Naima Mora's Blog, page 6

The Print Edition of Model Behavior & Stories

On set shooting during New York Fashion Week.

Just a quick note to share that we hope to have the print edition of Model Behavior available for purchase by the end of the year and I am still looking for YOUR STORIES for our real personal story collection for our next book project – Model Citizen.

Especially in a world where what we share about ourselves can make the difference between the light and dark for another, it is your stories of courage and of what you have achieved or overcome that are most important to me in my writing endeavors.

So please share your stories with me and let me know of there is anything I can write about to help you on your journey.

All my best-

Naima

The post The Print Edition of Model Behavior & Stories appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

Commitment To The Journey of Success

The Guest Spot

From the real world experience of executive assistant Gayle Santana, who wrote the following article in Business Know How, these practical steps to success in life and business  remind me of how in my book, “Model Behavior,” I discuss the importance of following your dreams. Here is a practical guide for helping to make that happen!

***

The Top 10 Ways to Be Successful in Both Business and Life

by Gayle E. Santana

Why do some people succeed, while others fail to reach their goals? Here’s one business owner’s observations about what successful people do that others don’t.

Gayle Santana

I have been a business owner for about a minute. In fact, that would probably be quite generous if you compared me to the business moguls out here or anywhere for that matter. But in spite of that fact, I probably know a lot about business, more than I realize and much more than you would expect, if you knew my background. It is my life as a business owner that has finally made sense of all the data and observations that I have gathered over the years. I spent 20 years of my life working for others, most unknown, some infamous.

Because my jobs were in an executive assistant capacity for the past 20 years I, like all assistants, get to see the workings of the company almost like a fly on the wall. We get to see the inner workings of the people we work for. We get to hear the opposing view from others who work for the company, both those who are close to the boss and those far removed.

I don’t know about other assistants, but for me it’s like watching a horror movie where you know what’s behind the door but the person opening the door has no idea. And you are in the audience screaming don’t do it! But who is going to listen to you? So you just see and feel certain behaviors and actions and you file them away like you are gathering data for future analysis. Well I am now in that future and this is my analysis.

Life and business are not all that different. Some people would like you to think the rules of the game are different in business, but they really are not. They like to keep the mystery about it, the smoke and mirrors going. But in my own experience, observation of others and readings about the lives of countless others, this is what I believe it takes to be successful in both life and business. It is what I constantly strive to achieve for myself. And in the style of David Letterman, we’ll begin with number 10!

***

10. Letting your gut-instincts keep you safe. This is more than street-smarts. I believe that gut instinct is not just some strange source but 1- the spiritual essence of us and our connection with the source of life, but also 2- it is a lifetime of observation and learning from experience. I surely have experienced life and I have spent my life observing people. I have the ability to peer into the insides of people. My mother could do it. She would make these statements about people she barely knew and she’d hit the nail on the head about their very essence. I too have this ability.

The thing is it’s not always something you can verbalize but your gut tells you some things right off the bat. This is a very useful thing in the business world and I believe we all have this ability but not everyone taps into it. Being able to read people doesn’t mean that you immediately run or become best friends, it means that you proceed with caution filing away the info you’ve got on hand right now. If there is something queer about a business proposition, keep this up front as you examine it. You know in your gut when something’s right and when something’s not right.

9. A lifetime of self-examination – I cannot stress this enough. We are a work in progress. You will make mistakes, your attitude will change and you will grow. But if you don’t take the time to examine yourself and your attitudes along the way, you run the risk of becoming stagnant and brittle. And brittle is a good candidate for crumbling dust. Examine your relationships with people, your business practices, not just your finances. In the end, it is your relationship with people that makes you successful in both life and business. If you find yourself having the same issues arise, it’s time for some self-examination. What are you doing to contribute to this issue? What can you do to create a change?

8. Open mindedness to new ways of thinking. How many times have we seen people, throughout history, hold on to what they believe is the ONLY way to think, to find the world moving on without them? It was generally thought the automobile would never catch on; after all, weren’t bicycles and trains more than enough? It doesn’t mean you have to change your way of thinking or embrace it, just examine it, educate yourself about it and recognize that it may be here to stay.

