Mandi Bean's Blog, page 3

On finally coming back.

I’m Going Through Changes

I’ve been thinking about time a lot lately. Did you know it’s been six months since the last time I updated this blog? That seems like so much time; since November 1st, I’ve left my favorite place I’ve ever lived. Now I’m living with my incredibly generous aunt and uncle with the goal of saving enough for a place of my own. Whether I rent or own, I don’t care but I really feel like that small island is where I belong.

Money Problems

I haven’t been able to save much. In the month since I officially moved in, I caught up on all sorts of bills. But then I had to get my car towed. The repairs cost a couple of hundred dollars to fix so I felt like I was back at square one — financially, at least. I had to disappear from this blog for mainly financial reasons because I couldn’t afford maintaining this blog or the app that helped me post to social media. Sometimes, I couldn’t really afford groceries, either. I was dependent on generous donations from my parents.

But I will say that abject poverty helped me lose a substantial amount of weight. I’ve never felt more confident in my own skin. And people are noticing, which helps build my confidence. Since November 1st, I’ve lost 20 pounds, which brings the total to close to 40 pounds.

Unfortunately, I haven’t lost the weight of rejection. No success on finding a literary agent. I entered and lost a writing competition and did not earn a writing residency. My completed manuscript was sent to Berkley Open House Submissions. I’m not sure when I’ll hear back. As far as new material goes, aside from posting garbage confessional poetry throughout the month of April on Instagram, I’d have to admit I’m not writing as much as I’d like, or even reading as much as I’d like.

All this to say that I’m not really where I thought I would be at this stage of my life.

Time Won’t Give Me Time

I drove my friend to the airport the other day, and the trip brought me within spitting distance of my former residence. I had to drive by and take a peek at the place and it’s unrecognizable. The new owners redid nearly the entire house. I would have said they tore it down and started over if I didn’t know better, if I couldn’t spot the outside entrance to the basement. It looks beautiful and that’s what the house needed, but it makes me wonder about my life. What would it be like if I was still living there?

According to Time magazine in 2023, the average life expectancy for a woman living in the United States was close to 80 years. Not to be morbid or anything, but I’m nearing the halfway point of my life and it’s not what I thought it would be. I’m sure a lot of people feel that way, and I should feel comfort in that thought. But I’m just anxious. I always thought I’d be married with kids in a home with a white picket fence. I’ve published two books, but I’m not writing full-time, which I thought would be materializing in some way by now.

I’ve been asking myself, is this it?

My Summer Goal

This post isn’t fishing for reassurance or validation. It’s just purging thoughts that have been constant companions lately. And I’ve written about this before, how I’ve faced so much change in such a small amount of time. It’s like there’s this lingering resistance to acclimating to what my life is right here, right now.

But I don’t want to give up or give in. Just the other night, I was feeling infinitely youthful riding in the backseat of a car on one of the most beautiful days in recent memory. The windows were rolled down because the air conditioning was busted so the music had to be louder than the wind rushing through. And that wind rushing through made conversation impossible aside from shouted whispers with those sitting near. With my arm out the window riding the waves of the wind, and with my hair whipping around my face and getting stuck in the corners of my lips and in the mascara that made my eyelashes inky and sticky, I was finally out of my head and in the moment.

This summer, I’ll be chasing moments like that.

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Refreshing for NaNoWriMo

It’s November. It’s National Novel Writing Month. But I am not as excited as I should be.

Despite the optimistic tones and clear message of perseverance in my more recent blog posts, I have to admit: the rejections are getting to me. I’m trying to remind myself that it’s all part of the process and yadda, yadda, yadda, and blah, blah, blah. But I’ve also been wondering if I should change the ending of my manuscript. I let a colleague/avid reader read it nearly two months ago and she found me to tell me she’s still thinking about my story, which is a really good sign, and she said it needs to be published, which is another really good sign, so she suggested I change the ending. She suggested this because in our conversation, I told her about that one agent who seemed interested but confessed she’d had trouble selling a darkly themed novel and didn’t want to have our hearts broken.

Another colleague/friend/avid reader recently finished Moody Blue and had me sign her copy. It was flattering, and I was honored, and she told me she found the ending dissatisfying, that she wanted more, like a sequel.

