Mandi Bean's Blog, page 8

On displacement (Part Three)

My Chemical Romance

Holy shit.

I’ve been obsessed with My Chemical Romance since I was 15. I heard Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge while riding in a friend’s car down Route 70 towards Whiting, where streetlights can be few and far between and it was summer so we had the windows down. I never felt more alive, more in touch with who I really was (which is saying something for being 15). I immediately bought that album and anything else I could get my hands on.

I was Helena for Halloween. Thankfully, no photographic evidence exists.

For my high school creative writing class, we had to write a song in response to a song. I picked “Helena.”

This man. I can’t catch my breath.

And I was madly, hopelessly, desperately in love with Gerard Way. This obsession worsened in college once they released The Black Parade and the first issue of The Umbrella Academy came out. For my 18th birthday, my friend Maeve gifted me with a meet-and-greet ticket at the signing for the comic book.

I died. As soon as I walked away from the table, my legs turned to jelly and I almost fell to my knees.

I saw them at Warped Tour, Bamboozle, Madison Square Garden, Terminal 5, and the Tweeter Center (I know it’s not called that now, but it’s hard to keep up. And just goes to show you how old I am). They’re my favorite band of all time. Danger Days wasn’t my favorite album, but I had a deluxe edition all the same and lost my shit during the concert just the same.

When I heard they broke up, I was driving from Virginia to Florida. I pulled over and sobbed.

Over a decade later, they’re back together and tickets are a fortune and nearly impossible to get. And then the pandemic hit. And then I was in Ireland. It seemed like I’d never see them.

Tell me this isn’t the greatest shirt ever and I’ll call you a liar.

But Melanie and Brian bought me a ticket to their show at UBS Arena in New York, picked me up from Newark Airport, booked a hotel nearby, and drove to the arena. We bought the best merchandise ever and slammed some beers while waiting for the doors to open. Once we were inside …

It was fucking phenomenal. They started with their new song, “The Foundations of Decay,” and I howled along with a kind of desperation I haven’t known since I was a teenager. I thought I was going to cry.

They went right into “Na Na Na,” and even though it’s from my least favorite album, I went nuts. I turned and punched Melanie in the arm out of excitement and then danced enthusiastically in the aisle. Next was “Boy Division.” Are you kidding me? That’s only one of their greatest songs ever. The opening lines are perfect: “If all my enemies threw a party, would you light the candles?” I mean, it was just hit after hit after hit.

Thank You for the VenomTeenagersGive ‘Em Hell, KidThis Is the Best Day EverDESTROYAWelcome to the Black ParadeBurn BrightI’m Not Okay (which Gerard introduced as the great song ever made. He’s not wrong.)MamaOur Lady of SorrowsThe Ghost of YouFamous Last WordsSleepCancerBury Me in BlackHelena

They rocked so hard, I tried to claw my own flesh off. I couldn’t breathe. Gerard sounded better than he ever has and Ray was just fucking shredding the guitar. I died and was reborn and died again. It was perfect–the perfect show.

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On displacement (Part Two).

It’s been said that missed opportunities are never really missed because they’re always taken by someone else.

On August 26th, I said goodbye to Missy and Maddie and John in the parking lot of Dr. Crawford’s office and climbed into a Tesla to get to an airport by the hotel. The Tesla was fancy; I couldn’t figure out how to open the door. The navigation screen was an iPad and when it picked up speed, it sounded like an airplane.

The hotel was great. I’m a huge fan of hotel bars now, by the way. I had a couple of beets and some snacks before I went up to my room. I took a two-hour nap. I didn’t set an alarm or anything, and I would have LOVED to sleep longer. I remembered what Missy said about the week being emotionally exhausting and I just nodded or whatever, but she totally had a point. I guess I didn’t sleep longer because I was anxious about my flight then next day and making the shuttle. I ate my anxiety before it could eat me via WAY TOO MUCH Chinese food. It was good, though.

