Emerald's Blog, page 29
September 14, 2011
Recommended Reading #64: Addressing Misconceptions, Pt. III
"Our Addiction to Tiger Woods' 'Sex Addiction'" by Dr. Marty Klein (Psychology, Sex and Culture) 2/24/10
While the specific "story" of this piece is outdated, of course, I profoundly appreciate what Dr. Klein has to say about the questions he has been asked about "sex addiction" and his observations about the media and the public "diagnosing" someone, particularly someone they don't actually know, as such. I find both the commentary on society (I especially adore the last sentence) as well as the insights about individuals and psychological study and complexity Dr. Klein offers here of great value.
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"A New Paradigm for Love" by Dr. Deborah Taj Anapol (Spirituality/Consciousness, Relationship, Anthropology) Undated
I find this piece a beautiful offering and especially appreciate its mention of what love is not and the emotions we have come to associate with it or think that it means. The understanding here of love as an unlimited existence having nothing to do with "having" or "giving" resonates deeply with me.
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"Sex With Strangers and Other Lies from Captain Obvious" by Thomas Roche (Sex and Culture, Sociology, Sex Research, Media, Gender Socialization) 9/13/11
I don't know if I've read something by Thomas Roche on Violet Blue's site that I haven't found brilliant. This is no exception, and it runs a gamut of brilliance to me from elucidating insights about social research (I adore that he points out the question of how/why/to whom this "study" would possibly matter, which has repeatedly occurred to me as well in seeing reports about numerous "studies" pertaining to sex and sexual behavior) to incisive observations about the reinforcement of gender binary and norms. I hardly know how to express how much I appreciate Thomas's voice on subjects/studies like these that have seemed continually perpetuated unquestioned by the press and thus, potentially and dangerously, the public.
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September 7, 2011
Recommended Reading #63: Parenting, Pt. II
"Of little girls and liberal goals: daddies, daughters, and left-wing politics" by Hugo Schwyzer (Parenting, Politics, Sex and Culture) 5/20/09
While I find the musing of this post regarding parenting (by males particularly) and politics interesting, probably what I love most about this piece is what Hugo says about parenting itself. As related to the premise about liberal politics and men parenting daughters, I particularly and deeply appreciate his allusion to his daughter's sexuality and that she is not his to own or protect from sexuality. The myth that such is a father's (of a daughter) job has seemed to me a strong and pernicious concept that I have been continually surprised to see repeated and claimed with seemingly little understanding of the implications it espouses about gender, sexuality, and personal autonomy. Thus again, even more so than the implications of the studies Hugo cites here, it was what I interpreted as his own perspective about parenting and why his political views are and have so far remained liberal that I found captivating.
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"Sexting 101 for Mommies" by Jezebelle Jay (Parenting, Youth, Sex and Culture) 4/19/11
I find this expose about parenting and speaking with one's young children about sexuality so heartening. What I see as the levelheaded response Jezebelle gives to her son on the subject strikes me as profoundly admirable and helpful to all involved and society at large. It seems truly incredible to me to imagine how the world would shift were this to become a routine response in such situations.
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"Why I'm Taking My Sons to SlutWalk SF" by Airial Clark (Sex and Culture, Parenting) 8/5/11
I found this a powerful post on the implications of and issues around SlutWalk, and all the more so because the author was speaking of them in relation to her sons and why she wanted them to witness SlutWalk (and was thus taking them). Again, open conversation with youth about sexuality is present, which I again find so refreshing, and in this case the introduction of the complexity of cultural structures and human unconsciousness is included. I profoundly appreciate instances in which sexuality is still spoken of with appreciation and reverence amongst these complexities (rather than relegated to something scary, expendable, or to be avoided). Conscious parenting, especially on the (I have no doubt) challenging subject of sexuality, continues to be one of the most appreciated and inspirational things I know of.
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August 31, 2011
Recommended Reading #62: (United States) Public Policy
"GOP Nominees Asked to Pledge Marital Fidelity…And More" by Dr. Marty Klein (Sex and Culture, Politics, Marriage, Religion, Sexual Hysteria) 7/11/11
I really appreciate someone publicly pointing out that a candidate's or politician's personal life is largely irrelevant to her/his/their appropriateness and capacity to hold public office. The bizarre obsession we have with such figures' private lives and the idea that the publicly apparent aspects of such are somehow relevant to or correlative with their political propensities, capacities, and reliability seems ludicrous to me. Thanks to Marty Klein for outlining the jaw-dropping asininity of a pledge that seems actually perceived as something serious from some perspectives in American politics.
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"The road out of serfdom: gender roles and social democracy" by Hugo Schwyzer (Gender Socialization, Public Policy, Anthropology, Sociology) 3/17/09
This post addresses public policy in the context of gender socialization (and/or vice versa), and I find what it says brilliant. Mr. Schwyzer's points about the social context of a governmental system/capacity and its correlation to traditional family and gender roles struck me as highly illuminating, and indeed he articulated things that had not quite occurred to me, at least not consciously, before.
