April Aasheim's Blog, page 14

Excerpt: The Universe is a Very Big Place

2005“What do you mean you’re moving?” Pete was chucking rocks at an old tombstone, trying to lodge out ghosts. Fortunately for the sleeping dead, most of them missed.“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” John said. “It’s disrespectful.”“What are they gonna do? Haunt me?” Pete laughed but let the rocks tumble from his hand and onto the ground. John shrugged. A haunting might do Pete some good, actually.“This place is gonna suck if you go,” Pete said, pulling down his zipper, looking for a place to piss. He might have relieved himself on one of the headstones had John not given him the disapproving eye. John took in the view of the cemetery. He and Pete had been coming here for the last twenty years and it pained him a little to think that those days would soon end. “I have to go. This place…it’s death to me. Death to my soul.”Pete laughed. “Death of your soul, man? What the hell have you been reading?” He rubbed his nose with his hand, not caring that he had just held his pecker with that very appendage. “You just need to get laid.”“That’s not what I mean.”“Is this about Mara? I told you, it was an accident. You didn’t want her anyway. My dick‘s still burning.” If Pete were any other man in the universe John would have hit him. Mara had been a girl he really liked, but of course, like all the other women in Samson, she had a thing for Pete.“It’s not about Mara. It’s about living my life. I’m 26 years old, living in my brother’s old trailer, working a dead-end factory job. I’ve never been in love. I’ve never climbed a mountain. And the only adventure I’ve ever had was getting lost in the corn maze at the state fair.”Pete snorted. “Yeah, that was funny. You cried like a little girl ‘til we found you.” Pete let out a big laugh and slapped his leg. “You read too many books. But whatever you want, man. I aint gonna try and stop you from following your dreams.” John found this uncharacteristic display of Pete’s humanity creepy, yet touching. The two had grown up together and Pete rarely supported anything that did not somehow support Pete. “So where you gonna go then? Colorado?” Pete turned his attention on John, his tone more than curious.John reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small section of the Samson Weekly. “No. There’s a recruiter in Evansville looking for people with computer graphics skills to work for a new company in Arizona. I might apply.”“Arizona?” Pete’s words were heavy with disbelief. “You know how fucking hot it is in Arizona? Your pansy ass can’t take the Indiana summers, let alone an Arizona summer. Besides, thought you wanted to be a real artist anyway.”John shrugged. “It’s a start and better than sweating away in a factory. And how is it you know so much about Arizona?”“My cousin lives there. Remember Amy? The girl who finally took your virginity?”John blushed. Amy had been his first real girlfriend but before the end of their Junior year her family had moved away. They say you never forgot your first love. Amy had been his only love, if you could call it that. On some especially lonely nights John still thought about her and wondered what she was up to. “I visited her a few years ago during the Fourth of July. You don’t even need matches to start fireworks out there. They ignite all by themselves.” Pete laughed again and almost chucked another rock. He caught himself and aimed it at a scampering squirrel in the field instead. Fortunately for the squirrel, Pete had a hard time hitting a stationary target, let alone a moving one.“Well, it’s gotta be better than this. You hear all anyone’s talking about lately? Harnessing the power of corn and cow farts to save the world. I want no part of it.” John looked past the tombstones, past the gate that opened to the park, past the houses and farms that sat just up the road. In his mind’s eye he knew every detail of this town: every house, every field, every signpost. His mother said that someday he would appreciate the security of the familiarity, but he hadn’t gotten there yet.Pete roused him from his thoughts. “Wanna hang out at the VW tonight? Jessica’s back from school and I bet she’s looking to get lucky. Can’t believe she went to an all-girl’s college. Anyway, you can have her this time. I think she’s bringing a friend.” Pete jingled the coins in his pocket and cocked a mischievous eyebrow towards John.John cringed and shook his head. Pete had been with every girl in Samson. Twice. His claim to fame was that he had, at one time or another acquired every venereal disease the free clinic could treat, and a few they couldn’t. The last thing he wanted was to touch anyone or anything that Pete had laid his penis on. That was another good reason to move away. “No thanks. You can give me the details tomorrow.”“Suit yourself,” said Pete, popping open the last of the six pack they had brought with them. “More for me. But remember, man. You can’t find adventure. You have to make it.”John nodded, gathered up the empty cans, and made his way home wondering if his TV would be able to pick up The Wheel of Fortune or if it would be scrambled again.
***
From: The Universe is a Very Big Place

Lack of Pinterest

A few weekends ago I had my first sighting of what can only be described as 'Pinterest Hair'. Two young girls with clear skin sat across from me in the bleachers at a college football game, their hair elaborately done in pins and swirls, clips and curls, partly up and partly down. They had this modern/gothic/romantic/medieval hair thing going. And they were wearing football jerseys. The overall look was interesting, and disconcerting.

