Steven Colborne's Blog, page 67

Happy New Year | 2019

Thank you so much for the warm and heartfelt response to my recent post describing why I walked out of my father’s home on Christmas Day. I know many of you have been praying over this situation, and I’m grateful to have your support as well as some very understanding people in my immediate network who have been helping me through what has been a difficult few days.

I’ve been sharing quite a few posts related to my personal life recently, which is not characteristic of the way I usually blog. This is primarily a philosophy and theology blog, and those are the subjects to which I dedicate most of my time, thought, and writing.

The most important element of my writing here on Perfect Chaos is looking in depth at God’s attributes and the theology surrounding them. In particular, I focus on God’s attribute of omnipresence and how that relates to the free will problem. If you’d like an overview concerning why this topic is so important in my view, please check out my essay entitled ‘An Almighty Predicament: A discourse on the Arguments For and Against Christianity’, which is available as a PDF download at the top of my Essays Page.

In 2019 my focus will be on more of the same, but my main project for this year is a new book which I have been working on over the last few months. The book offers a comprehensive overview of my arguments concerning why I don’t believe we have free will, and the implications of this perspective for religious belief. I’ll be posting again soon with more details, including the book’s title and artwork.

If there are any significant changes in my personal life, including the situation with my father, I will update you on those, too.

Many thanks for following Perfect Chaos! I wish you God’s richest blessings for 2019, and please know that I regularly pray for all of my blog followers and really value your participation on this blog – every ‘like’ and ‘comment’ really means the world!

My Dad has Abused me for 36 Years

Emotional manipulation can be subtle, persistent, and cruel. It is only when a person who is being abusive is struck by remorse, or guilt, that finally the truth can come out and healing can take place.

Christmas Day 2018 may have marked an important turning point in my life and in the lives of my family members. It was significant because I felt I couldn’t cope any more with what has been a lifetime of my father aggressively manipulating me. On Christmas morning I had a choice – it could be one more day of pretending, or I could muster up every ounce of courage I had, and tell my father how I was feeling, and walk out.

I know Christmas is a difficult time for so many families, because it is a time when repressed tensions and emotions can surface, often in the form of superficial bickering that fails to reveal the underlying emotional pain and deeper issues of emotional hurt and disorder that family members may be experiencing.

This Christmas there were three of us; my dad’s partner, my dad, and myself. After a night of disturbing dreams on Christmas Eve, I woke early on Christmas morning with a dread about how the day would unfold. I knelt down and said a few prayers, asking God what I should do. Should I put on a brave face and try to stick it out? Or should I leave and head back to my flat in London?

God indicated that leaving would be the best thing to do. After a few minutes I packed up my things and gathered my courage. I could hear my dad walking about downstairs, and I resolved to explain to him in a calm way how I was feeling. It was a terrifying feeling, but not as terrifying as the prospect of sitting through the charade of present-giving and playing happy families for another year.

When speaking honestly with my dad, there is always a tremendous fear that he will react defensively and aggressively, as he has done throughout my life whenever I have found the courage to share my feelings. On this occasion I felt no different. But, thankfully, the years I spent attending psychotherapy have given me some courage, and the ability to express myself calmly even when under pressure.

I explained to my dad that I felt angry, stressed, and upset, and that I didn’t feel I would be able to cope with another distressing Christmas. I said I was going to head back to London. My dad responded with what I believe was probably mock surprise – perhaps an attempt to make me feel guilty – and then briefly tried to keep me under his control, but thankfully, I made it out of the door without any drama.

The extent to which I have suffered at the hands of my dad for my entire life cannot be condensed into a short, or even a fairly long blog post. In the coming months I will share with you how events unfold, but for the time being I will simply share a few thoughts concerning what my dad has done to our family.

My mother became ill with cancer and died following many years of my father angrily and aggressively abusing her. I believe she died as a result of this abuse and my dad’s unwillingness (or inability) to empathise with her.