I made the shuttle and boarded my flight just fine, but I didn’t sleep on the plane. I wish I had. I never sleep anymore. Maybe that’s why my brain was foggy and I left my phone in the bathroom by the gate but I didn’t realize that until I was already at baggage claim. I couldn’t find the right carousel and a very attractive young man told me which one it was. So I went to text Melanie, who was picking me up with her husband Brian and their friend Dave, but alas–my phone was in the bathroom stall. I started to panic, especially when the TSA agent told me I wouldn’t be allowed through security with a used boarding pass. She told me to find an airline agent. Shekemia P. from United Airlines at Newark Airport is a goddess, an angel!

She called my phone and a wonderful British woman answered. She had talked to Melanie when she called and was trying to deliver my phone to an agent. Shekemia went through security to find this unbelievably kind British woman and told me to wait by where we first met. The hot baggage handler passed by a couple of times and I told him about my phone, and he says, “Too bad you don’t have your phone. I was gonna ask you for your number.” And then he just smiled and walked off. A little while later, when I was freaking out worse and still waiting, he came back and asked if I had my number memorized. Obviously I did, so I gave him my number. I didn’t see him again, because another agent saw how worried I look and tried to help me track down Shekemia and we found her. I called Melanie, they picked me up, and we were on our way to the My Chemical Romance concert.

The hot baggage handler texted me and we talked for a couple of minutes. He messaged me again when we got to the hotel and and we made plans to go on a date Wednesday evening. I went to write back and all of a sudden, my SIM card was invalid. My phone kept telling me my SIM failed. I could not believe it. Melanie and Dave tried to help me figure it out: we put my SIM in Dave’s phone, we did a hard reset, we Googled how to fix it–but nothing worked. Brian offered to drive to a Verizon store on the way to the UBS arena, which was incredibly generous. The first store didn’t have SIM cards. They directed me to another store, which didn’t exist. The third and final store had SIM cards, but to activate it, the employee had to get in touch with the authorized users on the account … my parents.

They NEVER answer numbers they don’t know. I had to call five times before my mom picked up and thank God she did. We finally left for the arena over an hour later than Brian had planned, but everyone was so patient and accommodating and kind, and I remembered how blessed I am.

The baggage guy suddenly canceled the date without any explanation. I wonder if it was because I wasn’t texting him? But there was that whole issue with my SIM card. I heard once that you can’t really be with someone unless you have a great origin story. I thought I had mine, but alas; it was not meant to be.

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On displacement (Part One).

I’m writing to you now from a Barnes and Noble café, stealing electricity and Wi-Fi. I don’t move into my rental until tomorrow, so since I flew back on Saturday from Austin, I’ve been bouncing around from place to place. I hate this feeling of being unsettled and unable to relax. I have no space of my own and it feels like a loss of independence. Maybe it’s only really bothering me today because I’m so close to having a place. I’m sure it’s that combined with a million and one other things, so I need to take a deep breath.

The last two days in Austin were phenomenal. There’s more on those days in the “Miracle Maddie” section below. My return to New Jersey has also been epic, and that’s why I’ve decided to break this post into three parts: Miracle Maddie’s last days in Austin, my airport misadventure, and the My Chemical Romance show. So let’s start with my girl, Miracle Maddie.

Miracle Maddie

Friday was our last day in Texas at the Austin Center for Developing Minds with Dr. Brandon Crawford and his amazing, outstanding, compassionate, and knowledgeable team! That building is bursting with love—there’s no other way to say it! They gave us a home care plan and there was so much laughter We have so much hope for the future!

And what an honor and blessing it was to meet Tim Siegel and Ronda Johnson from Team Luke Hope for Minds! They have done so much for families like ours with kids like Maddie, and they are wonderful. Maddie has a home chamber for HBOT thanks to Team Luke and they have remained generous to our family and countless others.

What a glorious week! Maddie worked so hard and it was so rewarding to hear good news, to hear that she is healing. Dr. Cordell told us Maddie’s vestibular system was balanced, meaning her hearing and vision and balance have all improved! It was so WONDERFUL to hear good news! It’s such a blessing that Maddie’s hard work is paying off! THE TREATMENTS ARE WORKING!