But I internalized it differently than it was intended. The ending was no good? Does that mean all my endings are shit? Should I re-write the ending of Lightning Strikes and send it out to agents with the happier endings so it’ll be published? I’ve been grappling with those questions ever since I was living and writing in Ireland. Donal Ryan asked me the same thing: what would I do if a publisher said they’d publish it as long as I changed the ending?

I asked friends, both writers and non-writers, for advice. Two I respect the most gave me different answers.

Then, last night, I ordered Chinese food and binged watch half of the Netflix show “The Fall of the House of Usher” to celebrate Halloween. One of the fortunes in one of the fortune cookies was: Things are turning for the bright side.

And I received text messages from the colleague who read Moody Blue. I also sent along Lightning Strikes for honest feedback and constructive criticism. The messages read: “Amazingly written. Hauntingly beautiful. And you suck” because the ending is definitely a downer. The next string of messages read: “You are seriously talented my dear. And I’ve read a lot of fucking books. I loved it. Seriously. Deep. Dark. Haunting. Addicting.”

But my favorite message:

You obviously haven’t found the right publisher because that’s one of the best books I’ve read in a while.

Beta reader

So maybe — just maybe — NaNoWriMo is coming at the perfect time.

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How Do You Prepare for NaNoWriMo?

NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month, and it takes place every November. The next time I update this blog, it will literally be the first day of November and the first day of NaNoWriMo! Last year, this month helped me make real progress with my novel, and I’m confident that participating this year will help me really flesh out my story idea and get to some serious writing.

And the website has such amazing resources! They start offering courses and resources for preparation six weeks before November 1st so once the month starts, the focus can truly be the writing and your word count. They break down that time like this:

Week 1: Develop a Story IdeaWeek 2: Create Unique CharactersWeek 3: Construct a Detailed Plot or OutlineWeek 4: Build a Strong WorldWeek 5: Grow Your Writing CommunityWeek 6: Find and Manage Your TimeWeek 1: Develop a Story Idea

Luckily, I started my week one over the summer, while I was in Mexico with my sister and my niece for her treatment. I read two books for research and came up with a general premise.

A journalist decides to investigate a string of murders along a major interstate, embedding herself with a truck driver. Danger builds as they begin to unravel the mystery, ending in a life or death battle.

Premise for my next novel.

Week 2: Create Unique Characters

This is also something I was able to start while I was away in Mexico. The main character is a strong but embittered woman named Maddie who has had her heart absolutely shattered. She joins forces with a truck driver named Atticus Whiteaker, or Tic for short, to investigate a serial killer operating along a major interstate. I honestly think is one of the most interesting characters I’ve ever developed. I didn’t use this exact questionnaire that NaNoWriMo offers, but it’s a solid template for designing characters. I still need to flesh out my antagonists, which brings me to …

Week 3: Construct a Detailed Plot or Outline

This is not only where I am in my process, but where I’ve been stuck. I really, really need to devote consistent time to my writing (see Week 6). I’d be able to get into a flow if I knew the beats of my story, and I’d know the beats of my story if I finished a freaking outline. Nano Prep offers three templates to choose from: The Basics, An Outline, Tons O’ Structure. I really appreciate how NaNoWriMo has something for everyone, for every type of writer (not just novelists), all of the time (not just in November).

Week 4: Build a Strong World

The genre I prefer to work in doesn’t call for strong world-building, but those writing in science-fiction, horror, fantasy, etc. will definitely benefit from the resources NaNoWriMo offers. Again, they’re not catering to one type of writing; they’re totally inclusive and supremely supportive, which helps a writer to …

Week 5: Grow Your Writing Community

Luckily, I’ve been growing my writing community for some time. There are colleagues I regularly and routinely share my writing life with. I’m in two writing groups with my classmates from Ireland. And there are so many ways to find AND build your writing community through NaNoWriMo:

RSVP for virtual events hosted by NaNo HQ. Join your local region for in-person and virtual meet-ups. Discover community spaces near you that are hosting special events or open writing hours for NaNoWriMo writers. Connect with buddies on the NaNoWriMo site, or form your own writing group. Find more communities in the forums.Week 6: Find and Manage Your Time

This is where we currently are and where I’m about to be on the Nano Prep timeline. The website offers a quiz to help with scheduling. My results were:

Weekends are for writing.

