Kathy Collard Miller's Blog, page 9
October 24, 2022
My “So Called” Eulogy
First of all, let me clarify I’m not dying. I’m healthy and doing great. I do not need a eulogy now.
I began thinking about my eulogy as I was recently studying Acts 13. I realized I would like my memorial service to refer to Acts 13. I think it would make for a great eulogy and also share the Gospel of Jesus’ death and resurrection. So maybe someone will remember to refer to Acts 13 when God calls me home, after a few more decades, I hope.
In Acts 13:16-39, the Apostle Paul is relating how even though God was working throughout the Israelite history, the Promised Messiah didn’t appear. He gives many examples:
Verses 16-19: God worked through the Israelites pulling them out of Egypt and directing them to their Promised Land–but the Promised Messiah didn’t appear.
Verse 20: God gave the Israelites judges but the Judge Jesus who is the Messiah wasn’t one of them.
Verses 21-22: The people asked for a king and God provided Saul, David and many others. But The King Jesus, the Messiah, wasn’t one of them.
Verses 24-25: John the Baptist arrived on the scene and many thought, “This is him!” But no. Even “As John was completing his work, he said…” …basically, I’m not the Messiah but I know who He is!
Verses 26: Paul says, finally, “it is to us that this message of salvation has been sent.” He continues giving the credentials indicating Jesus is The One, The Expected One. Paul summarizes what happened, how Jesus was executed and everything God had predicted occurred. He was raised from the dead and then many saw him in his resurrected state.
verse 32: “We tell you the good news: What God promised our ancestors he has fulfilled for us, their children, by raising up Jesus.”
Verse 34: “God raised him from the dead so that he will never be subject to decay.”
And in verses 36, we find the fabulous foundation for any eulogy:
“Now when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his ancestors and his body decayed. But the one whom God raised from the dead did not see decay.“
When you and I “fall asleep”, when we die, may we know we served God’s purposes in our own generation.
That is my prayer, plea, and purpose. To complete the work God intended for me–in my own generation.And the primary purpose of my life is what Paul declared in verses 38-39: “Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses.”
As I studied Acts 13, it became so clear that Paul was saying, “Think this person is the One? Nope. Think this event will reveal The One? Nope. All these people and events were preparation for the greatest and grandest appearance of Jesus, the predicted Messiah, Savior, King, Prophet, and Fulfillment.
What do you want said about you at your memorial service? I want someone to say, “Kathy served God’s purposes in her own generation.'” TWEET THAT!!!!!After God saved me in 1967, I had no clue as to God’s plan, but Ephesians 2:10 became very important to me:
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Doesn’t that thrill you? I hope it thrills you like it does me. The events and people Paul preached about are remembered. I don’t suppose I’ll be remembered for long. But I trust that the fruit of God’s work through me will endure for His glory.
Let me hear how you would like to be eulogized. So there’s my “so called” eulogy–although I do hope it’s not needed too soon. But if it’s soon, will you come to hear it?
October 2, 2022
Book Drawing! Pam Farrel’s Bible Study, Devotional & Coloring Pages on Book of John
I’m a big fan of Pam Farrel, Jean E. Jones, and Karla Dornacher’s series of books which are a “creative devotional study experience.” This one on the book of John contains the same delightful aspects as the other books: insights, applications, devotions, and creative coloring pages.Read below how you can enter to win the drawing with several winners!Whether you’re a new or longtime believer, you’ll gain a wealth of wisdom when you study the Gospels! In Discovering Good News in John, authors Pam Farrel, Jean E. Jones, and Karla Dornacher encourage you to revisit the story of Jesus’ life—and be transformed along the way.
You’ll be uplifted by:
fresh insights into the incredible book of Johnenlightening contexts, including the culture, celebrations and community of Jesus’ eranew applications from the Good News for your daily lifemotivating devotions followed by affirmational prayerscreative coloring pages featuring hope-filled, worship-inspiring Bible versesImmerse your heart, mind, and soul in the life-giving truths of this Gospel! This new installment in the Discovering the Bible series will give you brand-new eyes that let you savor and cherish each detail John reveals about Jesus’ time on earth.
Here’s a sample of the artwork available included in the book.
