Jonny Cox's Blog, page 4
December 18, 2013
Book Flogger
Selling books is difficult. There are so many on the market and many more constantly streaming in. How does a new writer get noticed? Online communities, press releases, book signings, word of mouth, magazine reviews; I've done it all.
I recently tried a new venture; giving out leaflets. Having arranged some photo calendars as Christmas presents, the option of producing handouts was electronically pushed at me and it seemed like a novel way of publicising the book.
A week later, a box of 500 leaflets arrived on my doorstep so I promptly toured the local pubs and restaurants to hand them out. There was general acceptance. At least that's how it seemed but how many leaflets were dumped in the bin as soon as I left is difficult to tell. One man at the bar did take a leaflet and put it in his pocket but another man waiting to collect his Indian takeaway meal read the leaflet and then yawned whilst dropping it back on the table.
I might go stand at rugby matches and hand them out. I tried passing them out to blokes in kids play barns. But I wonder if people see this as impertinence, an intrusion into their emotional space. It's a difficult balance. Certainly, when I get leaflets through the post advertising erection potions I wonder what my estranged wife has been telling people. Still, it's a colourful leaflet on stiff paper so it will at least make a good paper aeroplane.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
I recently tried a new venture; giving out leaflets. Having arranged some photo calendars as Christmas presents, the option of producing handouts was electronically pushed at me and it seemed like a novel way of publicising the book.
A week later, a box of 500 leaflets arrived on my doorstep so I promptly toured the local pubs and restaurants to hand them out. There was general acceptance. At least that's how it seemed but how many leaflets were dumped in the bin as soon as I left is difficult to tell. One man at the bar did take a leaflet and put it in his pocket but another man waiting to collect his Indian takeaway meal read the leaflet and then yawned whilst dropping it back on the table.
I might go stand at rugby matches and hand them out. I tried passing them out to blokes in kids play barns. But I wonder if people see this as impertinence, an intrusion into their emotional space. It's a difficult balance. Certainly, when I get leaflets through the post advertising erection potions I wonder what my estranged wife has been telling people. Still, it's a colourful leaflet on stiff paper so it will at least make a good paper aeroplane.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
November 26, 2013
Filling the Void
My wife's plan to move out into a new house has stalled because of legal process. It's a frustrating business. I didn't want her to move out and take my sons to live apart from me but since it's going to happen, I want it over with as soon as possible. Living with an intransigent partner is quite stressful, especially as she seems to have gone on strike, leaving me to come home from a full day's work, bath the boys, make bed time snacks, read their books, get them to bed and tell them stories on my own. I would do all of that instinctively, I'm their dad, but I often then have to go clear the kitchen of the debris from supper, sometimes put the washing machine on, write up the boys' homework logs, make myself some supper and take the dog for a walk because my wife does not even take the poor beast out during the day anymore. My wife is out somewhere, at work, she says.
When they've gone, I will begin writing again. I will start the sequel to TWG, plot the basis for the Northern Ireland terrorist story I've had in mind for ten years, and begin a draft for 'A Different Kind of Mountain (about living with MS). Writing is a cathartic activity, albeit a lonely one, which allows the writer to balance their mind and then expand it into different situations, different worlds. The writer meets new characters who develop their story, take them to places they had not anticipated and creates events which were not necessarily planned. Writing can fill the void left in a lonely life.
But I doubt that writing will fill the space created by absent children. No matter how enigmatic my characters may be, they will never hug me when I get home from work. No matter how exciting the scenes that I write may become, they'll never be as much fun as playing with pirate ships on the living room floor, or as challenging as scaling the fort built from sofa cushions. And no matter how loving my heroines may be, they'll never climb on my lap and rest their head on my shoulder and tell me they love me. Nothing will ever fill that void.
When they've gone, I will begin writing again. I will start the sequel to TWG, plot the basis for the Northern Ireland terrorist story I've had in mind for ten years, and begin a draft for 'A Different Kind of Mountain (about living with MS). Writing is a cathartic activity, albeit a lonely one, which allows the writer to balance their mind and then expand it into different situations, different worlds. The writer meets new characters who develop their story, take them to places they had not anticipated and creates events which were not necessarily planned. Writing can fill the void left in a lonely life.
