Jennifer F. Netto's Blog, page 9

The Greatest Love Of All?

The late Whitney didn't just sing a song to that title rather she brought out the most significant shift to everyone's life back in 1986. Who best to love you than yourself? Whose love is most important in your life than your own? Sadly somehow it was easier to sing the song and hit the charts rather than practicing it in reality given the fact that she died of OD (May her soul rest in peace)!

However, I'm not writing in context of the late Queen of Pop but to highlight this quote I got from Oprah's website OWN by Brenè Brown:

"Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them."
You understand that I'm sure? It simply means you can't give or get love if you first didn’t have love existing in you!

Coincidentally, I also stumbled upon a quote on Goodreads yesterday by the famous Rumi that said -

  "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
How important is it that we first love ourselves before falling in love with another?
I was told by a psychologist friend of mine that you draw positive vibes only when you embrace positivity in yourself, hence a relationship can only work if both involved in it love themselves well enough to actually nurture that love for their partner thus creating a relationship that's balanced and enriching for each other.


There are many out there who fail to break the barriers within themselves before trying to find love outside their vessel. For those of you who wonder why you can’t find love, I would say there are probably three possibilities to that:i) You don't love yourself enough to think you deserve love in return!ii) You love yourself too much to allow another who lacks love in them to ruin you!iii) You love yourself too much that you don’t believe anyone else is humanly worthy of you!

I personally believe no one can truly love another until and unless they have love in their own heart and that loving yourself is by far the greatest gift you can ever give to yourself! No I'm not saying this because I sang Whitney's song on stage in front of a hundred people when I was 12 but because I personally have this experience to stand by this notion! Those who couldn’t show love for me didn’t have love in themselves to begin with, and I couldn’t nurture one with them because it takes two to tango..REMEMBER??? I didn’t have enough patients to allow myself the time to see others change, so I move on. I leave them be. I choose to continue my life even if they refused to live theirs. I am the (ii) point above!

Don’t get me wrong ha! Loving yourself doesn’t mean being self absorbed with your own being! It’s embracing this intense feeling of deep affection for yourself.

This is tough to handle but somehow I think that if you possess love within you, your love will be a radiant light of hope for others to emulate. When you have love within you, you will shine and that light will dawn on others as a sign of what is missing in them. Love is powerful, and it is contagious. It is uplifting and it is joyful. Love makes the world go round!
So go ahead.. Listen to her song and contemplate on your life! Work on the most important area of your existence - loving yourself and the rest will fall in place!!

Don’t Butcher Her Hair!

 I honestly had a tough time coming up with a title for this post of mine but I seriously need to ask this - why do mothers butcher their girl's hair in the name of a solution to dandruff problem?

Allow me to brief you on this one point - many things crop up for me while waiting in my son's Kumon class every Fridays. Today I noticed this 14 year old girl who had such lovely mid length hair standing in front of me looking drastically different. Short, bushy, dry and out of control. Yes they are the same adjectives I would use for describing a lion's mane.

I smiled at her and asked if she had cut her hair (Obviously I knew she did but I don't know why I have this thing in me to open my mouth and say something as if it's most appropriate to utter a word or two along with a smile to someone I see every Fridays).

She replies “YES" and her answer was instantly accompanied by her mum's question - "Which look is better on her?"

Damn!!! Must you ask me? Diplomacy seemed to have vanished in me at that point and so I replied, "I think your long hair suited you better." (Of course!!! If you had seen the cut you would wonder who to slap, the mother or the hair dresser, and don't get me wrong, I have no prejudice against the length of a woman's hair as I for one had my hair short but stylish I must add (Alleluia for having a wonderful mom) for most of my growing years!

Her mum replied in defence to her butchery, "A lot of dandruff lar on her head! I had no choice but to cut her hair."

In my head I replied - "like that? Have you no sense of style at all? You made her look like a male lioness!! Yeah it's impossible genetically but with a bad choice for a haircut that’s achievable, plus a horrid haircut can destroy a young girl's self confidence!!"