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"Failing Forward" by Charles M. Blow (Reproductive Rights, Public Policy, Youth) 8/26/11
I find this so brilliant reading it nearly took my breath away. Across the board he makes points I find fiercely incisive and that I personally wish would be recognized by all. There's little more I want to say about this piece besides that I found it one of the most fabulous things I'd read in recent memory.
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Recommended Reading #62: United States Public Policy
"GOP Nominees Asked to Pledge Marital Fidelity…And More" by Dr. Marty Klein (Sex and Culture, Politics, Marriage, Religion, Sexual Hysteria) 7/11/11
I really appreciate someone publicly pointing out that a candidate's or politician's personal life is largely irrelevant to her/his/their appropriateness and capacity to hold public office. The bizarre obsession we have with such figures' private lives and the idea that the publicly apparent aspects of such are somehow relevant to or correlative with their political propensities, capacities, and reliability seems ludicrous to me. Thanks to Marty Klein for outlining the jaw-dropping asininity of a pledge that seems actually perceived as something serious from some perspectives in American politics.
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"The road out of serfdom: gender roles and social democracy" by Hugo Schwyzer (Gender Socialization, Public Policy, Anthropology, Sociology) 3/17/09
This post addresses public policy in the context of gender socialization (and/or vice versa), and I find what it says brilliant. Mr. Schwyzer's points about the social context of a governmental system/capacity and its correlation to traditional family and gender roles struck me as highly illuminating, and indeed he articulated things that had not quite occurred to me, at least not consciously, before.
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"Failing Forward" by Charles M. Blow (Reproductive Rights, Public Policy, Youth) 8/26/11
I find this so brilliant reading it nearly took my breath away. Across the board he makes points I find fiercely incisive and that I personally wish would be recognized by all. There's little more I want to say about this piece besides that I found it one of the most fabulous things I'd read in recent memory.
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August 24, 2011
Recommended Reading #61: Writing, Pt. II
"Be a 'Real' Writer: Slowing Down, Seeing Anew, and a Fresh Take on America's Favorite Entree" by Donna George Storey (Writing, Self-Awareness) 8/2011
I especially love the self-awareness I see woven throughout this considered piece by Donna on revision and editing. "[S]tepping back and challenging every element of your story," as she recommends, to me involves considerable self-awareness and the elements inherent in it such as courage, compassion, and presence–at least if the writing is authentic. To me, this column reflects the very attention, care, and authenticity I have consistently seen in Donna's writing (fiction and non)–here it is offered in the form of a generous sharing of her experiences and perspective about the process of writing (revision specifically) itself.
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"What Erotica Isn't" by Lisabet Sarai (Writing, Sex and Culture, Erotica) June 2011
I appreciate and find provocative this perspective offered by Lisabet about erotica and what she sees it to mean and encompass. What I perhaps most see in her description is the variety of ways the term "erotica" may be perceived and the wide berth of what it may offer, an illumination I much appreciate. This seems summed up to me in her nuanced offering about a story of hers: "The story, however, is about how Doa and Che get drawn into a sexual relationship, how it changes them, what they learn about themselves and each other – not about the sex itself."
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"DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #48: Write Like a Motherfucker" at The Rumpus (Writing, Non-Sex-Related, Sociology, Psychology) 8/19/10
I had heard this piece referenced before and had it on my reading list. I now have read it, and it more or less left me speechless. I imagine writers/artists may especially appreciate it, but it seems to me on some level it is universal as well. I recommend it indiscriminately.
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August 22, 2011
Joint Book Party for Obsessed and The Lost This Thursday!
Amongst moving, traveling, and a cold that I feel is quite close to outlasting its welcome (…which I guess it perhaps never had!), I am late in posting this, but I am very excited to be attending the joint book party for Obsessed and The Lost later this week! Specifically, the party is on Thursday, August 25 at Fontana's in New York City. See the Facebook invite here!
The party, organized by Obsessed editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and Tied Up Events, is celebrating the release of the Obsessed anthology and The Lost by Caridad Pineiro (who wrote the foreward to Obsessed). I and fellow authors Logan Belle and Jennifer Peters will all be reading from our stories in Obsessed, and Rachel will be giving away a number of prizes and bringing, of course, free cupcakes!
I am really looking forward to attending and seeing friends from New York in just a few days! If you find yourself in the area on Thursday, we would love to see you there too! :)
Love,
Emerald
"Here I am on the road again, there I am up on the stage, here I go playing star again…"
-Bob Seger "Turn the Page"
August 17, 2011
Recommended Reading #60: Sex and (Mainstream) Media, Pt. II
"Men Who "Buy Sex" Commit More Crimes; Newsweek, Trafficking, and the Lie of Fabricated Sex Studies" by Thomas Roche (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Sociology, Feminism) 7/20/11
Once again I appreciate a piece by Thomas Roche in which he, as I interpret it, calls out the mainstream media for glaringly uninformed reportagae on the subject of sexuality. In addition, I find what he says comprehensive, incisive, and perhaps most of all, vitally important to an understanding and consideration of the issues—and the presentation thereof—in question.
