Steven Colborne's Blog, page 64

What is Success?

I think that for many of us who are ambitious and feel we are called to a particular purpose, there are times when we feel we are at the edge of our comfort zones and have to decide what to do. It seems to me that being a content creator is a kind of balancing act. On the one hand I want to pursue my dreams and ambitions by stepping outside of my comfort zone, but on the other hand I also love peace and stability, and I’m very afraid of compromising that.

Since my spells in psychiatric hospital, and my time spent in psychotherapy, I have come to deeply appreciate peace and quiet. As a teenager in a heavy metal band, the idea of fame and fortune was quite exciting, though even back then I would get terrified of attention, even to the extent I used to be nervous to the point of nearly being sick before every gig. Thinking about it, what I loved about being in a band was the creativity; the idea that I might be able to write songs that would make people feel amazing in the same way that my favourite bands made me feel amazing. I was always more comfortable in the recording studio than on stage, where I felt much more vulnerable.

These days, I am still very motivated to create, though my focus has changed somewhat. My passion nowadays is to share what I believe to be the truth about the big questions of philosophy and theology, because I believe the insights I have to offer can be liberating and enlightening for people who really understand them. I find that tremendously exciting, and it’s frankly what keeps me alive.

There is something of a paradox that accompanies my life’s missions. While I want to reach as many people as possible with my philosophy, I’m also terrified of the spotlight being shone on me. I have so many insecurities and I get anxious and panicky when I’m under even a little stress, so I’m constantly wondering how in the world I would fare if I got invited onto a popular TV show or even a popular podcast to discuss my ideas. I really, really, don’t want to do anything like that, but at the same time I know these things are important for those who want to reach more people with their work.

I absolutely hate the current obsession with “hustle” and “grind” and the idea that if you’re not a complete workaholic you’re somehow inferior and not going to “succeed”. What kind of “success” is a life of stress? Don’t these people see that the more growth they experience, the more responsibilities they will have, the more stress they will have, the less peace they will have, and the less happy they will be? And all for what? Money?! It’s insanity.

I wish there were I way I could reach lots of people with my writing and be protected against the inevitable backlash and negativity that comes with reaching a large audience. I’m quite a strong-willed person, but I’m also very sensitive, and I know that when people start watching my videos I’m going to get the atheist/scientific community attempting to “destroy” my philosophy for sport, because that’s what they do. It’s so flipping annoying and upsetting that people have so little love in their hearts that they spend their time attempting to rip people’s confidence and beliefs to shreds.

I’m saying all of this now because with my Deep Thoughts About God video series I’m being more vulnerable and open than I ever have been, and I’ve already been on the receiving end of some heartless negativity. It hasn’t yet shaken my confidence in my philosophical perspective, and I hope it never will, but it is still hugely upsetting. If any of you reading this have ever ‘put yourself out there’ (whether it be YouTube, or TV, or radio, or another medium), then feel free to offer me some love and encouragement as I need that to outweigh the negativity and stop self-doubt from creeping in.

Life is a journey, but I don’t believe that journey is necessarily about getting increasingly richer and more famous in order to meet some deluded idea of ‘success’. That’s the capitalist delusion, and despite the fact that society is bombarding me with it from all angles constantly, I’m determined not to get sucked into it. I want to reach people, yes, but I want to do so slowly and with love and care. It’s always the case that having five people in your life with whom you can share a deep and meaningful connection is better than having a million fans (and a million pounds) but no peace and joy.

I have a schedule for my YouTube project (and also a new schedule for posting to Instagram) which is simple and manageable and I’m determined that I’m not going to pursue the kind of success that will compromise my peace of mind and relationships. I will be praying above all for peace and mercy, which will forever remain infinitely more important than wealth and success.

Thank you for reading. I feel better now. Do you personally think it’s important to hustle hard and accumulate wealth, or would you rather live a simple and peaceful life? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below!

How Do I Know God Exists?

Hi friends! In today’s post I’m delighted to bring you the first video in the Deep Thoughts About God video series. There will be a new video in this series every Thursday, and each video relates closely to a chapter in my book God’s Grand Game, as you will already know if you saw last week’s post in which I shared the trailer for the series.

In this first video I provide what I believe to be good evidence for the existence of God, and I also discuss the relationship between the human brain, the human body, and God. I aim to highlight the absurdity of the popular idea that the brain is a kind of machine that powers the rest of the body.

I hope you enjoyed the video. Next Thursday I’ll be returning with the second instalment in the series, which will be a video entitled The Cosmic Animator, in which I will explore the idea that God is animating all activity in existence.

Feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel to keep up with the series, and let me know your thoughts on this first video in the comments below. God bless you, and thank you for watching!

(Quick side note — I’m quite active on Instagram at the moment so if you have an account and would like to connect, my handle is @stevencolborne. I share a lot of photos of some of the beautiful scenery in my part of London, as well as inspirational quotes from my own work and the work of renowned philosophers and theologians).

Til next time!

Deep Thoughts About God

Hi friends! As promised, I’m returning to your inbox (or web browser) with the video trailer for my new YouTube series. I hope it whets your appetite. You can expect new videos on the channel every Thursday. I will say no more and let the video do the talking!

What did you think of the video? Will you be following along with the series? Let me know in the comments whether any of the topics mentioned in the video are of particular interest to you. Thank you for watching!

My New YouTube Series

Hearty greetings from London! In today’s post, I’d like to tell you a bit about the YouTube project which I’m days away from launching, and I’d also like to invite you to connect with me on social media if we’re not already linked up.

I’ve had a few cracks at YouTube channels over the years, the most successful of which was a channel called ‘Philosophy in a Top Hat’ which I started to support the release of my first book The Philosophy of a Mad Man. It was so much fun! Having said that, I’m grateful that the videos are no longer live, because although I was always quite happy with the content, the quality of the sound and visuals was poor compared with what is commonplace these days.

Believe it or not, my recent book release — God’s Grand Game — was conceived as an accompaniment to a YouTube series I have been preparing to launch for some time. Yes, that’s right — the plan was to make videos first and foremost, and to produce a book to accompany the video series.

I was going to produce a book containing what would basically be a transcript of every video in a long series. It seems strange reflecting upon this fact now, because I’ve been so focused on the book over the last few months, and once I started writing it, it really took on a life of its own, becoming so much more than a mere accompaniment to a YouTube series (it’s actually by far the best and most complete overview of my philosophy that I’ve produced to date).

Anyhow, with the book now released, I am returning my focus to the YouTube series. There will be a close connection with the book, with each chapter in the book forming the basis of a video. The chapters in God’s Grand Game are quite concise, and so the videos will also be short and punchy. You can expect each video to be 1-5 minutes long.

The YouTube series will be titled Deep Thoughts About God.

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I assume that most of the readers of this blog have a YouTube account, and if you do, you are warmly invited to subscribe to my channel at the following URL:

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel:

https://youtube.com/c/stevencolborne

The first video in the series (which will actually be a trailer for the series) will be going live either this week or next week, depending on how many technical problems I encounter and how much of a perfectionist I decide to be

Spinoza’s View of God

Benedict de Spinoza was a 17th century Jewish-Dutch philosopher, probably most famous for his pantheistic leanings. Pantheism is the view that reality and God are one and the same. In the past I have read plenty of secondary material about Spinoza, and have for a long time been wanting to read his most famous publication, a book entitled ‘Ethics’. I downloaded the audiobook version of Ethics a few months ago but it’s been gathering virtual dust on my phone. Today I finally got around to giving it a listen.

The audiobook is over eight hours long, and I’m only a couple of hours in, so I may return to write another post about Spinoza’s philosophy in the not-too-distant future when I have a more comprehensive understanding of his thought. For today, I wanted to present a few quotes from the book that really resonated with me, and also a few quotes that I found problematic.

Let’s begin, then, with some phrases from the book that I found particularly compelling. I will present a few quotes, followed by a few brief comments. I don’t need to elaborate on every quotation as I go along, as they are fairly self-explanatory. Please forgive me for being unable to provide page references, but such is the nature of the newfangled world of audiobooks.

Spinoza’s belief that God isn’t embodied:

For all who have in anywise reflected upon the divine nature deny that God has a body. Of this, they find excellent proof in the fact that we understand by body a definite quantity — so long, so broad, so deep, bounded by a certain shape — and it is the height of absurdity to predicate such a thing of God, a being absolutely infinite.

Why God isn’t a substance:

If extended substance is infinite, let it be conceived to be divided into two parts. Each part will then be either finite or infinite. If the former, then infinite substance is composed of two finite parts, which is absurd. If the latter, then one infinite will be twice as large as another infinite, which is also absurd.

Extended substance must necessarily be finite, and consequently cannot appertain to the nature of God.

The Freedom of God:

Without God, nothing can be nor be conceived, but that all things are in God. Wherefore nothing can exist, outside Himself, whereby He can be conditioned or constrained to act. Wherefore God acts solely by the laws of His own nature and is not constrained by anyone.

God is the sole free cause, for God alone exists by the necessity of His nature.