Pam’s devotionals highlight the names of Christ in the book of John. Here’s a quick excerpt with some bible study tips from Pam’s devotional: Jesus is the Way, Truth and Life:Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6 NIV)
The WayJesus states he is the path or road, and journey to the presence of the Father in Heaven. The good news is Jesus wants us to know the way of God even more than we want to know the will of God. When people ask, “How do I know God’s will?” I usually point them to 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman, because of a decision- making skill I like to call The Happiness Decision Cycle which is reflective of Jesus as the Way: “Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” (John 14:21 NIV) God shows His love by revealing more of who He is, and we show our love with obedience that draws us closer to the heartbeat God, where it is easier to discern His will.
The TruthJesus is not merely truth based on opinion, sincerity, emotion, ideas, polls, or presentations. Jesus is truth based on fact. God, the Creator, is the litmus test and plumb line of Truth. You can value Truth by layering the Word into your life:
Listen: Take in the Word through the audio bible, media and podcasts, internet bible videos, worship music and by recording yourself reading the Bible.Look: Read the Bible, create and read verses and memes, read Christian books, commentaries, bible studies, blogs, etc.,Link: When we take the Word, perhaps enjoy Bible art, and create art, clothing, or practical items, Truth is kept before us.Lavish: I give out the Word in speaking, sharing in live and virtual conversations and when I give through gifts to others in Christ’s name.Live it!: Obedience to Jesus is a powerful tool for good news in the plans of God. Often God tells His Story using our life as the illustration. The LifeWe can choose to RISE rather than RETREAT when tough times hit. We have LIFE in us! Zóé, Greek for life is “All life (physical and spiritual), throughout the universe, is derived… it always (only) comes from and is sustained by God’s self-existent life.”
This life links back to Gen 2:7, “…the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life…” The same God who breathed life into humankind, is the Christ who is the bread of LIFE, who is the light of LIFE, the resurrection, and the LIFE, who gives eternal LIFE and the abundant LIFE. Pray and ask Jesus to breathe LIFE into you and your circumstances today.
Don’t you want to be one of the winners of this fabulous book? You can enter by making a comment on my blog post before Monday, October 10, 2022 at: CLICK HERE (only US addresses may win)Thank you, Pam, for those wonderful insights.
Pam Farrel is an international speaker, author of 58 books including her newest Discovering Good News In John: A Creative Bible Study Devotional Experience (co-authored with Jean E Jones, bible teacher and author of 4 award-winning Discover the Bible series and Karla Dornacher, seasoned author, and beloved bible and faith artist and Esty artist ) Pam and her husband Bill Co-Direct Love-Wise ministry where they encourage, enrich and inspire people in their most vital relationships. Pam enjoys kayaking, especially with her family, from her liveaboard boat docked in Southern California (www.Love-Wise.com)
September 29, 2022
Oct. 1st, 2022: I’m Celebrating 55 Years of Being a Christian
In a few days, I’ll be celebrating 55 years of following Christ. On October 1st, 1967, I received Christ as my Lord and Savior. I had no idea what the future held, but I’ve never regretted putting my life into the hands of such a wonderful Savior and great God. Not only did I have my sins forgiven, I began a life of adventure.
But in those early days of learning about the Christian life, I believed some lies that I didn’t even know were a part of my thinking and expectations. So this year, I again want to share those lies. Maybe you will identify what you’ve believed (or are believing).
In the beginning, I had some wrong ideas about the Christian life, like: I’ll become perfect, I’ll figure out God, and the Bible will become boring. TWEET THAT!!!!! LIE #1: I’ll become perfect.I thought I’d become a Christian so that God could make me instantly perfect. But then I learned Philippians 1:6: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (NIV). That let me know that I would always be in a process of growth.
LIE #2: I’ll figure out God.It seemed like learning God’s attributes and reading about Him in the Bible would enable me to know how and why He did things. The Bible said God answers prayers and is dependable. Therefore, if I ask, God will answer.
Then came a short term missionary trip to Jamaica. One evening I needed to decide where our witnessing team would work the next day. I prayed and sensed God’s leading clearly. What a thrill!
But the next day it rained such a torrent that even the locals weren’t out and about. I was discouraged. Could I ever trust that I could know God’s voice?
There have been many situations like that, and also, times when it turned out well. I learned I might not always know God’s will perfectly but I could trust God knew what He was doing, even when I didn’t.
LIE #3: The Bible will become boring.“After all, you can only read a book so many times,” I thought.