Your weekday hours are claimed by work, school, or related tasks. How to make this writing thing work? Find smaller chunks of time to write during your busy days, and then stretch into more writing time on your days off. SUGGESTED STRUCTURE: Two 40-minute writing sessions every weekday, 6 hours of writing split between your days off. Remember that you’re only dedicating your days off for a month so that you can push yourself creatively. You can do this! SUGGESTED GOAL: 800 words every workday, 4,250 words on your days off. (If you’re shooting for 50,000 words.) TRY THIS: Leave a hook during your shorter writing sessions. Stop in the middle of a scene, or even a sentence, so that you can dive right into the thick of things when you begin again.

My quiz results.

The additional resources for Week 6 look fantastic; I just haven’t had the time to dive into them just yet. But be prepared: this blog is about to turn into a NaNoWriMo devotional! Come on this journey with me

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Is 100 Rejections a Crazy Goal?

Fail, fail again, fail better.

Samuel Beckett

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Not to beat a dead horse, but I’m still writing about rejections. However, it’s not all doom and gloom; rejection can, in fact, lead to opportunities. In being rejected by agent after agent, and thereby writing about rejection on this blog and doing research in order to write about rejection, I came across this Lit Hub article.

And it completely changed my way of thinking about my recent tidal wave of rejection.

Kim Liao’s words had a profound effect on me. She writes about rejections from literary magazines, residencies, and fellowships. She also mentions applying for grants and pitching articles. That immediately helped me realize I was putting too much emphasis on literary agents because there are so many other ways to expand and develop my writing life.

Literary Magazines
Poets & Writers has a complete and comprehensive list with editorial policies, submission guidelines, and contact information so your writing can find the perfect home. Their search option includes filters to find magazines with reading periods that are open now or opening soon (within the next thirty days) and that accept unsolicited submissions. Having work readily available for an audience is a key part in gaining success as a writer, and literary magazines are an excellent tool to do that. Publishing credits are also a huge bonus to list in a query letter and establish your credibility as a writer.
Residencies
Poets & Writers also has a database for writing residencies. A residency offers writers time and space away from their everyday lives in order to focus solely on reflection and creativity. Some residencies can be expensive, and some are super competitive, but there are many residencies to look into. The Write Life has a list of 34 residencies which features opportunities with a more inclusive application process.
Grants and Fellowships
One of the biggest, most impactful stressors in my life that truly impedes my creative process is … money. Applying for grants and fellowships can help ease the burden by funding a writing project. For example, The National Endowment for the Arts Literature Fellowships program offers $25,000 grants in prose (fiction and creative nonfiction) and poetry to published creative writers that enable the recipients to set aside time for writing, research, travel, and general career advancement. The awards alternate yearly between prose and poetry, but grants are always available to help ease the financial burden the writing life can sometimes pose.But why 100?

“…because if you work that hard to get so many rejections, you’re sure to get a few acceptances, too.” And even if it’s not an acceptance, sometimes a personalized, encouraging rejection can be “…better for the soul than acceptance.” I still have my email from Tom Strelich and I’ve been adding comments to my Google Sheet of rejections to commemorate encouraging rejections.

Have you heard of the book Art & Fear by David Bales and Ted Orland? I hadn’t before the Lit Hub article and now I’m determined to read it and annotate the hell out of it. They describe a ceramics class where half the students were asked to focus on producing a lot of pieces while the other half were asked to turn in one perfect piece. According to Liao’s retelling, “Surprisingly, the works of highest quality came from the group being graded on quantity, because they had continually practiced, churned out tons of work, and learned from their mistakes.” There’s a lot to be learned from the results of the class for all creative types, not just writers. To hone your craft, you have to produce; seems simple enough.

And submitting work frequently helps get you in the habit of submitting, of facing rejection, and of persevering. Not to sound too philosophical or phony, but I do fully agree with Liao when she writes, “…I am happiest when I am writing, not when I am being read.” Keeping up with the writing schedule is paramount, and committing to 100 rejections a year can help spur on that work ethic.

I think I found my resolution for the new year.

Recommended Reading:On Writing by Stephen KingBird by Bird by Anne Lamott

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What’s the Newest Trend in Publishing?

