Kathy Collard Miller's Blog, page 15
November 30, 2020
Being an Alien in an Anti-Heaven Culture
I felt really silly. Here it was 88 degrees in Southern California and I was adorned with a wool skirt, long sleeved sweater, wool blazer, and boots. Over my arm, I’d slung a wool coat. If my neighbors had by chance looked out their windows to see me loading the car with my luggage, they would have wondered whether I’d lost my marbles.
But the revealing clue to my state of mind is that I was loading luggage! I was on my way to the airport for a flight to the East Coast where a blizzard was in process. I’d rather be hot here for a little bit of time and kept warm there the whole time I’m visiting.
As I walked through the airport, most people had on shorts, t-shirts, and sandals. But some of us who were headed for colder destinations lugged our warm clothing. It seemed awkward and a bother to be wearing the bulky clothes and hauling the heavy coats, but I knew warm clothing would pay off when I faced the freezing wind of New York. And indeed, once I arrived in New York, I fit right in! Everyone had on their wool clothing and I didn’t feel awkward at all. Just grateful for the warmth enveloping me.
It didn’t take me long into my trip before the connection with Philippians 3:20-21 hit me:
“For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself.”
We are inhabitants of earth but citizens of heaven.
We are “aliens” surrounded by the “hot weather” of an anti-heaven culture, yet our “clothing” is heavenly. We’re supposed to be “dressed” for heaven by looking at our lives with the “warm clothing” of our future eternity. We awkwardly wear our earthly clothing and don’t fit in within the culture of immorality, distrust of God, self-dependence, and self-absorption. Our spiritual appetites are strange to those who don’t have a passport for heaven, but once we reach our destination and are transformed into our heavenly permanent bodies, our spiritual perspective will seem completely normal.
But that hasn’t happened yet, and so we are aliens here, tempted by this temporary world’s fare and frame of reference. One day we’ll arrive at our final destination where we will be welcomed by our Savior and enjoy the mansion built for His children.
On another trip, I looked out the plane’s window and was awestruck that a cloud formation looked like a doorway into heaven. Beautiful white clouds formed a circle with blue sky in the middle. Leading up into the center of the cloud formation were pastel-colored clouds looking like huge steps. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
I felt the most intense desire to run right out the airplane wing and walk toward that circle of light. Thinking of it right now makes me hunger for heaven because I know it will be even more wonderful than that, because my beloved Jesus will greet me beyond those clouds.
As you are tempted by the “alien” world you are living in now, just know that what is waiting for you will feel completely at home. Just like wearing cold weather clothing when it’s a hot 88 degree California day.
November 15, 2020
In Turbulent Times, Remember God’s “Coincidences”
Our minds know there are no “coincidences” but our hearts begin to worry about the future.
When I wrote my book, Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries, I studied the book of Esther in preparation for writing the chapter on how knowing God’s power can eliminate our worry.
You most likely know Esther had a lot she could have worried about. She stood outside the king’s chamber and realized that within a few minutes she could be dead. That didn’t happen, of course. Her story is about how God used her, a young Jewish girl, to become Queen of Persia and Media and protect the Jewish people from extermination. The amazing thing is that God’s name is never mentioned, yet His fingerprints are all over this biblical book.
Here are just some of the ways God’s power over circumstances is shown in Esther’s story:
Queen Vashti refuses to obey the King and she is displaced.
The king is encouraged to find a new wife through a beauty contest.
Mordecai sends his cousin, Esther, to the contest.
Esther finds favor with the person in charge of the beauty contestants.
The king chooses Esther as his new queen.
Mordecai stops an assassination plot against the king, but the king doesn’t reward him.
The enemy of the Jews, Haman, plots to have the Jews exterminated.
Esther finds favor with the king to come unannounced into his presence.
The king has insomnia and reads the book of records, “just happening” to turn to the page with the details of Mordecai reporting the plot, and realizes Mordecai was not rewarded.