Anyway, as the above remained in my head, my mouth vocalised a more constructive reply - "So has cutting her hair solved the problem?" To which the answer was undoubtedly a "NO", I went on saying, "Well of course not! Lengthy hair is not the cause of dandruff.. It's the pH of your scalp as well as the stress level that increases the problem. (Don't get me started about stress level - this poor girl has a lot to deal with, with her mother alone who constantly condemns her in various ways, matter and manner. I know this because those condemnations are the highlight of her mum's Friday conversations here in the Kumon waiting area and I always answer in defence of her daughter! I wonder if anyone else sees that lady’s narcissism!!)

I further said to her to use Sunsilk Anti Dandruff Shampoo, Conditioner and the leave-in lotion is a must for it works wonders. Read my post on it and you'll understand my stand on this:  http://www.jfnetto.com/2011/06/taming-wild.html?m=1

As soon as both mother and daughter walked out, I heard the girl say to her mum, "See I told you my long hair had nothing to do with it and I looked better with my hair long!!!"

Oooopssss! LOL..

Escaping Alcatraz - The Malaysian AES!

My drive from PD fetching my husband back home on the North-South Expressway in a rainy night 2 weeks ago, caught me by a shock when I decided to overtake a Hilux that was driving horridly slow in the middle lane. 
As I placed my right side signal light, changed my lane and increased my acceleration to over take the snail, 3 lightening flashes from the left snapped me one shot after another. I was shocked and at a brief second, panicked and stared out of the car wondering what the hack that was! 
It was the new MALAYSIAN AES speed cameras!
GOOD CHRIST!!!
Are those cameras suppose to catch those who are speeding or to take photos of those who are speeding and ultimately causing a FATAL ACCIDENT????????
I did not have the slightest clue they had placed those cameras at that particular point and thank God I have a strong control of the wheel! No wonder everyone was driving so slowly at that point. So much so yesterday when we had to drive the same route back home, and when my husband asked why is every one slowing down? I told him.. We are reaching ALCATRAZ!!!
Those flashes were blinding, shocking and disturbing!!!
If I had no sense of control, I would have easily made the system work against its supposed purpose.
3 FLASHES OF LIGHT???? SERIOUSLY????
I felt as if lights were flashed on me in my attempt to escape Alcatraz!!!
I can only imagine my face in those shots.. LOL (yes I’m laughing because I hope my face tells the authorities that they have abused me!!)
A fine of RM300 non negotiable is my penalty I heard.. well.. I was overtaking a snail.. and I did the entire Alcatraz Escape with my signal light on.. so if that is an offence.. then we will see what I do with that when I get to that juncture.

I think this system is very bad! What is the point of putting this speed cameras at a point where everyone knows its there, people will speed else where and behave at that stretch alone wouldn’t they? I have driven in Singapore so many times and they have this fixed speed cameras by the side of their roads as well.. but those don’t blind you to kill you! How come? Can someone tell me what I’m missing to understand here?
I suddenly prefer seeing our traffic police being bushmen at duty at least that’s not going to kill you!!

Remember Me?

I had a rather weird experience last week.
Saw a person I knew from my hometown on FB and decided to request for friends. After almost 2 weeks plus from when the request was made, she accepted my request and then over the chat upon me messaging first, she tells me she has no clue who I am!
WOW! I was seriously shocked to my marrow on her loss of memory!
A person whom back then (approximately 15 years ago I should say) would come around me and start conversations which I did positively engage in, who told me once that I inspire her, who claimed admired me and wished I were her older sister - suddenly has no recollection of who I was shockingly startled me. I am certain by the words of many and my with my own eyes that I have not changed in my facial appearance, and socially I have been active in church activities where by this person had no reason to have not seen me after school years.

So what is the reason then?
Can a person truly truly have such an amnesia?
Or is this amnesia one out of choice? But if so, why accept on FB..right?
To those I have shared this with, they told me this is a complete act!
It’s impossible for anyone to have forgotten a person even after trying so hard to light a spark unless they have a medical condition.

Anyway... I guess that’s all to it then..
If one doesn’t remember you anymore, you should just let them go.

Queue Up Not Glue Up!