Many years ago I was furious at a Christian company which reneged on giving a refund. I tried to surrender knowing it was God’s money to do with as He pleased, yet I slipped back into old patterns of wanting revenge and our money back!
One day I surrendered again, crying out to God by writing in my journal, “Father God, this is not hidden from Your sight and neither are Your eyes closed and uncaring. Thank you, Lord, that I can surrender all my cares to You—and the money.”
I suddenly felt directed by the Holy Spirit to look at Jeremiah 17. At the top of that page a verse jumped out at me: “My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from my eyes” (Jeremiah 16:17, NIV).
I was shocked. That verse confirmed the very thing I had written in my journal just moments before. I realized that the Word of God applied by the Spirit of God gives all Christians an entire lifetime of finding the Bible relevant for every situation and challenge.
Of course, these three lessons are only a few of many. I trust that there will be many more lessons ahead.I would love to hear about lies that have been corrected over the time you have known Christ. Feel free to include how long you’ve known the Lord (if you can identify the time your commitment started).
August 1, 2022
Danger! You May Be Using Absolute Words More than You Realize
Danger! You May Be Using Absolute Words More Than You RealizeHave you ever said things like:
I’ll never get angry againI’ll always show love toward that person who is unlovableI’ll never be discontent againI’ll always be joyful in every circumstanceI’ll have my devotions every day for an hourWhat becomes even more dangerous is when we don’t realize we are thinking in absolute terms because we aren’t actually using “all of nothing” words, like “always, never, all the time, all.”
For instance. When I was seriously unhappy with Larry many years ago (yes, I actually did sincerely pray God would cause the plane he was flying to crash!), my thoughts were, “Larry doesn’t help at home.” I didn’t realize what my heart was actually believing was, “Larry never helps at home.” Was that true? No. My “absolute thinking” fed my evidence for justifying being hateful, angry, discontented, and disobedient to God.
Without identifying it early on, it was easy to think that such blaming would bring happiness to our marriage. I would change him by expecting perfection. Crazy, eh? TWEET THAT!!!!!This kind of absolute thinking–all or nothing thinking and talking–seemed to help me ignore my imperfections. It was all Larry’s fault and “when he shapes up and does the right thing, I can be the wife God wants me to be.” And of course, I expected Larry to fulfill my expectations perfectly.
I did not have God’s perspective as I was expecting perfection from others when I excused my own imperfections.
We may think that God demands such “absolute” commitments. But have you noticed that when we can’t follow through, we get discouraged and give up? Or when others fail us, we are angry, ungracious, unforgiving and even mean-spirited? We believe God has given up on us also and has lost hope for changing our imperfect relationships and lives.
The good news is that God is more patient than we think. And His patience allows us to grow in our sanctification “little by little.” He’s not impatient with us when it takes us time to overcome our struggles. And He wants to empower us to have the same realistic expectations and grace for others.
I Timothy 4:15 tells us that. It says, “Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all.” Vine’s Dictionary says the word Greek word “progress” is the idea of a pioneer cutting his way through the brushwood.
How does the pioneer do that? Little by little. He doesn’t have a mile-wide ax to cut down a swath big enough for building his house in a day. Instead, he takes one step and takes one chop in the brushwood with his ax. He progresses one step and chop at a time.
That’s the kind of “progress” the Apostle Paul is encouraging Timothy to have. Step by step. Chop by chop. Little by little.One of the principles I write about and speak about to give the biblical perspective of this is what I call “The 1% Principle.” Instead of expecting or trying to make plans for 100% perfection or have absolute expectations of others, we make small goals—like 1% growth.
So let’s apply that to the goals we wanted to make above.I’ll never get angry again becomes I’ll concentrate on the time of day I often get angry and make changes that will support patience.I’ll always show love toward that person who is unlovable becomes I’ll find one thing I actually like about them.I’ll never be discontent again becomes I’ll find one thing to be satisfied about right now.I’ll always be joyful in every circumstance becomes I’ll find one thing to appreciate right now.I’ll have my devotions every day becomes I’ll have my devotions three times this week.And in our relationships with others, we need to notice and give credit to the small progress God is making in others.Such thinking in the power of the Holy Spirit enables us to make more progress because we’ll be persistent rather than get discouraged and give up.
