Emerald's Blog, page 30
July 27, 2011
Recommended Reading #57: Men, Pt. II
"Why Men Should Join SlutWalk" by Hugo Schwyzer (Sex and Culture, Gender socialization, Sociology, Psychology) 5/24/11
One of my favorite points in this piece is one I feel Hugo stresses repeatedly: the falsity of the pernicious (and vicious, it seems to me) myth that human male "biology" makes it so that men are uncontrollable when aroused and/or that they only respect what they don't lust after, and vice versa. The idea strikes me as ludicrous and dangerous, and I like Hugo's offering around it in this piece, as well as the other perspectives he delineates.
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"Male Self-Pleasure Myths" by Hugo Schwyzer (Masturbation, Gender Socialization, Sex Toys) 5/16/11
Especially since I agree with the perspective(s) I interpret as offered in this piece that male sexuality has traditionally been perceived in an oversimplified way, I really appreciate explorations that recognize the complexity of it. As a side note, I have not usually featured more than one piece by the same author in a RR post, but on the subject at hand, I like very much what Hugo has to say in both of these pieces (this one actually quotes Charlie too, so it's like combining the authors of the other two pieces together :)).
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"The Performance of Masculinity" by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Gender socialization, Sociology) 5/6/11
I found this a riveting and insightful expose on our culture's expectations and perceptions of masculinity with an overall tone (that I immensely appreciate) cognizant of the detriment of rigid (and, as far as I'm concerned, arbitrary) gender socialization.
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July 22, 2011
A Release at Good Vibrations Magazine!
I am delighted to say that I have a brand new story, "Release," up at Good Vibrations Magazine today! I am such a fan of Good Vibrations Magazine and continue to find it an honor to be published there amongst the extraordinary bloggers and fellow authors regularly featured on it.
"Release" is live now and may be found right here! :)
Love,
Emerald
I remember when I first found myself attracted to you, moments after I met you on one of the first trips I made to your city. I almost brushed it off, thinking in perhaps even a condescending way that sexually, you weren't likely to understand or be willing to give me what I wanted.
The degree to which I was wrong still surprises me. You, who seemed so unlike that outside of sex, so quiet, so polite, so demure—you understood right away. I didn't even have to explain it to you. I just had to let you know.
-from "Release"
July 20, 2011
Recommended Reading #56: Sexual Hysteria
"California School Claims Its Own Yearbook is Child Porn" by Thomas Roche (Youth, Sex and Culture) 7/17/11
As usual, I find Thomas's writing on a topic of interest to me both engrossing and entertaining. That the yearbook photo in question is referred to as child pornography seems to me an extraordinary demonstration of the sexual hysteria to which this week's Recommended Reading is devoted. I particularly appreciate Thomas's pointing out that "[C]alling the material 'child porn' is killing a mosquito with a howitzer. It's insulting to any child or teen who's been the victim of actual exploitation." Indeed—one of the risks of our cultural hysteria around sex, it seems to me, is that our understanding and perception of true cases of assault, exploitation, or coercion may decrease in the context of the frivolous conflation of so many instances not being these things but being labeled as such.
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"Melissa Farley and the US Government Want You to Stop Buying Sex" by Laura Agustin (Sex Work, Government, Sex and Culture) 7/19/11
This reportage by Laura Agustin seems quite indicative of the hysteria in which this culture seems (to me) steeped around sex. In this case, adults rather than minors are the concern, with the target purportedly being sex trafficking. What I find disturbing, of course, is that no reference to or apparent allowance of consensual sex work is included anywhere in the supplied (U.S.) governmental diatribe. The theory seems to be that eliminating "demand" for commercial sexual services will eradicate sex trafficking. I wondered as soon as I read the first sentence of the government statement if there are plans in the works to reduce demand for farm labor, manual labor, and domestic work (all areas in which human trafficking also occurs).
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"Sex laws: Unjust and ineffective" at The Economist (Law, Sexual Abuse, Politics, Sex and Culture, Youth) 8/6/09
The laws around what are purported to be sexual offenses and the corresponding system of compulsory registration of sex offenders is, to me, rife with evidence of our hysteria around sexuality. In some cases, I feel the laws for "offenses" represent inappropriate governmental intrusiveness (see the line about men procuring the services of prostitutes being required to register as sex offenders, as well as those who engaged in consensual "underage" sex because they were below the governmentally-applied age to be able to consent to sex [18]), making the, in some states, lifelong registration as a sex offender an astonishing sign of something quite amiss. In addition, as the article points out: "If there are thousands of offenders on a registry, it is harder to keep track of the most dangerous ones." (Which seems to somewhat defeat the purported purpose of the registry.)