Now that I'm paying more attention I can see that others are hopping on the Pinterest train too, wearing makeup, hairstyles, and fashion they couldn't have come up with by themselves; serving meals that would shame Martha Stewart, decorating for kids parties like it was a cotillion, and even changing up their home to look like the interior of a castle rather than the one bedroom studio apartment it really is. They plan their engagements, weddings and honeymoons according to what is fabulous on Pinterest. And heaven help the boy who doesn't play along in their Pinterest Fantasy. All in the name of keeping up with the Kardashians.

Pinterest has done what magazines and advertisers have tried to do for years and years. It has become life.

Pinterest boards remind me of the 1950's advertising campaigns aimed at women...if everyone else is doing it you need to also. What would the neighbors think? Women beat themselves up to create the 'perfect life', two beautiful kids, a well-mannered husband, and all the brand new kitchen appliances a girl could ask for. Isn't that all you need to make your life just swell?

But, like advertising days of old, trying to achieve the image that's on the screen will eventually wear you down, body and soul. Have you ever seen a 50's movie where the woman had her perfect life but still dropped two pills into her martini the second Bob wasn't looking?

 It's fun for a while, we have to remember that Pinterest, like commercials, is all smoke and mirrors. These pictures were put up by creative pros, not normal people.

I have nothing against Pinterest. I put my books and my blog entries on Pinterest. BUT I think it's important that we see it for what it really is, glimpses into a fantasy world. Real women don't walk around in fog all day, with a castle in the distance, perfectly braided hair, bare faced except for lipstick, wearing a golden cape and fabulous boots. It looks cool, but it just doesn't happen. At least, not in my neighborhood.

So I say stop the pinterest hair. Stop it now, before you get all tangled up in the fantasy and forget what real life is all about.


Got Pinterest Hair? How about Pinterest boobs?

Life as Pinterest

A few weekends ago I had my first sighting of what can only be described as 'Pinterest Hair'. Two young girls with clear skin sat across from me in the bleachers at a college football game, their hair elaborately done in pins and swirls, clips and curls, partly up and partly down. They had this modern/gothic/romantic/medieval hair thing going. And they were wearing football jerseys. The overall look was interesting, and disconcerting.

Now that I'm paying more attention I can see that others are hopping on the Pinterest train too, wearing makeup, hairstyles, and fashion they couldn't have come up with by themselves; serving meals that would shame Martha Stewart, decorating for kids parties like it was a cotillion, and even changing up their home to look like the interior of a castle rather than the one bedroom studio apartment it really is. They plan their engagements, weddings and honeymoons according to what is fabulous on Pinterest. And heaven help the boy who doesn't play along in their Pinterest Fantasy. All in the name of keeping up with the Kardashians.

Pinterest has done what magazines and advertisers have tried to do for years and years. It has become life.

Pinterest boards remind me of the 1950's advertising campaigns aimed at women...if everyone else is doing it you need to also. What would the neighbors think? Women beat themselves up to create the 'perfect life', two beautiful kids, a well-mannered husband, and all the brand new kitchen appliances a girl could ask for. Isn't that all you need to make your life just swell?

But, like advertising days of old, trying to achieve the image that's on the screen will eventually wear you down, body and soul. Have you ever seen a 50's movie where the woman had her perfect life but still dropped two pills into her martini the second Bob wasn't looking?

 It's fun for a while, we have to remember that Pinterest, like commercials, is all smoke and mirrors. These pictures were put up by creative pros, not normal people.

I have nothing against Pinterest. I put my books and my blog entries on Pinterest. BUT I think it's important that we see it for what it really is, glimpses into a fantasy world. Real women don't walk around in fog all day, with a castle in the distance, perfectly braided hair, bare faced except for lipstick, wearing a golden cape and fabulous boots. It looks cool, but it just doesn't happen. At least, not in my neighborhood.