As God was dealing with me about my perfectionistic, all or nothing thinking, I began making progress and appreciating Larry’s efforts. One evening I returned from a speaking engagement and Larry grinned as he led me into the kitchen. When I’d left, the kitchen was a mess but now the dishes were all cleaned up and Larry could not have been more proud. As I thanked him and gave him a big hug, I looked over his shoulder and noticed the counter had not been wiped off.
Now everyone knows you aren’t technically finished doing “all” the dishes until the counter is wiped off. Right?
As I was about to point out the obvious, I remembered God leading me to be grateful for even 1% progress. And what Larry had done was way more than 1%!
Instead of pointing out what he hadn’t done, I thanked him again for the great job he had done.
The following evening I returned from another speaking engagement and guess what? Larry had cleaned up the dishes again.
Here’s my question: would Larry have done the dishes the second night if I’d complained about what he hadn’t done the first night?
Most likely not!!
Reaching a 1% goal encourages us and empowers us to continue trusting in God for the progress He desires. And we’ll give Him the glory for the progress we’re making rather than pour contempt on ourselves because we haven’t reached perfection. We can also be grateful for what others are doing–to whatever degree they can.
What 1% goal does God want you to make? I believe you’ll make greater progress that way than forming unrealistic expectations.
Just remember that pioneer’s ax when you think of concentrating on the imperfections of yourself and others. Pay attention to both the words and the attitudes behind your words that feed using words like “all, never, all the time, and always.” Maybe you can even think of other “absolute” words you are using or “all or nothing” attitudes you have.
What 1% goal can you work on this week?
If you’d like to learn more about this topic, check out my book, “Pure Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory.”
July 29, 2022
This Brought Tears to My Eyes
by Patricia Durginyourpartner@eabookspublishing.comIn 1945, Dorothy McGuire and Robert Young starred in a movie about a disfigured war veteran and a homely young lady.Oliver and Laura were their characters’ names. They had an unlikely meeting when Oliver and his fiancée visited the cottage where Laura was a maid. The cottage was to be the couple’s honeymoon destination. But World War II broke out before they could be married.During his service, Oliver was injured; his face horribly damaged. His fiancée left him, so he returned to the cottage to recuperate from his wounds. In time, he and Laura fell in love and were married.Shortly after their marriage, they discovered something wonderful. Oliver was no longer disfigured, Laura no longer homely. Each was a perfect specimen of their gender–still themselves–but handsome and beautiful.Overjoyed, they shared this miracle with their blind neighbor who was there the day Oliver’s mother and stepfather came to visit. It was then revealed that indeed, this couple, so in love, was still defective and plain.How could it be? Each time the camera panned to Laura as Oliver spoke to her, she was radiant, her hair styled and make-up glowing. Then, when anyone else spoke to her, she was shown as her former frumpy self, complete with a dowdy hairdo and no make-up.The same thing occurred when Laura glanced at Oliver. Instead of a tragically distorted face, she saw him as he’d looked the first day they met, handsome and strapping. But when anyone else in the room addressed him, the camera showed him to be fully scarred.What was the catch?They credited the cottage. It had been used exclusively by honeymooners for hundreds of years. Laura and Oliver felt that the love of those collective couples through the centuries had miraculously caused their change.“Isn’t this the secret of the cottage?” they asked the landlady, who had stayed there on her honeymoon twenty-five years earlier.“No,” she answered, “You’ve fallen in love. A man and a woman in love have a gift of sight that isn’t granted to other people. Keep your love burning and I promise you, you’ll never be anything to one another but fair and handsome.“That’s the charm. That’s the secret to the only enchantment the cottage holds, and it’s of your own making.”
The title of the movie is The Enchanted Cottage.
This is how Christ sees you. Others see your wrinkles and paunch if you have them. 🙂 Perhaps you move slower than you used to, or your hair isn’t naturally dark brown or pale blonde anymore. No matter.
Christ sees you as only a beloved can. Winsome and lovely, or handsome and dashing.
You are the treasure for whom He died. He cannot view you through any other lens.The love the characters in this movie have for each other creates a new reality; something that others cannot see, yet it’s absolutely real to them. Do you need a new reality? A fresh start? Invite the members of the Trinity to speak to you and then listen for the voice of the Father, the Son, or the Holy Spirit, for they are the lovers of your soul. There is no fairy tale life on this earth. But their holy, perfect love can, at times, make this world seem enchanted.They may be the only ones who see you as you really are, but then, they are enough, yes?Thanks for joining me on this journey.–PatriciaGuest post written by Patricia Durgin, Founder of Marketers On A Mission (https://marketersonamission.com/) originally published in EABooks Publishing newsletter (https://www.eabookspublishing.com/).