There might be something very exciting on the horizon, according to an industry insider…

Recently, I received yet another rejection for representation for my completed manuscript, Lightning Strikes. But I’m handling it well (or at least better than expected) for two main reasons:

That Lit Hub article by Emily Temple that I wrote about last week clearly states: “If you’re a writer, here’s an idea: resolve to get rejected. 100 times this year, if you’re lucky. After all, some very famous books (and authors) began their careers at the bottom of the NO pile.” And that rejection officially puts me halfway toward that goal.The rejection was nice. The literary agent wrote, “Ultimately, though, I didn’t connect quite strongly enough with the project elements here to pursue—it’s intelligent and well-presented, but, missing that instant connection, I’ve decided to pass, but with much appreciation for the read!” She admitted the process is entirely subjective, but admitted my presentation of my intelligent was well done. That gives me hope that something will give soon as long as I keep trying because it really is about finding the *right* agent.

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know how I feel about Chuck Palahniuk. He’s a hero of mine and I’ve actually come to see him as a kind of distant mentor. While I was earning my Master’s degree in Creative Writing at the University of Limerick, I discovered Palahniuk’s newsletter and Substack, the latter which operated as another MFA program. I learned loads and he continues to deliver.

In the most recent edition of his newsletter, Palahniuk writes:

Recently I’ve been approached by retired editors who are looking to put together some (frankly) dazzling projects. They’re outside the strictures of Big Publishing. They know the best talent. They love the game of collaboration. These stealth editors are equivalent to independent movie producers not attached to any studio, but who package talent and build projects. And these aren’t the seasonal flood of beach books or Christmas books. These boutique projects are one-offs that combine the best of the best talent-wise, and that get the full attention of everyone contributing.

Chuck Palahniuk

Basically, the business model for publishing is changing. It’s looking more like the movie business, where big studios aren’t necessary for talent to be discovered. The big publishing houses are no longer the end-all and be-all of breaking into the literary world, according to Palahniuk. “Working with people who genuinely love to create great books. Lifelong professionals who have the time to coach writers and get every detail perfect.”

My plan is to keep sending out my intelligent, well-presented queries to agents. The more agents who read it, become aware of it, the better the chance it becomes a topic of conversation and maybe, just maybe, I benefit from this new business model Palahniuk seems so excited about. A recently retired agent could get wind of my project and decide it’s the perfect one to become one of “These boutique projects [that] are one-offs that combine the best of the best talent-wise, and that get the full attention of everyone contributing.”

I’ll be sure to keep you updated. Meanwhile, my latest project is slow going. I think I’ll take the time this rainy weekend to park myself in a bookstore/cafe and just write and write and write.

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How Much Rejection is Too Much?

I’ve been thinking A LOT about rejection lately; generally because I haven’t landed a literary agent yet, and specifically because I recently received the tersest, apathetic rejection I have ever received. It was one line. All it said was, “Not for me–thanks anyway.” I suppose I should be grateful I even received a response, but it felt like a punch in the gut after all the work I spent in not only polishing the manuscript, but in drafting the query letter and personalizing it, and doing my due diligence in research, and in spending every Saturday morning sending letters to at least five agents at a time.

Thus, it seems very serendipitous that I joined another writing group with some course mates from the Master’s program in Ireland. Jane, who I lovingly call “the girl boss,” got us all organized. It’s been decided we’ll meet virtually on the first Sunday of every month and discuss upcoming writing opportunities and critique each other’s work and devote time to writing by using prompts. I felt like a real writer, like I’ll be getting somewhere soon.

I told my writing friends about the rejection and we told each other nearly every success story begins with many rejections; sometimes, many, many, many rejections. I was Googling to find a link about famous rejections to share in the chat when I came across this LitHub piece.

Did you know the most rejected book of all time (according to this list, anyway) is a book called Irish Wine by Dick Wimmer?

If you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know I’m a firm believer in seeing signs and symbols. Naturally, I found it not much of a coincidence that the first novel had an Irish connection. As I kept scrolling, I found another.

MY DISSERTATION SUPERVISOR? One of the most talented writers I’ve ever had the immense pleasure of reading? Doesn’t seem possible.

Needless to say, as I scrolled through the list, I felt relieved I was in good company (Stephen King, Samuel Beckett, William Golding, and James Joyce all made the list). Most of the stories end in success because the writer never gave up. Some self-published and gained some notoriety which enticed agents and/or editors, while others just keep plugging away.

Maybe once I pass 162 rejections, I’ll rethink my strategy. But for now, I’m going to keep on keepin’ on.

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How Does Music Shape Our Memories?

I didn’t freak out about turning 35. I know this blog’s absence for a week and my protestations seem to prove otherwise, but I promise. I was really okay about turning 35.