Have you ever had to experience being in a queue and the person behind you seem to be in some idiotic rush? Pushing and glueing themselves into you?
 Well, if I’m asking you then you can surely guess why! Today at the movies, queuing up to get some popcorn, I just had to have a woman behind me that glued herself to my back, pushing my handbag forward almost every 5 seconds and for what? I have no clue! It’s not like the counter is going to drive away or we need to stick our face up another person’s arse to make space for the queue that’s unfortunately getting longer, right? In my irritation I spoke out loudly saying, IT’S QUEUE UP NOT GLUE UP LARRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Of late funny lines verbalise itself out of me in my height of irritation.. Well it made my sister laugh and me too of course.. It is so blardy annoying to be in such a close proximity with a stranger, and all my experiences of such is with women older than me! Nooooo I’m not going to feel any different in fact must madder if it were a man!
It did cross my mind to take a step back, plunging my heels into her foot to teach her a lesson.. but my conscience didn’t approve it!
Haiyah!!!
Anyway.. The good thing that came out of this is this saying I guess..
So remember fellow earthlings in a queue.... QUEUE UP, NOT GLUE UP!!!! Okay?!

Queue Up Not Glue Up!

Have you ever had to experience being in a queue and the person behind you seem to be in some idiotic rush? Pushing and glueing themselves into you?
 Well, if I’m asking you then you can surely guess why! Today at the movies, queuing up to get some popcorn, I just had to have a woman behind me that glued herself to my back, pushing my handbag forward almost every 5 seconds and for what? I have no clue! It’s not like the counter is going to drive away or we need to stick our face up another person’s arse to make space for the queue that’s unfortunately getting longer, right? In my irritation I spoke out loudly saying, IT’S QUEUE UP NOT GLUE UP LARRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Of late funny lines verbalise itself out of me in my height of irritation.. Well it made my sister laugh and me too of course.. It is so blardy annoying to be in such a close proximity with a stranger, and all my experiences of such is with women older than me! Nooooo I’m not going to feel any different in fact must madder if it were a man!
It did cross my mind to take a step back, plunging my heels into her foot to teach her a lesson.. but my conscience didn’t approve it!
Haiyah!!!
Anyway.. The good thing that came out of this is this saying I guess..
So remember fellow earthlings in a queue.... QUEUE UP, NOT GLUE UP!!!! Okay?!

First International Day of the Girl Child

11th of October has been declared as  International Day of The Girl Child focussing its first year into observance to ending ‘child marriages’.

All my growing years I have watched such ridiculous child marriages shown in movies and dramas on the TV and have heard stories from neighbors about girls as young as 13 and 14 being married off to older men to ease the financial burden of her family. BURDEN? I have asked my mum, is that the purpose of marriage? To ease a parent’s burden? Her reply was that’s how little the parents of those girls know! They don’t understood the value of education in a girl, and the burden that can be eased off of their shoulder if their daughters were given a chance to work and be someone. If independence to her life was given priority. How much more would the family gain from their daughter if they had placed her rights above all else.

Personally I knew of a girl back in school, who came from a poverty striken family. She was made to be married off almost immediately after SPM (age17) because her parents could not afford to put her for tertiary education. But is marriage the answer to such a situation? Getting their daughters to be married to men who are poorly educated or not at all and have their girls be treated like trash by their supposed husbands who come back drunk and insist of SEX? Who have no regards for raising their own children? 
I believe once such a cycle exist, that drive to do the same to their own young will continue unless, the young mother decides to put an end to such vicious decisions on their own girls! 
Malaysia may be modern and advanced, but sadly, child marriages still exist and in recent statistics, it is on the rise! What’s the excuse for such an act now? Financial burden? Child with acts of promiscuity? 
Mind sets need to be changed! The fact of the matter is, it is not the men who truly discriminate women, but women themselves who discriminate their own gender that has caused such a devastating scenario for the female race! 
Ladies who ill treat their daughters and look at them as nothing more than a object for marriage, mothers who have no guts to stand up against their abusive idiotic husbands who think the girl should be given away to another man, women who think they need to have their daughters married off ASAP so that their duty as a mother is obligated! As long as women such as these exist, women who do not know how to protect their own girls, and the girls around them by prioritizing their needs and rights as a HUMAN and not as an OBJECT, child marriages can never be put into the grave! 
Women who are mothers, sisters, aunts, teachers, neighbors, and friends must make this first change! Protect the rights of the girls around you!! If you have been abused of your own rights..you can put an end to it - don’t give a deaf ear or a blind eye to those who are going to end up like you.. you should be the living example of what you don’t want your own child or the child of another to be! 
The Girl - The Gift!