I believe everything I’ve experienced in terms of mental health problems is attributable to my father. I have felt as though I’ve been trapped in a prison for my entire life, because of my dad’s own mental health problems, which he has never admitted to, and which I believe may constitute a personality disorder.

My father is completely in denial. He never talks about anything to do with my mother’s suffering or her death. I have been fortunate to have processed a lot of emotion surrounding my mother’s death in psychotherapy, but my dad has never opened up about what happened and I believe he suppresses the truth, perhaps due to feelings of guilt.

My dad seriously needs psychological therapy. His house is in a complete state and he has an entrenched fear of any kind of change and of talking about anything other than what is very superficial.

My dad needs to cry. He needs to open up and confront the past. It doesn’t have to be difficult. I’m not angry with him at all, but I can’t be happy unless he heals, because his unexpressed feelings impact me every day. He needs the help of a therapist with emotional expertise.

I have never been more optimistic that healing can take place in our family. As I expressed to my sister recently, I believe that everything that has been hidden in our family will come to light, and as long as my dad doesn’t remain in denial, everything will be okay.

I know I’m not perfect and that I’ve made some mistakes in my own life. When I have made a mistake, I have always apologised and tried to make things right. When my behaviour has been erratic, I hope those who know me will be able to understand that it’s due to not having had the love and support of a father that every boy needs. Perhaps my father never had that kind of support either, but he has never talked about it, so how would anyone know?

Thank you, blogging family, for your prayers, which I have no doubt God has heard. Your support is deeply appreciated and I hope to get back to writing about my big passions of philosophy and theology before too long.

Wishing you all a peaceful and blessed 2019!

Love from Steven x

My Housing Review Today

The response to my previous post about my housing situation was so generous – thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read the article and special thanks for the prayers and encouraging comments. The review meeting was today so I thought I’d provide a brief update.

I was pretty nervous this morning before the meeting, but I managed to have a healthy breakfast and catch up on some emails. I spent a bit of time in prayer, too, and then just before 11am I left the flat and headed to the Mind office where the review was to take place.

The lady from the council had arrived before me, so I quickly got a glass of water and then we sat down and started chatting. We were waiting for a third person to join the meeting – my Mind support worker – who arrived a little later. Before long the meeting was underway and I was answering questions about my health, my background, and my accommodation.

The meeting lasted for around an hour, and I decided I would just be completely open about my thoughts and feelings, answering every question as truthfully as possible. The other people in the meeting had both read my blog post from last Wednesday, so they understood my situation and my thoughts pretty well.

The meeting went smoothly but got somewhat sticky when it came to the subject of why I wasn’t wanting to move on from my present accommodation. The lady from the council explained that they view my present accommodation as temporary, and as a stepping stone towards more independent living, and I explained that before moving in I had been told by the then housing manager at Mind that this would be permanent accommodation.

I explained that I have prayed often about my circumstances, work, health, finances, and the possibility of moving, but that God had told me he wanted me to stay where I am living. The others listened patiently, but I felt there was some tension around this particular topic, as I think all three of us felt my insistence on staying seemed somewhat counterintuitive, and contrary to societal pressure to be progressing, earning more, being more independent, etc. We did talk a little about my heart problems, but only in passing.

On reflection, perhaps the reason for the tension was that the others were both concerned about how they would handle the unusual situation of a client stating that their reason for not wanting to move on was an instruction from God. After all, they both will have had to report back to their managers after the meeting. What would they say? The fact is, people either don’t hear from God often or don’t speak openly about the fact that they do hear from God, which makes this a very taboo area, particularly in the mental health world where ‘hearing voices’ is often perceived to be due to a chemical imbalance in the brain.

The council representative said she respects people’s religious beliefs, and it was reassuring to hear that. My Mind support worker is a Christian and said she understood very well what I was saying about hearing from God. But even so, there was tension in the room in relation to this topic.

