August McLaughlin's Blog, page 41

Beauty of a Woman BlogFest V: Registration!

Celebrate good times, COME ON!  I’m grooving to happy tunes, because it’s time to register for the 5th annual Beauty of a Woman BlogFest. Woo hoo! If you’re new to BOAW, here’s the scoop, in a nutshell: Five years ago, I launched this fest out of gratitude for the support I received after sharing my […]

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A Simple Way to be an Ally for Trans People

I imagine most cisgender women have occasionally felt fearful when alone in a public restroom. What if a creepy stalker slips in the room? What if my life turns Criminal Minds-ey while I’m sitting here vulnerable with my pants down? Imagine feeling unsafe every time you used one, for myriad valid reasons. As you’ve probably heard, Kansas lawmakers […]

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Empowering Ways to Talk Sexy

I’ll never forget the time a guy I was dating—let’s call him Earl—pulled sexy talk (aka dirty talk) seemingly out of nowhere. This otherwise shy, quiet, ultra-polite person morphed into a sex-talking animal behind closed doors. Rarr! At the time, I wasn’t only stunned, but intimidated. How the heck would I reciprocate? Well, I didn’t. […]

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How to REALLY Get Body-Positive

I don’t know about you all, but I am loving the body-positive movement. In case you’re unfamiliar, body positivity is the (seemingly) radical notion that all bodies deserve respect—regardless of shape, size, ability, age, gender or other particulars. We shouldn’t need the term, but sheesh! Do we ever. Lots of studies show that most women have negative […]

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5 Little Known Facts About Your Period

I couldn’t believe the timing. While discussing menstruation on Girl Boner® Radio last week, my dear aunt Flo decided to join me. Rather than blush or grumble, as I might have in the past, I welcomed her with open arms: What a glorious friend you are! Some might think me obnoxious overly giddy for wanting to […]

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Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone: Could You Use a Little Nudge?

I used to love working with cameras, when gifted experts in film and fashion were running the show. Since transitioning out of those industries, I seldom have the chance. For years, I’ve considered making my own impromptu videos. Each time the thought struck, though, I talked myself out of it with all sorts of excuses. I don’t have […]

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Sex, Grief and Abundance with Lauren Marie Fleming

“She wins who calls herself beautiful and challenges the world to change to truly see her.” — Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth This is one of my favorite quotes, and yesterday I interviewed someone who epitomizes it. Lauren Marie Fleming calls herself an “uppity love rebel,” who takes the guilty out of pleasure—and not only for herself. After […]

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A Simple, Powerful Way to Help Homeless Women

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” — Mother Teresa

Parts of Miami remind me of a tropical Skid Row. People without homes, carrying all of their belongings in tattered bags or carts, taking refuge beside trees or asking for change on street corners. Of the countless homeless people I encountered while living there, one woman in particular stands out. She would wander my neighborhood with wonder in her eyes, asking if I’d seen “the Scarecrow” or knew the “way to the Wizard.” More than once I glimpsed her clicking her heels together; “there’s no place like home.”

There’s a lot I could say about the woman I quickly learned to call “Dorothy,” but what’s been striking me lately is a way I wish I would have helped her.

I often gave her small amounts of money or food, but it never even crossed my mind to give her feminine hygiene products. Every so often she’d disappear for a few days or more. Looking back, I wouldn’t be surprised if her period was the reason. Regardless, menstruating likely made her life on the streets more difficult.

It’s one thing to not have access to feminine hygiene products when Aunt Flo arrives unexpectedly in the middle of a yoga class, date or business meeting. (I think most of us gals have been there.) It’s another thing entirely when you’re forced to bleed through your clothes for days, or to use soiled clothing or garbage as a “pad.” Forget about ice packs, painkillers or a comfortable place to rest away cramps and headaches.

A lack of feminine hygiene products is a huge, often devastating problem for homeless women. Because menstruation remains sadly taboo in our culture, it’s rarely even thought of by the masses. We may donate canned goods and spare quarters, but tampons?

