Gary Goldstein's Blog - Posts Tagged "narcotics-anonymous"
Six Years And Counting!
Yesterday marked six years that I have been clean & sober, and while I don’t really make a big deal out of it myself, I know the significance is the fact that other people in recovery can benefit by realizing that change IS possible – one day at a time.
When I was incarcerated from 1998 to 2004 in various correctional facilities in upstate New York, I started going to many Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and Gamblers Anonymous meetings because I was so disappointed with myself and upset over getting arrested for robbery, which I knew was a direct result of my past addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling.
However, I had reservations about whether or not I was actually going to remain clean once I came home a free man, and, sure enough, about 18 months after that day finally arrived, I did suffer a relapse.
Fortunately, though, I woke up on the morning of Wednesday, October 31, 2007 (the fact that it was Halloween was a mere coincidence), and decided right then and there that I had enough of my destructive lifestyle, and finally wanted to change!
I am proud to say that I have not only refrained from using since then, but also amended other aspects of my life for the better as well.
My temper is under control, I think things through first, rather than acting out impulsively, I don’t litter, I always have a smile on my face, and perhaps, sweetest of all, I continue to spread the message of recovery to those who are still sick and suffering.
It may have taken a very long time, but I now realize that I am not responsible for my disease, but am responsible for my recovery.
Obviously, I can’t turn back the hands of time and undo the pain and aggravation I caused myself, my family, and so many others, so the next best thing is to try and be the most honorable person possible every single day going forward!
In closing, one final point I want to stress to all of you reading this right now is that, regardless of how you are feeling inside, NEVER keep things bottled up.
Either talk to someone in person, reach out on the phone, or at the very least, write down your feelings on paper.
And continue to be the role model you have become for so many people – even if you are not conscious of this fact yet yourself!
When I was incarcerated from 1998 to 2004 in various correctional facilities in upstate New York, I started going to many Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and Gamblers Anonymous meetings because I was so disappointed with myself and upset over getting arrested for robbery, which I knew was a direct result of my past addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling.
However, I had reservations about whether or not I was actually going to remain clean once I came home a free man, and, sure enough, about 18 months after that day finally arrived, I did suffer a relapse.
Fortunately, though, I woke up on the morning of Wednesday, October 31, 2007 (the fact that it was Halloween was a mere coincidence), and decided right then and there that I had enough of my destructive lifestyle, and finally wanted to change!
I am proud to say that I have not only refrained from using since then, but also amended other aspects of my life for the better as well.
My temper is under control, I think things through first, rather than acting out impulsively, I don’t litter, I always have a smile on my face, and perhaps, sweetest of all, I continue to spread the message of recovery to those who are still sick and suffering.
It may have taken a very long time, but I now realize that I am not responsible for my disease, but am responsible for my recovery.
Obviously, I can’t turn back the hands of time and undo the pain and aggravation I caused myself, my family, and so many others, so the next best thing is to try and be the most honorable person possible every single day going forward!
In closing, one final point I want to stress to all of you reading this right now is that, regardless of how you are feeling inside, NEVER keep things bottled up.
Either talk to someone in person, reach out on the phone, or at the very least, write down your feelings on paper.
And continue to be the role model you have become for so many people – even if you are not conscious of this fact yet yourself!
Recovery Is Freedom!
My name is Gary Goldstein, author of "Jew in Jail," as well as blogger, and motivational & inspirational speaker.
More importantly, however, is the fact that I am an addict in long-term recovery, approaching six years and four months clean.
It took a lot of pain and suffering - both that I experienced myself and caused others - to finally get me to change my ways.
But once I finally decided to seek recovery from alcohol, drugs and gambling on October 31, 2007, my life has continued to get immeasurably better.
I know I have a disease, and that there is no cure, so I must remain vigilant every single day of my life and make sure to never get overconfident or complacent, because that is an easy way to relapse.
I am also extremely aware that this disease doesn't discriminate, and whether you are a college graduate, like I am, or a homeless person sleeping in the subway, addiction will destroy your life the same way regardless.
So, how does one rationalize it when a person who seemingly has it all - most recently, actor Philip Seymour Hoffman - succumbs to this disease by way of an overdose?
Well, I am certainly not a doctor, but just a guy from Brooklyn, New York, who has seen a lot in his 52 plus years on this planet, and, for me, at least, it all comes down to self-esteem and self-confidence.
Even though I was an A student, who went on to earn a college degree in journalism and then worked for many prestigious companies in the media industry, it wasn't until 1998 - the year I got arrested for robbery, due to my past addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling, and was ultimately sentenced to seven years in prison - that I finally decided to spend time being introspective and come to terms with why I was drinking, using drugs and gambling.