But I doubt that writing will fill the space created by absent children. No matter how enigmatic my characters may be, they will never hug me when I get home from work. No matter how exciting the scenes that I write may become, they'll never be as much fun as playing with pirate ships on the living room floor, or as challenging as scaling the fort built from sofa cushions. And no matter how loving my heroines may be, they'll never climb on my lap and rest their head on my shoulder and tell me they love me. Nothing will ever fill that void.
November 15, 2013
Loving to Script
I watched another Hollywood movie last night that left me rather deflated. It was billed as comedy, a treatise on corporate America, but it turned out to be another jaded story of love enduring through all adversaries. This does not happen in real life. Falling in love is easy, it is being in love for ever that is the challenge.
Why do all movies seem to follow this storyline? It's as if there is a prescribed script which must be adhered to. On her blog, Chloe Thurlow raises this same point. She argues that there is a Hollywood formula:
https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog...
If she's right, it poses a challenge to writers who dare to have a different view. Not that we all aspire to selling the rights of our books to Hollywood (do we?), but the challenge is that the wider book market expects this type of storyline. Hemingway was so last century.
I wrote a book where love failed to conquer. The sequel looked as if it would redress the balance, the hero eventually finding stable love. But life is stranger than fiction and love did not endure a second time for my hero. Perhaps it was because the hero wanted stability. Perhaps he should have challenged his wife more, offered her more adventure, a good spanking: something else that Chloe suggests.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
Why do all movies seem to follow this storyline? It's as if there is a prescribed script which must be adhered to. On her blog, Chloe Thurlow raises this same point. She argues that there is a Hollywood formula:
https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog...
If she's right, it poses a challenge to writers who dare to have a different view. Not that we all aspire to selling the rights of our books to Hollywood (do we?), but the challenge is that the wider book market expects this type of storyline. Hemingway was so last century.
I wrote a book where love failed to conquer. The sequel looked as if it would redress the balance, the hero eventually finding stable love. But life is stranger than fiction and love did not endure a second time for my hero. Perhaps it was because the hero wanted stability. Perhaps he should have challenged his wife more, offered her more adventure, a good spanking: something else that Chloe suggests.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
November 7, 2013
Should sin be fun?
I am currently reading Elizabeth Woodham's book about sin. It's entertaining, provocative and thought provoking, all at the same time. It seems to be saying that sin is okay really because it is fun. This is a refreshing sentiment. Indeed, it is liberating in that it suggests we can enjoy ourselves without being eternally damned; in this life or the next.
As I was living the life of excess, which led to the writing of 'The Trouble With Girls', I constantly had to rebuff the criticisms of people who had more conservative, or restrained, tastes. I did not act with abandon, though. I tried to avoid sin by avoiding temptation, but Eve always seemed to find me with her nice ripe fruit.
Perhaps this new liberalism is the result of e-readers and greater access to the market by unknown writers. I hope so. However, I am concerned that if we endorse sin and make it acceptable because it’s fun, it won’t be so much fun. Is sin fun because it is sin? If that is the case, why is it called sin?
Who says it is sin? Chloe Thurlow's review of this book explains that it was Medieval monks who defined and proscribed sin, but ancient Greeks such as Plato (to whom I have referred before in this blog) suggested that love without lust was pointless; sin is necessary to perpetuate humanity. Does that suggest, then, that sex for pleasure, not procreation, is sin, whereas sex for making babies is laudable? That is certainly what my wife seems to think.
As I was living the life of excess, which led to the writing of 'The Trouble With Girls', I constantly had to rebuff the criticisms of people who had more conservative, or restrained, tastes. I did not act with abandon, though. I tried to avoid sin by avoiding temptation, but Eve always seemed to find me with her nice ripe fruit.
Perhaps this new liberalism is the result of e-readers and greater access to the market by unknown writers. I hope so. However, I am concerned that if we endorse sin and make it acceptable because it’s fun, it won’t be so much fun. Is sin fun because it is sin? If that is the case, why is it called sin?