I don’t know why I’m using past tense because I am still okay with my age. But, that being said, I think the greatest part about my birthday was the day after, when I felt 15 again.

I know there’s already been a plethora of reviews of Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service playing Madison Square Garden for two sold-out nights last week, and nearly every single one mentioned “millennial.” To be fair, both bands were playing from albums released twenty years so nostalgia was inevitable.

But it was more than memory. I swear, I was actually transported back to my friend Alison’s living room, sitting on a slightly uncomfortable wooden chair at her oversized computer desk while she played me the latest and greatest emo songs of 2003. There was a rapidly cooling pizza from Domino’s on the table, lid carelessly thrown back and forgotten, and the sunlight of late afternoon came in hot and strong through her sliding glass door that showed her backyard. I remember those sights, those smells, those feelings but I relived them when Death Cab for Cutie played “Transatlanticism” from start to finish.

Alison told me “We Looked Like Giants” would change my life, and she wasn’t kidding. Dancing in the aisle at Madison Square Garden, clutching a wildly overpriced White Claw, I felt 15 and invincible. I was filled with the hope of all the “firsts” of my life that were surely coming down the pike.

And I know I wasn’t alone.

This ability of music to conjure up vivid memories is a phenomenon well known to brain researchers. It can trigger intense recollections from years past — for many, more strongly than other senses such as taste and smell — and provoke strong emotions from those earlier experiences.

The Washington Post

There’s been loads and loads of research concerning music and its effect on the brain. The Washington Post looked at several small studies to better elucidate the effect music has on a particular part of the brain: memory. Memory starts with the hippocampus. The hippocampus connects all the different parts of a memory, like the sights and sounds and smells and emotions and thoughts. Those are all “represented by a pattern of neural activity in different parts of the cortex, the outer surface of the brain.” Once the connection is made, the memory can be consolidated and the hippocampus is no longer needed. That’s why Tony Bennet, even when he was suffering from Alzheimer’s, could still remember the music and lyrics to his classic songs. He heard them over and over and performed them again and again, so those memories were consolidated and stored. So even though Alzheimer’s attacks the hippocampus, the long-term memory is safe.

The scientists asked participants about each stimulus and to describe any “autobiographical” memories inspired by the exposure. “The music prompted much more detailed memories than the faces,” she says. “We found from this study that music tends to be associated with personal memories from life.”

The Washington Post

Research is more than supporting the use of music in cognitive therapy. Listening to music has many different positive affects on the brain. When Maddie was first hospitalized after her nonfatal drowning, they said we should play music for Maddie. My sisters and I all worked on a Spotify playlists for Maddie to listen to when she was relaxing or working hard at therapy.

I have experienced first hand the way music can bring back vivid memories, and that’s why it’s a useful tool in my writing. Writers write what they know, and I know my life has a soundtrack. Everyone (or nearly everyone) listens to music, so the universality in the act bridges the gap between me and a reader. If I reference a song and the reader knows it, it’s like sharing an inside joke.

If I want to evoke a particular mood in a scene, I’ll listen to music while I write that helps create that mood. The song will conjure up images, sounds, smells, tastes, and that will help me create strong sensual imagery that makes the reading experience more intense and thereby enjoyable for the reader.

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What Can Be Learned from Chuck Palahniuk?

A whole hell of a lot, actually.

I’ve written about Chuck Palahniuk before on this blog. He’s an enormously talented writer who has had a profound impact on my personal and professional life. He just published a new book, Not Forever, But For Now, and is currently on what is sure to be one hell of a book tour. What can I say? I love the man.

As a result, I subscribe to his Substack. Let me tell you, it is a treasure trove of information for a writer.

Dangerous Writing?

The latest Palahniuk newsletter is all about “dangerous writing,” a term his mentor, Tom Spanbauer, coined. It’s also the name of Spanbauer’s ongoing weekly critique group.

Palahniuk begins with an anecdote about a conversation he’d had with Max Brooks about his best-selling novel, World War Z. Palahniuk rightly inferred the novel wasn’t entirely about zombies, but about the author’s mother’s battle with cancer.

… a writer had to explore an unresolved personal issue that couldn’t be resolved.  A death, for instance.  Something that seemed personally dangerous to delve into. 