Haman appears at that very moment and is sent to give honor (the king’s reward) to Haman’s enemy, Mordecai.
Esther plans two banquets and is seemingly attacked by Haman in front of the king.
The king commands Haman’s death and gives Esther permission to have the Jews protect themselves when the citizens attack them.
Talk about espionage and suspense! God’s power is evident in so many ways. There were so many things that Esther could have worried about.
Of course the most famous line showing her victory over worry is, “Go, assemble all the Jews who are found in Susa, and fast for me; do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maidens also will fast in the same way. And thus I will go in to the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16 NASB)
Esther submitted herself to God’s protection and care. We want to be just like Esther, and we can be! Even though the chaos in our country and our world seems out of control, we can be assured God is on the throne and is never worried.
As a part of every chapter in Partly Cloudy, I wrote out a “Letter from God” that seemed like it might represent God’s heart for us. Here is the letter from the chapter on God’s power. I pray it blesses and strengthens your heart.
My Precious Daughter:
I am powerful. Nothing makes Me worried. Nothing surprises Me. I know exactly what I’m planning. Though your thinking is limited, Mine is not. I can see everything and I know everything. Trust Me and My intentions for your good.
Nothing is too hard for Me! I know exactly all that I’m planning. I never stop midway. I fulfill all My plan. Know that I never stop before I’m finished.
Nothing is confusing to Me. I know exactly how I’m going to work. I have multiple choices, and I know the best way. You can believe I’ll use whatever method is best.
Nothing rushes Me. I know exactly the timing for what I have planned. I know it’s hard to wait, but waiting will build your faith and trust in Me. I don’t make you wait without a reason. Trust that I am in control of all the details.
Beloved, I can do anything. I everything I do in your life is meant to draw you closer to My loving heart. Draw close to Me. Rest in Me! My arms are open to you and I’m working on your behalf.
I love you,
Your Heavenly Father
What is the most important aspect for you of God’s power from the book of Esther? Can you think of any other “coincidences” from the story?
Click to find out more about Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries
November 6, 2020
Book Drawing: “365 Ways to Love Your Child” by Julie Lavender
Book Drawing!!!! “365 Ways to Love Your Child:Turning Little Moments into Lasting Memories”
by Julie Lavender
If you’re looking for a new way to say “I love you” to your child, you’ll find 365 suggestions in 365 Ways to Love Your Child: Turning Little Moments Into Lasting Memories for memory-making moments that will warm your child’s heart.
I’m so excited to offer Julie’s book in a book drawing! The drawing ends Saturday evening, Nov. 14, 2020. Read below for how to enter the drawing.
Little Moments Add Up to Big Memories
by Julie Lavender @Jlavenderwrites
Let’s face it – parenting can be the toughest job on the planet, but it is certainly the most rewarding one! Be sure to make the most of every opportunity to make memories with your kids. You won’t regret later that you sometimes went to bed with a sinkful of dirty dishes, but you may wish you’d spent more time outside playing with your children or reading that book “just one more time.”
The moments don’t have to be monumental to be momentous! You know what my kids remember most about a couple of our vacations? Jumping from one bed to the other bed in the hotel room! And not only did Mommy and Daddy encourage and take part in the fun, but we also piled pillows on the floor and stood between the beds to make sure no one got hurt.
Big moments in a family are fun, too and should be celebrated with great fanfare!
In other words, nothing is too big or too small when it comes to expressing love to our children. Love your children with great gusto. You’ll make memories to last a lifetime, and you’ll give them a glimpse of how big the love of their heavenly Father is!
And on those days when you think you’ve barely had time to breathe, let along make “lasting memories,” then give yourself grace and realize that you’ll have another opportunity the next day. Parenting is hard – you’re doing a great job! Keep up the good work.
When You’re Outside:
* Give your child a plastic watering can with “I love you” written on it with a permanent marker. Water the plants and flowers and trees together.