I simply wasn't happy who I was, or, as many people call it, "comfortable in my own skin."
Knowing I wasn't going anywhere until 2004 at the earliest, barring a successful criminal appeal, (which was not meant to be, and I served just under six years), I decided to put my thoughts down on paper, and wrote Jew in Jail.
http://www.jewinjail.com/
The therapeutic value was something I had no idea would end up being so priceless to this day, as it was the impetus for all of the good things that have happened since my release from prison.
I am now the president of the alumni committee at the Coney Island Hospital Chemical Dependency Program, and am also on several committees with the New York State Office Of Alcoholism And Substance Abuse Services.
I have returned to Rikers Island to speak to the detainees there and help spread the message of recovery, and since I didn't have a number on my shirt this time around, I was treated much better by the staff!
By being connected to OASAS, doors have opened, including getting invited to travel the country to attend National Recovery Day, as well as speaking to prisoners at other correctional facilities too.
http://youtu.be/dE4DFCbXRF4
The bottom line, in my recovery and from what I have learned by speaking and attending Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous meetings, is that the only way to remain clean is by sharing the message of recovery and hope with others.
Keeping things bottled up inside for so long, thinking that my problems were unique to me, was a huge mistake.
I have so much gratitude for where I am in my life now, and owe it all to not only the great people I have met along the way, but to my own determination and desire to finally change and stop beating myself up about my past.
As for addicts like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Cory Monteith, Whitney Houston, and all of the others who have perished too soon, it just goes to show that being a wealthy celebrity is no guarantee for happiness.
We are all humans, with feelings, emotions, desires and needs.
Being labeled a recovering addict doesn't bother me one bit.
Life is way too short to care what others think of me.
If you are a recovering addict, I hope you realize the great decision you made to seek treatment.
If you are still "out there" dealing with the insanity that comes with using, please consider going to a meeting or, at the very least, picking up a phone to call someone and ask for help.
You are worth it, and a role model waiting to blossom.
More importantly, however, is the fact that I am an addict in long-term recovery, approaching six years and four months clean.
It took a lot of pain and suffering - both that I experienced myself and caused others - to finally get me to change my ways.
But once I finally decided to seek recovery from alcohol, drugs and gambling on October 31, 2007, my life has continued to get immeasurably better.
I know I have a disease, and that there is no cure, so I must remain vigilant every single day of my life and make sure to never get overconfident or complacent, because that is an easy way to relapse.
I am also extremely aware that this disease doesn't discriminate, and whether you are a college graduate, like I am, or a homeless person sleeping in the subway, addiction will destroy your life the same way regardless.
So, how does one rationalize it when a person who seemingly has it all - most recently, actor Philip Seymour Hoffman - succumbs to this disease by way of an overdose?
Well, I am certainly not a doctor, but just a guy from Brooklyn, New York, who has seen a lot in his 52 plus years on this planet, and, for me, at least, it all comes down to self-esteem and self-confidence.
Even though I was an A student, who went on to earn a college degree in journalism and then worked for many prestigious companies in the media industry, it wasn't until 1998 - the year I got arrested for robbery, due to my past addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling, and was ultimately sentenced to seven years in prison - that I finally decided to spend time being introspective and come to terms with why I was drinking, using drugs and gambling.
I simply wasn't happy who I was, or, as many people call it, "comfortable in my own skin."
Knowing I wasn't going anywhere until 2004 at the earliest, barring a successful criminal appeal, (which was not meant to be, and I served just under six years), I decided to put my thoughts down on paper, and wrote Jew in Jail.
http://www.jewinjail.com/
The therapeutic value was something I had no idea would end up being so priceless to this day, as it was the impetus for all of the good things that have happened since my release from prison.
I am now the president of the alumni committee at the Coney Island Hospital Chemical Dependency Program, and am also on several committees with the New York State Office Of Alcoholism And Substance Abuse Services.
I have returned to Rikers Island to speak to the detainees there and help spread the message of recovery, and since I didn't have a number on my shirt this time around, I was treated much better by the staff!
By being connected to OASAS, doors have opened, including getting invited to travel the country to attend National Recovery Day, as well as speaking to prisoners at other correctional facilities too.
http://youtu.be/dE4DFCbXRF4
The bottom line, in my recovery and from what I have learned by speaking and attending Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous meetings, is that the only way to remain clean is by sharing the message of recovery and hope with others.
Keeping things bottled up inside for so long, thinking that my problems were unique to me, was a huge mistake.
I have so much gratitude for where I am in my life now, and owe it all to not only the great people I have met along the way, but to my own determination and desire to finally change and stop beating myself up about my past.
