Naima Mora's Blog, page 2

TEDx Called: Help Me Shape My Talk!

One of the greatest things about life is our ability to share our story. One of the greatest impacts we can have on the world is to share the truths of our story and our insights and knowledge so that WE can scale amazing, human heights of achievement and beauty.

Naima Mora, 2013. Photo by Kaboo Vang

I have been asked to give a TEDX talk on June 28th in Sacramento. An honor and an exciting prospect! Yet, I am also daunted by the challenge of that responsibility. Tens of thousands of not millions of eyes and hearts could tune in.

Not one to ever back away from a challenge, I am very excited and also hoping that you might help me with a few pieces of feedback, which I will incorporate into my talk.

1) If you could change only one thing in the world, what would it be?

2) How do you think about your past mistakes? Do they inform your future or do you dwell in the past?

3) What is the most important thing young people should do to contribute positively to a world filled with peace over conflict, and joy over pain?

Share your thoughts with me…and thanks so much for subscribing to my column and following me as well as sharing with me this journey! Also, if you haven’t picked up a copy of my latest book – Model Behavior – I hope you will! You can buy it here in print or at iTunes. 

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A Review of Model Behavior and A Personal Story: Affirmations of Opportunity

This young woman wrote a Fan Story for me months back called A Slice of Life. It was so good we invited her to cover my Sacramento book signing campaign kick off. She is brave, beautiful, and honors me with her truth and courage!

-Naima

By Cassondra Hamm

Knock, knock. My life is calling. Fear and self doubt have conditioned me to push my shoulder, with all my weight behind it, up against that door, holding fast onto the doorknob while my head screams things such as, “You’re not good enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not talented enough. You were never meant to shine that brightly.”

I have allowed this negative self-talk to keep me closed off from so many beautiful experiences. There have been so many times I have been presented with an opportunity to do exactly what it is I know I am meant to do, and yet, I shook my head with a resounding, “No!” because I was scared.

I am much more comfortable standing in the shadows of the greatness around me, than casting shadows of my own.

It wasn’t until I fully realized just how much I had to give, that I saw if I wanted to make some waves in this world, I needed to start saying, “Yes!” to the things that were in line with the spiritual path I was on. To heal the parts of myself that were broken, and in turn help others. I began to write.

I wrote about the scariest parts of myself. I was fully honest and raw. I told the truth about the parts about me that scared me the most. The parts that I kept hidden and secret in shame. I did it for me.

For so long I had kept things so close to my heart that they would eat me from the inside out. Once I began to put the words to paper, and push it out into the great big universe, my breath became deeper. My soul found peace. The screaming in my head quieted, somewhat, and I began to heal.

The kicker? People liked it! I was embraced by friends and family and even noticed by a few publishers. I had strangers stopping me and telling me how much they had connected with the things that I had written. People began saying, “Yes!” to me, because I had said, “Yes!” to healing and, “No!” to fear and doubt.

It was uncomfortable, sure. The most uncomfortable and in turn important thing I wrote was a story about self-mutilation. In a manic moment of complete desire to heal, I shared the piece with a friend who is a publisher, Tracy Saville. She encouraged me to submit it to a nationally read blog she was working on with America’s Next Top Model Naima Mora. I did a little research on Naima’s project and felt it was a safe avenue to share my story with, and slammed my story out for the world to see.

To be totally honest, six months after the fact, I had pretty much forgotten about the piece. It wasn’t until Tracy contacted me and asked if I would be willing and interested in covering Naima’s book signing party and writing an article about my experience that I began to understand the power of the words I had written. Knock knock? More like a battering ram. I had no choice but to stand back and let that door blow open and let this opportunity sweep me up, and my potential out into the real life literary world. I said, “Yes!”

True to my conditioned form of masks and appearances, the thing I focused the most on was what I was going to wear. This was a professional fashion model I was going to be writing about, after all. Even if I felt like I had no business being there, at least I could look like I did. Fake it until you make it, they tell me. Let’s do this.

It was the moment I was introduced to Naima, that I realized how silly the masks we all wear are. There she was, standing tall, long, and beautiful in some jeans and a hoodie pulled deeply over her head. Tracy introduced us and I reached out to shake her hand, she pulled off her hoodie and looked me deeply in the eyes, smiled, and said, “It is really lovely to meet you. I look forward to reading the things you write about this.” Whoa. I immediately knew that was where Naima’s true beauty lived. In her spirit, in her connection, in her ability to communicate with people. And If I wasn’t nervous before, I sure as hell was now.

I felt fully out of place following Naima up the stairs to sit in on her hair and makeup session. I felt so awkward, that I expressed to everyone including the very nice and fashionable stylists that asked me if they could get me anything, “Oh no. I’m fine. I’m just kind of going to be here. You know. Lurking around in the back round taking notes. I’m not even sure what I am doing here.”

I received a lot of uncomfortable giggles in response but that was my truth. Do you want to know a secret about me? I have always thought I wanted to be a forensic psychologist. There is something deep within my core that I find both fascinating and authentic about sitting back, observing people and being able to come up with theories and story lines based upon their words and behaviors.

