Rebecca Jones-Howe's Blog, page 13

All the Books I Read in 2019

So this is a post that I always look forward to from Jules Archer, the good old compilation post of all the books one has read all year. Hopefully she won’t mind that I’m stealing it. Here are all the books I read in 2019.

I gotta that that I’m proud of myself. My entire adult life has been plagued with a severe lack of reading, and it’s only been the last couple years that my love of books has finally returned. You know what ignited it? Physical books. Real books. pages. Smells.

THE USED BOOKSTORE!

A lot of the books I read in 2019 came from the used bookstore. God, I went to so many book stores and book sales and thrift shops. I felt like a teenager again.

How many books did I read in 2019?

I read 30 books in 2019. Not amazing but also pretty good. Def not the 97 books that I overhead some young dude bragging to his friends about while I was at work once. Like c’mom people. Stop hating on Gen Z for being too addicted to their phones. They’re still reading. Maybe get inspired.

The list



The House Swap – Rebeccca Fleet The Water Cure – Sophie Mackintosh Follow Me Down – Sherri Smith The Vanishing – Wendy Webb Bound In Moonlight – Louisa Burton Harmless – James Grainger The Bricks that Built the Houses – Kate Tempest House of Dark Delights – Louisa Burton When Everything Feels like the Movies – Raziel Reid Into the Water – Paula Hawkins Inside – Alix Ohlin The Communist Manifesto – Karl Marx Bellevue Square – Michael Redhill Thirteen – Susie Moloney Stranger, Father, Beloved – Taylor Larsen Dawn – V.C. Andrews Cinnamon – V.C. Andrews Ice – V.C. Andrews Autumn – Ali Smith Rose – V.C. Andrews Honey – V.C. Andrews Falling Stars – V.C. Andrews Secrets of the Morning – V.C. Andrews Twilight’s Child – V.C. Andrews Midnight Whispers – V.C. Andrews Darkest Hour – V.C. Andrews Temptation – Leda Swann Lady Chatterley’s Lover – D.H. Lawrence Heaven – V.C. Andrews Dark Angel – V.C. Andrews



Genres

Lemme delve a bit into the genres I read, because what a writer reads ultimately becomes an influence. I like to think that I read myself onto different branches in 2019, but yeah, I realize that my original realization isn’t quite so.

Trash Lit

Okay, so a bulk of what I read was V.C. Andrews, which is all fine and good because trashy books are an easy way to amp up your book count. They’re quick and fun and honestly, at this point, I can say that I totally get it. I’m a mom. I’m closer to middle-age than I am my youth. I need a better escape than a high-brow award-ridden book about a middle-class mother having an affair and learning bout life or whatever.

[image error]Amp up your reading count with this SIMPLE TRUCK!



Thrillers

Okay, so like any adult woman, I do love me a good psychological thriller. Since Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train, however, finding a really good one proves to be quite the difficult task. So yeah, I settled for some lackluster affairs. They’re all the damn same now and it’s absolutely frustrating to pick up the book and read the phrase “X lives a perfect life” somewhere in the synopsis.

This year, I read only 3 thrillers and none of them were really standouts. Of course, I was excited to read Paula Hawkins’ Into the Water, but well, like many fans of The Girl on the Train, I gotta admit that this book suffered from some hardcore sophmore slump.

Literary

I once thought my work fell into this category but it doesn’t. Literary fiction can be tough for me, man. Like, the summary sounds great on the back but then I get halfway in and it pretty much just feels like a bunch of scenes happening for no real reason. Then I gotta check the summary again and there’s always that tell-tale giveaway when the summary tells you what it’s about, like a guiding light:

Three-time Ponce Gold Prestigious Gold Award Nominee Highbrow McWriterface’s flowery prose expands pages and pages of nothing, weaving a myriad of endless sentences that span the reality of the loss of time.

And I’m like oooooh, okay! I kind of get it.

Kate Tempest is a spoken work performer and a poet. She crafts her sentences well. Honestly, I’d recommend The Bricks that Built the Houses. Stuff does happen but it takes time to happen and a time it is difficult to follow. As for Ali Smith’s Autumn, I dunno. I love Smith’s voice, but for a book about the turbulent time of Brexit, I found it hard to really pinpoint the heart of the story.

I liked Taylor Larsen’s Stranger, Father, Beloved, though. The end felt a bit flat but the journey was fun.

Canadian Lit

I decided to put the Canadian books in their own section. Reading my own country’s literate IS important and I’ve neglected it for quite some time. CanLit has always manged to rub me the wrong way. I realize now that my bias was showing.

I quite liked all the Canadian books I read this year. My standout is Raziel Reid’s When Everything Feels Like the Movies, which I did also recommend in my last ill-fated “Have Read” column. It’s the CanLit I always wanted to read when I was 18. He has another book, Kens (a twist on Heathers!) which I plan on hunting down this year, plus another novel forthcoming.

James Grainger’s Harmless wasn’t an A+ but I appreciated its craziness.

Alix Ohlin’s Inside was touching, though one of the character’s perspectives fell a bit flat by the end.

I’d wanted to read Michael Redhill’s critically acclaimed Bellevue Square for quite some time just for its summary. The reviews on Goodreads definitely clash with the critic opinion but I did enjoy it. Real stuff happened. I wanted to read it. I loved the character’s voice. Was I confused by the end? Heck yes. Was it a good thing? Not entirely, but it’s a solid literary read.

Erotica

I read 3 erotica books. I quite like erotica, though finding good erotica proves a difficult task for me. Louisa Burton’s books are like my ideal. Victorian-esque but also modern. Each of her books contain 3-4 smaller stories, so her writing contains only what needs to be there.

Leda Swann’s Temptation contained some nice prose, yet the sex scenes quickly got repetitive, and by the book’s end the plot was pretty much a parody, but whateves.

Non-Fiction

I read The Communist Manifesto. I need to read more non-fiction but these books take me a lot of time to get through. Because I’m a mom. I’ve got kids. Complicated ideas are difficult to focus on. I could invest in one of those book summarizing services but if that’s the case I’d rather just listen to podcasts.

Currently I’m listening to The Dream and it. is. so. good.

2020 Goals

So that’s my 2019 reading list. 30 books ain’t bad. But what are my reading plans for 2020?

Read more indie authors (friends)Read more Canadian literatureRead at least 35 booksBrand out in genreRead at least TWO non-fiction books



What about you?

How many books did you read in 2019? Is that more or less than you usually read? Any standout books? What are your reading goals for 2020?

Also, recommend me ONE book that you think I might like.

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A LOOK BACK: Tourist

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Happy 2020: A New Look, My Patreon + More!

I’m back , everyone! The holidays were meant for relaxation and family time, but I spent a bulk of it updating my website. As much as I loved my old theme, it was growing dated and the designer seemed to have gone defunct. It was also slow and lacking certain integration, so I bought me a new one.

Gone is the blog from my homepage. Now it’s a bit buried (which bums me out) but I’m an author first and a blogger second and this website needs a more professional feel to it.

First off, I’ve got my main menu on the very top and my writing menu beneath the site header. So yeah, feel free to buy VILE MEN even though I won’t make a penny off of it. Hopefully I’ll be able to whore out another book that I can actually profit from soon, but in the meantime…

My Patreon is Up!

Right now I only have two tiers. The $2 Tip Jar, and my $5 Side Hustle, which gives you access to my monthly exclusive short stories and Patron-only blog posts.

I’ll be wrapping up my maternity leave at the end of March and going back to my retail job, so I need to keep things simple. I have other tiers in mind, plus ideas for rewards that I would love to integrate, such as audio recordings of me reading my work, story critiques for writers.

Anything you would like to see? Let me know in the comments, please!