As for addicts like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Cory Monteith, Whitney Houston, and all of the others who have perished too soon, it just goes to show that being a wealthy celebrity is no guarantee for happiness.
We are all humans, with feelings, emotions, desires and needs.
Being labeled a recovering addict doesn't bother me one bit.
Life is way too short to care what others think of me.
If you are a recovering addict, I hope you realize the great decision you made to seek treatment.
If you are still "out there" dealing with the insanity that comes with using, please consider going to a meeting or, at the very least, picking up a phone to call someone and ask for help.
You are worth it, and a role model waiting to blossom.
Seven Years Clean & Counting!
Today I celebrate seven years clean and sober!
However, to be perfectly honest, I really do not feel like it should be a celebration of any sort.
Rather, I have always contended that I should always be free from alcohol and drugs, and, therefore, this day, like any other, is the norm!
After all, I had a fine upbringing from my parents, enjoyed a happy childhood, earned a college degree in journalism, and became successful in the business world
Ending up addicted to alcohol and drugs, namely pain pills, was a result of some obviously unintended medical circumstances and poor lapses in judgment.
But, to this day, I take full responsibility for the consequences that followed, which included nearly six years behind bars, in addition to trips to psychiatric hospitals, emergency rooms, and a time living on the street as a homeless person.
I am sure anyone reading this now would argue that my being clean seven years is a big deal, but, again, I have always been my own worse enemy and harshest critic.
If there is one thing I can admit to being proud of, it's the fact that I have been very resourceful in life, and
have fought hard to overcome any obstacles that have come my way - most, if not all of which were through
my own doing.
In addition, what I have learned over these past seven years of going to many Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous Meetings, as well as delivering motivational & inspirational speeches, is that the significance of my time being clean & sober is that it can, and hopefully will help other addicts in recovery to see they can get better too.
I know that, no matter what one has done in his or her past, recovery and a positive, productive life are possible.
To that extent, if there is ever anything I can do to help another recovering addict, or anyone not living up to their full potential in life, I will continue to be there at a moment's notice.
In the meantime, if you haven’t read my book, “Jew in Jail” yet, I strongly urge you to do so.
http://goo.gl/NFWoQ6
It tells the story of how I was finally able to decide to turn my life around from my past addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling, under the worst conditions imaginable of being a minority behind bars.
In addition, I also invite all of you to check out this speech I delivered in October of 2012 to a group of inmates who graduated from a drug program at a jail in Richmond, Virginia, to demonstrate again that, regardless of one’s past, it is possible to overcome any difficulty and go on to lead a productive, positive and successful life.
http://youtu.be/dE4DFCbXRF4
Until next time, everyone, take good care of yourselves and each other, and look for my next post very soon!
However, to be perfectly honest, I really do not feel like it should be a celebration of any sort.
Rather, I have always contended that I should always be free from alcohol and drugs, and, therefore, this day, like any other, is the norm!
After all, I had a fine upbringing from my parents, enjoyed a happy childhood, earned a college degree in journalism, and became successful in the business world
Ending up addicted to alcohol and drugs, namely pain pills, was a result of some obviously unintended medical circumstances and poor lapses in judgment.
But, to this day, I take full responsibility for the consequences that followed, which included nearly six years behind bars, in addition to trips to psychiatric hospitals, emergency rooms, and a time living on the street as a homeless person.
I am sure anyone reading this now would argue that my being clean seven years is a big deal, but, again, I have always been my own worse enemy and harshest critic.
If there is one thing I can admit to being proud of, it's the fact that I have been very resourceful in life, and
have fought hard to overcome any obstacles that have come my way - most, if not all of which were through
my own doing.
In addition, what I have learned over these past seven years of going to many Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous Meetings, as well as delivering motivational & inspirational speeches, is that the significance of my time being clean & sober is that it can, and hopefully will help other addicts in recovery to see they can get better too.
I know that, no matter what one has done in his or her past, recovery and a positive, productive life are possible.
To that extent, if there is ever anything I can do to help another recovering addict, or anyone not living up to their full potential in life, I will continue to be there at a moment's notice.
In the meantime, if you haven’t read my book, “Jew in Jail” yet, I strongly urge you to do so.
http://goo.gl/NFWoQ6
It tells the story of how I was finally able to decide to turn my life around from my past addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling, under the worst conditions imaginable of being a minority behind bars.
In addition, I also invite all of you to check out this speech I delivered in October of 2012 to a group of inmates who graduated from a drug program at a jail in Richmond, Virginia, to demonstrate again that, regardless of one’s past, it is possible to overcome any difficulty and go on to lead a productive, positive and successful life.
http://youtu.be/dE4DFCbXRF4
Until next time, everyone, take good care of yourselves and each other, and look for my next post very soon!