7. Open mindedness to new technology–This relates to number 8 but in a business capacity, it is even more important. A pencil and paper may be your preferred method of working on finances, but you had better know a few things about technology or you and your pencil will be left behind. Sure you can hire others who know, but what you don’t know CAN hurt you. Read! You can learn so much about anything by reading. And if you were tech savvy you would know the internet is the greatest addition to the library in regard to learning about everything!

6. Being streetwise and book-smart – There is nothing more important than having a reasonable balance of both. Naivety can cost you and not being educated to the level you need to function well in your chosen environment can cost you as well. Don’t leave your street-smarts at the door in business environments but temper it with real knowledge as well.

5. Education and constant re-education – I am not talking about college degrees here. Though they are a great start, you must continue to educate yourself. Take part in seminars, read everything, surf the net. Even when you think you’ve got it, press on.

4. A willingness to give back – First, take care of yourself. Put yourself in a position to give back. I’ve had the privilege to hear so many people speak about their ideas for new businesses. The first thing they say is that they want to help people and that they want to give away what they’ve got. Andrew Morrison, from Small Business Camp (http://www.smallbusinesscamp.com) and believer that questions are more powerful than answers (see his book “21 Questions that Will Build Your Business in 90 Days”) always asks the question, “Where’s the money?” because if you can’t support yourself, if you have to close your doors because you are bankrupt, how can you realistically help others? Sure there are exceptions to this, but most people have been able to give back and help others because they helped themselves. When you’ve helped yourself, GIVE BACK! I’ve seen many people become selfish and bitter in this regard. “I had to do it for myself! Nobody helped me!” They begin to dole out help in a miserly manner, looking for something in return including gratitude. They also give with suspicion. They suspect that those they give to will use it to steal something from them. If you watch closely, here is where they will begin their descent. If you feel like you got where you are on your own, look carefully I say, because you did NOT get to where you are without help. And much of it was given unselfishly and without restraint. Give generously and from the heart and don’t look back! (CAUTION: DON’T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DRAINED DRY BY THOSE WHO LIKE TO PLAY UPON THIS NOTION EITHER)

3. Love and caring for yourself - Here is a simple analogy. When you board a plane you are treated to a demonstration of what to do in case the oxygen masks drop from above. The first instruction is to put your mask on first. This is especially important because if you don’t take care of your need first, you will not be able to help others and that includes your children, your spouse or anyone else. How does this relate to business? Create the situation that best helps you first. Put yourself in a position of power or at least close to the ear of power. Do a great job, first for you. Excel for you. Then assist others, speak up for others, do for others.

2. How you treat people — I believe in this. I don’t think you really have the right to abuse people. Some people think that certain groups of people are okay to abuse. I am not speaking from a standpoint of race here either. These people think that it’s okay to abuse “the help” i.e. countless waiters and waitresses, assistants, maids, children. They also think it’s okay to abuse what they deem “fat people” or people they believe are “ugly”. They believe it’s okay to treat “telemarketers” with disrespect when these are just people doing a job (I’m not talking about rude or abusive telemarketers either!). I believe that the golden rule is truth that still stands, because truth will always stand. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, or your daughter or son, or spouse, etc. I urge you to read “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, by Dale Carnegie, over and over again. Study the lives of the charismatic. Success was written in their everyday dealings with people. Not on a superficial level but on a deeper connecting level.

1. Commitment to the journey - Here is what I believe is the number one key to success for an entrepreneur. Are you committed? What I am trying to say is that in all of my observations, and from my own experience, I find that the journey is always the same. It’s a long road of self examination and improvement, skill examination and education. It’s making judgment calls about people, things and situations. You continually correct the “course” until you are headed in the right direction. To trust your gut, to keep the faith, to make it through tough times, takes practice. The question is can you stick it out? Do you quit because the money is low? Do you quit because you can’t find the right people? When do you say it’s over?

Commitment to the journey. It is the key to success. Because you will always see things that make you want to run. But you have to put your faith on the table. You really have to stand against all odds. It takes courage. And when you do this, you will succeed.