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"A Dirty Smutter Writes to the New York Times Sunday Magazine" by Donna George Storey (Sex and Culture, Writing, Sex and Art) 8/15/11
This beautiful letter arose from the article I mentioned last week on my blog (first brought to my attention by Shanna Germain) by Charles McGrath about the author Nicholson Baker. I feel such resonance with and so deeply appreciate this thoughtful, articulate, eloquent response from Donna. Her point, to me, is deeply well taken.
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Letter to the Editor in response to "Ladies, We Have a Problem" by Ruth R. Miller (Sex and Culture, Feminism) 8/5/11
The letter I really want to bring attention to here is the second one, but there is no way to separate it out into its own link. I am including it here because it says exactly what I thought when I read Rebecca Traister's article a few weeks ago (Lana Fox also supplied a lovely response at the Boston Daily)—the last two sentences in particular strike me as incisive articulations of what seem to me some of the most profound truths about current society and feminism.
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August 10, 2011
Recommended Reading #59: Poetry, Pt. III
"The Gift" by Jacque Zyon (Erotic Poetry) 3/1/11
As with so much of Jacque's poetry, I find this simply beautiful.
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"Touching" by Celeste P. Stiles (Erotic Poetry) 9/2010
This has a poignant feel to me, and coupled with some of its descriptions, which struck me, it's a poem that's stayed with me.
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"Little Breaths" by C. Sanchez-Garcia (Poetry, Writing) 3/2/11
I adore this poem that I interpret to be about writing and love and life. Original, real, precise, is how it struck by it the first time I read it, and it still does. Beautiful.
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August 9, 2011
As I See It
Fellow erotica author Shanna Germain posted on her blog yesterday a response to a recent article in the New York Times. The article was about the author Nicholson Baker, who has penned, among other things, fiction of an erotic nature. Shanna, for her part, has called on those who also write erotic fiction to post a picture, if we so desire, that flouts the author's opening description:
"Nicholson Baker does not look like a dirty-book writer. His color is good. His gaze is direct, with none of the sidelong furtiveness of the compulsive masturbator."
Overall I found the exposition on Mr. Baker rather interesting. However, there were things I interpreted about the tone and implications from the article's author (Charles McGrath) that I did not appreciate. Shanna quotes the above opening lines. In addition, I took exception to the following:
"What kind of person dreams up this stuff? It's as funny as it is filthy and breathes new life into the tired, fossilized conventions of pornography in a way that suggests a deep, almost scholarly familiarity with the ancient tropes."
Hmmm. Does it seem so hard to imagine someone who appreciates contemplation devoting his/her/their attention to the arcane subject of sexuality? As though, oh, the subject held some kind of significance or interest to the species or something?…
And:
"As Rosenthal pointed out, Baker is no ordinary, adult-bookstore pornographer. In addition to what might be called his sex trilogy, he is the author of six other novels, none of them racy in the least."
This might not be meant this way, but the way I read that is as though it should elicit surprise or astonishment that someone who devotes attention at times to the subject of sex could also then feel drawn to and expound on other subjects in other ways with other tones. This, of course, would presumably apply to almost all adults outside an artistic context.
I feel less incensed now than when I first read the piece, but I do feel the article is loaded with what seem to me shallow assumptions about the artistic exploration of sexuality, especially coupled with other artistic exploration (as though those who write or express artistically about sex would not dream of or have the capacity to express similarly about other subjects). Truly, are we not past this kind of ignorance, pubescence, prejudice, or whatever may account for these kinds of seemingly un-nuanced or, as Shanna said, uninformed perceptions?
Here's a gaze for you, Mr. McGrath:
Love,
Emerald
"In libraries and railway stations, in books and banks, in the pages of history…I recognize myself in every stranger's eyes…"
-Roger Waters "5:06 AM (Every Stranger's Eyes)"
August 3, 2011
Recommended Reading #58: Reflection, Pt. II
"Why I turned down the threesome" by Joshua LeSuer (Relationship, Memoir, Self-Awareness) 12/13/10
I find the self-awareness of this piece both moving and striking. I appreciate especially that the author is aware of many of his own perceptions and feelings while simultaneously appreciating his wife's, which it seems to me he articulates so beautifully. The understanding, forthrightness, and self-awareness of this piece have stayed with me since the first time I read it.
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"On Being a Dainty Man" by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Memoir, Gender, Sociology) 7/6/11
I love this exposition on how Charlie has experienced himself in U.S. culture and the surrounding commentaries on gender expression and relations. I appreciate what I perceive as the straightforward and open exploration of the nuances and complexity of these issues, both in general and particular to the author as an individual. (And I will admit I found the comparison to a cat that "keeps his white tummy fur immaculately clean" so adorable I actually squealed out loud when I read it. :))
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"A Moving Target is Harder to Hit" by Jean Roberta (Non-sex-related, Memoir, History) 7/21/11
I found this post, which Jean Roberta offered at Oh Get A Grip! when the theme of the week was "Running Away," powerful and extraordinary.
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