Estelle Ryan's Blog - Posts Tagged "attraction"
SEXY Body Language!
“There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip,
Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out
At every joint and motive of her body.” - Shakespeare
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Oh, if only we knew all the secrets we revealed with our body language! One of those secrets is our attraction to someone else. Research has only confirmed what we already know – our entire body changes when we are in close proximity of someone we like, are attracted to or want to impress with our sensuality/sexuality.
Think about it for a moment. You’re walking down the street (doesn’t matter if you’re married, old, overweight, plain or a supermodel) and a very attractive man/woman walks towards you. What do you do? Well, the first thing men AND women do is suck in the belly and lift the chest. Of course for women that has an even more beneficial effect – pulling the eyes to one of the ‘hot zones’.
Say it is a little more intimate than a simple ‘pass by’ on the street. You are at a dinner party and are attracted to a newcomer. With every movement your body will convey your availability, enthusiasm, sexiness, readiness or even desperation. Both men and women would want to impress the other person with their suitability as a partner. Just a few posture changes and you will appear healthier, younger, livelier … and available.
Men will push out their jaw and stand taller to appear more dominant. A woman will do anything and everything to bring attention to her chest, she will touch her hair and show her wrists in a show of submission. At least this is what the books and years of research and observation say. As a strong-minded, independent woman, I find that just a little cave-man, but hey… we can’t fight our limbic responses. Our limbic brain is the part of the brain that reacts to the world around us – it’s reflexive, spontaneous, without thought or premeditation. And yes, I’m sure I’ve flashed my independent wrists at some gorgeous hunk a time or eight.
Well, us women are much more complicated than men – a fact that has (unnecessarily) been proven a gazillion times. To emphasise this point: Women has on average 14 areas in her brain dedicated to communication. Men? 4-6. This is why women can hold three different conversations at the same time. Men only one. Women are also much more proficient at reading nonverbal cues than men. It has been proven, however, that men in caring professions such as doctors, psychologists, etc., become even more proficient than the average woman.
In my next post I will neatly list the typical nonverbal cues you will see in a woman attracted to a man and the male equivalent. Always handy in case the 14 (for women) or 4-6 (for men) communication areas in your brain fail to interpret the signals correctly. Until then, keep sucking in those bellies!!
Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out
At every joint and motive of her body.” - Shakespeare
[image error]
"Oh, if only we knew all the secrets we revealed with our body language! One of those secrets is our attraction to someone else. Research has only confirmed what we already know – our entire body changes when we are in close proximity of someone we like, are attracted to or want to impress with our sensuality/sexuality.
Think about it for a moment. You’re walking down the street (doesn’t matter if you’re married, old, overweight, plain or a supermodel) and a very attractive man/woman walks towards you. What do you do? Well, the first thing men AND women do is suck in the belly and lift the chest. Of course for women that has an even more beneficial effect – pulling the eyes to one of the ‘hot zones’.
Say it is a little more intimate than a simple ‘pass by’ on the street. You are at a dinner party and are attracted to a newcomer. With every movement your body will convey your availability, enthusiasm, sexiness, readiness or even desperation. Both men and women would want to impress the other person with their suitability as a partner. Just a few posture changes and you will appear healthier, younger, livelier … and available.
Men will push out their jaw and stand taller to appear more dominant. A woman will do anything and everything to bring attention to her chest, she will touch her hair and show her wrists in a show of submission. At least this is what the books and years of research and observation say. As a strong-minded, independent woman, I find that just a little cave-man, but hey… we can’t fight our limbic responses. Our limbic brain is the part of the brain that reacts to the world around us – it’s reflexive, spontaneous, without thought or premeditation. And yes, I’m sure I’ve flashed my independent wrists at some gorgeous hunk a time or eight.