As Goethe put it:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative (and creation). There is one elemental truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans— that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves all. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of incidents and meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would come his or her way.

Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Begin it now.”

- Goethe (1749-1832), German poet and dramatist

I am committed to the journey. Let’s see if Goethe and I are right.”

***

Gayle Santana is the owner of PVS Network and the PVS Network Virtual Call Center (http://www.glmediagroups.com/pvsnetwork/news.htm) and is committed to the PVS mission . She is just a professional

This article was published in Business Know How, “Top 10 Ways to Be Successful in Life and Business” by Gayle Santana.

http://www.businessknowhow.com/growth/bizlife.htm

The post Commitment To The Journey of Success appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

Fan Profile of the Week: Kerrigan McCabe

Fan Profile of the Week: Ms. Kerrigan McCabe

This week I introduce Ms. Kerrigan McCabe, a young women whose strength, intelligence, and sheer tenacity inspires me and I know she will you, too. Thank you, Kerrigan, for sharing a piece of yourself, and such a personal one at that, with me and others! I really enjoyed meeting you at Pink Soles, too!- Naima

***

Kerrigan McCabe – we’re at the Pink Soles fundraiser!

“My name is Kerrigan McCabe and I am a Dyslexic, and in my old elementary school it was considered a waste of time to try to teach me to read. I was ridiculed and ostracized by my peers. Then in second grade I moved to North Carolina, and I was ecstatic by the idea of a fresh start.

But not being able to read is almost impossible to hide. It quickly became known by my peers and once again I was mocked. But I was lucky my teacher saw my struggle and decided to help. We worked after school everyday and by the end of the year I was able to read; yet, I was still far below grade level.

In third grade with the help of my parents I was able to improve my reading skills. But by fourth grade I was still below grade level, and my teacher who also saw my struggle and decided to step in, helped me finally begin to read at grade level! This opened a world of knowledge and magic.

In fifth grade all I did was read, and it was my addiction. Against all odds when I started middle school, I got into the school’s honors program. I still had to work hard to keep up with the classes pace and for the years of reading I had missed out on.

But finally, in seventh grade I began to thrive and reading and writing became my element. Now I’m in the eighth grade and I’m  top of my class. I love reading and in my free time I write short stories and poems. It’s amazing how hard work, family, and brilliant teachers can change the course of a lifetime.

And that is my story.

P.S. It was an amazing honor to meet you last night at the Pink Soles fashion show, its great to see someone use their success to help such an important cause.

The post Fan Profile of the Week: Kerrigan McCabe appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

Continuance: The Other Side of the Coin

Continuance.

This week I explore the idea of moving through whatever comes at us in life. Post the elections and heading into a new year, I like to focus on what helps us stay realistically poised for success. Perspective and attitude about continuance, how we move through the good and the painful moments in our lives defines who we are.

What strategy do you use to embrace the other side of joy?

***

Visiting a beautiful church where my family lives in Cuernavaca, Mexico.

You know those happy moments that you wish would just last forever? You know those moments when everything seems perfectly aligned and couldn’t get any better? You know that moment when you feel so in love that you wish you could be there always? Everyone has them. They happen, and then they pass.

You know those terrible moments that you wish would never have happened? You know those moments when it seems like the world is against you and it couldn’t get any worse?

You know that moment when you feel like you hate them so much and you wish you could just disappear? Everyone has them. They happen, and then they pass.

We can’t hold onto things that have happened, good or bad. Life happens and it continues to happen every second of every moment of every day, changing and evolving. We must evolve with it.

One of the most valuable things I have learned in life is that when it happens (LIFE) we must cherish it, learn from it and choose to react to it the best way we can, thus evolving with it. If we get stuck in any significant moment of life, whether amazingly good or bad, we often fail to recognize that it will pass and we will experience the other end of the spectrum at some point. Through all of it, we continue to live.

Share with me your stories of recognizing what’s important to you! Share it here in the Fan Corner. 

The post Continuance: The Other Side of the Coin appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

Being Me: Being You

On being ourselves. Being me: being you.