As I was sitting in that chic hair and makeup studio watching, observing, and learning, I realized that it isn’t criminal justice that is my calling, it is my inherent ability to observe people and find truth and create a story that is relate able to the masses spoken from my voice. That is what I was doing there.

So I watched. I listened. I took notes and asked questions. I took pictures and sent them to my best friend who responded with exclamations of encouragement. I could do this! This is what I was put here for. This is my gift to the world.

I learned a lot about Naima that night. I learned that she is a twin, a Pisces, a singer and a girlfriend. When asked if she were a model or a rock star, she replied with “Do I have to choose? I’m going to do it all. Just like Grace Jones.”

When I finally got comfortable enough to ask her some questions directly, she was humble and honest. She was friendly and welcoming. She was oh so passionate about the work that she is doing to reach young women and change people’s lives.

I spoke with Naima about her book and I asked her why it was so important to her. She expressed to me that she had been given this platform of a reality television show fame to speak from, and that she wanted to give the people that looked up to her, especially young people, something tangible.

Naima has always known that she was meant to help inspire people to follow their dreams. What most struck me about speaking to Naima was how instead of asking herself how these opportunities could help her, her fame and her success, her wallet, she was asking herself how she could help other people. It reminded me of a daily affirmation I used to say to myself, “I am a recognized and respected writer helping others through my experiences.”

There is a common bond between butterflies with broken wings in that we all want to help each other fly. 

Naima’s book is unique in that it is filled with full color pictures and broken into seven short chapters of compact and powerful content. It is visually stunning and rich with inspiration. I asked Naima why she broke out of the box and presented the world with a book of such different format. She smiled an honest smile and without missing a beat replied, “We spend so much time on the internet. People would rather watch a video on YouTube than sit down and read something. The way people are learning has changed. I wanted to make something that was dispersing information in that way.”

Naima’s desire to deeply do things that change people’s lives knows no limitations, and like a true child of our generation, she is adapting to the technology that is available to her. Naima and I chatted briefly about her next project, “Model Citizen”.

She shared with me that it is going to be a compilation of fan stories, young women of influential stature, and her own stories tied together. I told her, with some I admit selfish hope that she would recognize my name, that I had submitted a story to her fan blog and that it had been published and she brightened right up and said, “Oh! Great! So you’ll be in the book!” Well, yeah! Isn’t that the goal here? Isn’t that the big, impossible dream that I have been chasing?

I learned a lot about myself and about the greater good during my journey with Naima. If you really look at the transgressions of events it’s pretty simple. I took a shot. One shot. I mean, granted it was a pretty big shot, but I took it. I knew deep down that my experiences could help other people and that holding them close to me like some kind of shameful secret, was doing a disservice to myself and everyone around me.

I knew that in order to stay true to who I am and what I feel like I am meant to accomplish in this life; I had to start somewhere. So I put myself out there and shared part of my story. Because of that, I got to meet one of the most honest and inspiring people out there, and become a part of her motion to help the young people of the world.

I have a voice that needs to be heard, and there are people out there who see the possibilities, who can help me with the megaphone. I’m really looking forward to finding out what else will come of my relationships with Naima Mora, Tracy Saville, and Possibility Books. I am excited and hopeful and albeit a little day-dreamy of all the things that could be. Could I be in Naima’s next book? Could I write a book of my own?

The possibilities are endless, and based upon the experience I just I had I know that if I do the footwork, the universe will take care of the rest and say yes. So here I am saying, “Yes!” And, hey. If nothing else happens, this silly little girl who used to practice pulling her face tight for pictures and stomped across college campuses with one foot directly in front of the other, got to meet Naima Mora. I watched every single episode of Cycle 4, and having Naima tell me I was beautiful was the adolescent thrill of a lifetime.

 

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Model Tip #7: Your Integrity IS Your Business

Over the last several years since winning America’s Next Top Model, I have had the pleasure and fortune to work professionally as a well-known model. I have worked with many people and clients all over the world. I have also learned many things and had to spend months at a time alone while traveling.

Me shot by Jewel Estephanos, a wonderful photographer! And a person of integrity.

In truth, I love modeling and it has been an amazing career for me. Above all else there is one piece of advice that I really would like to share with you in this installment of my Model Tips. It is the most important piece of advice I can offer.

Keeping Your Integrity

Being a model is becoming part of an entire idea to form a beautiful image. A lot of times, it means becoming part of a work of art. I love fashion and each aspect of the process of photo shoots or runway shows encompasses a specific work of art.

Producing a photo shoot or fashion show requires specific elements. It requires a designer, a photographer, a makeup artist, a stylist, and often times a creative director and a model. I respect the amount of work each of these artists puts in to the given job to complete a genuine work of art and expression!

A lot of times, a model will be asked to do very daring and challenging things that can pull someone out of their comfort zone. Sometimes a model will be asked to pose for a “summer” shoot in the middle of winter and visa verse. A model will be asked to pose with an animal they feel uncomfortable with. Or sometimes a model may be asked to risk her life and safety in a dangerous position to get the shot.