July 7, 2022
Why Are We Fearing Mere Mortals? Isaiah 51:12-13
Why Do We Fear Mere Mortals?In some ways, I’m still tempted by my “fear of man.” I’m fearing people who are mere mortals!In a common phrase, it’s called People Pleasing. Although God is continuing a remarkable healing of my tendency to want to please people, I can be tempted at times.I wonder…Did I say the right thing?Did I offend her?What does she think of me now?Will I be gossiped about?All these things are basically thinking a person has more power over me than God!
Recently, I came across two verses in Isaiah which have empowered me to trust God more in the area of People Pleasing. TWEET THAT!!!!!
Isaiah 51:12-13:“I, even I, am he who comforts you.As I’ve meditated on these two verses, I thought of writing out what they mean to me in a way that speaks the most to me:
Who are you that you fear mere mortals,
human beings who are but grass,
that you forget the Lord your Maker,
who stretches out the heavens
and who lays the foundations of the earth,
that you live in constant terror every day
because of the wrath of the oppressor,
who is bent on destruction?
For where is the wrath of the oppressor?
I, God, am the one who can provide what you need and know you perfectly from the inside out.Therefore, why do you fear what other people think of you when they don’t know your motives?Those people are mere mortals who have limited knowledge and power.I’m the only one who has all knowledge and power. If I have the ability to create everything there is, then certainly, I have the power to understand you and keep you from harm.I call you my child which means you don’t have to be subject to the opinions of others. My opinion of you is how valuable and important you are to me.And think of it… what you fear others will do to you actually rarely happens.Or even if what you fear happens, it doesn’t destroy you!I will protect you and even if what you fear happens, then I will bring good from it for you.I promise!I’d love to hear if these two verses are meaningful to you. Let’s commit to not allowing mere mortals to create fear and ungodly reactions.
(If you’d like to learn more about fighting People Pleasing tendencies, my book Pure-Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory covers this topic.)
June 27, 2022
Book Drawing!!!! Win 55 Different Books & 1 E-Reader
I’m so excited to be a part of a fantastic BookSweeps drawing that includes fiction and non-fiction inspirational books.
My women’s Bible study, Heart of Courage, is included but you’ll also find a collection of novels, Christian living, Bible studies, memoirs, and children’s books.
And you could win 55 books! Amazing! (There is no cost to enter the drawing!)A sample of the authors and books included:Janis Jakes: The Bounty Hunter’s BrideSuzanne Woods Fisher: A Season on the WindMichelle S. Lazurek: I Surrender All (Sort Of)Mary Demuth: Stop Living SmallAva Pennington: Reflections on the Names of GodDeborah Perdue: Daily Gratitude ReflectionsScott LaPierre: Enduring Trials God’s WayAmanda Cox: The Secret Keepers of Old Depot GroceryJessica Hottle: Face Off with Your FeelingsDena Dyer & Tina Samples: Wounded Women of the BibleMarilyn Turk: The Gilded CurseLee Tobin McClain: Finding a Christmas HomeLa Fonceur: Eat to Prevent and Control Disease Cookbookand many more!!Ready to enter? CLICK HERE! Drawing ends July 6th, 2022.June 10, 2022
I Wouldn’t Want to Be Married to Me!
Although my husband Larry isn’t perfect (I had to get that in), he is a better spouse than I am.
I become angry easilymy tone can be sarcasticI hold grudgesI look for ways to be offendedI have a hard time giving him credit for the ways he loves meand …. Oh boy, I think I’m gonna stop.I’m sure you want to comfort me right now and assure me I’m not that bad. No need, I don’t feel that bad! God has done a great work in my life and I know I’m so much better than I used to be. Larry and I will celebrate our 52nd anniversary this month and God has done impressive things in our transformations. We are both shocked and thrilled in the work God has done–to His praise and glory.