Austin Fundraiser

So we’re back from that wonderful and successful trip to the Austin Center for Developing Minds in Austin, Texas with Dr. Brandon Crawford and his amazing team, but we want to give anyone interested every opportunity to be able to win some cool and valuable gift cards, so LET’S GET THESE BOXES GONE!

Pick a number to fill a box! When you choose your box, you’ll commit to donating that dollar amount towards Maddie’s therapy intensive with Dr. Crawford and his team, and to purchasing related equipment for the provided home care plan!

There are THREE ways to claim your box: 1) Venmo the amount to @Melissa-Wagenhoffer-1; 2) Use Cash App: $MelissaWagenhoffer; 3) PayPal: john_wagenhoffer@yahoo.com

There are 10 gift cards in mystery numbers throughout the chart–choose the right box and you could win a gift card for gas, to Amazon, Starbucks, and more!

Winners will be announced when every box is gone!

The post On displacement (Part One). appeared first on mandi bean: writer.

On being in Cedar Park, Texas.

We rented our Air BnB in Cedar Park, Texas.

Greetings from Cedar Park, Texas! Missy, John, Maddie, and I arrived a littler after 7 pm on Sunday evening. We were loaded into my parents’ RV and hit the road! It was a long trip, but it was definitely worth it.

Writing

I haven’t done any writing on this trip. It’s been a while since I was in touch with my Dissertation Support Group or Write Club, filled with my classmates and best friends from Ireland. Luckily, word count is not an issue for me. I know I’ve written about this in previous posts, but all that’s left for me to do is edit the work, format it for submission, and complete the reflection piece. And then my dissertation will be finished.

I’m excited and looking forward to submitting it because then I’ll channel all my energy into completing a manuscript and submitting it to literary agents. I need to get out of the small presses and I think completing my MFA and getting an agent will help me do just that.

Reading

I’ve been blazing through Blacktop Wasteland by S.A. Cosby. It’s true what critics have said; once the action starts, it DOES NOT let up. There’s beautiful descriptive language paired with intriguing and charismatic characters and a twisting, engaging plot. I plan on exploring other titles by S.A. Cosby, including Razorblade Tears. That novel made Barack Obama’s must-read list and was at the center of a great piece by the New York Times about Cosby and his Southern noirs.

S.A. Cosby knows how to write a page-turner!Miracle Maddie

Maddie has been killing it in Austin, Texas at the Austin Center for Developing Minds! I cannot praise Dr. Brandon Crawford and his team enough; they are saving lives every single day and giving families hope!

I should have known this trip would be amazing because we left under a very, very good sign. During her physical and occupational therapy sessions, ALL of her therapists noticed better tracking and decreased tone, so they felt good about having Maddie try out using an eye gaze device to play a game. She had to focus on a particular area of the screen to start the game and to punch the fruit (which was the object of the game ), she had to focus on the fruit when it appeared … AND SHE DID IT! She was kicking ass and taking names!

On Maddie’s first day of treatment, we met with Dr. Crawford first and we talked about goals for Maddie that included better tone in her lower extremities and getting her to smile. Crawford added some goals of his own, which included: swallowing, breathing, gut work (bowel movements), and eventual trach removal! Maddie Girl got to wear a funny hat during an attempt at a QEEG—but we’re not sure if we got a good read. Maddie received all sorts of laser treatments and we used a machine that repairs proteins to help with breathing. Everyone—absolutely everyone—who walked in and had met Maddie last year said, “She’s like a different kid!” These treatments are working!

On the second day, we learned that *everyone* was impressed that we’ve been capping her trach! Dr. Crawford says that’s proof she’s healing and he is so impressed with the improvements in her facial tone!

Today, the third day, Maddie Girl did HARD WORK! The knowledgeable and compassionate team at Austin Center for Developing Minds pushed her and supported her, and we’re ALREADY seeing results! Maddie made some new noises and one of her specialists told us smiling was on the horizon! Dr. Crawford and his team have done just as much for us as they have for Maddie! We are so incredibly thankful and blessed.

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On getting ready to wait…

The American poet Tom Petty once said, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

I feel really weird lately. Like, it’s an odd mixture of sadness and excitement. So much change has happened in my life lately, and my life isn’t what I thought it’d be, but I don’t know if it ever really is. There’s that famous saying that goes, “Humans make plans so God can laugh,” or something like that.