I left the meeting feeling somewhat stressed, and I remain stressed now at 8pm in the evening. The lady from the council did reassure me that they won’t and can’t force me to leave my current accommodation, so that was reassuring. But I wanted there to be peace in the minds of all who attended the meeting, as well as an agreed way forward, and I didn’t feel like that happened.

I’m feeling uncertain. Uncertain about why God wants me to stay in this flat and uncertain about what will happen as a result of today’s review. I believe there will now be conversation between the social worker (the lady from the council), my Mind support worker, and my care coordinator (who wasn’t in the meeting), and I don’t know what will happen next.

This evening I’ve been listening to a few of my favourite hymns and spiritual songs, and I’ve found them to be very uplifting, although I still have a stress headache. This is all happening because I’m trying to trust God and be obedient to Him; trying to put my trust in His words to me rather than entertaining any desires and motivations that involve other living situations I’m tempted to explore.

I’m a bit frustrated with God, to be honest. He is so utterly wonderful and amazing, yet sometimes the way He unfolds events confuses me. His ways are higher than my ways, and He has been doing this game of life for a long time, so I’m trying to trust in that, as much as He allows me too. I will count my blessings, stay focused on my book project, and keep on keeping on.

Thank you for reading! Do you have any thoughts, insights, or advice to offer? Have you ever been in a similar situation? Feel free to leave a comment below. Much love and gratitude to everyone who follows this blog!

The Materialism of Thomas Hobbes

Welcome to this week’s philosophy post. Today, I’ll be offering a snapshot of the life and thought of the British philosopher Thomas Hobbes, who lived between 1588 – 1679 and is known for his materialist perspective, as well as for being one of the founders of modern political philosophy.

Who Was He?

Thomas Hobbes grew up in England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I. He was educated at Oxford, and after securing a role as tutor to the son of a prominent Earl, he obtained access to a first-class library, and went on to travel extensively, mingling with many of the leading intellectuals of his time, including the likes of the French philosopher Descartes (with whom he corresponded about philosophy), and the Italian scientist Galileo.

Hobbes wrote on a range of subjects, from the physics of gases to theology, but is best known for his political theory. His most famous work is Leviathan (1651), in which he presented his views on metaphysics, psychology, and political philosophy.

What’s the Big Idea?

Hobbes is often regarded as the first modern materialist, and here’s a quote from Leviathan which gives us a helpful insight into his worldview:

“The universe, that is the whole mass of things that are, is corporeal, that is to say body; and hath the dimensions of magnitude, namely, length, breadth, and depth. Also every part of body is likewise body, and hath the like dimensions. And consequently, every part of the universe is body, and that which is not body is no part of the universe. And because the universe is all, that which is no part of it is nothing, and, consequently nowhere.”

My Reflections

Materialism is a philosophical perspective that endures to the present day, and if anything, has become increasingly prevalent in recent years as we have seen the rise of science and a decline in the popularity of religion in many Western societies (certainly here in England). In contemporary scientific thinking, the human being is often viewed as a machine (the body) run by a machine (the brain), which accords perfectly with the phrase from Hobbes quoted above, that “every part of body is likewise body”.

One of the problems with materialism is that is clashes with the widely held idea that human beings have free will, and contemporary moral philosophers, such as Sam Harris, have found it very difficult to reconcile the two. Harris, who doesn’t believe in free will, can only explain our present-moment activity in terms of a chain of physical events that goes all the way back to the origin of creation and a ‘Big Bang’ event.

In terms of my own worldview, however, there is a different and I believe better way to resolve the seeming conflict between materialism and the feeling that we have free will. If an all-powerful and omnipresent God exists, we are able to explain both why scientific experiments work (because God is making causes and effects happen on every occasion that they do happen), and also why we feel we act freely (because God is animating all human activity freely in the present moment).

When Hobbes was challenged about his conception of God, he tended to dodge the question by stating that it is simply beyond our abilities as humans to comprehend God’s attributes. However, I believe we are able to understand many things about the the nature of God (if God is willing to give us such insights), and this is why I believe philosophy is still an important discipline, and why, as a deep thinker myself, I have devoted my life to studying it.