Chuck Palahniuk

Palahniuk offers another example: Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice. Rice wrote the bestseller while her young daughter was being treated for juvenile leukemia. Their day-to-day lives were consumed by blood: blood tests, blood draws, blood counts. Faced with the horror of the situation, Rice wrote through it by using vampires as a metaphor. This is dangerous writing.

Palahniuk explains the metaphor is perfect because not only does it allow others into a writer’s story without a grisly, traumatic prerequisite, but it also prevents the writer from fully facing the uncomfortable, tragic, personal issue. He explains, “By doing so the writer could exaggerate and vent and eventually exhaust the pain or fear around the issue, and that gradual relief would keep the writer coming back to work on the project despite no promise of a book contract or money or a readership.” 

 As a writer, I’ve dealt with this notion before. I had hard and fast rules to avoid dangerous writing. However, working on my fourth manuscript and attempting to gain literary representation for my third manuscript, I’ve come to this realization: dangerous writing is unavoidable. The pain finds its way in. Re-reading Moody Blue, I realize it’s really about a heartbreak from which I’d never recover, a heartbreak I vowed never to write about again — but there it is, all the same.

In true Palahniuk fashion, he continues the metaphor of painful, dangerous writing to an extreme and unpleasant image (in his defense, Spanbauer started it). When a writer consciously sets about dangerous writing with clear intention, writing a first draft is like “Shitting out the lump of coal.”  Palahniuk further explains the first draft is slow and painful.  “Even using the best metaphor in the world, Dangerous Writing requires long chunks of isolation.  The isolation is the least of it.  But at least when the draft is done you feel relief.  It’s your shit.  Since we’re on the subject, everyone’s shit smells good to them because it’s the smell of relief.  Proof the pain is gone.”

 It’s the unresolvable pain that brings you back to the task of writing.  And it’s not important that anyone ever recognize your secret pain. 

Chuck Palahniuk

I’ve written about writing as a therapeutic outlet before, but after reading Palahniuk’s latest Substack, I believe that if you write long enough, intention becomes inconsequential. It’s such a personal act that no matter how hard a writer may try, they’ll be all over the manuscript. Their personal defeats and unfulfilled desires and regrets will be in every carefully chosen word. It can be cleverly hidden and disguised as metaphor, but that doesn’t mean the “unresolvable pain” isn’t there.

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Was Jack Kerouac Full of It?

Jack Kerouac makes a funny face while walking through the Lower East Side along East 7th Street, past a statue of Samuel Cox in Tompkins Square. (Photo by © Allen Ginsberg/CORBIS/Corbis via Getty Images)On the Road Again

Sorry for the hiatus. I left Florida last Monday, got to New Jersey on Tuesday, and was fairly busy until now. Well, I’m still busy, but there’s more of an order to the chaos now.

When I got back to Jersey, I stayed with close friends until I could move back into my rental. It was a hard and heavy summer, so it felt incredible to cross the state line into Jersey and have my phone blow up with friends asking if I was home yet and asking to make plans.

I used to think I’d wanna just drive and travel forever and ever, amen. For a long time, nothing sounded better than hotels and fast food and logging miles. Life would be one big adventure composed of entertaining anecdotes and scenic routes.

But coming home felt really good.

It would have been even better if I had a more permanent rental instead of just a seasonal one. I might rediscover my love of traveling and being on the road if it was my choice when these excursions took place.

Planning a Road Trip

I’m thinking it’s best if I just make peace with being transitory for the foreseeable future. Despite all my protestations about hitting the road, I’m currently planning a road trip with some writer friends for next summer. In the beginning of July, we want to go from New Jersey to California. It’s about a year away, but I am so excited. These people are sources of support and inspiration and I love them dearly. I can’t wait to spend time with them.

And I’ve finally started a new writing project which predominantly takes place on a cross country road trip. I’m eager to be inspired and give my prose some authenticity.

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

I need to mention a couple of seminal moments that recently happened. One is that I saw Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band at Metlife Stadium. I missed Jersey so much, so it was one hell of a homecoming. The tickets were a graduation gift from a beloved friend and colleague. It was a beautiful, breezy night and even though it was my ninth time seeing the Boss, it felt just as magical as the first time.

Tattoos

I think it’s fairly obvious that, as a writer and English teacher, I firmly believe in the importance of words. Upon coming home, I got three tattoos, two of which are words: “Where there’s life, there’s hope” (for my niece) and “I’ll love you with all the madness in my soul” (Bruce Springsteen lyrics). I have plans for two more tattoos and have officially embarked on a mission to fill my body with poetry.