I couldn’t understand when I was younger why I didn’t really fit in with any group or clique of people that was popular. I felt this more and more the older I grew. The more my personality developed and the more I formed my own opinions about the world, the more I felt this way.

Photo with one of my beautiful fans Phyllis Agu at a Cosmetics Event in Connecticut

By the time I reached high school I felt like a total outcast. When everyone was wearing denim outfits and white Nike sneakers, I started making my own clothes and wearing psychedelic shirts like my hero, Jimi Hendrix. I would paste photo printouts of Jimi Hendrix on the outside of my locker and people would rip them down, but I would tape them back up.

I loved listening to everything that was NOT popular on the radio with most teenagers. I loved listening to Green Day, Santana, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors and classic hip-hop like Master Ace. All the other girls were wearing their hair straight and processed. I wore my curly Afro! Then I started dying it all kinds of colors!

I enjoyed going to the museum more than the mall. Perhaps because at the museum I felt fulfilled, whereas at the mall my empty pockets left me feeling depressed. I couldn’t afford much of anything, especially the latest expensive trends – so I decided to shop at the Salvation Army and revamp the clothes I liked most. I believe my economic status definitely helped encourage my creativity and bravery to stand out and be myself!

It was frightening and strange a lot of the time! But I was me, and that was amazing.

It is still a challenge to be myself, in that most people will not understand why I do what I do. That is unimportant. I have spent my life discovering what makes me most happy – without tampering with the happiness of others. So I will continue doing what makes me happy and I will do it joyously, even when facing ridicule and judgment. I will have courage to continue forward, being myself.

What makes you – you? Share your story about the struggle to be yourself.

The post Being Me: Being You appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

Affirmations – Creating Happiness and Well Being

Did you know that every thought you think, every affirmation you tell yourself, and every attitude you hold contributes to your happiness and well being? I talk about this in “Model Behavior.” Learn how to reprogram your mind for well being, success and happiness by using positive, focused statements called affirmations. Here is an article by Cheryl Cattarin. Find out ore about Cheryl, following her article below.

ATTITUDES AND ASSUMPTIONS.

Cheryl Cattarin, Founder of Inner Solutions Ltd. Australia

When we were children, we were taught by adults, teachers and peers to believe certain things about ourselves and about life. These teachings became the foundations of our beliefs and attitudes. Attitudes that were formed in our growing years can be a great source of inspiration and encouragement or personal burden and disharmony.

If you grew up with loved ones who used negative statements and criticism, then it is likely that these statements still affect the way you think, the way you perform and the way you use your personal abilities.

NEGATIVE ATTITUDES, BELIEFS OR ASSUMPTIONS

Consider the following statements. You’re not very smart. You’re stupid. Hurry up. You’re ugly. No one likes you. You’re fat. You’re dumb. You’re lazy.

We’ve all heard these comments, but repeated often enough, they can become a belief in our subconscious mind. The above comments would then become I’m not very smart , I’m pretty stupid, I have to hurry, I’m ugly, No one likes me, I’m fat, I’m dumb, I’m lazy.

Many people I see have a number of these untruths locked away in their subconscious mind. Comments like these, train us to build up a defensive wall around our body and mind, which can lead to avoidance behaviour, illness and lack of using our creative talent. If we continue to work with such limiting thoughts and attitudes, we will thwart and suppress our natural talent. Often we turn to avoidance behaviour because we fear failure, rejection, or being hurt. It can become safer to procrastinate rather than experience life.

Look at the problem areas in your life, and then look at the corresponding beliefs that you hold.

We have an opportunity here to change the way we view life. As part of making the necessary change, it is crucial that we recognize the beliefs that compound our problems.

For example: A woman came to see me because she was gritting her teeth and this was causing her to have headaches. As a mother and part time secretary, her thoughts went something like this: “I haven’t got time,” “No body ever helps me,” “I have to hurry,” “I can’t get everything done.”

As well as learning Stress Management exercises, she also had to learn to change her beliefs so that she could get the assistance she required. It was hard for her to ask for help because it made her feel like a failure, but as she started to work on her belief system a funny thing happened, the headaches went and she got help with her housework.