In the next Friday Philosophy post I’ll be offering a snapshot of the life and thought of the 17th-century French philosopher René Descartes, who famously explored whether it’s possible for anyone to know anything with certainty. If you’d like to follow this series, please consider subscribing to this blog. Thank you for reading!

I’m going to be real with you…

There’s a lot I need to get off my chest right now which has been simmering away in my mind, unspoken, unshared, for years. It’s time to share it all. By the time you’ve finished reading this article, you will understand me as well as I understand myself. That’s how honest I’m going to be.

I had a call yesterday from the council. The accommodation in London where I live is supported by my local Mind (a mental health charity here in the UK), which means that the council, who oversee housing in the borough, pay Mind to support me. This support normally takes the form of a monthly meeting with a support worker who focuses on helping me with any mental health concerns (plus any housing concerns).

Inevitably, this call from the council comes once a year, and I always dread it. Allow me to explain a little about why…

My rent is paid (by me) to a housing association (my landlord). Normally the rent and bills would be covered by state benefits for someone in my situation, but I inherited some money from my grandparents which meant I had to come off benefits. A lot of people try to play the system and if they inherit money they will conceal it from the government, but that’s not my style at all. I like to keep a clear conscience and be able to sleep at night, so I declared the inheritance the moment I got it. The money I inherited is now running out, so within the next few months I will need to either be working or will have to go through the process of attempting to claim state benefits again, so I can afford to pay my rent and living costs.

There’s part of me that would love to work, as I’m a motivated person and earning money is always very satisfying, but there are some health reasons why I don’t think I can work, and I’m not sure whether I will ever be able to work again. I have a serious problem with my heart which I have been unable to get a diagnosis for, despite going to the hospital Accident & Emergency department on one occasion a few months ago when I was experiencing severe palpitations. I also had some tests done, including a 24 hour ECG, on another occasion.

It took a lot of courage for me to seek medical help for my heart, as the thought of operations has always terrified me. In any case, the doctors who I spoke with didn’t take my concerns particularly seriously, and rather than persisting with trying to get a diagnosis, I gave up. The reason why I gave up is because my experience with the National Health Service (NHS) was terrible – my local hospital feels more like a torture house than a place of recovery. Staff are terribly overworked (and, in my experience, very unprofessional in many cases), departments are underfunded, and due to numerous bad experiences I honestly don’t trust doctors to give me a correct diagnosis, and I certainly wouldn’t trust them to operate on my heart. A lot of people exercise a kind of blind faith in the medical profession, but I’ve witnessed too many horrors to be so naive. Of course, I’m not saying all doctors are bad, and many health professionals are very well-intentioned and do amazing work. But things in London at the moment are not good at all.

As well as my problems with my heart, I have a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder (a combination of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia). I believe this is an appropriate diagnosis that reflects the symptoms I experience when I’m unwell accurately. Some readers will be shocked to learn of this, as I have been told I come across as very ‘normal’, but believe me, I’ve had some pretty intense episodes of mental illness. And despite the fact I haven’t been admitted to hospital for around 5 years, I experience residual psychosis on a daily basis, which manifests as paranoia, anxiety, minor delusions, and minor obsessive compulsive disorder. These symptoms are another reason why working could be problematic.

Despite my mental health problems, which are not insignificant, I’m fortunate to be very capable – I have had a good eduction and have good job experience and am able to function pretty well the majority of the time. Medication (which I take in the form of a monthly injection, as well as some tablets) seems to play a role in keeping me from experiencing the more severe effects of psychosis. The trouble is, when I take on stress, as would inevitably happen were I to start working, it aggravates my heart condition (I start to get severe palpitations), and I also get stress-related panic attacks. So, realistically, as much as I would like to, I don’t think I can work.

In a country where doctors are treated as saints, how am I supposed to make the council understand that I don’t trust the NHS to sort out my heart problems? To be entitled to government support I need to justify why I am unable to work, but I fear the council would not take my concerns about the state of the NHS seriously.