A girl is gift to humanity,She is the one who brings life into the world,The one who cares and gives more than she ever knew she could,The one who deserves to own her rights and have her rights protected for her!
A girl is the light to her family,A being whom like a boy deserves to be someone,She deserves happiness and joy,She deserves friends and an education,She deserves to have her parents' love even after her wings take their first flight alone!
A girl’s marriage is not a license to freedom!Her marriage is not the broom to sweep your burdens away!Her marriage is a commitment! A commitment she makes when she is ready to make it!For marriage is a journey that is not marked on a map..It is not a resort for washing of hands!For even a married daughter needs her parents to protect her, From the possible viciousness and vices  of the man who may even have married her for her love! As a parent, you are never free from your responsibilities towards your girl, unless death takes you away from her,For your girl is a gift, to you and humanity!She is a gift to herself! 
JFN

First International Day of the Girl Child

11th of October has been declared as  International Day of The Girl Child focussing its first year into observance to ending ‘child marriages’.

All my growing years I have watched such ridiculous child marriages shown in movies and dramas on the TV and have heard stories from neighbors about girls as young as 13 and 14 being married off to older men to ease the financial burden of her family. BURDEN? I have asked my mum, is that the purpose of marriage? To ease a parent’s burden? Her reply was that’s how little the parents of those girls know! They don’t understood the value of education in a girl, and the burden that can be eased off of their shoulder if their daughters were given a chance to work and be someone. If independence to her life was given priority. How much more would the family gain from their daughter if they had placed her rights above all else.

Personally I knew of a girl back in school, who came from a poverty striken family. She was made to be married off almost immediately after SPM (age17) because her parents could not afford to put her for tertiary education. But is marriage the answer to such a situation? Getting their daughters to be married to men who are poorly educated or not at all and have their girls be treated like trash by their supposed husbands who come back drunk and insist of SEX? Who have no regards for raising their own children? 
I believe once such a cycle exist, that drive to do the same to their own young will continue unless, the young mother decides to put an end to such vicious decisions on their own girls! 
Malaysia may be modern and advanced, but sadly, child marriages still exist and in recent statistics, it is on the rise! What’s the excuse for such an act now? Financial burden? Child with acts of promiscuity? 
Mind sets need to be changed! The fact of the matter is, it is not the men who truly discriminate women, but women themselves who discriminate their own gender that has caused such a devastating scenario for the female race! 
Ladies who ill treat their daughters and look at them as nothing more than a object for marriage, mothers who have no guts to stand up against their abusive idiotic husbands who think the girl should be given away to another man, women who think they need to have their daughters married off ASAP so that their duty as a mother is obligated! As long as women such as these exist, women who do not know how to protect their own girls, and the girls around them by prioritizing their needs and rights as a HUMAN and not as an OBJECT, child marriages can never be put into the grave! 
Women who are mothers, sisters, aunts, teachers, neighbors, and friends must make this first change! Protect the rights of the girls around you!! If you have been abused of your own rights..you can put an end to it - don’t give a deaf ear or a blind eye to those who are going to end up like you.. you should be the living example of what you don’t want your own child or the child of another to be! 
The Girl - The Gift!

A girl is gift to humanity,She is the one who brings life into the world,The one who cares and gives more than she ever knew she could,The one who deserves to own her rights and have her rights protected for her!
A girl is the light to her family,A being whom like a boy deserves to be someone,She deserves happiness and joy,She deserves friends and an education,She deserves to have her parents' love even after her wings take their first flight alone!
A girl’s marriage is not a license to freedom!Her marriage is not the broom to sweep your burdens away!Her marriage is a commitment! A commitment she makes when she is ready to make it!For marriage is a journey that is not marked on a map..It is not a resort for washing of hands!For even a married daughter needs her parents to protect her, From the possible viciousness and vices  of the man who may even have married her for her love! As a parent, you are never free from your responsibilities towards your girl, unless death takes you away from her,For your girl is a gift, to you and humanity!She is a gift to herself! 
JFN

First International Day of the Girl Child

11th of October has been declared as  International Day of The Girl Child focussing its first year into observance to ending ‘child marriages’.