I told my writer friend of this ambition, and they said my body was already poetry. Do you see why I need to take a road trip with them??!!?!

Writing Life

I’ve been continuing to be rejected by literary agents, but the other night, I was at a bridal shower for a coworker. Another coworker approached me, somewhat hesitantly, because she’d finished Moody Blue and wanted to tell me how much I’d grown as a writer since Her Beautiful Monster, but she was afraid I’d be offended.

I struggled to tell her how happy her comment made me. I was so worried readers wouldn’t like Moody Blue as much as my first novel, and the opposite appears to be true. I’ve had multiple readers tell me how much better I’ve gotten as a writer.

That takes the sting out of the rejections.

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It’s Tough Times for Writers

And there’s proof.

I’ve been receiving rejection after rejection after rejection from literary agents. It’s been tough; it’s been a litany of defeats without even the smallest victory. I’ve been open about my journey via my blog and other social media platforms, so a lot of my friends and colleagues know what I’m going through, and all of them are so supportive. One such friend, a writer named Jill Ocone who’s going to have her first novel Enduring the Waves published in November, sent me this picture:

I was rejected by this very agent last month.

It’s a relief to know I’m not the only writer being buried under an onslaught of rejections. The whole process is incredibly subjective to begin with, and that’s before the extenuating circumstances Lauren Spieller comments on in the thread: book sales being down overall, so agents are having trouble selling books they’ve already agreed to represent, and thus have to be especially picky about new projects.

Some of those who replied to the Tweet mentioned giving up, mentioned stop querying agents altogether, and to be honest, I was thinking the same thing.

But then I saw this quote from James Baldwin about endurance. I’m confident I’m a talented writer and I cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am of Lightning Strikes. It is the best story I’ve ever written, hands down. It would be a mistake to stop now.

And for further confirmation, the homily at Mass on Sunday was all about perseverance.

How to Persevere as a Writer

I’m working hard to keep the faith in a season of “no”s, and I found this website that offers some great tips to persevere as a writer:

Form a writing habit
You’ve got to sit at the desk regularly — every day, if you can. You have to show up and get the writing done. Bad writing can always be edited, but no writing remains just that: a blank page. Showing up every day also helps build dedication to the craft, which in turns helps facilitate perseverance.
Gather the right tools
There are certain tools every writer needs: A word processing program (like Microsoft Word or Google Docs); a journal; a blank piece of paper; a notebook; a pen/pencil; a keyboard. Recently, I read that Quentin Tarantino handwrites his first drafts because he likes the ceremony of it, the ritual of it. I wrote my first novel, Her Beautiful Monster, by hand. I moved away from that process with my second novel, Moody Blue, but came back to it for Lightning Strikes.

I definitely prefer handwriting my drafts. It frees me from the distractions of the internet and the dilemma of having a low battery with no place to plug up. I bring a journal and pens with me wherever I go.
Keep your writing dates
This is about more than just making a writing schedule and sticking to it. Writing sessions should be romanticized, and by that, I mean they should be treated like dates. Get dressed up (which could be your favorite comfy clothes or your best writerly-looking getup). Include a meal (or just some tea and snacks). Go out (take yourself to a diner or cafe or the local library — being around others can keep writing from being so isolating and can lead to inspiration).
Do writing sprints
If you’re stuck, or super busy because life gets in the way, just set a 10-minute timer and do the best you can. Or set a goal of 300 or 500 words. Some days, the words might come easy but other days, it could take an hour just to get 300 words.
Connect with other authors
I have writer friends from all over that I still talk to; it’s one thing social media has been great for. There are hashtags you can follow to connect with other writers. On Twitter (now X): #amwriting; #writerslife; #authorlife; #aspiringauthor; #writerproblems; #[yourgenre]writer. On Instagram: #amwriting; #writerslife; #[yourgenre]writer; #writerprobs, #writerproblems; #writersofig, #writersofinsta; #writersofinstagram. On Facebook: #amwriting; #writerslife; #[yourgenre]writer; #writerprobs, #writerproblems. All these hashtags can be modified for any social media platform.
Be kind to yourself
Instead of assuming you’re a talentless hack with no shot, try taking a deep breath and giving yourself some love. This is easier said than done. I’m still working on it myself.

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