* Wake your child during a late-night meteor shower. Take them outside to lie on a blanket on the ground and watch for falling stars. Tell your child, “You are my shining star!” and “You are out of this world!”
When You’re at Home:
* Surprise your sweetie with a warm towel following bath time. Throw their towel in the dryer briefly to fluff and warm it for a wintertime surprise!
* Make a practice of honking three times when you leave the house to “honk” the words I love you to your child if it won’t disturb the neighbors.
When You’re in the Kitchen:
* Make homemade biscuits and form each one into letters to spell out your child’s name.
* Treat your child to a lemonade or favorite fruit drink in a disposable cup. Write a love note on the cup and draw hearts with a pen.
When You’re Running Errands:
* Toss pennies in a fountain and make wishes, but with this caveat: you make wishes for your child and your child makes wishes for you. Take turns sharing the wishes aloud and tossing pennies.
* Play an imaginary game of hide-and-seek while running errands. Let our child think of a hiding spot inside the house. Because it’s a pretend game, the location can be anywhere and any size. Ask them questions that can be answered yes or no and try to guess the hiding spot. You take a turn next and let your child guess your hiding spot.
Thank you, Julie, for those fabulous ideas. Here’s more about this fabulous book:
If you’re looking for a new way to say “I love you” to your child, you’ll find 365 suggestions in 365 Ways to Love Your Child: Turning Little Moments Into Lasting Memories for memory-making moments that will warm your child’s heart. 365 Ways to Love Your Child offers creative suggestions for activities, gestures, and expressions of love to show your child how much you treasure them. With simple ideas and heartwarming tokens of affection, 365 Ways encourages you to spend quality time with your child every day to create a treasury of warm memories to savor throughout childhood and beyond.
With each expression of your love, your child gets a glimpse of the unfathomable love of our heavenly Father. Along the parenting journey, help your child recognize God’s love through your own devotion, attentiveness, and verbal affirmations. Find time each day to transform a little moment into a precious memory. You’ll be so glad you did!
Two Links for buying Julie’s book:
http://bakerpublishinggroup.com/books/365-ways-to-love-your-child/402920
Just think! You might win this book (or feel free to buy it right away at the above links). To enter, make a comment on my blog post. I will draw the winner on Saturday evening, Nov. 14, 2020. Only US addresses can win.
Here’s more about Julie Lavender:
One of Julie’s favorite colors as a child was purple, so she loved taking on the last name “Lavender” when she married. 
Julie Lavender is the author of the newly-released parenting book, 365 Ways to Love Your Child: Turning Little Moments Into Lasting Memories (Revell). She is a journalist, author, newspaper stringer, and former homeschooling mom of twenty-five years with a Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education. Julie contributes to Guideposts Magazine and Chicken Soup for the Soul and wrote curriculum for more than two dozen teacher resources for Group Publishing, Incorporated. Her work appears in magazines like Clubhouse, Today’s Christian Woman, Focus on the Family, The Upper Room, Refresh, CBN.com, Southern Writers, MTL Online Magazine, Book Fun, Mature Living, Country Woman, ParentLife, and Taste of Home. Julie is wife to David, mom to four, mom-in-law to one, and grandmommy to a precious grandson.
Contact info for Julie:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/julie.lavender.10
Facebook author page: https://www.facebook.com/JulieLavenderAuthor
Facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/607967430049843
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/julielavenderwrites/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JLavenderwrites
Website: https://julielavenderwrites.com/
Remember to make a comment on my blog post to enter the drawing!
October 31, 2020
How Can We “Boast Legitimately”?
If you’re like me you’re most likely thinking, “I thought we weren’t supposed to boast otherwise we’re being proud.”
I’ve felt the same way but then I began to notice how often boasting is referred to in the Bible–and by the Apostle Paul no less! Just take a look at some of these:
“Therefore in Christ Jesus I have found reason for boasting in things pertaining to God.” Romans 15:17
“But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another.” Galatians 6:4
“But may it never be that I should boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” Galatians 6:14.