Once, I was on location in Grand Cayman and was asked to pose of a photo on top of razor sharp volcanic rock. Myself being the outgoing person I am, I went for it! One unsteady foot at a time, I paced my way out to the middle of the rocks and got an amazing photo for the shoot!

Behind the scenes on set shooting for Crown Atelier in Grand Cayman.

I like to challenge myself and perform to my best ability. It makes me proud and it shows the client I am working for that I am willing to go to great lengths to help carry out their vision. This will always read well to the client and often times, you’ll get a call back because they want to work with you again!

Yet there is a place where the line must be drawn.

If I have ever felt uncomfortable, I mentioned it right away. On that same shoot in Grand Cayman the photographer also asked me to stand on a plank of wood eight feet off the ground that was completely unsecured. I tried, but once I felt just how unsecure the plank was, I had to bow out of my earnest effort.

Often times a model will be asked to bare parts of her body that aren’t always the most public in day-to-day life. I take into account a lot of things when asked to do this. First, how do I feel about it? I am not embarrassed of showing my body, if it is in an artistic and well represented way.

I also take into account, who the photographer is. Can I trust him or her with these images of my nudity after the shoot is over? Who else is on set? Do I feel comfortable posing certain ways with the rest of the crew watching? How will the shoot look once completed? Is it for a high fashion piece of art work, or is it for someone’s portfolio.

In the end, the choice is always up to you. Keep your integrity close to you as it will help to define who you are to others and will help to define your career to the world.

I have also had clients who were terribly mean to me. While on the job, I have decided to always keep professional and do what I was hired to do. I have spoken my mind and defended myself always in a polite and kind manner, regardless of the circumstance. After the job, I always report to my agency or management about the difficulties I may have had on set and allow them to duke it out with the client.

All in all, always keep your integrity. Your integrity is who you are as a person and will speak volumes in the success of your modeling career.

For more advice on pursuing your career as a model in the fashion industry and other great tips, please consider purchasing my book MODEL BEHAVIOR!

 

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7 Habits of Successful People

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Success is about goals, a system, and perseverance!

Re-sharing a great article from last year! Here’s some expert help on the success game from Victoria Joanna Bailey. It’s all about the habits, and here you have seven to consider! 7 Habits of Succesful People

Goals are an important part of our lives, and I discuss how to achieve them in my new book “Model Behavior.” Victoria Joanna Bailey has some great advice to follow – examples of successful people. Try incorporating these seven habits of success into your life. 

“Have you ever noticed that some people just stand out? Regardless of their industry or profession, they rise to the top. They are a testament to the fact that when it comes to success, it’s not what you do, but how you do it.

The “how” refers to your attitude, work ethic, effort and discipline.  It has less to do with talent and skill, and more to do with commitment.  You have more control over your success than you realize.  Success isn’t magic or simply luck.  If you look at the many examples of successful people in any industry or endeavor, there are certain common habits that the majority of them exhibit.  Incorporating these habits will help you reach the goals you’ve set for yourself, in any area of your life.

Habit #1: Successful people are plugged into their passion

Most people who have achieved great success love what they do.  Anyone who has risen to the top of their given industry, profession, sport or hobby has had a passion for what they were doing.  Success generally requires hard work, commitment, persistence and discipline.  All of these things can sound very daunting unless you are passionate about the task at hand.

How passionate are you about the goal you are pursuing?  How much passion do you have in your life in general?  Take an inventory of how often you get to do what you love.  When you infuse your life with activities that excite and inspire you, it takes much less effort to stay committed to your goals.  Make sure that whatever you are pursuing, you feel passionate about it.

Habit #2: Successful people make decisions and take action

Successful people are good at making decisions.  Often the biggest opportunities in life come and go quickly; those that take action tend to have the advantage.  This doesn’t mean we should be irresponsible with our decisions, but sometimes we need to take a risk and follow our intuition and simply take action.  It may not be perfect, but we learn from our mistakes, and course correct accordingly.

What decisions are you avoiding?  Perhaps joining a gym, getting a personal trainer, starting a course or new hobby, or updating your resume?  What is the worst that could happen?  What is holding you back?  Inaction is the antithesis of success. Mistakes and failures are part of the game.  Most successful people fail more than they win, but first they get in the game.

Habit #3: Successful people are focused

Successful people focus on one thing at a time.  They don’t try to be great at tennis and football.  They don’t open two businesses at once.   They don’t study to become a chef and teacher.  They pick one thing and devote their time and energy to becoming great in that one area.

Are you focused on your main goal?  Are you trying to do too much?  It’s not about making sacrifices and choosing one area of your life over another, but rather, knowing that not everything can happen all at once.  Many of us take on too many goals at once and we end up distracted, conflicted and ultimately frustrated with ourselves for not being able to “do it all.”  Pick one big goal that is over and above your regular commitments and devote all of your effort and attention to doing your best in this one area.  When you achieve it, be sure to celebrate your success.

Habit #4: Successful people surround themselves with great people

There is great truth to the saying “You can’t do it alone.”  Everyone who has accomplished something always has a long list of people to thank, from friends and family to team members, co-workers, teachers, mentors, trainers and coaches.  Successful people surround themselves with great people—people that are positive, supportive, inspiring, talented, knowledgeable and successful.