On Thursday, I left Florida to drive up to New Jersey. I made great time even though I drove through a lot of stormy weather. I stopped for the night in North Carolina and I realized a couple of things. One is that I really, really love sleeping in hotel rooms. I can make the room as dark and as cold as I want. I can spread out across a bed, tangled in sheets and a thick blanket. Another is that breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. Coffee, orange juice, biscuits smeared with grape jelly, fluffy scrambled eggs, crisp bacon, sausage…I set my alarm to make sure I could have some of the free breakfast in the lobby.

The weather was worse than it had been the day before, and a cleaning woman pushing a trash can was staring pointedly in my direction when I was making coffee. I apologized and told her I’d be out of her way in a second, but she smiled. She told me not to worry, that I wasn’t in her way, and that she was just looking at the rain through the window. She also told me she hated this weather, and that the hotel would be lonely and cold and depressing. I didn’t know what to say.

I hit traffic from Virginia to New Jersey. I was sore and tired, but there’s nothing like northern New Jersey in the summer. I was staying with my friend Brandi in Newfoundland, and the drive to her home is gorgeous. There’s rolling hills and green fields, and lakes shimmering in the sunlight. As I got closer to her neighborhood, the roads become narrower and more winding and I felt like I was somewhere else. When I parked, I could smell barbecue on grills and I could hear kids screaming laughter and it just felt like home.

I stayed with my friend for two nights before I left to come to Melanie’s house in the neighborhood I grew up in. Maybe that’s why I feel weird, because the sense of displacement I’ve had for the last 18 months is still weighing me down. I’m home, but I’m not, not really. I’m still couch surfing and am leaving in less than 48 hours. I feel like I can’t relax. My good friend Rachel asked me if I sleep, and I do, but it’s not restful. I never sleep through the night and I wake up earlier than I have to, earlier than I want to.

Writing

I had a meeting with my supervisor on Monday. He found out about Moody Blue being published from one of my awesome classmates and offered to send an email to his colleagues. He’s been so wise and generous, and this last meeting was no different. My dissertation is basically done. My plan is to read it over one more time and check for any glaring errors and tweak any sentences that don’t sound right, but there’ll be no major additions or deletions, or any kind of rewrite. I agree with my supervisor; he said doing too much now will overwork the writing. I’ll format it and write a review and send it in. It’ll be a relief to cross this off the list of things to get done.

And then I’ll be able to devote myself to my novel fully. I volunteered for Student Government Association at work, and I’ll be teaching two classes I never taught before, but I have more confidence than I did that I’ll be able to create and stick to a writing schedule. Once I know what that looks like, I’ll post it here. And I’ll make sure these posts talk more about the writing and tips and tricks I’ve discovered along the way (and am still discovering).

Reading

I’ve just started Blacktop Wasteland by S.A. Crosby. I’m only about 20 pages in. It’s received rave reviews and I’m a sucker for a Southern noir. Stephen King tweeted, “I loved BLACKTOP WASTELAND, by S.A. Cosby. The epigram tells you all you need to know about this fast-paced, bareknuckle thriller: ‘Drive it like you stole it.'” I was reading a lot in Florida, and I need to continue that pace once I’m settled in New Jersey.

What I’m currently reading.Miracle Maddie

Maddie Girl’s been working SO hard and killing it in the fashion world. Don’t worry; there’s photographic evidence below. She had an absolutely amazing speech therapy session! She was tracking up and to the right consistently, turning her head toward sound, showing good tone in lips and tongue, and she even enjoyed some cantaloupe! And during another therapy session, she swallowed SEVEN times!

As I’ve been traveling and seeing friends and family I haven’t seen for a while, so many have commented on how far Maddie’s come and how good she looks. That’s possible because of their continued interest. My family and I are forever indebted to everyone who has prayed and shared her fundraisers and donated. Thank you so much and please continue walking with Maddie and her family because this road is
l o n g and difficult.

Killing it at therapy and slaying the outfit!