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July 19, 2011
Out Now and Coming Soon! :)
Obsessed is here! Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel announced yesterday that her latest erotic romance anthology, Obsessed, is in stock now on Amazon! Publisher Cleis Press also lists it as available now, so it has been officially released a couple weeks early (it was due in August)!
Obsessed includes my story "Then" (which I mentioned previously happens to be a "sequel" story to "If," which was published last year in Rachel's erotic romance anthology Passion), and I am delighted that it is included in this collection. The table of contents, introduction, and a list of retailers may all be found here on the book's website. Rachel is also planning an Obessed book release party to be held Thursday, August 25! Details (like time) to be announced—keep an eye on this page.
In other news, I am completely thrilled that I will have a story in the forthcoming anthology One Night Only: Erotic Encounters, edited by Violet Blue! I am very excited to be part of this collection and am downright giddy that Violet chose to include my story "City Girl" in it. The publication (by Cleis Press) date for One Night Only is set right now at January 2012. I haven't seen the table of contents, so I don't know who else is in it, but I adore the theme (and the cover!), and I can hardly wait to receive and read it next year!
Yay and yay! ;)
Love,
Emerald
I expected to feel nervous, anticipated the adrenaline as I stood in Hayden's bedroom. But as my eyes locked with his as he stood near the foot of his bed, all I felt coursing through me was the unadulterated desire I had felt every time I'd looked at Hayden. My body shuddered as I took a deep breath.
July 13, 2011
Recommended Reading #55: Sex and Societal Authority
"Can America's Attitude Towards Sex Get Any Worse? (Or, What Happened When My Son Said 'Breast' in Pre-School)" by Tinamarie Bernard (Sex and Culture, Sex Education, Youth, Parenting) 7/8/11
This article speaks of a gamut of societally-perceived authority figures, from parents to teachers to policy makers. In short, the piece speaks to the astonishing projection, ignorance, and squeamishness with which such authority figures commonly deal with speaking to or children's exposure to information about sexuality. It seems to me worth remembering/recognizing that as parents/caregivers/educators/simply adults, we are often seen as authority figures and do have a lot of potential influence over children's understanding of sexuality—their own and as a subject—and sexual development. I certainly appreciate the offering I interpret here that speaking openly with youth about sexuality and being available to do so seem some of the most important antidotes available for encouraging and developing healthy sexuality in a less-than-so society.
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"Consent in the Doctor's Office" by Susan Miranda (Memoir, Health and Body, the Medical Field) 7/11/11
Doctors/health care practitioners are another set of professionals it seems to me have historically been regarded as authority figures in this culture. I found this personal account a powerful exposition on, as the title suggests, consent in the doctor's office and the author's perspective of the implications thereof and her own experience, both past and current.
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"Sex and the Supremes" by Timothy Egan (Politics, Law, Public Policy, Sex and Culture) 7/7/11
The only thing I don't like about this article is the statement that "the United States of America will always make an exception for sex" [bold mine]. Just because the Supreme Court has done so historically and certainly seemed to do so recently in the case about which this article was written does not to me mean it will "always" be that way. (We know not what the future holds.) And thank goodness…I intensely appreciate everything else this article offers. I appreciate the recognition of the First Amendment considerations around the case—indeed, I don't necessarily disagree with the verdict itself; I simply find what the author of this article maintains a very important line of consideration. Our societal issues around sexuality—which, in short, seem to me to manifest right now as our tending to act perpetually pubescent and, to use the author's word, "skittish" around the topic—seem to reach all the way to the highest law of the land in the U.S.; to me, the importance of our recognition of this seems paramount, especially if we as a culture want to evolve beyond it.
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July 7, 2011
Best Erotic Romance Just Finalized!
I am so utterly delighted that my story "Honey Changes Everything" will be included in Best Erotic Romance edited by the magnificent Kristina Wright and published by Cleis Press later this year! This is my first time officially working with Kristina, and I am thrilled by the opportunity. :)
In addition, the book has a positively all-star table of contents, and I am ecstatic to be included and so looking forward to reading it!
Best Erotic Romance is available for pre-order now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Borders, and is scheduled for release December 2011.