All my growing years I have watched such ridiculous child marriages shown in movies and dramas on the TV and have heard stories from neighbors about girls as young as 13 and 14 being married off to older men to ease the financial burden of her family. BURDEN? I have asked my mum, is that the purpose of marriage? To ease a parent’s burden? Her reply was that’s how little the parents of those girls know! They don’t understood the value of education in a girl, and the burden that can be eased off of their shoulder if their daughters were given a chance to work and be someone. If independence to her life was given priority. How much more would the family gain from their daughter if they had placed her rights above all else.

Personally I knew of a girl back in school, who came from a poverty striken family. She was made to be married off almost immediately after SPM (age17) because her parents could not afford to put her for tertiary education. But is marriage the answer to such a situation? Getting their daughters to be married to men who are poorly educated or not at all and have their girls be treated like trash by their supposed husbands who come back drunk and insist of SEX? Who have no regards for raising their own children? 
I believe once such a cycle exist, that drive to do the same to their own young will continue unless, the young mother decides to put an end to such vicious decisions on their own girls! 
Malaysia may be modern and advanced, but sadly, child marriages still exist and in recent statistics, it is on the rise! What’s the excuse for such an act now? Financial burden? Child with acts of promiscuity? 
Mind sets need to be changed! The fact of the matter is, it is not the men who truly discriminate women, but women themselves who discriminate their own gender that has caused such a devastating scenario for the female race! 
Ladies who ill treat their daughters and look at them as nothing more than a object for marriage, mothers who have no guts to stand up against their abusive idiotic husbands who think the girl should be given away to another man, women who think they need to have their daughters married off ASAP so that their duty as a mother is obligated! As long as women such as these exist, women who do not know how to protect their own girls, and the girls around them by prioritizing their needs and rights as a HUMAN and not as an OBJECT, child marriages can never be put into the grave! 
Women who are mothers, sisters, aunts, teachers, neighbors, and friends must make this first change! Protect the rights of the girls around you!! If you have been abused of your own rights..you can put an end to it - don’t give a deaf ear or a blind eye to those who are going to end up like you.. you should be the living example of what you don’t want your own child or the child of another to be! 
The Girl - The Gift!

A girl is gift to humanity,She is the one who brings life into the world,The one who cares and gives more than she ever knew she could,The one who deserves to own her rights and have her rights protected for her!
A girl is the light to her family,A being whom like a boy deserves to be someone,She deserves happiness and joy,She deserves friends and an education,She deserves to have her parents' love even after her wings take their first flight alone!
A girl’s marriage is not a license to freedom!Her marriage is not the broom to sweep your burdens away!Her marriage is a commitment! A commitment she makes when she is ready to make it!For marriage is a journey that is not marked on a map..It is not a resort for washing of hands!For even a married daughter needs her parents to protect her, From the possible viciousness and vices  of the man who may even have married her for her love! As a parent, you are never free from your responsibilities towards your girl, unless death takes you away from her,For your girl is a gift, to you and humanity!She is a gift to herself! 
JFN

My Copper Anniversary!!

Officially it’s 9 years, but I like to count it with a plus 2! So technically it’s 11 years..I can’t believe how fast time flies..and how much we have grown as a family and as individuals ourselves - spouse and parent..how much we have been through..and how much more we look forward to go thru for each other and our lovely children..Hopefully till our bones go brittling away with toothless smiles..along with grandkids who are deeply in love with us, and children who desire to always embrace our warmth.. because I know that warmth is something you and I have in abundance for our babies!!
For all those wishes I wish..I have but one simple wish to begin with..That I have at least a minute of life left in my soul, no matter what, to always have the chance to say I LOVE YOU before a final goodbye..
They say... Life is so unpredictable.. But of all the unpredictabilities.. our blessings are the best things we have been unpredictably showered with!! My blessings are YOU and OUR LOVELY CHILDREN!! The life you have given me, the love you have embraced me with and the pedestal upon which you and our children have placed me.. and for everything.. I say Thank You!
Happy Copper Anniversary Honey!!
I love you my dearest..I always have and always will..