When you look at the circle of influence around you, are you surrounding yourself with the best possible people to fuel your success?  Do you have the support; motivation and inspiration that will help you reach your goals?  Do you have people around you whom you admire and who genuinely want you to succeed? If not, make a conscious decision to seek out and meet more like-minded people.

Habit #5: Successful people believe in themselves and their dreams

There is absolutely no substitute for positive thinking.  Successful people are able to see their success before it happens.  Even if they are not certain, they believe it is possible. They believe in themselves, their abilities and their own potential.  They believe that hard work, persistence and practice eventually pay off.  They are confident and optimistic.

To what extent to you believe in yourself?  Are you optimistic or skeptical about your success? Do you hope for the best but prepare yourself for the fact that you may not reach your goals? If you notice that you are being negative towards yourself or about the goals you want to achieve, begin to consciously and deliberately work on your beliefs.  Write down or say out loud a positive statement every time you catch yourself being negative.

Habit #6: Successful people strive for excellence

Successful people don’t settle for “good enough.”  They aren’t content with being average or mediocre.  They hold themselves to higher standards.  They have an exceptional work ethic and expect more from themselves than even others expect of them.

How much do you expect from yourself?  How high are the standards you set for your own personal level of excellence?  Where in your life are you settling for “good enough?”

The truth is that the more you expect from yourself, the more you will be able to achieve.  Pick one area in your life where you would want to be above average.  Set a goal that stretches you.  Don’t settle.  You are worth more than that.

Habit #7: Successful people take care of themselves

Successful people recognize the importance of “recharging their batteries.”

They understand the need for balance and the fact that in order to operate at a certain level, they must take care of themselves—physically, mentally and emotionally.

How well do you take care of yourself?  Do you often feel like you don’t have enough left to be able to focus on your goals?  Do you take time to take care of your physical body and emotional well-being?  The first step in self-care is to learn how to say “no.”  Find a way to put yourself on your priority list. To reach your goals, you must pay attention to your own needs, and value your happiness as much as you do everyone else’s.”

____________________________________________________________

Victoria Joanna Bailey is a life coach and nutritionist, committed to helping people make lasting changes that lead them on the path to health, happiness and a fulfilling life. For more information visit Best Health Magazine online:  http://www.besthealthmag.ca/embrace-life/wellness/7-habits-of-successful-people

See also Victoria’s own website: Victoria Bailey Wellness (www.victoriabaileywellness.com)

Thank you, Victoria, for helping people find their best selves!

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Naima’s Model Tips: Know Your Business

The business side of modeling. In my experience I have found that a lot of people who are pursuing careers in the fashion industry underestimate the importance of knowing the business logistics of the industry. In this installment of my Model Tips, I want to discuss some of the things that are most relevant in the business side of modeling.

-Naima

Hair and Make up ready, here I am backstage with my good friend and model Devin at NY Fashion Week event!

The very first thing you must take into account when you begin your modeling career is literally what kind of model you want to be. There are so many different kinds of work you can get as a model.

High Fashion

Being a High Fashion Model means you walk in all the major fashion shows and book big campaigns for luxury brand fashion houses.  High Fashion models travel a lot for location shooting and also in following fashion week to all the major fashion cities. The major fashion cities are New York, London, Paris, Milan and Tokyo.

Breaking into the world of high fashion modeling is very difficult and extremely competitive. It takes several years to start booking big campaigns.

To get a good idea of what a high fashion model does, pick up a copy of Vogue or check out the fashion shows on Style.com. People who want modeling to be the all end of their lives and their entire careers devote themselves to pursuing high fashion modeling.

Commercial Modeling

Another type of modeling that I think is highly under estimated is Commercial Modeling. Commercial modeling offers a broader range of job offers that also caters to many different body types. While in high fashion one normally has to fit to a standard height and size, commercial modeling is open to all different body types. Commercial work offers a quicker way into earning more money as a model and sooner.

While as a high fashion model, you may spend a few years in training to get to the point where you can book big campaigns like Versace, Gucci or Oscar de La Renta, you may be able to book a commercial for Chase Bank or Gerber Baby products in the first year of your commercial modeling career.

I had a contract with Cover Girl cosmetics and that was wonderful commercial booking for me. I also landed a contract with Sheer Cover Mineral Makeup among other great commercial work.

Body Model (Parts and Pieces)

Modeling your specific body parts is another type of modeling. A lot people book great jobs in both high fashion and commercial work as Hand or Foot Models. It sounds a little funny, but many companies need someone with beautiful hands to poor a delicious looking cup of coffee for a commercial. Or they may need someone with beautiful feet to advertise their new shoe line. Or they may need someone with a beautiful smile and teeth for a toothpaste ad.

Local Modeling

There is also local modeling. I mentioned this in an earlier installment of my Model Tips, but anywhere you live, people will need models. Whether it’s for a local photography studio, hair salon or fashion boutique, there is a need for models in your local area. The market and job opportunities will be fewer of course, but if you just want to try it out it doesn’t hurt to start exactly where you are.