With my novel sitting in an agent’s “to-read” pile and my dedication building, I feel like I NEED to dedicate 2020 to the people who have followed this little career of mine. it’s been a long time since I’ve had a story published, so this year I’m publishing stories for the people who want them most.

January’s story, “Hostages” is ready! Join my Patron for $5 a month and get reading my modern gothic horror set in Whistler, British Columbia. Once you’ve joined, you’ll get access to the Patreon Exclusives portion of my website. You’ll be able to read the story online or download ebook versions to take on the go.

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Happy 2020: A New Look, My Patreon, + More!

I’m back , everyone! The holidays were meant for relaxation and family time, but I spent a bulk of it updating my website. As much as I loved my old theme, it was growing dated and the designer seemed to have gone defunct. It was also slow and lacking certain integration, so I bought me a new one.

Gone is the blog from my homepage. Now it’s a bit buried (which bums me out) but I’m an author first and a blogger second and this website needs a more professional feel to it.

First off, I’ve got my main menu on the very top and my writing menu beneath the site header. So yeah, feel free to buy VILE MEN even though I won’t make a penny off of it. Hopefully I’ll be able to whore out another book that I can actually profit from soon, but in the meantime…

My Patreon is Up!

Right now I only have two tiers. The $2 Tip Jar, and my $5 Side Hustle, which gives you access to my monthly exclusive short stories and Patron-only blog posts.

I’ll be wrapping up my maternity leave at the end of March and going back to my retail job, so I need to keep things simple. I have other tiers in mind, plus ideas for rewards that I would love to integrate, such as audio recordings of me reading my work, story critiques for writers.

Anything you would like to see? Let me know in the comments, please!

With my novel sitting in an agent’s “to-read” pile and my dedication building, I feel like I NEED to dedicate 2020 to the people who have followed this little career of mine. it’s been a long time since I’ve had a story published, so this year I’m publishing stories for the people who want them most.

January’s story, “Hostages” is ready! Join my Patron for $5 a month and get reading my modern gothic horror set in Whistler, British Columbia. Once you’ve joined, you’ll get access to the Patreon Exclusives portion of my website. You’ll be able to read the story online or download ebook versions to take on the go.

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MOODBOARD: “Hostages” Short Story

I should be rewriting a story I wrote a couple years ago but here I am procrastinating. It’s not all a loss, however, as my procrastination finds me penning this new blog post. What have I been doing the last couple weeks? I wrote a dang short story! It’s called “Hostages” and you’ll be able to read it sooner rather than later because it’s going to be the first story I put on up Patreon in January.

“Hostages” is a modern gothic horror set in Whistler, British Columbia (based off the prompt I shared last week). I have always been a fan of Whistler, despite the fact that I don’t ski or snowboard or do any winter sports at all. (Although I did recently go curling a couple weeks ago and it was rad.)

[image error]

“Hostages” is pretty much a modern gothic horror story about PTSD. If you like the stories in VILE MEN, you’ll love this one. It’s moody and erotic. It will aggravate your SADS. But if you’re like me and you like festering in moodiness, then this story will go right up your alley.

I’m really trying to mature my work by tapering back on some of the sex in my writing, but hey, I know that’s part of its appeal. That’s why you’ve been reading it, right?

So I’m keeping the sex and the tension but I’m diluting it to a more literary degree. I hate calling it “literary” because literary sex scenes are kind of dull. Then again, I can hear Richard Thomas telling me to read more Mary Gaitskill (who def knows how to write some literary sex). I know what my field is and I can stick to it.

It’s less pornographic but it’s there. The tension is there. The female-driven sexual energy (which is oft still so under-represented in literature) is there.

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Lastly, I guess I should mention the horror. I’ve tried plenty of times to pen a decent horror story. At times I’ve failed. At times I’ve succeeded. VILE MEN has three horror-esque stories. “Ghost Story” is obvs a ghost story. “Better Places” falls in the zombie story category. And I suppose “Grin on the Rocks” is a realist horror in that’s it’s a story about a man who will eventually become a serial rapist.

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But this is where “gothic horror” comes in. It’s one of the elements that I’ve loved about V.C. Andrews. Her work isn’t even inherently “horror”. According to this post that I love and share all the time, Andrews’ “horror” categorization was entirely a marketing gimmick to get women to buy horror books.

In a way it’s insulting, but I have to think, “Why the hell not?” Freaky stuff happens in every V.C. Andrews book. The melodrama hits soap opera levels of high at several points, but the settings are always characters and the family secrets reveal shocks that keep you reading. Handsome strangers drift in and out. Most of them have sinister motives. Some of them are nice but their presence always reveals more secrets. That’s horror, baby.

Is it good horror, though? Well, that’s subjective.

For a couple of years I’ve wanted to write a collection of stories called “Northern Gothic”, which would contain gothic horror stories that take place in Canada. I suppose this is the first of what will hopefully be many.

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I’ll be publishing “Hostages” as an exclusive story for subscribers of my Patreon, which I will be releasing in January. I’ll be writing a story a month and this tier will be $5.00 per month. Is it too much? I’m trying to be fair to my labour here (because next year I’m gonna be juggling my writing with my real job), but I’d love your opinion on this.

The stories I plan on making exclusive will vary in length but will always be of my standard quality. No throw-away plots. Just solid stuff. “Hostages” is 5000 words and is something I would easily send out to magazines, but I’m trying to attempt something new here.

I know I have fans out there and I want to cater some stuff for you. I want to try something new.

Questions:



Is $5.00 a month too much? I do have other tiers but the exclusive stories will be provided for $5.00. Would you be more likely to support for $3.00?Do you read my work for the sex? Or is it something else?What are your goals for not just the new year, but the new decade?

IMAGE CREDITS:

Village with Snow: Kris Arnold | Whistler Ski Lift: Ebowalker | Red Cable Car: Yin Yin Low | Blackcomb Mountain: bnunesc | Icy Covered Pine Trees: h_m | Crystal: alusruvi | Woman: Free-Photos | Crying Man: StockSnap

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WRITING PROMPT 001

Seeking out writing prompts online infuriates me. I loathe them. They suck. They fail to inspire. So I head to another website and find another writing prompt, and SURPRISE, it also sucks.

It never works out.

One thing I loved about WAR was the mix of prompts tossed my way. They varied. Our writing prompts were songs, videos, pictures. I buried them deep. A picture became a jigsaw puzzle. A song lyric referenced a cab, and so I set my story exclusively in a taxi. This prompt inspired “The Paper Bag Princess” and I buried it in a cheesy ironic t-shirt.

Wanna write with me?

After discussing writing prompts with Emily Slaney in my previous post, I figured I could attempt to start a monthly prompt challenge. Each month I’ll toss you something that I’m currently utilizing for my Patreon-exclusive story.

So let’s get started!

Your December 2019 Writing Prompt

I give you this video of a man illegally base jumping of the Peak 2 Peak gondola in Whistler B.C.:

A Little Background

This event occurred back in February 2014, sparking a manhunt for the jumper. The woman in the video was apparently a worker in Whistler Village, and she attempted to convince the police that she was just a tourist. She was later charged with mischief. Police identified the jumper as base jumper Graham Dickinson. Whistler-Blackcomb claimed that $10,000 of damage was done to the gondola cabin.

Sadly, Dickenson died a few years later during a wingsuit stunt in China in 2017.

Get Writing!

Real-life stories inspire me more than anything else. I provided the above details to perhaps spark you. Take an avenue and get writing. Or bury the prompt as deep in your story as you can, which is my common prompt-approach. No base jumping is included in my WIP but you’ll just have to wait until my Patreon launches next year to find out.

So, have you been inspired to write?

Churn out a finished story by December 20th, 2019. I’ll read 3 of the stories I receive and give them a little dose of feedback.

*Details on how to send me the story to come!

Sound good? Get writing!