Who says it is sin? Chloe Thurlow's review of this book explains that it was Medieval monks who defined and proscribed sin, but ancient Greeks such as Plato (to whom I have referred before in this blog) suggested that love without lust was pointless; sin is necessary to perpetuate humanity. Does that suggest, then, that sex for pleasure, not procreation, is sin, whereas sex for making babies is laudable? That is certainly what my wife seems to think.
October 30, 2013
Alone in the Crowd
I finally got my Kindle working. It took me a year to set it up: I've been busy at work, busy divorcing my wife, and busy forgetting my Kindle when I go to a wifi area. Mine was a present, ironically from my wife, and I hadn't really wanted one. I rarely have time to read. But it's done now and I am enjoying all the benefits of reading from a pocket sized library. How do you get five thousand books in your pocket? Get a Kindle.
Apart from it being lightweight, conveniently sized and holding a lot of books, one of the real advantages of a Kindle is that nobody can tell what you're reading. I took full advantage of this when driving home from Yorkshire at the weekend. I stopped for lunch at a service station and once I'd eaten, I bought some coffee and started to read.
I'm reading a book about a man who enjoys watching his wife have intimate relations with other men. It started as a game but progressed to reality when they went to Hawaii. This is something I am interested in and have actually tried; not with my wife but with a less conservative girlfriend a few years ago. For some reason, it's exciting and stimulating, although I wish it wasn't so.
So, I was sat in the middle of a crowded cafe reading explicit stories about a woman getting rogered whilst her husband secretly watches. It was a strange experience; surrounded by busy people doing ordinary things whilst privately living in a very different world. No-one can tell what you're reading, but then no-one really cares. Before, when I read books, people would look to see what the title was, whether they'd read it or wanted to read it. Not so with a Kindle. It is just another device that isolates us from those around us; makes us alone in the crowd.
Apart from it being lightweight, conveniently sized and holding a lot of books, one of the real advantages of a Kindle is that nobody can tell what you're reading. I took full advantage of this when driving home from Yorkshire at the weekend. I stopped for lunch at a service station and once I'd eaten, I bought some coffee and started to read.
I'm reading a book about a man who enjoys watching his wife have intimate relations with other men. It started as a game but progressed to reality when they went to Hawaii. This is something I am interested in and have actually tried; not with my wife but with a less conservative girlfriend a few years ago. For some reason, it's exciting and stimulating, although I wish it wasn't so.
So, I was sat in the middle of a crowded cafe reading explicit stories about a woman getting rogered whilst her husband secretly watches. It was a strange experience; surrounded by busy people doing ordinary things whilst privately living in a very different world. No-one can tell what you're reading, but then no-one really cares. Before, when I read books, people would look to see what the title was, whether they'd read it or wanted to read it. Not so with a Kindle. It is just another device that isolates us from those around us; makes us alone in the crowd.
October 22, 2013
What do cookies say about you?
Recent media focus on the intrusive nature of internet and direct marketing has generally been quite negative. However, I find it helpful as I have received notification of products or services that have helped me in my writing, in daily life or with health issues.
Internet cookies or companies passing your details to other companies can make you feel a little exposed as complete strangers get to know a lot about your interests and buying habits. A couple of years ago I received direct marketing leaflets that I thought would be helpful as I wanted to buy my wife the best vibrator on the market. I had an interesting conversation with a very helpful telephone sales assistant at Ann Summers.
"I like the Platinum Rabbit," she said. I tried not to think of her using it and bought one for my wife. We used it once, then my wife completely withdrew from bedroom activity, at least with me, and a very expensive sex toy has lain redundant in my sock drawer ever since. In that sense, marketing can be misleading to the emotionally enthusiastic but naive husband.
When I was younger I used to receive marketing about adventure holidays, developments in sports nutrition, or sales of ski products; it reflected the life I lived. Recently, however, I have been receiving leaflets and pop-up ads for easy access armchairs, hearing aids and walk in shower conversions. Does this reflect my current lifestyle?