Having a clear idea of what kind of modeling you are interested in pursuing is the first side of looking at modeling as an actual career. The next logistics you should definitely be aware of is payment and compensation.

Know Your Stuff
I think all models, whether they are just getting started or have been working in the fashion industry for years should know what the working day rate is for the jobs the take on. As independent contractors, we must be aware of our business and not leave the total responsibility to our agents or managers.

I have been modeling professionally for several years now and have worked with a few different model agencies and talent representatives. In every single working engagement I have had the opportunity to book, I have made it my personal interest to know exactly how much my rate was and how much of a percentage my agency was taking.

Your agent or manager will normally take care of these and other details in your working contract with any given client, but at the end of the day it is your business!

Of course the rates will vary on where you live, how long you have been modeling and the client you are working for, but it is so important to always be aware of what you are working for. And don’t be afraid to ask for what you deserve!

A lot of models start their career working for “trade.” This means that instead of offering cash payment, a client may offer you a dress from their new line of clothing or a hair salon may offer you instead a credit at the salon for a hair appointment. Working for trade is not a bad thing, but eventually you must decide whether you want to take your career to the next step.

If modeling is something you are truly passionate about and you would like to pursue it as a career, please take time to investigate the actual business aspects of the industry. It will help prepare you to be able to represent yourself as an industry professional all the more!

For more advice on building your career as a model in the fashion industry and other great tips, please consider purchasing my book MODEL BEHAVIOR! 

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The talented jeweler Aiman Nasrawi from Aquamarine who made this beautiful necklace I am wearing…a piece of “business” which turned out to be more fun and wonderful than anything – they were amazing!

A special thank you to all the wonderful boutiques, hair salons, make-up artists, and others who were so generous and supportive of me during my first week of my print tour in Sacramento! FaceIt Salon & Boutique and their amazing clothing partnership & hair and make-up, Aquamarine Jewelers,  Junior League of Sacramento, Violet Muse Boutique, Sean Minor Wines, Compari Sky Vodka, Sacramento Fashion Week, Christina Gunn of Brandmetta, Sac State Fashion Program, IADT, Possibility Media…I will be sharing more photos from these amazing promotional partners!

 

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Naima Mora: Pics from My Band Galaxy of Tar Website

I just wanted to share some recent pics and updated information from my website for my band Galaxy of Tar. Preview photos here. Music News Here. - Naima Mora

Recent Music News – Galaxy of Tar

From my Galaxy of Tar website.

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Model Tips: On Relationships & Success

Me and friends and readers at Face It Boutique, owned by Cherie Scalzi, an amazing partner for a recent book signing experience in Sacramento! Relationships made this experience work!

In this installment of my Model Tips I want to discuss the importance of maintaining healthy relationships. People underestimate the importance of this in the development of their careers. Yet building positive and healthy relationships is the key to a successful career!

I would love to hear your perspective or stories about relationships and how good or bad ones have helped or hurt your own career. Share those stories here at the Fan Corner. Your feedback and sharing your stories is how we grow and connect.

All my best-

Naima

Maintaining Healthy Relationships 

Somewhere along the line of development in the fashion and entertainment industry, it became very popular to be what people refer to as a “DIVA.” This word originally stemming from the Latin word of “devi” for goddess. In today’s pop culture it has more of a connotation of someone who is arrogant, self-absorbed and cruel to others with an heir of condescendence or superiority.

At the last modeling agency I worked with I was having hard time booking jobs for a few months. I sat down with my agent and asked her what the response was from the go sees and castings I had been attending. She told me that a few of the clients told her that I “needed to be more of a Diva.”

Now I have always strived to be kind and polite to everyone I meet. That includes casting agents and potential clients, because I think everyone deserves that. So when my agent told me that people were saying I should be more of a “Diva,” I was confused.

I didn’t believe that I needed to do that then, and I still don’t think I need to change my attitude towards people now. I strongly believe that most of my success and the jobs I have been fortunate to book can be attributed to my humility and respect for people.

It takes some maturity, however, to gain humility and respect. I didn’t understand when I first began modeling how this would affect my career. I was always very kind to those I worked with, but a lot of times I was unappreciative.

I signed to FORD Models in New York City after I won America’s Next Top Model. I booked some jobs with them, but I am almost definitely sure that my lack of appreciation for the hard work my agent was putting in and for the clients who chose to book me affected my potential for booking more work.

Steps to Healthy Relationships

As I grew a little older and gained more responsibility and life experience, I began to understand what it means to have the fortune of working as a professional model.

First, I began to not only show people respect through kindness, but to also be honest and show my appreciation. 

A lot of work I have booked since then has been through referral. I worked with one client and a few weeks later someone would call and ask if I were interested in another job offer. They would recount to me that my previous client was a mutual acquaintance and that they highly recommended me for the job. It’s flattering, but it goes to show just how much small acts of kindness, respect, and appreciation can go in building a successful career.

All these simple acts help at building good work relationships but the first healthy relationship you must begin to build is with yourself!

