Jonny Cox's Blog, page 7

March 4, 2013

There are two sides to an argument.

I was late driving to work this morning so listened to a feminist debate on BBC Radio 4 which came on after the news. It was quite interesting but equally frustrating as there was an eclectic mix of women who were alternating between complaining about oppression in patriarchal societies around the world and plugging their latest book.

So, I rang Woman's Hour and joined in the debate on the radio to try and give a male perspective. I was quite pleased to get a chance to comment although a little trepidant about stepping into such hostile territory. I obviously plugged my own book in the same way that the ladies had spent an hour doing but I was then immediately cut short and dismissed. How does that work? Feminists say they want a debate but that only pertains if you' re in agreement with them; there can be no dissenters, it seems.

What was really frustrating was that the youngish sounding woman with whom I first spoke seemed quite interested in my view but the older dragon lady who interviewed me on air would not hear me speak.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Trouble-Girls...
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 04, 2013 08:12

March 1, 2013

Why get a dog and then shout woof?

I had not expected that publishing a book would lead me into a legal contest. I had expected that paying out a chunk of money to professional representatives in the industry would lead to help in promoting the thing. But apparently the best person to promote a book is the author. I had strong differences of opinion between my agent and the publisher's outsourced sales rep as to how much support they should provide to me in return for the money I was paying them.

"Agents don't do promotion," said mine after he'd banked the cash.
"What do they do, then," I asked in bemusement. He couldn't really explain what service he was providing for the money I had paid up front or the 15% commission he was expecting to cream off. I began legal proceedings for breach of contract. To be fair, he did waive his commission; presumably in an attempt to dissuade me.

"What have you done to promote your book?" he challenged. Actually, I have done a lot: sent it for review at SOLDIER magazine; also the Army Rumour Service, an online soldiers' magazine; consistently promoted the book with DadsNet; done book signings in my local towns; getting the paper for my region to publish a full page spread; organised a collective book reading and signing with established writers like Leigh Russell; promoted my book in journals on MS for which I write; and getting the men's magazine, Club International, to review it. I could go on. The point is that my erstwhile agent asking me the question at all is indicative of the exploitative situation that publishing perpetuates. In no other area of commerce or society would you pay for professional representation only to be told that you're better off doing it yourself.

When I threatened to sue, the agencies involved appeared pained, as if I'd hurt their feelings. They claimed to have worked hard on my behalf. Perhaps, but they did not achieve any tangible benefit and in the real world a man is not judged on the efforts that he expends so much as the effects he achieves.

Once you get a dog, you don't expect to have to fetch the stick yourself.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 01, 2013 03:19

February 15, 2013

Which Mountain Should I Climb?

Writing books has become my passion, my addiction. It is the mountain I want to climb, the marathon I want to run, and the woman I want to seduce. The unwritten words lie taunting in my mind; challenging, daring, promising.

But which book shall I write next? The sequel to 'Trouble With Girls' which is nominally titled 'Taming The Beast' and sees Billy deploy to Iraq with the Army Bitch, fall in love, struggle with chronic illness and eventually fulfil his perceived destiny?

Or a different genre of book, possibly a thriller called 'Phoenix Rising' which illustrates the resurgence of Republicanism in Northern Ireland and the British security services' attempts to thwart the return to violence? This story has global context as the Republicans seek support in the States and from their old allies the Libyans now that Gadaffi's restraint has gone. The protagonists seek to exploit the political divisions by resorting to increasingly extreme measures; bombs, assassinations and fratricide of innocent Catholics in an attempt to garner support from an apathetic Nationalist community.

But then again, I have a burning desire to write erotica; 'Towards the Madding Crowd'. Emma and Dan are newly weds, innocently developing their relationship, each unaware of the others' burning passion to explore multiplicity. They unwittingly, but instinctively, proceed along the path to group love, with Emma being the focus of fevered attention from a menagerie of willing men. She is intoxicated by the adventure, the sense of being desired, but she is equally uneasy about Dan's willingness to share her with so many men. Will the move to the madding crowd strengthen or break their intense love for each other?

Which mountain should I climb?
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on February 15, 2013 08:42

February 11, 2013

Taming the Beast

There is a loosely planned sequel to this story called “Taming the Beast”, in which our beloved soldier deploys to Iraq, expecting to live the life of a warrior monk, free from trouble with girls. But Eve pursues him still in the form of two women from the Foreign Office; one's a spy and the other a diplomat. But they are both a bit like his estranged wife so Billy is determined to resist temptation this time. He is avoiding them both so vehemently that he doesn't notice the extremely cute and much younger corporal sitting smiling at him in the corner of the office.

Even when she starts leaving cans of strawberry soda on his desk, he fails to notice. It's only when she gets back from the gym one afternoon that he finally gets the message:

"Did you have a good workout, corporal?" I asked absently whilst reading a report.
"Yes, thank you, sir," she beamed, "but I forgot my underwear."

