Why Do We Even Bother?!

I start my day with what they have fed to me since I learned how to hold a pencil:study.I spend the rest of it doing what they give me in breakfast which is pages and words:study. I end my day doing what they have filled in my head and heart during the time the orange and red streaks of sun rays started and ended their dance on the bleak horizon:study. It’s what I am made of,what they have told me all my life,what they have brain-washed me to believe in,what they show me every time a spark of life and fun it brings with it tries to dance before my eyes.

Someone said that we come into this world alone and we go alone…but do we?

We start our lives thinking we will study hard,make our parents proud,get a job and be successful and those of us who are mere romantics think and plan of marriage and kids too.Others,just a job,good money to fill our hands with and a nice and cozy home to live the rest of our pathetic lives in!

Then,when nothing goes according to our plans and visions of the future,we decay in the pots we have created for own nourishment,bent and broken and wilted and scarred and hurt and alone….and wanting to take back our wish to study and get a job and have a life,instead wanting we had wished for just life itself,pure and simple!

Either way,we end up screwed,whether we go by the rules and the books or not.So my question is:why do we even bother when we have life at our fingertips?when we can be so much more than just splitting atoms or painting bacteria just to see their insides?

I listen to a song Youth by Daughter.In it,Elena Tonra,the lead singer,says:-

We are the reckless,

We are the wild youth

Chasing visions of our futures

One day we’ll reveal the truth

That one will die before he gets there

At the mention of the lines ‘chasing visions of our futures one day we’ll reveal the truth that one will die before he gets there’,I always thought it sounded wrong somehow,that we don’t really know what fate and destiny has in store for us as a result of which we just have to keep on trying n planning and living – but now I understand these lines so perfectly as if I had composed them myself.I am a big,HUGE planner.I plan how I am gonna decorate my future house,how I am gonna furnish it and definitely make a huge library in it,with a large,black/brown leather chair with a tiny side table alongside it to keep my coffee cup on while reading some book,how I am gonna put up my own paintings in different galleries all across the house and etc etc etc………….

But will I even get there?Will the world still be thriving till my time comes?Will time be as it is now?Will I even care by then?Maybe the answer to all these questions is yes.In that case,this is probably the teen hormones kicking in my system,making me what I am right now,bringing out emotions I feel right now.But if this isn’t the case,then right now I am probably among the most insane or mature or sophisticated,call it what you like,it all sounds the same to me,people in the world who see life for what it’s worth!

When the ancients created this whole pathetic system of education,of getting primary and secondary and then tertiary education and all that crap,they should seriously have considered the fact that after their time the world to be is going to be much progressed and hence there would be more stuff to study about,more amount of knowledge at our disposal to poke our annoyingly curious noses into.But unfortunately,they didn’t. In their time,all they knew was simple basic science and languages but now,after eons of time have passed,we have so much in this world as well as that of others to know about.The ancients had enough time to sit and look at nature and appreciate it beauty,to roam around aimlessly in gardens and valleys,to bathe in the sunlight and in other words just to do something OTHER than studying!But sadly,we can’t do all this as we don’t have such spare time due to the immensity of ‘knowledge’ we have to crack into our skulls!

Maybe I sound paranoid,maybe I seem annoying or pathetic or foolish or lame or lonely or ignorant or a zillion other such things – but take a look deep inside your heads and hearts and ask yourselves whether you feel the same way or not.After all,we are all made in the same image,aren’t we?

Filed under: Teen Stuff Tagged: depression, life, regret, studies, teen, wants