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On Conversations With Friends.

I feel so blessed that copies of my newest novel, Moody Blue, are still being ordered and that readers are kind enough to share that news with me, as well as their thoughts about the novel! You can order your copy here. And if you have read it, please consider taking the time to leave a review on Goodreads or Amazon–it would be greatly, greatly appreciated!

I know this blog has been rambling this summer, and I apologize for that. I really believe a return to teaching and, more importantly, a return to schedule will do me good. I’ll still post about what I’m currently reading and on my work in progress, and about Miracle Maddie, but I also want to share plenty of tips and tricks and tools that have helped me in my writing journey.

Writing

Speaking of my work in progress, my dissertation is due September 16th and I’m having my last meeting with my supervisor shortly. I’ll have a little less than a quarter of my manuscript for my third novel finished, which is exciting. I’ll be traveling a lot over the next few weeks and I want to be able to print out and read it over and spend some time with it, but I’m not entirely sure that’s going to be an option. I used to love being in the car and rushing around, but as of late, I desperately want my own space and my own schedule. If nothing else, it’ll free up the time and the space for writing.

Reading Buy it here.

I finally got to read some Sally Rooney. The only title available the the nearest Barnes and Noble was Conversations with Friends, her debut novel. I read it in one day, so I was obviously very engaged and enjoyed the story, but I felt frustrated as the novel reached its conclusion. There was a lot of ambiguity about the characters and their relationships and that dissatisfied me. That’s not a slight against Rooney. Her writing is gorgeous and I can’t wait to read more. I think at this point in my reading life, I’m looking for certainty. I don’t want to have to make decisions or draw conclusions. That might mean I’m lazy, and I’m sure that’s an accurate adjective for now, but I’m also hopeful it will change.

Miracle Maddie

Maddie Girl had her therapy appointment that was combined with her speech therapy—the plan is to help Maddie start communicating with special devices and methods so that we can know when she’s tired or feeling good. She’s been looking good, staying calm, and having a string a great days. We’ve noticed she’s more interactive and engaged. She’s restless at night and only allows for her trach to be capped for a few minutes, but there’s something to be excited about every day. She’s amazing.

Please keep praying and sharing her GoFundMe fundraiser, and please consider donating to our Austin fundraiser.

Wanna win some COOL and VALUABLE GIFT CARDS??!!?!

We leave for Austin, Texas in just 10 days for Miracle Maddie’s Magical Medical Tour! LET’S GET THESE BOXES GONE!

Pick a number to fill a box! When you choose your box, you’ll commit to donating that dollar amount towards Maddie’s upcoming therapy intensive with Dr. Crawford at the Austin Center for Developing Minds in Austin, Texas!

There are THREE ways to claim your box: 1) Venmo the amount to @Melissa-Wagenhoffer-1, 2) Use Cash App: $MelissaWagenhoffer, 3) PayPal: john_wagenhoffer@yahoo.com

There are 10 gifts cards in mystery numbers throughout the chart—choose the right box and you could win a gift card for gas, to Amazon, Starbucks, and more!

Winners will be announced when we return from Austin!

The post On Conversations With Friends. appeared first on mandi bean: writer.

On August.

I love August. That’s an unpopular opinion because it signals the end of summer, but it means fall is closer, and that’s my favorite season, and that football and school are starting again. So as much as August is about endings, it’s also full of beginnings. And it’s such a beautiful word, if you think about it. There’s something sturdy but elegant about it.

Writing

Moody Blue is getting rave reviews from the readers who have been kind enough to take the time to reach out! Here are some more responses:

You can order your copy here and join the conversation! If you’ve read Moody Blue and enjoyed it, please consider taking the time to leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. That can help me expand my readership! Thanks in advance!

My dissertation is almost done. Now, my focus shifts to editing. I plan on following the lessons on editing from Professor Joseph O’Connor and Kit de Waal. I believe I’ve shared this before, but the most important lesson about writing I learned from the Master’s course was to put the work in, especially when editing. I bought highlighters and colored pencils to print out my draft and read it through. I’m prepared to do it again and again, focusing on a different area. The specificity helps keep the job from being overwhelming and refines the editing process, making it more effective.