Her beliefs became “There is a solution for everything,” or “Lots of people help me,” or “It’s o.k. to ask for help,” and “I can get everything done.”

Another example: A lady came to see me who was frightened of losing her relationship. Her belief “no one loves me” was learnt very early in her life. Perhaps a faulty perception, but never the less a belief that she carried through to her early thirties. She was in the process of sabotaging this relationship when we worked on her belief system. By changing her beliefs to ” I am lovable and worthy of love in my life ” she was able to overcome her earlier obstacle. Her relationship is now stable and there are plans for marriage in the foreseeable future.

For example: A year 12 student came to see me complaining of exam nerves, I asked him what he was thinking in regards to the exams. He said “I’m scared,” I get sick in exams,” “I don’t know my work,” etc.”

Through his negative statements he had projected fear thoughts forward. You can imagine what would happen during the H.S.C. with thoughts like that! Luckily though, this was early in the year and we had time to feed the subconscious sponge new thoughts “I feel so confident when I sit for the exams; I remember my work with ease, studying each night brings me success in my exams .”

I also trained him to visualize the exams in a positive way. He did quite well in the H.S.C., better than anticipated by his teachers.

Negative emotions, limiting beliefs and conflicts can be abandoned, allowing you to make new choices about yourself and your life. It’s not necessary for any of us to drag past hurts, limitations and conflicts into the future, once you learn how to change your negative beliefs to positive ones, you will begin to let go of the past and start to live for today and for a future based on happiness and success.

Be aware that every thought that you think is expressed as an affirmation on the subconscious mind. Knowing this, doesn’t it make sense to ensure that your thoughts are positive and encouraging?

When you use affirmations, you are influencing the thoughts that enter your subconscious mind. Fill your subconscious mind with thoughts that support your goals.

If you think “It’s a great day today,” your mind will begin to trigger memories of other great days and so you will enjoy the day more.
If you think “I am so organized” your mind will trigger thoughts on how to be more organized and so catapult you towards fulfilling your goal.
If you think “I enjoy meeting new people”, your mind will bring up the confidence you require to be successful when you meet new people and thus catapult you into fulfilling your prophesy.

Positive Affirmations Examples

It is easy for me to make friends
I enjoy meeting new people.
I am becoming more organized.
There is always a great solution.
It’s easy to be friendly.
My work motivates me to achieve my best.
I enjoy this challenge.
I enjoy my job.
I am becoming happier and more confident
I have great ideas which I action.”

WHAT POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS DO YOU USE REGULARLY? SHARE THEM HERE!

About the Author: Cheryl Cattarin is a spiritual counsellor with many years experience in natural healing therapies. Teaching people to access their spirituality, inner wisdom and intuition is her life’s passion. You can read more about personal and spiritual development at www.cherylcattarin.com.

Article Source: EzineArticles or visit: http://www.positivelivingtv.com/inner-voice/affirmations-creating-happiness-and-well-being

The post Affirmations – Creating Happiness and Well Being appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

In North Carolina Supporting Breast Cancer Awareness

Goings on for me? I had a great weekend in Charlotte, NC! I hosted a breast cancer awareness and fundraiser event. Here is some of the coverage on it!  The Charlotte Post

Up On Style Blog, by Khalia Wilkinson

Owner/Writer Up On Style!

www.UpOnStyle.com

Fb/Twitter/Pinterest: @UpOnStyle

khaliawilkinson@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The post In North Carolina Supporting Breast Cancer Awareness appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

Cassondra Hamm: Slice of Life

Slice of Life. Cassondra Hamm: Fan Profile of the Week. This week’s reader/fan profile, the experience of cutting and getting lost – then found – is beyond courageous. This is a story of pushing past the pain we find and inflict on ourselves, in search of the truth of who we are. Thank you so very much, Cassondra, for braving the truth. – Naima

I’m in the bathtub with all the lights turned off. The water, once so hot it turned my skin a bright red, is now cold. I don’t know how long I have been here, but I know I have done enough damage to myself that the bath water has a pinkish hue to it. Guilt. Shame. Remorse. Pain. Release. Accomplishment. Fear. Pride.