“But He who boasts, let him boast in the Lord. For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commands.” Second Corinthians 10:17-18
Are you surprised like I was?
Here are some of my thoughts about those verses (and others):
It’s okay to boast, as long as the boasting is based in God’s work through us.
Giving God glory in His working through us is not pride; it’s true humility.
Boasting should be only about God’s work.
We shouldn’t base our humility in comparing ourselves to others. The basis for humility is not whether we’ve done better or more poorly than another, but in God using us even though we are broken vessels.
Humility and legitimate boasting can get excited about what God is doing! We can say (humbly), “I have really grown in my ability to trust God in….” As long as we’re acknowledging God is doing the work through us, that’s appropriate.
Our knowledge of God’s work must be based in His grace. Grace means I don’t deserve to be used by God to accomplish His purposes. Grace means that because of God’s mercy and generosity, He chooses to use each of us–and He doesn’t even need us! That’s something great to boast about.
If you’ve been afraid to mention how you’ve grown or become stronger in the Lord for fear of it sounding like pride, you can “legitimately boast” in the Lord. The Apostle Paul did! TWEET THAT!!!!!
We can also and we will be giving God the glory He deserves.
How do you “legitimately” boast in the Lord? I would love to hear.
October 17, 2020
I Had Mononucleosis: “I Can’t Accomplish Anything!”
I had a deadline for a book and forced myself to continue writing. But eventually I was completely drained and diagnosed with mononucleosis. When I asked the doctor how long it would last, he explained it was different for everyone. For me, it ended up being nine months of a very slow healing. At first, I couldn’t get out of bed. Over the months, my energy slowing increased.
It was a long season during which God taught me a lot.
Including evaluating my basic thought; “I can’t do anything. I can’t accomplish anything. What good am I?”
“Lord, you know how much I enjoy getting things done. I hate to say it, but I base a lot of my self-image and identity on what I do. How can I handle this?”
Over those “useless” months, I learned all my work, ministry, and accomplishments did not define my worth and value or what was most important. TWEET THAT!!!!
The Apostle Paul’s words in Philippians 3:8 became more real to me than ever before:
“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”
The word “count” Paul uses is the idea of “evaluate or assess.” Paul evaluated everything he had before Christ and everything he gained through knowing Christ, and he could say without a doubt that the present knowledge of Christ was far superior.
I look back on that season of “being still and knowing God”, even though it was so long ago, as a precious experience of increasing my intimacy with God through silence and inactivity.
Since then I’ve been challenged in other ways to let go of accomplishment and busyness as my value and worth, including a five year sabbatical from ministry.
I still am tempted to “worship” what I produce, but little by little I continue to learn to rest in God’s value of me because of who I am in Christ (Ephesians 1). I can relax and “count” knowing Jesus as my primary joy and blessing.
How about you?
How have you resisted the lure of “production” and focused on knowing Jesus as more valuable?
October 8, 2020
Book Giveaway: “Marriage Meet Ups” by Bill and Pam Farrel
All of us need encouragement, inspiration and examples of other successful couples. The amazing Pam and Bill Farrel offer all of that and their latest marriage book will encourage you and your spouse to spend quality time together.
Marriage Meet Ups provides a plan you can follow to intentionally design the type of marriage, family and life you want as a couple. It is dynamic, deliberate and adjustable because it is your plan for your relationship.
Here’s a sample from Marriage Meet Ups. This will help you see the value of the Farrel’s wonderful book.
Building Together
by Bill and Pam Farrel
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. – Leo Buscaglia
We built our home in San Diego where we raised our children. We didn’t pay to have it built—we hammered it together ourselves. Bill was an architectural draftsman before he became a pastor. He went from building houses to building homes. In a state where over 500 earthquakes per year happen, it is vital to have a strong foundation and be prepared.
