Angelica Quantinet Grayer-Stevenson's Blog
September 12, 2018
Life's Interstate
Yesterday while traveling back to our house on the interstate after dropping Allen off at work. My daughter Alaina observed that we were going slower than the other cars around us. She asked, "Mom why are we going slow? The other cars are going fast?"
Good observation on her part right.
So me I'm looking ahead to see if I could see what's going while responding, "Because the cars ahead of us are going slow. If I go fast I could hit them."
And it reminded me of when we're on a path, our journeys. That there are people to the right and left of us that could be progressing more quickly or moving faster than us, while we are stuck in a slow lane, even behind other slow people at times.
So we think...
The truth is. We are all responsible for our moments and process in our life's journey. And sometimes we are meant to go slow, stay still, or move quickly to learn, grow, evolve, or receive something. Each moment, situation is different. So we need to evaluate it by where we are in life mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and sometimes financially.
Not where other people are or where we think they are.
Later. I chose to get in the left lane and take the longer way home.
What would you have done?
Copyright © 2018 By Angelica Stevenson
All Rights Reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.
Good observation on her part right.
So me I'm looking ahead to see if I could see what's going while responding, "Because the cars ahead of us are going slow. If I go fast I could hit them."
And it reminded me of when we're on a path, our journeys. That there are people to the right and left of us that could be progressing more quickly or moving faster than us, while we are stuck in a slow lane, even behind other slow people at times.
So we think...
The truth is. We are all responsible for our moments and process in our life's journey. And sometimes we are meant to go slow, stay still, or move quickly to learn, grow, evolve, or receive something. Each moment, situation is different. So we need to evaluate it by where we are in life mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and sometimes financially.
Not where other people are or where we think they are.
Later. I chose to get in the left lane and take the longer way home.
What would you have done?
Copyright © 2018 By Angelica Stevenson
All Rights Reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.
September 10, 2018
Lost and Found
Looking at my Goodreads account I see that it's been 5+ years since I've logged in and been active. And that saddens me, brings tears to my cause because I've been lost. Lost and out of touch with my artist self.
I remember when I first opened this account. I was so excited to grow, expand, connect, and it had only been a year since I self published my first book.
I've had five more pregnancies and only four more children. Almost seven years in my marriage, on the 27th it would be our 7 year anniversary. And man have we been going through some things.
Full time stay at home, homeschooling, unschooling, advancing in self knowledge, and trying to figure out ways to earn an extra income to help my husband take care of our family.
As I had more children, I performed less and less. I still supported and cheered my husband on when he performed. With pride, sadness, envy, and jealousy in my heart.
It's been a rollercoaster ride, and instead of losing my lunch I lost...myself.
I lost my passion for writing and when that happened, I lost a part of me. Writing to just help people just wasn't enough for me anymore. It wasn't sustaining or fulfilling. And boy did I go through a time of guilt and hating myself because I felt that.
The truth is though. I couldn't be a whole woman, the wife, the mom that I needed to be and wanted to be if I wasn't right myself.
So I had to embark on my painful and selfish journey of loving my craft again, which meant loving myself. Every part of myself, inside and out, the good and the bad. And that meant having self time, me time away from my children. And whew that was the hardest thing ever. I used to come back like after 20 minutes because I felt bad for being away. No bueno huh? And that worry that my husband wouldn't watch them right and do things my way.
However once I started to think, speak, journal, and take consistent action on this change and path of finding myself. Doors started to open. I joined a writers group on Facebook and now a co-author of a collaborative erotica anthology book and I love it!!!
I finally joined Toastmasters to help myself be more confident and organized when I speak. I am even writing poems to go along with my speeches.
I also joined a local Women's Writing Group that has helped me out tremendously. When I was going through the phase of not knowing what to write. The assignments we were given helped me to write not only what was required but also other creative writing as well.
I've started to keep a journal and learning that it's okay to babble and not write about anything of importance, creativity, story worthy etc..Just the fact that I am is writing is what's important. For that I'm grateful to have been introduced to morning pages from the book “The Writer's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity By Julia Cameron”.