Corporals and majors are not allowed to fraternise so Billy properly gets into trouble and is admonished by the jealous Army Bitch. The corporal is sent back home so she and Billy can develop a love affair without concern for the army’s envy. They effectively have their first date at Sandals in Jamaica, get engaged a year later and plan to marry the year after; a happy ending should surely ensue.

But three months before the wedding, Billy is diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and trouble with girls once more seems to come crashing down. Love can endure, however, and they marry as planned, having their first son a year later and a second a year after that; MS is kept in a dark corner. Mrs Hanson gets pregnant again and the family go on holiday to Florida. They go to Disney and watch a stage production of Beauty and the Beast:

My four year old son sat on my knee with an arm over my shoulder. He squeezed tightly, enthralled by the drama on screen.
“Daddy, why is Beasty no longer angry?”
“It’s because Bella loves him," I said. "So the spell is broken.” My beautiful, brown eyed boy looked from the stage to his mother, and then to me.
“Is that like you and mommy?”
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on February 11, 2013 03:49

February 5, 2013

The Curious Incident of the Hookers in the Hot Tub

I unexpectedly met an old school friend for lunch recently and told him about TWG. His wife immediately ordered a copy and read it in two days.
"Very funny, and well written" she said, which was kind of her. The positive comments from women about TWG surprise me; I really aimed it at a male readership. I was also surprised at my friend's wife's enthusiasm to learn about her beloved's previous adventures. We were friends when our pants were short and we knew nothing of the trouble that girls can cause. But we also grew up together.

“Beer, please,” said Adam, sitting down at the bar. The barman cast us an amused glance. Almost immediately there were two women at our sides. One ran a hand over Adam’s arm.
“You buy me a drink?” the lady asked in clumsy English.
“Yes, of course,” he replied, quite delighted to have some female company at last. “What would you like?”
“Champagne.” Adam did not even flinch.
“Barman, champagne,” he ordered with a flourish. The Frenchy had a bottle open immediately and poured us all a glass.
“Thank you,” said Adam’s new girlfriend.
“My pleasure,” he replied emphatically, although by then his English was as clumsy as hers. The barman produced a bill for Adam to sign.
“Billy, how much is two thousand, five hundred Francs?”
“About two hundred and fifty quid, I think”
“Fuck me!” said Adam.
“If you want,” said his lady. He looked at her with surprise, realisation coming slowly. He tried to whisper, but drunks cannot whisper.
“Billy, do you think they’re hookers?”
“I think so.” Adam thought about this for a while.
“Have you ever shagged a hooker?” he asked, still trying to whisper even though the ladies neither understood nor cared what he was saying.
“Yes,” I said because it was too difficult to explain otherwise.
“Do you think it’s wrong?”
“No,” I said for I was too drunk to pronounce “moral” let alone discuss it. “It’s fine. It’ll give you something to talk about when you’re an old fart in a home.”
“Okay, Billy,” said Adam brandishing his company credit card, “it's my treat. It will take your mind off Bethany.” I doubted that but it was worth a try and before long we were sat naked in a Jacuzzi slurping champagne with two French hookers.
“I am skiing,” giggled one of the women as she sat between Adam and me and took us both in hand. The prospect of sex with a hooker held no attraction for me so I just sat in the froth slurping overpriced champagne whilst the woman pumped me enthusiastically. In truth, although I had no actual interest in sex with her, I did quite enjoy the lady's attempts to raise my level of interest.

Still, it was all a long time ago and perhaps my friend's wife didn't recognise Adam, the character in my book, as the husband she now lives with.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Trouble-Girls...
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on February 05, 2013 06:34

February 1, 2013

TWG on Kindle

My book is now available on KINDLE.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_n...

Although you don't get a proper book to hold, there seem to be advantages to an e-book:
1. You receive it immediately.
2. It's half the price.
3. No-one can tell you're reading a salacious story of drunkeness, womanising and bad behaviour.

The downside is that you can't colour in the pictures.

'The trouble with girls is that you can't resist them, certainly not two.'
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on February 01, 2013 07:29

January 25, 2013

Is Three Really A Crowd?

Earlier, I published the opening lines to a story I have started writing to try and guage the response. It received none so I have removed it to rewrite it. Perhaps I don't have the right aptitude for erotica or perhaps a bloke writing from a female POV doesn't work well.

Perhaps it was too graphic; perhaps suggestion and innuendo are more satisfying to read than detailed description. I suppose if you're reading something that is intended to stimulate, you only want a hint, an idea of how the experience would feel, rather than an expose of how somebody else wants to do it.

More research then? Well, there are worse things to study.
 •  1 comment  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on January 25, 2013 06:33

January 22, 2013

Over Exposure

The book signing I did before Christmas was covered by a local newspaper with a full page spread. That is free publicity and, as I wrote earlier, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. But the article was noticed by work colleagues who have ordered copies of the book and I am a little uncertain what the ladies of later middle age in the office are going to think about my stories of group sex and whoremongering.