Because Bill is a skilled draftsman, he understood the vital need for solid footings. To meet code, our home was built to withstand at least a 6.0 quake. My husband went above and beyond when putting in the steel rebar into the concrete foundation, then fixing the steel strappings to the foundations. Over the years that we resided there, several sizeable quakes that should have rocked our home happened – other homes were damaged, but not ours!
For either the external structure or the internal relationships of a home to stand up under pressure, it is vital to have a strong foundation.
Our words are a powerful groundwork for lasting love. Proverbs 18:21 proclaims that “life is in the power of the tongue.” Check out a few verses that show we build with our words (emphasis added):
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Eph 4:29 NIV) (exposit)
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. (1 Thes 5:11)
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18)
Everything you say should be kind and well thought out so that you know how to answer everyone. (Col 4:6 GWT)
Your Marriage Meet Up
Each take a few moments to build one another up by completing the sentence:
The reason(s) I am positive about building a life with you is because I see these constructive, life-giving traits in you _____________
(List off as many as you can think of and explain why your value these traits)
Husband to wife:
Wife to husband:
Prayer prompt: Lord, help us keep seeing the positive side of each other week after week. Help us build up rather than tear down. Amen
Thank you for sharing, Pam & Bill.
Isn’t that wonderful, my friends? Practical! Inspirational! and Empowering! You can check out more information here about it:
And to enter the drawing (which will end on Friday, October 16, 2020), make a comment on my blog. Only USA addresses can win.
Here’s more about the fabulous book:
Do you want the VERY BEST in Life, Marriage, Family, work and Love? YES! You are a unique couple and you deserve to have a unique plan for your journey together. The quality of your marriage is determined by the decisions you make together. Many couples make these choices a bit haphazardly hoping everything turns out well, but they wish there was a more structured way to figure things out and build a bright future TOGETHER.
This collection of strategy sheets will guide you to …
Gain insight into how your spouse likes to live
Have productive conversations that minimize conflict
Make decisions together that maximize emotional, spiritual and physical connection
Improved conversations about money and financial choices
Boost productivity so you get more done at work, home, or ministry
Delegate well so things do not fall through the cracks of a busy life
Nurture your relationship and create more time for the happy-side of marriage, romance, and intimacy
Get and stay on the same page so you can move forward TOGETHER in unity
Strengthen your spiritual life together and draw you closer to God and your partner
Be sure to enter the drawing before Friday, October 16th
Bestselling authors of more than 50 books, Pam and Bill Farrel have been happily married for 40 years and one of the key ingredients of their marital, family and business/ministry success is their “Monday Morning Marriage Meetings”. They have discovered that proactive planning dates lower stress and raise the enjoyment level of life.
The Farrels have fine-tuned these strategy sheets to include activities and choices that are proven to provide strength to any marriage. Woven into each “meet up” are key decisions that boost productivity and activities that draw hearts closer to fan the flame of romance—even for the busiest couples! These Marriage Meetups are great for EVERY couple who wants the best for their marriage, family, work and/or ministry.
Pick up a set (one for her, one for him), set your first meet up date and design your best year ever TOGETHER!
September 30, 2020
Cancer and Sanctification
On October 1st, 2020, I will celebrate the 53rd anniversary of the day I received Christ and became a Christian.I’m writing this the day before, knowing that tomorrow, I’ll be having Mohs surgery for skin cancer. Don’t worry, at this point the basal cell carcinoma should be taken care of fairly easily. It’s on the cartilage of my ear and I think I got it early. I know what Mohs surgery is like, My other ear had squamous cell cancer and had the same procedure.
If you’re not familiar with this skin cancer procedure, the dermatologist excises a little tissue which is then tested for cancer. Over and over more skin tissue is taken and tested until there’s no more cancer detected.
As I thought of this happening, I couldn’t help but connect this procedure with what I’ve experienced for the 53 years of knowing Christ: sanctification.
One way I think sanctification can be described is God tests (through circumstances and people) the layers of my heart to reveal evidence of any sin. Then He excises that part of my heart to be more pure by calling me to repentance and surrender in greater trust in Him.
In Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today, my husband, Larry, and I wrote about this sanctification process in another way:
Most of us think of sanctification visually like a linear time line.
On the left side of the line we make a step of progress and the temptation is now in the past—we think—and we’ll never need to address it again. We believe we have movied along that line to the right and we’ll only encounter new challenges—not old ones. But that’s not an accurate visual of spiritual change.
Spiritual change is like a spiral. Let’s call it a whirlpool.
Doesn’t life seem like that at times? We’re going around and around and every time we reach a certain area, there’s a rock, representing one of our sinful strategies, hitting us. In our spiritual walk, the rock represents a temptation to be react in an ungodly way– when we’re “hooked.” If we think there are no rocks (as if they are behind us in a time line), we’ll be surprised and unaware of their approach.
But knowing we have the tendencies of a particular sinful commitment, we can see that rock in the whirlpool coming.
Instead of being knocked around by it, we can actually chip off a piece by laying hold of God’s power and resisting the temptation. Like the Mohs procedure, little by little, chip by chip, layers of sinful rock are “excised.” The rock–sinful ungodly patterns– becomes smaller and smaller until it disappears—or grows so little that the temptation is easily resisted.
Unfortunately, we don’t become perfect because there are many rocks in that whirlpool of our lives!
Although this description of sanctification may not seem pleasant, like some medical procedure, it is actually for our good and our growth and glory for God. I’ve seen this occur for the 53 years of walking with Christ. And I actually feel more loved and valued because the Holy Spirit works on my heart and as a result I react more often with the fruit of the Spirit.
I hope you’ll be more encouraged to allow the Spirit to test and excise sinful parts of your heart. He loves you too much to allow you to continue in sinful ways. His way is the way of life.
How do you describe sanctification?
September 28, 2020
Confessions: I Loved to Gossip
My most painful memory of choosing gossip is when I wrote three sentences about a friend of mine in one of my early books. (Don’t worry; it’s out of print). I didn’t use her name and I thought, “She’ll know this is her and it will help her see the truth about her struggle. It will help her.”
What was her struggle? Hating being gossiped about. Isn’t that ironic? I was so deceived that I was using gossip to help her not be so sensitive about being gossiped about. That’s the deception gossip can cause.
Did she know it was her? Oh yes, and it destroyed our friendship.
Proverbs 16:28 warns us, “A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.” (AMPC) Proverbs 16:28 is true. It did separate us and no amount of me asking for her forgiveness ever brought us together again.
Can I say I never gossip now? Most likely not. But I’m so glad that sinful strategy doesn’t have the same stronghold on me it used to.
Commentators tell us the verb “sows” in Proverbs 16:28 indicates the idea of sending forth like seed which “hurls as a missile weapon.” The word “whisperer” is a graphic term we can picture in our minds. It has the idea of a person who hides their words and also their intentions. They can later defend themselves by claiming they weren’t heard clearly.
Gossip seems like a tasty morsel because if we pass things along we feel important. TWEET THAT!!!!!
Gossip gives us the feeling we know something someone else doesn’t.
Listening to gossip can make us feel needed or included in a special group, especially if we want to be favored by the gossiper or we don’t like the person who is the object of the gossip.
Another sinful motivator can be someone is entrusting us with important information.
In all of this, we are believing God created some people inferior and lower than us. We are defaming God’s image within that person. But every single person has been created in God’s image, whether or not they acknowledge it. He created them with intrinsic worth and value even if they have smudged it themselves.
A good way to determine whether we are gossiping is to ask ourselves, “Would I say this about her if she were standing here hearing it?” TWEET THAT!!!!
We can also ask God to reveal the motive of our heart. Do we hope to gain something or feel better about ourselves because we are a tale-bearer with seemingly the inside scoop?
