Tehreem Ali's Blog, page 11

Magnificent

If I were to sing,I’d sing about my favorite people and places and things.

If I were to fly,I’d conquer the world.If I were to love,I’d drown myself in the eyes of that whom I can’t yet find.

If I were to fall,I’d dust off my clothes and run for the finish line.

If I were blind,I’d look for the things everyone misses out in others.If i were paralyzed,I’d walk on the soft skies beneath my feet.

If I were heartless,I’d hope and believe till the last of strength could allow me to.

If I had no thoughts,I’d paint a picture of my emotions on the bare seas and stars.

If I had no expression,I’d float in a mist of ecstatic harmony with nature and its beauty.

If I was anorexic,I’d eat up all the hate others throw towards me.

If I were to reach higher,I’d snatch every star and place it in every human’s life to make it glow.

If I were to go away,I’d never think of letting go the reins of my high horses.

And if I were to die,I’d be dying to be reborn.

Filed under: Optimism Tagged: human nature, optimism

Why Do We Even Bother?!

I start my day with what they have fed to me since I learned how to hold a pencil:study.I spend the rest of it doing what they give me in breakfast which is pages and words:study. I end my day doing what they have filled in my head and heart during the time the orange and red streaks of sun rays started and ended their dance on the bleak horizon:study. It’s what I am made of,what they have told me all my life,what they have brain-washed me to believe in,what they show me every time a spark of life and fun it brings with it tries to dance before my eyes.

Someone said that we come into this world alone and we go alone…but do we?

We start our lives thinking we will study hard,make our parents proud,get a job and be successful and those of us who are mere romantics think and plan of marriage and kids too.Others,just a job,good money to fill our hands with and a nice and cozy home to live the rest of our pathetic lives in!

Then,when nothing goes according to our plans and visions of the future,we decay in the pots we have created for own nourishment,bent and broken and wilted and scarred and hurt and alone….and wanting to take back our wish to study and get a job and have a life,instead wanting we had wished for just life itself,pure and simple!

Either way,we end up screwed,whether we go by the rules and the books or not.So my question is:why do we even bother when we have life at our fingertips?when we can be so much more than just splitting atoms or painting bacteria just to see their insides?

I listen to a song Youth by Daughter.In it,Elena Tonra,the lead singer,says:-

We are the reckless,

We are the wild youth

Chasing visions of our futures

One day we’ll reveal the truth

That one will die before he gets there

At the mention of the lines ‘chasing visions of our futures one day we’ll reveal the truth that one will die before he gets there’,I always thought it sounded wrong somehow,that we don’t really know what fate and destiny has in store for us as a result of which we just have to keep on trying n planning and living – but now I understand these lines so perfectly as if I had composed them myself.I am a big,HUGE planner.I plan how I am gonna decorate my future house,how I am gonna furnish it and definitely make a huge library in it,with a large,black/brown leather chair with a tiny side table alongside it to keep my coffee cup on while reading some book,how I am gonna put up my own paintings in different galleries all across the house and etc etc etc………….

But will I even get there?Will the world still be thriving till my time comes?Will time be as it is now?Will I even care by then?Maybe the answer to all these questions is yes.In that case,this is probably the teen hormones kicking in my system,making me what I am right now,bringing out emotions I feel right now.But if this isn’t the case,then right now I am probably among the most insane or mature or sophisticated,call it what you like,it all sounds the same to me,people in the world who see life for what it’s worth!

When the ancients created this whole pathetic system of education,of getting primary and secondary and then tertiary education and all that crap,they should seriously have considered the fact that after their time the world to be is going to be much progressed and hence there would be more stuff to study about,more amount of knowledge at our disposal to poke our annoyingly curious noses into.But unfortunately,they didn’t. In their time,all they knew was simple basic science and languages but now,after eons of time have passed,we have so much in this world as well as that of others to know about.The ancients had enough time to sit and look at nature and appreciate it beauty,to roam around aimlessly in gardens and valleys,to bathe in the sunlight and in other words just to do something OTHER than studying!But sadly,we can’t do all this as we don’t have such spare time due to the immensity of ‘knowledge’ we have to crack into our skulls!

Maybe I sound paranoid,maybe I seem annoying or pathetic or foolish or lame or lonely or ignorant or a zillion other such things – but take a look deep inside your heads and hearts and ask yourselves whether you feel the same way or not.After all,we are all made in the same image,aren’t we?

Filed under: Teen Stuff Tagged: depression, life, regret, studies, teen, wants

Ordinary Love

We ignore that slight warmth of breath of a lover on our neck,

We don’t see the first rays of dawn that streak in our room from the window and close our sleepy eyes on it,

We refuse to bath in the tender waves of joy throwing us in a hazy comfort only visible to us,

We are deaf to the sound of music dancing in the morning breeze which is nothing but a chorus of birds and their songs of delight and thankfulness to God for another day to live,

We can’t feel the tender thought of another’s kindness as it goes by in the hallway of our empty minds,

We are blind to the colours of life that fill the darkness of reality,

We don’t acknowledge the kind souls floating by around us,

We are ghosts of the true selves we were meant to be,

We are a void of the reality we speak of,

We can’t feel ordinary love.