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UPDATE: Debut Novel, Vile Men, Patreon

Hello, readers! It’s been a while since I’ve gotten personal and provided updates on my writing, so here goes: I finished my novel. It’s def taken longer than I’d planned but I finally made those third-draft edits and saved a brand new file on my hard-drive:

TVFTB_FINAL.doc

Then, on Sunday night, I went even further and emailed the literary agent who emailed me nearly two years ago wondering if I had anything in the works that he could look at. I haven’t heard anything back, but it’s the week of US Thanksgiving and the rest of the holidays are coming up, so who knows, really.

So, with the book out of the way, I can begrudgingly focus on the following:

Patreon

I know I mentioned this a while back, but I still want to set myself up a method earning a side income. Once my daughter goes to school I’ll have to cut back my full-time job to part-time, and working part-time in the service industry can be a tough mess of shifts. I’m not looking forward to returning to work after my maternity leave is up but return to work I must.

I’m hoping that I can utilize my Patreon to make a few bucks to alleviate the stress of cutting my income back, while also using it to keep me motivated to write more.

In the coming weeks I’ll be writing more posts of my Patreon plan. Hopefully I can get some input from you, my lovely readers, as to what I can offer and a proper price for each tier.

Vile Men

Vile Men was great and gave me some name recognition in various literary communities. However, after Curbside Splendor went under, discussing this collection with people interested in my work is, uh, insanely awkward.

First off: It’s great to have published a book. It was a wonderful feeling to have friends and family and fans email me kind words. It’s what every author wants, but ultimately, being an author is a JOB, and if that recognition doesn’t earn me money, well, why am I sacrificing time for this?

A job isn’t to have people say, “YOU PUBLISHED A BOOK THAT’S SO GREAT!”

It’s to make money.

Secondly: It’s hard to put into words how powerless you feel as a writer when your work is essentially stolen. I have no idea how many actual copies of Vile Men have sold. It’s still on Amazon and still available for purchase at bookstore worldwide. I’m not making a single penny off those tales. The contract was never cancelled so I still have to wait another 6 years before I can try to publish the book elsewhere.

Thirdly: Sure, I could lawyer up but honestly, it just feels easier to let it go and move on. I’m just some middle-class POS who needs a new furnace instead of justice. It sucks but that’s just the way it is.

Short Stories

Now that my novel is off my mind and I can shrug away the cobwebs of Vile Men, I can go back to my bread and butter. It’s been ages since I last published a story, which was a bizarre kidnapping story centered around the 2016 election called, “Election Season”, published in Broad Knowledge: 35 Women Up to No Good.

So we’re going back. I need to write more that that’s a part of my plan for the new year. I’ll attempt to write two stories a month.

One will be for publishing in literary magazines.The other will be a super amazing Patreon-exclusive. These stories will stick to the Vile Men vibes you know and love. I’ll ask for prompts and write them out much like I did in the old LitReactor WAR days.



Mailing List

I cringe while doing this. I really don’t wanna spam people and I REALLY don’t want to make one of those pop-up ads asking you to enter your email but I have to. The social media gurus keep telling me to do it.

To test the waters, I have set up a new signup form on the sidebar. You can also be the first to join below:

This mailing list will only provide you with any updates specifically related to my writing career, so any new published stories, books, or Patreon updates will be sent directly to your inbox. Please consider subscribing, as a good email list is a great way to show potential agents and publishers that I have a good fanbase willing to read every word I churn out.

Any Feedback?

I’m really excited to dive into this next stage of my career. Next year will see me getting back into the swing of writing stories again. New projects motivate me, too, so I’m eager to get this Patreon on the road for next year.

Would you be willing to join my Patreon, and what sort of rewards would you like to see from me, other than the exclusive stories? AMA’s? Audio readings? Feedback on your own short stories? I’m hoping to set up something good that I can actually commit to so I’d love to hear what you think.

And lastly, GO AND SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST!

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MIDNIGHT WHISPERS – A Grown-Ass V.C. Andrews Review

We’re rolling along in the Cutler series. Midnight Whispers follows standard V.C. Andrews tradition, departing from Dawn’s narrative. Instead, we’re treated to a jam-packed book full of her daughter (and doppelganger) Christie. Will Christie live with the Cutler family curse, or is it all just sunshine and princess rainbows?

Well, this is a V.C. Andrews book, so of course not.

HAPPY AND INNOCENT, DAWN’S DAUGHTER CHRISTIE HAS GROWN UP IN THE SAFEST, MOST LOVING OF HOMES…

Yet Christie can’t help feeling as if a dark cloud hovers over Cutler’s Cove… a cloud whose origins lie in her family’s troubled history, and the many questions no one, not even Dawn, will answer. Only one person can always chase away her blues: Gavin, Daddy Jimmy’s young and handsome stepbrother.

Then, in one harsh night, Christie’s world is changed forever. She is shocked to discover her Uncle Philip’s unbrotherly love for her mother… but even worse is the way he now looks at Christie, his eyes bright with tortured passion. Fleeing to New York City, she finds her real father… a pathetic, helpless has-been. Desperate and heartbroken, she turns to Gavin, who travels with her to The Meadows, a plantation where Christie was born. In Gavin’s arms in the first, tender moments of true love, Christie finds a refuge from her painful memories. But The Meadows is blighted by its own dark secrets — and all too soon Christie is torn from Gavin’s embrace. Now as black storms of evil gather around her, Christie must struggle to break the cruel bonds of the past… to defy the curse that has haunted Cutler’s Cove for generations…

Good God Almighty, these back synopsis’ are getting long.

About the Book

In every V.C. Andrews family saga, the first three books follow the main protagonist, while the 4th serves as a denouement that typically follows the protagonist’s child (pretty much always a daughter that looks just like the mom). It’s convenient writing because the daughter always sounds exactly like the mom.

In this case, Christie does sound like Dawn, but I did notice one difference in that Christie frequently uses ALL CAPS in dialogue to convey outbursts. Case in point:

“You bitch,” she screamed after me. “You can’t welsh on a game of strip poker. You’ll be sorry… YOU’LL BE SORRY!”

Like, I use all caps for comedic effect, but in a novel it just looks tacky, and I wonder why Neiderman made this writing decision in this book and not the others.

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On the stepback, we’ve got Christie (sitting on a chair just like mommy did). Beside her is Gavin, and then her brother Jefferson. Left to right on the back we’ve got Fern, a very aged Uncle Philip, and Aunt Betty Ann.

My Copy

In my massive accumulation of V.C. Andrews books I’ve discovered that finding quality copies of earlier books (anything from the Landry series or before) is relatively difficult. Most of my books in the Cutler series were in decent shape. Midnight Whispers is my only Cutler book that has ZERO SPINE CREASES. The pages are still clean. Cover damage is minimal.

I took care of this copy. I marked pages with mini Post-It notes instead of folding the pages down. I didn’t open the cover wide. Unfortunately, when I took off the used bookstore price tag com the cover, however, it tore off some of the image.

Book Lovers, I know you feel my pain.









The Review

In my teens, I only ever read one of these “4th novels”, which was Hidden Jewel of the Landry series. It was so mediocre that I literally don’t remember anything about it. The Midnight Whispers synopsis does promise a lot and based on the bad reviews I was expecting a lot of horrible stuff to happen. Nevertheless, I was eager to start fresh with a new character and apply the V.C. Andrews standards to her story.

An Innocent & Pretty, Yet Completely Naive Female Protagonist

Christie Longchamp is not an exact copy of her mother, Dawn, oh no. She might be sweet and beautiful and blonde like her mother, but her secret special skill is playing piano. The books begins on Christie’s 16th birthday, where she wakes up in her dumb canopy princess floral dreamland bedroom and looks out her window at the ocean. Clouds line the sky and Christie expresses her displeasure:

I had so wanted to wake up to a morning filled with sunshine. I wanted the sea to sparkle as it had never sparkled before, and I wanted the sunlight to stream through the petals of the roses, the daffodils, the tulips and turn the leaves of the trees into a rich spring green.