Well, us women are much more complicated than men – a fact that has (unnecessarily) been proven a gazillion times. To emphasise this point: Women has on average 14 areas in her brain dedicated to communication. Men? 4-6. This is why women can hold three different conversations at the same time. Men only one. Women are also much more proficient at reading nonverbal cues than men. It has been proven, however, that men in caring professions such as doctors, psychologists, etc., become even more proficient than the average woman.
In my next post I will neatly list the typical nonverbal cues you will see in a woman attracted to a man and the male equivalent. Always handy in case the 14 (for women) or 4-6 (for men) communication areas in your brain fail to interpret the signals correctly. Until then, keep sucking in those bellies!!
SEXIER Body Language
As promised in my last post, I will list the most common nonverbal cues you can observe while some serious flirting is going on.
Women:
o Self-Touching
Okay, I just HAD to headline it with that word! It sounds so … um … well, you know! But it is not like that. In this specific context I’m referring to us women being very sensitive to touch. When a woman is flirting, she will sensually stroke her throat, neck or thigh. Oh all right, it is kinda like that, but it’s much more appropriate for public places.
o The Hair Flick
Even when women don’t have long hair, they flick it. This is usually the first display of interest. This action puts on display what is available to the man who had caught her attention. It also shows her neck which is another sign of submission. And again I have to voice my independent-modern-woman distress at that thought. Have I shown my neck to men? Have I? I shudder at the thought!
o Wrists
In my previous post I mentioned that women show their wrists in a display of submission. That is not the only way we do it. We also suffer from limp-wrist syndrome when we flirt! This makes us more attractive to the man because we appear weak and he gets the impression that he can dominate. Good grief! Could someone please remove my limbic brain!! Deep, calming breaths. Okay. These are very safe generalizations since it comes from years of the experts studying such behaviour.
o Fondling a Cylindrical Object
I just can’t help myself tonight!! I’m having such a good giggle writing this. But yes, Allan and Barbara Pease, the experts who have written many books on body language actually used the word ‘Fondling’ too!! It could be the stem of a wine glass, a cigarette or a dangling earring. Why? Well, what do you think she has on her mind?!?!
Men:
Well, this is where the cave man comes in, grabs me by my flicked hair and drags me off to his cave while I wave my limp wrists about. No, seriously. Just as men have fewer communication areas in the brain processing nonverbal cues (as mentioned in the previous post), they also have very limited flirty body language.
o The Crotch
Yep, this is pretty much it. They will adjust their belts slightly to draw your attention to what they have to offer in the cylindrical department. They will hook their thumbs in the waistband or pockets, framing their, um, offerings with their hands. They will spread their legs in an even more aggressive display. Not very subtle, these Y-chromosomed humans.
To be fair, you will see interest by:
* a flush in their cheeks,
* dilated pupils,
* the focus being only on you, not other available wrist-flapping, wineglass fondling gals,
* the man putting his arm behind you (it’s territorial display),
* feet mirroring yours, pointing towards you
* if he is a modern man, he will most definitely show interest in your life, work, hobbies – they have after all evolved enough to understand the importance of talking.
There is so much more, but I don’t want to make this post longer than this. In my next post I will continue this theme and will look into the men’s preferences for bums, boobs, legs or women’s preferences for shoulders, chest and arms.
What can you add to these lists? What have you done while flirting, or observed the other person do?
The authors I referred to above is Allan & Barbara Pease, the book:
The Definitive Book of Body Language
The (not so) SEXIEST body language
This has taken me a wee bit longer than planned to continue this conversation about sexy body language. The last two weeks have been busy, lazy, up, down, warm, cold, late, early – a mixture of everything that made my head spin.
No matter how diverse my days/weeks are, there is always time to observe people and marvel at how strange we all are. Of course I am normal, it is everyone else who is extremely strange! The older I get, the more I learn, the more I observe, the more obvious it becomes to me that we are not by far as sophisticated as we would like to believe. At the end of the day our needs, our behaviour and also our body language conveys the simplest of our needs.
