As promised in my last post, I will list the most common nonverbal cues you can observe while some serious flirting is going on.
Okay, I just HAD to headline it with that word! It sounds so … um … well, you know! But it is not like that. In this specific context I’m referring to us women being very sensitive to touch. When a woman is flirting, she will sensually stroke her throat, neck or thigh. Oh all right, it is kinda like that, but it’s much more appropriate for public places.
o The Hair Flick
Even when women don’t have long hair, they flick it. This is usually the first display of interest. This action puts on display what is available to the man who had caught her attention. It also shows her neck which is another sign of submission. And again I have to voice my independent-modern-woman distress at that thought. Have I shown my neck to men? Have I? I shudder at the thought!
In my previous post I mentioned that women show their wrists in a display of submission. That is not the only way we do it. We also suffer from limp-wrist syndrome when we flirt! This makes us more attractive to the man because we appear weak and he gets the impression that he can dominate. Good grief! Could someone please remove my limbic brain!! Deep, calming breaths. Okay. These are very safe generalizations since it comes from years of the experts studying such behaviour.
o Fondling a Cylindrical Object
I just can’t help myself tonight!! I’m having such a good giggle writing this. But yes, Allan and Barbara Pease, the experts who have written many books on body language actually used the word ‘Fondling’ too!! It could be the stem of a wine glass, a cigarette or a dangling earring. Why? Well, what do you think she has on her mind?!?!
Well, this is where the cave man comes in, grabs me by my flicked hair and drags me off to his cave while I wave my limp wrists about. No, seriously. Just as men have fewer communication areas in the brain processing nonverbal cues (as mentioned in the previous post), they also have very limited flirty body language.
o The Crotch
Yep, this is pretty much it. They will adjust their belts slightly to draw your attention to what they have to offer in the cylindrical department. They will hook their thumbs in the waistband or pockets, framing their, um, offerings with their hands. They will spread their legs in an even more aggressive display. Not very subtle, these Y-chromosomed humans.
To be fair, you will see interest by:
* a flush in their cheeks,
* dilated pupils,
* the focus being only on you, not other available wrist-flapping, wineglass fondling gals,
* the man putting his arm behind you (it’s territorial display),
* feet mirroring yours, pointing towards you
* if he is a modern man, he will most definitely show interest in your life, work, hobbies – they have after all evolved enough to understand the importance of talking.
There is so much more, but I don’t want to make this post longer than this. In my next post I will continue this theme and will look into the men’s preferences for bums, boobs, legs or women’s preferences for shoulders, chest and arms.
What can you add to these lists? What have you done while flirting, or observed the other person do?
The authors I referred to above is Allan & Barbara Pease, the book:
The Definitive Book of Body Language
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