My colleagues know me as a respectable middle aged father of three boys. Hopefully they’ll accept that when these adventures occurred I was a young man, led astray by bigger boys and naughty girls (lots of them). Hopefully, they’ll accept the basic premise of my book that Eve brought sin into the world and if she hadn’t offered me the Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge I would be good and wholesome; “I can resist everything but temptation”. It worked for Oscar Wilde.

As I edit the book for electronic publishing I wonder if I should tone it down a bit. Keep the actual adventures but take out some of the explicit detail. Although one of the criticisms of Fifty Shades that I read was that there was too much innuendo and not enough detail. Do readers want explicit detail, to know exactly how the girl in the story accommodates more than chap at a time, or do they want to relate to it in their own style, add their own detail so that they can imagine how they might have experienced it, rather than being told how some-one else did?

My book has received unexpected audiences. I was aiming at a young male market and I have been surprised at the interest from women. Perhaps this is a reflection of the rise of female chauvinism; the next generation of female liberation where girls wear the Playboy symbol with pride, not prejudice. If that’s the case, I should keep the detail in.
“We’ve all read Fifty Shades,” said a female colleague. “So we’re not going to be shocked by your book.”
“Fifty Shades is tame compared to my book.”
“I’m definitely going to buy it now,” she said. Her copy arrives tomorrow. I wonder if she’ll be talking to me the day after.

To tone it down or not to tone it down; that is the question?
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on January 22, 2013 03:12

January 7, 2013

Outdoor Recreation

I recently had lunch with colleagues and got to know the folk in my new office a little better. One woman spent much of the meal talking about her imminent honeymoon to the Maldives.
"You'll get a lovely tan," said another, older, woman.
"I'll probably need to go on the sun bed when I get home!" she replied with a smile. I tried not to think about my colleague getting vigorously rogered but, in truth, the meal was dull so I gave up all pretence of professional demeanour and indulged in some very entertaining scenarios.
I also honeymooned in the Maldives and was able to enjoy the sunshine and my new wife at the same time. Outdoor recreation is something I enjoy.

Once, when I was younger, I went on holiday to the Greek Islands with a girlfriend. We went in early June before the crowds arrived and the sun became too punitive so we had our choice of secluded beaches and quiet restaurants. We went exploring one day and climbed over cliffs and wandered through shady groves of pine trees until we came to a broad sweep of sand nestled between two protective rocky promontories.
“Wow, Billy, look, our very own beach!” Susie’s enthusiasm was uninhibited. She peeled off her swimsuit and wandered with naked innocence across the sand. We splashed into the sleepy Mediterranean and the contrast of her warm body to the cool water made me delirious.

I built a little shack from driftwood, driving branches into the sand on which to rest a roof as I had in the jungle.
“Billy, you built me a house!” It was on that beach in the secluded cove that I spent possibly the happiest day of my life. The sea shimmered deep blue in the thickening heat, the sky reflected its depth and peerless colour, and the sand was yellow like the presiding Sun God sitting high
above us.

The other Gods were smiling too, nodding their ascent. I was part of the Odyssey, one of the Argonauts; there was Perseus standing guard at the bay’s entrance, and Heracles, resolute on the cliff edge. Susie emerged from the sea and walked towards me, naked and shining wet like Aphrodite, firm breasts casting shadows like the Parthenon over Athens. She was so impossibly beautiful she was almost menacing.

She stood over me, sweeping back her flowing mane and ran her hands over her own voluptuous figure, mouth parted slightly, tongue licking her lips. She was Andromeda, she was Europa, she was all things; a Nymph, a Goddess fit only to be worshipped. And worship her I did, moving slowly, Susie demanding greater reverence, always wanting more, subjugating me to her whim, her pleasure my only concern.

Faster, faster we went until our passion surpassed that of the Deities. She screamed her demands; harder, harder she wanted it, all restraint gone, total abandon reigned. I gripped her waist and forced myself into her as hard as I could, throwing back my head to praise the Gods.
“Thank you Zeus, thank you Zeus, THANK YOU ZEUS!”

Yes, indeed, I'm a great fan of outdoor recreation.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Trouble-Girls...
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on January 07, 2013 04:14

January 6, 2013

Virtuality

I am currently sat in a pub which has a kids' play barn. Two of my boys are running about madly with the sense of abandonment that I long ago forgot; do you have to be young or drunk to play with such enthusiasm? They are still young enough to enjoy "real life", not hankering after Wii or PS3. I am drinking black coffee. My elder boy (6) is watching "Life of Pi" with his mum.

So, I managed to sneak my wife's IPad out of the house and have enjoyed a rare opportunity to research Kindle publishing. It seems easy to do. Indeed, it seems logical to do and offer my book electronically. Would this make it more accessible; encourage more readers? A colleague recently said it would. In fact, he said that he does not buy "real" books anymore. My wife bought me a Kindle for my birthday last September and I haven't even turned it on yet.

Would an electronic version of "The Trouble With Girls" be of interest? Many people on Goodreads have marked it 'as to read' but have not yet done so. I would appreciate feedback from the commuity.
 •  3 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on January 06, 2013 07:07