These life choices and actions were needed and important. I needed to do them for me. And in doing so I learned:
1. I don't have to rush my mental journey of gaining new wisdom and knowledge to keep up with others.
2. As a mom, especially with five children, it is imperative that I take time for myself. Not only so I can be at my best, I need me time, as well because my children need to learn that it's okay to say time out life I need a break.
3. Putting my dreams and goals to the side of being a published and successful (with what it means to me), writer is not the right thing as I'm teaching them to have their own goals and dreams, make them, and follow them. I need to be that example. I need, I must do it for myself too.
4. To love myself inside and out. The good, the bad, and all the ways it will come out in my writings.
5. It is definitely acceptable to want to write for myself because that's what I love to do. I don't always have to focus on helping people. However since that is my second natural gift, it still comes out in my writings too. Lessons. Bits and pieces of my life that help others.
And after all that learning, though I know I'm not done. I am back to writing because I love it, and it makes me happy. And that's okay!! I'm writing stories that aren't just spiritual, Christian, fiction, fantasy either. I've added erotica and murder mystery underneath my belt and I'm pretty darn good at it, (I've been told that as well).
I'm excited, each new day that I wake up because it's filled with new ideas and my imagination to go wild. I have a new love and a new appreciation for my gift. And having more children is actually helping me to be more organized and structured since my time has become “less”, or better yet more valuable. Isn't that ironic.
So yea I'm excited to be back on my writing journey. Well when I think about it, I never left it. These past 6 years have been part of my journey. And I'm looking forward to more growth, connections, feedback, and opportunities to expand. I hope you feel and think if and as you read the new content that I share.
Love and Imagination,
Angelica AQ
I remember when I first opened this account. I was so excited to grow, expand, connect, and it had only been a year since I self published my first book.
I've had five more pregnancies and only four more children. Almost seven years in my marriage, on the 27th it would be our 7 year anniversary. And man have we been going through some things.
Full time stay at home, homeschooling, unschooling, advancing in self knowledge, and trying to figure out ways to earn an extra income to help my husband take care of our family.
As I had more children, I performed less and less. I still supported and cheered my husband on when he performed. With pride, sadness, envy, and jealousy in my heart.
It's been a rollercoaster ride, and instead of losing my lunch I lost...myself.
I lost my passion for writing and when that happened, I lost a part of me. Writing to just help people just wasn't enough for me anymore. It wasn't sustaining or fulfilling. And boy did I go through a time of guilt and hating myself because I felt that.
The truth is though. I couldn't be a whole woman, the wife, the mom that I needed to be and wanted to be if I wasn't right myself.
So I had to embark on my painful and selfish journey of loving my craft again, which meant loving myself. Every part of myself, inside and out, the good and the bad. And that meant having self time, me time away from my children. And whew that was the hardest thing ever. I used to come back like after 20 minutes because I felt bad for being away. No bueno huh? And that worry that my husband wouldn't watch them right and do things my way.
However once I started to think, speak, journal, and take consistent action on this change and path of finding myself. Doors started to open. I joined a writers group on Facebook and now a co-author of a collaborative erotica anthology book and I love it!!!
I finally joined Toastmasters to help myself be more confident and organized when I speak. I am even writing poems to go along with my speeches.
I also joined a local Women's Writing Group that has helped me out tremendously. When I was going through the phase of not knowing what to write. The assignments we were given helped me to write not only what was required but also other creative writing as well.
I've started to keep a journal and learning that it's okay to babble and not write about anything of importance, creativity, story worthy etc..Just the fact that I am is writing is what's important. For that I'm grateful to have been introduced to morning pages from the book “The Writer's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity By Julia Cameron”.
These life choices and actions were needed and important. I needed to do them for me. And in doing so I learned:
1. I don't have to rush my mental journey of gaining new wisdom and knowledge to keep up with others.
2. As a mom, especially with five children, it is imperative that I take time for myself. Not only so I can be at my best, I need me time, as well because my children need to learn that it's okay to say time out life I need a break.