What a great way to make readers like you, Christie. And you do this on the FIRST PAGE OF THE FIRST CHAPTER, right after your pointless prologue letter to your Auntie Trisha. I have to give her a bit of a break, though. Christie is a V.C. Andrews protagonist, after all.

Fortunately, Christie isn’t entirely hopeless. During the novel she stands up for herself and her brother, Jefferson, when required. She’s still clueless like Dawn and makes really stupid decisions like Dawn.

A Tragic Death

School ends for the years and Dawn, Jefferson, and her twin cousins Melanie and Richard come home to find the hotel on fire. Everyone gets out, save for Dawn and Jimmy, who the firefighters find dead in the basement where the fire started.

And honestly, I didn’t expect this. I know various V.C. Andrews protagonists die in other series’, but this is my first protagonist death and I uh… was a bit impacted. Dawn wasn’t a great character by any means, but I suffered through three books with her. Then she dies in a stupid fire.

A Hostile Maternal Figure (+ Bonus Mean Girl!)

Christie and Jefferson are placed in Uncle Philip’s care, and it’s pretty obvious where this plot goes. Uncle Philip and Aunt Bet move into the Longchamp house, taking over the rooms and casting away Jimmy and Dawn’s possessions.

Aunt Bet does a character 180, trading her sweet and naive persona in the aforementioned previous book and turning into a micro-managing clean freak. She establishes set times for meals, insists things be kept clean.

Then she and the twins gang up specifically on the already troubled Jefferson, blaming him for every little things that goes wrong in the house. Part of me loves how ridiculously neurotic Aunt Bet becomes, and the other part loves that her hostility gets Christie charged up.

In one scene when the twins blame Jefferson for getting mud in one of the bedrooms or something stupid like that, Christie defends her brother and threatens to set Richard on fire in his bed. This frightens Aunt Bet and she retaliates. Aunt Bet ALWAYS retaliates.

Aunt Bet also has a habit of pressing her lips tight together. She presses them so tight that they turn white, or she presses them so firmly that they look like a rubber band about to snap. There are NUMEROUS examples of this visual for the first hellish half of this book. And honestly, I know that every writer falls back on a certain turn of phrase (there are plenty of examples of “fingers flinching” in Vile Men), but once a writer takes notice, you’d think maybe they’d stop?

Not so with Andrew Neiderman! I doubt these books spend much time in the editing process, but damn, if this guy could evolve to some degree. (Spoilers for Darkest Hour: there are literally billions of tight lips in the final Cutler book.)

A Beloved Doting Paternal Figure

Uncle Philip started out as a gross fratty dudeboy who stalked after Christie’s mother in Dawn. Now he’s full-blown insane:

He smiles softly, his eyes two pools of tenderness, and then he kissed my forehead. “Poor, poor Christie,” he said, stroking my hair.

I relaxed. “It’s all right, Uncle Philip. Go get some sleep yourself. I’m fine,” I said. He continued to smile and stroke my hair lovingly.

“Dear, dear Christie. Lovely Christie, Dawn’s Christie. I remember the day she brought you back to the hotel. I told her not to worry that your real father had deserted you. I would always be a father to you too. And I will. I will,” he promised.

Christie worries about him to a certain degree, but never to the degree that she’s paranoid about her personal well-being. During the night, Christie head to the resort’s graveyard to talk to her parents. It’s there that she finds Uncle Philip, fawning over Dawn, apologizing for raping her vaguely enough that Christie doesn’t get it.

Even after this scene, when Uncle Philip walks in on Christie having a bath just so he can give her a gift. He opens the box in the room and holds up a sheer white lace nightgown.

“Isn’t it pretty?” he asked. He put his cheek against it. “It’s so soft and feminine, I couldn’t help but think of you when I touched it. Wear it tonight, especially after a bath. It will make you feel good,” he said.

“Thank you, Uncle Philip.”

“Will you wear it tonight?” he asked.

Christie fails to understand why Uncle Philip’s being so weird around her, even though she’s 16 and her mother’s already told her alllllll about sex and what it means. And I promise you, we’ll get to that conversation later on.

Later, Uncle Philip enters Christie’s room to talk to her about sex, as uncles do. This scene isn’t so much weird as it is a messed up character assessment of Philip’s character.

“But these feelings, these new desires, they they can confuse a young person so badly that he or she thinks he’s going mad sometimes.” He clutched at his chest and closed his eyes. “These feelings twist and torment you inside, making you feel as if you might explode if you don’t find relief. You want to touch something, feel something, press yourself against something that will… calm you down. Am I right? Is that what’s been happening to you?”

And well, of course all of this leads not to pie-fucking, but to Uncle Philip coming in and raping Christie. Great. Fantastic. This event occurs on page 226 of the book’s 440 pages, which means we wasted over half of the book on painstaking poorly-written orphan misery.

Oh, and also Christie’s grandmother, Laura Sue, (Dawn’s birth mother) dies at some point and a pointless funeral is had but nobody cares.

A Rags to Riches Plot

The bulk of this books’ turmoil comes in the form of Christie and Jefferson running away after the rape. It’s kind of a riches to rags plot because Christie steals money and they waste it on a bus trip to New York to find Christie’s real father. Christie wastes a bunch of coins calling all the Michael Sutton’s in New York so they can go and live with him.

Christie and Jefferson show up at Michael’s apartment only to discover that he isn’t doing so well:

I waited patiently for this scene (as it took up a bulk of the book’s synopsis on the back) but it took like five pages? Christie relays her biological relationship to Michael. She tells him about the fire that killed her parents, but Michael’s insistent that they can’t stay with him because he has no right to take custody of them. For once, he’s the smart one, but of course, he’s also gotta be a bit smarmy, too. He’s got problems with the IRS, see?

“After a few years, when you’re eighteen, or when you’ve gotten your inheritance, you’ll call me and I’ll come out,” he said, smiling. “Sure. We’ll have a real father-daughter relationship then, okay?”

Great. Greaaaaaaat.

Without any money left, Christie calls Gavin (her step-grandfather’s son and kind of brother?) and Gavin comes and saves the day.

A Vivid Gothic Setting

Most of Midnight Whispers takes place in the Longchamp house built in Twilight’s Child. Not so much a gothic setting as it is an ’80s mess that Aunt Bet spends much of her time fixing up with ’90s refreshments.

The later part takes us back to The Meadows, which is in an even more dilapidated state. Christie decides to head down there with the idea that nobody will know that they’re there. Aunt Charlotte and Luther give them rooms and they spend a few days in a weird form of bliss. Jefferson gets to help Aunt Charlotte paint random rooms in the house.

One night, Christie sees a shadow in the window, and in the coming days she sees a strange person in the house. That person is revealed to be a boy named Homer, who we later learn is Charlotte and Luthur’s son who we all believed was dead. Turns out he was just left in the woods by Emily. The neighbours adopted him, but now Homer spends his days at The Meadows because he likes it there?

He’s just another character in the background. He’s pointless. This whole plot is absolutely pointless except to maybe make the setting creepier?

Fantastic Psychological Horror

These 4th books are always pretty terrible. It’s like three books crammed into one novel of random soap drama woe. Christie and Gaven know that they can’t stay in The Meadows forever, so of course their fantasy world disappears around whem when cousin Fern shows up with some random dude to paaaaaarty.

Fern’s like the baddest bitch on the block, fucking dudes and drinking whiskey and calling Christie “princess” over and over because she’s mean and jealous and blah blah blah. Fern blackmails Christie into being her little servant so that she won’t tell Uncle Philip where they’re hiding.