The flood of emotions,the torment of letting go of someone’s kindness due to someone else’s stubbornness to see the kindness when it exists,the passage of time which seems ignorant of the pain it washes over as it passes by,an impenetrable wall of loneliness,and least but not the least,the amazing and beautiful song Ordinary Love by U2 which is all that I hear right now is the inspiration for this amateur post!

Filed under: Amateur Tagged: amateur

Some People You Just Won’t Forget!

I wish i was a heartless person,if a person can be heartless in the first place,in the literal sense,for then I wouldn’t feel the pain and regret of leaving the few people I really care about in this world when the time comes…..

Have just realized how one person cares for me soooo much in this world,more than my friends who I thought care alot for me,more than my family…more than even I care for myself!And I don’t want to let them down.It’s people like this,people who really make your life worth living,that are so hard to let go.And this I hate more than anything in this entire twisted place of a world:letting go.I would like to scream at the freak who introduced this lame philosophy to the world about how we have to let go.We don’t HAVE to let go,we don’t HAVE to do anything really,if we’re not up to it.It’s just the basic concept now embedded in the deepest layers of our minds that we find hard to not believe.Otherwise even the lamest of fashion trends would have survived their time and exist today in their full bloom and glamour…if only we stuck to them!But no,they didn’t,and why?Because we so-called ‘let go’!They say we have to let go for new,better things to come in the place of what we give up,but that’s not entirely true either;if good and new things are meant to be they will come to us.If it’s already written in our fates or lucks or call what you might,then we will get them.No need of giving up something else just so something better can take its place.That just sounds so incredibly pathetic!

W shouldn’t do things that we will regret so badly afterwards.Of course,at the onset we can’t tell much,whether we will regret what we are doing or not,but deep inside,a part of us knows,a part of us is whispering to us to not let go…but we never listen to our selves now,do we?We let go,and then after realizing our folly,long for that thing/person to return to us,look at that door we’ve closed so tight and have thrown its key somewhere in the void of reality,that we don’t see the other good things coming to us.

I can’t really decide right now as to how I shall explain my feelings,so am just going to do it in the best way i know how to:through the power of poetry!So,I dedicate these following few lines to that special person I am finding so hard to let go when the time will come,and that time will be after exactly 1 year and 23 days…

How will I see beauty if you’re not there?

For everyone says that life will be unfair.

These little bit of tears and smiles you bring out in me

Are the wings I will later long to grow to feel free.

You show me the good and the bad

And are there for me when I am feeling sad.

If I scream or complain,you hold my heart tight,

Giving me meaning and a good reason to fight.

Sometimes I might mistake you for what you are not

Even though in my heart I know you’re the one I’ve sought.

Where will I find the comfort of a friend like you

After I leave this place of black and blue?

So now my mind is sinking and I feel hollow

When I think of the time I’ll have to let you go.

 

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: caring, depression, letting go, regret, true friend

“When I stand b…

“When I stand before God at the end of my life,I wish I don’t have any bit of talent left and could say,’I used up everything you gave me.’”

-Iris Murdoch

“When I stand b…
Filed under: Optimism

Life As I Know It Now!!!

Well,to start off with,this mess of over-exaggerated feelings they call ‘teen life’ is really getting on my nerves.

You go to school/high school/university,all they tell you is STUDY!You get home/hostel,all they tell you is STUDY!But alas,why doesn’t anyone ever tell us to HAVE FUN or ENJOY LIFE?!

I’m sure God made us for far more purposes than just to study.Especially studies that just involve sitting in class wanting to do nothing more than either bang your head on the wall or someone else’s,drowsy eyed,constantly at war with the confusion in your head and heart,sleepily looking at the person standing before you and wondering if a cool celebrity was standing in their place,stealing lunch from others and eating secretly with your head bend under you desk etc etc etc…

It’s all just books books books and theory theory theory…nothing fun,nothing practical,nothing to take the edge off of the words read from pages later on swimming and drowning on our tongues.The people teaching are only doing it to get paid,the ones being taught just do it to get marks.So where has the REAL purpose of studies disappeared to?The purpose that concerns humans gaining knowledge about themselves and their surroundings instead of gaining money and marks?!This kind of study doesn’t deserve to be thought of as ‘knowledge’ in the first place anyway!

And then when you do become the puppet they handle through their tactful strings,when you do start to study and study and just study till your last breath,they tell you STOP STUDYING!!! I mean,where is the bloody sense in all this anyway?!Study or no study?You can either live or die,not in between….but sadly,they don’t get it,do they?

So they think being our elders,having a chance to control our lives and make something perfect out of them that they couldn’t make out of theirs,they can just bully us around into studying….but what if we had our windows to the mind closed all along?

Filed under: Teen Stuff Tagged: depression, studies, teen life