3. Putting my dreams and goals to the side of being a published and successful (with what it means to me), writer is not the right thing as I'm teaching them to have their own goals and dreams, make them, and follow them. I need to be that example. I need, I must do it for myself too.
4. To love myself inside and out. The good, the bad, and all the ways it will come out in my writings.
5. It is definitely acceptable to want to write for myself because that's what I love to do. I don't always have to focus on helping people. However since that is my second natural gift, it still comes out in my writings too. Lessons. Bits and pieces of my life that help others.
And after all that learning, though I know I'm not done. I am back to writing because I love it, and it makes me happy. And that's okay!! I'm writing stories that aren't just spiritual, Christian, fiction, fantasy either. I've added erotica and murder mystery underneath my belt and I'm pretty darn good at it, (I've been told that as well).
I'm excited, each new day that I wake up because it's filled with new ideas and my imagination to go wild. I have a new love and a new appreciation for my gift. And having more children is actually helping me to be more organized and structured since my time has become “less”, or better yet more valuable. Isn't that ironic.
So yea I'm excited to be back on my writing journey. Well when I think about it, I never left it. These past 6 years have been part of my journey. And I'm looking forward to more growth, connections, feedback, and opportunities to expand. I hope you feel and think if and as you read the new content that I share.
Love and Imagination,
Angelica AQ
February 17, 2013
CONNECTION MADE
Man I am so excited. So my mother-in-law told me that when she started reading my book she was confused and had to go back and read it it all over again from the beginning because it was confusing. Which was so not my intention however it works out great because I wanted to write a series to follow JUDGEMENT DAY and Praise Abba-Father he gave me the connection. Now I am so excited to continue.
Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you and have a blessed day.
Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you and have a blessed day.
February 3, 2013
Websites That Have JUDGEMENT DAY
E- Sentral: http://www.e-sentral.com/search/q/978...
http://www.e-sentral.com/search/byid/...
Copia: http://www.thecopia.com/catalog/searc...
http://www.thecopia.com/catalog/detai...
Sony: http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/ange...
iBookstore/iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/judge...
Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Judgment-Day-eb...
Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/judgm...
Indigo: http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/i...
Kobo: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Judgme...
Also available on/through Gardner's and Baker & Taylor website
http://www.e-sentral.com/search/byid/...
Copia: http://www.thecopia.com/catalog/searc...
http://www.thecopia.com/catalog/detai...
Sony: http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/ange...
iBookstore/iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/judge...
Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Judgment-Day-eb...
Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/judgm...
Indigo: http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/i...
Kobo: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Judgme...
Also available on/through Gardner's and Baker & Taylor website
January 22, 2013
Preview of JUDGEMENT DAY ISBN:9781624885488
If you haven't read JUDGEMENT DAY yet you're in for a big treat. It's that good vs evil with a spiritual and fantasy twist. And I wanted to share you with the first few pages of the book. Don't worry it's not giving away the book, it's just the tip of the iceberg. So please enjoy.
"We all messed up
We all took a dive
We all got a ticket
For front seat of hell’s ride
We didn’t pass God’s test
We didn’t follow His commandments
And now He’s punishing us
And showing us no mercy
The human race has lost
We messed up our second chance
Now the human race
Is about to end
We’re all about to die
But not a quick or swift death
He’s going to make us suffer
Like we made Him suffer
Causing pain, tears, and heartache
Day turns to night
Blood stains the moon and sky
People run to their homes
To watch death go by
But they can’t hide
God knows every spot and place
To find the human race
He’s going to teach us a lesson
But harder than the first
And have a longer end
Are you ready for hell’s victory ride?