One thing I love about Fern is that she tells Christie the truth about sex, unlike the pure drivel garbage that Dawn fed her back in the day (and we’ll get to that later). Then, of course, while Christie’s giving Fern a bath, she confesses that Uncle Philip raped her. Instead of BELIEVING WOMEN like she should, Fern confesses how jealous she is because she once tried to seduce Uncle Philip and he didn’t bone her back.

In the end, Jefferson gets sick from a cut he received from a nail. Christie asks Fern for help but of course, Fern’s pointless.Christie and Gavin fluster about trying to help Jefferson when he gets sicker, and it’s not until Luther recognizes the signs of tetanus that they decide to take him to the hospital.

LIKE WHY DIDN’T THEY ASK LUTHER FOR HEP IN THE FIRST PLACE. WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN IDIOT, CHRISTIE?! WHY DO YOU HAVE NO POWER OF DEDUCTION AND RATIONAL THOUGHT?!

SO yeah, they end up having to ask Uncle Philip for help and head back to Cutler’s Cove.

Incest!

While Christie’s relationship with Gavin isn’t exactly incest, it’s weird. I think they’re step-siblings? I can’t figure it out. Dawn married her not-bio-bother Jimmy . Jimmy is Christie’s step-dad and Jimmy’s dad Ormond is Christie’s step-grandfather, who is also Gavin’s dad. So Gavin’s her step-uncle? I’m so confused.

Either way, nobody mentions anything of their courtship but I still found their bond a bit odd and also, boring AF.

Then there’s Uncle Philip, who commits LEGIT incest when he rapes Dawn. In the last 10 pages, he takes Christie out to visit Jefferson at the hospital, but he totally lies and takes her out to the beach so he can recreate the spider-hands car make-out scene from Dawn:

“I want to… to show … to teach you… things,” he gasped. His hands were over my breasts and his fingers began to fumble with the buttons on my blouse. I kicked up and twisted myself wildly to get out from under him, but he was too heavy and too strong. His fingernails tore down the side of my neck and onto my chest. I screamed and screamed and then I clutched a handful of hand and turned to him.

Even in the pitch darkness, I could see his eyes gleaming, his skin moist with perspiration.

“Dawn…”

“I’m not Dawn! I’m not” I screamed and tossed the sand in his face.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWNNNNNN!

Christie ends up at Bronson Alcott’s house and he’s like, “Now that your grandmother’s dead I don’t have anyone to take care of so sure, I’ll take care of you and Jefferson.”

Some Good Olde School Misogyny

Most of it comes from Christie’s nostalgic memories of Dawn. Christie can’t help but think about how BEAUTIFUL Dawn was after she died. It’s a travesty because she was so damn beautiful.

Christie’s only vivid memories of Dawn are of their conversations of love and sex, and specifically of Dawn’s love affair with Michael Sutton. Why would a mother do this? I dunno. You’d think Dawn would have been ashamed, would have learnt from her mistake of buying his BS, but no. She’s still blinded by her fantasy of him.

Here, Dawn explains to Christie was REAL LOVE is and what it’s like after you have sex when you’re really in love, compared to what it’s like when you’re bonding like and not a total slut whore tramp like Fern:

“Girls who give their bodies to men for the pleasure of the moment don’t value themselves; they’ve closed the doorway to the soul and to love.”

“They take the stars for granted; they resent the song of birds waking them in the morning; the ocean is monotonous to them, and they think getting up early enough to see the sunrise is stupid and exhausting. It’s as if… as if they’ve missed the ride from the angels and are doomed to drift from one shallow thing to another.”

Yeah, I’ll take this as some solid advice, Dawn, when you feel for a loser like Michael Sutton and got yourself into the mess that was Secrets of the Morning.

Christie takes Dawn’s advice, because after she has sex with Gavin, this is her morning-after:

Slowly, as the first dray of sunlight lifted the shadows from the trees and the earth absorbed the darkness like a sponge, I felt in tune with everything. I realized that every morning the flowers, the grass, the forest and all the animals were reborn. I opened the window wide and inhaled the warm morning air as if I could also inhale the sunshine. I embraced myself and closed my eyes and remembered that moment when Gavin and I touched each other’s souls and with our bodies promised to be true and loving forever and ever. I had not missed the ride with the angels.

Some Really Bad Writing

There’s a lot of that class V.C. Andrews melodramatic overwriting. Every couple pages Christie’s going off on how difficult things are or how beautiful something is or how much she loves something. Here’s a sad version where she talks to Dawn during her late-night graveyard visit:

“Oh, Mommy, it’s so hard to live in a world without you,” I moaned. “Nothing’s the same; no morning is as warm and bright, no night is as safe, nothing that I loved to eat tastes as good, and nothing that was pretty to wear looks pretty to me anymore. I feel empty inside. Surely my fingers will be numb on the piano keys. The melody is gone.”

She goes on for another page, but I think you get the gist, right? The prose is purple and it goes on and on like a Saskatchewan field. You could watch your dog run away for days on this prose.

Honestly, all the bad passages I marked consist of ridiculous over-writing. I didn’t notice it during my reading. Maybe I’m just blind to Neiderman’s poster-Andrews’ prose by now. I don’t know.

Here’s a scene where Christie’s had a bit too much wine and wants to bone Gavin but he’s trying to be nice by not taking advantage of her inebriation.

“I want to be with you,” he said, “but not when you’re confused.”

I wanted to shout back that I wasn’t confused. It wasn’t the wine; it was the woman in me demanding to be born in a beautiful ad loving way instead of being ripped and torn and dragged into maturity by a sick and twisted man. I wanted to pretend that this was my first time, that I was a girl with a normal life and not one who had been abused. My body ached to be treated tenderly, kindly, softly. I wanted our kisses to be kisses that reached into the farthest corners of my heart to stir my imagination. I wanted Gavin to touch me and set off the fire of passion in a way that made love between a man and a woman something wonderful, not something horrible to haunt me forever.

And just like that, once again my SEO writing score is a fail. These massive blocks of text are a turn-off to editors. For any writers out there, DO NOT DO THIS. The above paragraph could have been like 3 sentences. Minimalism is your friend.

Lastly, here’s a scene where Christie puts on her birthday dress, a silk strapless pink monstrosity with shoes dyed to match:

When I first tried the dress on, I thought I looked foolish in it because of my small bosom, but Mommy surprised me by buying me an uplift bra. Even I was shocked by the effect. It took my breath away to see my breasts swell up to create a cleavage. My face reddened along with my chest and neck. Could I wear this? Would I dare?

I’m confused here because it’s a strapless dress and I’m quite sure that strapless push-up bras didn’t exist until recently, but please, anyone who knows anything about early 90’s fashion, please let me know. I’d assume that a strapless dress would have the bust built-in, no?

Also, it took Christie’s breath away to see her pushed-up boobs? This reads less of a teenage girl confronting her modified cleavage for the first time and more of a middle-aged man’s fantasy of a teenage girl confronting her modified cleavage for the first time. Maybe that’s just me?

My Final Thoughts

This novel floated from one portion to the next. I found Dawn and Jimmy’s death rather shocking, but instead of utilizing that inciting moment, Neiderman spends a a grueling bulk of the novel torturing us with numerous schemes that the twins pull on Jefferson. Every promised “big moment” leads to another new place and more repetitious scenes.

In the end Christie learns nothing.

The post MIDNIGHT WHISPERS – A Grown-Ass V.C. Andrews Review appeared first on REBECCAJONESHOWE.COM.

7 Reasons Why Skirts are Better than Pants

Take one look at my Instagram profile and you’ll notice that I pretty much always wear skirts when I venture outdoors. On the rare occasion that I don pants, usually somebody points and shrieks, “YOU’RE WEARING PANTS!” as though I spend most of my days in my skivvies. Skirts are better than pants. Here are seven reasons why:

Skirts Disguise My Short Legs

Anyone with short legs knows how much pants can suck. I’m a sucker for a good pair of cropped jeans from time to time (Levi’s wedgie fit for the win!) but even then, the cropped leg-style doesn’t exactly benefit my short leg situation.

