Facebook immediately slapped me with a 30-day ban after I posted, I hope that coronavirus helps America redefine the term “white trash.” Tl;dr: we need to quit using the phrase “white trash” as a […]