It’s a long journey sometimes, but you must remember that happiness comes from within and to respect, appreciate and treat yourself with as much if not more kindness as you would a stranger.

The second healthy relationship you must build like this is with your agency. Your agency is comprised of the people that represent you and who will introduce you to the fashion industry. You must place a certain amount of trust in them.

Always be honest with them about your feelings and your plans. If you plan on cutting your hair, discuss this with them and come to a conclusive decision about what is best for your career. If you are planning a vacation, let them know.

If you feel you should change your look, let them know. If you need to “booked out” or take some time off, let them know. It is so important to be honest with your agency. Beyond this, show them respect and appreciation.

The third ingredient is about your client and the staff of people you work with. Simple ways at showing your respect and appreciation on a modeling job is arriving on time and in the best shape you can. Partying the night before a job or big casting is not such a good idea, although it may be very tempting. Trust me there will always be another party!

Another way is to help the team you work with on set. You can help the stylist to hang the wardrobe. You can ask the makeup artist if they would like any water. You can send your client a Thank You note after the shoot is finished.

You can actually say “Thank You” to everyone for all their hard work and to your agent as well for helping you to book the job. Small actions go a very, very long way.

All in all, I have found that the more  you strive at building healthy and positive relationships within yourself and with those you work with, the more success you will encounter- regardless of your profession. For more advice on building healthy relationships within your career as a model in the fashion industry and other great tips, please consider purchasing my book MODEL BEHAVIOR!

 

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How To Get Past Dyslexia to Find Hidden Talents

Would a learning disability, called Dyslexia, found in all members of the family effect a child’s ability to learn their own native tongue, English?  This is the story of Linsey Daman, who fought past dyslexia to find inner talents and strength. She is courageous, driven, and an inspiration to us all.

-Naima Mora

Linsey Daman

“Please allow me to introduce myself; my name is Linsey Daman, Director, Cultural Arts Center of St. Louis, LLC.  I am admittedly dyslexic with a long lineage of severe dyslexia on my father’s side and even a slight possibility of it on my mother’s side.  My mother had hoped that maybe it had skipped a generation but unfortunately it hadn’t.

During my early years of education, neither my mother nor teachers were aware of my condition until that day where the simplest homework assignments started to become more challenging.  This was the first sign that something might not be quite right.

Learning even my native tongue, English, was a difficult challenge when I was young. Several teachers thought I would never truly comprehend the language or always suffer with spelling and grammar mistakes.  Other teachers forced me to seek additional help with reading and see a language specialist after school hours.

They were concerned if this language learning problem wasn’t addressed early on that I might not be able to fully advance mentally and therefore threatened to keep me back a year in school.  Scared with all the threats, I eagerly signed up for a reading specialist to assist me with these challenges.  I remember very clearly that I couldn’t read with ease and stuttered on every word.  The other children in my class always teased and picked on me horribly due to these mumbled speech errors.

I still don’t enjoy reading out loud to this day due to the sheer fear and panic these grade school teachers had instilled in me.  The school even had me attending special reading classes separate from the normal class, which made me feel awkward and “the odd one out” when I was separated from everyone for reading time.

I didn’t feel as bad about the after school hours with the reading specialist because it was done in a private lesson format.  Hence, no one other than the teacher, my mother and the school district knew about these sessions.  Therefore, I felt like I could hide my disability a little bit more than being publicly separated from the other kids in the 4th grade.  After what I felt were endless sessions, I finally was able to stop the special tutoring after school program.  I moved onto the 5th grade and took things slowly, but in stride.

I was picked on quite a bit in the younger grades, which didn’t help my already deflated ego due to my inability to read without falling all over my words.  Math however was probably the worst childhood difficulty that I faced over all.

I specifically remember a time when a teacher had out a very complex puzzle in the back of a room and I was sitting in front of it with a headache.  What was challenging to me was a cake-walk for the majority of the students in the class.  I couldn’t concentrate well and all of the colors ran together.  All of the other girls were putting pieces into this extremely large, brightly colored puzzle and I felt like I was the only one who couldn’t see the edges of the shapes correctly.

I remember the reds and the greens ran together and all of the colors were in a complete blur.  Now as an adult, I look at this incident and consider it to be “sensory overload” because there were too many bright colors clashing, sharp edges and loud background noise to concentrate.  A migraine formed due to the stress, loud noise and color complexity.

How do you make sense of something you don’t understand yourself?  I was too embarrassed to ask for help so I attempted to take a piece and put it in the puzzle.  Of course, it didn’t fit and I remember trying to make it fit but it wouldn’t work.  I attempted to force or push the puzzle piece into a place that simply wasn’t going to allow it and therefore it bent the nimble edges resulting in ruining the puzzle piece’s integrity.

I also remember being even more embarrassed for trying because I thought everyone noticed and would think of me as a failure.  I began to cry over this event, but did not go into full tears; just a little wetness around the corner of my eyes and that was that.  Luckily no one noticed these tears, as far as I was aware.

In high school, I remember going to classes feeling foggy, dizzy, my mind was cloudy and confused.  Was this the dyslexia talking or was this something more sinister at work here?  Was I truly “slow” like so many of my teachers predicted?  I remember having to work twice or three times as hard to memorize facts, dates and information for tests.  I mainly used my photographic memory to get through school.