God starts out first
His wrath is fragile
And will hurt less
But still hurts all the same
He still loves His children
But has to teach once again
First He sends His angels
To smite out all evil
Then He sends down
Rain and plagues
To wipe out the second evil
And as He sends down the next wave
He stops it in a beat
He looks down at His work
That’s all too familiar with thee
Tears start to come from His eyes
As He viewed the rest of our kind
He starts to rethink
And might have a new strategy
He looked down at hell
And held His head high
“You can take your ride”
The devil looked up
With a cheesy grin on his face
“Well it’s about time”
God started to walk away
As the devil gave out a cry
And He didn’t stop to watch
As swords, spears, and knives
Fall from the sky
The devil hopped on his chariot
And rode up to earth
To his new home
And new playground
Ready to have, the time of his life
But up above
The moon, stars, and sky
God redoes His next test
He thought it through this time
It won’t be up to the human kind
To decide the fate
For all mankind
He made a new rule
Printed a new law
And He made sure
The news bounced off the walls
Now all He had to do
Was tell the little guy downstairs
He brought a handful of angels
To stand by his side
As they flew down to earth
To stop hell’s victory ride
The ground started to shake
As demons flew back
The devil looked around
And growled with anger
“What is going on here?”
The angels held off the rest
While God stood in front of the devil
“Your time is being shortened”
The devil laughed
“Ha, you had your time
Now it’s my time”
God didn’t smile
And didn’t budge an inch
“With this new way
You can have all the time in the world”
“What new way?”
God stood in the middle of the earth
“From now on,
Humans shall decide their fate
Good and evil will just guide them”
“You expect me to go along with this?”
God looked him in the eyes
“You have no choice”
“No!”
And the devil attacked God
They fought on the ground
And in the air
They rearranged the whole planet
God punched him
Then they stood face to face
“This is the new law
And it shall be followed”
The demons flew towards God
As the angels flew after them
“Let it be,” He said
Darkness washed over
Lightning came down
And rain flooded the earth
God made Himself and the devil one
As they flew up in the sky
Where they spanned and spanned
While in the air
Earth was being remade
Fire and light were separated
Good and evil were two different clouds
The beings flew up in the sky
Joining their rightful place
The cloud of fire
Went back to the depths below
As the cloud of light
Went up above
Earth was remade
Almost the best
Good and evil took their place
And guided their people
It was about that time again
To fight the good fight
But earth had to wait
Till three children were born
For thousands of years
They have waited
For their king and queen
But it just couldn’t be anybody
These beings were special
And had to pass and go through
Many tests
And overcome many trials
As suffering started
And war began
As hearts were broken
And tears were flowing
As people were fighting
And bodies were dying
Good and evil waited
The time is here
And the time is now
Are you ready to watch?
Are you ready to hear?
And are you ready to listen?
This is a story
You’ll never forget
So grab a chair
And let us begin"-JUDGEMENT DAY © 2012
Available on Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Copia, Sony, iBookstore, Kobo, Indigo
"We all messed up
We all took a dive
We all got a ticket
For front seat of hell’s ride
We didn’t pass God’s test
We didn’t follow His commandments
And now He’s punishing us
And showing us no mercy
The human race has lost
We messed up our second chance
Now the human race
Is about to end
We’re all about to die
But not a quick or swift death
He’s going to make us suffer
Like we made Him suffer
Causing pain, tears, and heartache
Day turns to night
Blood stains the moon and sky
People run to their homes
To watch death go by
But they can’t hide
God knows every spot and place
To find the human race
He’s going to teach us a lesson
But harder than the first
And have a longer end
Are you ready for hell’s victory ride?