Rather than list all the extraordinary authors I'm so delighted to be alongside in this anthology, I'm just going to post the table of contents in its entirety:
Best Erotic Romance 2012
edited by Kristina Wright
Introduction: Simply the Best
What Happened in Vegas Sylvia Day
First Night Donna George Storey
Another Trick Up My Sleeve Heidi Champa
Drive Me Crazy Delilah Devlin
Once Upon a Dinner Date Saskia Walker
Guest Services Angela Caperton
Blame It On Facebook Kate Dominic
To Be in Clover Shanna Germain
Honey Changes Everything Emerald (Me!)
Cheating Time Kate Pearce
Our Own Private Champagne Room Rachel Kramer Bussel
Till the Storm Breaks Erobintica
The Curve of Her Belly Kristina Wright
Wow! :)
Love,
Emerald
The sticky liquid began to descend, creeping toward her nipples. Kim opened her mouth to object as Terry dipped his head and caught a nipple between his teeth just as it was engulfed. Her breath caught in her throat, and she remained silent as he grasped her breast from underneath, his tongue swirling over the golden sweetness.
-from "Honey Changes Everything"
July 6, 2011
Recommended Reading #54: Sex and (Mainstream) Media
"Critical Thinking in a NY Times Opinion Piece on Sex? Unfortunately, No." by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Sex and Culture, Relationship, Media) 3/7/11
I find this article brilliant and so filled with salient points I don't even want to emphasize any one or few of them over all the others. This piece is a specific response to an op-ed the New York Times published earlier this year titled "Why Monogamy Matters" by Ross Douthat. (I have also in the past felt moved to respond to an op-ed of Mr. Douthat's about reproductive rights.) Charlie outlines the numerous things he sees as problematic in Mr. Douthat's piece, and in addition to agreeing with them, I appreciate the caring, thorough, meticulous rebuttal(s) Charlie provides. The entire post rings with relevance and insightfulness to me.
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"SWOP-NYC Responds to the 'Real Men Get Their Facts Straight' Debate" at SWOP-NYC (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Youth, Human Trafficking, Sociology) 7/5/11
This response to a recent uproar about an article in The Village Voice attacking the tactics of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore in their anti-sex-trafficking activism and Kutcher's response strikes me as measured, solid, and informative. I'm glad SWOP-NYC (Sex Workers Outreach Project New York City) issued a statement, especially one so thoughtful and articulate. I was particularly interested in the conclusion of the piece in which the author(s) highlight the question of why youth may become involved in the sex industry and the implications thereof in terms of societal conditions and structures. Ultimately, I see this area as one where media, particularly mainstream media, has had a salient influence and also, as this press release offers, an opportunity for clarification, education, and expansion in the realm of sex work, sex trafficking, youth, and the intersections thereof. (Link thanks to Violet Blue.)
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"To Gaze Upon a Weiner: A Rumpus Lamentation with Sad Sexual Parts" by Steve Almond (Politics, Sex and Culture, Sociology, Media) 6/21/11
This is another article related to the recent scandal in the United States around which I dedicated an entire RR post a couple weeks ago. This piece, to me, pulls no punches in simply demonstrating the staggering ludicrousness of the degree to which actions of former congressperson Anthony Weiner were found and treated as "scandalous." I especially love about this piece its offering that this fiasco was, foundationally, a product of the intersections of the media, sex, and our collective relationship to both.
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June 29, 2011
Recommended Reading #53: Growth and Healing
"My First Burlesque Show" at Imagine Today (Self-Awareness, Psychology, Body Image, Sex and Art) 4/5/11
I am truly moved by the self-awareness that I feel permeates this piece. The author's awareness and willingness to examine herself struck me profoundly, and I appreciate similarly her sharing it in writing as she has. To me this kind of awareness, of what is going on in us without judgement and reactivity and of the realization that we are so much more than we have often thought we were, is the kind that changes the world.
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"Why You Should Own a Pleasure Box" by Lana Fox (Self-Awareness, Sexual Fantasy, Sex and Culture) 6/20/11
I adore this account of the importance of the things what Lana calls her "pleasure box" symbolize for her. Her account and explanation of this literal representation of the understanding of one's sexuality as one's own, autonomous from others (and even whatever action is going on), strike me as beautifully simple and important.
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"Beyond Donations: How Are We Using Yoga To Heal?" by Monica Shores (Non-sex-related, Self-Awareness, Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy) 4/11/11
I find this piece strikingly thoughtful and actually stunning in its incisiveness and compassion. It seems to me that money is a colossally influential entity in our society, and it makes sense to me as such that it would be referenced as a fundamental gesture or symbol of helpfulness. I do like the author's offering of examining this phenomenon in an example intersecting with her experience. Since she already said it so beautifully, I will simply quote one of the lines that to me seems to communicate the powerful exposition and inquiry this piece encompasses: "Is our attention on creating a communal space to experience and transform grief, or are we distracting ourselves with a routine response?"