I still use this gift to this day and it has come in handy many times, especially in high school.  A lot of times when I was in too much pain to think clearly I just thought about my notes and tried to recreate the paper in my mind.

I remember as if it were yesterday, I used to take these long walks to study information and memorize test information.  I talked to many leaning specialists and everyone advised against me walking and studying because they thought it would be too distracting for the normal learner let alone me.  I chose to listen to my instincts and I began walking with my handwritten notes from class.

I was so determined to beat this condition, disability, challenge, whatever you call it that I even walked in the rain sometimes.  I remember my papers would become runny with the ink but I didn’t care because I was focused on learning.  Up to this point, I’d tried all of the conventional learning methods and nothing worked really well so I thought it might be worth a try.  My mother recommended it to me as a way to help me target my learning ability.  This technique of walking and studying helped me more than anything any other educational advisor had mentioned before.

HOW DID I DO IT?

When it came time to taking the first test after using this new learning method, I remembered the information perfectly.  I was shocked that despite the fact I was taking the test with a migraine I could recall information during this time of pain.  Normally I just gave into the pain and basically gave up on the test but this time I decided to fight the pain and the dizziness and work through it.  When a question was asked on the test and if I didn’t know it I recalled the wet papers from my long walk and I remembered the placement of where the subject was on the paper.

For example, if the question was about something British, I remembered that the word British appeared once on the top of page 9 and hence I closed my eyes and asked myself to re-read page 9 of my notes.  I was then able to pull up a photocopy of page 9 in my brain and re-read the exact wording from the notes.  From this, I had the answer in my head and wrote in the correct response on the test.

This is truly a gift, especially when accomplished during sheer pain of a migraine.  This moment in high school Psychology was when I realized that I might have a gift.  I believed up to this point that I had been cursed on many levels but in actuality I had a true and rare gift that could be used for good.  If I only knew about it sooner it probably could have made my younger grades easier.  However, I felt it was better late than never to discover your talents. ”

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Do you have story to share about a truth about your life and experience that can help someone else? Share that story here with me in my Fan Corner.

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Be Yourself

We can grow, learn and evolve, but ultimately we are who we are. Be yourself, always.

After winning America’s Next Top Model, I have modeled successfully throughout the years. Modeling is an amazing job. It’s fun and exciting. I love traveling and meeting new people as part of the job. I love working with other creative people on set to develop their concepts for a photo shoot. That says a lot about me and who I ultimately am – a creative person.

Me on alumni day of my old ballet school Ballet Renaissance in Detroit. Notice the smiles…

Before I modeled, I was a ballet dancer- an artist. I was also a creative writing major at the City College of New York. Just because I model, it does not make me less of an artist. Modeling is great, but it does not allow me the space and opportunity to create my own art. In music and in writing I have that space.

I love writing for music. Music allows me the opportunity to write lyrics and paint stories in a harmonic way. Performing allows me the opportunity to express this writing in a visceral and physical way. Unfortunately, I have been judged and ridiculed for following this artistic endeavor of mine.

“Our potential as human beings is both wide and extensive, even though I find it natural for people to want to ‘box’ things (including themselves) into categories they can easily understand. That’s only because people fall into the habit of judging what is unknown based on their personal comfort level with it, rather than having an open mind and using their imagination to see the potential of new ideas.” (Naima Mora: Model Behavior)

Sister time with my sister Ife! Who like me is always herself! I love that about her…

I am who I am and I do what I love with a lot of love. I will never apologize for this or give up on my artistic aspirations because others judge and ridicule me. I know that everything I create will not be to the liking of other people.

It doesn’t matter because I do what I love to make me happy. Ultimately I hope that pursuing my happiness will in turn, affect others in a positive way. We must be true to ourselves and strongly believe in ourselves.

We must be open to constructive criticism and willing to grow, but never allowing ourselves to be swayed by negativity and judgment of others. What is your story about being yourself? Share it with me here in the Fan Corner and I will pubish it!

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Making Healthy Lifestyle Changes

Headed into spring and it’s no time like the present to get healthy. I discuss healthy lifestyle changes in “Model Behavior,” and here are some tips to create healthy lifestyle changes by Diane Renz, L.P.C. Visit her Gatewaytohealing.com website for more information. – Naima Mora

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Diane Renz, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist in private practice. Photo courtesy of allthingshealing.com.

“Lifestyle changes begin with setting Intention. If you don’t have an intention, it easy to lose commitment to action. Intention is not a goal but an overarching frame for the “why” of doing something. For example, someone might have a goal of losing weight, but an overarching intention of feeling well, with more vitality for life and relationship, to live a fuller life.

Next is making a “doable” commitment for at least a period of 21 days or more. It helps to name this as your 21 day challenge. If you know you have a challenge with a time limit, you can hang in day by day knowing that you are running an experiment to see what outcomes you might have at the end of the 21 days. Having said that, if you fall off your commitment, you do not need to ditch the entire remaining days; all you need to do is just “begin again”, right here and right now. Be sure to specifically name your commitment to action that you will do each day.