Reading

I’ve been reading Sleepers by Lorenzo Carcaterra. The writing is factual but beautiful, imbued with a stoic sentimentality that makes a perfect tone. It was the basis for a fantastic, underrated film of the same name.

Definitely worth checking out.

I’m about a quarter of the way through, and I’m really enjoying it.

Goals for the Academic Year

I return to New Jersey at the end of this month. I’m renting a place in Seaside and returning to teaching after a year and a half outside of the classroom. I’m excited to be going back and am interested in seeing what it will be like to be in Jersey without my family. I’m starting to think the independence will embolden me and I’ll keep moving in the right direction to become the woman I’ve always wanted to be: a wild, creative, bohemian beauty. I’ve started this list:

Attend graduation for Master’s degree in Creative Writing in Ireland
-This will take place in January. I have to make sure to request time off, book a flight, and book a hotel.Be a better role model for literacy
– For a long time now, I’ve been wanting to stop scrolling on my phone as much. To that end, I should always have a book to read. I also think it’d be great to join a book club.Research earning my Master’s in Literature.
-If I went somewhere closer to home, I could further my education and meet new people. Being back on campus in Ireland was awesome.Make my classroom feel more inviting and treat it more like my office
-I want to add rugs and decorations and flexible seating. I want to have snacks for me and my students in my desk, and I’d like to have a mug warmer and maybe a coffee station I could hide in my cabinet. The bottom line is, I want to make the spaces I spend the most time in more personal.Take a class: art, music
-I’ve always wanted to play piano and I’ve always wanted to paint. I even had a couple of sessions with one of my students who was very talented.Make my aesthetic match who I am because I want it to be that way.Miracle Maddie

We returned from Mexico on Thursday and Maddie took a long weekend to recover. At the beginning of this week, she resumed her regular schedule of therapy. We also started capping her trach again–got her up to twelve minutes!–and we’re making plans to resume HBOT protocol before we make it to Austin, Texas.

Want to win some valuable gift cards?

We leave for Austin, Texas in 17 days for Miracle Maddie’s Magical Medical Tour! LET’S GET THESE BOXES GONE!

Pick a number to fill a box! When you choose your box, you’ll commit to donating that dollar amount towards Maddie’s upcoming therapy intensive with Dr. Crawford at the Austin Center for Developing Minds in Austin, Texas!

There are THREE ways to claim your box: 1) Venmo the amount to @Melissa-Wagenhoffer-1; 2) Use Cash App: $MelissaWagenhoffer; 3)PayPal: john_wagenhoffer@yahoo.com

There are 10 gift cards in mystery numbers throughout the chart–choose the right box and you could win a gift card for gas, to Amazon, Starbucks, and more! Winners will be announced when we return from Austin, Texas!

The post On August. appeared first on mandi bean: writer.

On writing in Mexico.

WritingMOODY BLUE

More readers have been sharing their reactions to my newest novel, Moody Blue. I’m excited to share them with you here.

A lot of readers enjoyed the pacing and suspense. There are fun references to my hometown in NJ (the greatest state in the nation, obvi). Aren’t you just dying to find out who Josh is?

If you’ve read my latest novel and enjoyed it, please please please consider writing a review for Amazon or Goodreads! It could help me gain new readers, which is always the goal. Thanks in advance. I am so blessed and I never want to seem ungrateful. I assure you I am well aware of the amazing support I consistently receive from family and friends and loved ones. So THANK YOU <3

Dissertation

My meeting with my supervisor last week was AWESOME! He said the writing I sent was “very well-constructed,” “tense,” and that it had “perfect pacing”! He gave me advice for when I implement the dissertation into the whole of the novel’s narrative structure, and he told me he wanted to read it when it was all done! Are you freaking kidding me? I’m so happy!

He also suggested I watch the movie “The Rainmaker” with Matt Damon because the relationship featured there might help in the one I’m creating and he mentioned that structurally, my writing reminds him of John Grisham. WOW.