It’s not surprising that menstrual products are among the most needed supplies in women’s shelters, and the least often donated. So here’s an idea I’m committing to myself. Make a point of donating them. Keep extras in your purse or car. Place them in bags with a snack and spare change to hand out to women you pass by on the streets. You could very well bring much-needed sunshine to a woman’s life.

Some of you helped women in need by purchasing Embraceable last week. Thanks so, so much! As promised, I used $1 from every paperback purchase during its release week to purchase feminine hygiene products for a busy Los Angeles women’s shelter. Here’s the stash I’m dropping off today.

Huge thanks to everyone who tweeted, commented and shared thoughts and support during the giveaway contest. Here are the winners!

1 Clitoring from Penelopi Jones: Jennifer Silva Redmond
1 $100 pre-paid credit card from Denise: Laura Probert
1 Rose Gold Vesper: Kitt Crescendo
1 $50 Amazon gift card: Sarah Johnston
1 BioMatch Femhygiene set from Good Clean Love: Amy Kennedy
3 Embraceable goody packs, including a signed paperback, #YouSparkle sticky notes and a Girl Boner® lip lube: Jess Witkins, Jessica Wheeler and Elizabeth Anne Mitchell

Winners: I’ll contact you for your addresses. If you don’t hear from me within 48 hours, please contact me.

Have you ever donated feminine hygiene products to the homeless? What other steps do you take to support them? I love hearing from y’all!

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Sexuality and Eating Disorders

Those of you who follow along with Girl Boner® or have read Embraceable know that my relationship with my sexuality played a huge role in the eating disorder I battled in my late teens and early twenties. I was working as a model when I was diagnosed, seducing cameras and leading what seemed like an ultra-sexy. Meanwhile, my sexuality laid […]

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Sexuality and Eating Disorders: Episode 108

Those of you who follow along with Girl Boner® or have read Embraceable know that my relationship with my sexuality played a huge role in the eating disorder I battled in my late teens and early twenties. I was working as a model when I was diagnosed, seducing cameras and leading what seemed like an ultra-sexy. Meanwhile, my sexuality laid dormant.

Anorexia strips women of their femininity—sex drive and ability to even have sex often included. So while I could work cameras and runways with the best of them (until the illness progressed), I was pretty much useless in the bedroom. Even if I could’ve had sex physically, my dwindling self-esteem would have prevented much of anything.

Whether we develop a full-fledged eating disorder or not, how we feel about our bodies and selves deeply influences how we feel about our sexuality, and vice versa. Simply recognizing my lack of sexual empowerment seemed to take my recovery from belabored baby-steps to soaring. While not an instant fix, it unlocked a new beginning. Awareness is mighty powerful.

In the latest on Girl Boner® Radio, I had the pleasure of interviewing two special guests who know all about such awareness—and use their skills, voices and platforms to raise it for others. You’ll hear from Tye Riviera Handley, a nutritionist who’s noticed prevalence of eating disorders in the male fitness community, and Kendra Tanner, of The True You Project, who contributed a beautiful story for Embraceable.

Here’s a rundown of topics we explored:

Why it’s important to recognize that eating disorders are not merely “feminine diseases”
Unique challenges men who struggle face
Binging versus overeating
Orthorexia basics
Signs a loved one might be struggling with an eating disorder
How Kendra’s “clinical” sex education at home affected her
Parallels between her struggle with bulimia and her beliefs about her sexuality
How religious views affected her sexuality, early on and now
What you should know if you’re struggling in these areas
Dr. Megan and my responses to a listener’s question about bulimia and low-libido

Listen on iTunes, Stitcher Radio or here:

Quick note to blog subscribers: I’ve recently merged my blog with my homepage, so if you subscribe to my blog (thank you!), you’ll notice that Girl Boner® Radio episode followup posts now appear in your inbox—along with my general blog posts. To clarify which are which, I’m adding the episode number to the title. I hope this helps! To receive Girl Boner® Radio episodes straight away, be sure to subscribe on iTunes.

What did you think of the episode? How has poor body image or disordered eating affected your sex life? What’s helped you heal? I love hearing from you!

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