Write the intention and the commitment down. Not just once, but every day. It really is the way to stay focused on what you are wanting in your life. It doesn’t take long to jot down. For example: my intention is to feel more positive, my commitment is to go to sleep by 10pm each night and prior to sleep name with specificity and sincerity what I am grateful for.

Lifestyle changes come over time, a steady turn of habits. This is crucial to remember because the trends, fads, diets, and gusto and excitement of the latest new idea fade quickly and is not user friendly. We have spent many years if not decades “cultivating” habits, behaviors, ways of thinking, that require a steady action to recalibrate. We need to “cultivate” new habits, like a new language, or learning how to play a musical instrument–we don’t just do it, we cultivate it.

Using the analogy of cultivating a garden, we plant the seed in soil we have prepared to receive it, our job then is to water, provide light, fertilizer, and keep the weeds from overtaking. We don’t then pull at the seedling and force it to grow; we create an environment that is conducive for it to thrive.

Intention, commitment, cultivation.

And then you must practice:
 On a daily basis choose what you are ready to implement and practice, practice, practice. It is not supposed to feel good right away. In fact, as you make healthier changes in your life, often you might initially feel worse. Some of this is related to becoming more aware and less sedated by negative behaviors, some has to do with physical toxicity, some to do with the aches and pains of newness, etc. This is why commitment is crucial and to stay focused on the “why” of what you are doing to stay the course.

Some options for living your best healthy lifestyle include:

•  Begin and end each day with contemplative practice: Mindful breath, mediation, prayer, focusing and connecting to whatever you sense as the essence of you, you can call it spirit if comfortable. Bookend your days with this stillness. This can really help you stay connected to what is essential to your wholeness. (health and healing really means a return to wholeness)

•  Movement everyday (notice I use the word movement v. exercise). Movement can be of body, of bowels, of breath, of feelings, of expression……”illness comes from stagnation and healing from movement”

•  Aerobic movement for at least 30 minutes daily. Move and stretch throughout the day for better heart health and serotonin levels

•  Practice gratitude: become acutely aware of the simple pleasures and abundance of your life

•  Smile (sounds easy, but try it when you least feel like it, it has positive change in nervous system and reinforms negativity bias)

•  Practice Loving Kindness (try to wish yourself good things instead of the negative self-talk, then extend to others)

•  Eat colorful natural foods and begin with good breakfast, essential for brain health and good metabolism (if you are skipping breakfast to lose weight it will have the opposite effect). Eat throughout the day with conscious awareness, 3 meals, 2 snacks, stop eating 2 hours prior to sleep to aide in better sleep.

•  Take breathing breaks throughout the day: begin with an exhale when feeling stress, it allows you to release and makes room for nice deep natural inhale. You can try the famous 4,7,8 breath I learned for Dr Andrew Weil, but has been a practice for over 2000 years. Tip of tongue placed behind two front teeth as fleshy bump, blow out and you will feel the wosh around your tongue, breathe in to count of 4, hold count of 7, exhale count of 8 for 4 rounds—serves to reduce urges and relieve anxiety and balance the nervous system.

•  Take time outside with nature. Nature is resilient and in rhythm. We lose ourselves with late nights, non-nutritious foods, lack of movement, excessive anxiety, etc. When we spend time in nature we can attune to its rhythms because they are our own.

•  Everyday be sure you are making contact with someone in a positive way. We are social creatures and thrive with good contact. Often food cravings and binges are really related to the need for love. When we give and receive kindness and contact we thrive, our oxytocin and serotonin levels go up bringing feelings of well- being and desire for attachment.

•  Find what is FUN. Simple moments of fun like doing a puzzle, kicking a ball around, dancing to your favorite tune. It does not have to be a big activity but is essential for overall health and balance to play each day.

•  Focus on your work, whatever is before you, whether it is a major business meeting, or a pile of laundry, give it your full attention and focus. Be present to the task, and then you can clearly define when you are working and when you are playing. (Multi-tasking truly does not work, our brains do not function at optimal level and nothing gets done well, focusing on one task is good for the health of your brain). Finding the balance of work and play is essential daily practice.

•  Be sure to sleep at least 7-9 hours per night and that you sleep before midnight for your biorhythm health. It is fun to experiment with earlier bedtime and waking with the light, letting your body find its way back to what is natural. (lost sleep can lead to weight gain do to less leptin in the brain that indicates fullness)

•  More on sleep, limit computer technology and stop 2 hours prior to sleep. The electromagnetic field and light diminishes your melatonin levels (neurotransmitter inducing sleep state) and throws your nervous system into an active state.

In summary: 
Eat well, Sleep well, Move well, Breathe well, Be still, Play, Smile, Focus love and gratitude, Connect to others.
So here you have a few ideas to start with. Make it simple, choose three things you can commit to daily for the next 21 days and see what you cultivate. There is no reason to give up because you always have the next new moment to begin again.

What ways do you already work to get or stay healthy?”

This article is excerpted from Yourgatewaytohealing.com.

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