I have wanted to be a writer since I was a kid reading 'The Famous Five' novels but I was too busy living my life to write about it. Now, however, it seems that the time has come to write about life, rather than live it.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
Internet cookies or companies passing your details to other companies can make you feel a little exposed as complete strangers get to know a lot about your interests and buying habits. A couple of years ago I received direct marketing leaflets that I thought would be helpful as I wanted to buy my wife the best vibrator on the market. I had an interesting conversation with a very helpful telephone sales assistant at Ann Summers.
"I like the Platinum Rabbit," she said. I tried not to think of her using it and bought one for my wife. We used it once, then my wife completely withdrew from bedroom activity, at least with me, and a very expensive sex toy has lain redundant in my sock drawer ever since. In that sense, marketing can be misleading to the emotionally enthusiastic but naive husband.
When I was younger I used to receive marketing about adventure holidays, developments in sports nutrition, or sales of ski products; it reflected the life I lived. Recently, however, I have been receiving leaflets and pop-up ads for easy access armchairs, hearing aids and walk in shower conversions. Does this reflect my current lifestyle?
I have wanted to be a writer since I was a kid reading 'The Famous Five' novels but I was too busy living my life to write about it. Now, however, it seems that the time has come to write about life, rather than live it.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
October 6, 2013
"What's a Jelly Willy, Daddy?"
Do you tell the truth?
"Well, my son, it's a sweet shaped like a penis that some very sad middle aged women must have been eating when their coven got together for an Ann Summers party last night. Your pissed up mother seems to have dropped the packet on the kitchen floor when she stumbled in about 2 o'clock this morning. She must like them because she ate the lot; shame she doesn't like real willy as much."
Or do you try to brush it aside so your sons don't think badly of their mom?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-Wit ... =jonny+cox
"Well, my son, it's a sweet shaped like a penis that some very sad middle aged women must have been eating when their coven got together for an Ann Summers party last night. Your pissed up mother seems to have dropped the packet on the kitchen floor when she stumbled in about 2 o'clock this morning. She must like them because she ate the lot; shame she doesn't like real willy as much."
Or do you try to brush it aside so your sons don't think badly of their mom?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-Wit ... =jonny+cox
September 27, 2013
Love Without Lust
I have encountered several people in the last month, men and women, who in earlier life might have raised an eyebrow, a flicker of interest in my wandering eye. I have always been interested in women, socially, emotionally and physically but blokes have always been an element of competition for me; in sport, in work, in lust of women. However, I've had such trouble with girls and still found myself alone, that I am wondering if my focus is all wrong.
I was having dinner with my parents recently in a restaurant and the waiter was very attentive. My mom commented that he seemed to be smiling at me a lot and hovering around the table. That brought a different angle to the question; he was a good looking fellah and I am feeling rather isolated. That made me wonder if a relationship with a bloke could have all the benefits of a romantic partnership but without the trouble with girls. And post coital conversation could be about something interesting like sport or politics. In reality though, I would not know whether to give or take and I’m obviously not good at finding the right balance in this context.
What I do find, however, is that age and infirmity have meant that my libido is no longer the driving force in my life and I am not compelled to rush into relationships anymore. Plato apparently said that love without lust was pointless. He further explored Eros’ philosophy to deduce that lust is an important factor in the human condition; it ensures the continuation of the species. Presumably, this is the imperative behind the Catholic Church’s denial of contraception. It also perhaps explains the Ancient Greeks’ apparent predilection for homosexuality: a man could be driven by lust, partake in human relationships, and not have trouble with girls; smart blokes the Greeks.
But, I have asked myself the question and found that men are just not my thing. It seems that if I am not to be a solitary man, I will be forever in trouble.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
I was having dinner with my parents recently in a restaurant and the waiter was very attentive. My mom commented that he seemed to be smiling at me a lot and hovering around the table. That brought a different angle to the question; he was a good looking fellah and I am feeling rather isolated. That made me wonder if a relationship with a bloke could have all the benefits of a romantic partnership but without the trouble with girls. And post coital conversation could be about something interesting like sport or politics. In reality though, I would not know whether to give or take and I’m obviously not good at finding the right balance in this context.