What’s a lady to do? Don a skirt, of course! With a skirt you can create balance. I like to wear them high to create the illusion that my legs are longer. Typically they say that short girls shouldn’t wear a skirt below the knee, but honestly, that rule is pretty much BS. It’s about the cut (A-line is always friendly!) and wearing it at the smallest part on your waist. Bump up your height with a pair of heels and nobody would ever guess that your inseam is 24 inches.

Here’s me in a long skirt:

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A post shared by Rebecca Jones-Howe (@rebeccajoneshowe) on Jul 11, 2019 at 2:45pm PDT

Here’s me in a short skirt:

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A post shared by Rebecca Jones-Howe (@rebeccajoneshowe) on Nov 6, 2019 at 4:38pm PST

Either way, I have LEGS that I know how to use.

Skirts Offer Limitless Pattern Choice

Sure, you can get coloured pants and floral pants and striped pants and pants with skulls all over them, but do they look good on you? Too many variables. Skirts are better than pants because you just need a good cut and you’re good to go.

I can’t imagine how bad I’d look in a pair of striped pants, but in a skirt:

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A post shared by Rebecca Jones-Howe (@rebeccajoneshowe) on Jul 14, 2019 at 3:01pm PDT

Skirt Pockets are Actually FUNCTIONAL

IT HAS POCKETS! is the mantra we ladies love with our believed dresses and skirts. Sure, that’s great and all, but nobody ever brags about how practical skirt pockets actually are.

I’d argue that this is the single reason why skirts are better than pants. Can you fit your phone in your jean pocket without it falling out and into the toilet when you pull your pants down to pee? Nope! Can you put anything of value into your jeans without the object ruining the shape or cut of your pants? Nope!

You can do all those things and more with a skirt pocket. During the summer I can jam my phone and my bus tickets and my keys and my headphones and spare change in my skirt and it doesn’t ruin the look of my outfit. Most skirts in retro reproduction markets do have pockets. (Check out Retrolicious for USA-made pocket-friendly skirts.) Live in skirts and you’ll never have pocket problems again!

Skirts Make Summer Tolerable

Everyone knows how much I hate summer.

Shorts are stupid. Especially when you’ve got meaty thighs. Shorts are either too short and your thigh chub rubs together. Also, as I’ve mentioned above with my short legs, I can’t buy longer Bermuda shorts because look like flood pants on me. Life would suck for a petite short-legged lady like myself were it not for the magic of skirts.

If any of these issues affect you during summer, you need to live in skirts. Pair your skirt with a pair of bike shorts and you won’t just be surviving summer. You will actually look good too!

Skirts Evoke Effortless Stylishness

My favourite kind of skirt is a good midi. Rayon is my favourite material because it’s breathable (for summer) and it flows and it also doesn’t get stuck to my tights (in the winter). It’s my go-to comfort piece of clothing for a day out. It’s comfy and movable. You don’t have to worry about sitting in a dignified way.

This yellow polka-dot skirt by Tulip B that I bought from Modern Millie Boutique has become my go-to standard skirt for everyday wear. The polka-dot print pairs with everything. (If you’d like to get into pattern-mixing, check out my Pattern Mixing Like a Boss post for some tips to make it less terrifying.) Here’s my fave casual skirt look I’ve donned with my trusty midi:

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Skirts Are Timeless

Denim trends change so often that your new pair of light wash mom jeans are gonna go out of style soon. I don’t know how many “magic” pairs of jeans I’ve bought that went out of style faster than my thighs could wear them out. Now they’re stuck in a box destined for Value Village.

Skirts are better than pants for their timeless nature. Sure, cuts and materials might change, but the classic A-line has NEVER GONE AWAY. I have skirts I’ve owned for years and years. In the light of buying less and having a more sustainable closet, I really do think that skirts are a wiser investment.

Skirts Are Easier to Fit Than Pants

I gave up on pants because as a short-legged curvy but not-quite-petite woman, finding a flatting pair of pants was the most IMPOSSIBLE TASK IN THE UNIVERSE. Not only do you need to find the right waist size, but you gotta find a flattering cut, a proper inseam, the right colour, and the pockets have to sit on the exact right spot on your ass.

If a single aspect of these standards falls the slightest bit out of line, then you look like a heaping pile of disaster and any picture you appear in with your ill-fitted jeans will make you feel like your whole life is pointless and you need to die a terrible and fiery death simply because you don’t look like the stupid Gap model (who happens to not look like a real-life mom in new-age simulated “mom jeans”). Fuck that.

With skirts, you literally just need to find a good A-line in your waist size. High waist is always best. It flatters the narrowest part of your figure and BOOM. You look amazing. You love yourself. Best of all, you can spin around in a circle and it’s movie magic over and over and over and the magic NEVER ends.

So what are you waiting for? Start living your skirt-dominated life now!

Does Your Day-to-Day Life Have Enough Skirts?

How often do you live in skirts? I realize that job-depending, you might have no choice but to wear pants. I’m fortunate enough to work in an industry where dressing up is a part of the appeal, so I’m lucky that I can wear skirts whenever I want.

Are skirts more of a formal garment to you? Do you wear a casual skirt? Are skirts reminiscent of a patriarchal time? Should we burn skirts and wear leggings until climate change kills us all?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

The post 7 Reasons Why Skirts are Better than Pants appeared first on REBECCAJONESHOWE.COM.

TWILIGHT’S CHILD – A Grown-Ass V.C. Andrews Review

After the mess that was Secrets of the Morning, I was beyond stoked to start fresh with Twilight’s Child. No longer is Dawn Cutler a dumbass teenager. Now she’s a grown-ass woman (like me!) who learns (without even a high school diploma) how to run an entire resort. Is she #girlboss enough to do it? Let’s dive deep in this Grown-Ass V.C. Andrews review!

AS MRS. JAMES GARY LONGCHAMP, DAWN IS BLISSFULLY HAPPY. BUT A LEGACY OF DECEIT AND BETRAYAL STILL HAUNTS HER…

At last, Dawn can create a haven of warmth and love for her beautiful baby girl, Christie, and her darling Jimmy. Dawn is a huge success as the new owner of the Cutler’s Cove hotel… and soon she and Jimmy will be blessed with a child of their own.

Yet Dawn cannot quell her forebodings of evil. She an sense Grandmother Cutler’s presence everywhere… can feel her bitter hatred as if the old lady plotted her vengeance from the grave. When Dawn discovers that her brother, Philip, still clings to his mad, shameful passion for her, she is heartstricken. Her spiteful, jealous sister, Clara, is far easier to ignore… until the day Clara’s childish rage explodes into violence, destroying Dawn’s most cherished, precious dream.

Then Christie’s father, debonair singing star Michael Sutton, returns. Now, as the heartaches and scandals of the past threaten to engulf her, Dawn must fight for her steadfast Jimmy… for only with Jimmy’s love can she find the rainbow at the end of the storm.

About the Book

Spanning 410 pages, this book is JAM-PACKED full of DRAMZ. It picks up right where Secrets of the Morning left off and follows Dawn’s adulthood for 7-ish years. The book doesn’t make the passage of time exactly clear, but the plot takes her on a luxury cruise worth of truly crazy shit. Spoilers below, as I don’t think I can address everything in a single review:

Dawn and Jimmy have a custody battle over Christie.Dawn and Jimmy get married.Randolph (Dawn’s step-dad) dies.Dawn’s mother marries an old love interest.Dawn gets pregnant.Clara Sue turns “bad girl”.Dawn miscarries.Philip gets all creepy obsessed with Dawn again.Dawn and Jimmy build their own house on the resort.Jimmy reunites with Daddy Longchamp.Dawn and Jimmy reunite with their long-lost sibling, Fern.Fern is THE WORST.Michael Sutton returns.Clara Sue dies in a freak car accident.Dawn’s mother goes insane.Emily Booth dies.Dawn (finally!) gets pregnant.