God starts out first
His wrath is fragile
And will hurt less
But still hurts all the same
He still loves His children
But has to teach once again
First He sends His angels
To smite out all evil
Then He sends down
Rain and plagues
To wipe out the second evil
And as He sends down the next wave
He stops it in a beat
He looks down at His work
That’s all too familiar with thee
Tears start to come from His eyes
As He viewed the rest of our kind
He starts to rethink
And might have a new strategy
He looked down at hell
And held His head high
“You can take your ride”
The devil looked up
With a cheesy grin on his face
“Well it’s about time”
God started to walk away
As the devil gave out a cry
And He didn’t stop to watch
As swords, spears, and knives
Fall from the sky
The devil hopped on his chariot
And rode up to earth
To his new home
And new playground
Ready to have, the time of his life
But up above
The moon, stars, and sky
God redoes His next test
He thought it through this time
It won’t be up to the human kind
To decide the fate
For all mankind
He made a new rule
Printed a new law
And He made sure
The news bounced off the walls
Now all He had to do
Was tell the little guy downstairs
He brought a handful of angels
To stand by his side
As they flew down to earth
To stop hell’s victory ride
The ground started to shake
As demons flew back
The devil looked around
And growled with anger
“What is going on here?”
The angels held off the rest
While God stood in front of the devil
“Your time is being shortened”
The devil laughed
“Ha, you had your time
Now it’s my time”
God didn’t smile
And didn’t budge an inch
“With this new way
You can have all the time in the world”
“What new way?”
God stood in the middle of the earth
“From now on,
Humans shall decide their fate
Good and evil will just guide them”
“You expect me to go along with this?”
God looked him in the eyes
“You have no choice”
“No!”
And the devil attacked God
They fought on the ground
And in the air
They rearranged the whole planet
God punched him
Then they stood face to face
“This is the new law
And it shall be followed”
The demons flew towards God
As the angels flew after them
“Let it be,” He said
Darkness washed over
Lightning came down
And rain flooded the earth
God made Himself and the devil one
As they flew up in the sky
Where they spanned and spanned
While in the air
Earth was being remade
Fire and light were separated
Good and evil were two different clouds
The beings flew up in the sky
Joining their rightful place
The cloud of fire
Went back to the depths below
As the cloud of light
Went up above
Earth was remade
Almost the best
Good and evil took their place
And guided their people
It was about that time again
To fight the good fight
But earth had to wait
Till three children were born
For thousands of years
They have waited
For their king and queen
But it just couldn’t be anybody
These beings were special
And had to pass and go through
Many tests
And overcome many trials
As suffering started
And war began
As hearts were broken
And tears were flowing
As people were fighting
And bodies were dying
Good and evil waited
The time is here
And the time is now
Are you ready to watch?
Are you ready to hear?
And are you ready to listen?
This is a story
You’ll never forget
So grab a chair
And let us begin"-JUDGEMENT DAY © 2012
Available on Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Copia, Sony, iBookstore, Kobo, Indigo
January 21, 2013
Hello
Just wanted to stop by and say hello to everyone. How is everything going. Have you read anything new and exciting lately?
I'm so excited it's been a month since JUDGEMENT DAY was published and I'm look forward to see how it does. And I'm also looking forward to feed back, and just wanted to give my email address to where you can send it as well. poemsandstories14@gmail.com.
Have a wonderful day everyone and God Bless.
I'm so excited it's been a month since JUDGEMENT DAY was published and I'm look forward to see how it does. And I'm also looking forward to feed back, and just wanted to give my email address to where you can send it as well. poemsandstories14@gmail.com.
Have a wonderful day everyone and God Bless.
January 20, 2013
All Writings Aside
As a writer that is how I let out my emotions my feelings, even prayers. I used to think that that was good enough and if not I could always read it back to the Heavenly Father. However now, that I'm older, a bit wiser, learning, and getting closer to him strengthening my relationship with him. I've come to see at least for me personally I've been cheating him, and not giving my all to him. Going to him first. And not only that but I've been cheating myself as well. Cheating myself out of the peace, joy, comfort, and happiness that he can give and provide when I unload confide and trust in him. And no longer can I use an excuse about not having the right words to say because the Ruach Qodesh-Holy Spirit will intercede for me and make my moaning and groaning understandable from me to Him. (Not able to remember what scripture this is so if somebody else does can you please post it for me. Thanks!)
So at least for me, no song, no story, and no poem can ever replace the time relationship and prayer of going to Abba directly. And when I do, I've come to find out that whatever inspiration I get out of that or from it so much better. Thank you and peace joy maturity growth and love to you from our Heavenly Father through his son the Messiah and our Lord Yeshua-Jesus.