What I do find, however, is that age and infirmity have meant that my libido is no longer the driving force in my life and I am not compelled to rush into relationships anymore. Plato apparently said that love without lust was pointless. He further explored Eros’ philosophy to deduce that lust is an important factor in the human condition; it ensures the continuation of the species. Presumably, this is the imperative behind the Catholic Church’s denial of contraception. It also perhaps explains the Ancient Greeks’ apparent predilection for homosexuality: a man could be driven by lust, partake in human relationships, and not have trouble with girls; smart blokes the Greeks.
But, I have asked myself the question and found that men are just not my thing. It seems that if I am not to be a solitary man, I will be forever in trouble.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
September 10, 2013
Unintentional Flattery
A female colleague took 'The Trouble with Girls' on holiday with her.
"It's rather salacious," she said. "My partner was not too happy, but it is very engaging. I haven't finished it because I had already started reading Dan Brown's 'Inferno' and kept flitting between the two." Her demeanour as she spoke was apologetic. She presumably thought I'd be disappointed because her attention had not been focussed on my book.
But for an unknown writer to be compared, even mentioned, in relation to such a successful author is heartening. I look at it from a different perspective: her attention had been shared between our books.
Praise indeed.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
"It's rather salacious," she said. "My partner was not too happy, but it is very engaging. I haven't finished it because I had already started reading Dan Brown's 'Inferno' and kept flitting between the two." Her demeanour as she spoke was apologetic. She presumably thought I'd be disappointed because her attention had not been focussed on my book.
But for an unknown writer to be compared, even mentioned, in relation to such a successful author is heartening. I look at it from a different perspective: her attention had been shared between our books.
Praise indeed.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
September 8, 2013
Do I Need Any More Trouble With Girls?
My wife and I are splitting up. She's moving out in November but we have not been a functioning couple for 2/3 years. No worries; I’m comfortable with the idea and actually looking forward to some physical and emotional space to myself.
However, Saturday morning I went to collect my boys from football practice at the village sports ground. The practice was late finishing and my younger two boys went into the clubhouse to watch some TV whilst waiting. There's a coffee machine and I asked for a double espresso. This prompted the lady behind the bar to engage me in conversation:
"It's really strong, do you always drink it like that?" type of chat. She's probably early forties, bright eyes, warm smile and she is very engaging; easy to relate to, quick to laugh and constantly smiling.
She smiled at me. A lot. Other than my mother, no woman has smiled at me with such depth for years. But I’m pushing 50, have three young kids, a crappy old car, a smelly dog and a bad limp. Surely, I’m reading too much into this. It was just a smile and a chat although the “See you next weekend,” seemed to hover in the air a while as I was leaving.
But I really don’t want any more trouble with girls. Countless failed relationships and two consecutive, failed marriages is enough. I just want to be able to focus on my boys, we’re a great team, there’s no room for anyone else. It was probably my ego because I live in such an emotionally sterile environment; I was just flattered that a woman was nice to me, right?
But it was such a lovely smile…
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
However, Saturday morning I went to collect my boys from football practice at the village sports ground. The practice was late finishing and my younger two boys went into the clubhouse to watch some TV whilst waiting. There's a coffee machine and I asked for a double espresso. This prompted the lady behind the bar to engage me in conversation:
"It's really strong, do you always drink it like that?" type of chat. She's probably early forties, bright eyes, warm smile and she is very engaging; easy to relate to, quick to laugh and constantly smiling.
She smiled at me. A lot. Other than my mother, no woman has smiled at me with such depth for years. But I’m pushing 50, have three young kids, a crappy old car, a smelly dog and a bad limp. Surely, I’m reading too much into this. It was just a smile and a chat although the “See you next weekend,” seemed to hover in the air a while as I was leaving.
But I really don’t want any more trouble with girls. Countless failed relationships and two consecutive, failed marriages is enough. I just want to be able to focus on my boys, we’re a great team, there’s no room for anyone else. It was probably my ego because I live in such an emotionally sterile environment; I was just flattered that a woman was nice to me, right?
But it was such a lovely smile…
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Trouble-W...