The lady from the council who phoned me yesterday wanted to set up a meeting with myself, her, and my support worker from Mind next week for a review of the mental health support I’m getting and my accommodation. We have a date and time in the diary (next Tuesday at 11am). I love where I live, both the flat itself and the local area, but there’s a certain amount of confusion over whether I can stay here long-term. When I first moved in, I was told it was permanent accommodation, but in my annual reviews with the council they are always trying to ‘work towards move-on’. It’s really confusing because, from what I can gather, if they ‘move me on’ it will just be to similar accommodation with another housing association, only without the support from Mind. I have tried to insist that this would be an unnecessary upheaval, and that it would make more sense for me to simply stay here (with or without the support from Mind). I’m a good tenant, I have paid my rent on time every month without exception, and I don’t bother anyone. It’s very unsettling feeling that I may have to move out at any time.

What complicates matters is that Mind have a contractual arrangement with the housing association. As I understand the situation, a certain number of flats are allocated to Mind by the housing association for people with mental health problems. So Mind have an interest in the flat where I live. I would like to just have a normal tenancy with the housing association, but if I were to do that Mind would effectively lose one of their properties, which they are reluctant to do. I have discussed with the housing manager at Mind the possibility of signing a new contract with the housing association that would give me a more secure tenancy, but if this were to happen he would want Mind to be allocated an alternative property to avoid the charity losing out, which I do understand (Mind are a very caring bunch and I do believe they work in the best interests of their clients). The housing manager at Mind tried talking to the housing association about this but they were unresponsive.

The only alternative to this housing muddle that I can envisage is that I enter full-time employment and move to a cheaper part of the world, as the area of London in which I live has really expensive rent. It would be incredibly difficult for me to rent privately anywhere, though, as landlords tend to steer well clear of people who have mental health problems (I have personally been discriminated against because of this), and as I have been out of work since 2009 there’s a long gap in my employment record to try to justify to any prospective landlords.

If I were to start work I could look into the possibility of putting a deposit down on a property and getting a large mortgage, but that would tie me into working full-time for the next 25 years at least, and seeing as I’ve had four psychiatric hospital admissions (being sectioned each time) since 2007, and have the aforementioned problems with my heart, I doubt I could even get a mortgage, let alone commit to paying one off for 25 years.

Despite my somewhat turbulent mental health journey, I have been blessed with an abundance of passions, interests, and skills. I love writing and have written two books and am working on a third book at the moment. The process of writing and self-publishing my third book is going really well and I believe the book has a lot of potential. I have studied philosophy and theology in some depth, and have spent a lot of time pondering and researching the big questions surrounding our existence. I believe I have something genuinely worthwhile to contribute to these fields. It seems to me that God gives everyone dreams and ambitions, and that every human life has a purpose, and I feel that writing about these subjects and sharing my insights into the nature of reality is my life’s purpose – it excites me, inspires me, motivates me, and gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

The final thing I want to write about in this post is not easy to discuss, but very important. I believe in God. I pray a lot about my circumstances and God talks to me (I wrote a blog post entitled Hearing Voices or Hearing God? which you can read if you’d like to know more about this experience). I make sure I have some quality prayer time every Sunday, and I ask God regularly if I should get a job, if I should start earning money, if I should move out, etc, and God promises me that I’m going to stay where I am and am not going to work again. Now, how am I supposed to explain that to the council? The council may offer me alternative accommodation, which to many people would seem positive, but the fact that God has spoken to me about this and promised me I’m staying where I am makes me feel I must trust what God is telling me and not pursue alternative accommodation, even if I’m offered it. I feel that having a conversation with God is a very private and personal thing and I don’t really feel like explaining it to anyone I don’t know really well, including people from the council, who as far as I know might be atheists and therefore would attribute every experience of this type to chemical imbalances in the brain.