So at least for me, no song, no story, and no poem can ever replace the time relationship and prayer of going to Abba directly. And when I do, I've come to find out that whatever inspiration I get out of that or from it so much better. Thank you and peace joy maturity growth and love to you from our Heavenly Father through his son the Messiah and our Lord Yeshua-Jesus.
January 4, 2013
An Unforgettable Face
"We flew from place to place
Causing chaos everywhere
Nothing was the same
Evil reigned over the earth
And I am its Queen
I like that feeling
It feels so great
But I see a dim light
And a shadow of a face
I would never forget"-JUDGEMENT DAY
This actually kind of reminds me of something. A few years back when I started to go to a Seventh-day Adventist Church, it was with my sister Marlene, and it was Allon Chapel in Lincoln. This is at one of the times that I quit doing drugs but my ex and our friend was doing it, and I was trying to live the proper life as a believer, and I was just messed up you know. So while we were driving, I was in the back seat just crying my eyes out, I was so hurt, so sad, and I looked up at the sky. And I noticed this cloud, and it was in the shape of a face and I believed it to be the face of Jesus or how he is described in pictures today. And for some reason when I saw that it did something to me, like something was working and happening on the inside of me, I felt peace and it was just overwhelming. And I think but not sure that was the same day I first got baptized. Hmm, well, oh well.
Reading this just brought that memory back to me and I wanted to share it with ya. Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful evening or day depending where you're at. Blessings.
Causing chaos everywhere
Nothing was the same
Evil reigned over the earth
And I am its Queen
I like that feeling
It feels so great
But I see a dim light
And a shadow of a face
I would never forget"-JUDGEMENT DAY
This actually kind of reminds me of something. A few years back when I started to go to a Seventh-day Adventist Church, it was with my sister Marlene, and it was Allon Chapel in Lincoln. This is at one of the times that I quit doing drugs but my ex and our friend was doing it, and I was trying to live the proper life as a believer, and I was just messed up you know. So while we were driving, I was in the back seat just crying my eyes out, I was so hurt, so sad, and I looked up at the sky. And I noticed this cloud, and it was in the shape of a face and I believed it to be the face of Jesus or how he is described in pictures today. And for some reason when I saw that it did something to me, like something was working and happening on the inside of me, I felt peace and it was just overwhelming. And I think but not sure that was the same day I first got baptized. Hmm, well, oh well.
Reading this just brought that memory back to me and I wanted to share it with ya. Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful evening or day depending where you're at. Blessings.
December 27, 2012
Murderous Thoughts
"My whole surroundings have changed
And they all looked at me
I stood with a smile on my face
I looked at Kamryn and Selene
Then I turned to Marie
Her smile faded from her face
“I am his Queen, and you cannot take my place
So get out of my face”
“I will kill you”
“Angel,” Kamryn screamed
As Marie came with a knife
Angel held up her hand
And stopped her in mid air
“Now is not the time, but you will get your chance”-JUDGEMENT DAY
I put a post awhile back on my Facebook page that we are all capable of killing or murdering under the right circumstances. Whether it may be protecting your family, payback, revenge, or uncontrolled and bottled up emotions let loose. I've had two experiences with this. One because of my emotions were bottled up with the person and situation and I just let loose one day, thankfully the Heavenly Father stepped in.
And the second, was regarding to my husband's ex when she came back in the picture and he totally disregarded me and my feelings just so that he can continue to talk to her and have his friendship with her again. The reason why I was so mad at her as well is because she knew how my husband was, how he felt about her, and what he did to her too, how he hurt her and cheated on her when they dated, but that didn't stop her. She had no consideration for me and my feelings.
So as time went on I begin to have thoughts that I really wanted to kill her, and I knew how I was mentally and emotionally if I ever saw her in the state I was in I probably would've and could have too. So I had to seek and go to the Father myself this time and pour out all my anger, pain, thoughts, and sorrow on him. I had to keep reminding myself of my past situation, my present, and that she wasn't worth it.