It’s difficult, though, writing the dissertation as an excerpt from the novel because some decisions serve the dissertation more than the novel and it’s important for me to remember that the novel format can include more scenes and is a better representative of the timeline I have in my head. I need to start working on the novel more and just edit the dissertation so it can all make sense.

Reading

My friend Joanna Elm sent me a signed copy of her newest book Fool Her Once and I’ve been tearing through it! It’s been subverting my expectations in all the best, deliciously satisfying ways! I’m so proud of my friend and so happy for her. We met at the Algonkian Writer Conference in St. Augustine, Florida back in 2017.

Miracle Maddie

This week, I’ve been in Monterrey, Mexico with Missy and Maddie. Maddie received her second stem cell treatment from HOST. We flew out on Thursday, July 21st and on Friday, we all went to the hospital so Maddie could get blood work done and her first preparatory shot for the stem cell procedure. She received similar shots on Saturday and Sunday, and on Monday, she underwent the procedure. Her sample had over 90 million stem cells, which is 30 million more than she got the last time, at a viability rate over 90%! We are so excited to see what the future holds for Maddie Girl.

Missy and Maddie on the flight.Maddie Girl is still recovering from the procedure–check out that yawn!!

The post On writing in Mexico. appeared first on mandi bean: writer.

On my lovely, lovely writing life.

Moody Blue

My newest novel, Moody Blue, has been out for a week now and I’m still just as thrilled and excited as I was the day it came out. My aunt Michelle, my friend and fellow writer Jill Ocone, and my friend and colleague all read the novel in one day! They said it was suspenseful and kept turning pages. What more can a writer ask for?

If you’ve read it, leave a comment and/or send me a message and let me know you what you thought of it! And if you haven’t ordered your copy, you can do it here.

Dissertation

I recently found out I can turn in my dissertation electronically, which is AMAZING because getting a physical, bound copy to Ireland would have taken two weeks in the mail, meaning I would have lost weeks of writing time. And all that would have been taking place as I travel from Florida to Mexico to Florida to New Jersey to Austin to New Jersey. Phew.

Luckily, it’s coming along very nicely. I’m having another meeting with my supervisor soon and I anticipate it’ll goes as wonderfully as the first one did. I’ve also been having meetings with fellow classmates from Ireland and we’ve all been giving each other feedback and support. Those meetings have been really, really helpful. One of the most important things I’ve learned since embarking on this journey for my Master’s degree is that all writers need a tribe. Not only for the feedback and shared knowledge but for the social element as well. Writing is lonely; the need to observe automatically makes one an outsider. To balance those facts of the writing life, all writers need a tribe.

Reading

I’ve been reading Jesus’ Son by Denis Johnson. The language is beautiful even though the plots and themes can be unsettling. That contradiction makes for really powerful prose. I’m nearly done with the collection of short stories. There’s been some absolutely stunning lines.

Miracle Maddie

Maddie Girl’s been having GREAT DAYS! During our visit to Maddie’s chiropractor, one of the moms in the waiting room overheard what the chiropractor was saying to Maddie and Mommy, and confirmed Maddie was “having a great day.” The chiropractor was also impressed with Maddie and said she was “definitely coming back to us”! She’s making amazing strides so please continue on this journey with us!

Mommy and Maddie at Ability Plus Therapy in Melbourne, Florida.

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On publication day.

Moody Blue

IT’S RELEASE DAY FOR MY NEW NOVEL, MOODY BLUE!

You can pick up your copy here. It’s available in paperback, hardcover, and Kindle versions. I’m so excited! And I really, really hope that if you do read it, you are thoroughly entertained.

Dissertation

I haven’t let the release of Moody Blue distract me entirely from writing. I’ve been working on my dissertation and after that wonderful meeting with my supervisor, I’m feeling good. I’m actually feeling confident in my writing. I have a meeting with my support group on Thursday and I’m eager to receive their feedback on the scenes I sent them. Though I’m blessed to have a fresh bout of confidence, validation is always welcome.