Cassondra Hamm: Fan profile of the Week – Naima Mora Online.

The strongest, most overwhelming feeling of all, control. I lift my chin, take a deep breath, and look at my left forearm. Bright, red blood drips from the reopened scars that have been healing for the past eleven years. I drag my fingers across the new wounds and lift them up to my lips to taste the metallic elixir of my pain. All the things that were tearing me up from the inside, are now tangible. I can see, feel, smell and taste them. They are right there, on the outside. God that is so much better.

I started it, I am now stopping it. One more deep breath and that will do. I wrap the straight blade in toilet paper and toss it into the trash. I surround my body with a soft white towel and check the damage. Well. That’s a good two weeks of bandages and long sleeves no matter the weather. It is also a good two years of MAC concealer. And so it is.

I first came across the release of the razor at the not so innocent age of sixteen. Childhood had chewed me  up and spit me out and left me alone to deal with unimaginable loss and trauma. Now I don’t know what it was like in your house growing up, but in mine we did not talk about anything. If we didn’t talk about it, it didn’t happen. It simply ceased to exist and we just slapped a pretty smile and lots of mood altering chemicals on the ugly and la la laaaaaaaa.

All better! Don’t talk. Don’t feel. Don’t trust. Always look at the good. Most importantly, always look good. This conditioned me to bottle things up. Remain silent. I didn’t want to make any waves in an already tumultuous household. It was my core belief that there just wasn’t any space, and I surely had no place to express my experience of the shitstorm around me. The lost child.

I know. Poor baby! Everyone say it together with me, “Awwwwwwwww!!”

The thing about keeping every true emotion bottled up is this; no matter how many people I have in my life, I feel so very alone. So it was at sixteen, a Junior in High school with a ton of friends, a killer boyfriend who adored me, and a mother who was doing the very best she knew how, that I discovered the drag and tear of sharp implements across my skin for emotional control.

With each swipe, my head stopped screaming. All the thoughts and feelings of being out of control stopped. One, two, tree, down. One, two, three, across. Always a pattern. Always in threes. It hurt, sure. However I knew exactly where it hurt, and why. I started when I wanted to, I stopped when I felt done. It was mine, and it was so easily explained. I hurt because I was cut. I sure as shit didn’t need an eighty dollar an hour therapist and a prescription for lithium to explain that to me.

Just like any unhealthy activity one engages in to mask feelings, it stopped working as well. The cuts became deeper. The cuts became more visible. The cuts became more frequent. Scars run across my arm like railroad tracks and I catch people noticing them, and becoming so very uncomfortable. When my daughter became old enough to notice and ask me, “Mommy what happened to your arm?” the only thing I could think to say was, “I got in a fight with Wolverine. Don’t worry, Mommy kicked his butt.” This is my standard answer for inquisitive children. Who, by the way, are the only people brave enough to ask.

I spend ten minutes a day mixing concealer and foundation to cover my scars. Sometimes I wear bracelets and watches all the way up to my elbow. I have tattooed over my scars, wrapped them up in a bandana, and worn long sleeves in one hundred degree weather. I am more often than not so very consumed by the shame of looking “crazy”.

I know I am not crazy. I am just a human. Trying to work out this life.

We all have scars. We are all wounded. Some of us, more wounded than others. Some of us, less equipped to deal with the wounds than others. This world is a gnarly place, and until one finds one’s authentic purpose in it, things are really confusing. We all tend to our wounds in our own way. Some of us drink. Some of us starve. Some of us eat. Some of us find Jesus. Some of us sleep with anyone and everyone. Some of us paint. Some of us write. Some of us skydive. Some of us get sober. Some of us do all of the above.

And some of us, cut. That is just the reality. I am not condoning, promoting, shaming, or judging any of the above mentioned activities. I am simply speaking my truth. I’m doing this thing where I am not bottling things up anymore.

See how that works?