The best way to do that is to evaluate ourselves based on the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23):
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
So here’s the challenge. As you go through the descriptions of the ways we might not be living out each of these “fruit,” determine with a number between 1-5 for each one how you’re doing within your marriage and/or within life. If for instance, you read the characteristics of the “opposite” of loving (apathy, hate, people pleasing, not wanting best for another, etc), to what degree are you not loving? If you strongly relate to the unloving descriptions, choose 1-3. If you resist responding in those unloving ways, give yourself a 4 or 5. We’re not talking “all or nothing” here. This is on a scale. Don’t be too hard on yourself either. None of us are totally good or bad.
Instead of being loving, we’re apathetic, maybe even hateful. We rescue, people please, and basically don’t want the best for the other person. We might even punish through withdrawal.
Instead of being joyful, we’re unhappy, discontented, disgruntled and ungrateful.
Instead of being peaceful, we’re unsettled, worried and tense.
Instead of being patient, we’re frustrated and have unrealistic expectations.
Instead of being kind, we’re mean-spirited and critical, unsympathetic and lacking in compassion. Our actions are rough and disrespectful of a person’s dignity.
Instead of being good, we’re selfish and self-centered, demanding our own way.
Instead of being gentle, we’re harsh and disregard the emotions and needs of others.
Instead of being faithful, we’re dishonest, disloyal and undependable.
Instead of having self control, we are reckless, out of control, and held in bondage by anything that seems to make our life better.
After adding up your scores, you’ll realize the highest scores are the best. How do you feel about your score?
Then pick from one of the lowest categories (unloving? impatient?) and for the next week, notice when you respond most often in that ungodly way. Try to think through why that ungodly reaction occurred. Are there similar circumstances between those situations? Does the situation remind you of any childhood experience? What did you fear when that growing-up “wound” occurred?(Many of these thoughts are from Larry and my book Never Ever Be the Same. If you want more help evaluating how your past impacts your current responses, you’ll find help in that.)
Finally, take whatever God reveals from your evaluations and ask Him to help you concentrate for the next week to surrender to His Lordship in that area of your life. Although I hope you never want to be married to yourself, (believe me, you’ll never be that holy), I trust this little spiritual exercise will make your spouse more grateful he or she is married to you!June 2, 2022
Book Drawing: “Natty’s Pond”; A Memoir by Jenny Foster
Although Jenny’s memoir is a sensitive one, it is one we must be more aware of. There’s a battle going on over abortion and Jenny Foster has the courage to tell her story to give hope and help.
I’m featuring this important book in my monthly book drawing. Read below how you can enter to win!
Natty’s Pond is a true story of surviving a second trimester abortion of a wanted pregnancy that was deemed “medically advisable” due to poor fetal prognosis. The consequences of this decision were unexpected, grave, and altered the course of the author’s life and health for twenty years. This tender, vulnerable and honest story poignantly illustrates the life-altering post-abortive symptoms which can protract the grief process. This memoir offers hope for the silent sufferers and bridges important gaps between those who have endured abortion and those who can only imagine.
Here is an excerpt from Jenny’s book.“God Forgive Me”by Jenny FosterMy heart beat wildly out of control as I saw fragments of my wee baby on the screen where I had last seen him dancing just a few months before. She began to make her exit strategy from the room after referring to my baby as “calcified parts,” and she seemed to sense that her technical term had put her in deeper waters than her job description permitted. It was another blow, and I was sickened by the spiritual aspect of our baby not being retrieved “whole,” of his body being further desecrated by having to be removed in two attempts. The ashes in my urn were not complete, and I knew they’d think me crazy if I asked for the rest. I steeled myself with the thought that I couldn’t be the only woman to endure this complication. Dr. Parr’s words the day of the amnio echoed in my head: “If we wait another week, I’ll be getting out of my comfort zone.”
My occasional arrhythmia had my heart pounding so hard I thought I might pass out. I wanted so much to confront Dr. Parr and scream at him. How could he have done this to me? Why hadn’t he been more aggressive in diagnosing the post-surgical pain? He became the enemy, the one onto whom I could safely pin some of my rage, as I struggled not to rage against God, Ben, or myself.
“I’m going to get our nurse who is good at explaining these things and can sit with you for a minute.” She stood up slowly, using her hands to press against the top of her thighs.
These things? These things actually happen enough to have a person who’s good at explaining them? I quietly wondered in my sarcastic inner voice.“I wish I had the right thing to say, other than that you will feel better, and this will get better. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss, Jenny.” She backed out of the dark room, turning up the lights on the dimmer switch, as if that might shock me back into composure—back to the face of a normal person, the polite person I always was.