All of the things I’ve written about in this post have been on my mind for the last few years and I have felt unable to talk about them with anyone (except God). If there are any atheists reading this, please know that there are very many people who hear the voice of God, even if there is a certain stigma around admitting it. I have been to churches where people talk very openly about conversations they have had with God and the things God has told them. For those who haven’t had this experience and don’t believe there is a God who communicates with humans, I understand – I have tremendous respect for atheists because I was one myself for many years.

So there we have it. I’ve come clean with you, and now you know 100% of what I’m currently battling with in my life. I know that compared to some people I’m incredibly fortunate and have a lot of positives in my life. I don’t take my abundant blessings for granted. I’ve had all of this weighing on my mind for a long time so felt it was about time I opened up and shared it. I believe in honesty, even when it’s tough.

If you’ve read the entirety of this post, thank you very much indeed. You’re welcome to leave any thoughts in the comments below, or just hit the like button to let me know you’re not going to disown me after reading all this! I’m very grateful for your time. Peace and blessings, Steven x

Details of my New Book

Over the last few months I’ve been putting together a new book. In the past, I’ve published my books with an assisted publishing company, who have coordinated the process and done a lot of the work in terms of production. With my latest book, I’m project managing the entire process, including coordinating with editors, designers, beta readers, distributors, etc. If I’ve been a little quiet in recent weeks, it’s because I’ve been working hard on this project.

Early in 2019 I’ll be publishing a post revealing the title of the book and the cover art, but for now I just wanted to give you a taster of what you can expect from the book. So, without further ado, here’s the blurb:

The new atheism movement has highlighted many of the shortcomings of Christianity and other religions, and as we move into a ‘post-truth’ age, many people are wondering whether there is still a place for God in society. Has science consigned God to the evolutionary scrapheap?

In this bold and insightful book, British philosopher Steven Colborne strongly argues that God exists, but also criticises many of the key doctrines of Christianity and other world religions that present, in his view, a warped understanding of the nature of God.

Tackling subjects such as free will, suffering, morality, and the afterlife, Colborne presents a grand vision of reality with God at the centre. The book not only looks backward at the religions that have shaped our world, but also to the future – a future in which Colborne believes science, technology, and a new kind of religion, will all have a meaningful role to play.

If the book sounds interesting to you and you would like to receive further details nearer the release date, please sign up to my email list here. Everyone who joins my email list will immediately receive a free PDF copy of an eBook I published earlier this year entitled Finding Your Balance: The 10 Key Ingredients of a Happy Life.

Thank you for reading!

Has Science Superseded Religion?

Welcome to this week’s Friday Philosophy post. Today we’ll be shining the spotlight on the English philosopher and politician Sir Francis Bacon, who lived between 1561–1626 AD and has been referred to as the Godfather of Science.

Who Was He?

Francis Bacon was a polymath, distinguished in a range of fields from law and literature to philosophy and science. He was born into a privileged family – his father was Lord Keeper of the Great Seal of Elizabeth I, a position within the British nobility which he would eventually hold himself.

He became a member of parliament at the age of only 23, having been educated at Cambridge University. At the age of 36, Bacon published his book Essayes, his most famous work, in which he gave his views on a range of subjects both personal and political.

Two of the most famous British scientists, Charles Darwin and Issac Newton, both acknowledged their indebtedness to Bacon’s work. Immanuel Kant placed a quotation from Bacon at the beginning of the revised edition of his Critique of Pure Reason.

What’s the Big Idea?

Bacon is often credited as being the first philosopher in a line of thought known as British empiricism. The work of Bacon marked a shift away from Renaissance thinking, with its reverence for the knowledge of the ancient world, and into the modern science we are more familiar with today.

Bacon placed a real focus on promoting the usefulness of science when it comes to transforming people’s lives. He did a lot of work developing the scientific method, with a focus on experimentation, and he did significant work in refining the way scientific observations should be carried out.