So I say stop the pinterest hair. Stop it now, before you get all tangled up in the fantasy and forget what real life is all about.

 Got Pinterest Hair? How about Pinterest boobs?

Ten Tips for Surviving Nanowrimo

Do you have a book in your head that you’re going to write someday? Are you sure that the next best-seller could be yours if you could just get it all out of your head and down on paper? Then join thousands of other aspiring authors as they embark on Nanowrimo-a month long trek to start, and finish, a novel of at least 50,000 words.
Nanowrimo stands for National Novel Writing Month. Since its inception in 1999, its popularity has been steadily growing as people from around the world decide to take the challenge. The rules are simple: Begin writing your novel on November 1st and finish writing it by November 30th (or are at least get your 50,000 words done).
Want to give it a try? Here are ten tips that may help you survive the madness that is Nanowrimo.
1.       Register at https://nanowrimo.org. This is the official Nanowrimo site. There you will meet other Nanos and receive community support, feedback, and resources to help keep you on track. Though it’s perfectly acceptable to tackle Nanowrimo alone, it’s also nice to have some friends along for the ride. As the saying goes, ‘misery loves company’.
2.       Be frugal with what you share. Sure it’s fun to post your awesome opening sentence, a paragraph you are particularly proud of, or how you came up with protagonist’s background, but there will always be someone around(particularly in the online world) hell bent on tearing you down or offering you  unsolicited ‘constructive criticism’ This also goes for sharing your work with your family and friends. Even the most supportive loved ones can throw you for a loop when they attempt to ‘help’. So, until you are really comfortable with your story, think about keeping it to yourself.
3.       Budget your word count.  You have 30 days to write 50,000 words. That’s about 1666 words per day. Can you manage that? If not, how else can you budget your word count in order to hit your target?  I personally like to make a spreadsheet and tape it to the refrigerator. Every day I color in a cell corresponding to how many words I wrote (with my stepdaughter’s crayon). It’s a fun way to track my progress and it makes me feel like I’ve actually accomplished something.
4.       Take it scene by scene. Writing a novel is exhausting, both mentally and physically. It can take its toll on your health, your work, and your social life. One way to keep things in perspective is to focus on just one scene at a time. It can be 300 words or 3000 and you can make it as fun, interesting, and colorful as you want it to be. Eventually, you will put all these scenes together and like magic, you have your book.
5.       Stop comparing yourself to others. Some people are better writers than me. Some people can produce more words per day than I can. Some people will have a much easier time with the whole ‘writing thing’ than I do.  So what? I’m still me and I’m doing what I can do. That’s all anyone can ask of me, right? That goes for you too. And while we’re talking about this, please stop trying to copy the style of one of your favorite authors. If someone wants to read Tolkien, they will read Tolkien. If you’re not being true to yourself you’re depriving the world of getting to know you. Do you want that on your writer’s conscience?
6.       Don’t look back! There will be times when you doubt what you’ve written or the direction your book has taken. But don’t go back to fix things. Now is the time to write, as fast and furiously as you can. When I need to make changes to my book during the first draft I jot down notes on a pad of paper I keep close to my computer, then when I’m rewriting (second draft) I refer to them. You can come up with your own system, but don’t stop moving forward or you will never make your 50,000 word goal.
7.       Stay the course. There may be times (especially in the middle of your novel) when that brilliant idea you had in the beginning now seems lackluster, trite, and dull. Then suddenly, you will get an idea that’s even more brilliant than the last. Don’t even think about it (write it on your notepad for later. When you are done with this novel you can start on your next).
Keep working on your original book. Your brain might be telling you to abandon ship but that’s because it’s mulled your story over too many times. Your brain, like an adolescent boy, is always looking for excitement. Be the grownup in the writing relationship and stay with it. If your novel is truly horrible when you’re done (and your brain was right), you can fix it. That’s what second, and third, and fourth drafts are for.
8.       Don’t edit when writing. That means leave spelling and grammatical errors alone, even when they are painful to look at. Don’t polish up sentences. Ignore goofs. You can fix it all later. In fact, if you wanted to, you could spend your whole life fixing it. As the saying goes, a project is never done, merely abandoned. I promise the errors will still be there when you return to them, and most likely you will find even more. By waiting you can see them with fresh eyes, and fix everything at once. (If you absolutely must for sanity’s sake, you can run a spell and grammar check each day, but that’s all).
9.       Make writing a priority. Life is going to happen. Kids get sick. The dog needs walking. And sadly, dinner doesn’t cook itself. But don’t use life as an excuse. Carve out the time to write and stick to it (see Tip #3). Tell others that you are serious about this. Your family and friends may joke about it or even tease you. They may be jealous that you are working on your own goals or not spending as much time with them as you used to.  They might not understand how important writing your novel is to you. Make them. When I first started writing I endured these sorts of distractions and ribbings. Now, those nearest and dearest to me, understand how important this is and they give me space, time, AND compliments for following my dreams. Whoa! What a turn around. But you must stand up for yourself. If you don’t take it seriously, no one else will.
10.   Be kind to yourself. Don’t hate your book. Remember, this is a first draft, and the first step towards a new dream. Shower yourself with support: take breaks, get exercise, eat well, chat with your pals, and give yourself a hug. Writing 50,000 words in one month is a big deal. Celebrate your accomplishment.  You’re in an elite group. And, like you, your novel is a work in progress.