My Copy

In a rush to get all the Cutler books, I grabbed the only copy at the used bookstore without caring about the book’s quality. It’s a decent reading copy, bearing all the standard signs of wear. The bottom edge of the binding’s come a bit loose. I worried about making it worse while reading, as I’ve become a bit obsessed with finding near-perfect books again.

My new goal is to have a near-perfect collection of V.C. Andrews books. This copy fails to hit my standards, but hey, it’s got a keyhole cover and an intact step-back:

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I quite like these 80s-style family photo shots. They’re so surreal in that they look staged but none of the characters featured would ever pose together in such a fashion. Dawn sits in the chair with Christie on her lap. On the top left is Dawn’s mother, Laura Sue, then Jimmy, and Clara Sue and an older Philip (who looks a lot like Billie from Stranger things). I wasn’t sure who the girl on the left was, but I quickly realized that she’s FERN.

Somebody wrote #14 on the inside title page. This is the 14th book published under V.C. Andrews’ name, so somebody must have had a complete collection that they couldn’t read without creasing the spines. I’m shaking my head at you, previous owner.

The Review

I feel like this is the first V.C. Andrews book I’ve read that features an actual character arc for the protagonist. In this case, Dawn’s takes notice that her once timid personality is hardening. She’s paranoid of becoming just like Grandmother Cutler. While the arc could be a bit blunt from time to time, I did quite appreciate Dawn’s transition into functional adulthood. Still, this book wasn’t without it’s stereotypical flaws.

Admittedly, I had a tough time plugging all the pieces of this book into their standard V.C. Andrews tropes. It might be a bit of a mess, but we’re in the third book in Dawn’s “trilogy”. It’s a return to the first book and everything from the past is about to get dredged up all Scream 3-style on Dawn’s ass.

Grandmother Cutler’s ghost is calling.





An Innocent & Pretty, Yet Completely Naive Female Protagonist

Over the years Dawn has become less innocent and naive, but she sure is still pretty! That is, according to Jimmy and — we’ll get to this later — Philip. Dawn marries Jimmy in a wedding planned by Laura Sue. It’s pretty epically 80’s, as is described in this passage:

As people entered they had to pass through a giant arch covered with red and yellow roses that spelled GOOD LUCK DAWN AND JAMES. On the other side of the arch, the maître d’ awaited at a desk upon which he had everyone’s name and assigned table. The entire ballroom had been decorated in a wedding motif. Enormous white, green, blue and yellow styrofoam cutouts of bells an flowers, chapels and angels were hung on the walls. At the far end were gigantic cutouts of a bride and a groom at the altar.

One major thing about V.C. Andrews books is that none of the style references age well. It’s weird because Dawn describes the decor and her mother’s dress in detail, but she doesn’t describe her own dress at all. It’s a borrowed dress from her mother, so I’m assuming early 70’s? Least it can’t be as horrible as the wedding decor.

Dawn says her vows but she can’t help but notice Philip in the background, reciting Jimmy’s vows. It’s only the beginning, friends! Dawn’s the new #bossbitch at Cutler’s Cove. Unfortunately, Dawn has no sense that some serious shit is about to happen.

A Tragic Death

Randolph (Dawn’s step-father) shows signs of distress after Grandmother Cutler’s death. He withdraws from the family and spends most of his time measuring laundry soap and counting paperclips to save on hotel costs. He stops taking care of himself, loses weight, and refuses to participate. Dawn attempts to get her mother and Philip to show concern for his well-being, but then some of the hotel workers find him dead in the family cemetery over Grandmother Cutler’s grave.

Laura Sue dresses to the 10’s for a funeral in some ostentatious 80’s ensemble. Her husband’s death sends her into a fury of vanity, which also sends her back into the arms of her former beau, a bank manager named Bronson Alcott. It’s revealed that at some point in the past that Bronson had a younger sister with an ailment who he spent too much time taking care of, and thus he was unable to date Laura Sue util after his sister died, but by then, Laura Sue had already married Randolph. Just like Prince Charles, Bronson was unable to ever forgot his first true love, and now, with Randolph dead, they’re free to marry!

Also, it turns out that Clara Sue is actually Bronson’s child and that Clara Sue isn’t even at Cutler at all, which doesn’t work out so well for Clara Sue when Clara Sue tries to fight Dawn for the Cutler family inheritance.

A Beloved Doting “Paternal” Figure

What this book lacks in true “Daddy presence” it makes up for in Philip’s messed-up new role in Dawn’s life. He was dearly missed in Secrets of the Morning, and his return, while intriguing, is also kind of pointless?

He returns to help Dawn look after the hotel, but he still makes the occasional lovelorn statement or touches her in a non-brotherly way for a little too long. Dawn brushes him off, wanting to forget the fact that he once raped her in the same hotel.

Dawn, in true V.C. Andrews fashion, doesn’t tell Jimmy about the weirdness. Luckily, Jimmy gets the idea that they build a separate house on the resort property so they can live as a family away from the hotel.

Philip marries a plain-Jane woman named Betty Ann. He then gets Betty Ann to dye her hair blond so she can look like Dawn. Later, after Betty Ann gives birth to twins, Philip starts sleeping in a different room. Turns out that that different room is Dawn and Jimmy’s old suite. Dawn goes inside to find one of her old nightgowns and a bottle of her perfume on the bed Philip sleeps on.

Then one night, while Jimmy’s visiting with Daddy Longchamp, Philip comes over drunk. The scene that unfolds should be troubling, but Philips’s lovelorn dialogue is so absolutely absurd that I can’t help but adore this absolute GIFT of a scene.

“You’ve had enough to drink, Philip,” I said. I cut him off in the middle of the room and grabbed his right arm, spinning him around.

“Dawn,” he said, smiling, “you look lovely tonight. Just the way I always imagine you, with your hair down. You’re wearing one of your sheer nightgowns under that, aren’t you?” he asked, licking his lips.

“Philip, you turn yourself around and march yourself back to the hotel and your wife this moment, do you hear me?” I commanded. He nodded, but he didn’t move.

“My wife,” he said, and he fixed his eyes on me, his lips moving into a grotesque mockery of a smile. “You could have been my wife if that security guard hadn’t recognized your father.” He seized my shoulders and pressed his forehead to my hair. “We could have eloped before Grandmother Cutler could have said anything,” he whispered. From the way he spoke, I knew it was a fantasy he replayed time and time again.

It’s probably the best and most well-written scene in the book. There’s action and dialogue. Not fantastic, but at least it’s something that’s not a burden to read.

A Hostile Maternal Figure (+ Bonus Mean Girl!)

Dawn spends most of her days agonizing over the change in her personality whenever people mention that she’s taking charge just like Grandmother Cutler did. Grandmother Cutler haunts Dawn throughout the novel. Most of the book’s tension comes from Dawn’s inner turmoil, but it’s Clara Sue who causes the most agony.

Shortly after Dawn and Jimmy get Christie back, Clara Sue takes the baby from the nursery and hides her in the hotel’s laundry room. A few years later, Clara Sue “kidnaps” Christie again, taking her out in her boyfriend’s truck for the afternoon. Dawn takes revenge by moving all of Clara Sue’s things to Laura Sue and Bronson’s estate at Buella Woods so she can live there. Then, Clara Sue returns from school finds her room cleared out.

And friends, this shit is NEXT LEVEL:

“Hasn’t mother told you?” I said calmly. “All your things have been moved to Buella Woods. That’s where you’re going to live now,” I said.