Love is not as simple a need as we would like to believe. Sex and procreation comes before that. Unfortunately. And that is how the most basic part of our brains evaluates potential partners. Whether they would be good breeding mates. Ugh! Where are the violins, soft candle light, sunsets and need for soul mates? Nope, our very first attraction comes from a much less romantic point.
For men it would be a woman who would be a good breeder. Larger buttocks is a huge plus – pun intended. Why? Well, just like camels we store extra padding there for hungry days and fat for breastfeeding. The same goes for legs. Men prefer legs with a little (not a lot) extra, for the same fat-storing, breastfeeding reasons. Sexy, right? Not! Talking about breasts – now that is a very obvious attraction point. Most women have stories about men talking to their cleavages and not even looking at their faces. Men highly dislike winter. It is the time when they have the least visual pleasure! When a woman in interested in a man, it is very likely that she will lean forward, bring her arms closer to her body to push her breasts in and up. Giving the man great visual pleasure. And a clear sign of interest.
Women, in our most basic non-Hollywood, non-romantic brain, are looking for strength. Think caveman. I’m shaking my modern, independent head at this. But it is true. We are attracted to broad shoulders and chests, muscular arms, tight buns and muscular legs. The shoulders, chests and arms are for hunting and protecting with heavy weapons (read clubs). The tight buns? Required for efficient and strong forward thrusting. Yes, you did read it. And yes, I did write it. But this is where our basic attraction comes from. Women are looking for strength in their providers and protectors, men are looking for breeders. Cue the Flintstones music!
Oh wait!! I’ve just looked at the original title of this post and I totally disagree with myself on this post. What I’ve just written is the complete opposite of sexy, never mind SEXIEST!! I apologise profusely. I amended the title and chose the image accordingly. Since this is fun information, I’ll leave this post with the promise to have a follow up on something much more worthy of Hollywood.
No matter how diverse my days/weeks are, there is always time to observe people and marvel at how strange we all are. Of course I am normal, it is everyone else who is extremely strange! The older I get, the more I learn, the more I observe, the more obvious it becomes to me that we are not by far as sophisticated as we would like to believe. At the end of the day our needs, our behaviour and also our body language conveys the simplest of our needs.
Love is not as simple a need as we would like to believe. Sex and procreation comes before that. Unfortunately. And that is how the most basic part of our brains evaluates potential partners. Whether they would be good breeding mates. Ugh! Where are the violins, soft candle light, sunsets and need for soul mates? Nope, our very first attraction comes from a much less romantic point.
For men it would be a woman who would be a good breeder. Larger buttocks is a huge plus – pun intended. Why? Well, just like camels we store extra padding there for hungry days and fat for breastfeeding. The same goes for legs. Men prefer legs with a little (not a lot) extra, for the same fat-storing, breastfeeding reasons. Sexy, right? Not! Talking about breasts – now that is a very obvious attraction point. Most women have stories about men talking to their cleavages and not even looking at their faces. Men highly dislike winter. It is the time when they have the least visual pleasure! When a woman in interested in a man, it is very likely that she will lean forward, bring her arms closer to her body to push her breasts in and up. Giving the man great visual pleasure. And a clear sign of interest.
Women, in our most basic non-Hollywood, non-romantic brain, are looking for strength. Think caveman. I’m shaking my modern, independent head at this. But it is true. We are attracted to broad shoulders and chests, muscular arms, tight buns and muscular legs. The shoulders, chests and arms are for hunting and protecting with heavy weapons (read clubs). The tight buns? Required for efficient and strong forward thrusting. Yes, you did read it. And yes, I did write it. But this is where our basic attraction comes from. Women are looking for strength in their providers and protectors, men are looking for breeders. Cue the Flintstones music!
Oh wait!! I’ve just looked at the original title of this post and I totally disagree with myself on this post. What I’ve just written is the complete opposite of sexy, never mind SEXIEST!! I apologise profusely. I amended the title and chose the image accordingly. Since this is fun information, I’ll leave this post with the promise to have a follow up on something much more worthy of Hollywood.