My Reflections

It’s interesting to consider why in the present day there is so much conflict between scientific and religious thinkers. I believe much of the conflict is unnecessary because, despite being a theist myself, I am able to celebrate and appreciate the tremendous contribution scientific thinkers like Bacon have made to the modern world with all its material benefits.

Bacon was criticised for focusing too heavily on scientific experimentation to the exclusion of the kind of imaginative leaps that characterise human progress. I believe the world religions have produced wonderful contributions to the story of humanity, and more recently, so have scientists.

Because I am convinced that God exists, I don’t think there will ever be a time when humans unanimously agree that science has superseded religion. I find it hard to believe God would let that happen. On the contrary, I think the future offers tremendous opportunity for the greatest achievements of science and religion to be celebrated alongside one another.

In an age where the world is getting smaller (metaphorically speaking) due to the pacy march forward of technologies like the internet, there is more opportunity for interdisciplinary dialogue than ever before. Perhaps theologians can learn from scientists like Bacon, and scientists can also learn from theologians.

In next week’s philosophy post we’ll be shining the spotlight on Thomas Hobbes, who has been described as the the first modern materialist. If you’re interested in following this series, which looks at the most important philosophers in history, please consider subscribing to this blog. Thank you for reading!

Life Update: Gutenberg, Medication, and More!

Hi folks! This is going to be a general life update style post. I’m using the new WordPress.com Gutenberg editor, which I actually think seems pretty good on first impressions. Have you used it yet? What are your thoughts?

I’m familiar with using ‘blocks’ to create posts from other platforms (e.g. MailChimp, Medium) so it’s not a big learning curve for me. My feeling is that when people start to adjust to the new editor they will appreciate that it’s a big improvement. I do think it depends what style of blogging you do, though. The new editor is good for posting a variety of content (e.g. videos and images, as well as text), but those who prefer to simply write text might find Gutenberg is a bit ‘overkill’.

Oh, and if you haven’t already, please complain to WordPress about the advertisements that now appear in new post emails. They are awful and I feel they devalue our content and the WordPress platform in general. It doesn’t affect me as much as some bloggers as I pay for WordPress Premium so there are no adverts in my emails. But for the bloggers using the free plan – these ads are something you shouldn’t have to put up with! Make your voice heard!

Enough about WordPress. I just got back from the hospital. For those who don’t know, I have a mental health condition and currently take medication in the form of an injection once a month. It doesn’t affect my quality of life too much at the moment, although there are some niggly annoying side effects. And I worry about the long-term health risks of pumping these meds into my body. But they seem to contribute to my stability (God only knows why) so I have made the decision to stay on the injection for now. My last admission to hospital was five years ago, so high fives for that!

I’m sorry to say there will be no Friday Philosophy post this week. I wrote a post last night looking at the life and thought of Niccolo Machiavelli, but I found it impossible to write about him without getting into politics, and I really don’t want to get into politics on Perfect Chaos. I’m in a different game! So I trashed the post. I’ll resume my philosophy posts next Friday with Thomas Hobbes, who has been described as the first modern materialist (we’ll explore what that means in the post – make sure you’re subscribed to my blog if that interests you!).

Christmas is nearly here. I’m not focusing on it very much this year as I’m so busy with my book project. I’m sure I’ll fit in a trip to Oxfordshire to visit family over the holiday period, but it may only be for a day or two. Project managing the various aspects of releasing a book takes a lot of time and effort. I’m tentatively considering a February 2019 release date for the book, but if that has to be pushed back in the name of perfectionism… well, I’m keeping an open mind. I’m very excited about this book, and this is the first time I’m going solo with a book project rather than working with a self-publishing company. There’s so much to juggle – thank God for Google Keep!

On the subject of my book project, thank you so much to everyone who has recently subscribed to my YouTube channel! On Sunday I posted this video (both over on YouTube and here on Perfect Chaos) asking for help with reaching 100 subscribers, and I’m delighted to say many of you kindly obliged and I’m well past that target now, which is just awesome. Please do subscribe if you’d like to watch the philosophy and theology videos I’m planning to make in 2019; there will be lots of juicy content. And thank you especially to Thinking Moon who gave my channel a shout on her blog (check out the tagline on her blog, I absolutely love it).