God is not separate from existence:

God is the indwelling and not the transient cause of all things.

All is God:

Individual things are nothing but modifications of the attributes of God, or modes by which the attributes of God are expressed in a fixed and definite manner.

So far, so good! I can really relate to many of Spinoza’s statements concerning the nature of God. For many years now I have believed that God cannot be embodied, because a body would mean God is limited. I mean, think about it. Can you envisage a place where God physically exists, where there is an end to His being? It seems obvious to me that there are no boundaries in existence, and that God must therefore be boundless.

There are also some aspects of Spinoza’s philosophy that I disagree with. He seems to argue that God doesn’t have free will, and that things couldn’t exist in any way that is different to the manner in which they do exist. This is counter-intuitive to me, as I certainly believe creation could have been very different — it all depends on what God freely chooses to manifest.

Spinoza wrote,

Although it be granted that will pertains to the essence of God, it nevertheless follows from His perfection that things could not have been by Him created other than they are or in a different order.

And another statement I find difficult to agree with…

Whatsoever we conceive to be in the power of God necessarily exists.

I believe God has infinite power, but it doesn’t logically follow from this that everything within God’s power exists. I believe God could create alternate realities where different aspects of His power are displayed.

All things are predetermined by God, not through His free will or absolute fiat, but from the very nature of God or infinite power.

I disagree with the above quotation because I don’t believe everything is predetermined by God. I see God as living and acting in the eternal now, unfolding all events as He wills in this moment. It’s perfectly possible that God makes plans, but I believe He is also free to improvise and change things depending on what He wills for His creation at any given time. This view of mine seems to be quite different to that of Spinoza.

Everything in nature proceeds from a sort of necessity.

I simply disagree with this. What is it that Spinoza believes is making everything in nature necessarily proceed in the way it does? There is no such constraining force or power. God acts to bring about all events in existence, not by necessity, but by free choice.

As I continue to listen to the remainder of the audiobook, I’m looking forward to learning more about Spinoza’s conception of God, because while I can relate in many ways to his pantheism, I don’t yet feel I fully understand the way in which he views God’s relationship with the unfolding events of reality.

What are your views on pantheism and the quotations from Spinoza presented above? Feel free to leave a comment below. Thank you for reading!

Life Update | Easter 2019

Hi everyone! Firstly, a slightly belated Happy Easter to my Christian readers. I hope you enjoyed celebrating Holy Week. I am of course aware of the events in Sri Lanka which must have been deeply saddening for many of you, especially after the Notre-Dame fire incident a week ago.

My prayers are with everyone affected by these events — and actually, my prayers are with everyone who is suffering regardless of their beliefs and religious affiliations. Every human being, in my view, is living out God’s purpose for their life, and I pray for God to be gracious and merciful to all sentient beings.

In this post I’d just like to provide a brief life update so you know what’s happening in my world and how this might affect my blogging schedule in the coming weeks.

I’ve been feeling somewhat stressed over the last couple of weeks. This is mostly due to financial and health concerns. I’m not in any trouble financially, it’s just that there’s a lot to think about as I move from living off an inheritance (which is what I’ve been doing for the last few months) to claiming state benefits and potentially doing some paid work.

Being on medication for my mental health condition has been throwing up some challenges. My energy tends to be drained a lot after I have my monthly injection, and there are some quite unwelcome side-effects from the meds, including problems with my memory, restlessness, headaches, feelings of panic, etc.

I have three meetings coming up in relation to health and finances, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious about these. Fortunately, I have some amazing support from a few kind people who work in the mental health services, and this means things aren’t nearly as stressful as they could be.

In a recent post I wrote about my plans to launch a blogging schedule where I would be publishing posts five times a week. Considering what I’ve said in the preceding paragraphs, I feel this is overly ambitious right now. Perhaps once these meetings are out of the way, and I feel less stressed, there will be a time when I am able to commit to this schedule. But right now it feels like too much pressure to put on myself.

So, until these meetings have passed, and I am more clear about things financially, I will not be blogging according to my previously announced schedule, but on a less regular basis; whenever I have the time, energy, and inspiration to write.

Releasing God’s Grand Game took a significant investment of time and energy, and I’m determined to do my best to ensure as many people as possible read that book, as it feels like the most important thing I have ever worked on in my life to date. All of my blogging plans, including the YouTube videos I am wanting to make, relate to that book and the philosophical perspective contained within its pages. I will keep doing all I can to encourage others to read the book, for as long as God gives me the health and motivation to do so.