ReadingWHERE THE CRAWDADS SING

I just finished Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens. I wanted to make sure I read it before seeing the film, and it is a remarkable debut. I especially enjoyed the upheaval the ending brought to the entire narrative, almost forcing the reader to go back to the beginning and read it again. I found myself envying Owens’s descriptions; the setting is as much a character as anyone else and it comes into brilliant view with her gorgeous prose. I stayed up late to finish it, which isn’t something I’ve done recently.

I’m so glad I read the novel before learning of the controversy surrounding Owens. Reading that article–and a few more like it–really force you to rethink the novel’s ending and while I appreciate that, it does also unnerve me.

And I know watching a movie isn’t exactly like reading (or even close), but I’m a firm believer that all media we ingest becomes part of our creative output, so I should mention that I saw Baz Luhrmann’s “ELVIS.”

“ELVIS” A picture I took during my visit to Graceland; sums up all you need to know in life, I think.

My dad was sixteen-years-old when Elvis Presley died. He’s always been a huge fan and claims kids called him “Elvis” in high school because of his long hair and sideburns. He can tell you where he was when he found out the King of Rock and Roll had passed; he’d been at football practice and was walking back to the field house when a teammate showed him the newspaper headline. Dad took the paper down to the goalposts where no one could see and cried like a baby.

I remember how excited and proud Dad was when he brought home a 32-disc CD player with speakers. Some of my favorite childhood memories involve laying on my stomach with the headphones plugged in, listening to anything and everything I could. My family’s always been into music, so I was lucky enough to get a taste of everything, but one of the first CDs I remember listening to over and over was Elvis’s “Aloha from Hawaii.”

I was cautiously optimistic when I learned Baz Luhrmann was directing an Elvis biopic. I thought the HBO documentary “The Searcher” did a fantastic job capturing Elvis as a showman and artist and man, but Luhrmann has a s t y l e–and flair for the dramatic–that I thought could add to the legend and myth surrounding Elvis Aaron Presley. I knew that if I was going to see it, I had to do so with Dad.

And we were not disappointed. The narrative takes a backseat to Luhrmann’s vision at times, but that’s nothing new. One critic said his adaptation of “The Great Gatsby” was “…a lovely champagne bubble of a film” and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said this “Elvis” movie is like “…a shabby satin pillowcase with Elvis’s face on it.” Luhrmann’s movies are more spectacle than story, sure, but I feel he did right by Elvis. And nothing can compare to watching the sheer joy on my Dad’s face as he bopped his head along to the music and even sang under his breath.

Miracle Maddie

Maddie Girl’s had a busy week! She received a new ventilator, which is great because the old one wasn’t working and was keeping her from getting restful, restorative sleep at night. She had a visit from her friend Meilee and her family. Her brother Jonathan wanted to hold Meilee the whole time–how sweet!

Maddie also got her hand splints. She hates them, but they’re going to do her so much good! And they already have; check out how good those hands look! Maddie Girl continues to kill it during physical and occupational therapies, too!

She looks so good and she’s been staying healthy, so we are SO EXCITED for our upcoming trips to Monterrey in Mexico and the Austin Center for Developing Minds in Texas! We’re currently holding a specific fundraiser for our trip to Austin.

To participate in this fundraiser, all you need to do is pick a number to fill a box! When you choose your box, you’ll commit to donating that dollar amount towards Maddie’s upcoming therapy intensive with Dr. Crawford at the Austin Center for Developing Minds in Austin, Texas! When Maddie was last in Austin, we noticed her become more aware of and engaged with her surroundings which is CRUCIAL for her recovery! The office is so filled with hope and love; the whole family heals when we travel there!

There are THREE ways to claim your box: 1) Venmo the amount to @Melissa-Wagenhoffer-1, 2) Use Cash App: $MelissaWagenhoffer, 3) PayPal: john_wagenhoffer@yahoo.com

There are 10 gifts cards in mystery numbers throughout the chart—choose the right box and you could win a gift card for gas, to Amazon, Starbucks, and more! Any box with a sticker over it has already been claimed. Please consider donating today!

And to top it all off, Maddie must have known my book came out because she had to upstage. She said, “Hold my beer” and then tried to take steps in her stander during therapy! Check our girl out!

Watch Maddie try to take steps in her stander during therapy!

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