I’m going to get another glass of water now, as I’m trying to dilute the effects of the medication. I’m not sure whether it makes any difference whatsover, but at least I’m doing something, and drinking lots of water is generally regarded as a good thing! In any case, thank you for reading this update and let me know in the comments how you’re doing. Bye for now!

Life Update: Gutenberg, Medication, and MORE!

Hi folks! This is going to be a general life update style post. I’m using the new WordPress.com Gutenberg editor, which I actually think seems pretty good on first impressions. Have you used it yet? What are your thoughts?

I’m familiar with using ‘blocks’ to create posts from other platforms (e.g. MailChimp, Medium) so it’s not a big learning curve for me. My feeling is that when people start to adjust to the new editor they will appreciate that it’s a big improvement. I do think it depends what style of blogging you do, though. The new editor is good for posting a variety of content (e.g. videos and images, as well as text), but those who prefer to simply write text might find Gutenberg is a bit ‘overkill’.

Oh, and if you haven’t already, please complain to WordPress about the advertisements that now appear in new post emails. They are awful and I feel they devalue our content and the WordPress platform in general. It doesn’t affect me as much as some bloggers as I pay for WordPress Premium so there are no adverts in my emails. But for the bloggers using the free plan – these ads are something you shouldn’t have to put up with! Make your voice heard!

Enough about WordPress. I just got back from the hospital. For those who don’t know, I have a mental health condition and currently take medication in the form of an injection once a month. It doesn’t affect my quality of life too much at the moment, although there are some niggly annoying side effects. And I worry about the long-term health risks of pumping these meds into my body. But they seem to contribute to my stability (God only knows why) so I have made the decision to stay on the injection for now. My last admission to hospital was five years ago, so high fives for that!

I’m sorry to say there will be no Friday Philosophy post this week. I wrote a post last night looking at the life and thought of Niccolo Machiavelli, but I found it impossible to write about him without getting into politics, and I really don’t want to get into politics on Perfect Chaos. I’m in a different game! So I trashed the post. I’ll resume my philosophy posts next Friday with Thomas Hobbes, who has been described as the first modern materialist (we’ll explore what that means in the post – make sure you’re subscribed to my blog if that interests you!).

Christmas is nearly here. I’m not focusing on it very much this year as I’m so busy with my book project. I’m sure I’ll fit in a trip to Oxfordshire to visit family over the holiday period, but it may only be for a day or two. Project managing the various aspects of releasing a book takes a lot of time and effort. I’m tentatively considering a February 2019 release date for the book, but if that has to be pushed back in the name of perfectionism… well, I’m keeping an open mind. I’m very excited about this book, and this is the first time I’m going solo with a book project rather than working with a self-publishing company. There’s so much to juggle – thank God for Google Keep!

On the subject of my book project, thank you so much to everyone who has recently subscribed to my YouTube channel! On Sunday I posted this video (both over on YouTube and here on Perfect Chaos) asking for help with reaching 100 subscribers, and I’m delighted to say many of you kindly obliged and I’m well past that target now, which is just awesome. Please do subscribe if you’d like to watch the philosophy and theology videos I’m planning to make in 2019; there will be lots of juicy content. And thank you especially to Thinking Moon who gave my channel a shout on her blog (check out the tagline on her blog, I absolutely love it).

I’m going to get another glass of water now, as I’m trying to dilute the effects of the medication. I’m not sure whether it makes any difference whatsover, but at least I’m doing something, and drinking lots of water is generally regarded as a good thing! In any case, thank you for reading this update and let me know in the comments how you’re doing. Bye for now!

Request for Support

Although I’ve been publishing my regular Friday Philosophy posts over the last couple of months, you may have noticed that I’ve been a bit quiet in general. The reason why is explained in the video below.

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Thank you for your support!