I am not, nor have I ever been a sad sack emo broad. The purpose of my writing this is to hopefully erase images of long black bangs covering eyes, and too tight skinny jeans from your conditioned awareness of self mutilators. This isn’t WHO I am, this is a PART of who I am. It is a part of the story that makes me, me. I am not a tragic chick. I am a chick with some scars. Just like yours. The only difference between you and I is that mine are on the outside for all to see. So look, don’t look. Ask, or look down when I catch you staring. It’s all good. It’s all me. I am a perfect and holy child of God. Whole, perfect, and complete exactly the way I am.

To live an authentic life, to allow those in my life to get to know and begin to love the whole, real me, it is of total importance that I embrace my scars today.  This is the first step towards my loving myself. To erase the guilt and shame I hold close to my heart about my past, I am taking the masks and make up off my scars, and therefore myself.

I cannot logically request the loves around me to see me, and not just look at me, while hiding.  I believe Mya Angelou said it best when she claimed, “I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: “Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

In celebrating my scars, I don’t feel any pull to create new ones. I guess that is what I hear referred to as a spiritual awakening. God, spirit, Sacred Grandmother Tree, whatever. Thank you. Thank you for relieving me of the obsession to control and allowing me to feel my feelings today.

These feelings of peace, love, contentment, gratitude and acceptance, are overwhelming. In a good way! A non-slicey way.

My name is Cassondra Hamm, and this is just one of my stories. What’s yours?

 

The post Cassondra Hamm: Slice of Life appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

The Artist in Us

Here I am with my friend Koji dressed up as flower children for a World Peace Prayer Meeting.

This week I’m exploring the artist in us. When I was a younger, I studied ballet. The first ballet I went to see was “The Nutcracker.” I remember one thing above all else of that performance- it moved me.

I was only sixteen years old, but I was so incredibly touched by the performance. I knew in that moment I wanted to inspire people the way I was inspired. So I decided to pursue ballet as my chosen profession.

Several years later, I realized it wasn’t necessarily ballet that I wanted to pursue, but inspiring people through an artistic medium. It has been a long road and an incredible mission, but I think I am getting closer to my goal.

“All people go through the same emotions and learn the same things at different points and in different ways throughout their lives.” (Naima Mora: Model Behavior)

As artists, we express these emotions and life lessons through our creativity. Part of mastering our craft is in understanding how to directly relate to the emotions of others, thus making an impact on their lives through our art.

As a musician and a writer I strive every day to come closer to mastering my craft. I want to become so expressive that I inspire and move people… making them all the more aware of their humanity and me of my own.

People communicate without words all the time, and I think this is the language of art. Each artist has his or her own individual language or means of communication, yet when mastered, everyone can understand it.

What do you think?

The post The Artist in Us appeared first on Naima Mora Online.

Alexandra Henry-Brown: Fan Profile of the Week

This week’s fan profile – meet Alexandra Henry-Brown – whose words are poetic, whose experiences are real, and in sharing her life – her story – as she wrote it – we all can heal and celebrate how far we’ve come, too. Thank you for sharing your struggle and your perseverance. – Naima

***

Alexandra Henry-Brown

When I was 3, my parents got divorced. My father was in the military, and my mother a public educator. But she used to be an actress. When my dad came back from Desert Storm, he suffered severe post-traumatic stress disorder, and my mother just didn’t know how to handle that. She was diagnosed with severe bi-polar II disorder, and the sane one (my dad), went crazy.

When I was 4 I decided performance was my passion. I might have been an emotional child, but the stage gave me a safe place to practice those emotions.

My dad, though restricted from seeing me, made sure that the child support he paid helped me to get at least a taste of the arts. My mother, however, being an actress who did not make the final cut, was wary of allowing me on the stage.

I was cast in my first movie at age 6.

Actually, my mom was cast, and brought me to the casting, and they happened to be looking for a 6 year old to play her daughter…and they thought I was cool…so it worked out.

The part I was playing was a young girl named Allison.

I then renamed myself Ali.

And It stuck.

When my mother got remarried, less than one year after the divorce, I took my step-dad’s last name, by choice. The divorce itself was not a pretty one by any means.

I then morphed into Ali Brown.