Everything we do, including any human connection or friend we choose and maintain, reveals the motives of our heart. If we are not choosing God as the ultimate provider for our emotional needs, we will demand from others what they cannot fulfill. When they fail us, we will be tempted to respond in ungodly ways. If someone rejects us who we thought would make us feel special, we may gossip about them. Or if we think our image in someone’s eyes is less than we want, we may follow after them into sin to gain their approval.
These temptations are often subtle and alluring. We must be alert to quickly catch wrong desires within our hearts which will energize sinful responses.
When I sinned against my friend over 30 years ago, it destroyed our friendship. I’ve never forgotten the damage and remembering has helped me to receive God’s help to love others well and not gossip.
See if this “Letter from God” to you, His Princess is meaningful as you think of the temptation of gossip.
My precious Princess and Daughter:
Friendships are one of my many gifts to you. They lift you up when you’re discouraged and increase your joy when you’re happy. Yet, I never intended for friends to be a substitute for me! If you enjoy a person’s company more than mine, something’s wrong. I am the only one who can meet all your needs, the only one who can give you all the love you need.
I want you to have friends, to cherish the moments you spend together, to be there for each other, to seek their help. I particularly designed you as a woman to value relationships and to cultivate good ones.
When a friend blesses you, my loved one, know that I am the source of that. When a friend disappoints you, know I am still there, offering my unconditional love and acceptance. Sadly, there are times when a friendship may be destroyed. But my love will never end. Nothing can separate you from my friendship.
Lovingly,
Your heavenly Father, the King
(This commentary on Proverbs 16:28 and the Letter from God are adapted from my women’s Bible study on the biblical book of The Proverbs. Heart Wisdom: Daughters of the King Bible Study Series. 
September 22, 2020
Free Yourself of Being Offended
In the past I chose to be offended a lot. I didn’t know what motivated me. Over time, I’ve discovered the reasons and grown in being less offended. And let me tell you, being less offended is freedom!
Being offended occurs a lot in our world. And it seems justified. Someone stops attending church because of the sin of Christians. A pastor has an affair. A Christian businessperson swindles people. A Christian who … the examples are endless. The person leaving the church declares, “I don’t want any part of a group filled with hypocrites.” They are offended because their focus is on people, not Jesus.
Jesus was never offended. Not one single time. TWEET THAT!
Jesus, while on earth, dealt with the same reactions in others and was never offended. Not one single time. In John 6:51-66, Jesus refers to feeding on His flesh and drinking His blood. And life coming only through Him. These concepts are strange to everyone hearing Him and seem contrary to the laws of the Torah.
Then this happens:
“When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this?… After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.” (John 6:60-61, 66).
Though Jesus is completely sinless, His words to the large group of followers has offended them, and they want to leave the “church.”
Yes, they misunderstand what Jesus is talking about (his body, flesh, and blood), but being offended is more than lacking mental understanding.
Taking offense is a defensive protection surrounding the self and the heart—how we feel and regard ourselves and how we want others to think of us. TWEET THAT!!!!
Those in the crowd surrounding Jesus may have been thinking:
I don’t have to look to someone else for life. I’m in charge. You think I’m powerless?
I’m keeping the Law and you’re saying I need something different? You think I’m a bad person?
You’re saying I have to be a cannibal? Eating flesh is crazy. You think I’m crazy?
Of course, these are guesses, but most of the time when we’re offended, we feel there’s a judgment about us. We are “hurt,” which is another way of saying we are insulted, put down. Someone has indicated we’re less than we want to appear. For these “followers,” being offended reveals they are not following Jesus out of pure motives of love and respect. They want life but on their own terms. What He can give them–not Him as the gift.
As many in the crowd leave, they grumble all the way. Yet Jesus is immovable. Jesus’s immovability about his Father’s mission models strength and commitment for all followers and especially His apostles.
Don’t be offended because others are offended.
Jesus is saying to us: “My followers, many will be offended and turn away. Stay immovable in the mission I’ve given you.” Remember:
Rejection of the message is to be expected.
You won’t be perfect, but no one is justified in being offended.