Marie had that same feeling, that same thought, that same choice, and as you read above she said it and was going to do it too. She wasn't able to that time, but she did get a second chance to do it.
But we aren't characters in a book that if we don't like an ending or an outcome we can just erase, delete and start over. We must choose wisely, and dispose, handle our emotions and situations properly before we end up and do something we'll regret for the rest of our lives. We must not let our Murderous Thoughts become Murderous Actions.
And they all looked at me
I stood with a smile on my face
I looked at Kamryn and Selene
Then I turned to Marie
Her smile faded from her face
“I am his Queen, and you cannot take my place
So get out of my face”
“I will kill you”
“Angel,” Kamryn screamed
As Marie came with a knife
Angel held up her hand
And stopped her in mid air
“Now is not the time, but you will get your chance”-JUDGEMENT DAY
I put a post awhile back on my Facebook page that we are all capable of killing or murdering under the right circumstances. Whether it may be protecting your family, payback, revenge, or uncontrolled and bottled up emotions let loose. I've had two experiences with this. One because of my emotions were bottled up with the person and situation and I just let loose one day, thankfully the Heavenly Father stepped in.
And the second, was regarding to my husband's ex when she came back in the picture and he totally disregarded me and my feelings just so that he can continue to talk to her and have his friendship with her again. The reason why I was so mad at her as well is because she knew how my husband was, how he felt about her, and what he did to her too, how he hurt her and cheated on her when they dated, but that didn't stop her. She had no consideration for me and my feelings.
So as time went on I begin to have thoughts that I really wanted to kill her, and I knew how I was mentally and emotionally if I ever saw her in the state I was in I probably would've and could have too. So I had to seek and go to the Father myself this time and pour out all my anger, pain, thoughts, and sorrow on him. I had to keep reminding myself of my past situation, my present, and that she wasn't worth it.
Marie had that same feeling, that same thought, that same choice, and as you read above she said it and was going to do it too. She wasn't able to that time, but she did get a second chance to do it.
But we aren't characters in a book that if we don't like an ending or an outcome we can just erase, delete and start over. We must choose wisely, and dispose, handle our emotions and situations properly before we end up and do something we'll regret for the rest of our lives. We must not let our Murderous Thoughts become Murderous Actions.
December 25, 2012
DESTINY
Before we are even born, our parents already map out our destiny for us. What they want us to do and be. But then once we are born and get a mind of our own that sometimes changes and they encourage us that we can do whatever we want to do and be whatever we want to be as long as we put our minds, energy, life into it. Who remembers being told that can't isn't and shouldn't be in your vocabulary. I know my mother said that to me a lot.
But it's not always that simple. Life happens. Mistakes, lessons, change of mind, change of heart, basically choice and free will. Sometimes we go down roads we don't want to and never thought we would go down, sometimes we have regrets, that we wish we would have done something different when we didn't. But whatever the case may be, our destiny is in our own hands, we have a choice to make every day of our lives.
We only get one life to live, and I know like Angel I want to choose wisely, learn from my mistakes, grow stronger than I was in the past, believe, hope, and have faith, and forgive myself along with others so that I can move on and not just be who the Creator wants me to be, but also to do what the Creator wants me to do.
How about you?
Angelica Stevenson
But it's not always that simple. Life happens. Mistakes, lessons, change of mind, change of heart, basically choice and free will. Sometimes we go down roads we don't want to and never thought we would go down, sometimes we have regrets, that we wish we would have done something different when we didn't. But whatever the case may be, our destiny is in our own hands, we have a choice to make every day of our lives.
We only get one life to live, and I know like Angel I want to choose wisely, learn from my mistakes, grow stronger than I was in the past, believe, hope, and have faith, and forgive myself along with others so that I can move on and not just be who the Creator wants me to be, but also to do what the Creator wants me to do.
How about you?
Angelica Stevenson