I think that’s all I need to say today. Thank you for following my blog, it really does mean the world to me. I know (because you’re a considerate bunch!) that you wouldn’t want me to be under pressure to churn out blog posts five times a week while I’m struggling with some challenging life circumstances. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

If we’re not already connected on social media, you can find me here:

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube

Have a great week, and you can always email me via the Contact page if there’s anything you’d like to chat with me directly and privately about — I love receiving emails from readers and fellow bloggers! And let me know in the comments below whether you’re enjoying beautiful summery weather in your part of the world, as we are here in London right now 

Thanks for reading!

Peace and blessings, Steven x

Prologue to my New Blogging Schedule

Hi everyone! Thanks for the feedback and encouragement in relation to my new blogging schedule. If all goes to plan, I’ll be beginning that next Monday — a week today.

I’m not sure whether I’ll be writing sponsored posts on Saturdays just yet, I might need to build up a little momentum with the other posts first (in order to show potential sponsors the kind of thing I do and how they might fit in). In the meantime, I’m just going to crack on with the rest of the schedule, especially the planning for my Thursday Theology posts, which will be the most time-consuming posts to produce because I’ll be filming a video for every post. I’ll be scripting some of those videos this week.

I thought I’d provide a little teaser today of some of the amazing music I’ll be sharing in my Monday Music posts. Music is a bit of an obsession for me — different styles, different genres; basically anything with a good energy that moves me, I love! And since I invested in a set of AirPods a few weeks ago, I’ve been dancing around my flat like a silly person, and it’s been so much fun. I am entitled to a six-month free Apple Music subscription with my current phone contract, and I’m so delighted to have finally activated it as I’ve really been missing out!

One song that I’ve had on repeat is this really beautiful and mellow piece of ‘chillhop’ (lofi hip hop). It’s an instrumental song, and I believe the musicians are from the Netherlands, but after scouring the web I wasn’t able to find out much more about them. I love discovering these wonderful gems of songs that are sadly in relative obscurity — and sharing them!

Have a listen to this little slice of genius and let me know what you think in the comments

My Slightly Crazy Blogging Plans

Hi, friends! In this post I’d like to briefly explain my plans for Perfect Chaos moving forward, as well as request your feedback on those plans. As you will see if you read on, the changes I’m proposing are fairly major, and I would love for as many of you as possible to get behind me as I make the transition into a new schedule, for without you, I am nothing! (he says with both truth and melodrama!).

An Overview of my Plans

With the blog tour now finished, and now that my new book has been released into the wild and all the hard work of researching, writing, editing, etc, is over, it’s time to move forward and embark upon a new blogging adventure. Well, I say new, but some of my plans involve a return to the kind of schedule I was employing for a few months last year.

Looking over my stats (which I don’t do religiously, but it can be quite interesting to reflect upon these things from time to time!) I noticed that the best period for my blog in terms of traffic and engagement was when I was blogging four times a week to a set schedule last year. I also had some feedback from some of you recently that you missed me blogging to that schedule (and I miss that schedule too!). So, to take the words of a sermon title from inspirational pastor T. D. Jakes completely out of context, you are going to get it back again!

But wait, there’s more! I’m going to be introducing a new kind of post, and it’s something I’m a little anxious about. I haven’t been earning an income over the last few months, partly because I inherited a little money after my dear grandmother passed away, which enabled me to pay my rent and living expenses while dedicating a lot of time to doing the single most important thing I’ve ever done — writing and releasing God’s Grand Game.

My funds are drying up now and it’s unlikely, in the short-term at least (and I won’t even speculate about the long-term), that I’ll be earning a wage from book sales. I have a mental health condition, which entitles me to some financial support from the government, but to the extent that I am able to do so I would like to work — especially if that work involves doing what I love (which as you may be aware is everything related to writing, philosophy, theology, and music).

With all of the above in mind, I’ve hatched a plan! The idea is that (in a creative way that in no way compromises the quality of my content) I will be able to make a little money from blogging in order to supplement the funds I receive from the government for my mental health condition. Read on to discover how I intend to do that…

My New Schedule

Monday Music

A short post introducing a piece of music to inspire, move, and excite readers of the blog at the start of the week.

Thursday Theology

A reflection on a topic linked to theology, accompanied by a video I have freshly filmed and edited. Examples of topics to be covered include free will, morality, suffering, the nature of God, and interfaith dialogue.

Friday Philosophy

Every Friday I will present a snapshot of a different philosopher from history and offer a concise reflection on something meaningful and interesting that they have contributed to the history of ideas.

Saturday Sponsor

Every Saturday I will publish a sponsored feature, which might be a guest post, a post I have written on behalf of a sponsor, or some other kind of collaboration with a reputable and relevant partner.