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June 21, 2011
Recommended Reading #52: "Scandal"
Note: While all three of these pieces happen to be about the same (now outdated) "scandal" that enveloped the U.S. recently, it is what they say in general about such things that I deeply appreciate, and I feel they could apply to similar uproars relating to politicians' sexual actions and the very phenomenon of, as Elizabeth alludes to, these disclosures seeming to be "scandals" at all.
"All I Have to Say About Anthony Weiner" by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Sex and Society, Politics, Media) 6/80/11
I really like that Charlie points out here that most of us have or would lie as a first reaction to getting "caught" doing something that feels to us like we don't want others (particularly the public) to know. This my not be a very popular offering, and it doesn't seem to me any claim as to whether it seems acceptable or advisable or not, but simply is an acknowledgement that many of us may, in a similar situation, do it—and that seems to me a relevant consideration to mention. Overall, I really like the tone/angle I interpret Charlie in taking here that asks us questions (that we may find uncomfortable) about inclinations we have had or may have in regard to the aspects the scandal surrounding Mr. Weiner's actions seem so seeped in collective judgment surrounding. Case in point: "It's easy to judge others and it's easy to forget that almost everyone who has a sex life has done at least a few things that might be considered less than ideal. We really need to get over shaming people for doing stuff that we've done ourselves."
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"It's all about sex, and that's the shame" by Dr. Elizabeth Wood (Politics, Sex and Society) 6/13/11
I deeply appreciate this reminder from Elizabeth that it is our perceptions around sexuality, including rampant shame on a societal level, that seem to me are problematic in such "scandals" around politicians as the recent one that surrounded Anthony Weiner. (Incidentally, I also appreciate her reminder that it is the voters in this of- for- and by-the-people government that choose politicians' positions more so than their colleagues and respective judgments.)
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"Anthony Weiner's 'Bad Judgment:' That is SO Not the Point" by Dr. Marty Klein (Sex and Society, Psychology, Religion, Politics) 6/10/11
I find this simply brilliant. Both the pointing out of how absurd the seeming self-righteous shitstorm over politicians' sexual actions when they are inadvertently exposed and also the pointing out of how harmful sexual repression may be seem so direly needed to me in this society. Dr. Klein makes point after point that makes so much sense to me and seems so desperately missing in the mainstream societal perception it practically left me breathless.
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June 15, 2011
Recommended Reading #51: Humanity and Inspiration, Pt. II
"Dear Tracy Morgan" by Alana Noel Voth (Sexual Orientation, Parenting, Sex and Society) 6/12/11
I read this twice in a row about fifteen minutes after Alana posted that it was live. Each time, I started crying when I got to the picture of the fence. After the first time, I was speechless. I didn't much know what to say after the second time either, though I left her a comment that I found it "indescribably extraordinary." That still holds—which means I don't know what else to say about it. I just recommend that it be read. (Note: Here is a later post on the apology Tracy Morgan has since issued.)
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"My son, the pink boy" by Sarah Hoffman (Gender Socialization, Sexual Orientation, Parenting) 2/21/11
I adore this article and virtually everything the author says in it. The perplexing (to me) societal lack of acceptance of "feminine" behavior among male-bodied individuals is something I've noticed for a long time. Even in my teenage years, as a young feminist, I remember it occurring to me that while "feminism" had seemed to make it okay for women/girls to act certain ways and do certain things they weren't societally "allowed" to before, feminism didn't seem to account at all for any behavior or adjustment or allowance on the account of men. This seemed odd and eventually concerning to me. This article points out exactly why.
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"A Pill to Change Your Life" by Donna George Storey (Memoir, Non-sex-related, Health and Body, Government and Politics) 2006
I'm going to caution that one not read this when one is in a hurry or not feeling an opportunity to absorb and be affected by a profound and sobering story. The first time I read this, I did feel somewhat in a hurry and figured I would only read part of it right then. It turned out I found it so spellbinding that I literally felt I could hardly pull myself away from it to get to where I was going on time and rather—almost involuntarily—opted to finish it in that sitting. It may not make everyone cry (though I myself can hardly imagine not being brought to tears at some point during the reading of it), but I would guess it would affect most people. I recommend reading it at a time one feels accepting of that. It is, in my perception, an extraordinary story, told with extraordinary love and beauty.
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