My mom had issues with me performing, but I didn’t let that stop me. When she refused to pay for classes, I worked instead, whether cleaning the studio, fundraising after hours, or walking dogs to pay for costumes. When I turned 13, I started working at the football field in Denver with my friends, pretending to be 16. At age 16, I got my first real restaurant job at an Italian Restaurant in Olde Town Arvada.

I open enrolled to a high school out of my area that had an incredible performing arts program. From there, I was accepted to Colorado State University for Dance, and The University of Hawaii for Marine Biology, another strong passion of mine, and I loved the idea of working with sharks and rays.

However, my mother refused to help me pay for either of those schools, so I settled for Metropolitan State College of Denver, a small commuter school in Denver, Colorado. I had academic scholarships, as well as a scholarship from the journalism department, but they didn’t offer dance or marine biology, and journalism turned out NOT to be the major I had wished to study.

But it is affordable, so I make do.

Two weeks into school freshman year (2010), while walking down campus, I was approached about modeling. I had never thought of myself as a model, and was flattered, but I passed on that offer. I was a dancer, not a model…and I am only 5’6″ tall! After seeing me perform my senior year of high school, a local dance company hired me, and asked me to help teach and direct the competition team.

It wasn’t what I wanted to do; I wanted to dance, but it worked, and my tuition was free as long as I worked with the company. I was asked to go onboard the Celebrity Nationals at Sea 2011 cruise as an assistant teacher. Thankfully, because I was 18, I was also young enough to compete when a few girls dropped out of the school right before launch.

I was seen by people in the industry who work all over the world! My job as a performer was set. Until I got back and my mother told me if I left for my dream, there was no way she would ever help me financially again. And so I stayed in Denver, CO, where thank goodness, about two weeks later, I blew out my knee.

The next semester (age 18) I was abducted on campus, by a drug dealer from New York City. 

I was drugged, and date raped. I woke up in an unknown house, off of east Colfax Ave.

I was 18 years old. He was almost 30.

I was kept in the house for about three months, the time-frame is still unknown to me.

Thankfully, I am smart, and I figured out how to escape safely. Nobody knows where he is anymore. Not that it really matters.

I wondered why nobody had called to find out where I was, but then I remembered I left home at 18, because my mother was far too strict.

Age 19 I was intoxicated.

Stress coping mechanism.

I was working at a bar to pay rent.

I was then scouted, yet again, and this time , it was about acting.

I guess I look like an actress, as well as a model.

That night I partied with L.L. Cool J and realized I could get used to this world.

I now work with Maximum Talent Agency. They are a national agency, and they are also represented in Canada.

Because I am short, all modeling work has been my own networking.

Thankfully, my college education and past struggles taught me a thing or two about confidence, and I have managed to do okay in  the modeling industry in Denver, Colorado.

Weird…because there isn’t much of an industry in Denver, Colorado.

I have continued to work with a few local dance companies, and continued to network with some of the people I met in other parts of the world via Facebook.

Above all else, I have managed to stay in College.

I now wait tables at the Denver Downtown Aquarium. Though I may not have a degree in Marine Biology, I am grateful that I do still get to see sharks and Rays every day.

I also teach Musical Theatre, Ballet, Tap, Hip-Hop, Acrobatics, and Jazz at that very same dance company who gave me a chance.

The best part is. My dad and I talk again.

I may not be there yet, but I feel like I am closer every single day.

One day, hopefully soon, I hope to make it back to my hometown. Or at least home state of California.

 

With everything that happened in my past, There were many times I wanted to give up. There have been many days where I ask myself why I continue trying, when I just feel like I am failing time and time again.

But then I remember, I am only 20 years old.

I have plenty of time left.

And I am Buddhist. Peace, solves everything.

My name is Alexandra Helen Henry-Brown, but you can call me Ali. And this is my story.

I can’ wait to see what comes next.

***

The experiences depicted here are serious and too often shared by too many young girls. If you or someone you know has been raped, try GirlsHealth.gov.

The post Alexandra Henry-Brown: Fan Profile of the Week appeared first on Naima Mora Online.