Sunday Summary

I will present a brief recap of my week in blogging, along with a few personal reflections on my life at this time and a ‘Question of the Week’ to engage with readers in a fun way.

Some Closing Thoughts

Let me just say that if God gives me the energy I need in order to pull it off I think this is going to be an amazing new chapter in the life of Perfect Chaos! I’m really excited. There will be more quality content focused on philosophy and theology than ever before (there will have to be if I’m going to attract anyone to sponsor a post!) and posting a video once a week is going to be tiring, but a lot of fun!

I’m very scared, but also excited to see whether, with your support, I can make this schedule work. And trust me, it will need your support. And I don’t expect that support in return for nothing, I’m going to give this new schedule 100%, as I always try to do, in everything I do *sheds a brief tear!*

Thank you for reading! What are your thoughts on the new schedule? Feel free to leave your feedback in the comments below, even if you think I’ve lost the plot entirely

Blog Tour (Day 10): Think and Explore

Hi, friends! I hope you are well rested after the weekend. Today I’m sharing the final instalment in the God’s Grand Game blog tour. Today’s piece comes courtesy of Mani Ratman, who has written a beautifully constructed and deeply reflective piece about the book on his blog Think and Explore. It’s a great way to end the blog tour!

Read Mani’s review of God’s Grand Game on Think and Explore

If you enjoy Mani’s style, please subscribe to his blog. Also, he has a fantastic Instagram page where he regularly shares drawings that are truly unique and very creative. You can find him on Instagram here.

With the blog tour now over, I just want to thank everyone who has contributed, both those who wrote the articles and those who read them. Throughout the blog tour I’ve been delighted, upset, challenged, and inspired, and I’m so glad to have gone through this process! Every single blogger delivered on time and that means the world to me, so thanks again people!

Here’s a recap of all the posts from the last couple of weeks:

1) David Robertson of ‘A Perennial Follower’ article

2) David Wilson of ‘Madman’s Lantern’ review

3) Christopher Schallert of ‘Gestaltic Ocean interview

4) Lily Pierce of ‘Retrospective Lily’ interview

5) Faith Okpoyo of ‘Faith’s Pen’ review

6) Jenni Lynch of ‘Thinking Moon’ review

7) Logan Noland of ‘Pilgrimage to Somewhere’ review

8) Ashley Tanner of ‘Yellow Poppies’ interview

9) Virginia Carper of ‘Neptune’s Dolphins’ review

10) Mani Ratman of ‘Think and Explore’ review

This has been a wonderful journey for me and I hope you have enjoyed the posts as well. If you’re not interested in the book after reading all these posts, then I guess there’s no persuading you to buy a copy!

Blog Tour (Day 9): Neptune’s Dolphins

Greetings, all! Today is the penultimate day of the God’s Grand Game blog tour. There will be no post over the weekend, but I’ll return for one final post on Monday, when I’ll be sharing a review of my book by Mani Ratman of the Think and Explore blog. Mani is a truly amazing artist and also reviews science, history, philosophy, and psychology books on his blog. I can’t wait to read his thoughts on God’s Grand Game. Stay tuned!

Thank you for sticking with me on this blog tour, I realise there have been a lot of posts!

Today’s post is something very different. Virginia Carper describes herself as a Roman polytheist. She became interested in these beliefs after suffering a traumatic brain injury, and you can read her story on the About Me page of her blog. As she rejects monotheism, she has written a fairly critical review of God’s Grand Game, because my book argues strongly in favour of monotheism. There is actually a chapter in the book on polytheism, which I reject, believing as I do that the beliefs of polytheists like Virginia are actually under the control of the Cosmic Animator — the one true God who is in control of all things (which is the kind of divinity I believe in and argue for in my book).

Anyway, I’d like to thank Virginia for reading the book and for her thoughtful review, which you can read via the following link:

Read Virginia’s review of God’s Grand Game on Neptune’s Dolphins

What did you think of Virginia’s review? Feel free to leave a comment below, or over on Virginia’s blog, and if you can relate to Virginia’s perspective and enjoy her writing, I’m sure she’d welcome you as a subscriber to her blog.

That’s all for today! If you have some leisure time over the weekend and haven’t yet picked up a copy of my book, it’s available via Amazon Prime (paperback and hardcover) and also for Kindle, Kobo, Apple, and all popular eReaders. Click the link below for all the details:

Buy God’s Grand Game

What are your plans for the weekend? I’ll be trying to motivate myself to do some exercise (probably a long walk whilst listening to a podcast), and will be relaxing with my cat (I wish! I’m not allowed pets under my tenancy