I jerked my green stretchy pants down off the wall hook so hard that my underwear fell to the floor. I didn’t care about them getting dirty. I didn’t care about anything. I was pulling up my pants and gingerly trying to sit down sideways to put on my socks when the nurse to whom I’d been pawned off came in with my chart and a hand-held Palm Pilot fitted with a black rubber cover like a walkie-talkie. I knew why she was here. Her mission was scheduling.
“Hi, Mrs. Harper. Dr. Helsik sent me in to help you schedule your procedure in our next available time slot. Our obstetrical surgeries are done on Fridays.”
“I know.” I’d rarely answered anyone without including the words I’m sorry or thank you, but all I cared about was blowing my nose and collecting my purse and jacket so I could leave this place.
“How about we do this? I’ll put you on the surgical schedule for next Friday with Dr. Parr, and then you talk to your husband and call Dr. Parr in the morning to make a plan of care.”
“Okay. Thank you.” I answered, barely hearing myself.
She handed me a blue folder with gold foil lettering, the same kind I received congratulating me on my pregnancy, with information about the hospital’s birthing center, NICU, and maternal nutritional support resources. This time the blue folder was nearly empty, and she showed me the scheduling paper and pre-op instructions inside it.
“Yep. Got it. Thanks.”
I paused to let her leave so I could be alone again in the room. I felt numb.I’d been in a room exactly like this in May when they’d told us we should end our baby’s life. It’s the compassionate choice, they had said. I’d spent much of my life in and out of medical centers, and for the first time I felt entitled to break the unspoken rules. I walked over to the ultrasound equipment that had been the bearer of the worst news of my life now twice. They’re my medical records anyway, I thought as I listened carefully for noise in the hallway in the hopes I wouldn’t be caught, and I pressed the red button on the computer monitor and paused as it changed to green.
Why are you doing this? I heard my mom whisper in my head. Don’t torture yourself.
But I had to see it, to see what was left of him. He was mine. He was not meant for medical waste. I familiarized myself with the little pile of forgotten bones. I pressed my hand against the monitor over the cause of my ongoing pain and unresolved grief, now lit up in silence before me without any words needed from a medical provider.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, little one.” The tears ran freely down my face, and I felt utterly alone in the world. “God forgive me.”Thank you, Jenny, for graciously sharing your difficult story with us.
To enter the drawing to win a copy of “Natty’s Pond“, comment on this blog post. Only USA addresses can win. The drawing will close on Wednesday evening, June 8, 2022.
In Jenny Foster’s twenty-four-year career in human resources and corporate employee benefits she most enjoyed being a field educator who educated and energized her audience. She presented nationally and achieved top speaker ratings. She has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from the University of California, Davis, and considers herself a lifetime learner. Jenny held dual insurance licenses as well as a professional designation as a Certified Insurance Counselor (CIC) for fourteen years.
After coauthoring her first technical book in 2018, Jenny published a memoir released in 2021, entitled Natty’s Pond. She is passionate about writing with the primary aim of helping people move from “adversity to inspiration.” After a lifetime lived in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, Jenny now lives in Houston, Texas with her husband and their beloved Frenchie Pug.
Connect with Jenny at her website
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May 25, 2022
Secrets of Why the Queen of Sheba Is In the Bible
You most likely know the story about the Queen of Sheba, a ruler who traveled a long way to learn about herself and life from Solomon’s wisdom. But have you ever pondered over why God included her story in His Sacred Word? Let’s delve into that. We will find some fascinating ideas.
Let’s begin with a quick summary from a few significant verses from I Kings 10:verse 1: Now when the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon concerning the name of the Lord, she came to test him with hard questions.
verse 3: Solomon answered all her questions; there was nothing hidden from the king that he could not explain to her.
verses 4, 6: And when the queen of Sheba had seen all the wisdom of Solomon, …she said to the king, “The report was true that I heard in my own land of your words and of your wisdom,
verse 7: but I did not believe the reports until I came and my own eyes had seen it. And behold, the half was not told me. Your wisdom and prosperity surpass the report that I heard.
verse 9: Blessed be the Lord your God, who has delighted in you and set you on the throne of Israel! Because the Lord loved Israel forever, he has made you king, that you may execute justice and righteousness.”
verse 13: And King Solomon gave to the queen of Sheba all that she desired, whatever she asked besides what was given her by the bounty of King Solomon. So she turned and went back to her own land with her servants.