The Witches of Dark Root. Just 99 Cents!

Halloween Special!
Download
The Witches of Dark Root for just $0.99 through November 1st.

Just 99 Cents!

Halloween Special!
Download
The Witches of Dark Root for just $0.99 through November 1st.

Candy Crush Your Soul

It started out as a simple game and now it's taken my soul: Candy Crush.

I avoided it for so long, poo-pooing it whenever a Facebook friend would send me a request. After all, if its that popular, it cant be good. Right?

But now, I've found myself addicted, playing during commercial breaks, at red lights, and whenever my husband isn't saying something interesting at dinner. But the game is insidious. You can only play for so long before it cuts you off.

Next life in 54 minutes it tells me.

I've created things to do while waiting for said next life: wash dishes, vacuum, clean the toilet. In Candy Crush's defense, my house has never looked so clean.

But last night I hit a new level on the game and I beat it. And Candy Crush didn't just cut me off for an hour, it cut me off for an entire day.

"Come back in 24 hours for your next quest."

Mother F...

Of course, the beauty of this 'free' app is that you can spam your social media friends with requests for tickets and extra lives and even things that will make winning easier. Then they can get infected by the bug. Its a never ending trap.

But I haven't resorted to that. Yet. In 8 more hours I get to play again. I can last that long. There's a yard that needs to be weeded and a cat I haven't fed in several days. I have things I can do. I can make it.

I have become a Crombie (a Candy Crush Zombie). And I have joined my tribe.

The Magic of Dark Root - 1/3 of the way through 1st draft

I just wrote 3500 words on the sequel to The Witches of Dark Root. I'm officially (or unofficially) at the 1/3 mark through the first draft. Going to do my best to push through and finish this draft by the end of November. I'd love to be able to take a few weeks off writing in December and just let it sit before beginning the daunting process of the second draft, where I try and fix the mistakes of the first. But that's a ways off.
I'm really looking forward to this book being done. There's a lot more magic in here and Maggie wrestles with the age old human dilemma of figuring out 'what this all means'. I hope I can pull it off.

White Noise Apps I Wouldn't Want to Hear

I just got back from a long weekend with extended family. While it was fun I couldn't help but miss my own bed, and the fan that runs while I sleep, providing some white noise relief. I was told that you could get apps for your phone that would also work to give you that background noise. There were options for running water, gong chimes, and thunder, but sadly, these couldn't quite compete with my own fan. While contemplating these lesser noises, I came up with my own list I think they should make. While they might not provide a great night's sleep, they'd be pretty fricken funny.



The Worst White Noise App Sounds Ever:

Cat fightSneakers in the dryerAudience of the Jerry Springer ShowBluetooth man at the grocery storeCrazy old woman on the busBawling babiesSmoke detector with low batteriesYoung mother giving her child to the count of 14 to behaveGrandpa regaling youngsters with his 'Tales from Nam'Pudding hour at the Sunny Dales home for retireesAny Miley Cyrus television interview

FREE TO DOWNLOAD OCT 17-19, 2013

The Witches of Dark Root is FREE on Amazon Oct 17-19 in preparation for the release of it's sequel: The Magick of Dark Root (out Spring 2014).

Feel free to download and let others know. If you enjoy the book please spread the word and consider writing a review on Amazon or Goodreads.

Thanks for all the wonderful support you have given me.

The Witches of Dark Root