“Who decided that?” she asked through clenched teeth. I fixed my eyes on hers.

“I decided,” I answered calmly, despite the fear growing inside me.

Suddenly, she screamed, a high-pitched howl like some animal caught in a steel trap. She slapped her hands over the sides of her head and ripped at her own hair, her fingers clutching the strands.

Clara Sue charges at Dawn, punches her in the face and then kicks her in her pregnant stomach MULTIPLE times. Dawn loses consciousness right when Jimmy and Philip come in for the rescue. She ends up in hospital and OF COURSE loses the baby.

Jimmy mentions that they should press charges, but all Clara Sue really gets is a slap on the wrist? She goes back to school and starts dating some older men. Like seriously, everybody treats the whole incident like getting the pregnancy knocked out of your body is just a normal Cutler family occurrence.

A Vivid Gothic Setting

Cutler’s Cove Resort isn’t a new setting, but the it definitely felt more real in this book than it did in Dawn. We get opulent rooms and vivid ocean scenes. Because the family has to travel back and forth form the new house and the hotel, we get a lot more exterior description of the resort as well.

And, of course, we spend many scenes in graveyards. Can’t complain.

A Rags to Riches Plot

Jimmy sets out to build a new house for the Longchamp family on a rise in the property that overlooks the ocean. (It’s the house on the cover, ya’ll!)

Working closely with an architect, Jimmy had designed a two-story classical revival with a two-tiered entry porch supported by four simple columns.

I’m a broke-ass Millennial here, and not much else speaks volumes of wealth than owning a hotel and building your own luxury house on it because you don’t wanna live in the hotel next to your pervy half-brother anymore.

Some Good Olde School Misogyny

Once again, Dawn’s obsession with Clara Sue’s weight is troubling:

…Clara Sue continued battling her weight. Through her figure was fuller and more voluptuous than mine, if she wasn’t careful, she put on extra pounds. She has no self-control when it came to sweets and was constantly on a diet. She never lacked interest from the opposite sex, and because of her increasingly promiscuous behavior — so I heard — she had a following of boys at school.

Another qualm I have is with Dawn’s mother. I’ve always found her an interesting character. She’s got a weird mix of vanity + anxiety, but she takes it beyond believably. After Randolph’s death she pretty much becomes this woman:

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And just like Rhonda, she is unbearable.

Fantastic Psychological Horror

The “horror” in this book isn’t so much psychological as it is Neiderman throwing curveball plots at Dawn and asking her, CAN YOU TAKE IT?! Anyway, I’m using this last “trope” to address the book’s other two major plot points.

First: Michael Sutton.

He’s BAAAAAAAAAACK.

I waited the entire book for his promised return, but this plot point literally took up two chapters in the last 1/6th of the book. Michael calls Dawn up wanting to see Christie. A lot worse for wear (he’s aged and has grey hairs now), Michael gives Christie a necklace and proceeds to ask Dawn for $5000. Dawn refuses but then Michael claims he doesn’t care about his celebrity status anymore. He knows that a public custody battle would ruin the image of Cutler’s Cove Resort. Dawn LWYWR’S UP (a la Saul Goodman). She visits with Michael a second time and records his ultimate plan on a hidden recorder and the whole Michael Sutton threat vanishes just as quickly as it came.

Another plot that enters the book in it’s latter half is the return of Dawn and Jimmy’s long-lost sister, Fern. They head to New York where Fern’s adoptive parents live. The parents (obviously!) turn out to be bougie jerk-offs, which Fern affirms when she confesses that adoptive father molests her in the bath. Dawn and Jimmy confront Fern’s adoptive parents and the parents are like, FINE, JUST TAKE HER!

However, all is not blissful with long lost sissy’s return. Fern steals money from the hotel, fails her classes and lets her young cousins (Christie and Gavin) touch genitals or whatever. Then, Dawn finds a “romance magazine” in Fern’s room with a totally not romantic confessional story inside. FUN FACT: The article is called “My Stepfather Raped Me, but I Had No One to Tell”, which kind of feels like a nod to a real V.C. Andrews confessional she once published, titled “I Slept with My Uncle on My Wedding Night”. (Reference is halfway down the page.)

Turns out Fern made everything up. Dawn confronts Fern, but Fern is already beyond redemption (and a pointless character) by that point.

Incest!

Miss Emily dies at the end of the book, and Dawn and Jimmy head back to The Meadows to bury her. During their stay, Luther (not actually a rapist as I originally thought, but rather just a dude who fell in love with a woman with the mental capacity of a child) reveals to Dawn that Charlotte is not actually Grandmother Cutler’s sister.

SHE’S ACTUALLY GRANDMOTHER CUTLER’S DAUGHTER, the spawn of Grandmother Cutler and her incestuous rapist father. And with this revelation, Dawn understands why her grandmother was a total bitch.

Full-circle storytelling, amirite?

Some Really Bad Writing

Sometimes I hate posting these excepts because they ALWAYS make my Yoast SEO really angry with me. My “readability” ranking is a green happy face right now, and I’m gonna sacrifice that perfection just for you, dear readers.

One thing that’s bugged me this entire series has been Dawn’s “love” for Jimmy. While she claims to love him and feel assured by him, she never writes blossoming purple prose passages about him the same way she does about Michael. Here’s a ridiculous fawning segment she has RIGHT BEFORE SHE WALKS DOWN THE AISLE TO MARRY JIMMY:

Despite my reluctance to do so, I couldn’t help but think about Michael and about the wonderful, romantic times we had at his apartment in New York. That was when he made all sorts of promises to me, when we had planned our own storybook wedding, when he had filled my eyes with visions of glamour and excitement — a wedding ceremony attended by all sorts of celebrities and covered by the newspapers and magazines, a honeymoon on the French Riviera, a chalet in Switzerland, cruises, parties on yachts and a triumphant return to the stage, singing our hearts and souls out to each other in a way that would make us both superstars.

That paragraph is only two sentences long, yet it takes up half the page and the text is absurdly small (10pt). Like, you wanna build a wall over Mexico? Do it with V.C. Andrews paragraphs because that shit will be IMPENETRABLE.

And speaking of penetration, here’s Dawn and Jimmy consummating their marriage, the passage of which not only contains the worst use of alliteration ever, but also the least sexy thing your brother who isn’t actually your brother could say right before sticking it in:

Gently he peeled my blouse away and slipped it down my arms. Just as gently, almost magically, he unfastened my bra. I didn’t open my eyes. I felt him move down the bed to take off my heels and slide my skirt over my legs. When he plucked my panties away I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was gazing at me with such desire, I felt myself grow faint.

“Do you remember,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper, “how you would catch me from time to time watching you dressing?”

Dawn’s mother is of particular concern in this book. When she announces that she plans to marry Bronson Alcott, Dawn persists. Then Bronson invites her to have a heart to heart. Bronson shares his story and Dawn is suddenly okay with the matter. Then she goes home and gets all early aughts emo introspective:

Yes, we lived in castles, but the moats that surrounded us were filled with lies and tears. The rich and the famous lived behind billboards; their houses were like movie sets, facades, glittering but empty. What person living what he considered a mediocre life would want to trade places with Bronson Alcott once he knew the truth about how the man suffered?

Why are you trying to make me feel bad for a rich white dude, Dawn? This is not the world I want to live in. Why do you even feel sorry for him? Your life is the most cursed thing in the universe. You even say so yourself. STOP CARING ABOUT PRIVILEGED WHITE MEN.

My Final Thoughts

Dawn finishes this book 100% total #bossbabe and she won’t even try to sell you makeup or diet pills on Facebook. Sure, this book is full of ridiculous drama and pointless characters dying randomly, but a part of me just enjoyed this book for the soap opera that it was.

Unlike most soap operas, at least this one actually ended.

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