Did you know there are some disagreements among historians and theologians about the location of the land/country of Sheba?Another area with a similar spelling, Seba, has been offered as the actual kingdom of the queen. In fact, Psalm 72:10 mentions both, “May the kings of Tarshish and of the coastlands render him tribute; may the kings of Sheba and Seba bring gifts!” But most experts believe Sheba was in Arabia, the western part of Asia, where Yemen is today. If so, the Queen and her vast retinue traveled about 1,200 miles to reach Jerusalem. But the location of Sheba isn’t the most important aspect of this account.
The essential element of the story about the Queen of Sheba is the message God wants to communicate through this story.Remember, God is leading all the writers of the Bible to include certain stories and messages. There are endless other events available to be featured. God always has a specific purpose in each one.
For instance, this story in I Kings 10 is obviously about a woman. Wouldn’t there have been many other male rulers who visited Solomon who were amazed at Solomon’s wealth and wisdom? Yet God chose to focus on a woman. For any who call God a woman-hater, God is communicating his love for all. He created each person as his “image bearer,” which gives every person intrinsic worth and value.
Even with the importance of that message, ultimately the primary purpose in everything in the Bible is to demonstrate who God is—his nature—and bring him glory. TWEET THAT!!!!!The phrase in verse 1, “concerning the name of the Lord,” is the key. The story isn’t merely about Solomon but how he reflected his God, Jehovah. In the ears and eyes of everyone who has heard of Solomon, the two are connected.
But how did so many hear about Solomon and his awesome God? As for the Queen of Sheba, news passed along through the trade routes reached her court. Sheba was in an area with a strong agricultural economy, and those traveling in and out doing business passed along the incredible news of Solomon and the God he depended upon. The Queen of Sheba had to know if the rumors were true. She had a hungry heart wanting to understand the truths of life. In fact, rulers at this time loved to talk philosophically about those very things. And evidently Solomon was known to be the best. Remember the story of the two prostitutes claiming one baby as their own (I Kings 3:16–28)?
These philosophical talks are referred to when the queen “told him all that was on her mind” (I Kings 10:2), and Solomon answered all her questions, completely satisfying and amazing her. This interaction is what verse 1 calls “hard questions,” which can also be translated “riddles.” She was longing to figure out the paradoxes of life, and Solomon knew the answers best. As a result, she spoke to Solomon acknowledging “the Lord your God who has delighted in you and set you on the throne of Israel” (I Kings 10:8).
The queen also acknowledged God’s generosity who had provided Solomon’s wealth, influence, and wisdom. God was being exalted as he should be. In her eyes, Solomon was the representative of his God.As you and I work in whatever setting God has for us, we can call upon him for the courage to handle difficult people and situations boldly like Solomon did. We won’t be perfect—even Solomon wasn’t perfect—yet God graciously gave him everything he needed to bless God’s chosen people, the Israelites.
First Kings 10 is a clear example of how the Bible contains layers of meaning. The story of the Queen of Sheba wasn’t solely about her gaining wisdom but acknowledging what she longed for came from Solomon who was taught by Jehovah. The deepest reference is how the Bible points to the coming teacher, shepherd, and savior, Jesus, who is completely wise and never sins nor makes mistakes.
As you study the Bible, look for layers of meaning. TWEET THAT!!!!The ultimate deepest meaning is always about the Messiah Jesus. Jesus said in Matthew 12:42: “The queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, something greater than Solomon is here.”
Jesus is pointing to himself as the ultimate reflection of God’s wisdom, holiness, and love because he himself is God, the Son of God.Here are some questions to delve into this story more:
Why do you think God is including this story in his Word?What impresses you about the Queen of Sheba?What kind of courage do you think it took for this queen to seek wisdom from Solomon?What qualities and attitudes as a ruler are revealed in her trip?When you think of some unwise employers/managers, what contrasting qualities or attitudes to the Queen of Sheba do they have?What resources for wisdom do you have as a Christian which strengthens your courage (James 1:5)?(This excerpt is from my women’s Bible study: Heart of Courage: Daughters of the King Bible Study Series).