Don’t take personally the responses of others. Stay immovable in knowing I know the truth about you.
Remember and meditate on the truths I teach you. My message is immovable.
Spiritual growth is a process. No one will be able to change immediately. Others will struggle, and so will you.
Growth in knowledge is also a process. Teach and rehearse the basics.
My Spirit is the one who brings fruit within the mind and heart, not you. You are the vessel.
As the apostles later begin their ministries, Jesus’s example of not being offended will strengthen them.
When you begin to feel offended, how can Jesus’s immovability strengthen you?
(Adapted from God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature available in print, Kindle and audio) 
September 16, 2020
Don’t Tell Mom. She’ll Worry!
Unfortunately, ours did. We thought it was a wise thing to do, but in reality, it was a subtle form of manipulation.
Whenever I think of that sinful strategy, I think of the biblical Rebekah who kept secrets. She wasn’t necessarily preventing someone from worrying, but she was trying to make happen what she thought was best. That’s what we’re doing when we say things like, “Don’t tell them! They will worry!”
In effect, our attitude, like Rebekah’s, is “do what I say; no need to seek God yourself.”
That’s the same with withholding information from someone. But maybe God wants a person to know the information so that they can see their need of casting their cares on Jesus (I Peter 5:7). Or so that they can face their fears and examine where the fear came from.
When we manipulate or try to protect someone, we are playing God. TWEET THAT!!!
So let’s learn from the story of Rebekah, who, from a human standpoint, had a lot to worry about.
Before her twin sons were born, God told Rebekah, “Two nations are in your womb; And two peoples shall be separated from your body; And one people shall be stronger than the other; And the older shall serve the younger” (Genesis 25:23 NASB).
When they were grown, Rebekah hatched a plan to make sure God’s prophecy would happen–that the younger, Jacob, would get the inheritance rather than the older one, Esau. When it appeared it wouldn’t, Rebekah couldn’t trust God and forced it to happen her way. Because Esau was swindled out of his inheritance, he threatened his brother’s life. Then Rebekah took matters into her own hands again! She encouraged her husband, Isaac, to send Jacob away to her brother’s home to visit, thinking he could return soon (Genesis 27:41-45).
We can only imagine the worry that consumed her as she fretted over her favorite son, Jacob. Maybe it played out like this:
Rebekah paced across the rugs on the dirt floor of the tent. “Oh, my, oh my! What can I do? Esau is going to kill Jacob. I just know it!” She stopped wringing her hands long enough to peek out through the flap in the tent, fully expecting to see Jacob stumbling up to her, blood pouring from a knife in his chest saying, “Esau stabbed me! Help me mother!”
“Oh no! Oh, no! Oh Jehovah, you got us into this mess when you said Esau would serve Jacob. Why did you do that? Can’t you see the problems that has made? Well, I’ll just have to take care of this. What can I do?”
Rebekah continued to pace and wring her hands until she slashed a cut in her hand with one of her fingernails. She drew the blood, trying to make the wound close up, when the thought suddenly popped into her brain. “That’s it! I’ll send Jacob to my brother’s house! That’ll keep him out of harm’s way, and then he can come home as soon as Esau’s anger cools. Oh, I’m so glad I thought of it! This will solve all our problems!”
We sadly shake our heads in dismay, because Rebekah’s manipulations didn’t solve anything. God knew all this would happen when He determined the future and his prediction did indeed occur.
The saddest thing, though, is that Rebekah never saw her beloved son again. He stayed at her brother’s house for many years, and she died before he returned. We can only imagine the loneliness and sadness she experienced in those years of waiting for him.
Her worry and manipulation had stolen from her the very thing Rebekah tried to protect: her son’s presence.
Rebekah’s form of manipulation was only one way we handle worry. There are many, including “Don’t tell mom. She’ll worry.”
How have you resisted worry turning into manipulation? TWEET THAT!!!!
(This post is adapted from my book, Partly Cloudy With Scattered Worries). 
